All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S02E18 The Birds and the Bees Affair

Swelling. It looks like
some sort of insect sting.

Open Channel D,
overseas relay. Priority.

Please scramble.

Mr. Kuryakin? ILLYA:Yes, sir.

Well, let me have your
security report, please.

There's been an assault on
U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters, Geneva.

All personnel dead.

How did they penetrate security?

Well, until our research people get here,
all we can do is make an educated guess.

But there seems to have been
some sort of insect attack...

probably through
the heating vents.

I see.

Well, what do you suggest?

A Section One Headquarters alert
to direct all of our offices to stand by.

And change over to
emergency ventilating systems.

- I see. Anything else?
- Not for the moment.

Then in that case, proceed
on to New York for debriefing.

I'll have Dietrich
take over there.

Honey.

- Bees.
- Close the window.

They're smashing
themselves against the window.

There's a lake up ahead.

A most remarkable
escape, I must say.

No unpleasant
aftereffects, I trust?

Well, nothing...

except the crease in my trousers
hasn't quite been the same.

Then we can proceed.

This is a blowup
of one of the bees...

our research people found
in the office at Geneva.

It's a new breed
of bee, so minute...

that it can penetrate even the very
finest of small wire-mesh screening.

A follow-up reports that each man
received over 100 minute bee stings.

- Actually, one would have been sufficient.
- Killer bees.

The problem doesn't end
there, though, I'm afraid.

The punctures were so tiny that
they were invisible to the naked eye...

indicating that the bees
themselves were practically invisible.

It would seem that Thrush has developed
another weapon of ultimate terror.

Mm.

Well, for what small
comfort it may be to us...

the bees die when
they lose their stinger.

Which brings us
to Ellias Swan...

one of the world's most
renowned entomologists...

and equally renowned
compulsive gambler.

He published an
article not long ago...

advancing the theory of
breeding a new super-bee.

- Did you read it? WAVERLY:
Quite right, Mr. Kuryakin.

And while we're
not at all certain...

that Dr. Swan is responsible
for what happened at Geneva...

we mustn't close our eyes to the fact
that this gambling propensity of his...

makes him particularly
vulnerable to Thrush.

We have reason to believe
that Dr. Swan is in New York now.

There's a list of his haunts.

It's vital that we know,
one way or another...

whether he has
any link with Thrush.

Mr. Kuryakin, the honey
that was spread on your car...

it seems, is of a special kind.

Cumberly honey. You
may wish to go into that.

I thought bees made their
own honey and then fed on it.

Well, our research
people report...

that these tiny insects are incapable of
producing enough to feed themselves...

so Cumberly honey has been
introduced as a special food.

Well, gentlemen...

looks to me as though you've
got your work cut out for you.

Mr. Solo, on your way out...

see what Del Floria can do with
that crease in your trousers, will you?

Good.

My dear Dr. Swan, aren't
you afraid of getting stung?

Over the years...

my system has worked up an
immunity against the bees' venom.

Unfortunately, it's unable to
ward off a common headache.

That hardly surprises me.

What surprises me is the
wonderful working conditions...

you have provided me with.

And the money.

- Dear me, such cynicism.
- Speaking of money...

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I had
forgotten. Ten thousand, I think.

That brings us up to
150,000, my dear doctor.

More or less, yes.

My dear Swan...

I wish you could refrain from
visiting that private club of yours.

You really can't win, you know.

Well, we all have
our needs, even you.

It's simply a question of waiting
until the percentages turn in my favor.

I sincerely hope so, Ellias. Nothing
would give me greater pleasure.

- I'll have someone bring you an aspirin.
- Oh, uh...

Funnily enough, my headache
seems entirely to have disappeared.

Amazing, the therapeutic
effect of $10,000.

I shall recommend
it to all my friends.

Oh, uh, see that the good
doctor is not disturbed.

You can make me
a tiger's milk and gin.

- Hello?
- Hello. Put Maples on.

Right away, sir.

- Vince.
- Yeah?

- Phone.
- Right away.

- Hello.
- Ah, Maples.

Maples, I have just had
a little chat with Dr. Swan.

Ten thousand dollars' worth.

So it wouldn't surprise me if
he were to pay you a little visit.

We'll be waiting for him.

May I help you, please?

I'm in no hurry.

Thank you.

One dozen jars of Cumberly
honey, ready and wrapped.

Will there be something
else, Mr. Mozart?

You know, my dear,
the offer is still open.

- You are very kind, but I am happy here.
- Really?

I wish you'd think it over.

Not only would you make more
money at my dance studio...

but you... You would
have a chance to blossom.

Do reconsider
my little proposal.

And now may I help you, please?

Was that the last of
the Cumberly honey?

Yes, but there will be
another shipment tomorrow.

There are only four
health-food stores in town...

that carry that
particular brand.

Mr. Mozart seems to
have cornered the market.

I beg your pardon?

Illya Kuryakin.

Tavia Sandor.

- I'm with the U.N.C.L.E.
- I'm Hungarian.

I have a strong feeling...

that you should reconsider
Mr. Mozart's offer of a job...

as dancing instructress.

Twenty-six. MAN 2: No more
bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Seventeen. Odd. Black.

Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

- Number two.
- Number two, yes.

No more bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

Sixteen the winner,
red and even.

- You have a system.
- Theory of probability.

Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

What's your system?

Oh, clean living
and a pure heart.

I'll have to try it sometime.

Say, would you be a good guy and
hold my spot while I cash a check?

Sure. MAN 2: Thirty-three.

Odd. Black.

Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

The man on the left of
Swan is an U.N.C.L.E. agent.

Dispose of him before
he makes contact.

Here?

Why not?

Thirty.

The man on the left of Swan.

I don't mean to pry, Dr. Swan...

but you do know that you're
being systematically cheated...

don't you?

How did you know my name?

Perhaps we could continue this discussion
where there are less distractions.

Do you think that
would be possible?

- Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.
- Thank you.

- They're compliments of the house.
- No, no, no, I wouldn't think of it.

Boy, when you're winning,
everything is on the house.

- Hey, do you mind?
- No, go ahead.

Everything on 23.

Take my advice, pal,
quit while you're ahead.

The winner, 23, red.

One too many, I guess. Some
people don't know when to quit.

Give me a hand, will you?
- No more bets.

Perhaps we should
have that little chat.

Excuse me.

If you'll just step to
the rear of the casino.

Serves me right for overtipping.

I just hope my husband
doesn't ask me for my paycheck.

Well, this would seem
to be my lucky night.

Let me escort you both
home, all right? Go right ahead.

- While I'm asleep, I'd say. SOLO:
Now, I know you don't know me.

But I've planned the most
fantastic evening you have ever had.

Let me show you some
of our instructresses.

It's a interesting concept, a
lifetime course in dancing...

but I'm still not sure.

Well, you'd be surprised at how
many doors dancing can open.

Well, that's what
I'm counting on.

We do have some very
pretty instructresses.

- So I see.
- Allow me to make a suggestion.

Why don't you take a trial course,
and if you don't like it, well...?

Do I have choice
of instructress?

Well, it's a little
unorthodox...

but I think we can
make an exception.

Oh, Tavia, dear. Tavia,
come here for a moment.

You seem to have made
a conquest with Mister...?

- Kuryakin.
- Use the private room.

Now...

Would you mind telling me now,
please? What am I doing here?

Well, Plan A was that
you were to come inside...

establish yourself,
and look around.

Then you were to report to me on
what you found out about Mr. Mozart...

and his honey collection.

So, what have you found out?

Nothing, I have been
dancing all morning.

Shut it off.

Foreigners, that's the trouble. You
give them jobs, then they turn on you.

They won't let me look around.
Everyone tells me to stay in the studio.

- So, what do we do now?
- Plan B.

That's where I look around and
you get out of here as fast as possible.

Course, I should like to
thank you for your help.

You mean that's all?

Well, my supervisor will send you a letter
of commendation suitable for framing.

You won't be able
to show it to anyone,

because all our
correspondence is classified.

Oh, Tavia.

Mr. Mozart would like
to see you in his office.

- I hope you don't mind my pinch-hitting.
- Not at all.

I must say, you're
a very apt student.

You're just making
the best of a bad job.

No, I mean it. You're
really quite good.

Uh-oh.

It's the cartridge.

I'm afraid I'm just helpless when
it comes to anything mechanical.

Here's the new cartridge.

My dear Ellias...

you really ought to see
someone about your fantasies.

Why should Thrush try
to cheat you at roulette?

Why did your man kidnap me?

Maples didn't kidnap you. He
prevented you from being kidnapped.

And why do I now have
to have this chaperone?

Because, my dear friend, you
place too little value on yourself...

which U.N.C.L.E.
obviously does not.

I will not be spied upon
from my own laboratory.

That man must go.

That, I am afraid, is
out of the question.

You mean I'm virtually a prisoner
here in my own laboratory?

Oh, come now, don't
be so melodramatic.

I see it all now.

You, the laboratory,
the casino...

All part of a package to keep
me here under your thumb.

Count your blessings, Ellias. You
have your life and your laboratory.

Don't press your luck.

What I'm trying say to you
as delicately as possible...

is that you've
become expendable.

We have the bees.

And if necessary, we can
bring in our own scientists.

Try to be happy
in your work, Ellias.

Call Internal Defense and
have them meet me here at 2:00.

And check on the flight schedule of
those two Washington entomologists.

Well, that'll be all.

Is there any word on Illya?

No, it seems we've lost touch
with Mr. Kuryakin at Mozart's studio.

Precisely why I called you in.

Well, they probably have got Swan
and his bees in there somewhere.

- I'll close in on them.
- Yes, but go carefully, Mr. Solo.

If those bees get turned loose,
the whole city will be endangered.

- Yes, sir.
- One other thing, Mr. Solo.

Mr. Kuryakin has enlisted the aid of
Ms. Tavia Sandor as dance instructor.

Keep an eye out for her too.

Now, Mr. Kuryakin.

If you will be kind enough
to glance at the table...

you will observe a blueprint of
U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters, New York.

I am particularly
interested in the location

of the alternate
ventilating system.

I'm sorry.

Well, perhaps we can find something
else to make you change your tune.

No doubt you're wondering
about this machine.

Let me satisfy your curiosity.

It is electrically operated...

to produce any preselected
sound frequencies.

The vibrations are set to increase
beyond the range of human hearing...

into ultrahigh frequency.

The difference immediately
becomes apparent...

when the sound stops.

At this time, you will
have three minutes...

before the vibrations
shatter your eardrums.

Of course, if you wish
to change your mind...

there is a button at the
end of the arm of your chair.

Regard it as a test of
endurance, if you like.

Incidentally, the record
is actually four minutes.

But I'm afraid the poor man who
set it never was quite the same again.

He answers to the
name of Fido, I believe.

There's no necessity for Tavia
to witness this demonstration.

I can...

I can tell her about it later.

Oh, come, come, Mr. Kuryakin,
that's not very sporting of you, is it?

After all, you sent her in here.

And I really think that she deserves
to have her eardrums shattered...

along with yours.

Oh. You might like
to look at that again.

Roy, close down the dance
studio for this afternoon.

Let me know when he changes his
mind. I'll be in the penthouse with Maples.

Have Swan prepare the bees.

Well, I hope our little
game of musical chairs...

didn't make you
too uncomfortable.

You have a quaint sense
of humor, don't you?

Still, it did serve its purpose,
didn't it, Mr. Kuryakin?

I'll show the ventilating system
to U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters...

if that's what you mean.

You will do better than show
me. You will take me there.

That may not be
as easy as it sounds.

Come, come, don't underestimate
yourself. You're a very resourceful chap.

You'll find a way.

Unloose him.

And Miss Sandor?

She stays here, of course.

You realize that if
anything goes wrong...

Miss Sandor will be in
a very awkward position.

Illya.

The thought never
crossed my mind.

Why are they making
so much racket?

I told you yesterday, we ran out of
honey. You'd do well to feed them.

Oh, they'll survive.

Are you sure they're
enough to do the job?

More than enough.

Hey, just a minute.

Those are my bees, you
can't do that. Not all of them.

Keep him locked up in here.
I'll check back with you later.

Guard! Guard!

Look, I know you have orders
to keep me here locked up...

but I was hoping that somehow...

we could work out some
sort of accommodation.

After all, it's quite unimportant
to you whether I live...

or die.

- Dr. Swan.
- Oh, the gentleman from the casino.

What do you want? My bees?

I'll start with that.

They're on their way to
your ventilating system.

The other young fellow
is showing them the way.

- How long ago?
- A few minutes.

They took them all, including
the queen. They left only two.

Nobody cares about bees, really.

They're a form of being,
a higher form, really...

better than our
civilization, anyway.

Only one stung the guard,
and only one of us is immune.

Mr. Solo, I can save
you if you'll save my bees.

- I can't promise that.
- I must have my bees.

All right, I'll do what I can.

I believe you.

It is difficult to believe
anybody these days.

Thank you.

They sure go for
that stuff, don't they?

Well, that must
be for the guard.

- And there is a girl in that room.
- That must be Miss Sandor.

- Who are you?
- Well, isn't it obvious?

What is this?

Oh, it is a machine designed
to split your eardrums.

- The machine. Shut it off!
- Oh, God.

Security check.

Any problems?

Well done.

You know, when all this is over, we
may be able to find a place for you.

Possibly.

Hold it.

Over there.

The life you save may be mine.

- Having second thoughts?
- Let's get on with it, Mr. Kuryakin.

The bees are getting hungry.

Where are they now?

They're just getting close
to the central control room.

I have everything
on standby alert.

We'll see how well Mr. Kuryakin
makes out as he goes along.

Well, here we are. You can
see much better if you stand here.

This operates the
electrical system.

That's the emergency radar
system in case of a surprise attack.

Spare me the grand tour.
Where's the ventilating system?

I'm coming to that.

That opens the duct to Transportation.
That's the duct to Waverly's office.

Waverly's office? That will do
very nicely. Open up the duct.

I may point out that Waverly's
office is a self-contained unit.

Letting the bees out there
will gain you practically nothing.

- I will take my chances on that.
- Whatever you say.

That's far enough, Mr. Mozart.

- Put the briefcase down in front of you.
- I am walking out of here.

- I'll open the suitcase.
- Put the briefcase down, Mr. Mozart.

If I open this briefcase, not
only will all of these men die...

but some of the bees will
probably get out into the city.

All right, Mr. Mozart, go ahead.

Mr. Kuryakin.

I'd like to see you
in my office at once.

Well, it's not a very
pleasing picture, gentlemen.

A Thrush operative running
around loose in New York City...

with a briefcase full
of man-killing bees.

Undoubtedly, he'll try and
get back to Thrush Central...

where they'll try
and breed the bees.

And that's precisely
what we must prevent...

now that Mr. Kuryakin's
strategy has failed.

There you are, sir.

No sign of Mozart, I'm afraid.

Continue surveillance.

And let me know as soon
as anything has developed.

I want all transportation
centers thoroughly checked out.

- Yes, sir.
- May I make a suggestion?

- Do you have sonar equipment available?
- Yes.

Then it's simply a question of tracking the
bees by the vibrations of their buzzing.

Instruct your units to set their
frequencies at 1248 cycles.

That will enable them to lock in on
the exact pitch of the bees' vibrations.

Yes, I suppose that
might be quite a help.

Just one request, Mr. Waverly.

When you locate
Mozart, I wish to be along.

The bees are mine, and
Mr. Solo has promised me...

that every effort will be made
to return the bees to me intact.

Mr. Solo, will you take
charge of the sonar detail?

Yes, sir.

Well, what about me, sir?

It's just possible they might try to get
some more of the Cumberly honey...

to feed the bees with
before they export them.

Well, I'll detail men to cover all of the
health-food stores that carry the honey...

especially my Miss Sandor.

Yes, it might be rather nice if you
could arrange that, Mr. Kuryakin.

- The helicopter will pick us up at 4:00.
- Good. Is everything else ready?

- Yes, sir.
- Let's be off.

Illya, it's here.

Cumberly honey.

If Mr. Mozart is aware of the
timing of these deliveries of honey...

he may move to any one of
the four stores that stock it.

Channel L, please.

- Yes, Illya?
- The honey has arrived.

- Any sign of Mr. Mozart and his
bees? SOLO: You see anything on that?

Not yet.

- So they are not coming here?
- It doesn't seem that way.

They'll probably throw their
business to one of your competitors.

Keep an eye on this area.

Mozart knows we can
detect him on the ground...

so my hunch is that he'll probably
go up and try for a helicopter pickup.

- What if he makes the pickup?
- Well, we won't be able to stop him.

By the time we put anything
in the air to intercept him...

he could've landed
in any state...

and taken a plane to
Thrush Central in Europe.

- All my bees will be lost.
- Well, not completely.

If Thrush gets away with this,
we'll be seeing a lot of them.

There's no need to be
afraid of anything anymore.

You know that, don't you?

Well said, Mr. Kuryakin.

And you know something
else? I believe you.

Go!

Up.

And don't bother to
follow, Mr. Kuryakin.

Open Channel L.

Yes, Illya?

Mr. Mozart just came in here
and made away with the honey...

and Tavia.

This isn't your day, is it? I
will try and cover for you.

Thanks.

- It's my bees.
- All right, we've got a fix on them.

You're in luck, Illya. They're
on the other side of town.

I'll let you know
how it comes out.

Channel D, please. This
is Sonar 12 to all units.

We're heading for Eighth Avenue.

All units rendezvous
immediately.

We are a little early.

There it is.

You're not going
anywhere, Mozart.

All right, give it up,
Mozart. They won't land.

Yes, they will, as soon
as you lay down your arms.

And if you don't,
I'll release the bees.

You tricked us once with
that, and once is enough.

I mean it.

I'd rather go that way
than have you take me.

I'm sure you can
understand that.

Cover me.

You saved us.

Yes, I did, didn't I?

Well, we owe you quite a
debt of gratitude, young lady.

- Thank you very much for all your help.
- Oh, I owe everything to Mr. Kuryakin.

Oh.

- We all do.
- Yes.

I, um...

I suppose you have recovered
rather well, Mr. Kuryakin.

- Goodbye, Miss Sandor.
- Goodbye.

I knew you could
do it with a little help.

Well, will you return to
your health-food store now?

I don't think anything could be worse
than what I have been through today.

And after all this, I have
certainly nothing to be afraid of.

I think I am ready for
more exciting things.

Uh, such as...?

My own dancing studio.

- And these are worth two free lessons.
- Thank you.

Being able to dance is very
good for your self-confidence...

you know.

And for you, I have
something special.

A lifetime course.