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1
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-[tapping]
-[intro music]
2
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,240
Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all
about knowing fuck all about owt,
3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,440
needs to watch their back.
[cries out]
4
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,040
So you've had your Labour,
reclassifying skunk,
5
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,320
sending prices sky high,
6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,960
literally, literally taking the grass
from its own roots.
7
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,040
And now you've got your con-dem-nation,
8
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,440
Liberals noshing Tories
like altar boys picking dimps up.
9
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,280
Have we had
a national fucking stroke or what?
10
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,280
Is revolution a word or was it never?
11
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,680
Anybody watching needs to know
12
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,960
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
13
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,440
Well, for fuck's sake,
we live in Manchester
14
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,200
and they charge us for water!
15
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:53,000
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found,
16
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,720
this green and pleasant land
in ancient times...
17
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,320
yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!
18
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,600
It's not theirs any more.
19
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,880
-This is our England now.
-[cheering]
20
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Party!
21
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,360
[intro music fades away]
22
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,760
[Mimi] My family's everything to me.
23
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,280
They are me.
24
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,800
I made them.
25
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,760
-Made them strong and resilient.
-[voices coming from TV]
26
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,440
[Mimi] It's a mother's duty to prepare
kids for the harsh realities of life.
27
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,960
I mean, it's not easy, is it?
28
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,320
Taught them from day one,
it's family first.
29
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I'll stick this up your fucking arse.
30
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,880
[Mimi] To look out for each other,
watch each other's backs.
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'Cos, as we all know,
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blood's thicker than water.
33
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,280
I doubt you'd find it.
[sighs]
34
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,880
You missed every other fucking hole.
35
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,200
[Mimi] And you know what?
They're a credit to me.
36
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,920
-Shut up, Micky!
-Mum!
37
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,640
Fuck's sake!
38
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,680
Shouldn't have got in the way, then.
39
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,280
[Jamie] Shift, soft arse!
40
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,720
[Mimi] Family is everything.
41
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,160
Family's the be-all and end-all.
42
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,000
-The start and the finish.
-[shattering]
43
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,880
Family is king.
44
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Even when the King's
long since departed,
45
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family lives on.
46
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,520
And the hard fist
that keeps you in line.
47
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,560
[clacking]
48
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,360
I've had to park there.
49
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,000
Sort it out with the brewery.
I ain't got cash on me.
50
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,440
[Jamie] Been fine to park here for years.
Who's clamped it?
51
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,720
[Lillian] You should get a tit roll
without your car being impounded.
52
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:32,800
[Jamie sighs]
53
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,560
[Jackson] You tried to put me in hospital!
You saw it, Mark.
54
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,880
Went in heavier than a prop forward.
55
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,240
It's footy, not rugby.
56
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,680
Stop whining, you losers.
57
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,400
[mocking noises]
58
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,120
Defend yourself.
Should've given the bastard a slap.
59
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,960
-It's a game.
-A game with rules.
60
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,640
Forget them and you're fucked.
We're all fucked.
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00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,200
Get real, will you, Jackson?
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00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,120
The world's full of no marks like him,
waiting to take what's yours.
63
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,120
Don't get me wrong. Try it again
in the replay and I'll have you.
64
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,040
You reckon?
65
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,360
Anyone can make a mistake,
but do it again and I'll eat you alive.
66
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,080
-[teasing noises]
-More like it.
67
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,040
You know it.
68
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,280
-A scoop before you head off?
-Too right. Ches!
69
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,120
Nah, mate, got an early start.
70
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,520
[Chesney] Jackson!
Better luck next time, lad.
71
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,040
[Mark] Tsk...
72
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,000
-Surprised you asked him.
-Why?
73
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,440
His lot don't drink, do they?
74
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,320
Well, at least there's one name.
I think it's one name.
75
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,440
Conchita Maria Teresa
Bonnita Ricardo Martinez.
76
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,960
No, that's me.
77
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Wanted to get the ball rolling.
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00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,040
[Mimi] Weren't you in a course
on wiping babies arses?
79
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,120
Doing drama, contemporary dance
and needlecraft now.
80
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,880
Needlecraft?
81
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,720
Got to put a variety show on.
82
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,040
The best act
gets to perform in front of a Royal.
83
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,240
So long as it's not Edward,
or that ginger one.
84
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,440
Or Charles. Or Willy.
The one with the teeth and the horses.
85
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,400
Or the Greek one or the other ginger one.
86
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,520
I just want to win it.
87
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,160
All that lot think I'm a right retard.
88
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,959
The Student's Union thought I was there
for mental health awareness week.
89
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,480
Am I the only one serving here?
90
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,560
[Mimi and Karen] Yeah.
91
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,440
Cheeky fuckers. You got showbiz
running through your veins.
92
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,640
[Karen] Got a lot running through
his veins, but showbiz?
93
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,800
[Mimi] My brother, his uncle Robert,
94
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,600
toured the clubs as a magician,
and worked the liners too.
95
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,280
-Uncle Bobbi, yeah.
-Robert.
96
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,560
I remember him saying
cruising was his life.
97
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,720
-In the magic ring and all that.
-Circle.
98
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,000
Why I've never met him?
99
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,840
[Mimi] I got married, moved away
and he had his career... Showbiz pals.
100
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,680
I loved the bones of him,
but we moved in different worlds.
101
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,680
He was globe-trotting
and I was rearing a family.
102
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,240
-You should get in touch.
-I tried!
103
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,600
[Mimi] With ya now, love.
104
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,760
[Micky laughs] Crack.
105
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,880
[indistinct chatter]
106
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,800
Jesus, what charity is it this time?
107
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:13,840
You serious?
108
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BAP.
109
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-Tit?
-BAP.
110
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,880
-Tit?
-BAP.
111
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,920
B-A-P. British Alliance Party.
112
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,720
Raffle tickets for their social club.
113
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,040
Wouldn't thought
you'd fit their demograph.
114
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,840
-And why would that be?
-[Kelly] On account of you being...
115
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,000
black, black, black, black and black.
116
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,440
That's not what they're about.
117
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,520
[Kelly] Compulsory repatriation,
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00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,320
a complete ban on immigration, and laws
discriminating against gays and women.
119
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,880
-What else could they be about?
-Whatever.
120
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,080
See ya.
121
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,800
[Micky] Jamie's doing his nut.
Don't clamp him.
122
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,760
Bastards.
123
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,880
Err, we shouldn't've clamped him, Micky.
124
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,320
That's me, you
and Manchester Clamping Solutions.
125
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,600
He won't pay up. You know what he's like.
126
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,640
Who gives a shit?
127
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,640
I do.
128
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,520
I put money into it, I've got a say.
129
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,960
No, you haven't. You're a silent partner.
130
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,200
Now shut the fuck up.
131
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,800
It'll kick off.
132
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,520
For fuck's sake, stop whining, will ya?
133
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,000
I'll take it off, all right.
134
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,960
Why do you always have to have
a pop at each other?
135
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,680
Why can't you just get on?
You're brothers, for fuck sake.
136
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,840
Nothing more
than a biological accident, Micky.
137
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,200
If I hadn't swam faster
138
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:29,040
or Dad decided to have one off the wrist
instead of impregnating Mum,
139
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,640
we wouldn't even be here talking.
140
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,880
Look, Jamie is a cunt.
141
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,760
A prize cunt who thinks and cares
about no one other than himself.
142
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Believe.
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00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,280
Fuck's sake!
144
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,200
[clang]
145
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,640
[Jamie] Amateurs.
146
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,120
They'll charge you more
for destroying their property
147
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,560
and them clamps aren't cheap.
148
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,960
It's a scam.
149
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,000
Get yourself a phoney license,
stick a few photocopied signs up.
150
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,360
You're wrong there, Jamie.
151
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,800
They're subcontracted and endorsed
by Manchester Clamping Solutions
152
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,840
and are operating
according to local by-laws
153
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,160
-and governmental legislations.
-How do you know?
154
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,640
I heard it somewhere.
155
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,680
-Go back in the pub, I'll handle this.
-You?
156
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,720
You shouldn't mess with them,
I've seen them.
157
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,640
You've seen them?
158
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,760
-What do they look like?
-About that big.
159
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,720
Chinese... Triads, hard fuckers.
160
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,600
Micky, do me a favour, will ya?
161
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,200
Look, this is too dangerous.
We can't afford to lose you.
162
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,840
I'll handle it, go back in there.
163
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,800
You'll make Connor an orphan,
164
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,520
the poor kid will grow up
not knowing his dad.
165
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,520
I'll talk about you, obviously,
an keep your memory alive, but...
166
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,720
[yelling] Micky, will you fuck off?
167
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,440
[clamp clanging]
168
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,160
[Shane] Oi, the fuck you doing?
169
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,880
[Micky] It's all right, I'm on it.
170
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:49,960
That's my property.
171
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You?
172
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,680
You said it belonged to a Chinese dwarf?
173
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,880
No, it's my new business.
174
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,840
It's all sorted now. No harm done.
175
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,560
[Shane] You're parked illegally,
you've damaged a clamp.
176
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,520
That'll be 70 quid.
177
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600
In your dreams.
178
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,040
[Shane] Pay the fine,
or I'll keep putting it on.
179
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,080
-And I'll keep cutting it off.
-I'll pay it.
180
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,480
-Keep your fucking nose out.
-[clamp clanging]
181
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I won't tell you again.
182
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,600
-[Shane] Fuck do you think you are?
-[Micky] Your brother, we're brothers!
183
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,920
The guy who's about to rip out
your fucking lungs.
184
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,280
That's enough!
185
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:22,400
[Micky grunts]
186
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,720
[whispering] Oh, for fuck's sake.
187
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,920
[women whispering]
188
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,159
Guess who won the raffle?
189
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,080
-[Lillian] Fix.
-[all] Heil Hitler.
190
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,360
What the fuck?
191
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,159
[Kelly laughs]
192
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,120
What've you won?
193
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,160
Dinner at the Meat and Two Veg restaurant.
194
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,440
In Burnley.
195
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,160
-Fucking Burnley?
-Wow.
196
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,440
All home grown produce, British beef.
197
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,120
Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome, Jackson?
198
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,200
They're not brainwashing me.
It's sport, not politics.
199
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,680
-They're decent people!
-They said the same thing about Mengele.
200
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,400
"He's not too bad
once you scratch the surface,
201
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,520
get over that whole genocide thing."
202
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,600
They just want us to look after ourselves.
203
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,640
Brits.
204
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,960
State the economy's in,
charity begins at home.
205
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,080
We need to take care of our own
before we can help anybody else.
206
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,240
[Mimi in distance] When did this happen?
207
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,840
-[Jamie yelling]
-He'll be invading Poland next.
208
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,560
[Shane] How do you think?
209
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,240
Karen, get him some water.
210
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,560
What are you up to?
211
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,760
They're obliged by law to accept
membership from all walks of life.
212
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,720
Black, Asian, gay, whatever...
213
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,400
and I want to see if they will.
214
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,520
If they genuinely accept me
or they're paying lip service.
215
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,760
And what if they are?
216
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,800
Then I expose
the two-faced Fascist bastards
217
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,680
for who they are and close 'em down.
218
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,240
-[Mimi] We almost called an ambulance.
-[Shane] Alright?
219
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,480
-Do you want owt getting?
-I bit me tongue.
220
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,440
-How could you do this to your own?
-This wouldn't have happened
221
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,000
-if he hadn't clamped the van.
-Jamie should've paid up.
222
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,560
What's it got to do with you, Hitler?
223
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,160
We're business partners.
224
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,480
Pft... Business partners.
225
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,720
[Mimi] Your brother's concussed
and you're still tearing at each other.
226
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,560
What's it going to take for you
to grow the fuck up?
227
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,680
I'm ashamed to call you family!
228
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,200
[Bobbi] I recognise those dulcet tones.
229
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,360
[room quiets down]
230
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,160
Robert?
231
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,720
You came, uncle Robert!
232
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,680
Bobbi, with an I.
233
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,600
Like Liza.
234
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,360
Minnelli, that is, not Tarbuck.
[sniffs]
235
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,960
No kiss for your sis?
236
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:31,880
[silence]
237
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,040
Fuck me.
238
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,880
[Bobbi] I'm sorry about you and Paddy.
239
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,720
-You hated the fuckin' sight of him.
-Well, true enough.
240
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,840
Micky traced me down via my agent,
241
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,600
said you'd been looking for me.
242
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,040
Said you'd been missing me.
243
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,520
I missed you too, you know.
244
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,040
Just one minute
you were seeing that gobshite,
245
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,040
next minute you were up the duff, married,
246
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,920
then at the wrong end of the M62.
247
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,120
-Whirlwind romance.
-Shotgun wedding.
248
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,120
I did try and keep in touch.
249
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:14,080
I did a few gigs here, years back.
Gave you a knock, but you were never in.
250
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,720
[Bobbi muffled] Meems!
251
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:17,960
Sh!
252
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:18,880
[Bobbi] Meems!
253
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,440
Did write.
254
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,320
I just thought you were dropping a hint.
255
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,800
-So I took it.
-You're my baby brother.
256
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,920
If only we had mobiles
in them days, eh? E-mails.
257
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,040
Well, we're here now, aren't we?
258
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,880
Hepburn sisters,
back together again at last.
259
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,400
I'll be Audrey, you can be the one
with the voice like a man.
260
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,640
[chuckles]
261
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,000
-Robert, listen. I hate to say this but--
-Bobbi.
262
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,720
Nobody's called me Robert in an age.
263
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,840
-[chuckles] Bob--
-Bobbi.
264
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:49,800
-Bob.
-Bi.
265
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,960
Bobbi,
266
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,320
it might be an idea
to tone down the whole...
267
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,280
showbiz angle while you're here.
268
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,680
Just cut the camp shit.
269
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,840
People round here like the women
to be women and the men to be men.
270
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,800
Don't we all!
271
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,960
-[Mimi sniggers]
-I hear you.
272
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,280
-I hear you.
-Good.
273
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,040
Suitcase is at ours.
274
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,120
[Mimi] No brother of mine's
staying in a scabby B&B.
275
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,640
Micky's on the couch,
you'll have his room.
276
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,720
-Did you change the sheets?
-Yeah.
277
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,240
-Get rid of the wanky hankies?
-Erm...
278
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,760
Thanks, Micky, love.
That's very kind of you.
279
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,320
You're family.
The only other uncles I've got
280
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,160
are either dead or in, erm...
281
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,640
Argentina!
282
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:35,160
-[Mimi] I need to get back to work.
-How about I take my favourite nephew
283
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,880
for a proper drink, a real drink? C'mon.
284
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,720
[whispering] Two days max
and he's out of here. Get that?
285
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:51,760
Shane.
286
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,000
You kept that fucking quiet.
287
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,440
[Shane] When I was a kid,
288
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,840
I thought he was the magician,
not the assistant.
289
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,840
-What's the big deal?
-He looks like a woman.
290
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,920
[Jamie] Mam's sung his praises for years.
291
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,560
-Why wouldn't she mention he was a tranny?
-It obviously doesn't matter to her.
292
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,760
They were dead happy to see each other.
293
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,320
[Kelly] He's the only family
she's got besides you lot.
294
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,600
Don't spoil it.
295
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,320
-What the fuck is that supposed to be?
-[Patty] Transvestite.
296
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,360
A man who likes to eat, drink,
297
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,080
[whispering] and be Mary.
298
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,080
It takes balls to be a tranny.
And a penis.
299
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,200
I should know.
300
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,400
[punter laughing] What big hands
you've got! What big feet you've got!
301
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,760
-[woman] What a big cock you've got!
-[laughing]
302
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,680
-Have I got cunt written on my forehead?
-No, Mimi.
303
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,880
Then don't treat me like one
and the same goes for my sist...
304
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:41,800
brother.
305
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,720
[people laugh]
306
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,520
Spread the word.
307
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,600
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
308
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,000
-Eight pounds, please, guys.
-Third cup replay we've lost on the trot.
309
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,160
We need to up the training regime.
310
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,040
Few less lagers
and a few more five K runs.
311
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,120
-Ten K runs.
-[Mark] We'll put a programme together.
312
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,640
Still time to finish
the season with dignity.
313
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,400
-I like that, a bit of positivity.
-A bit of delusion.
314
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,680
There you go.
315
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,880
[Mark] Eh, lads!
316
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,160
What do blondes say after sex?
317
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,480
-Thanks, guys.
-[men laugh]
318
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,440
-We're off for a bit of scran. Coming?
-We've got plans.
319
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,760
-Where are you off?
-Chinky.
320
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,160
Prick!
321
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,080
It's a joke.
Like the one you just laughed along with.
322
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,760
Come on, mate. He's just having some fun.
323
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,240
-It's just a word.
-Like Paki.
324
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,520
Or nigger.
325
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,000
I piss myself laughing every time
I hear it, eh, Jackson?
326
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,720
Rolling on the floor.
Splitting my fuckin' sides.
327
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,720
[laughs]
328
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,640
[silence]
329
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,600
[door shuts]
330
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,200
Everyone knows he's in the wrong.
Shane's a dickhead.
331
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,480
You're smarter.
332
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,000
Just shrug it off
for the sake of the family.
333
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,480
-The bigger man walks away.
-[Karen] You're right.
334
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,040
We know you're right.
It's not like losing face.
335
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,520
It's another bit of hassle
we could do without.
336
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,240
Please.
337
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,040
For me.
338
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:15,800
Okay, for you.
339
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,160
My little West End Wendy!
340
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,040
Now, I don't wanna frighten ya,
341
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,240
but you've got a show in a few days
and you haven't got one fucking act. So...
342
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,200
Can I get everyone's attention, please?
343
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,560
Now, anyone with an artistic flair
that they don't mind showing,
344
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,600
nothing pornographic,
345
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,480
can sign up to perform
in Micky's Variety Show.
346
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,640
This...
347
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,600
is your chance to show us...
348
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,120
what you can do.
349
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,360
Oh, forgot to say!
350
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,960
Anyone who is participating,
it's free ale all night.
351
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,360
[ruckus]
352
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,000
What the fuck you doing?
I can't shell out for this.
353
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,280
You don't have to.
354
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,720
Charge on the door.
355
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,080
-You'll make your money back.
-Mum, sort this out.
356
00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,880
Oh, Mimi, isn't he gorgeous
when he's riled? If I wasn't his auntie...
357
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,240
[muffled music]
358
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,160
You all right?
359
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,360
Why wouldn't I be?
360
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,360
You don't look like someone
who's found their long-lost brother,
361
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,120
-the one you said you worshipped.
-I'm made up to see him.
362
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,880
So made up, you want him
out the house in 24 hours?
363
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,560
Drop it, eh?
364
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,840
Leave it, Micky!
365
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,680
Karen says she needs some vodka,
crisps and nuts from the cellar.
366
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,720
Gullibility runs in the family.
367
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,360
[Mimi] Micky!
368
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,720
Micky!
369
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,560
Let me out! Bastard!
370
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,960
Just sort it!
371
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,200
He reckons it's about time
me and you had a talk.
372
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,240
And I think he's right.
373
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,280
[Bobbi sighs]
374
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,920
-All the wives take their turn.
-Ah...
375
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,720
That is so considerate.
376
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,680
Thanks.
377
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,800
Otherwise, one person ends up
doing the whole lot, every week.
378
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,560
Which wouldn't be right at all.
379
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,280
-[Avril] Oops.
-For fuck's...
380
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,840
I do yours
out of some misplaced sense of obligation.
381
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,640
The SS can do their own.
382
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,960
They also take turns to cook.
383
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,480
-Fuck right off!
-It'll help me infiltrate the group!
384
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,760
You're a trainee teacher,
not a member of MI-bleeding-5.
385
00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,960
-No way.
-Please.
386
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,280
-No!
-If I want a chance to bring them down...
387
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,680
And who put you in charge
of social justice?
388
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,400
-Someone needs to make a stand.
-And that's you?
389
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,920
Jackson, you can't even put
a fucking shelf up!
390
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,680
They're coming for dinner tonight.
391
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,720
[door shuts]
392
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,360
[liquid pouring]
393
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,840
What are you fucking doing?
394
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,560
[Bobbi] It's the vodka,
I'm pissing like shire a horse.
395
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,200
Well, I don't want to see
your dangly bits!
396
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,360
Try standing up against the wall
and doing it like a normal man!
397
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,280
[Bobbi] Normal?
398
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,840
And what the fuck is normal?
399
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,800
Certainly not you.
400
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,280
-You have no idea what it's like being me.
-Oh, yeah?
401
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:40,120
-I also have facial hair and haemorrhoids.
-How bad my life was when you pissed off!
402
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,600
At least you had a life!
403
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,920
All my life was spent coping
with being your sister,
404
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,800
while you were swanning round
being Quentin fuckin' Crisp.
405
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,480
I had to deal with the fallout!
406
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,920
Quentin fuckin' Crisp? I'm not a gay man.
407
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,360
I'm a woman, okay? Born with a cock.
408
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,240
Yeah... Definition of a woman
with a cock: man.
409
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,280
-I feel like a woman inside!
-Oh, yeah?
410
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,400
Well, I feel like bleedin'
Pamela Anderson inside,
411
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,000
but not much chance of you seeing me
in fuckin' Baywatch, is there?
412
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,800
-I'm a woman!
-Cock!
413
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,200
-Woman! Woman!
-Cock, cock, cock.
414
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,240
[Mimi grunts]
415
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,160
Fighting your battles for you,
416
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,440
defending you while you pranced round
the streets in Ma's heels!
417
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,280
You were a self-indulgent,
spoilt little bastard!
418
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,720
[yelling] You've got no idea
what I went through,
419
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,600
the pain that I suffered
420
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,040
and all that time
you were laughing at me, Mimi!
421
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,720
I was screaming for help.
422
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,080
I was begging for somebody
to give me their hand
423
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,880
and all that time you were laughing at me,
424
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,000
taking the piss...
425
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,400
while I was drowning.
426
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,720
I was drowning.
427
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,760
Urgh! Your bollock's out.
428
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,600
[Mimi] It was like The Crying Game
all over again, only in 3D.
429
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,920
Are you two okay now?
430
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,320
[Mimi] If I'd have known...
431
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,600
If we'd have talked,
432
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,320
your burden could've been lighter.
433
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,280
We could've gone on Trisha
or that gobshite on Granada.
434
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,200
[spits]
435
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,600
[Mimi] Talked things through,
436
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,040
reached an understanding.
437
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,200
A resolution.
438
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,080
But from now on...
439
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,840
my casa, su casa.
440
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,240
-English, please.
-It means her house is my house.
441
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,640
[Mimi] As long as you want to stay,
you're welcome here.
442
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,440
Such a lot to catch up on.
443
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,720
Come here, love.
444
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,440
[kiss]
445
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,800
[Bobbi] And one more thing.
446
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,240
Jamie and Shane obviously aren't
too comfortable having me around, so...
447
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,640
I might as well say this here.
448
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,720
We had a homo in the footie team
and they were cool with him.
449
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,480
Apart from touching him during a tackle.
Or bending down for the ball.
450
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,440
Or him kissing them if they scored.
451
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,960
And the showers.
And having him on the team but...
452
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,560
[Bobbi] Erm...
I've rehearsed this a million times
453
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,040
and I've never got it right, so, er...
454
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,680
forgive my, er, bluntness.
455
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,200
Robert Hepburn's days...
456
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,560
on earth are numbered.
457
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,280
-It's the AIDS, isn't it?
-Oh...
458
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,320
[Mimi] It's God's judgement.
You've been smitten. I fucking knew it!
459
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,920
-Oh, sweet Jesus, I could be next!
-Mimi...
460
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,800
I told your dad more than once,
461
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,040
-it's not in God's plan.
-Mimi, love...
462
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:34,080
If he'd had meant us to do it like that
he'd've made it easier
463
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,200
-to get it in!
-Mi--
464
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,320
-[Mimi shouts]
-[Bobbi] Mimi!
465
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,760
It's not fucking AIDS, okay?
It's not AIDS!
466
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,240
I've been living as a woman for years.
467
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,760
-With a woman?
-As.
468
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,400
Undergoing psychiatric evaluation,
hormone therapy.
469
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,120
I'm waiting to get the nod.
470
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,400
Come on, I've always said
that me John Thomas gets in the way.
471
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,360
-Well, pretty soon it won't.
-John Thomas?
472
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,320
-Snip! Ooh!
-[swooshing sound]
473
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,480
Oh...
474
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,040
-[knocking]
-They're here!
475
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,160
-[soft music playing]
-You're fucking kidding!
476
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,320
One word out of place
and I will rip their heads off
477
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,680
-and shit down their necks.
-[music stops]
478
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,440
[Jackson] All right? Come in.
479
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,440
You must be Avril.
480
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,200
I hope you like white.
481
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,160
I like most whites.
482
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,400
-[Jackson] Thanks for coming, mate.
-Our pleasure.
483
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,080
-[door shuts]
-Welcome.
484
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,440
-This is Ellen.
-Hiya.
485
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,080
Jackson? Coats.
486
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,880
Thanks.
487
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,200
[Mark] Thanks, mate.
488
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,960
[Avril] Go on through.
489
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,280
Two G&T's, please, Micky.
490
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,120
The Scouse transvestite.
Hardly convincing.
491
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,240
-Why's that?
-The wrong shade of orange for a start.
492
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,160
[Mimi grunts]
493
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,280
[Frank grunts in pain]
494
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,240
Dina wants to audition
for the talent night.
495
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,400
Hardly talent, even I can do that.
496
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,480
She's got a grip like a python.
The punters call her the penis fly trap.
497
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,800
-The things she can't do with her libia...
-Anyone can smoke a cigar.
498
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,400
What, like that?
499
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,880
[queef]
500
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,320
[Mimi] Admittedly, not.
501
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,480
No, no, but I'm going
to fucking learn one day.
502
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,880
Right, Micky, get her third on the bill,
503
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,400
behind that deaf kid
that did the yodelling...
504
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,800
[yodels]
505
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,720
Audience'll need perking up after that.
506
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,360
And, er, me and Bobbi'll be rehearsing
a little special something too, won't we?
507
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,000
Mm-hm, sister act.
508
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,840
Shane's clamping anything with wheels.
509
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,120
I'm worried for my mobility.
510
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,120
[woman] They've only clamped
the bloody pram!
511
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,200
[man] Bastards!
512
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,400
My punters are too scared to park.
513
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,040
[Libby] How are the acts going to get
their gear in here?
514
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,200
Where are your tutors
expected to park their cars?
515
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,640
[Micky sighs]
516
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,760
-What've you done to Shane?
-Dunno.
517
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,960
-He's not answering his phone.
-[Jamie] Well, maybe he's tied up.
518
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,680
-You've done something.
-[door opens]
519
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,000
-Where is he?
-[door shuts]
520
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,680
[yelling] Bastard!
521
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,400
Fucking kill you!
522
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,680
[racket]
523
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,120
-[Micky] Whoa! You said you'd back off!
-What is going on?
524
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,200
I'm just showing Shane
the inconvenience...
525
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,480
of being clamped!
526
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,200
[all shouting]
527
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,600
-Pack it in!
-You said you'd walk!
528
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,360
You'd do best to remember
who pays your wages.
529
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,280
Time for you to nail your colours.
530
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,040
-He's in on the business.
-[Micky] Oh...
531
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,720
Silent partner.
532
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,680
You work for me or you work for him.
533
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,600
Not both. It's time to choose.
534
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,800
-Smells fantastic, don't you think, Ellen?
-Mm.
535
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,840
It's an old family recipe.
536
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,880
Braised crocodile cheeks
537
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,880
in an apricot and prickly pear sauce.
538
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,040
A delicacy where my family come from.
539
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,960
Just pulling your leg.
540
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,200
Creole Chicken.
541
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,120
[Mark chuckles]
542
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,440
-Nice of you to invite us.
-That's entirely down to Jackson.
543
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,000
I wouldn't normally piss
on a member of the BAP if he were on fire.
544
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,000
[Mark] We've got a bad reputation.
545
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,520
Something we're working on.
546
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:41,880
How, exactly?
547
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,640
Well, we're opening doors.
548
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,720
If you're British born and bred,
you're welcome.
549
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,600
[Avril] That's to fit in
with a legal requirement.
550
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,640
You wouldn't do it if you didn't have to.
551
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:54,320
Eat.
552
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,760
She's right to be suspicious.
Country's gone to the dogs.
553
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,000
Agreed?
554
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,720
We're all getting ready for that spring,
summer, autumn and winter of discontent.
555
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,000
So your party isn't waging
a war against race any more.
556
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,600
It's... a class war now.
557
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,560
The country's being run
by a gang of public schoolboys
558
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,960
who don't know the meaning
of doing without.
559
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,040
A millionaire boys' club,
560
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,560
who've got the temerity
to tell us to tighten our belts
561
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,240
while they're going
to their holiday homes in Barbados.
562
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,040
So it's equality you're after?
563
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:29,040
We're after British people
being treated fairly. Put first.
564
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,240
We've got a march this Saturday.
565
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,280
Lefties and students are onto it.
566
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,240
Some contacts have told me
they're going to meet us mob-handed.
567
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,960
You're cancelling, I hope?
568
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,720
We've got a democratic right
to our opinion.
569
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,240
The march's going ahead.
570
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,400
They won't be able to chant
their usual racist insults at us.
571
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,960
Not once they've clocked our poster boy.
572
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,600
-You up for it?
-Deffo.
573
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,200
[Avril] You know as well as I do
574
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,120
it will turn into a riot
and you'll be at the front of it.
575
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,080
It won't.
576
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,560
If you're lucky enough
not to end up in the morgue,
577
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,800
-you'll lose your job.
-That won't happen.
578
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:20,120
[shouting] Will you take your fucking head
from up your arse
579
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,360
and wake up to what it is
you're getting involved in, Jackson?
580
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,800
Anyone accuses me of going along
with what that lunatic's preaching
581
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,280
and I remind them
I was the one that leaked this.
582
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,360
-What is it?
-A list...
583
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,360
of every BAP member
registered to vote in the UK.
584
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,120
Where d'you get it?
585
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,000
I get this to the papers
and I save a few heads being kicked.
586
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,000
He'll know it's you.
587
00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:57,960
Not me.
588
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,840
I'll ask Chesney to do it.
589
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,760
Stop worrying.
590
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,600
Come here.
591
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,920
I've got it covered.
592
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,160
[people cheering in distance]
593
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,600
You nervous, Michael?
You've every fucking right to be.
594
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,760
These are your two choices.
595
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,240
It's all down to you.
596
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,160
And over to the lovely Roberta
for that last-minute reminder.
597
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,080
[Bobbi] Thank you.
598
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,920
-[catcalling]
-Eh, stop it, cheeky!
599
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,640
-[canned laughter]
-OK, choose Jamie
600
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,040
and you condemn Shane and Kelly
to a life on the outside,
601
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,840
with absolutely no back-up whatsoever
from any Maguire.
602
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:35,960
Within weeks
603
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,400
they'll be sleeping rough,
forced to sell what little they do have,
604
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,280
in order to survive! [giggles]
605
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,920
-And choice B, please, Roberta.
-Oh!
606
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,360
Choice B, Shane.
607
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,000
By choosing him,
608
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,760
you'll essentially be dismantling
the family business,
609
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,560
so you and Shane will not be able
to work for the family,
610
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,600
therefore rendering the family business,
by definition, redundant!
611
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,760
-[Bobbi giggles]
-Do remember, though, Michael,
612
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,760
choice B carries the hidden bonus
of a return for your ma
613
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,680
-[shouting] to the Holy Land!
-[applauses]
614
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,960
That's right, Mum
will get an all-expenses paid,
615
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,880
one-way trip all the way back
616
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,120
to the banks of the Mersey!
617
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,600
Michael, it's time to...
618
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,400
[male voice] Make your choice!
619
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,680
-[Bobbi] Choose! Choose! Choose!
-[Mimi] Choose! Choose! Choose!
620
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,320
[Mimi in distorted voice] Choose!
621
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,240
[echoed voice] Choose! Choose! Choose!
622
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,800
-Choose! Choose! Choose!
-Choose! Choose! Choose!
623
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:31,800
Choose! Choose!
624
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,360
[Micky cries]
625
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,200
[gasps]
626
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,280
-It's time, Micky.
-We need a decision.
627
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,040
-Not yet.
-Do it now.
628
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,680
-I can't!
-You're going to have to.
629
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:56,600
I need more time.
630
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,560
-You haven't got it.
-But I need an extension.
631
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,720
Look, there's too much to consider
at such short notice.
632
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,640
You know me. It takes me half an hour
to decide which side of bed to get out of!
633
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,760
There's only one side you can get out,
you daft twat.
634
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,840
-Your bed's against a wall.
-It was a metaphor!
635
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,480
Cornflakes, Weetabix, Coco Pops.
636
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,320
Black socks, white socks, sports socks,
637
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,760
boxers, Y-fronts, G-string!
638
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,040
There's too many decisions
to make as it is!
639
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,440
[Karen] Micky, what colour?
640
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,720
How the fuck should I know, you s...!
641
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,160
Sorry, Karen.
642
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,040
Two soft whites, please.
643
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,040
[Patty] Is it true, then?
You're just waiting for the snip?
644
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,880
Jungle drums been banging, have they?
645
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,920
What do you do with it
while you're waiting?
646
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,800
I mean, where do you pour it?
647
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,480
Well...
648
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,000
Let me get the drinks in
649
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,720
and then I'll tell you
all you need to know.
650
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,160
Mimi, love, can I get a G&T
651
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,160
and whatever my new best mates are having?
652
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,040
These are on me, love.
653
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,680
Aw.
654
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,960
You know, I was always
the one with the talent. And the looks.
655
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,400
People used to say to me
I was more of a woman
656
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,040
than she could ever be.
657
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,960
-[laughing]
-They did! No, they did!
658
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,120
Spag bol all right for you, Bobbi?
659
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,480
You know me. Love a bit of spick.
660
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,000
-Are my slacks ready yet, Meems?
-[Mimi] Oh, upstairs.
661
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,560
I'll just give them
a quick once-over with the iron.
662
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,000
[Bobbi] We're not so different.
663
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,720
-No?
-No.
664
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,040
Apart from you being a two-faced shit
who slag off her behind her back?
665
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,920
-It's grown teeth.
-She's me mum.
666
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:46,840
She's my sister.
667
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,840
-I'll tell her.
-No, you won't.
668
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,080
You know as well as I do,
669
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,920
if you let her know that I really think
she's a fat, ugly,
670
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,280
embarrassing waste of space,
it'd break her heart.
671
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,240
Don't.
672
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:00,320
Leaving me alone in Liverpool
was the best favour she ever did.
673
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,240
The only reason I'm here
is 'cos I've nowhere else to go.
674
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,480
Are you going to tell her that as well?
675
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,160
No.
676
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,880
You haven't got the balls, Micky.
677
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,520
In a few weeks you can have mine.
678
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,480
-I'll tell her.
-Meems!
679
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,760
Micky's got something he'd like to say.
680
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,760
No, I was just saying
681
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,760
I'm really looking forward
to your duet with uncle Robert.
682
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:26,960
Steal the show.
683
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,360
-It's Bobbi.
-It's fucking Robert.
684
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,520
All right, Frank?
685
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,200
[rock music playing]
686
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,160
I'm so high,
I don't wanna come down, Jimi.
687
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,160
See you on the flip side.
688
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,840
[audience cheers]
689
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,520
Wanker.
690
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,680
Was hoping you'd be in.
691
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,000
Get in the car.
692
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,080
Some fucker robbed the membership list.
693
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,080
We've got a lot of support up on high,
694
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,800
but people'll be terrified
to back us if this gets out.
695
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:32,720
If it gets out?
696
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,160
I always keep this memory stick on me.
697
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,880
Mate of mine's a journo
at the paper that got contacted.
698
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,920
He dialled 1471, got the number,
699
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,520
we did a bit of research.
700
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:48,760
Found out who it was.
701
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,520
-Go on.
-That little Paki bastard you know.
702
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,040
Chesney?
703
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,240
Listen...
704
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,000
Ches isn't politically minded,
not in that sense.
705
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,120
He went through my stuff
while we played footy.
706
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,320
So what will you do, give him a hiding?
707
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,800
Gonna make an example of him.
708
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,679
What do you mean, an example?
709
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,719
A couple of the lads
are on their way over, tooled up.
710
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,800
-We're gonna have a few cocktails.
-Cocktails?
711
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,360
Always have a few drinks at a barbie,
don't you?
712
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,320
[engine revs]
713
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,719
-Mimi, same again.
-Yeah, OK.
714
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,280
It can't have been easy
715
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,639
growing up knowing what you knew.
716
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:34,960
That you were trapped.
717
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,239
I can't imagine what that must feel like.
718
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,280
I can.
719
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,960
[Bobbi] Well, everyone's got their burden.
720
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,440
-How come it's taken this long?
-Having his cock cut off?
721
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:49,239
[Bobbi] Didn't have the confidence,
or the backing of me family either.
722
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,480
To be fair...
723
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,600
it can't have been easy news
for your mother and father to absorb.
724
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:55,800
[Lillian] When Rodney said
he was a philatelist,
725
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,160
I stayed in bed for a month.
726
00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:01,560
You expect that from the older generation.
But I expected a little bit of support...
727
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,960
was from my own sister.
728
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,560
And it never came.
729
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,720
I tried to end it all.
730
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,520
A scream for help that was never answered.
731
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,200
Abandoned at 16, mum and dad dead.
732
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,960
With the burden of a penis
you never wanted.
733
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,440
When I had my appendix out,
they gave me it in a jar.
734
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,920
-Are you thinking--
-No.
735
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,920
Here you go, girls. Run off my feet here.
736
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,400
-Everything all right?
-Fine.
737
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,120
[Bobbi] We need to get some bread rolls,
mayo, cans of tuna, cans of ham.
738
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,720
[Avril] We can rustle up
a decent buffet between us.
739
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,480
When the going gets tough,
the tough go shopping.
740
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,640
I'll get a few bob out of petty cash.
741
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,600
-Will you go for it?
-What, in these heels?
742
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,920
-Well, I'd rather have ham.
-I'll put cheese on a bit...
743
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:03,560
[Chesney] Bastards!
744
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:04,600
Come here!
745
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,880
[kids shouting]
746
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,360
-I know your dad!
-Yeah? Well, I fuckin' don't!
747
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,800
[kid] Dickhead.
748
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:12,840
Least we know he's in.
749
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,520
Soon as the lads arrive, we're on.
750
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,240
Time for you to prove yourself.
751
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,720
We're shaping history, Jackson.
752
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:19,920
You should be proud.
753
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,240
It'll be fine, the show.
It's gonna be great, I can feel it.
754
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,200
You reckon?
755
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,120
The whole estate's buzzing.
One to remember.
756
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,600
Proud of you.
757
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:35,520
Yeah?
758
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,320
Well, not everyone
could organise a night like this.
759
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,040
Takes a lot of dedication and skill.
760
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,000
And don't forget,
761
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,880
there's a little of Bobbi's DNA
running through them veins.
762
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,000
[door opens]
763
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,880
-[Shane] Decision time.
-Time to make your choice.
764
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,000
I can't, I need a slash!
765
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,720
Straight in, straight out.
766
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,080
We've got plans to make.
767
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,240
[Jamie] We've got plans to make.
768
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,640
[urinating]
769
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,400
[thud]
770
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,120
[Bobbi] We need bread rolls.
771
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,520
-[Mimi] Will you go for it?
-[Bobbi] In these heels?
772
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,000
You can work this to your advantage,
soft arse.
773
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,840
All you've ever done
is give to those... bastards,
774
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,960
and what have they given you in return?
Their respect?
775
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,840
-Their love?
-Fuck off, they love me.
776
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,720
They've got a fucked-up way of showing it.
777
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,960
But it's hardly surprising
with the parenting that you've had.
778
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:58,880
Fifty-fifty.
779
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:01,840
Come on.
780
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:02,920
Come away with me.
781
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,360
Sun all year round, sandy beaches
782
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,640
and all the cock you could handle.
Come on.
783
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:16,800
Jamie!
784
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,720
Shane!
785
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,840
They're gonna shit on you
for the rest of your life if you let them.
786
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:30,600
Bang on time.
787
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,840
You know the drill, boys.
788
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,520
Soon as it's alight,
789
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,800
chuck the can into the flames and walk.
790
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,040
No.
791
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,520
Everything I've worked for,
792
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,880
everything I've built up
over the past ten years
793
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,440
has been fucked over
by that little bastard,
794
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:04,400
and he's gonna pay.
795
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,440
Get your bala on.
796
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,600
Mark, Mark, Mark, please!
I'll do anything.
797
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,360
[Mark yells]
798
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,840
Stand up for your rights.
That's all I'm asking!
799
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,440
[Jackson] Get out! Everyone out! Get out!
800
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,920
-Quick!
-[Avril] What's going on?
801
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:33,920
[Avril screams]
802
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,880
[Mark] Piss off, love.
[grunts]
803
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,640
[Chesney] The fuck?
[screams]
804
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,040
[rock music playing]
805
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,280
-I've got your back, Jimi!
-Cheers, Frank.
806
00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,800
Bastard!
807
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,080
[old woman] Fuck off!
808
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,080
[screaming]
809
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,920
It was me who copied your membership list.
810
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,440
If I see you again,
or have any trouble from you,
811
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,520
it'll get to the national press.
812
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,640
-You got that?
-Yeah...
813
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:25,680
Good.
814
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:33,960
And this is for Ches.
815
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,640
You robbed the takings
from your own sister?
816
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,320
Oh, what can I say?
817
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,880
I'm sorry.
818
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,200
[Mimi] I'm still trying to get
my head round this.
819
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,640
From your own flesh and blood?
820
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,560
Oh, cut the bullshit, please,
will ya, girl?
821
00:40:58,640 --> 00:40:59,920
Flesh and blood?
822
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,720
We never even fucking liked each other.
823
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,880
We misunderstood each other.
824
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,120
We were young, immature.
825
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,000
Mimi, can I just set the record
straight here?
826
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,200
You've said often enough I was never
the brother that you wanted.
827
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,880
Funny thing is...
828
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,280
you were never
the fucking sister I wanted.
829
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,360
-Watch your fucking mouth.
-Think I'm frightened of you?
830
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,920
You think 'cos I dress like this,
I can't handle myself?
831
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,360
Back the fuck off, pretty boy.
832
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,400
Leave it, Jamie.
833
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,600
Your ma used to be embarrassed of me.
834
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,160
Just like me when I'd see her
waddling down the street
835
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,800
with her fucking bubble perm
and her fucking shell suits.
836
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,040
More of a woman
than you'll ever be, though.
837
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:43,240
That's debatable.
838
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,520
There wasn't one ounce of femininity
about you when we were being dragged up.
839
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,320
When I got up in the morning,
840
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,000
it was to get the house ready
and you to school.
841
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,720
Then I nursed my ma till she died,
842
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,480
then I helped my dad deal with the grief.
843
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,760
When was I supposed to find time
to paint my nails and do my hair?
844
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,480
[Bobbi] Oh, the trials of St Mimi.
845
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,840
Be careful,
the stigmata will start playing up.
846
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:10,880
Watch your mouth!
847
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,040
[Bobbi] If you want fucking knocking out
by a pre-op, you just go for it.
848
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,080
Leave us.
849
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,640
-[door shuts]
-What will it cost
850
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,520
to go from pole to hole?
851
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,640
You mean to complete me dream?
852
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:41,240
Give me the life I should have had?
853
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,080
Give me the start I should have had?
854
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:50,440
Priceless.
855
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:01,680
Bye, Bobbi.
856
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,920
You let Bobbi go?
857
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,600
With the cash? Why?
858
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,720
Cos he's me brother.
859
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,360
Sort of. And that's what you do.
860
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,320
And any more talk of choosing sides,
861
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,560
and Bobbi won't be the only one
getting his cock cut off.
862
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:33,280
Comprende?
863
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,520
-She might have a point.
-Yeah.
864
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,200
But you're fucking barred.
865
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,000
[chatter]
866
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,440
Listen, listen.
867
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,080
Right, if anything goes wrong,
improvise, yeah?
868
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,400
The audience'll be pissed anyway.
869
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,680
Let's get that royal seal of approval!
870
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,960
-[all cheer]
-[Mimi] Micky!
871
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,400
-And remember, there's no "I" in showbiz.
-Yeah, there is.
872
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,560
[silence]
873
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,880
-Ready? Go break your legs!
-[all scream excitedly]
874
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,560
[cheers and applause]
875
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:23,800
[tense music]
876
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,320
[drum roll]
877
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,400
-[grunts in pain]
-[audience gasps]
878
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,640
[balloons popping]
879
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,480
Someone get that pin off her,
for fuck's sake.
880
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,440
[audience gasp]
881
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,000
[applause]
882
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,520
[music coming from inside]
883
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,000
["It Takes Two" playing]
884
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,280
[Mimi] ♪ Looking for a special treat ♪
885
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:16,080
[Mimi] ♪ Yeah, one can take a walk
In the moonlight ♪
886
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,520
♪ Thinking that it's really nice ♪
887
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,040
♪ Oh, but two walking hand in hand ♪
888
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,320
♪ It's like adding
Just a pinch of s... ♪
889
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,680
[Mimi] ♪ Oh, it takes two, baby ♪
890
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,680
♪ It takes two, baby ♪
891
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,080
♪ Me and you ♪
892
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,560
[Mimi] Face facts.
893
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,120
No family's perfect.
894
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,280
Might appear to be on the surface,
895
00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,000
but open it up and you find all the shit
896
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,880
no one wants to acknowledge even exists.
897
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,080
You've got to take your head out
of the sand in the end.
898
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,960
All families are fucked.
899
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,520
Ignore that advice at your peril.
900
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,040
[Libby] Is it possible to be in love
with two people at the same time?
901
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,240
Jamie!
902
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,080
-You're losing Libby.
-[Libby] We sit on the bench
903
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,760
outside his house and talk,
sometimes for hours.
904
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,440
Talking about him turned your nipples
so hard, you could have my eyes out.
905
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:16,480
Licky-lick equals win-win.
906
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,600
Ravage me with your tongue,
you dirty savage! Oh!
907
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,800
Leave tonight. Don't ever come back.
908
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,040
[Libby] I don't want to marry you.
909
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,600
[screams]
68242
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