All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S02E15 The Very Important Zombie Affair

Must be our man.

May I...?

- You can keep it.
- Thank you.

Do you have it?

Seaside Hotel,
1124 Flamingo Road.

How corny can you get?

Striped suit, green hatband,
girlie magazine under left arm.

Don't you think Waverly
is overdoing it a bit?

Oh-oh. Another one.

What do we do now?

Well, when in doubt,
follow instructions.

May I have a light?

- Thank you.
- You can have these.

- Well...?
- Not a thing.

Unless they're
using invisible ink.

He's not one of ours. We gave up
that kind of kindergarten stuff ages ago.

- Something interesting?
- I'm not sure.

But I think those characters
in that car are interested in us.

Driver, see if you can
lose that red car behind us.

You bet.

Watch out for the truck.

What's the matter with you?
You drunk or something?

Police, where were
you taking them?

Eleven hundred
block, Flamingo Road.

- Seaside Hotel.
- Seaside Hotel.

Get back, you animals!

Señor Delgado?

You must be the two gentlemen
U.N.C.L.E. promised to send in.

Yes, I'm sorry we're late.

Your government was tipped
that we were on our way.

I'm not surprised.

There's very little that escapes
El Supremo's Intelligence Service.

So it would seem. How soon
can you be ready to leave?

Exile, a hunted exile like myself
must always be ready to flee.

My wife and I are entirely
at your disposal, gentlemen.

I am sorry, but I
have to disagree.

And please don't think me
ungrateful. You've just saved our lives.

But now that those
men know your identity...

they will never allow my
husband to reach New York alive.

My dear, there is always
danger in opposing evil.

But if I don't appear at the
Council of Nations now...

I will have failed in my duty...

and all those who gave their
lives fighting to free our country.

I can assure you, Señora Delgado,
that you and your husband...

will be protected by the resources
at the disposal of U.N.C.L.E.

I am sure you will do
the best, gentlemen.

But you have no idea the kind of
enemy with which you have to deal.

Fighting El Supremo is
like fighting the devil himself.

You must forgive my wife.

But she's seen so much
cruelty and oppression...

that it sometimes
affects her judgment.

I understand.

- It's all right. The coast's clear.
- Shall we be on our way, then?

You ring a big enough bell somewhere,
and you get a little kewpie doll.

Drop it. It is voodoo.

Look at the head.
Is there a face on it?

Matter of fact, I
believe it's yours.

- Oh.
- No!

Don't let him see it.

Hmm. Most extraordinary.

I told you, it is no use.
They cannot help him.

Well, what do you suggest we do, fly
in a couple of African witch doctors?

It may surprise you, Mr. Solo, but that
may be exactly what my husband needs.

No, nothing would surprise
me on this assignment.

Oh, more tests?

- X-rays.
- Oh.

Just a minute, there may
be some mistake here.

Do not worry, Mr. Solo. I will not
let him out of my sight for a minute.

Hurry, we do not have much time.

- Doctor.
- There you are, Mr. Solo.

I'm afraid there are certain
psychosomatic disturbances...

Doctor, did you
order another x-ray?

No, why?

Voodoo? Oh, really, Mr. Solo.

Well, I use that term only
in the interest of brevity, sir.

It seems much easier than saying the art
of inducing psychosomatic disturbances.

Well, whatever it is, that's the real
secret of El Supremo's stranglehold...

over his unfortunate country.

I have no wish to offer any alibi,
but there was nothing in our briefing...

to indicate that Señora Delgado
was playing a double game.

I'm still not
satisfied that she is.

However, this may
prove your point.

"Delgado returns home, promises
full support to El Supremo."

He doesn't miss
a trick, does he?

No, that's what so disturbs
the Council of Nations.

Delgado is the only remaining
leader left capable of challenging him.

He must be
rescued, at all costs.

Otherwise, this reign
of terror of Supremo's...

will spread like a plague
over the entire region.

Do we have time to
change before we leave?

I understand there's some very excellent
haberdasheries in Puerta del Cielo.

What a name for a
city. Gates of heaven.

I just hope that they remain
firmly shut while we're there.

Guess who that is.

No cracks.

My name is Solo. I have a
reservation for two, please.

Just a moment, sir.

Just a moment.

Just a moment.
Whose trunk is this?

Just as I thought.

Okay, Miss Suzy, you
may come out now.

A nice, intelligent girl like you should
know better than to try such a silly thing.

You could have suffocated.
Don't say it, Suzy.

Such language is not
becoming to a lady.

You have five minutes to be in
your uniform and back on your job.

Y tu?

What was she trying
to do, beat her hotel bill?

Suzy? She's the new
manicurist at the barbershop here.

Silly girl's homesick. That's the
third time she's tried to get away.

- In a trunk?
- Oh, no. Once she tried the laundry chute.

- Wouldn't it be simpler by plane?
- Impossible, señor.

El Supremo is too fond of
the way she does his nails.

Now, what was that name again?

- Solo.
- Oh, yes.

Lovely.

Look at the view.
Reminds me of Naples.

Yes, see La Puerta
del Cielo and die.

Yeah, well, it's
not that beautiful.

Well, wasn't our contact supposed
to leave word for us somewhere?

Perhaps he has.

"Welcome to the
Pearl of the Caribbean.

Over.

After you've finished admiring
the fruit, take a look in the closet."

"After you've finish admiring
the fruit, take a look in the closet."

What's that? Some
kind of local joke?

Aha. Our first contact man.

No, there's nothing
psychosomatic about that.

He's been stabbed
through the heart.

We better find our other
contact before they do.

Too late.

Oh, come in.

I am so sorry I am
late, gentlemen.

But your plane was a little
early. I am Capitán Ramirez.

- Yes, I believe we've met before, capitán.
- Oh.

My compliments, señor. I did
not think you had recognized me.

Well, you're not a man that
one easily forgets, captain.

Thank you, señor.

Gentlemen, I've come to escort
you to the presidential palace.

Is that an invitation
or a command?

An invitation by El Supremo is
always a command, Señor Solo.

He expects you
promptly at 4:30. Hmm?

We don't have much
time, then, do we?

- It's only a few short blocks from here.
- Uh-huh.

Would you like a
cigarette, captain?

No, I prefer my own brand.

Oh.

Well, we owe you some matches.

Perhaps you'll settle for this.

Go ahead, it won't
explode in your face.

Thank you, thank you.

I will always cherish it as a memento
of my first encounter with U.N.C.L.E.

Perhaps we might stop in the
barbershop for a second, all right?

Mmm. An excellent idea. I
could use a shave myself.

Good.

You go ahead, I'll follow.

I'm one of those
do-it-yourself fellows.

If it is the body in the closet that is
bothering you, don't worry about it.

It will be well taken care of.

Besides, if you don't
mind my saying so...

you could use a haircut.

Oh.

I think that man was right.

You know, you could have
suffocated in that trunk.

I don't care.

Anything's better than another
three months in this place.

Is it that bad?

- How long y'all been here?
- Well, I just arrived.

Wait till you spend
a little time here.

And don't ask me
how I got here either.

Y'all ever been to
Chickory, Louisiana?

No.

Oh, you're lucky.

All you do there is sit around and
think about how you can get away.

One day, one of those traveling
men left a New Orleans paper behind...

- with one of these help-wanted ads.
- Mm-hm.

Wouldn't you all just grab a chance
to get out of that Chickory barbershop?

I don't know what I'd give
to be back there right now.

Well, suppose there was a way.

- You mean it?
- Shh, shh.

Now, just let's keep this
between the two of us.

Shall we?

Now, don't kid me, mister.

Because, well, I mean, I
want y'all to understand...

I may be desperate and all, but,
well, I haven't lost my self-respect yet...

if y'all know what I mean.

It's nothing like
that, I assure you.

It's not that I object to having a
date with a gentleman now and then...

it's just that, well...

I like to get to
know them a little.

You know the night spot
called the Casa Verde?

Oh, y'all don't wanna go there.
Mm-mm. That's no place to take a lady.

All I want you to
do is call there.

And make a reservation for
two under the name of Solo.

And then find out the exact
time of the last show, understand?

Mm-hm.

I call and I make a reservation for Solo,
and I ask for the time of the last show.

- The exact time.
- Exact time.

And then after the call, write it down,
and leave the message under my door.

Suite 304.

Y'all serious about this?

I mean about helping
me get away from here?

I've never been more serious.

Oh.

Serious about what?

The purity of my intentions.

I was merely trying to persuade the
young lady to have dinner with me.

You won't have time
for that. Are you through?

- Am I?
- Mm-hm.

All right.

Thank you kindly.

- I hope you're not getting any ideas.
- Oh, me, sir?

You better not.

You might as well give me
the two envelopes on those two.

Yes, sir.

Gee, I think you look
much better with a trim.

You may like to know that
it cost me $10 American...

for him to leave my hair alone.

Ready, gentlemen?

Right, señores.

What shall I do with you?

You realize, of course, that
there is nothing to prevent me...

from standing you up against the wall
and having you shot as enemy agents.

Your Excellency is aware of the
image he enjoys outside of these borders.

That would hardly
serve to improve it.

Exactly.

And that is the only
reason I forego the pleasure.

I could, of course, practice
on you some of our native art.

The art of voodoo, Excellency?

Well, it is an
art, Mr. Kuryakin.

But I am afraid it takes a much richer
blend of bloods and cultures than yours...

to develop a true appreciation
of its magic appeal.

And don't let the color
of my eyes mislead you.

There is no strain of blood
that flows on this island...

that does not run
through my veins.

And the beat of the jungle
drums speaks louder to me...

than all the voices
of your civilization.

I know very many
civilized people...

who maintain that
this little pet of mine...

is really my lamented
predecessor, Presidente Cardona...

whom I, by some trick of voodoo
magic, transformed into a monkey.

As though Cardona needed
anyone's assistance to become one.

I've seen some pictures
of the late president...

and I think that there
is a resemblance.

Did you hear that, Ramirez?
That's funny. Why don't you laugh?

- Ha-ha-ha.
- That's enough.

You came here, I believe,
to see Señor Delgado.

Well, I will save you the
trouble of trying to find him.

Señor Delgado, I believe
you know these gentlemen.

Good to see you, Mr. Solo.

Mr. Kuryakin.

- How do you feel, Señor Delgado?
- Much better, thank you.

Why don't you tell them what
made you decide to come home?

When I was sick,
I had time to think.

I realized I was wrong
about our great leader.

Our country needs him.

He has my full support. He...

That is enough, Señor Delgado.

You can rest now.

Poor man is still very tired. But
you can see he's coming along nicely.

Isn't he, señora?

Oh, yes, Your Excellency.

He's getting better every day.

Well, I am very grateful to
you for having brought him...

but I don't think we had
better over-tax his strength.

Satisfied?

Well, he is a changed man.

I'm glad you think so.

Well, gentlemen,
it was a pleasure.

And if I may suggest...

that if you leave now, you will still be
able to make the night flight to Miami.

We thought we might mix a
little business with pleasure...

get a glimpse of your country.

There's only really
one thing worth seeing.

And you've already met me.

Did you manage to
place the detonator?

Everything is under control.

Why don't you speak louder? I
hate people whispering behind me.

I was just wondering if you
had speed laws in this country.

Hmp. Not with only 10
minutes to catch the flight.

Well, I wouldn't wanna have
a blow out traveling at this clip.

Perish the thought.

Estupido.

- Why did you not check the tires?
- Now, don't blame this poor fellow.

An accident can
happen to any of us.

Hah. An accident, Señor Solo?

All right, just for that, you
two can do the changing.

Pronto.

Ah!

- We're gonna need a key.
- Key?

Oh, key.

Now, don't worry,
Captain Ramirez.

It was probably
overcrowded anyway.

You may yet wish you were
on that plane, Señor Solo.

No message from the manicurist.

Well, it couldn't possibly be...

that you overestimated the effects
of your charms on the young lady.

Shh.

Well, I declare.

Where I come from, a gentleman
was supposed to knock before entering.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. Did you
make that phone call I asked you to?

Well, certainly. I was
just about to slip the

message under the
door like you told me...

when it occurred to me that it
might get into the wrong hands.

So I asked this maid
I know to let me in.

Well, now, you shouldn't
have done that, Suzy.

Oh, take a shower? I
didn't think you'd mind.

See, the one up in my room
just drools, a drop at a time.

I meant the maid.
She might talk.

What was the message anyway?

Well, the man on
the phone was a kook.

I asked him for the exact
time of the next show...

and he said, "Bring a
silver dollar," and hung up.

Good girl.

- Does that make sense to you?
- Your towel's slipping.

Let's go.

Well, hey, wait a minute.
I mean, what about me?

I did my part, how about
you all doing yours?

- Well, I will.
- You promised, remember?

You just gotta give me
a little time, that's all.

Oh.

Oh, I should've known.

You men are all alike.

All sweet talk till you
get what you're after.

And then a girl
can just go whistle.

Suzy, I promised
to try, and I will.

As a matter of fact, I'm gonna
meet someone now who can help.

Oh, that's fun.
I'll come with you.

No, you can't do that. You'll get
in trouble if you're seen with us.

You see, we're not exactly
persona grata around here.

And we can't leave
her here either.

If those two jokers see her leave
this room, she might be in a worse spot.

What jokers?

Listen, do you think you
can shinny down the balcony?

Oh. Can't be much
worse than an apple tree.

Get your clothes on.

An apple tree?

It is a very nice
lighter. Pure gold.

Isn't that a bit rich
for a mere capitán?

It's yours, Your Excellency.

It's amazing how quickly a
girl can take her clothes off.

And how long it takes...

- to put them on again.
- Shh.

Who did you steal it from?

- Excellency, it's a present.
- From whom?

From the man from
U.N.C.L.E., Mr. Solo.

You numbskull. You
misbegotten son of a she-ass.

Well, that was
fun while it lasted.

They'll be on the first
plane in the morning.

They will not permitted
to leave. Not now.

See if you can get
the envelopes on them.

Oh. I already have
them, Your Excellency.

The nail parings are Solo's,
and the hair is Kuryakin's.

- That is more like it.
- Heh.

- Anything else, Your Excellency?
- Just keep an eye on them!

And before the night is out...

you will have two very surprised
young men on your hands.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Where is he?

- Who?
- Whoever you're waiting for.

Aren't you enjoying
the floorshow?

Hey, you all must make a fortune
with this. It's the same on both sides.

- Say, that man on the phone...
- Shh.

Let's get out of here, shall we?

- I don't think we're going anywhere.
- Ah.

Good evening, captain.

- Won't you join us?
- Why not?

I've been looking
for you everywhere.

Why did you have to pick this dump when
there's any number of nice places in town?

Well, we didn't think you'd
look for us in a joint like this.

I'm only trying to give
you the good news.

El Supremo has changed his mind.

You won't have to leave.

In fact, you may
remain here indefinitely.

And how long is indefinitely?

I suppose I should
be enjoying all this...

since I've had nothing but
grief since you came here.

But I'm really a very
soft sentimentalist inside.

And I have nothing
but pity for you...

as I would for any creature who's doomed
to spend the rest of his days as a zombie.

I don't know about you all,
but I'm getting out of here. Heh.

Sit down.

No one may leave until I say so.

And don't you try anything.

I have a jeep-load
of men outside.

Well, then why don't we have
one last drink before we leave?

Speaking of zombies, captain.

I've always understood
that you can't make one...

unless you have something
which is a part of the intended victim.

That's right, and El Supremo
has everything that is necessary.

Doesn't he, Suzy?

Oh, I couldn't help it.

It was part of my job.

- But I had no idea what he wanted it for.
- That's all right, we understand.

And now you know why
I gotta get out of here.

Out of this creepy,
crazy country.

Be careful what you say.

I don't care. I have
had it up to here.

And nothing's gonna happen to
them, because, you know what?

You didn't get
their hair and nail

clippings in those
envelopes. You got yours.

Mine?

It's all right. Don't get excited,
everybody. Little too much rum.

His men are
outside. Go call them.

Do you know where
Avenida Santo Tomás is?

Y'all don't wanna go there.
That's where the cemetery is.

Well, where else would
you look for a zombie?

- Oh, no, mm-mm, not me.
- Sit down...

before Ramirez wakes up and
finds out what you've done to him.

They'll never believe
this back home.

This must be it.

- I can feel my flesh crawl already.
- Come on.

I hope nobody's home.

Good evening, I'm Dr. Solo, and
this is Dr. Kuryakin, my colleague.

Captain Ramirez sent us
to attend to Señor Delgado.

Yes, this young lady is a nurse.

Que pasa?

Upstairs.

Bueno, bueno. El
Capitan Ramirez, por favor.

Mind telling us why you
decided to switch sides...

and bring your husband
back to La Puerta del Cielo?

Because he is my husband,
and I want to see him well again.

And you think El Supremo was
going to cure the only man he fears?

There are others on this
island with that power.

I should say they
haven't been much help.

I haven't had a chance
to take him to her yet.

- Her?
- Mama Lou...

the last great voodoo priestess.

They say she taught
Supremo all he knows.

It's up to you, gentlemen.
Either you take us to her...

or I will call the guards.

Well, that doesn't leave
us much choice, does it?

Oh. Well, if that's where you're going,
I'll take my chances with Ramirez, bye.

Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we
are about to become a captive audience.

Come on, in there.

- It's all set.
- Conchita.

Do it.

Excellency, am I dead?

You should be, you
brainless jackass.

- It's that girl, the manicurist.
- Never mind that now.

They have abducted Delgado. I want
you to take some men and find Mama Lou.

Mama Lou?

That's where they must
be headed, you numbskull.

- I want you to get to her first.
- Yes, Excellency.

- What now?
- We're out of gas.

- How much farther?
- I have no idea.

I've never come this far before.

- Not many people dare to come here.
- Come on.

I was wondering if
you could help us.

It is prohibited to trespass on
El Supremo's private property.

Vámanos, pronto!

I'm sorry. We didn't know that.

If you give us gasoline,
we'll be glad to get off.

Wait here. I will bring
you some from the house.

And no talking to those
men. It is prohibited.

Hyah!

What's he afraid of?

We might give them something to eat?
I've never seen a hungrier-looking lot.

They are not hungry,
señor. They are zombies.

Zombies?

Now you know what happens to
those who dare to oppose El Supremo.

Go quickly, he's
calling the soldiers.

Thanks, is there anything
we can do for you?

What can you do for the dead?

For the last time,
won't you do it?

I used to take him across
my knee and spank him.

Now he call himself El Supremo.

Ordering me?

All right, all right.

Mother, he's asking you.

That's better.

They will come and
ask you to help Delgado.

You will agree.

You take them to your prayer
house, you put on a good show.

And make them drink this.

And when it's all over, you'll
get the reward I promised you.

Hmm?

How much farther do we have to
go? I just can't take another step.

Ahem. Well, I
think we've made it.

Hold on to me, or I'll
take off any minute.

Happy Halloween.

Drink this, all of you.

Is this really necessary?

- If you want him to come back, it is.
- Mm.

Hmm? Me?

It's not too bad. Go ahead.

Bare his chest.

Let the spirit of the evil
one leave this man...

and enter the body
of the sacrifice.

It is done.

You can get up now.

Oh!

Mi amor.

Kill them. Kill them all.

Gracias, Mama Lou. Gracias.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

Nothing.

My time has come, like his.

I taught him
everything he knows.

He turned it all
to evil purpose.

Tell him...

I die cursing his name.

Yes?

Operation Calypso
reporting, sir.

Oh, yes. Come in, Calypso.
What's on your mind?

Ahem. Transportation,
sir. We have Delgado.

Control informs me that your
position has been determined.

You'll be picked up
in less than an hour.

I think we could do
with some food now.

Too bad you didn't
think of that earlier.

Ahem. Well, if there's one thing I hate,
it's being caught on an empty stomach.

Line them up over there,
and get the firing squad ready.

Just one moment,
Your Excellency.

I have a message that might
be worth your while to hear...

before we're
permanently silenced.

There is nothing you can say that can
persuade me to change my mind, Mr. Solo.

Hmm.

Not even this?

Are you trying to
impress me with this?

Frankly, I had expected
more ingenuity from U.N.C.L.E.

Don't you believe in the
efficacy of your own methods?

I wouldn't be where
I am today if I didn't.

But you are forgetting the
most important prerequisite...

of a successful application
of voodoo magic.

The intended victim must believe
in your power to invoke such magic.

And I don't believe
you have it, Mr. Solo.

I hope not, but I think the woman
who fashioned this little thing...

could give even
you, a few lessons.

Mama Lou? I don't believe you.

She died cursing your name.

That was the message
she asked us to deliver.

- I still don't believe it!
- Why not put it to the test?

Do you have a pin, Illya?

I used it. But I have this.

Well, I'm sorry we weren't able to
bring back Delgado with us after all.

Oh, that's all right.

I've just heard word
that he's been elected...

president of the provisional junta that
took over after His Supremo's demise.

Incidentally, I'm not perfectly
clear, how did you manage it?

Oh, it's quite simple really.

We frightened him to death.

Oh?

Here's something I did bring
back for the U.N.C.L.E. collection.

Hmm. How interesting.

Made in Japan.

Hmm?