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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720 Party! 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,160 [music fades out] 23 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,760 [classical music] 24 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,080 [Patty] I once fell in love with a man I'd never met. 25 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,600 Actor. Movie star. 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,240 Handsome thing. 27 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:36,400 Dangerous lips. The promise of sin in smouldering brown eyes. 28 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,440 I wanted him. 29 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,120 I wanted him so badly it hurt. 30 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,120 Years later, I was working in a bookshop and in he walks. 31 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,400 Out of fantasy and into the flesh. 32 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,040 And we talked. Laughed. 33 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,280 But it wasn't too long before I realised that the man I loved 34 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,240 was capable only of loving himself. 35 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:05,920 Meeting him ruined every memory of him I'd ever held dear. 36 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,280 I've never watched a film of his since. 37 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:14,760 The fantasy is always better than the reality. 38 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,440 [moaning] 39 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,360 Eamonn, Eamonn, yes, Eamonn! 40 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,480 Oh, God, I'm coming. 41 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,920 Oh, God, I'm coming. 42 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,640 I'm coming... [moaning] 43 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,760 [Carl] Libby! 44 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,280 She made this horrible moaning noise, kept shouting, 45 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,520 "Eamonn, Eamonn!" 46 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,520 Then cried out to God that she were coming. 47 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,760 Can you imagine how terrible that must be? 48 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,280 A prisoner in your own body, 49 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,120 your only escape, your only release, in your dreams. 50 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,240 [Frank] That's all they are, babe, just dreams, there's nowt in 'em. 51 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,560 I still dream of boffing Monica. 52 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,680 [sighs] 53 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,720 [Libby] Your nerves must be shot to pieces. 54 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,800 Agh, he's not the only one, look at that. 55 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,040 I thought the poor old love was a goner. 56 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,000 Why don't you go down the pub? 57 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,240 [mumbles] 58 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,480 That's my drinking hand. 59 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,280 That's why you're only getting a tenner. 60 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:26,920 [door slamming] 61 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:34,360 Micky, my sister, Tonya, she'll be staying here for a while. 62 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,880 -Didn't know you had a sister. -Same dad, different mum. Half-sister. 63 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,160 Which half? 64 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,480 Eh! You're not 16 yet... 65 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,480 Okay, it isn't a massive problem, so whatever you do keep calm, okay? 66 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,520 Your dad's in the Jockey. 67 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,560 [Kelly quietly] Shit. 68 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,240 You know his mistake, don't ya? 69 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,080 Saying, "Keep calm". 70 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,000 [door slamming] 71 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,160 It's like saying to someone, "Don't worry," 72 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,600 cos the first thing you're going to do is worry, innit? 73 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,680 So, Jamie's the looker, 74 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,440 Shane's the thinker, 75 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,800 that means you must be the gobshite. 76 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,040 [rock music] 77 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,520 All right, Homer. 78 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,720 Frank. 79 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:28,760 Pint of Jesus juice. 80 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,680 Yeah, all right, rack us up a slate. 81 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,640 Don't know when you got out... 82 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,120 Yesterday, it was in the paper. 83 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,400 [Kelly] But if you wanna stay out, keep your distance from me and her, 84 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,920 cos I'm just dying to see you back inside 85 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,600 and hearing you've been butt-fucked by every window-licker on the side wing. 86 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:53,800 And I'm waiting for the day 87 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,240 when I crack open the bubbly and tell our Tonya 88 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,080 that our bastard of a father's shuffled off his mortal coil. 89 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,000 The kid's been through enough since her mam died 90 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,080 without you turning up like a bad smell. 91 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,200 So count this as a warning, Daddy dearest. 92 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:11,800 Your last. 93 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,560 Or what? 94 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,000 -[body thuds] -[Homer groans] 95 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,520 [Kelly groaning] 96 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,480 What the hell? 97 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,800 Or that. 98 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,760 [applause] 99 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,720 Dad's been warned but you know what he's like, so if he comes near you... 100 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,000 -Call the Dibble. -No police. Not in here. 101 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,560 Tell me, Mimi, any of the lads, and we'll get him sorted. 102 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,920 If he bothers you again, yeah, it's concrete boots, 103 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,560 quick ferry across the Mersey and bye-bye, Daddy. 104 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,720 Got family in the 'pool. Half Scouse. 105 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:51,880 Which half? 106 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,720 He fucked my mum round, 107 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,240 he fucked your mum round. You owe him nothing. 108 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,200 [Kelly sighs] 109 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,160 Where's Shane got to? 110 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,000 Family business. 111 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,240 [anticipatory music] 112 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,560 If he's not back in time, you're him, right? 113 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,400 Leave the talking to me, sit there and do your best to look 15. 114 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,080 I am 15! -Lippy off. 115 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:24,800 And less tit. 116 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,800 Don't worry, I'm not interested. 117 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,720 In young girls, kids... 118 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,200 I mean, I like 'em. You know what I mean, I love 'em. 119 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,800 Not in a paedo way. Just... 120 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,880 Now remember: calm, collected, 121 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,040 leave the talking to me. 122 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,160 You've passed the CRB check 123 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,080 and the local authority are happy for Tonya 124 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,800 to stay with you and Shane for now. 125 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,080 It's nice to see a family reunited. 126 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,680 Just a shame about the circumstance. 127 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,840 I just need to check on a few details. 128 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,560 Just you and Shane in residence? 129 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,720 Just two of us, but relatives drop in all the time, busy house. 130 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,120 But no overnight stays, Shane? 131 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,720 They'd need CRB clearance to be allowed to stay overnight with a LAC. 132 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,320 Don't call me that. 133 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,520 [sighs] Looked After Child. 134 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,040 Sorry. 135 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,920 We'll make sure no-one stays while she's here. 136 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,440 With a little luck and a lot of help, 137 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,960 your dad should sort himself out 138 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,760 and you'll be back with him very soon. 139 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,280 There was talk of Tonya getting her own place, once she reaches 16. 140 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:45,400 She'd need to get her son out of care to be guaranteed council accommodation. 141 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,200 I'm sure there's no need to remind you of the history of neglect. 142 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,440 Hardly neglect, 143 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,680 her mum had died, her dad were in prison and she had no cash. 144 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,080 The baby was malnourished. 145 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,360 So was she. She's 15. 146 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,000 Which is why we've decided to give her a second chance. 147 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,480 Programmed to respond as its real-life counterpart. 148 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,160 [baby gurgling] 149 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,320 I did tell Tonya last time we met. 150 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,600 There's a memory chip that records everything. 151 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,640 So if she keeps the doll happy, she'll get her kid back? 152 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,200 It'll go in her favour. 153 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,520 You can't compare a baby with a piece of plastic. 154 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,680 If she loses her rag on this, no harm done. 155 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,080 If she does the same with Enrico, there's a court case and negligence 156 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,600 allegations all round. 157 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,720 And we don't want that, do we? 158 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,480 I think Tonya's been through enough over the past few months. 159 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:41,640 -[everybody shouts] -Leave him! 160 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,160 [gasps] 161 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,920 [indistinct voices] Eddie, come on, come on. 162 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,320 [everybody cheers] 163 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,360 -[cheers of encouragement] -[Shane] Go on, lad, one more! 164 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,600 Another step, mate, go on. 165 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,000 [all cheering] 166 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:05,280 Drinks on the house! 167 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,400 What? 168 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,320 [rock music starts playing] 169 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,240 Are you saying he grew new legs? 170 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,960 What do you think he is, a fuckin' newt? 171 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,760 The trip to the shrine of St Boniface the Second in France. 172 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,520 Remember the whip-round we had? 173 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,920 Boniface saw a vision of the Virgin Mary. 174 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,360 -[Frank scoffs] -Ten years in a wheelchair, 175 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,600 got to the holy grotto, took four men to lower him into the waters 176 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,760 and not one to get him out. 177 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,240 Cos he walked. 178 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,840 Walked, Libby. Walked. 179 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,160 Yeah, and his wheelchair had a re-spray and new tyres. 180 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,720 Mock all you like. God works in mysterious ways. 181 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,440 Get yourself over there, Patty, and try it out. 182 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,040 What do you make of that, Mum? 183 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,960 When God first saw fit to confine me to this contraption, 184 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,800 I prayed every day, every night, pleaded, begged, 185 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,400 bargained for a way out. 186 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,960 He wasn't listening. Home, Libby! 187 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,120 Well, we've only just got here. 188 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,400 There's online bingo. I want to go home now. 189 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,280 Okay, I'll go home alone. 190 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,720 If I'm mugged, raped, don't hold yourself responsible. 191 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:24,880 I'm perfectly f... 192 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,040 [Mimi] Don't take it all to heart. 193 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,000 She's got a lot to put up with, stuck in that thing all day. 194 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,160 Drive anyone round the bend. 195 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,240 Yeah. 196 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,680 [old man grunts] 197 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,080 -Shit. -[woman] Oh, my God. 198 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,240 [girl] Get an ambulance. 199 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,040 Is he dead? 200 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,200 Oh, the irony. 201 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,320 Play this right and you'll be just down the road from me. 202 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,000 I can help out with Enrico and make sure Dad keeps his distance. 203 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,240 Just going to the loo. 204 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,640 She's a good kid. 205 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,120 She's like her mum. 206 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,520 Have the fillings out your back teeth before you realise you got your gob open. 207 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,880 [door shuts] 208 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,880 Fuck! 209 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,480 -Look after that till she gets back. -I can't stay here all night. 210 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,520 I've got a rugby team booked in half an hour, 211 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,520 I can hardly drag junior along. Can I? 212 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,440 There's 30 quid in it for you. I'll be back around midnight. Don't wait up, bye. 213 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,280 [doll crying] 214 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,280 Mimi? 215 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,640 Jamie said to come straight up. 216 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,720 Course, come in, sit down. Drink? 217 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,440 Vodka tonic? 218 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,640 Going to be one of those talks, is it? 219 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,600 The pilgrimage you organised for Steady Eddie? The fundraiser? 220 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,400 What about it? 221 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,840 If it isn't too much trouble... 222 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:02,200 I mean, if it is, just let me know, if I'm overstepping the mark. 223 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:15,600 I've always believed that God had a big black book and we each had a page, 224 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:19,960 our whole lives mapped out for us before we were even born. 225 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,440 Never had you marked down as a fatalist. 226 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,640 I was taught to accept whatever life threw at you and just get on with it. 227 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,640 Seeing Eddie walk got me thinking. 228 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,600 Maybe miracles don't just happen to other people. 229 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,160 Maybe we're due one? 230 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,320 [blowing] 231 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,880 I know it's a long shot, 232 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,680 but if there's even the remotest possibility that it could work, 233 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,080 then I owe it to Mum to try. 234 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:52,080 You owe it to yourself. Looking after her 24/7 can't be too easy. 235 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,560 So you wanna take her to France? 236 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,320 We haven't two pennies to rub together, so we'd need to do a fundraiser and... 237 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,080 I just wouldn't even know where to begin. 238 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,040 [sighs] So I was wondering... 239 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,680 Would you consider helping me? 240 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,920 -I'd be honoured. -[sighs in relief] 241 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,600 Feck off. I hate the Frogs more than I hate the feckin' l-talians. 242 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,000 -Mum! -She doesn't want to go. 243 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,920 She's hardly one of God's chosen, is she? 244 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,760 If she'd lived a few hundred years ago, 245 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,120 she'd been permanently strapped to a fucking ducking stool. 246 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,760 -It could work. -Bollocks. 247 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,280 For once, I agree. 248 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,720 [Libby] Do it for me. 249 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,560 If ever I've meant more to you than just being a skivvy, 250 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,520 someone to feed and clothe you, to wipe your... 251 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,520 Eating! 252 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,560 Libby, God's not going to look favourably on the likes of me. 253 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,240 I was excommunicated the second I fell in love with your father. 254 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,240 He'll think of me as nothing more than a sinner. 255 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,800 Well, I don't know, 256 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,440 Steady Eddie was done time and again for exposing himself. 257 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,880 Used to flash at the nuns up at St Morrissey's. 258 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,160 God had him back up on his feet in no time. 259 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,080 And smited him with a coronary 260 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,720 that would have stopped an elephant in its tracks. 261 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,600 [Libby] Okay, let's put the faith issue to one side 262 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,120 and look at this as a break. 263 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,440 Two days in the glorious French countryside. 264 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,240 Great hotel, waited on hand and foot. 265 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,040 I never said I was a total 266 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,000 non-believer. 267 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,400 Once a Catholic... 268 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:30,800 -[doll crying] -[Ian] Micky, 269 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,080 it's four o'clock in the morning! 270 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,280 What the fuck are you doin'? 271 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,080 Doing a favour for Kelly. 272 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,640 Well, Tonya really, but... 273 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,360 -Have you run through the checklist? -What? 274 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,880 We've got these at the hospital. 275 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,800 -Have you fed it? -Fed, watered and bathed. 276 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,960 Put it in the back of the car. 277 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,480 The engine'll knock it out. 278 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,200 Katie used to love that when she were little. 279 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,080 That's the theory. Let us know how it goes. 280 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,600 [Ian] For fuck's sake, Micky. 281 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,440 Kel... 282 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,240 Micky. 283 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:21,840 [doll crying] 284 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,560 You've woke him up now, I only got him off half an hour ago. 285 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,640 I can't take him, I'm going to school. 286 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:32,840 I don't give a fuck. 287 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,040 I'll get the piss ripped out of me if I turn up with that thing. 288 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,440 Please, Kel. 289 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,640 [Micky] I didn't sign up for this. 290 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,760 You said you'd pick him up by midnight. 291 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,800 Get to school, I'll sort it. 292 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,200 [doll still crying] 293 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,320 I know it's a pain in the arse, 294 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,120 but you know how important this is. 295 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,040 Can't you take it into work, get one of the girls to look after it? 296 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,000 Tonya doesn't know how I earn a wage and I'd like to keep it that way. 297 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,960 [sighs] Twenty quid a day. 298 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,240 Thirty and a 50 bonus if baby's memory card 299 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,600 reads like a dream at the end of the week. Please. 300 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,040 She's a... pain in the arse. 301 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,160 I know, but she's me sister. 302 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,240 She's family, Micky. I owe her. 303 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,080 And I'll owe you. Big time. 304 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,120 You're just using your feminine wiles to tug on my heart strings. 305 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:19,960 Is it working? 306 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,200 [baby keeps crying] 307 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:23,960 [whispers] You... 308 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,000 [whines] 309 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,040 I'm sorry, okay? I'm just tired. 310 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,000 [woman laughing] 311 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,880 [doll crying] 312 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,480 Will you lot keep it down? 313 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,240 No wonder he won't settle! 314 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,120 Little tip for ya. 315 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,960 When my Rodney was about his age and wouldn't sleep, 316 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,280 I used to hold a small pillow over his face. 317 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,760 Just till he nodded off, like. 318 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,280 [everyone stops talking] 319 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,760 What, like I'm the only one? 320 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:17,920 [doll burping] 321 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:20,200 [doll giggles] 322 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,280 I get more out of him 323 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,359 than I ever thought possible. Grown quite attached. 324 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,400 Don't tell madam that. We'll never see her again. 325 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,240 You'd be a nice dad. 326 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,120 Trustworthy. 327 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,080 What about you? 328 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,240 You were thinking about adopting a while back. 329 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,680 Don't think I'd make a very good parent, somehow. 330 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,760 Never had much by the way of example. 331 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,560 [door opens] 332 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:41,760 What time do you call this? 333 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,640 Went for a coffee, got gabbing. Sorry. 334 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,280 The social get wind of you treating this place like an hotel 335 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,440 and you'll be back in care before you know it. 336 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,520 [Micky] Your tea's burnt. 337 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,920 I been calling you but it goes straight to voicemail. 338 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,680 It's like you're not interested. 339 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,120 I can cope with it 340 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,960 but what he's going to make of it, God only knows. 341 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,200 Micky, he's not real. 342 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,760 It's what he represents. 343 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,760 Enrico's in care for a reason. 344 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,000 -They don't think you can look after him. -What if they're right? 345 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,360 Come on, don't be too hard on yourself. 346 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,160 Your mum'd not long died, you was on your own. 347 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,840 I'm not now, am I? 348 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,200 It's time I got me act together. Concentrated on getting my son back. 349 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,600 I was going to go out. This bloke I've just hooked up with. 350 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,960 Ah, he's gorgeous, Micky. 351 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,560 Like something out of a boy-band. 352 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,640 Yeah? Which one? 353 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:44,800 -[giggles] -Hey? 354 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,160 I'll send him a text, tell him it's over. 355 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,800 The least you can do is tell him to his face. 356 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,760 I'll cover for you. 357 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,240 -Really? -Go on. 358 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,720 -Do you want me to take Kanye? -He's due a feed in an hour. 359 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,520 [doll giggling] 360 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,760 Ladies and gents, the star attraction's arrived. 361 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,360 [all cheering and clapping] 362 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,520 We've got 500 quid to raise. 363 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,520 So we'd better get started with our slave for a day auction. 364 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,760 Looking very smart, Carl. 365 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,320 Off into town after this. 366 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,640 -On the pull? -Might get lucky. 367 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,480 If you don't and you come by my place 368 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,000 and the light's on, give us a knock. 369 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,480 You are familiar with the term MILF, Carl? 370 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,240 Seveny-five Punds. 371 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,560 Eighty-five. 372 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,680 Any advance on 85? 373 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,600 Ninety-five. 374 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,400 [everybody shouting] 375 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,640 Once? Twice? 376 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,800 Sold! 377 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,120 Five 50! 378 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,320 Come on, ladies. 379 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,200 Libby's assured me he's got a crackin' bedside manner. 380 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,480 Five 75? 5.60? 381 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,400 On its own, number one. 382 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,920 [Carl] House! House! 383 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,400 House! 384 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,040 [everybody clapping] 385 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,680 Once at 30. Any advance on 30? 386 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,960 Get your fucking shirt off. 387 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,760 Thirty-five! 388 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,880 Forty! 389 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,280 Forty-five! Once. Twice... 390 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,440 Sold. 391 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,720 [inaudible] 392 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,000 [everybody cheering and clapping] 393 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,440 Fill your boots. 394 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,480 [Frank] Hey. 395 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,560 [Frank exhales] 396 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,680 I've wanted this for years. 397 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,800 The chance for Mum to be okay. 398 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,240 What will I do, Frank? 399 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,640 This is all I've ever known. 400 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:16,600 If it works, it's down to me 401 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,000 and I don't know what to do or how to do it. 402 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,920 Yeah, just cos you want something, 403 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,360 doesn't mean to say that you're going to get it. 404 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,560 I've been hankering for a threesome 405 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,800 with Jordan and Katie Price for donkey's years, 406 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,280 can't see that happening. 407 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,040 She's made every decision for me, 408 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,840 decided every move I've ever made and-- 409 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,520 It was you who decided to take her to France. 410 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,680 And if him upstairs actually grants us a fucking miracle 411 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,560 and she comes back under her own steam, 412 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,880 I want you doing cartwheels up that road because you'll be free! 413 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,360 Eh? Free! 414 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,240 [coins jangle] 415 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,640 We've reached the target! 416 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,360 [all cheering] 417 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,440 [knock on door] 418 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,640 [knock on door] 419 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,240 [Mickey grunts] 420 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,960 -Shane? -Patrick. 421 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,680 Shane. 422 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,320 -Micky. -Shane. 423 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,440 -Micky? -Julie. 424 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,200 Kelly. 425 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,000 Shit. 426 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,960 Ton. 427 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,480 Fuck! 428 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,960 Please don't punish Tonya for my mistake. She's got no-one. 429 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,440 She's got me. I thought she had you. 430 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,360 Julie, I know you've got a job to do, and I think you do it brilliantly. 431 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,320 But you must know that sometimes things don't go to plan and... 432 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,120 Can't you just turn a blind eye? This once? 433 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:13,040 The only person who really suffers, the only one being punished is Tonya. 434 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,600 [Shane] I'll help out, as well you know. 435 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,400 Between the both of us we'll make sure she's safe, never on her own. 436 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,360 Come on. Everybody deserves a break. 437 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,120 Just one. 438 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,040 [Kelly] Please. 439 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,640 Just one. 440 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,920 If you fuck this up, she's back in care. Have you got that? 441 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,520 If my bosses found out about your father-in-law... 442 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,960 Is the flat still a possibility? 443 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:45,280 As long as that memory card reads like we need it to. 444 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,320 [sighs in relief] 445 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,800 -Wagons roll. -It's okay. 446 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,720 [Frank] See you later, El Presidente. 447 00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,240 Here you go. Don't come back with frogs' legs. 448 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,000 Yeah. Alright. 449 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,360 Hey, get as much baccy as you can, it's dirt cheap in France. 450 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,000 -Ram a few packs down your knickers-- -I'm not going. 451 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:10,920 What? 452 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,000 You said I should start living, 453 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,960 and I want to start living so bad, Frank, so bad! 454 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,440 What if I get there and it fails? 455 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,000 What if God takes one look at her and say, "No, not you. Not today." 456 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,920 [Patty] Libby! 457 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,440 I couldn't stand it. Couldn't. 458 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:34,440 [sighs] Well, I want the old witch out of here just as much as you do, 459 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,640 but there's no way she's going to get there on her own, is there? 460 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,040 Which is why you're taking her. 461 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,640 [chuckles] Oh, no! 462 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,640 No, no, she's your mum, not mine. 463 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,840 You can cope better if it succeeds or fails. 464 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,840 You don't give a shit either way. 465 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,440 -Your bag's packed. -[sighs] 466 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,720 Look because of the effect she has on you, on us, 467 00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,000 I want a miracle too, but I want it for you. 468 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,280 Then go. 469 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:03,920 Because if you don't, I'm out of here. 470 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,000 [dramatic music] 471 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,520 This is madness and you know it. 472 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,120 Oh, I disagree. 473 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:20,760 I'd also like to prefix that by saying, I do not believe in God. 474 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,440 I am secular. 475 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,520 Latin, meaning "of the age". 476 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,440 Are you truly of the age, Frank? 477 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,120 Or could you just not be arsed aligning yourself to something requiring an effort? 478 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,440 [inaudible] 479 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,800 [Tonya] I'll see you tonight. 480 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,840 "Early night" she says. "Finished with me fella," she says. 481 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,880 The social worker's been. 482 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,360 I can't believe you've been so stupid. 483 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,600 [Tonya] Stupid? 484 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,360 I were that fucking stupid I didn't even know I was having a baby. 485 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,600 I went into hospital thinking I had appendicitis. 486 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,960 Can you believe that? 487 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,680 The nurses laughed at me. 488 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,720 Laughed. 489 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,480 [sobbing] 490 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:11,960 I want my son, 491 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,560 and I don't. 492 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,400 I miss him, 493 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,960 and I can't stand to have him anywhere near me. 494 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,400 I love him... 495 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,800 and I hate him. 496 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,840 Maybe the best thing would be to let him go. 497 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,800 I don't know. 498 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,320 What do I do? 499 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,640 Tonya, I'm not that bright myself. 500 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,040 You just need some help. 501 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:46,320 [sobbing] 502 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,320 Listen, what about the dad? 503 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,680 My dad? He's not allowed anywhere near me. 504 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,400 No, not your dad, the baby's dad. 505 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,520 [dramatic music] 506 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,240 [Tonya sobbing] Don't tell anyone, please. 507 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:06,760 Don't tell Kelly. 508 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,840 Please, Micky... 509 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,120 for the baby's sake. 510 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,960 For Enrico, please. 511 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,280 Okay, I won't. 512 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,000 [further steps] 513 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:23,840 [door slamming] 514 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,760 [key jangles] 515 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:30,560 I'm sorry. 516 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,040 So you should be, you daft sod. 517 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,000 I'll go and get packing. 518 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,800 You've had a reprieve. 519 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,240 Julie's turned a blind eye. 520 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,200 You'll be staying here and as soon as you hit sixteen, the flat's yours. 521 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,280 What about Enrico? 522 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,360 The way Micky's looking after Kanye, you'll have him back soon. 523 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:50,560 [both laugh] 524 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,880 Go and get showered. You stink of fags and booze. Go on. 525 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,440 [banging on door] 526 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,480 Kelly. 527 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,240 [police siren] 528 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,760 So where is she then? 529 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,400 I told you to keep your distance. I told you not to come anyway. 530 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,800 I'm getting a bit sick of being told what to do. 531 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,200 Now you're gonna listen. 532 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,880 I'm here to stay, and I want to see my little girl. 533 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,200 She's the only family I've got apart from you 534 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,920 and we all know what you are, don't we? 535 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,120 They're moving her! 536 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,120 [Homer] I'll find her. 537 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,160 Just like I found her when she was with you, 538 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,720 like I found her mum when she left, 539 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,120 just like I found your mam. 540 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,880 If you fucking hurt her! 541 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,160 [Kelly groaning] 542 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,520 What are you gonna do? 543 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,560 I'll tell 'em! 544 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,680 You what? 545 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,280 [yelling] I'll tell 'em! 546 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,600 You tell them and I'll tell them it was down to you. 547 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,720 Me, pissed, you climbing into bed. 548 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,960 I didn't know who you were until it was too late. 549 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:56,880 Everyone knows what you are 550 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,480 and what you do. 551 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,520 Who do you reckon they'll believe? 552 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,800 [Kelly breathing heavily] 553 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,920 ♪ Maybe I didn't treat you ♪ 554 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,720 ♪ Quite as good as I should have... ♪ 555 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,520 The skirtings could do with another once over. 556 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,480 Lillian, I've done them three times! 557 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,840 Mistress. Remember, I own you, slave. 558 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,920 It was a charity auction. I'll give you the cash back-- 559 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,080 [Lillian] Trixie! 560 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:49,880 Have you got any jobs for Carl? 561 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,120 Oh, have I! 562 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,440 Skirtings, yeah? 563 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,600 [church bells ringing] 564 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,040 I was told I'd be staying in a hotel. 565 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,760 Tell me there's been some terrible mistake they've dropped us off at the wrong place. 566 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,400 Ah, excuse moi... 567 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,080 Bonjour... 568 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,160 [nuns speaking in French] 569 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,080 Shit! 570 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,240 There must be another room! 571 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,720 It's packed to the rafters with the faithful and deluded. 572 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,160 We're sharing because they were expecting Libby, not me. 573 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,360 I only came here because I thought I was staying somewhere decent. 574 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,040 I'd imagined I'd be neck-deep in a Jacuzzi by now! 575 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,320 Remind me again why we're here? 576 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,560 For your daughter. 577 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:58,240 Look, you know and I know there's about as much chance of you walking 578 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,920 as there is me passing a liver function test. 579 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,760 Oh, come on. 580 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,800 [snorts] Here, hold this. 581 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,920 -It's good for my cataracts. -You haven't got cataracts! 582 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,560 I rest my case. 583 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,000 [exhales] 584 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:29,920 Fancy a drink? 585 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,120 [Frank] Oh! 586 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,000 Praise the Lord! 587 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,800 -[nun] Bonjour. -[Patty] Bonjour. 588 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,440 [nun] Est-ce que je peux vous aider? 589 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,000 Sister Patrick. Father Francis. 590 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,280 He's deaf. Mute. Here for the cure. 591 00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,760 We're just out for a breath of air. 592 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,520 S'il vous plait. 593 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,440 Not at all. 594 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,800 I will pray for you. 595 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,760 Mh... 596 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,560 [Patty] We need all the help we can get. 597 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,680 Thank you. 598 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,440 [whispering] Fucking hell! 599 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,120 [Franks grunts] 600 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,040 [door slamming] 601 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,360 [footsteps getting closer] 602 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,240 Tonya's out with her mates. 603 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,520 Been calling your mobile. 604 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,360 I'm out of credit. 605 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,120 She told me about the Soce. 606 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,320 About her staying with us... till she hits sixteen. 607 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:27,680 Gets her own flat. 608 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,920 That's on account of the good job you've done with Kanye. 609 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,000 You think it's a good idea? 610 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,080 I mean... 611 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,600 her looking after a kid? 612 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:50,600 She's still a kid herself. 613 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,200 Maybe... 614 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:02,520 best thing would be for Enrico to stay in care 615 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,240 until she feels ready to look after him. 616 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,320 Maybe the best thing would be for her... 617 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,840 maybe if she let him get adopted. 618 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,239 Give him a chance. 619 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,639 She said your dad... 620 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,159 [panting lightly] wasn't... 621 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,360 proper with her. 622 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:51,840 Was he proper with you? 623 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,520 Social are picking him up in an hour. 624 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,760 [water running] 625 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:34,920 [splash] 626 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,440 [bubbling] 627 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,280 [dramatic music] 628 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,840 [sobbing] 629 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,120 -Hey, you missed a good night last night. -Cracking laugh. 630 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,120 -[Micky] Vodka, straight. -On the hard stuff? 631 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,600 [paper rustling] 632 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,440 -Look, I can take an early tea break-- -I'm fine, ta. 633 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,200 Top half in there. 634 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,040 [whispering] Drink it quick. Then leave. 635 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,400 [scoffs] 636 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,640 In fact, just get out. 637 00:36:55,720 --> 00:36:57,400 Is this a joke? 638 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,040 I know what you did to your daughters. 639 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,360 I know what you are. 640 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,280 Fuck you. 641 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,120 Oh, Liam. Maybe we should wait. 642 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,200 Until your mum comes back doing the Can-Can? 643 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:23,600 Oh, ye of little faith. 644 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,040 [Libby] I'm being cautious. 645 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:29,120 There are many reasons why him upstairs might not give us what we want. 646 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,680 The most probable is that there's no him upstairs. 647 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,240 There's not even an upstairs. 648 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,720 How do you get to be so cynical at your age? 649 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,640 How do you get to be so gullible at yours? 650 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,960 It's not gullibility, it's desperation. 651 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,080 I know you understand a lot of things at your age that you shouldn't. 652 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,600 -But I hope that's not one of them. -Another thing to look forward to. 653 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,760 [Libby] If this doesn't work, he'll think I'm an idiot. 654 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,640 You're many things, but you're not an idiot. 655 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:55,560 Now grab the big 'un. 656 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,600 [Frank] You know Libby expects a miracle, don't you? 657 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,600 [Patty] She won't get one. Stupid girl. 658 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:09,880 Quite. 659 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,480 Don't know why she thinks as much of you as she does, y'know. 660 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:17,760 I'm her mother. 661 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:19,880 Kids are programmed. 662 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,400 Didn't you love yours? 663 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,960 Can't hardly remember her. 664 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,400 Remember loving her. 665 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:29,960 I suppose I still do. 666 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:32,680 When did you lose her? 667 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:33,800 I was 12. 668 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:34,920 Oh. 669 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,720 [Frank] The head master called me to his office. 670 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,840 Dad was there. 671 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,400 He says... 672 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:43,840 "Your mum's died." 673 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,760 -Just like that. -[Patty] She missed out... 674 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,320 on all those special years. 675 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,080 Well, they weren't that special. 676 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,560 She didn't stick around and see me... 677 00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,640 ...slip. 678 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,080 Well, not so much of a slip, more of a fucking... 679 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,560 Cresta Run, downhill slalom, call it what you fucking will. 680 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,760 Maybe if she'd been there it wouldn't have happened. 681 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:20,160 [church bells ringing] 682 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:23,800 Fucking... Calling the faithful to their knees. 683 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:24,760 Hmph. 684 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:28,560 Fancy joining them? 685 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,680 [tense music] 686 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,680 A pressie from your daughters. 687 00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:02,280 [piss splashing] 688 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,040 Shit! 689 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,760 Shane? Get to the Jockey toilets quick, I need a hand! 690 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,640 [choir singing] 691 00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:18,000 Merci. 692 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:21,320 [people talking in French] 693 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,320 What I wouldn't give for that kind of faith. 694 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:26,280 Hmph! 695 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,800 [Frank] No, there's... there's something happening here, Patty. 696 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,000 No denying it. 697 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,920 It's mass hysteria without the hysterics. 698 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,440 The desperate will try anything. 699 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,840 Praying to a God that doesn't exist being top of the list. 700 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,000 What's happened here, then? 701 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,520 See, that is not the same guy who was just lowered 702 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:49,960 into that water just now. 703 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,640 There's... you know, a change in him. 704 00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:53,960 You can see it. 705 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,920 [Patty] He feels better because he's been told he will. 706 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,880 Because he wants to. It's a placebo. 707 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,080 [all praying in French] 708 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,880 Your turn soon. 709 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,200 [laughing] If you actually think 710 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,960 I'm going to participate in this pantomime... 711 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,040 C'mon... 712 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,680 [woman exclaims in French] 713 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,680 [majestic choral music plays] 714 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,200 [music stops suddenly] 715 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,080 [all cry out in French] 716 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,840 God! Jesus! 717 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,120 II peut marcher! 718 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,920 Oh, Seigneur! C'est un miracle! 719 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,080 What? 720 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,560 Oh, get off me, you stupid French... 721 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,480 Remember Agincourt? 722 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,680 Hey? Fucking Waterloo? 723 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:31,760 Waterloo! 724 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,200 [water dripping] 725 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,640 [Homer moans and struggles] 726 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:46,720 Give me a ring when you're done. 727 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,720 Been wondering what to do with you, Homer. 728 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,520 My initial reaction was to kill you straight away. 729 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:54,880 Too quick. 730 00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,800 -So I came up with this. -[muffled shouts] 731 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,920 -[drill whirring] -[muffled shouts] 732 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,480 [Kelly] I'll get these. 733 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,080 Er... 140 as agreed. 734 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,680 We had a deal. 735 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,480 You're family. 736 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:23,920 Thanks, bro. 737 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,600 Vodka tonic. Double, please. 738 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,200 Make it two. 739 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,080 Are you okay now? 740 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,160 Cheers, mate. 741 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:35,640 Good. 742 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:40,400 Micky, any idea where your dad and brothers have got to? 743 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,840 They had a bit of, er, business to sort in Liverpool. Last minute stuff. 744 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,200 [Mimi] They've been gone hours. 745 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:48,200 Shane said they might take a quick ferry across the Mersey. 746 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,480 [Mimi] They loved doing that when they were kids. 747 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,160 [engine revs] 748 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,800 -It didn't work. -Did you really expect it to? 749 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,080 Hoped it might. 750 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,520 -Welcome back, Mum. -Miss me? 751 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,440 -Course. -You've never been a good liar, Libby. 752 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,880 Never been that good at anything, really, have you? 753 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,120 I hope you've something decent in for tea. The French eat anything. 754 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,120 Frogs, snails, cheese with maggots in, would you believe! 755 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,640 [man] Hello? 756 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:35,280 Yeah, landed about 10 minutes ago. 757 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,720 -[gasps] -[man] Yeah. 758 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,040 Fuck's she doing now? 759 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,960 [classical music plays] 760 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,080 -[Libby] Mum? -[Frank] Oh, come on! 761 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,840 I thought I saw someone I knew. 762 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,520 Well, home. Now. 763 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,680 [Frank] Put her in the back. 764 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,400 [Patty] We all desire things we can never have. 765 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:12,360 Thank you. 766 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,880 Have goals we can never achieve. 767 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,840 Winning the lottery, flying to the moon, 768 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:22,000 bedding the best looking girl or boy in town. 769 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,280 -[Mimi] There you go. -Mimi. Thank you. 770 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,520 But I'd never even tried to make my dreams reality. 771 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,040 Couldn't bear the thought of failing. 772 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,440 It was worth a try. 773 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,920 Couldn't bear to be reminded of just how ordinary I am. 774 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,120 [Lilian] Oh, if I were 10 years younger! 775 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:46,800 Give me fantasy over reality any day. 776 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,920 [sighs] 777 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,480 This wedding certificate. It's fake. 778 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,440 And the kids! They're all bastards! 779 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,840 Tell me something I don't know. 780 00:45:55,920 --> 00:46:00,920 We're getting married at four 'o clock today whether you like it or not. 781 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,520 -What the fuck? -Gary. 782 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,680 I think I've fucked it up by telling a few lies. 783 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,400 I'm shagging Paddy Maguire. 784 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,240 [Patty] You stole my savings. How dare you! 785 00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:12,360 Fucking hell! 786 00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:13,600 [camera flash] 787 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,120 I'm not the only one with a secret, am I? 788 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,240 [groans] 789 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,280 I'm sorry I couldn't make it work. 790 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,200 [sighs] 791 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,400 Night night, son. 792 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,400 [Kanye] Night night, dad! 793 00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,120 [electronic buzzing] 57192

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