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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040
[imitates train] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040
[shouts] Stay away!
7
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
8
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
9
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented,
10
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
11
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
12
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
13
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
14
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480
[all laughing]
15
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
16
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
17
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
19
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840
[laughing]
20
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360
Scatter!
21
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720
Party!
22
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,560
[music fades out]
23
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,360
[Liam]
Some old fella was found dead in his bed.
24
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,640
Nothing unusual in that,
25
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,160
apart from the fact he'd snuffed it
at least six months previous.
26
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,760
Nothing unusual in that,
27
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,120
apart from the fact that he lived
in a busy street
28
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,360
that prides itself on Neighbourhood Watch
and community spirit.
29
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,880
But somewhere amongst all that bonhomie,
a human being had died,
30
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,920
and no one had even noticed,
31
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,800
because they were all too busy,
too selfish to clock it.
32
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,040
[Jamie] All right, babes.
33
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,840
[Liam] What we need is for someone
to shake us out of this sleep we're in,
34
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,560
to remind us that we're all cogs
in a big machine,
35
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,840
and if we don't start looking
after each other, then we're doomed!
36
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,000
We need someone to show us the way,
set an example.
37
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,080
We need a hero!
38
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,640
[exhales] But where are you going
to find one of them around here, eh?
39
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:22,720
Hey.
40
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,840
The one thing I do not need
when I'm in this much of a hurry
41
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,920
is one of your floozies taking space
in the bathroom.
42
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,080
Happy 50th birthday,
you miserable bastard.
43
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,400
[Carl]
And I didn't pull a floozy last night.
44
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,480
[Carl] I'm very happy with Maxine.
45
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,840
Fifteen minutes she was in there,
with her ablutions.
46
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,280
I'm outside, bladder's bursting.
47
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,280
-Had to take a piss in the sink.
-[Carl spits]
48
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,840
What you doing bring her here?
What if Maxine finds out?
49
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,880
-[door opens]
-Finds out what, Frank?
50
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,560
My dad was just asking me
how I think you'd react
51
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,680
if you caught me with this lady here.
52
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,080
I'd rip his balls off.
53
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,000
I wouldn't blame you.
54
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,480
[Floozy] Morning, Frank.
55
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,280
-Remember me?
-Yeah, we met in The Jockey last night.
56
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,400
Yeah, we had a few drinks,
got chatting and...
57
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,240
before long, we found ourselves back here,
one thing led to another and...
58
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,240
Here she is. We are! Isn't that right?
59
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,480
[Frank] Enjoy it?
60
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,280
Ouch! [grunts]
61
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:19,680
[Frank] Oh! Fucking hell! [grunts]
62
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,400
Happy birthday, mate!
63
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,680
[laughing, singing with joy]
64
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,160
None of this would've happened
if I'd got my alarm clock I asked for!
65
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,320
Where've you been,
you selfish little shit?
66
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,320
Out earning a living,
so don't wag a finger at me,
67
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,800
you job-shy, sponging waste of space!
68
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,840
Don't talk to me like that.
I've got a job, and all. I contribute!
69
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,560
-I've got a job.
-Wouldn't really call it a job.
70
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,440
Oh, well what would you call it then,
smartarse?
71
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,120
Community service?
72
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,800
["My Boy Lollipop" by Millie Small]
73
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,000
♪ My boy lollipop ♪
74
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:55,960
Come on.
75
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,120
♪ You make my heart go giddy-up ♪
76
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,560
[horn toots]
77
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,760
♪ You are as sweet as candy ♪
78
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,160
♪ You're my sugar dandy... ♪
79
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,120
Nice to see you paying your debt
to society, Gallagher.
80
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,040
[pop]
81
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,680
[both laughing loudly]
82
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,080
Not long now.
83
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,800
Half of me can't wait. [pants]
84
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,520
The other half don't want it
to happen at all.
85
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,720
They say you forget the pain, though.
86
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,480
How could you forget the sensation
87
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,960
of having an eight-pound bundle
of flesh and bone
88
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,000
trying to fight its way out your minge?
89
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,400
Seven I've had.
90
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,040
There's more scar tissue down there
than fanny now.
91
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,040
I remember Paddy telling me he'd finished.
I didn't even know he'd started.
92
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,760
[Mimi] Like chucking a chipolata up
the Mersey tunnel.
93
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,600
[Mimi] All sense of grip gone.
94
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,800
Worth it, though.
95
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,880
When you've got that little bundle
in your arms, it's all worth it.
96
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,000
I just want it out now.
97
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,600
I mean, two weeks overdue.
98
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,560
I was three weeks over carrying our Jamie.
99
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,400
A few tricks you might want to try.
100
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,960
Me and Paddy were at it 24/7
to try and budge him.
101
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,040
Tried that.
102
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:10,720
[moaning]
103
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,440
I love you.
104
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,440
[groaning] God, I love you.
105
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,080
[Karen moaning]
106
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,520
-Curry?
-Heartburn.
107
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,280
Get a few gins down your neck.
108
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,720
Might that damage the baby?
109
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,960
Nah, I did it with all of mine.
They turned out okay.
110
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,720
-[Micky] Where do you want these, Mam?
-[Mimi] Kitchen.
111
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,200
[music loud in headphones]
112
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:41,440
-[Frank] All this is for Liam, is it?
-His birthday party tonight as well.
113
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,840
Ugh...
114
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,920
I feel sorry for Liam having to share
a birthday with you.
115
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,560
Better been born
with the number of the beast.
116
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,760
-Oh, well--
-[door opens]
117
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Nin!
118
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,520
All right, Nin!
119
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,440
How's my second favourite great-grandson?
[chuckles]
120
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,360
[laughing]
121
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,480
[Carl] I'm cool.
122
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,120
This is my girlfriend, Max.
123
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,560
-[Carl] This is Nin.
-Fancy a brew?
124
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,200
Oh, that would be lovely.
125
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,440
Hey! Happy birthday, Liam!
126
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,960
Nin!
127
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,560
-[Nin] And happy birthday, Vernon.
-Oh, cheers, Nin!
128
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,440
I would've been round sooner,
but Jonty went hypoglycaemic,
129
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,680
so I've spent half the morning
force-feeding him Mars bars.
130
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,800
[exhales]
131
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,920
[giggles] Sister...
132
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Oh! Thank Christ for that!
133
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,360
Well, I've come round
to offer my services.
134
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,400
I heard Monica
had popped out for a loaf again.
135
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,800
[Frank]
Oh, I wonder where you heard that from.
136
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,280
[Nin] Thanks, love.
137
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,800
Well, I love cooking, cleaning,
ironing's a doddle,
138
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,120
babies need a mother, so do young boys.
139
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,160
And with Debbie in the Army now--
140
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,520
I don't think that's going to work, Nin.
141
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,920
It can't be easy, with Monica leaving.
142
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,520
Well, we've all adapted--
143
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,600
[Liam] Nin could come
a couple of nights a week, maybe.
144
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,360
You could stay over.
Liam'd bunk in Stella's room.
145
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,440
Yes, you could go out for a pint,
I could babysit.
146
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,360
No. No, it's too much. Much too much.
147
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,040
[Frank] No way.
148
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,600
Hell!
149
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,040
All right. It was just a thought.
150
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,720
[Nin] I've got to get off now.
151
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,920
Jonty'll be needing a feed.
152
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,040
Yeah. Hey, don't be a stranger!
153
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,200
[Nin] No. I'll pop round when I can.
154
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,800
[Nin] Bye, darling.
155
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,520
-[Maxine] Nice to meet ya!
-[Carl] You're welcome whenever you want.
156
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,600
-[Liam] Yeah, whenever.
-[Nin] Okay, bye-bye.
157
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,720
[giggles]
158
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,520
-You piece of shit!
-That was horrible. She's lonely!
159
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,720
I'm lonely!
160
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:47,120
-No, you're a sociopath, she's an OAP.
-[Carl] It's not always about you.
161
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,560
-It's not-- Oh, Fu--
-[Carl] What about us?
162
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,920
Nin wanted to help,
we could have done with it!
163
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,560
You better have remembered Liam's present.
You promised him!
164
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,000
Yeah, course I remembered!
165
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,560
Not every day your youngest lad
reaches his teens.
166
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,160
He's eleven.
167
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,880
[grunts]
168
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,080
Get off me fuckin' case!
169
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,760
-Get out!
-[door slams]
170
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,400
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
171
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,440
Fuck! Micky!
172
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,960
Any chance you can use
your contacts in the underworld
173
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,200
to get us one of them?
174
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,840
Eight tonight, the latest?
175
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,840
Cost ya.
176
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,520
-Forty quid.
-Forty-five.
177
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,159
-Thirty-five.
-Deal.
178
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,440
-Go on, kids.
-Liam told me about Nin.
179
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:47,600
-Wait there.
-Nice one
180
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,480
Just what I need,
another Esther Rantzen! Wait!
181
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,560
That shit you fed us about
how Nin was the one that saved you
182
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,200
when your mum died,
and how you were living
183
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,440
with your father, that was all bollocks.
184
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,360
OK. So she moves in and it's all
cottage pies and starched shirts.
185
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,120
[Frank] Within weeks
186
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,360
we'll be sponging
her women's bits, and wiping her arse!
187
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,360
I'm a single parent now,
188
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,200
got two kids under...
189
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,160
Twelve.
190
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,880
Yeah. And at the age of fifty,
191
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,400
I'd like a little bit of colour
in my otherwise monochrome life!
192
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,560
Left the upbringing of his kids
to anyone that'd take 'em on,
193
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,040
I'm one of them!
194
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,080
[Frank] Yeah, yeah.
195
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:26,320
I made mistakes! Oh, I'm fallible!
196
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,720
Let he who is
without sin cast the first stop--
197
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,240
-Oh!
-[kid laughs]
198
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,960
Not funny son, not fuckin...
199
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,040
Okay, okay.
200
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,320
Contrition you want,
and contrition you shall have!
201
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,360
[heavenly music]
202
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,200
[tense tone]
203
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,560
No!
204
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,880
[car honks horn] [tires screeching]
205
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,920
-Oh!
-[car driver] Dozy bastard!
206
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,120
[woman breathing heavily]
I shouldn't wear these things!
207
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,280
You saved my life!
208
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,480
Just doing my duty, Mrs--
209
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,640
Miss... Miss Croker.
210
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,600
Libby Croker.
211
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,960
Thank you.
212
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,120
Hey!
213
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,960
[music fades out]
214
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,080
[indistinct chatter]
215
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,760
What you after, Lillian?
216
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,320
Can't I wish a neighbour
all the best on his big one?
217
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,480
Well, you could if I was your neighbour.
218
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,560
You're getting nowhere near my big one.
219
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:47,200
Your survival it's been
a combination of advanced medical science,
220
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,000
and sheer bloody-mindedness.
221
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,320
You can go when you've finished.
222
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,480
Half a century! Eh?
223
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,160
Ooh! Wish I'd had a bet on that.
Imagine the odds!
224
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,160
Of what?
225
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,080
You still being here.
226
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,040
And when it is your turn
to meet your maker,
227
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,560
it'll be sudden,
like the flicking of a switch.
228
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:08,360
[all chanting] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
229
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,680
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
230
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,560
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪
231
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,040
What the fuck?
232
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,600
[blowing]
233
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,320
[Liam sarcastically] Happy birthday, Dad.
234
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,040
I'm sorry.
235
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,040
[sighs]
236
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,440
If you're wondering why they all left,
I might be able to enlighten you.
237
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,720
You're not worth hanging around for.
238
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,120
I had something good, something special
with each of these women.
239
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,480
They haven't had something good
with you though.
240
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,760
Cos the minute they woke up
to what you were,
241
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,520
they were gone, and I don't blame them,
242
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,920
cos the minute I can get out, I will.
243
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,920
Well, why wait?
244
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,360
[sighs]
245
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,760
[Libby] Libby Croker... Miss Croker.
246
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,320
[cheerful music]
247
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,280
Could this get any better?
248
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,680
I think it could.
249
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,520
[unzipping]
250
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,800
[Nin]
No need to apologise for your father.
251
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,200
[Nin] He always was a selfish little shit.
252
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,840
-[Nin] Just like his mother.
-Was she as bad?
253
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,200
Yeah, but at least she was sober.
254
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,840
-Well, some of the time.
-[chuckles]
255
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:16,040
Now, you've had your birthday treat,
I want you and me to have a talk.
256
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,640
If it's the birds and the bees thing,
it's about six weeks too late.
257
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,920
You're full of promise, Liam.
258
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,600
I want you to fulfil your potential.
259
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,040
Go for it.
260
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,600
Give me a hand.
261
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,400
[Nin] Someday you're going to be faced
with a situation
262
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:35,240
where to get where you want,
you have to tread on someone's head.
263
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,440
And when that situation arises--
264
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,240
I know, do the right thing.
265
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,880
No, none of that touchy-feely bollocks!
266
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,440
Go for the jugular, the kill.
267
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,560
-What kind of advice is that?
-[Nin] Good advice.
268
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,160
Carry no passengers.
269
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,280
-Bit rich, coming from you.
-Jonty?
270
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,840
I hate the fucking sight of him.
271
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,640
If I'd known he was going to cabbage
within six months of our marriage,
272
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,840
I'd have steered well clear.
273
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,640
Look at him...
274
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,640
useless.
275
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:11,520
[Nin] An endless drain on my time,
energy and resources.
276
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,800
Oh, you don't mean that.
277
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,680
[sobbing] I do.
278
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,560
He'd be better off dead. Me and him both.
279
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,120
[sobbing]
280
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,160
[Nin coughing] Here.
281
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,080
You finish up and get off home.
282
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,360
[Jonty farts]
283
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,440
[Nin] Oh, God!
284
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,440
[Nin] His bag's burst again!
285
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,440
I'll get the bucket, you open the windows.
286
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,760
[electronic dance music]
287
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,120
Weirdest place you've ever done it.
288
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,200
Llandudno.
289
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,280
[both] Bog on a train!
290
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,040
-[Kelly] Together?
-[laughing] No!
291
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,960
Back of a police bike.
292
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,840
It were parked up. Spain.
293
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,520
-What, was it a copper?
-Yeah.
294
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,480
-Uniform, boots, tache?
Uh-huh.
295
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,640
Lillian, weirdest place
you've ever done it?
296
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,080
Up the bum. Brendan was a bugger for it.
297
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,360
[all laughing]
298
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,760
-Jamie!
-[Joe] He's at Frank's party
299
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:20,920
with his ma and pa...
300
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,040
Get out.
301
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,200
[Joe] The day of judgment looms, eh?
302
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,880
Pritchard Junior's gonna pop out,
and then you've got some explaining to do.
303
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,040
-[Joe] Well, I'll tell him if you want.
-Get out.
304
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,240
Sorry, Jamie.
305
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,360
[Joe] Thing is, me and your missus,
we just couldn't help ourselves.
306
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,080
[Joe] Some sort of attraction going on,
and try as we might...
307
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,360
We just can't fight it.
308
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,240
-I love Jamie.
-But you want me.
309
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,400
[tense music]
310
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,200
[Joe] He's reliable...
311
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:11,440
solid, trustworthy loyal, gentle...
312
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,720
[Joe] He'll make a lovely dad.
313
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,920
And he bores the fuckin' arse off ya!
314
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,360
Get out!
315
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,440
[in pain] Ah!
316
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,920
Shit! [Karen grunting]
317
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,440
Get an ambulance!
318
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:24,920
[Joe] Oh...
319
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,640
Brilliant!
320
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,320
Jamie's gonna love this one!
[laughs maliciously]
321
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,920
-Big daddy's gonna miss it!
-Please!
322
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,640
All these months of antenatal
and birth partner classes,
323
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,080
and he's necking it round the Gallaghers
when the big moment comes.
324
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,680
Priceless, Karen!
325
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,680
[Karen grunts in pain] Ah!
326
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,240
[Karen sobbing]
327
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,520
[groaning]
328
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,640
-[Karen grunts in pain]
-Right, come here.
329
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:56,800
Fuck off!
330
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,440
[Karen breathing heavily]
I don't want you anywhere near us!
331
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,360
[sobbing]
332
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,760
[Karen moaning]
333
00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:08,920
-Your call.
-[Karen sobbing]
334
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,359
Joe!
335
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,760
[Karen weeping]
336
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,960
[weeping] I don't...
337
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,800
Being a dad was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
338
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,520
He used to say marrying me
was the best thing.
339
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,240
Yeah, he'd be lying.
340
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:29,440
Just wait till the time comes, son.
This surge, this wall of emotion,
341
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,080
like you've never experienced
before in your life.
342
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,040
It'll happen the second
you clap eyes on them.
343
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,320
[Lillian] It was three months
before I could
344
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,880
even squint at my Rodney.
345
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,440
The midwife gasped when he came out.
346
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,360
I'll just give Karen a call.
347
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,360
Hey, make the most of it
while you can.
348
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,480
[Patrick] It'll be your last party
for a few years.
349
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,160
Karen'd call if she needed ya.
350
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,680
No!
351
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,200
[gunshots]
352
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,200
[people cheering]
353
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,240
[yelling, laughing]
354
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,960
-Right, drop 'em!
-[yelling]
355
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,280
[in despair]
Where the fuck is the ambulance?
356
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,640
Come on, come on, try and stay calm.
357
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,960
What did they tell you to do
in your classes?
358
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:17,240
[groaning]
359
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,000
I'll go see where they are.
360
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,360
[Karen] Don't leave me!
361
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,880
[groaning] It's coming!
362
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,320
[groaning] I'm scared, Joe. [crying]
363
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,120
I'm scared.
364
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,840
I'm scared! [crying]
365
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,160
This is your last chance.
366
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,680
This is your last chance!
367
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,680
You say the word and we disappear.
You, me, and baby.
368
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,560
We get away from this place,
get away from them.
369
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,680
You deserve better than this, Karen,
and you know it!
370
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,000
[grunts in pain]
371
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,880
[groans]
372
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,200
Jamie! [screams]
373
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,760
[Karen crying in pain]
374
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,840
-[arguing in distance]
-[indistinct chatter]
375
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,960
-What the fuck?
-[Karen panting]
376
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:23,360
-[baby babbling softly]
-[mellow music]
377
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,120
Meet your son.
378
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,000
[baby babbling]
379
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,080
Joe.
380
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,000
Thank you.
381
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,800
Oh, my God, he's beautiful.
382
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,880
[baby crying]
383
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,200
Where's Stella?
384
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,320
I'm not her father.
I'm the 11-year-old kid, remember?
385
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,000
-When did you last have her?
Kelly's got her.
386
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,000
Eh?
387
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,920
-Happy belated birthday!
-There's mud on the wheels.
388
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,400
Yeah, I had to ride it.
Delivery van broke down.
389
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,680
Fuck. All right, it's knock-off,
but if you scratch off the serial number,
390
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,600
and give it a re-spray,
it'll be as good as new.
391
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,160
How can I afford a new one?
392
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,280
Do what every other parent here does.
393
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,280
Catalogue, borrow,
could even try getting a job.
394
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:47,880
-I've got a--
-It's community--
395
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,400
fuckin' service, yeah.
Do you want this or what?
396
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,080
-Yeah.
-Yeah, well, "Thank you, Dad."
397
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,760
-[Frank] What's in for breakfast?
-I've had mine.
398
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,040
[Libby] Byron...
399
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,440
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
400
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,120
Good to see you again. You all right?
401
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,520
There aren't enough men like you
in the world.
402
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,440
Your wife's a very lucky lady.
403
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:35,920
She's dead.
404
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,040
Dead, dead impressed.
405
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,720
Well, she was, when we were together.
406
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,920
Torn asunder.
407
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,480
Buggered off, yeah.
408
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,240
Not seen you in here before.
409
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,400
Well, I'm just helping me son
with his revision,
410
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,960
getting a few research books, you know.
411
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,240
I'd tell your son
to make the most of this place.
412
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,440
Might not be here much longer
if local government get their way.
413
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:07,560
Oh.
414
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,720
Well, get most stuff online now,
though, eh?
415
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,280
[Libby sighs]
That's no substitute for books.
416
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:21,960
[Libby] Opening, inviting you to turn,
explore, experience...
417
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,600
[Libby] Virginal.
418
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,560
Never forget a good one, do you?
419
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,280
The majority of the Internet's
used for porn.
420
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,800
People would rather watch other people
than make love themselves,
421
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,960
experience all that life has to offer
via a third party.
422
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,720
Anything to stop them engaging.
423
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,040
You're not one of them, are you?
424
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:44,840
Frank.
425
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,680
Are you a doer or a watcher, Francis?
426
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,800
A doer, definitely. Always doing, me.
427
00:22:56,120 --> 00:23:00,120
Do you like to feel the paper, Frank?
428
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,960
Are you a page turner or a mouse scroller?
429
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,760
Let me show you. What you doing tonight?
430
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,240
[nervous sigh] Tonight's an empty page.
431
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,600
I've got a cracking quill. Plenty of ink.
432
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:16,240
This lady doesn't surrender
her favours so easily. [nervous sigh]
433
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,480
-Thrill of the chase, eh?
-[chuckling]
434
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,360
You try to pass yourself off
as a man of integrity,
435
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,720
but for all I know,
you might be a charlatan.
436
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:30,800
-Oh, heaven forfend.
-[giggles] So, prove yourself.
437
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,440
Frank.
438
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,320
Down. Down.
439
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,920
Thank you all so much.
440
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,160
It's great, cheers.
441
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,520
Where did you get it from?
442
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,440
Here and there.
443
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,400
We're wetting the baby's head tonight.
444
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,000
-We'll see how we go, eh?
-I'll be there.
445
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,640
Maybe you should get some rest.
446
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,720
And maybe you should stop telling me
what I can and can't do.
447
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,600
If I can't celebrate him
coming into the world, who can?
448
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,160
[baby crying]
449
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,520
I just came to drop a present off.
450
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,360
Cheers.
451
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,280
[baby crying]
452
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:28,320
There's a party later to celebrate
the arrival of the little fella.
453
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,560
You'll be there.
454
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,760
-I don't know, Paddy, uh--
-I do.
455
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,720
[Paddy] You brought my grandson
into the world, safe and sound.
456
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,320
Who knows what might've happened
if you hadn't been there.
457
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,560
-Sure.
-Cheers, mate. I'll be there.
458
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,400
Okay, everybody, and before our star turn,
459
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,600
we can announce the winner
of the guess the weight competition.
460
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:58,960
It's Micky Maguire.
461
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,080
-Yes! In your face!
-[people clapping]
462
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,440
[Mimi] Seven pound, four ounces.
463
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,920
Well done. There's your fifty quid.
464
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,720
[people clapping]
465
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,520
[indistinct chatter]
466
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,080
[soft mellow music]
467
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,960
-That's exactly the reaction I was after.
-Don't know what you mean.
468
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,240
You were out after me
in less than a minute.
469
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
Don't flatter yourself.
470
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,560
[Jamie] Karen?
471
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,920
Come on, just about to do the toast.
472
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,280
To our son.
473
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,960
Connor Joseph Maguire.
474
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,440
[all] Connor Joseph Maguire!
475
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,440
Connor Joseph Maguire.
476
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,040
["Donegal Express"
by Shane MacGowan & The Popes]
477
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,920
[indistinct chattering, laughing]
478
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,400
-[Liam] Nin rang.
-What the fuck?
479
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,400
She wants to see you.
480
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,360
I don't want to see her, old bitch.
481
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,400
She asked me to bring ya,
and I'm bringing ya.
482
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,640
All right. Liam, Liam, wait, wait!
483
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:13,240
Look, I can't stand it over there.
The sight of Jonty makes me fucking heave,
484
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,320
and there's this, like, this smell--
485
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,440
She's giving me a lecture
on how to succeed in life,
486
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,200
I've got to sit there listening to that.
487
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,040
If I've got to suffer, so have you.
488
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:24,320
-I've got a date, I'm on a promise.
-She can wait.
489
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,520
[Frank] Fuck!
490
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,000
I was hasty when I saw you last time,
491
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,600
unfeeling, and for that, I apologise.
492
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:40,680
I just... It was like-- [sighs]
Me whole life was crashing in around me.
493
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,880
I'm not interested
in your sob stories, Vernon.
494
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,840
Nothing you can say
I haven't heard before.
495
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,040
No, but life's on the up now, Nin.
496
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,600
Yeah!
497
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,000
[laughing]
498
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,280
I met someone.
499
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,800
Someone special, you know, decent,
500
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,040
and she makes me feel
like I want to change,
501
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,920
be a better man, you know?
502
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,840
Has he dropped any E's lately?
503
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,760
Clean as a whistle. Got a date later.
504
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:09,800
[giggles]
505
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,440
Pass me my bag, will you, Liam?
506
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,160
Ta.
507
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,320
So, you think she's the one, eh?
508
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:20,960
She's one of the ones.
509
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440
[Frank] I have never felt this way before.
510
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:24,840
I feel younger.
511
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,320
[Frank] You know, optimistic,
energised, positive.
512
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,720
You know?
513
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,720
Take her somewhere special. Go on.
514
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,480
Cheers, Nin. I will.
515
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,440
Liam, get me a glass of water, will you?
516
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,040
And the tablets on my bedside table.
517
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,840
Thank you so much for this, Nin.
518
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,560
Think of the cash as payment.
519
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,400
For what?
520
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,760
For being my witness.
521
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,320
[gunshot]
522
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,080
Fucking hell! No! No!
523
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:06,200
They're gonna ask who did it,
and you're gonna tell 'em it was me.
524
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,320
You just...
525
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:14,040
Fu... Fucking selfish... or what?
I'm gonna be late for Libby now.
526
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:17,760
Is Liam okay?
527
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,080
He's ten, for God's sake.
He shouldn't be here.
528
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,480
He's fine. And he's eleven.
529
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,520
-I need to see him, check he's okay--
-You're going nowhere.
530
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,800
Look, I've been through a nightmare here.
531
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:36,120
My son, my te... eleven-year-old son
has seen things no kid should see.
532
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,400
You're expecting us to believe
that a frail old lady, in her 80s,
533
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:40,640
killed her own husband?
534
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,040
Look, Nin... [sighs]
535
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,960
She was under an incredible
amount of strain, looking after a man
536
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,400
who didn't know his arse from his elbow,
537
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,720
and couldn't wipe either
if he wanted to, right?
538
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:59,400
She tried, with no back-up
from anti-social services,
539
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:05,200
no meals on wheels, no help at all, and...
540
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,800
You're not thinking Liam did it?
541
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,880
We're thinking you did.
542
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,480
So where did Joseph come from?
543
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,240
Granddad.
544
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,240
Granddad Joey.
545
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,280
Treated me like a princess.
546
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,720
When Mam and Dad
were at each other's throats...
547
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,560
I dunno, it must have been a telepathy.
548
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,200
He'd come round,
and he'd take me away from it all.
549
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,520
He made me feel special.
550
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,840
I just thought that'd be nice.
551
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,680
If I ever find out you're lying, Karen...
552
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:05,960
[door closes]
553
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,960
About fuckin' time!
554
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,680
They had to wait for forensic.
Had to check the gun for prints.
555
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:23,680
They're building the gallows in there,
giving pissin' Pierrepoint a ring!
556
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:24,600
[Frank] And you!
557
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,760
Why were you so slow in telling them
what happened?
558
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,080
-[Ian] Hang on a minute!
-Ouch!
559
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:32,640
[grunts]
560
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,240
Bus fare?
561
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,000
[slamming]
562
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,360
[reciting] She walks in beauty
563
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:02,000
Like the night of cloudless climes
564
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,760
And starry skies
565
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,520
[both] And all that's best of dark
566
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,960
And bright meet in her aspect
567
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,720
And her eyes... thus mellowed
568
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,040
To that tender night
569
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,320
Which heaven to gaudy day denies
570
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,520
[chuckling]
571
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,600
-Hardly a glass slipper.
-I'm hardly prince charming.
572
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:31,880
[giggles]
573
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,240
It doesn't bother you, does it,
that that I've got kids?
574
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,520
I mean,
I can always trace their mum and...
575
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,160
You're all give, give, give, just like me.
576
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,000
Wouldn't mind a turn at taking.
577
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:49,560
Hey, how about we learn together?
578
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,400
I want passion, Frank.
Excitement, adrenalin.
579
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,440
I want to wake up
not knowing what the day has to offer,
580
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,720
and if you can't give me that,
then you're not the man for me.
581
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,760
I am that man.
582
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,680
Talk's cheap.
583
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,440
How about we dance naked
till the sun comes up?
584
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,760
I'm due at work at eight,
585
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,880
and there's the protest
straight after tea.
586
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,000
No... Oh, the library protest, yeah.
587
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,680
I will not be ignored, Frank.
Not this time.
588
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,080
Let's make the bastards sit up
and take notice.
589
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,720
Let's not wave our banners
but set the place alight.
590
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,360
Ask for them to leave our library alone?
No, we tell them!
591
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,480
We dictate the conditions.
592
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,560
This is our moment
to shape history, Libby.
593
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,000
-You with me?
-I want you.
594
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,200
Now.
595
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,160
Toilet. Two minutes.
596
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,480
You want adrenalin, excitement?
597
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,360
Leg it.
598
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,920
[hip drum music]
599
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,120
-[Frank] No one in? Husband?
-[Libby] Not married. [moans]
600
00:34:11,199 --> 00:34:13,560
-[Frank] Kids?
-[Libby] No.
601
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,480
Is that biology or opportunity?
602
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,080
Combination of the two.
603
00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:22,719
[Frank] What the fuck is this?
Fuckin' hell!
604
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,679
I'm not your first, am I?
Cos I don't think I've got the time to--
605
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,560
No, it's just that this particular book's
not had its spine bent in quite a while.
606
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,239
"One shade the more, one ray the less.
607
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,000
Had half impaired the nameless grace
608
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:53,600
which waves with every raven tress,
or softly lightens o'er her face."
609
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:54,760
[moaning] Oh!
610
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:57,600
Look, just...
611
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,680
I thought
you were a man of passion, Frank.
612
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,680
Well, I've had my moments, yeah.
613
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,120
So, surrender.
614
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,360
Well, it's pretty hard
waving the white flag
615
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,480
when your concentration's being tested.
616
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:10,760
Oh!
617
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,840
-"Where thoughts...
-Oh, yeah!
618
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,800
...serenely sweet express how pure,
619
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,560
-how dear their resting--"
-Oh, just... Hang on.
620
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,800
Oh, fu...
I'm sorry, it's just not happening.
621
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:29,640
It's hard for me to maintain, you know,
interest with you droning on Byronically.
622
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,440
Please, Frank.
623
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,560
Please.
624
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,200
Oh, yes!
625
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,920
Oh, let me have it!
626
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,880
Let me grab your soul away!
627
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,800
-Let me have it!
-Oh, for fuck's sake!
628
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:54,520
[passionately] "You know it's me, Cathy!"
629
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,200
[moaning and screaming]
630
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,840
[romantic classical music ends]
631
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:02,920
Oh, fuck!
632
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,080
[screams loudly]
633
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,040
[grunts loudly]
634
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,160
[tiger roar]
635
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,280
I thought she'd died.
636
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,560
She's narcoleptic.
637
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,040
Nod off at the drop of a hat.
638
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:32,240
There are certain triggers,
excitement being one of them.
639
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,680
But don't flatter yourself.
640
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,680
She passes out on a regular basis
watching Britain's Got Talent.
641
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,400
[Patty] Now get that drunk and go.
642
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,800
-I wouldn't mind seeing how she is.
-[Patty] You won't be seeing her again.
643
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,720
You're no good for her
and she's no good for you.
644
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,640
-I like her.
-You don't know her.
645
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,360
-I like what I know.
-She'd shag anything.
646
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,280
You're not that special,
no matter what she told you.
647
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,520
It smacks of sincerity to me.
648
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,320
Did she tell you of her broken engagement?
649
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,280
The half-cast lad from Liverpool,
650
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,120
who married another woman
so he could inherit a fortune,
651
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,560
broke our Libby's heart.
652
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,320
Yeah, she told me on the way over here.
That's Scousers for ya.
653
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,240
[Patty] It's the plot of
Wuthering Heights!
654
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:13,000
Hasn't got a life of her own,
so she lives other people's.
655
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,120
[Patty] Told me once she was up the duff.
656
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,360
Taken advantage of by a local landowner
after a charity dance.
657
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,560
I said, "You stop right there, lady."
658
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,120
Tess Of The D'Urbervilles
had been on the telly the week before,
659
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,800
and it had addled her brain.
660
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,160
[spoon clinks]
661
00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:32,080
Thanks for the tea.
662
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,680
Forget her. Move on. It'll end in tears.
663
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,320
And what's that the plot of?
664
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,720
-I want better for my daughter.
-You want better for yourself,
665
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,240
cos you know if she got a life of her own,
666
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,600
yours is as good as over.
667
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:44,720
I'm her anchor.
668
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,640
Millstone.
669
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,080
She'd be lost without me.
670
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,400
She'd thrive without you!
671
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,000
I'm warning you!
672
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:57,400
She's the first bit of light I have had
in my grey life for a very long time,
673
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:03,560
and if you think I'm going to let you
cast your wizened, selfish, gnarled,
674
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,280
bitter little shadow over this,
you are sadly mistaken.
675
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,680
You don't scare me.
676
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,160
Ditto. Now fuck off, Ironside.
677
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:15,920
[screams in fright] [breathing heavily]
678
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,840
Oh, how are you?
I haven't seen you for donkey's.
679
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,360
I'm great, Nin.
It's you I'm worried about.
680
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:30,280
Oh, me? Don't you worry about me.
681
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,760
I know what I'm doing.
682
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,000
[Liam] We wanted to make sure
you were okay.
683
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,520
Fine.
684
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,640
I'm fine.
685
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,160
Oh, I know some people think
what I did was wrong,
686
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:46,520
but... Jonty had no real quality of life,
which meant I didn't either.
687
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,160
We had a word with your lawyer.
688
00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:51,920
He reckons you could be out in two years.
Extenuating circumstances.
689
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,040
You can come and stay with us.
690
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,720
I like it here.
691
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,640
It's warm. My room-mate's very nice.
692
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:02,040
And they do courses! Imagine!
693
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,920
Nin, you don't have to stay.
694
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,760
-With good behaviour--
-[Nin laughs] I'm a Gallagher.
695
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,320
We've never been one for behaving.
696
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:14,040
All I've got to do
is make sure I never get out.
697
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:15,600
Never.
698
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,480
[hip drum music]
699
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:19,960
[clattering]
700
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,880
Now that's your cue to get out.
701
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,240
[alarm bell ringing]
702
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,120
[indistinct arguing]
703
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,440
[laughs]
704
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,760
[Yvonne sighs] No credit.
705
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,360
Explain.
706
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,840
The only time I see you
with a smile on your face
707
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,200
is when you're after something.
708
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,920
And aren't we a proper
little ray of fuckin' sunshine?
709
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,200
-What are you on?
-Nothing.
710
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,880
-High on something.
-[Frank] Life.
711
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,000
Love. Should try it.
712
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,280
Seven seventy-five.
713
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,760
You may not have
the empire of a Shirley Porter,
714
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,880
the business acumen of a Lord Sainsbury,
715
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,400
your establishment
has the aesthetic appeal
716
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,240
of the Beirut branch of Netto, but...
717
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:27,040
you still have the love
of a good man, agreed?
718
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:28,880
Well. Yeah.
719
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,960
What more do you need?
720
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,320
[Frank] Thank you.
721
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,560
Oh, you fucking cu...
722
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,720
[moaning]
723
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:51,400
[moaning]
724
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,880
[indistinct TV chatter]
725
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,800
Sorry about the bike.
726
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,680
Put the feelers out for another one, eh?
727
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,960
Does nothing ever trouble your conscience?
728
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,120
Hey... listen, son,
729
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,560
I negotiate my way
through life's moral maze with ease.
730
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,600
So... Hey!
731
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,240
For the demo.
732
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,800
All this effort. Hope she's worth it.
733
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,840
[Frank laughs]
734
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,440
Yeah, yeah, she is.
735
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,800
Makes little Frank feel like
he's seventeen again.
736
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,120
[exhales]
737
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,200
Hang on, hang on!
738
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,120
Something you don't know
anything about yet, sunshine,
739
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,600
is the union between a man and a woman.
740
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:51,360
I've known about it for years,
the walls in this house are paper thin.
741
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,760
Yeah, but you never experienced it.
742
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,840
Came close.
When we shared that bunk in Pwhelli.
743
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,480
You see, I've met someone who...
744
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:08,400
who inspires, ignites,
lights a flame in my soul.
745
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,440
And goes like a rabbit.
746
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,200
Yeah, that too, yeah.
But, you know, this is different.
747
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,280
You know, it's in its infancy,
748
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:24,800
but I know that it's something
that I want to pursue,
749
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,320
you know, nurture.
750
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,480
[laughing]
751
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:33,320
How do I look?
752
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:35,480
Desperate.
753
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:40,800
[bell ring]
754
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,440
[brakes squealing] [screeching]
755
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:43,840
What do you think?
756
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,280
Thirty-five, like you said.
757
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,760
Ouch!
758
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,240
What do we want? Libraries!
759
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,720
When do we want them? Now!
760
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:59,400
What do we want? Libraries!
When do we want them? Now!
761
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,080
More reading, less breeding!
762
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,320
More reading, less breeding!
763
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,040
The rover returns!
764
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,640
You can't get rid of me that easily,
I know where you live.
765
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:17,600
What do we want? Libraries!
When do we want them? Now!
766
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,600
From the second I set eyes on you.
I knew you were the one.
767
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,320
Do you believe in destiny, Frank?
768
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:27,720
Well, I'm more of a random sequence
of events man, meself,
769
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,440
though I can see the attraction
770
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:34,480
of believing that certain happenings
are preordained, yeah.
771
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:36,520
[glass shutters]
772
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,520
[Libby] Fucking bastard!
773
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:39,440
[man] Shit!
774
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:43,000
Send for backup! Get the TAU now!
775
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,480
[people screaming]
776
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,640
-[alarm]
-Listen to me, Frank.
777
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:07,040
This is it, our moment to shape history!
778
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,800
It's our moment to do a runner.
779
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,760
Take this time and shape it, Frank.
780
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,640
Make a stand, make a mark,
do something that matters.
781
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:17,760
Stay, Frank.
782
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,600
I'll make it worth your while.
783
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:22,360
[Libby screams] Oh!
784
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,680
[glass breaking]
785
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:33,120
[dramatic music]
786
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,040
[sirens]
787
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,720
-[Libby] No!
-[Frank] No!
788
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,400
[Libby] Frank!
789
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:01,640
[Frank] Libby!
790
00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:02,960
[Libby screaming] Frank!
791
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,480
[Frank screaming] Libby!
792
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,640
Fuck's sake, Dad.
793
00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:17,680
Apologising to coppers, assuring them
you'll keep out of trouble in the future?
794
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,840
Well, I'm sorry for having a pulse,
795
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,920
thinking there's a cause
worth fighting for,
796
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,600
for not thinking about myself
but for the greater good.
797
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,200
So did you get your end away?
798
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,080
It was a bit public.
799
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,000
Where is she?
800
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,640
She won't get bail. She won't get out.
801
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,760
At least not for a good few months.
802
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:47,800
Is she worth waiting for?
803
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:00,520
Come on.
804
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:01,960
[Liam] On reflection,
805
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:06,360
I'd say there's a certain amount
of selfishness necessary for survival.
806
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,640
Like when you're flying,
and they say in the safety demo:
807
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:13,040
"In the event of a decompression,
help children and others,
808
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,000
only after you've put on
your own oxygen mask."
809
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:17,720
You've got to look after yourself
810
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,640
before you can even begin
to look after others.
811
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:23,520
It's all about balance. That's the trick.
812
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,520
Get that right, and you've cracked it.
813
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,800
Once upon a time, there was a king.
814
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,480
I want Manchester to know
815
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,760
that Maguire and Sons
are back in business.
816
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:38,040
This is Back Door Bertie,
our mutual fuck buddy.
817
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:39,880
Start small. Work your way up.
818
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,160
Heard the latest from your mother?
We've been dumped as godparents.
819
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,040
I didn't do it to hurt Kelly, son.
820
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,040
[sobbing]
821
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,440
-[grunting]
-Who the fuck am I?
822
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,080
I'm here about my dad. He's missing.
823
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,520
[urinating]
824
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,320
-[party hooter blows]
-[laughs]
825
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:57,960
I'm a prostitute, Father.
I don't actually believe in God.
826
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,080
You've got...
827
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,040
[gunshot]
828
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,920
[lambs baaing]
829
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,680
Lamb stew, lamb hotpot, lamb curry.
830
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,480
Don't you think
we should have a bit more variety?
831
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:51,720
I'm trying to make sure
832
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,280
that they have a bit of meat
and two veg inside them.
833
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,160
[lambs baaing]
834
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,600
[shotgun blast]
61343
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