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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,600 -[tapping] -[intro music] 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,240 Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all about knowing fuck all about owt, 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,440 needs to watch their back. [cries out] 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,040 So you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk, 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,320 sending prices sky high, 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,960 literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots. 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,040 And now you've got your con-dem-nation, 8 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,440 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 9 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,280 Have we had a national fucking stroke or what? 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,280 Is revolution a word or was it never? 11 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,680 Anybody watching needs to know 12 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,960 we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth. 13 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester 14 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,200 and they charge us for water! 15 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:53,000 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found, 16 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,720 this green and pleasant land in ancient times... 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,320 yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak! 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,600 It's not theirs any more. 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,880 -This is our England now. -[cheering] 20 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,760 Party! 21 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,360 [intro music fades away] 22 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,760 [Mimi] My family's everything to me. 23 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,280 They are me. 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,800 I made them. 25 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,760 -Made them strong and resilient. -[voices coming from TV] 26 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,440 [Mimi] It's a mother's duty to prepare kids for the harsh realities of life. 27 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,960 I mean, it's not easy, is it? 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,320 Taught them from day one, it's family first. 29 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,280 I'll stick this up your fucking arse. 30 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,880 [Mimi] To look out for each other, watch each other's backs. 31 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,280 'Cos, as we all know, 32 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,600 blood's thicker than water. 33 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,280 I doubt you'd find it. [sighs] 34 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,880 You missed every other fucking hole. 35 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,200 [Mimi] And you know what? They're a credit to me. 36 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,920 -Shut up, Micky! -Mum! 37 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,640 Fuck's sake! 38 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,680 Shouldn't have got in the way, then. 39 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,280 [Jamie] Shift, soft arse! 40 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,720 [Mimi] Family is everything. 41 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,160 Family's the be-all and end-all. 42 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,000 -The start and the finish. -[shattering] 43 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,880 Family is king. 44 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,720 Even when the King's long since departed, 45 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,120 family lives on. 46 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,520 And the hard fist that keeps you in line. 47 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,560 [clacking] 48 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,360 I've had to park there. 49 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,000 Sort it out with the brewery. I ain't got cash on me. 50 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,440 [Jamie] Been fine to park here for years. Who's clamped it? 51 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,720 [Lillian] You should get a tit roll without your car being impounded. 52 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:32,800 [Jamie sighs] 53 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,560 [Jackson] You tried to put me in hospital! You saw it, Mark. 54 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,880 Went in heavier than a prop forward. 55 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,240 It's footy, not rugby. 56 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,680 Stop whining, you losers. 57 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,400 [mocking noises] 58 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,120 Defend yourself. Should've given the bastard a slap. 59 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,960 -It's a game. -A game with rules. 60 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,640 Forget them and you're fucked. We're all fucked. 61 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,200 Get real, will you, Jackson? 62 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,120 The world's full of no marks like him, waiting to take what's yours. 63 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,120 Don't get me wrong. Try it again in the replay and I'll have you. 64 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,040 You reckon? 65 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,360 Anyone can make a mistake, but do it again and I'll eat you alive. 66 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,080 -[teasing noises] -More like it. 67 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,040 You know it. 68 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,280 -A scoop before you head off? -Too right. Ches! 69 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,120 Nah, mate, got an early start. 70 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,520 [Chesney] Jackson! Better luck next time, lad. 71 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,040 [Mark] Tsk... 72 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,000 -Surprised you asked him. -Why? 73 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,440 His lot don't drink, do they? 74 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,320 Well, at least there's one name. I think it's one name. 75 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,440 Conchita Maria Teresa Bonnita Ricardo Martinez. 76 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,960 No, that's me. 77 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,440 Wanted to get the ball rolling. 78 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,040 [Mimi] Weren't you in a course on wiping babies arses? 79 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,120 Doing drama, contemporary dance and needlecraft now. 80 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,880 Needlecraft? 81 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,720 Got to put a variety show on. 82 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,040 The best act gets to perform in front of a Royal. 83 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,240 So long as it's not Edward, or that ginger one. 84 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,440 Or Charles. Or Willy. The one with the teeth and the horses. 85 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,400 Or the Greek one or the other ginger one. 86 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,520 I just want to win it. 87 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,160 All that lot think I'm a right retard. 88 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,959 The Student's Union thought I was there for mental health awareness week. 89 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,480 Am I the only one serving here? 90 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,560 [Mimi and Karen] Yeah. 91 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,440 Cheeky fuckers. You got showbiz running through your veins. 92 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,640 [Karen] Got a lot running through his veins, but showbiz? 93 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,800 [Mimi] My brother, his uncle Robert, 94 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,600 toured the clubs as a magician, and worked the liners too. 95 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,280 -Uncle Bobbi, yeah. -Robert. 96 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,560 I remember him saying cruising was his life. 97 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,720 -In the magic ring and all that. -Circle. 98 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,000 Why I've never met him? 99 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,840 [Mimi] I got married, moved away and he had his career... Showbiz pals. 100 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,680 I loved the bones of him, but we moved in different worlds. 101 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,680 He was globe-trotting and I was rearing a family. 102 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,240 -You should get in touch. -I tried! 103 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,600 [Mimi] With ya now, love. 104 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,760 [Micky laughs] Crack. 105 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,880 [indistinct chatter] 106 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,800 Jesus, what charity is it this time? 107 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:13,840 You serious? 108 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:14,920 BAP. 109 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,400 -Tit? -BAP. 110 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,880 -Tit? -BAP. 111 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,920 B-A-P. British Alliance Party. 112 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,720 Raffle tickets for their social club. 113 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,040 Wouldn't thought you'd fit their demograph. 114 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,840 -And why would that be? -[Kelly] On account of you being... 115 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,000 black, black, black, black and black. 116 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,440 That's not what they're about. 117 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,520 [Kelly] Compulsory repatriation, 118 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,320 a complete ban on immigration, and laws discriminating against gays and women. 119 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,880 -What else could they be about? -Whatever. 120 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,080 See ya. 121 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,800 [Micky] Jamie's doing his nut. Don't clamp him. 122 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,760 Bastards. 123 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,880 Err, we shouldn't've clamped him, Micky. 124 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,320 That's me, you and Manchester Clamping Solutions. 125 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,600 He won't pay up. You know what he's like. 126 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,640 Who gives a shit? 127 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,640 I do. 128 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,520 I put money into it, I've got a say. 129 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,960 No, you haven't. You're a silent partner. 130 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,200 Now shut the fuck up. 131 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,800 It'll kick off. 132 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,520 For fuck's sake, stop whining, will ya? 133 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,000 I'll take it off, all right. 134 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,960 Why do you always have to have a pop at each other? 135 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,680 Why can't you just get on? You're brothers, for fuck sake. 136 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,840 Nothing more than a biological accident, Micky. 137 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,200 If I hadn't swam faster 138 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:29,040 or Dad decided to have one off the wrist instead of impregnating Mum, 139 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,640 we wouldn't even be here talking. 140 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,880 Look, Jamie is a cunt. 141 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,760 A prize cunt who thinks and cares about no one other than himself. 142 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:37,920 Believe. 143 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,280 Fuck's sake! 144 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,200 [clang] 145 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,640 [Jamie] Amateurs. 146 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,120 They'll charge you more for destroying their property 147 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,560 and them clamps aren't cheap. 148 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,960 It's a scam. 149 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,000 Get yourself a phoney license, stick a few photocopied signs up. 150 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,360 You're wrong there, Jamie. 151 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,800 They're subcontracted and endorsed by Manchester Clamping Solutions 152 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,840 and are operating according to local by-laws 153 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,160 -and governmental legislations. -How do you know? 154 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,640 I heard it somewhere. 155 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,680 -Go back in the pub, I'll handle this. -You? 156 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,720 You shouldn't mess with them, I've seen them. 157 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,640 You've seen them? 158 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,760 -What do they look like? -About that big. 159 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,720 Chinese... Triads, hard fuckers. 160 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,600 Micky, do me a favour, will ya? 161 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,200 Look, this is too dangerous. We can't afford to lose you. 162 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,840 I'll handle it, go back in there. 163 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,800 You'll make Connor an orphan, 164 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,520 the poor kid will grow up not knowing his dad. 165 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,520 I'll talk about you, obviously, an keep your memory alive, but... 166 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,720 [yelling] Micky, will you fuck off? 167 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,440 [clamp clanging] 168 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,160 [Shane] Oi, the fuck you doing? 169 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,880 [Micky] It's all right, I'm on it. 170 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:49,960 That's my property. 171 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:51,960 You? 172 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,680 You said it belonged to a Chinese dwarf? 173 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,880 No, it's my new business. 174 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,840 It's all sorted now. No harm done. 175 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,560 [Shane] You're parked illegally, you've damaged a clamp. 176 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,520 That'll be 70 quid. 177 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600 In your dreams. 178 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,040 [Shane] Pay the fine, or I'll keep putting it on. 179 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,080 -And I'll keep cutting it off. -I'll pay it. 180 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,480 -Keep your fucking nose out. -[clamp clanging] 181 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,240 I won't tell you again. 182 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,600 -[Shane] Fuck do you think you are? -[Micky] Your brother, we're brothers! 183 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,920 The guy who's about to rip out your fucking lungs. 184 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,280 That's enough! 185 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:22,400 [Micky grunts] 186 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,720 [whispering] Oh, for fuck's sake. 187 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,920 [women whispering] 188 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,159 Guess who won the raffle? 189 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,080 -[Lillian] Fix. -[all] Heil Hitler. 190 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,360 What the fuck? 191 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,159 [Kelly laughs] 192 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,120 What've you won? 193 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,160 Dinner at the Meat and Two Veg restaurant. 194 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,440 In Burnley. 195 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,160 -Fucking Burnley? -Wow. 196 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,440 All home grown produce, British beef. 197 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,120 Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome, Jackson? 198 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,200 They're not brainwashing me. It's sport, not politics. 199 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,680 -They're decent people! -They said the same thing about Mengele. 200 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,400 "He's not too bad once you scratch the surface, 201 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,520 get over that whole genocide thing." 202 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,600 They just want us to look after ourselves. 203 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,640 Brits. 204 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,960 State the economy's in, charity begins at home. 205 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,080 We need to take care of our own before we can help anybody else. 206 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,240 [Mimi in distance] When did this happen? 207 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,840 -[Jamie yelling] -He'll be invading Poland next. 208 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,560 [Shane] How do you think? 209 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,240 Karen, get him some water. 210 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,560 What are you up to? 211 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,760 They're obliged by law to accept membership from all walks of life. 212 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,720 Black, Asian, gay, whatever... 213 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,400 and I want to see if they will. 214 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,520 If they genuinely accept me or they're paying lip service. 215 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,760 And what if they are? 216 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,800 Then I expose the two-faced Fascist bastards 217 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,680 for who they are and close 'em down. 218 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,240 -[Mimi] We almost called an ambulance. -[Shane] Alright? 219 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,480 -Do you want owt getting? -I bit me tongue. 220 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,440 -How could you do this to your own? -This wouldn't have happened 221 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,000 -if he hadn't clamped the van. -Jamie should've paid up. 222 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,560 What's it got to do with you, Hitler? 223 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,160 We're business partners. 224 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,480 Pft... Business partners. 225 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,720 [Mimi] Your brother's concussed and you're still tearing at each other. 226 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,560 What's it going to take for you to grow the fuck up? 227 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,680 I'm ashamed to call you family! 228 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,200 [Bobbi] I recognise those dulcet tones. 229 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,360 [room quiets down] 230 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,160 Robert? 231 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,720 You came, uncle Robert! 232 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,680 Bobbi, with an I. 233 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,600 Like Liza. 234 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,360 Minnelli, that is, not Tarbuck. [sniffs] 235 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,960 No kiss for your sis? 236 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:31,880 [silence] 237 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,040 Fuck me. 238 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,880 [Bobbi] I'm sorry about you and Paddy. 239 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,720 -You hated the fuckin' sight of him. -Well, true enough. 240 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,840 Micky traced me down via my agent, 241 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,600 said you'd been looking for me. 242 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,040 Said you'd been missing me. 243 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,520 I missed you too, you know. 244 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,040 Just one minute you were seeing that gobshite, 245 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,040 next minute you were up the duff, married, 246 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,920 then at the wrong end of the M62. 247 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,120 -Whirlwind romance. -Shotgun wedding. 248 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,120 I did try and keep in touch. 249 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:14,080 I did a few gigs here, years back. Gave you a knock, but you were never in. 250 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,720 [Bobbi muffled] Meems! 251 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:17,960 Sh! 252 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:18,880 [Bobbi] Meems! 253 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,440 Did write. 254 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,320 I just thought you were dropping a hint. 255 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,800 -So I took it. -You're my baby brother. 256 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,920 If only we had mobiles in them days, eh? E-mails. 257 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,040 Well, we're here now, aren't we? 258 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,880 Hepburn sisters, back together again at last. 259 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,400 I'll be Audrey, you can be the one with the voice like a man. 260 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,640 [chuckles] 261 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,000 -Robert, listen. I hate to say this but-- -Bobbi. 262 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,720 Nobody's called me Robert in an age. 263 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,840 -[chuckles] Bob-- -Bobbi. 264 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:49,800 -Bob. -Bi. 265 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,960 Bobbi, 266 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,320 it might be an idea to tone down the whole... 267 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,280 showbiz angle while you're here. 268 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,680 Just cut the camp shit. 269 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,840 People round here like the women to be women and the men to be men. 270 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,800 Don't we all! 271 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,960 -[Mimi sniggers] -I hear you. 272 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,280 -I hear you. -Good. 273 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,040 Suitcase is at ours. 274 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,120 [Mimi] No brother of mine's staying in a scabby B&B. 275 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,640 Micky's on the couch, you'll have his room. 276 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,720 -Did you change the sheets? -Yeah. 277 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,240 -Get rid of the wanky hankies? -Erm... 278 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,760 Thanks, Micky, love. That's very kind of you. 279 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,320 You're family. The only other uncles I've got 280 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,160 are either dead or in, erm... 281 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,640 Argentina! 282 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:35,160 -[Mimi] I need to get back to work. -How about I take my favourite nephew 283 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,880 for a proper drink, a real drink? C'mon. 284 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,720 [whispering] Two days max and he's out of here. Get that? 285 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:51,760 Shane. 286 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,000 You kept that fucking quiet. 287 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,440 [Shane] When I was a kid, 288 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,840 I thought he was the magician, not the assistant. 289 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,840 -What's the big deal? -He looks like a woman. 290 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,920 [Jamie] Mam's sung his praises for years. 291 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,560 -Why wouldn't she mention he was a tranny? -It obviously doesn't matter to her. 292 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,760 They were dead happy to see each other. 293 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,320 [Kelly] He's the only family she's got besides you lot. 294 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,600 Don't spoil it. 295 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,320 -What the fuck is that supposed to be? -[Patty] Transvestite. 296 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,360 A man who likes to eat, drink, 297 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,080 [whispering] and be Mary. 298 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,080 It takes balls to be a tranny. And a penis. 299 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,200 I should know. 300 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,400 [punter laughing] What big hands you've got! What big feet you've got! 301 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,760 -[woman] What a big cock you've got! -[laughing] 302 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,680 -Have I got cunt written on my forehead? -No, Mimi. 303 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,880 Then don't treat me like one and the same goes for my sist... 304 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:41,800 brother. 305 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,720 [people laugh] 306 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,520 Spread the word. 307 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,600 -Cheers. -Cheers. 308 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,000 -Eight pounds, please, guys. -Third cup replay we've lost on the trot. 309 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,160 We need to up the training regime. 310 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,040 Few less lagers and a few more five K runs. 311 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,120 -Ten K runs. -[Mark] We'll put a programme together. 312 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,640 Still time to finish the season with dignity. 313 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,400 -I like that, a bit of positivity. -A bit of delusion. 314 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,680 There you go. 315 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,880 [Mark] Eh, lads! 316 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,160 What do blondes say after sex? 317 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,480 -Thanks, guys. -[men laugh] 318 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,440 -We're off for a bit of scran. Coming? -We've got plans. 319 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,760 -Where are you off? -Chinky. 320 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,160 Prick! 321 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,080 It's a joke. Like the one you just laughed along with. 322 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,760 Come on, mate. He's just having some fun. 323 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,240 -It's just a word. -Like Paki. 324 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,520 Or nigger. 325 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,000 I piss myself laughing every time I hear it, eh, Jackson? 326 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,720 Rolling on the floor. Splitting my fuckin' sides. 327 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,720 [laughs] 328 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,640 [silence] 329 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,600 [door shuts] 330 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,200 Everyone knows he's in the wrong. Shane's a dickhead. 331 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,480 You're smarter. 332 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,000 Just shrug it off for the sake of the family. 333 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,480 -The bigger man walks away. -[Karen] You're right. 334 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,040 We know you're right. It's not like losing face. 335 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,520 It's another bit of hassle we could do without. 336 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,240 Please. 337 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,040 For me. 338 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:15,800 Okay, for you. 339 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,160 My little West End Wendy! 340 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,040 Now, I don't wanna frighten ya, 341 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,240 but you've got a show in a few days and you haven't got one fucking act. So... 342 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,200 Can I get everyone's attention, please? 343 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,560 Now, anyone with an artistic flair that they don't mind showing, 344 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,600 nothing pornographic, 345 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,480 can sign up to perform in Micky's Variety Show. 346 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,640 This... 347 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,600 is your chance to show us... 348 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,120 what you can do. 349 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,360 Oh, forgot to say! 350 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,960 Anyone who is participating, it's free ale all night. 351 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,360 [ruckus] 352 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,000 What the fuck you doing? I can't shell out for this. 353 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,280 You don't have to. 354 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,720 Charge on the door. 355 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,080 -You'll make your money back. -Mum, sort this out. 356 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,880 Oh, Mimi, isn't he gorgeous when he's riled? If I wasn't his auntie... 357 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,240 [muffled music] 358 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,160 You all right? 359 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,360 Why wouldn't I be? 360 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,360 You don't look like someone who's found their long-lost brother, 361 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,120 -the one you said you worshipped. -I'm made up to see him. 362 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,880 So made up, you want him out the house in 24 hours? 363 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,560 Drop it, eh? 364 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,840 Leave it, Micky! 365 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,680 Karen says she needs some vodka, crisps and nuts from the cellar. 366 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,720 Gullibility runs in the family. 367 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,360 [Mimi] Micky! 368 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,720 Micky! 369 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,560 Let me out! Bastard! 370 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,960 Just sort it! 371 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,200 He reckons it's about time me and you had a talk. 372 00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,240 And I think he's right. 373 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,280 [Bobbi sighs] 374 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,920 -All the wives take their turn. -Ah... 375 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,720 That is so considerate. 376 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,680 Thanks. 377 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,800 Otherwise, one person ends up doing the whole lot, every week. 378 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,560 Which wouldn't be right at all. 379 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,280 -[Avril] Oops. -For fuck's... 380 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,840 I do yours out of some misplaced sense of obligation. 381 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,640 The SS can do their own. 382 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,960 They also take turns to cook. 383 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,480 -Fuck right off! -It'll help me infiltrate the group! 384 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,760 You're a trainee teacher, not a member of MI-bleeding-5. 385 00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,960 -No way. -Please. 386 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,280 -No! -If I want a chance to bring them down... 387 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,680 And who put you in charge of social justice? 388 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,400 -Someone needs to make a stand. -And that's you? 389 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,920 Jackson, you can't even put a fucking shelf up! 390 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,680 They're coming for dinner tonight. 391 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,720 [door shuts] 392 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,360 [liquid pouring] 393 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,840 What are you fucking doing? 394 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,560 [Bobbi] It's the vodka, I'm pissing like shire a horse. 395 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,200 Well, I don't want to see your dangly bits! 396 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,360 Try standing up against the wall and doing it like a normal man! 397 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,280 [Bobbi] Normal? 398 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,840 And what the fuck is normal? 399 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,800 Certainly not you. 400 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,280 -You have no idea what it's like being me. -Oh, yeah? 401 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:40,120 -I also have facial hair and haemorrhoids. -How bad my life was when you pissed off! 402 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,600 At least you had a life! 403 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,920 All my life was spent coping with being your sister, 404 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,800 while you were swanning round being Quentin fuckin' Crisp. 405 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,480 I had to deal with the fallout! 406 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,920 Quentin fuckin' Crisp? I'm not a gay man. 407 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,360 I'm a woman, okay? Born with a cock. 408 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,240 Yeah... Definition of a woman with a cock: man. 409 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,280 -I feel like a woman inside! -Oh, yeah? 410 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,400 Well, I feel like bleedin' Pamela Anderson inside, 411 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,000 but not much chance of you seeing me in fuckin' Baywatch, is there? 412 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,800 -I'm a woman! -Cock! 413 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,200 -Woman! Woman! -Cock, cock, cock. 414 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,240 [Mimi grunts] 415 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,160 Fighting your battles for you, 416 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,440 defending you while you pranced round the streets in Ma's heels! 417 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,280 You were a self-indulgent, spoilt little bastard! 418 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,720 [yelling] You've got no idea what I went through, 419 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,600 the pain that I suffered 420 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,040 and all that time you were laughing at me, Mimi! 421 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,720 I was screaming for help. 422 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,080 I was begging for somebody to give me their hand 423 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,880 and all that time you were laughing at me, 424 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,000 taking the piss... 425 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,400 while I was drowning. 426 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,720 I was drowning. 427 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,760 Urgh! Your bollock's out. 428 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,600 [Mimi] It was like The Crying Game all over again, only in 3D. 429 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,920 Are you two okay now? 430 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,320 [Mimi] If I'd have known... 431 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,600 If we'd have talked, 432 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,320 your burden could've been lighter. 433 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,280 We could've gone on Trisha or that gobshite on Granada. 434 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,200 [spits] 435 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,600 [Mimi] Talked things through, 436 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,040 reached an understanding. 437 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,200 A resolution. 438 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,080 But from now on... 439 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,840 my casa, su casa. 440 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,240 -English, please. -It means her house is my house. 441 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,640 [Mimi] As long as you want to stay, you're welcome here. 442 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,440 Such a lot to catch up on. 443 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,720 Come here, love. 444 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,440 [kiss] 445 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,800 [Bobbi] And one more thing. 446 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,240 Jamie and Shane obviously aren't too comfortable having me around, so... 447 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,640 I might as well say this here. 448 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,720 We had a homo in the footie team and they were cool with him. 449 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,480 Apart from touching him during a tackle. Or bending down for the ball. 450 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,440 Or him kissing them if they scored. 451 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,960 And the showers. And having him on the team but... 452 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,560 [Bobbi] Erm... I've rehearsed this a million times 453 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,040 and I've never got it right, so, er... 454 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,680 forgive my, er, bluntness. 455 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,200 Robert Hepburn's days... 456 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,560 on earth are numbered. 457 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,280 -It's the AIDS, isn't it? -Oh... 458 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,320 [Mimi] It's God's judgement. You've been smitten. I fucking knew it! 459 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,920 -Oh, sweet Jesus, I could be next! -Mimi... 460 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,800 I told your dad more than once, 461 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,040 -it's not in God's plan. -Mimi, love... 462 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:34,080 If he'd had meant us to do it like that he'd've made it easier 463 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,200 -to get it in! -Mi-- 464 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,320 -[Mimi shouts] -[Bobbi] Mimi! 465 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,760 It's not fucking AIDS, okay? It's not AIDS! 466 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,240 I've been living as a woman for years. 467 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,760 -With a woman? -As. 468 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,400 Undergoing psychiatric evaluation, hormone therapy. 469 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,120 I'm waiting to get the nod. 470 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,400 Come on, I've always said that me John Thomas gets in the way. 471 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,360 -Well, pretty soon it won't. -John Thomas? 472 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,320 -Snip! Ooh! -[swooshing sound] 473 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,480 Oh... 474 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,040 -[knocking] -They're here! 475 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,160 -[soft music playing] -You're fucking kidding! 476 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,320 One word out of place and I will rip their heads off 477 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,680 -and shit down their necks. -[music stops] 478 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,440 [Jackson] All right? Come in. 479 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,440 You must be Avril. 480 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,200 I hope you like white. 481 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,160 I like most whites. 482 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,400 -[Jackson] Thanks for coming, mate. -Our pleasure. 483 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,080 -[door shuts] -Welcome. 484 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,440 -This is Ellen. -Hiya. 485 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,080 Jackson? Coats. 486 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,880 Thanks. 487 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,200 [Mark] Thanks, mate. 488 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,960 [Avril] Go on through. 489 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,280 Two G&T's, please, Micky. 490 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,120 The Scouse transvestite. Hardly convincing. 491 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,240 -Why's that? -The wrong shade of orange for a start. 492 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,160 [Mimi grunts] 493 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,280 [Frank grunts in pain] 494 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,240 Dina wants to audition for the talent night. 495 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,400 Hardly talent, even I can do that. 496 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,480 She's got a grip like a python. The punters call her the penis fly trap. 497 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,800 -The things she can't do with her libia... -Anyone can smoke a cigar. 498 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,400 What, like that? 499 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,880 [queef] 500 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,320 [Mimi] Admittedly, not. 501 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,480 No, no, but I'm going to fucking learn one day. 502 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,880 Right, Micky, get her third on the bill, 503 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,400 behind that deaf kid that did the yodelling... 504 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,800 [yodels] 505 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,720 Audience'll need perking up after that. 506 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,360 And, er, me and Bobbi'll be rehearsing a little special something too, won't we? 507 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,000 Mm-hm, sister act. 508 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,840 Shane's clamping anything with wheels. 509 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,120 I'm worried for my mobility. 510 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,120 [woman] They've only clamped the bloody pram! 511 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,200 [man] Bastards! 512 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,400 My punters are too scared to park. 513 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,040 [Libby] How are the acts going to get their gear in here? 514 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,200 Where are your tutors expected to park their cars? 515 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,640 [Micky sighs] 516 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,760 -What've you done to Shane? -Dunno. 517 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,960 -He's not answering his phone. -[Jamie] Well, maybe he's tied up. 518 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,680 -You've done something. -[door opens] 519 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,000 -Where is he? -[door shuts] 520 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,680 [yelling] Bastard! 521 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,400 Fucking kill you! 522 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,680 [racket] 523 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,120 -[Micky] Whoa! You said you'd back off! -What is going on? 524 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,200 I'm just showing Shane the inconvenience... 525 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,480 of being clamped! 526 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,200 [all shouting] 527 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,600 -Pack it in! -You said you'd walk! 528 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,360 You'd do best to remember who pays your wages. 529 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,280 Time for you to nail your colours. 530 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,040 -He's in on the business. -[Micky] Oh... 531 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,720 Silent partner. 532 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,680 You work for me or you work for him. 533 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,600 Not both. It's time to choose. 534 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,800 -Smells fantastic, don't you think, Ellen? -Mm. 535 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,840 It's an old family recipe. 536 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,880 Braised crocodile cheeks 537 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,880 in an apricot and prickly pear sauce. 538 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,040 A delicacy where my family come from. 539 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,960 Just pulling your leg. 540 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,200 Creole Chicken. 541 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,120 [Mark chuckles] 542 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,440 -Nice of you to invite us. -That's entirely down to Jackson. 543 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,000 I wouldn't normally piss on a member of the BAP if he were on fire. 544 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,000 [Mark] We've got a bad reputation. 545 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,520 Something we're working on. 546 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:41,880 How, exactly? 547 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,640 Well, we're opening doors. 548 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,720 If you're British born and bred, you're welcome. 549 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,600 [Avril] That's to fit in with a legal requirement. 550 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,640 You wouldn't do it if you didn't have to. 551 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:54,320 Eat. 552 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,760 She's right to be suspicious. Country's gone to the dogs. 553 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,000 Agreed? 554 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,720 We're all getting ready for that spring, summer, autumn and winter of discontent. 555 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,000 So your party isn't waging a war against race any more. 556 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,600 It's... a class war now. 557 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,560 The country's being run by a gang of public schoolboys 558 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,960 who don't know the meaning of doing without. 559 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,040 A millionaire boys' club, 560 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,560 who've got the temerity to tell us to tighten our belts 561 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,240 while they're going to their holiday homes in Barbados. 562 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,040 So it's equality you're after? 563 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:29,040 We're after British people being treated fairly. Put first. 564 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,240 We've got a march this Saturday. 565 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,280 Lefties and students are onto it. 566 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,240 Some contacts have told me they're going to meet us mob-handed. 567 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,960 You're cancelling, I hope? 568 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,720 We've got a democratic right to our opinion. 569 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,240 The march's going ahead. 570 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,400 They won't be able to chant their usual racist insults at us. 571 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,960 Not once they've clocked our poster boy. 572 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,600 -You up for it? -Deffo. 573 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,200 [Avril] You know as well as I do 574 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,120 it will turn into a riot and you'll be at the front of it. 575 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,080 It won't. 576 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,560 If you're lucky enough not to end up in the morgue, 577 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,800 -you'll lose your job. -That won't happen. 578 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:20,120 [shouting] Will you take your fucking head from up your arse 579 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,360 and wake up to what it is you're getting involved in, Jackson? 580 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,800 Anyone accuses me of going along with what that lunatic's preaching 581 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,280 and I remind them I was the one that leaked this. 582 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,360 -What is it? -A list... 583 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,360 of every BAP member registered to vote in the UK. 584 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,120 Where d'you get it? 585 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,000 I get this to the papers and I save a few heads being kicked. 586 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,000 He'll know it's you. 587 00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:57,960 Not me. 588 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,840 I'll ask Chesney to do it. 589 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,760 Stop worrying. 590 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,600 Come here. 591 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,920 I've got it covered. 592 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,160 [people cheering in distance] 593 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,600 You nervous, Michael? You've every fucking right to be. 594 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,760 These are your two choices. 595 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,240 It's all down to you. 596 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,160 And over to the lovely Roberta for that last-minute reminder. 597 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,080 [Bobbi] Thank you. 598 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,920 -[catcalling] -Eh, stop it, cheeky! 599 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,640 -[canned laughter] -OK, choose Jamie 600 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,040 and you condemn Shane and Kelly to a life on the outside, 601 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,840 with absolutely no back-up whatsoever from any Maguire. 602 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:35,960 Within weeks 603 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,400 they'll be sleeping rough, forced to sell what little they do have, 604 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,280 in order to survive! [giggles] 605 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,920 -And choice B, please, Roberta. -Oh! 606 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,360 Choice B, Shane. 607 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,000 By choosing him, 608 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,760 you'll essentially be dismantling the family business, 609 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,560 so you and Shane will not be able to work for the family, 610 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,600 therefore rendering the family business, by definition, redundant! 611 00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,760 -[Bobbi giggles] -Do remember, though, Michael, 612 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,760 choice B carries the hidden bonus of a return for your ma 613 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,680 -[shouting] to the Holy Land! -[applauses] 614 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,960 That's right, Mum will get an all-expenses paid, 615 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,880 one-way trip all the way back 616 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,120 to the banks of the Mersey! 617 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,600 Michael, it's time to... 618 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,400 [male voice] Make your choice! 619 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,680 -[Bobbi] Choose! Choose! Choose! -[Mimi] Choose! Choose! Choose! 620 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,320 [Mimi in distorted voice] Choose! 621 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,240 [echoed voice] Choose! Choose! Choose! 622 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,800 -Choose! Choose! Choose! -Choose! Choose! Choose! 623 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:31,800 Choose! Choose! 624 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,360 [Micky cries] 625 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,200 [gasps] 626 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,280 -It's time, Micky. -We need a decision. 627 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,040 -Not yet. -Do it now. 628 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,680 -I can't! -You're going to have to. 629 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:56,600 I need more time. 630 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,560 -You haven't got it. -But I need an extension. 631 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,720 Look, there's too much to consider at such short notice. 632 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,640 You know me. It takes me half an hour to decide which side of bed to get out of! 633 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,760 There's only one side you can get out, you daft twat. 634 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,840 -Your bed's against a wall. -It was a metaphor! 635 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,480 Cornflakes, Weetabix, Coco Pops. 636 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,320 Black socks, white socks, sports socks, 637 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,760 boxers, Y-fronts, G-string! 638 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,040 There's too many decisions to make as it is! 639 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,440 [Karen] Micky, what colour? 640 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,720 How the fuck should I know, you s...! 641 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,160 Sorry, Karen. 642 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,040 Two soft whites, please. 643 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,040 [Patty] Is it true, then? You're just waiting for the snip? 644 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,880 Jungle drums been banging, have they? 645 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,920 What do you do with it while you're waiting? 646 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,800 I mean, where do you pour it? 647 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,480 Well... 648 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,000 Let me get the drinks in 649 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,720 and then I'll tell you all you need to know. 650 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,160 Mimi, love, can I get a G&T 651 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,160 and whatever my new best mates are having? 652 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,040 These are on me, love. 653 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,680 Aw. 654 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,960 You know, I was always the one with the talent. And the looks. 655 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,400 People used to say to me I was more of a woman 656 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,040 than she could ever be. 657 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,960 -[laughing] -They did! No, they did! 658 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,120 Spag bol all right for you, Bobbi? 659 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,480 You know me. Love a bit of spick. 660 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,000 -Are my slacks ready yet, Meems? -[Mimi] Oh, upstairs. 661 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,560 I'll just give them a quick once-over with the iron. 662 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,000 [Bobbi] We're not so different. 663 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,720 -No? -No. 664 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,040 Apart from you being a two-faced shit who slag off her behind her back? 665 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,920 -It's grown teeth. -She's me mum. 666 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:46,840 She's my sister. 667 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,840 -I'll tell her. -No, you won't. 668 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,080 You know as well as I do, 669 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,920 if you let her know that I really think she's a fat, ugly, 670 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,280 embarrassing waste of space, it'd break her heart. 671 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,240 Don't. 672 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:00,320 Leaving me alone in Liverpool was the best favour she ever did. 673 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,240 The only reason I'm here is 'cos I've nowhere else to go. 674 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,480 Are you going to tell her that as well? 675 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,160 No. 676 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,880 You haven't got the balls, Micky. 677 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,520 In a few weeks you can have mine. 678 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,480 -I'll tell her. -Meems! 679 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,760 Micky's got something he'd like to say. 680 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,760 No, I was just saying 681 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,760 I'm really looking forward to your duet with uncle Robert. 682 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:26,960 Steal the show. 683 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,360 -It's Bobbi. -It's fucking Robert. 684 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,520 All right, Frank? 685 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,200 [rock music playing] 686 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,160 I'm so high, I don't wanna come down, Jimi. 687 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,160 See you on the flip side. 688 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,840 [audience cheers] 689 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,520 Wanker. 690 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,680 Was hoping you'd be in. 691 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,000 Get in the car. 692 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,080 Some fucker robbed the membership list. 693 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,080 We've got a lot of support up on high, 694 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,800 but people'll be terrified to back us if this gets out. 695 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:32,720 If it gets out? 696 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,160 I always keep this memory stick on me. 697 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,880 Mate of mine's a journo at the paper that got contacted. 698 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,920 He dialled 1471, got the number, 699 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,520 we did a bit of research. 700 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:48,760 Found out who it was. 701 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,520 -Go on. -That little Paki bastard you know. 702 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,040 Chesney? 703 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,240 Listen... 704 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,000 Ches isn't politically minded, not in that sense. 705 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,120 He went through my stuff while we played footy. 706 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,320 So what will you do, give him a hiding? 707 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,800 Gonna make an example of him. 708 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,679 What do you mean, an example? 709 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,719 A couple of the lads are on their way over, tooled up. 710 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,800 -We're gonna have a few cocktails. -Cocktails? 711 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,360 Always have a few drinks at a barbie, don't you? 712 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,320 [engine revs] 713 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,719 -Mimi, same again. -Yeah, OK. 714 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,280 It can't have been easy 715 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,639 growing up knowing what you knew. 716 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:34,960 That you were trapped. 717 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,239 I can't imagine what that must feel like. 718 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,280 I can. 719 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,960 [Bobbi] Well, everyone's got their burden. 720 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,440 -How come it's taken this long? -Having his cock cut off? 721 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:49,239 [Bobbi] Didn't have the confidence, or the backing of me family either. 722 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,480 To be fair... 723 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,600 it can't have been easy news for your mother and father to absorb. 724 00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:55,800 [Lillian] When Rodney said he was a philatelist, 725 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,160 I stayed in bed for a month. 726 00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:01,560 You expect that from the older generation. But I expected a little bit of support... 727 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,960 was from my own sister. 728 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,560 And it never came. 729 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,720 I tried to end it all. 730 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,520 A scream for help that was never answered. 731 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,200 Abandoned at 16, mum and dad dead. 732 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,960 With the burden of a penis you never wanted. 733 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,440 When I had my appendix out, they gave me it in a jar. 734 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,920 -Are you thinking-- -No. 735 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,920 Here you go, girls. Run off my feet here. 736 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,400 -Everything all right? -Fine. 737 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,120 [Bobbi] We need to get some bread rolls, mayo, cans of tuna, cans of ham. 738 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,720 [Avril] We can rustle up a decent buffet between us. 739 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,480 When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. 740 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,640 I'll get a few bob out of petty cash. 741 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,600 -Will you go for it? -What, in these heels? 742 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,920 -Well, I'd rather have ham. -I'll put cheese on a bit... 743 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:03,560 [Chesney] Bastards! 744 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:04,600 Come here! 745 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,880 [kids shouting] 746 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,360 -I know your dad! -Yeah? Well, I fuckin' don't! 747 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,800 [kid] Dickhead. 748 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:12,840 Least we know he's in. 749 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,520 Soon as the lads arrive, we're on. 750 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,240 Time for you to prove yourself. 751 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,720 We're shaping history, Jackson. 752 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:19,920 You should be proud. 753 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,240 It'll be fine, the show. It's gonna be great, I can feel it. 754 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,200 You reckon? 755 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,120 The whole estate's buzzing. One to remember. 756 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,600 Proud of you. 757 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:35,520 Yeah? 758 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,320 Well, not everyone could organise a night like this. 759 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,040 Takes a lot of dedication and skill. 760 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,000 And don't forget, 761 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,880 there's a little of Bobbi's DNA running through them veins. 762 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,000 [door opens] 763 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,880 -[Shane] Decision time. -Time to make your choice. 764 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,000 I can't, I need a slash! 765 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,720 Straight in, straight out. 766 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,080 We've got plans to make. 767 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,240 [Jamie] We've got plans to make. 768 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,640 [urinating] 769 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,400 [thud] 770 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,120 [Bobbi] We need bread rolls. 771 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,520 -[Mimi] Will you go for it? -[Bobbi] In these heels? 772 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,000 You can work this to your advantage, soft arse. 773 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,840 All you've ever done is give to those... bastards, 774 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,960 and what have they given you in return? Their respect? 775 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,840 -Their love? -Fuck off, they love me. 776 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,720 They've got a fucked-up way of showing it. 777 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,960 But it's hardly surprising with the parenting that you've had. 778 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:58,880 Fifty-fifty. 779 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:01,840 Come on. 780 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:02,920 Come away with me. 781 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,360 Sun all year round, sandy beaches 782 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,640 and all the cock you could handle. Come on. 783 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:16,800 Jamie! 784 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,720 Shane! 785 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,840 They're gonna shit on you for the rest of your life if you let them. 786 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:30,600 Bang on time. 787 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,840 You know the drill, boys. 788 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,520 Soon as it's alight, 789 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,800 chuck the can into the flames and walk. 790 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,040 No. 791 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,520 Everything I've worked for, 792 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,880 everything I've built up over the past ten years 793 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,440 has been fucked over by that little bastard, 794 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:04,400 and he's gonna pay. 795 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,440 Get your bala on. 796 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,600 Mark, Mark, Mark, please! I'll do anything. 797 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,360 [Mark yells] 798 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,840 Stand up for your rights. That's all I'm asking! 799 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,440 [Jackson] Get out! Everyone out! Get out! 800 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,920 -Quick! -[Avril] What's going on? 801 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:33,920 [Avril screams] 802 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,880 [Mark] Piss off, love. [grunts] 803 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,640 [Chesney] The fuck? [screams] 804 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,040 [rock music playing] 805 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,280 -I've got your back, Jimi! -Cheers, Frank. 806 00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,800 Bastard! 807 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,080 [old woman] Fuck off! 808 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,080 [screaming] 809 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,920 It was me who copied your membership list. 810 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,440 If I see you again, or have any trouble from you, 811 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,520 it'll get to the national press. 812 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,640 -You got that? -Yeah... 813 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:25,680 Good. 814 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:33,960 And this is for Ches. 815 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,640 You robbed the takings from your own sister? 816 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,320 Oh, what can I say? 817 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,880 I'm sorry. 818 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,200 [Mimi] I'm still trying to get my head round this. 819 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,640 From your own flesh and blood? 820 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,560 Oh, cut the bullshit, please, will ya, girl? 821 00:40:58,640 --> 00:40:59,920 Flesh and blood? 822 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,720 We never even fucking liked each other. 823 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,880 We misunderstood each other. 824 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,120 We were young, immature. 825 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,000 Mimi, can I just set the record straight here? 826 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,200 You've said often enough I was never the brother that you wanted. 827 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,880 Funny thing is... 828 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,280 you were never the fucking sister I wanted. 829 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,360 -Watch your fucking mouth. -Think I'm frightened of you? 830 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,920 You think 'cos I dress like this, I can't handle myself? 831 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,360 Back the fuck off, pretty boy. 832 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,400 Leave it, Jamie. 833 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,600 Your ma used to be embarrassed of me. 834 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,160 Just like me when I'd see her waddling down the street 835 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,800 with her fucking bubble perm and her fucking shell suits. 836 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,040 More of a woman than you'll ever be, though. 837 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:43,240 That's debatable. 838 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,520 There wasn't one ounce of femininity about you when we were being dragged up. 839 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,320 When I got up in the morning, 840 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,000 it was to get the house ready and you to school. 841 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,720 Then I nursed my ma till she died, 842 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,480 then I helped my dad deal with the grief. 843 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,760 When was I supposed to find time to paint my nails and do my hair? 844 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,480 [Bobbi] Oh, the trials of St Mimi. 845 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,840 Be careful, the stigmata will start playing up. 846 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:10,880 Watch your mouth! 847 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,040 [Bobbi] If you want fucking knocking out by a pre-op, you just go for it. 848 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,080 Leave us. 849 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,640 -[door shuts] -What will it cost 850 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,520 to go from pole to hole? 851 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,640 You mean to complete me dream? 852 00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:41,240 Give me the life I should have had? 853 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,080 Give me the start I should have had? 854 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:50,440 Priceless. 855 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:01,680 Bye, Bobbi. 856 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,920 You let Bobbi go? 857 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,600 With the cash? Why? 858 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,720 Cos he's me brother. 859 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,360 Sort of. And that's what you do. 860 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,320 And any more talk of choosing sides, 861 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,560 and Bobbi won't be the only one getting his cock cut off. 862 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:33,280 Comprende? 863 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,520 -She might have a point. -Yeah. 864 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,200 But you're fucking barred. 865 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,000 [chatter] 866 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,440 Listen, listen. 867 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,080 Right, if anything goes wrong, improvise, yeah? 868 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,400 The audience'll be pissed anyway. 869 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,680 Let's get that royal seal of approval! 870 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,960 -[all cheer] -[Mimi] Micky! 871 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,400 -And remember, there's no "I" in showbiz. -Yeah, there is. 872 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,560 [silence] 873 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,880 -Ready? Go break your legs! -[all scream excitedly] 874 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,560 [cheers and applause] 875 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:23,800 [tense music] 876 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,320 [drum roll] 877 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,400 -[grunts in pain] -[audience gasps] 878 00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,640 [balloons popping] 879 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,480 Someone get that pin off her, for fuck's sake. 880 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,440 [audience gasp] 881 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,000 [applause] 882 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,520 [music coming from inside] 883 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,000 ["It Takes Two" playing] 884 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,280 [Mimi] ♪ Looking for a special treat ♪ 885 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:16,080 [Mimi] ♪ Yeah, one can take a walk In the moonlight ♪ 886 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,520 ♪ Thinking that it's really nice ♪ 887 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,040 ♪ Oh, but two walking hand in hand ♪ 888 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,320 ♪ It's like adding Just a pinch of s... ♪ 889 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,680 [Mimi] ♪ Oh, it takes two, baby ♪ 890 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,680 ♪ It takes two, baby ♪ 891 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,080 ♪ Me and you ♪ 892 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,560 [Mimi] Face facts. 893 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,120 No family's perfect. 894 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,280 Might appear to be on the surface, 895 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,000 but open it up and you find all the shit 896 00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,880 no one wants to acknowledge even exists. 897 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,080 You've got to take your head out of the sand in the end. 898 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,960 All families are fucked. 899 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,520 Ignore that advice at your peril. 900 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,040 [Libby] Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? 901 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,240 Jamie! 902 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,080 -You're losing Libby. -[Libby] We sit on the bench 903 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,760 outside his house and talk, sometimes for hours. 904 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,440 Talking about him turned your nipples so hard, you could have my eyes out. 905 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:16,480 Licky-lick equals win-win. 906 00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,600 Ravage me with your tongue, you dirty savage! Oh! 907 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,800 Leave tonight. Don't ever come back. 908 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,040 [Libby] I don't want to marry you. 909 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,600 [screams] 68242

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