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1
00:00:00,794 --> 00:00:03,407
Kids, when you reach your late
20s you might be surprised
2
00:00:03,417 --> 00:00:06,407
to discover you still don't
have life quite figured out.
3
00:00:06,417 --> 00:00:07,984
Like with Aunt Lily.
4
00:00:07,994 --> 00:00:10,097
Even though she was back
from San Francisco,
5
00:00:10,107 --> 00:00:12,164
she was still on a
quest to find herself.
6
00:00:12,174 --> 00:00:15,315
It's just that all I've ever
done is teach kindergarten.
7
00:00:15,325 --> 00:00:17,744
I want to get out there
and change the world.
8
00:00:17,754 --> 00:00:20,307
I want to find my passion.
9
00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:21,981
And she did find it.
10
00:00:21,996 --> 00:00:23,741
I'm going to be a life coach.
11
00:00:23,753 --> 00:00:25,891
In fact,
she found it again and again.
12
00:00:25,903 --> 00:00:28,553
I'm going to be a
marine biologist.
13
00:00:29,109 --> 00:00:31,873
...slam poet.
...beekeeper!
14
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,703
Not a beekeeper.
15
00:00:35,316 --> 00:00:37,581
Her newest lifelong dream?
16
00:00:37,596 --> 00:00:39,711
Singing in a punk rock band.
17
00:00:39,725 --> 00:00:41,490
What is she doing for
money through all this?
18
00:00:41,525 --> 00:00:43,831
Oh, she's been waiting
tables at Big Wave Luau.
19
00:00:43,846 --> 00:00:45,432
Wait, you mean that
Hawaiian place
20
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,651
where they wear those
embarrassing outfits?
21
00:00:48,036 --> 00:00:49,461
No.
22
00:00:51,337 --> 00:00:53,350
Here she comes. Here she comes.
23
00:00:53,808 --> 00:00:57,202
Welcome to Big Wave Luau.
May I tiki your drink order?
24
00:00:57,215 --> 00:00:58,702
Aw, crap.
25
00:00:58,718 --> 00:01:00,033
I'm sorry.
26
00:01:00,047 --> 00:01:02,123
Oh, hi, Lily.
We were just in the neighborhood,
27
00:01:02,135 --> 00:01:04,841
thought we'd get some lunch.
We didn't even know you'd be here.
28
00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:09,250
What do you want?
29
00:01:09,268 --> 00:01:11,200
Oh, I don't think that's
how you're supposed to greet
30
00:01:11,235 --> 00:01:14,222
a customer at Big Wave Luau.
31
00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:19,691
Aloha, island visitors.
32
00:01:19,737 --> 00:01:23,290
The big wave brought
you to our humble luau.
33
00:01:23,308 --> 00:01:27,293
For that, we thank you.
Or in my native tongue, mahalo.
34
00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:31,273
I didn't catch your name.
Did you guys catch her name?
35
00:01:31,287 --> 00:01:32,693
No.
36
00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:34,733
My name is Anuhea.
37
00:01:34,748 --> 00:01:36,753
It means cool and fragrant,
38
00:01:36,766 --> 00:01:39,802
much like any of our
12 specialty drinks.
39
00:01:40,505 --> 00:01:42,172
Robin, nothing to add?
40
00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:44,993
No. Lily is my friend and I'm
not going to make fun of her
41
00:01:45,008 --> 00:01:46,521
for trying to
follow her dreams.
42
00:01:46,538 --> 00:01:48,130
Thank you.
43
00:01:48,247 --> 00:01:50,660
Although, you might want to
bring out the big Hawaiian drum
44
00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:53,200
because I'm pretty sure
today's my birthday.
45
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:54,753
Birthday girl!
46
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
47
00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:12,527
I have never needed beer
more than I do right now.
48
00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,748
I thought you said your semester
was gonna be a piece of cake.
49
00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:17,135
I remember because you were eating
a piece of cake at the time
50
00:02:17,172 --> 00:02:20,136
and you said, "Dude,
my semester is gonna be this."
51
00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:21,398
Yeah, well,
it was supposed to be,
52
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,198
but my professor's like the
toughest grader I've ever seen.
53
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,106
She had like a bad
divorce this summer
54
00:02:26,123 --> 00:02:28,047
and now she's taking
it out on us.
55
00:02:28,061 --> 00:02:30,317
To tell you the truth,
I think she just needs to get laid.
56
00:02:30,353 --> 00:02:31,467
Really?
57
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:33,016
Laid, you say?
58
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:35,905
You wouldn't be into her.
She's, like, in her late 40s.
59
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,275
She hot?
60
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,148
Yeah, I guess she's
kind of hot, yeah.
61
00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:40,617
And she's looking
for some action.
62
00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:43,968
Sounds to me like she
could be a cougar.
63
00:02:43,983 --> 00:02:45,748
- A what?
- A cougar.
64
00:02:45,761 --> 00:02:48,317
An older woman,
usually in her 40s or 50s,
65
00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:51,618
single and on the prowl
for a younger man.
66
00:02:51,632 --> 00:02:54,856
What's a woman in her 60s or 70s--
a turtle?
67
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:58,335
Marshall, I've thought it over
and I accept your challenge.
68
00:02:58,353 --> 00:03:02,277
- I didn't challenge you to have sex...
- Tomorrow, the cougar hunt begins.
69
00:03:03,131 --> 00:03:05,347
So, I quit my job.
70
00:03:05,442 --> 00:03:07,048
I just couldn't
take it anymore.
71
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:10,738
Approximately 50 times a day,
some guy asks me for a lei...
72
00:03:10,751 --> 00:03:12,295
Classic.
73
00:03:12,321 --> 00:03:15,607
Ted, didn't you tell me they need
a new assistant in your office?
74
00:03:15,882 --> 00:03:17,078
Yeah.
75
00:03:17,092 --> 00:03:19,205
Somebody did just quit.
76
00:03:19,223 --> 00:03:21,706
So, where should we eat today?
77
00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:26,977
Oh awesome,
you brought lunch for everyone?
78
00:03:32,753 --> 00:03:35,325
Dude, that is cold-blooded.
79
00:03:35,342 --> 00:03:37,098
It was an honest mistake.
80
00:03:37,112 --> 00:03:40,087
Look, when somebody opens up a
container with an entire chicken in it,
81
00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:42,717
it's okay to assume they
made lunch for everyone.
82
00:03:42,731 --> 00:03:45,205
Ted, that girl didn't quit.
You destroyed her.
83
00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:47,907
It was an whole chicken.
84
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,486
And did I mention
she had 12 sides?
85
00:03:49,503 --> 00:03:52,705
Oh, now you're gonna bash her figure.
Real classy, Ted.
86
00:03:52,722 --> 00:03:55,197
So, Lily, what do you say?
Do you want the job?
87
00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:56,707
What would I be doing?
88
00:03:56,721 --> 00:03:59,306
Basically, you're sort of
a general office assistant.
89
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,227
You'll sit there.
My station is right over here.
90
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,906
And things are a little
bit crazy right now
91
00:04:03,942 --> 00:04:06,008
'cause we're pitching a new
building to a big client.
92
00:04:06,042 --> 00:04:08,217
- Oh, right, is that the...
- Yeah.
93
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:09,867
Here's the model.
94
00:04:11,891 --> 00:04:15,888
You weren't kidding.
It really does look like a giant penis.
95
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:16,957
I know.
96
00:04:16,971 --> 00:04:19,575
For whatever reason, Mr.
Druthers just doesn't see it.
97
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,077
How can he not see it?
98
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:22,508
- I mean there's the...
- I know.
99
00:04:22,522 --> 00:04:24,045
- And the way it...
- I know.
100
00:04:24,061 --> 00:04:26,498
- And the two little...
- I know.
101
00:04:26,512 --> 00:04:29,666
- Wow, it is just...
- Spectacular?
102
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,066
Why, thank you.
103
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,586
Lily, this is Mr. Druthers,
the head architect on the project.
104
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:35,505
Lily's going to be our
new office assistant.
105
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,506
- Ah.
- Nice to meet you.
106
00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:38,996
Isn't it?
107
00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:41,905
Ted, I looked at your design
for the penthouse balcony.
108
00:04:41,923 --> 00:04:45,258
Tell me,
do you want to be an architect?
109
00:04:45,342 --> 00:04:48,196
I, uh... I am an architect.
110
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,436
Really?
111
00:04:49,451 --> 00:04:52,365
Well, my six-year-old
nephew plays with Legos.
112
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,626
Is he an architect?
113
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:58,928
Well, not unless he somehow
passed all his licensing exams.
114
00:04:58,941 --> 00:05:01,136
Ted, you've got promise.
115
00:05:01,153 --> 00:05:03,605
But you have to study
what I do more carefully.
116
00:05:03,621 --> 00:05:07,295
Now I want you to design
some Styrofoam trees
117
00:05:07,312 --> 00:05:09,068
for the building model.
118
00:05:09,081 --> 00:05:11,156
- Think you can handle that?
- Absolutely.
119
00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:15,146
Good. So you're going
to design the...
120
00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:18,198
- Styrofoam trees.
- Once again-- with feeling.
121
00:05:19,093 --> 00:05:22,255
- Styrofoam trees.
- Styrofoam trees!
122
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:24,348
- Styrofoam trees!
- That's the spirit.
123
00:05:24,362 --> 00:05:25,995
Now, gather 'round.
124
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:33,327
This isn't just about trees, Ted.
This is about life.
125
00:05:33,343 --> 00:05:37,128
And sometimes in life,
you have to get the trees just right
126
00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:39,026
or you're fired, hmm?
127
00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:46,565
Man, that guy is
a total, well...
128
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:53,408
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
That's Professor Lewis's office there.
129
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:55,708
Okay, let's take a look.
130
00:05:58,353 --> 00:06:02,235
Oh, yeah,
it's a cougar all right.
131
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,465
A prime specimen.
132
00:06:04,993 --> 00:06:09,318
See, you can identify a cougar
by a few key characteristics.
133
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,916
Start with the hair.
134
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:13,255
The cougar keeps up
with current hairstyles
135
00:06:13,282 --> 00:06:15,468
as a form of camouflage.
136
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,356
The prey may not realize
that he's engaged a cougar
137
00:06:18,373 --> 00:06:20,878
until he's already
being dragged, helpless,
138
00:06:20,893 --> 00:06:22,467
back to her lair.
139
00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:24,916
Now, the blouse.
140
00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:27,888
The cougar displays
maximum cleavage possible
141
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:30,238
to captivate her prey.
142
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,446
If you're watching them bounce,
143
00:06:32,461 --> 00:06:34,728
she's about to pounce.
144
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,778
See the claws?
145
00:06:36,788 --> 00:06:39,396
Long and sharp,
146
00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:41,828
to ward off rival females...
147
00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:44,288
or open alimony checks.
148
00:06:45,211 --> 00:06:48,727
Yeah, this one's a beaut.
149
00:06:51,731 --> 00:06:55,085
Okay, let the hunt begin.
150
00:06:55,103 --> 00:06:57,267
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm not so sure I'm comfortable
151
00:06:57,281 --> 00:07:00,287
with you hunting my
constitutional law professor.
152
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:03,167
Who do you rather have
grading your papers--
153
00:07:03,183 --> 00:07:07,005
a savage,
man-eating jungle cat,
154
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:10,908
or a purring, satisfied kitty?
155
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:14,918
Go, Barney.
156
00:07:14,931 --> 00:07:18,058
Go mount and stuff that cougar.
157
00:07:20,801 --> 00:07:25,577
Scusi, I am Luigi,
Italian exchange student.
158
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:29,306
I was, uh, walking to class,
159
00:07:29,322 --> 00:07:32,228
but then I noticed you...
160
00:07:32,383 --> 00:07:34,525
bella principessa...
161
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,946
Tell me what you
want or get out.
162
00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:38,336
Direct.
163
00:07:38,352 --> 00:07:39,978
I like that.
164
00:07:39,991 --> 00:07:41,585
The name's Barney.
165
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,988
What I want... is you.
166
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,447
Turn around.
167
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,955
My place. Two hours.
168
00:07:54,743 --> 00:07:56,285
Don't be tardy.
169
00:07:58,531 --> 00:08:01,605
I can't believe how Mr.
Druthers treats people.
170
00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:04,977
And that building?
Talk about overcompensating.
171
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,408
He's not usually this bad.
172
00:08:06,421 --> 00:08:07,957
It's just that the partners
have made it very clear
173
00:08:07,991 --> 00:08:09,837
this project is make
or break for us,
174
00:08:09,853 --> 00:08:12,146
so lately he's been
a little testy.
175
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,557
You know what I
mean-- crotchety.
176
00:08:16,543 --> 00:08:19,187
I'm just saying it's
been hard on him.
177
00:08:19,203 --> 00:08:20,975
All right stop.
178
00:08:21,473 --> 00:08:23,825
- Did you show Lily your design?
- No.
179
00:08:23,842 --> 00:08:25,417
- What design?
- It's nothing.
180
00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:26,795
It's fantastic.
181
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,208
Just for fun,
Ted's been working on his own design.
182
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,746
And it doesn't look at
all like male genitalia.
183
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:34,498
At least,
not healthy male genitalia.
184
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:36,928
Ted, you should pitch your
building to Druthers.
185
00:08:36,943 --> 00:08:39,276
Are you kidding?
He's Hammond Druthers.
186
00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:41,826
He's a legend.
I'm just part of his team.
187
00:08:41,842 --> 00:08:43,188
This building is
huge for the firm,
188
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:45,516
so it's really important
we don't blow it.
189
00:08:45,932 --> 00:08:47,895
All right, enough.
190
00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:52,765
Oh, my God. Incredible.
191
00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:55,728
Hmm... C-minus.
192
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,546
C-minus? What are
you talking about?
193
00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:02,055
I just pulled an all-nighter!
194
00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:04,466
You didn't budget
your time well,
195
00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:07,408
you glossed over some of
the most important points,
196
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:10,717
and your oral presentation
was sloppy and inconclusive.
197
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,765
Mr. Druthers asked if
you were making the trees
198
00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:18,448
or waiting for them to
sprout on their own.
199
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:22,137
Then he stared at
me until I laughed.
200
00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:24,325
Okay, I'm done.
201
00:09:24,341 --> 00:09:26,638
Great. I'll put the paints away.
You just go show him.
202
00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:28,258
Great. Thanks.
203
00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:31,786
Well, finally.
204
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,426
I wondered whether you
were making the trees
205
00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:37,508
or waiting for them to
sprout on their own.
206
00:09:40,053 --> 00:09:41,945
Good one, sir.
207
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,156
Anyway, here they are.
208
00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,938
- Too green.
- Too green?
209
00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:51,917
Yes, the leaves should really be
more of a natural brown color.
210
00:09:51,932 --> 00:09:53,275
Almost brunette.
211
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:57,487
And think bushier.
I want this tower to rise
212
00:09:57,503 --> 00:10:01,637
from a thicket of wild,
ungroomed, brunette shrubbery.
213
00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:03,686
Can you picture it, Ted?
214
00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,988
I can't un-picture it.
215
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,735
Good.
216
00:10:08,701 --> 00:10:10,576
Oh, my God.
217
00:10:10,592 --> 00:10:11,676
It's gone!
218
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,366
What? What's gone?
219
00:10:13,383 --> 00:10:17,175
My baseball signed three
times by Pete Rose.
220
00:10:17,211 --> 00:10:19,765
Well, it's got to be
around here somewhere.
221
00:10:19,783 --> 00:10:21,055
What do you think, Ted,
222
00:10:21,073 --> 00:10:24,825
it just let itself out of its
plastic case and rolled away?
223
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,815
Somebody stole it.
224
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:29,938
Well, um, I better get back
to these Styrofoam trees.
225
00:10:29,952 --> 00:10:32,018
Oh, who cares about the trees?
226
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:35,537
It's just busy work to make you
feel like you're contributing.
227
00:10:35,621 --> 00:10:37,855
Inspiring as always, sir.
228
00:10:39,231 --> 00:10:40,735
Lily?
229
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:45,338
Where's she put those paints?
230
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,096
Hey.
231
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:04,796
Hey. Um, Lily,
question for you.
232
00:11:04,813 --> 00:11:06,778
Why did I find
Mr. Druthers' baseball
233
00:11:06,793 --> 00:11:09,678
signed three times by Pete
Rose in your desk drawer?
234
00:11:09,693 --> 00:11:11,595
That's easy. I took it.
235
00:11:11,612 --> 00:11:12,595
Why?
236
00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:14,318
It's simple.
237
00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:17,917
I can't believe there's no
horseradish for the roast beef.
238
00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:22,225
I guess you were sick the day they
taught that at Sandwich University.
239
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:29,928
Mother, no one from the nursing
home is stealing from you.
240
00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:32,885
I didn't get you a
birthday present.
241
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,807
What? You gonna cry?
242
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:44,496
Little crybaby's going to cry?
243
00:11:44,512 --> 00:11:46,016
Hey, everybody, look!
244
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:49,338
The little crybaby's gonna cry!
245
00:11:51,482 --> 00:11:53,977
I lost my ice cream!
246
00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:57,497
Okay, I may have
exaggerated that last one,
247
00:11:57,513 --> 00:12:00,295
but the point is, he was mean.
248
00:12:00,311 --> 00:12:02,635
And that's why I
took away his ball.
249
00:12:02,781 --> 00:12:04,948
What does his ball have
to do with anything?
250
00:12:04,962 --> 00:12:07,908
Druthers has to be taught
he can't behave like that.
251
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,818
When I was teaching kindergarten,
whenever a kid was mean,
252
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,868
I would take away
one of his toys.
253
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:14,768
The kid would be
upset at first,
254
00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:17,466
but then he'd learn
to stop being mean.
255
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:19,088
Hey, guys. What's going on?
256
00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:22,107
Lily stole my boss' baseball
signed three times by Pete Rose.
257
00:12:22,122 --> 00:12:23,837
Why? Was he being mean?
258
00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:25,408
- You know about this?
- Yeah.
259
00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:27,716
It's her own personal
form of justice.
260
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,495
Did you tell him about
that time at the Gap?
261
00:12:29,511 --> 00:12:30,715
Oh, that was a good one.
262
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:32,676
This sales guy
was rude to Robin,
263
00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:34,246
so I took a pair of khakis.
264
00:12:34,262 --> 00:12:36,266
I gave them to you
for your birthday.
265
00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:38,456
So I've been walking
around in stolen khakis?
266
00:12:38,473 --> 00:12:41,237
I prefer to call them
"justice khakis."
267
00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:43,957
That's not justice.
It's shoplifting, and it's a crime.
268
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,798
So is being mean.
269
00:12:45,812 --> 00:12:47,966
Lily, your little system
doesn't even make sense.
270
00:12:47,981 --> 00:12:50,156
In kindergarten,
the kid knew why he was being punished.
271
00:12:50,191 --> 00:12:52,355
Druthers just thinks
someone stole his ball.
272
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,186
Well, that's why I left a note.
273
00:12:54,202 --> 00:12:55,688
- A note?
- Yeah.
274
00:12:55,703 --> 00:12:58,575
When he finds it, he'll understand
why his ball was taken away,
275
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,125
he'll stop being mean,
276
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,665
and the office will be
a nicer place to work.
277
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,618
Maybe he'll even be open
to hearing your ideas.
278
00:13:05,632 --> 00:13:07,705
Look, Lil, we're all tolerating
279
00:13:07,722 --> 00:13:10,505
this prolonged nervous
breakdown you're clearly having,
280
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,605
with the punk band and the
beekeeping and the petty larceny,
281
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,055
but this is my career
you're messing with.
282
00:13:16,073 --> 00:13:18,378
I'm not sure I like your tone.
283
00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:19,957
You know what?
284
00:13:19,971 --> 00:13:22,117
Now you just lost the ball.
285
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,736
Hey.
286
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:29,885
I'd ask you how last night went,
but we had a pop quiz today.
287
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,838
Nobody got higher
than a C-minus.
288
00:13:31,851 --> 00:13:33,658
I know, I know.
289
00:13:33,671 --> 00:13:35,178
You claim to have so much sex.
290
00:13:35,192 --> 00:13:37,326
I only assumed
you'd be good at it.
291
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,678
Look, I miscalculated.
292
00:13:39,691 --> 00:13:43,448
I thought she'd be old and fragile,
like most cougars.
293
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:45,638
But kitty's got claws.
294
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:47,396
Don't worry though.
295
00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:48,767
Tonight, I'm seeing her again.
296
00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:51,075
Just let it go, man.
You're making things worse.
297
00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:54,636
I promise you, after tonight,
that cougar will be my pet,
298
00:13:54,651 --> 00:13:57,358
and I its master.
299
00:13:57,531 --> 00:14:00,846
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
300
00:14:01,512 --> 00:14:04,595
Oh, God.
That wasn't your first time, was it?
301
00:14:05,472 --> 00:14:08,206
Although that would
explain a lot.
302
00:14:08,422 --> 00:14:11,678
What? No. We had sex yesterday.
303
00:14:11,693 --> 00:14:14,427
Oh, right. That.
304
00:14:15,261 --> 00:14:17,808
Well, you had sex yesterday.
305
00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:20,718
I revised my syllabus
for the spring semester.
306
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:25,686
When Druthers goes
to get his bagel,
307
00:14:25,703 --> 00:14:28,117
I'll go in, grab the note,
put the ball back.
308
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,747
If something goes wrong,
309
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,268
yell out, "Who wants espresso?"
310
00:14:32,282 --> 00:14:34,325
so I'll know he's coming.
Got it?
311
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,736
Okay, now give me the ball.
312
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,866
- No.
- What do you mean, no?
313
00:14:37,882 --> 00:14:40,287
I mean I stand by
what I did, Ted.
314
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,516
Come on, Lily.
We're running out of time.
315
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,456
Everybody get in here now!
316
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,185
Who wants espresso?
317
00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:55,445
Now, as most of you know,
318
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:59,188
my Pete Rose, Pete Rose,
Pete Rose baseball has been stolen.
319
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,738
Well, I just found this note.
320
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:05,377
"Dear Mr.
Druthers, I, your baseball, am leaving.
321
00:15:05,393 --> 00:15:07,695
Maybe, if you start being nice,
I'll come back.
322
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:10,965
If not, other things in your
office may follow my lead.
323
00:15:10,982 --> 00:15:13,847
In fact,
I overheard your iPod talking,
324
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:17,236
and he may shuffle
off at any minute."
325
00:15:17,863 --> 00:15:21,566
Normally, I would scream at
everyone until my voice goes,
326
00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:25,186
but maybe that's the
wrong reaction here.
327
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,568
Interesting.
328
00:15:26,581 --> 00:15:30,306
Instead, I'm giving my baseball
until the end of the day
329
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,805
to decide he's homesick,
330
00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:36,046
or, tomorrow morning,
I'll begin firing three people an hour.
331
00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:40,015
And, if the thief
doesn't believe me, well,
332
00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:43,135
then you are gambling
more than Pete Rose--
333
00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:45,038
major league baseball's
all-time hit leader,
334
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:47,617
a man whose absence from the
Hall of Fame is a travesty
335
00:15:47,631 --> 00:15:52,376
to the entire sports world--
ever "allegedly" did!
336
00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:57,038
Wow. Looks like bye-bye, iPod.
337
00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:01,755
Give him his ball
back right now.
338
00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:03,207
People are going to get fired.
339
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:06,158
No, they're not.
It's just a tantrum, Ted.
340
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,337
I saw this in kindergarten
all the time.
341
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:09,828
This isn't kindergarten.
342
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,225
Mr. Druthers is an adult,
and he wants his ball back.
343
00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:16,516
All right, I'll give it back
if you show him your plans.
344
00:16:16,532 --> 00:16:18,695
No. You'll give it
back or you're fired.
345
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:20,235
I'm sorry, Ted.
I just can't do that.
346
00:16:20,253 --> 00:16:22,456
Then you're fired.
347
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:24,898
Fine.
348
00:16:26,231 --> 00:16:28,055
Here's the ball.
349
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,098
At least you have one now.
350
00:16:34,631 --> 00:16:36,506
Dude, you're killing me.
351
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:40,166
You didn't tame the cougar.
You just made her angrier.
352
00:16:40,183 --> 00:16:43,826
Do you not see the
PowerBar in my hand?
353
00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:45,718
I'm fueling up.
354
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:47,686
So you're going
back over there?
355
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:48,818
Oh, yeah.
356
00:16:48,831 --> 00:16:51,566
And tonight,
just like John Mellencamp,
357
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:55,306
I am going to get rid of the
"Cougar" once and for all.
358
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,056
Get it?
359
00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:59,508
'Cause that's what he
did with his name.
360
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:12,108
I can't stop
thinking about you.
361
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:14,078
Please give me another chance.
362
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:15,507
Barney, I teach all day.
363
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:18,187
It's the last thing I want
to do when I get home.
364
00:17:18,732 --> 00:17:21,358
But you don't understand.
See, I've been going easy on you,
365
00:17:21,371 --> 00:17:24,556
holding back, 'cause I was afraid
you'd break a hip or something.
366
00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:26,808
But, this time, no mercy.
I don't care how long it takes--
367
00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:30,906
days, weeks, half a year.
368
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,068
Fine. Come in.
369
00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:37,136
You can start while I
finish grading some papers.
370
00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:42,057
Hurry up.
Clients will be here any moment.
371
00:17:42,073 --> 00:17:44,626
Now, slide it closer
to his chair.
372
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:48,238
I want this thing to really
smack him in the face.
373
00:17:48,773 --> 00:17:51,725
Mr. Druthers, thank you again
for understanding about Lily.
374
00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:54,036
Oh. Well, I pity her.
375
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:57,927
I mean, to steal from my office and
then write that slanderous note...
376
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:01,898
You might say that Lily
was mentally deranged.
377
00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:04,507
You might say that, Ted.
378
00:18:07,190 --> 00:18:09,108
Lily was mentally deranged.
379
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,376
You might even say it loud
enough for everyone to hear.
380
00:18:14,311 --> 00:18:16,565
Lily was mentally deranged!
381
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:20,925
Oh! That's a bit harsh,
don't you think, Ted?
382
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:23,175
The clients are here.
383
00:18:23,193 --> 00:18:24,886
Excellent. Bring them in.
384
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:29,265
Our client was a major bank and
financial services company in Spokane.
385
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,617
They wanted a modern
skyscraper that still captured
386
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,568
the distinct flavor and
history of the Northwest.
387
00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:37,398
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
388
00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:41,127
the Spokane National
Bank Building.
389
00:18:43,681 --> 00:18:46,117
That's a penis!
390
00:18:47,783 --> 00:18:50,327
That's... that's ridiculous.
391
00:18:50,341 --> 00:18:53,345
There's no way this majestic
tower can be confused
392
00:18:53,362 --> 00:18:56,087
with the male organ of love.
393
00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:58,297
We're not building a penis.
394
00:18:58,463 --> 00:19:00,946
You got any other ideas?
395
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:03,587
Other ideas?
396
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,736
You said you wanted
Hammond Druthers.
397
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:08,446
This is Hammond Druthers.
398
00:19:08,461 --> 00:19:11,355
Well, hats off to
your ladyfriends,
399
00:19:11,372 --> 00:19:13,708
but I'm not building it.
400
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:15,887
We're done here.
401
00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:19,127
The trajectory of my entire
career might have been different
402
00:19:19,143 --> 00:19:23,108
had I not unwittingly worn
my justice khakis that day.
403
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,678
Wait!
404
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,915
We have one more idea for you.
405
00:19:27,930 --> 00:19:29,797
Ted, what are you doing?
406
00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:31,256
I have another design.
407
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,565
Sit down, shut up right now.
408
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:34,936
No.
409
00:19:34,951 --> 00:19:38,905
# Thank you for the invitation #
410
00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:41,616
# She showed me very nice... #
411
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:44,458
To Ted! The youngest person
to ever design a building
412
00:19:44,471 --> 00:19:47,335
over 70 stories probably!
413
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,798
Probably!
414
00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,086
Congrats, Ted.
415
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,726
Hey, thanks for telling me
to stand up to Druthers
416
00:19:54,743 --> 00:19:56,308
and pitch my idea.
417
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,036
Seriously, none of this would have
happened if it weren't for you.
418
00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:01,357
Oh. You know what, Ted?
419
00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:02,857
That was very nice.
420
00:20:02,873 --> 00:20:05,716
You have earned
these screws back.
421
00:20:05,731 --> 00:20:09,108
Don't sit in your desk chair
until you've put them back in.
422
00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:11,926
Hey, I'm project manager now,
423
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:14,146
so, if you want your
old job back...
424
00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:15,675
No, thanks.
425
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:19,485
I think I figured out what
I want to be when I grow up.
426
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,697
Casey, that's not
how we treat people.
427
00:20:25,713 --> 00:20:29,025
You'll get this back when
you learn to be nice.
428
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:44,356
- Barney! Oh, my God!
- What happened?
429
00:20:45,198 --> 00:20:47,474
He broke his hip.
430
00:20:48,151 --> 00:20:52,174
That's not true.
It's just temporarily dislocated.
431
00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:53,365
Seriously, I'm fine.
432
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,544
No, he's not fine.
433
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,355
Professor Lewis, hi.
434
00:20:57,371 --> 00:21:00,753
Mr. Eriksen. Hello.
I graded your paper tonight.
435
00:21:00,771 --> 00:21:03,956
I was pleasantly surprised.
436
00:21:03,968 --> 00:21:06,065
Yeah, she was.
437
00:21:06,128 --> 00:21:08,083
B-plus.
438
00:21:08,469 --> 00:21:10,533
B-plus?!
439
00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:14,193
Marshall, after I've gone through
my eight weeks of physical therapy,
440
00:21:14,208 --> 00:21:16,725
I am going to get you that "A"!
441
00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:18,594
Let her go.
442
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,253
She belongs out
there in the wild.
443
00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:24,123
You should feel proud.
444
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:27,546
You fought the
cougar and lived.
445
00:21:27,591 --> 00:21:30,303
It was an amazing safari.
446
00:21:30,318 --> 00:21:33,695
I can't wait to show
you guys the slides.
447
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:37,745
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com
448
00:21:38,305 --> 00:21:44,766
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