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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,360 [intro music] 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,520 [Frank] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:18,560 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives they were given 4 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,040 by him upstairs. 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,360 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:30,840 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 7 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,880 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 8 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,240 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented. 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:42,920 To calm us all down and stop us going mental. 10 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,200 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 11 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,360 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 12 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,840 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 13 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,720 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 14 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,400 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 15 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,600 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 16 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,760 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 17 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,040 [laughing] [cough] 18 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,320 Scatter! 19 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,800 Party! 20 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,080 [eerie music] 21 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,760 [Frank] Forget your tracker mortgages and your ISAs, 22 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,720 your pension schemes, saving for a rainy day, 23 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,120 you know, planning for your old age. 24 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,880 Chances are you'll be off your fuckin' trolley anyway, 25 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,960 brain ravaged by dementia. 26 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,600 You'll have all that money in the bank but won't be able to remember 27 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,080 which fuckin' bank you put it in. 28 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,600 And even if you did, 29 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,480 some shitbag politician will claw the lot back in taxes. 30 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,960 So, enjoy the here and now, 31 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,280 this day, this minute, this second. 32 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,960 Carpe diem, I say. 33 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,840 Well, not me, you know, Seneca, to be precise. 34 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,800 Seize the day. 35 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,440 Well, some of it. Obviously need to get some time out 36 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,720 for a few scoops, bit of shut-eye, bit of how's your pater, 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,920 but you get my drift, yeah? 38 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,480 Drop 'em. 39 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,320 I said, drop 'em. 40 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,800 [James Bond theme] 41 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,400 -[Jamie] Say my name! -Oh! 42 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,040 Oh! Seven... and a half! 43 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,040 [gunshot] 44 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,720 [James Bond theme] 45 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,760 [Frank groans] 46 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,200 -[mumbles] -[Debbie] Oh, for God's sake! 47 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,720 Just pay attention a minute, we need to sort out Liam's trip tomorrow. 48 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,880 Are you gonna come or not? 49 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,720 There needs to be a parent present and I don't want-- 50 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,720 Norm, have you got any thick sticky tape? Only I want to strap this to me thigh. 51 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,560 What's going on? 52 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,720 Right, show it me! 53 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,240 [Carl] Give it to me! Pass it here, pass it here! 54 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,520 Debbie! 55 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,080 [Debbie] Dad, hide it! 56 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,720 [all] No! Not the school gerbil! 57 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:00,880 [indistinct shouting] 58 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,200 [Debbie] Okay, okay! 59 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,400 Look, I entered Liam into a competition, and he's down to the last three. 60 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,800 [microwave beeps] 61 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,360 -Blackpool. -Tomorrow. 62 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,600 It's to be the face of a nationwide ad campaign, 63 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,600 but they do a few test shots, see how he looks, make their decision. 64 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,040 If he wins, they do the shoot there and then. 65 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,399 And how come I was the last to know? 66 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:25,400 We didn't think you'd approve. You know, exploitation of a minor an' all. 67 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,560 Well, look what child stardom did to the Artful Dodger from Oliver. 68 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,440 You know, and then there's poor Nicholas Lyndhurst. 69 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,040 Well, he's not dead. 70 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,720 Yeah, but have you seen the fuckin' state of him? 71 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,000 And I get paid if I win. 72 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,560 So... what time do we leave? 73 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,800 [Liam sighs] 74 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,320 You're in sunny lbiza and we're off to Blackpool! 75 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,240 I know, yeah, gutted for you. 76 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,600 You'll walk it, Liam, mate. All the best, pal. 77 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,520 [door opens] 78 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,880 Stella's due a feed, bottle's in the fridge. 79 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,800 Now it's Liam's big day tomorrow, so he needs an early night. 80 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,920 You could do with one too, you look like death warmed up. 81 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,240 Bye, Monica! 82 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,000 I want us all making a good impression! 83 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,440 This could be the start of something for Liam, 84 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,680 chance of a future without minimum wage, stamped all over it. 85 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,720 [Ian] Hiya, Mum! I can hear you a mile off. 86 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:18,640 Ah! 87 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,840 I meant to text ya! 88 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,120 I know what those Mediterranean types can be like, straight, gay or bi, 89 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,320 I imagine they're all the same, so use a condom. 90 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,320 Out! 91 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,320 And no matter how much they might try and convince you otherwise, 92 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,960 don't swallow! 93 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,560 [Liam] Can you catch an STD through oral? 94 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,120 [James eme] 95 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,880 -[indistinct chatter] -[music playing] 96 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,800 [Jamie] All right, Lillian? 97 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,200 You okay? 98 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,080 Think it's just a bit of wind. 99 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,440 I know it's gonna be a late one, but if you stick to regulars only, 100 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,040 and keep the music down, we'll turn a blind eye. 101 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,480 Nice one, Stan. 102 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,640 [tapping] She's got the hots for you there, Micky. 103 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,920 Oh, not my type. 104 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,920 It's got a fanny, what more your type do you need? 105 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,040 Go on, buy her a drink. 106 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,480 -Aw... -If he doesn't want to! 107 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,200 Once he gets a little sniff of her, 108 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,480 his brain'll switch off, and his cock'll kick in. 109 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,360 Guaranteed! 110 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,000 [Kelly and Carl laugh] 111 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,400 Mayday. 112 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,240 -Eh? -View To A Kill. 113 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,920 -And you are...? -Er, Micky. 114 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,960 I mean, right, yeah... 115 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,000 Daniel Craig, innit? 116 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,800 Er... James... 117 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,120 Casino! 118 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,160 I need a slash. 119 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,560 -Vast improvement, Frank. -[mumbling] Fuck off! 120 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,520 -I could do you for that. -[mobile rings] 121 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,040 -In your dreams. -Evenin', all! 122 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,600 -[Tom] Stan, Stan! -Tom? 123 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,040 [Tom] They've got me, the lock-ups, back of Stansfield Road! 124 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,960 5-7-0-5 to base, backup required! 125 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,840 I was hoping that wasn't all padding. 126 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,960 Oh, look, I'm sorry. I can't! 127 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,800 I mean, I'd love to, but... 128 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,960 me girlfriend's at home, pregnant, you know what I mean, 129 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,360 with triplets and that, she's due any sec...fuck me! 130 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,560 [giggles] You wait your turn. 131 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,840 But how did you know I was... you know, how could you tell I--? 132 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,640 You were the only man in there, other than me, 133 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,840 who knew all the words to "Diamonds Are Forever." 134 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,840 Now... what's on offer? 135 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,200 I'm packing eight. 136 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,320 And we're talking lmperial, not metric, if you get my [in pain] drift! 137 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,880 [James Bond theme begins] 138 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,400 [breathing nervously] 139 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,440 [suspenseful music] 140 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,840 [shouting] Aargh! 141 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,720 Oh, no, no! Fuck! 142 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:45,680 [sobbing] Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! 143 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,840 Fuck! Fuck! [slamming] 144 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,400 [chuckling] 145 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,200 [panting] [giggling] 146 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,280 -[indistinct chatter] -[music playing] 147 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,280 There's Pinky and Perky! 148 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,760 -Your cozzy's spot on. -Thank you. 149 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,000 -Same again? -Yeah. 150 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,040 Give the lad a hand. 151 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,000 -I just wanted to see you again. -Well, it isn't exactly the best place. 152 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,760 Please, go! I'll call you. 153 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,240 What? What! 154 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,760 I'd forgotten how nice your smile was, that's all. 155 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,320 [people laughing] 156 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,520 [clapping] 157 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,320 See you tomorrow, yeah? And wear something casual. 158 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,880 And don't forget to shave. 159 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,080 Have a break. I'll check on you when it settles. 160 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,240 Sexiest women on the estate. 161 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,640 I only made it to number 17? 162 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,840 It's all down to points, apparently. Face, tits, arse, legs. 163 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,520 Yeah, my Kelly's got all of them. 164 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,520 And what do you mark the blokes out of, then? 165 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,320 Personality, intelligence? 166 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,080 Length, girth, stamina, if you must know. 167 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,200 Which is the reason why my little black book's so fuckin' empty. 168 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,200 -[Kelly laughing] -What's the S stand for? 169 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,640 If I've shagged 'em. 170 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,320 B for a blow job, W for a wank, F for finger. 171 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,520 What's UTS, then? 172 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,520 Up the shitter. 173 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,280 Micky, look after the bar for five minutes, will ya? 174 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,680 I'm on a night out! 175 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,240 Harry Potter? 176 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,280 Cock off, Harry Potter! 177 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,840 I'm Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye! 178 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,560 Listen, no freebies and no credit. 179 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,800 Leave 'em on. Put 'em on, they look good. 180 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,040 [ominous music] 181 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,720 [Jamie] Karen! 182 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,720 Ambulance, quick! 183 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,840 [indistinct chatter] 184 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,200 Me and you, son, we'll go in the ambulance. 185 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,560 -I'll get the car, follow with the boys. -What about this place? 186 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,600 Leave it with me. 187 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,520 [Carrie] No, no. Panic over, panic over. 188 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,760 [Tom] Idiot, wasting our time. 189 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,560 How'd you get to be this childish? 190 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,320 Ask Stan, he started it. 191 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,120 Salt in my tea, porn mags in my file. [chuckling] 192 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,360 You're lucky I didn't leave you there all night! 193 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,200 They pulled that unit from a near riot in Ancoats for you. 194 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,320 First thing you do, go grovel to the Super. 195 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,760 -Second, find Stan and apologize. -He'll be fine. 196 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,160 [chuckling] You know Stan, he's probably watching us now, 197 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,720 pissing himself laughing. 198 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:24,760 [sighs] Bar person, another three pints, on my tab. 199 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,920 Cash only tonight, pal. 200 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,760 Worth a try. 201 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,800 [puffing] 202 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,160 Jesus, it's like a morgue in here! 203 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,040 [music playing over the radio] 204 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,480 [Frank] Oh, fuck me! Bang on cue, Goldminger. 205 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,200 Oh, you look great, Lillian. 206 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,480 Must've taken a bit of time to get all that together. 207 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,680 [Lillian] No, I've had this for years. Used to wear it for my Brendan. 208 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,600 -[Monica] Oh? -[Lillian] You know, Sunday nights, like. 209 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,760 [slam] 210 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,800 [machines beeping] 211 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,320 -She'll be okay. -I hope so. 212 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,960 I didn't even know you were trying for a baby. 213 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,960 -We weren't. -Course you weren't. 214 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,160 No Maguire man tries for a baby. I only had to hang my kecks on the bedpost 215 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,160 and your mother was up the spout. You'll all be the same. 216 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Well... 217 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,360 Have you been to the toilet? 218 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,240 -[Liam] Mhm. -Good lad! 219 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,560 [Frank] I'm all dressed up, you know? 220 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,200 [Debbie] No, come on! Where you going? Out! 221 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,160 -What do you mean, "Where you going?" -No, not that way! Out! 222 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,360 [Frank] Bloody hell! 223 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,960 We'll go via the A roads. 224 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,040 [Frank] Fuck! That'll take forever. 225 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,360 No, it'll be nice driving round the countryside. 226 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,560 [Frank] We've got three hours to get to Blackpool, 227 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,000 we're taking a longer route, for what, aesthetics? 228 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,280 [engine running] 229 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,840 [Frank] Am I being ignored here? 230 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,440 I'll take that as a yes. 231 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,360 Guys! 232 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,800 [Stella cries] 233 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,720 [pensive music] 234 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,040 [tires screeching] 235 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,040 Shit! 236 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,600 [Paddy] Full Irish. 237 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,760 White pudding, the lot. 238 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,120 I don't wanna be eating any of that hospital food, 239 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,320 end up in a fuckin' coma. 240 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,080 -Thanks, Mam. -How is she? 241 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,880 The doctor said she should be discharged this morning. 242 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,000 And she's okay? 243 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,040 Yeah, she will be. 244 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,400 [Paddy] Brings it all back. 245 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,320 You lose a child, your life's never the same. 246 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,160 We'll wait for her, bring her home together. 247 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,280 Show her we care, that the whole family's behind her. 248 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,640 -She doesn't like much fuss, Mum. -Or says she doesn't. 249 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,880 But at a time like this. 250 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,240 I tell you what might be a better idea, Mam. 251 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,880 How's about we go back and get pub ready, eh? 252 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,720 Your mother says we wait, we wait. 253 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,040 But Karen's not gonna wanna come back to... 254 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,920 Well, you know? No-one's cleaned up yet, have they? 255 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,080 You're right. We've got things to do. 256 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,640 We'll make sure the flat's spick and span. 257 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,320 [kiss] There won't be a pin out of place. 258 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,160 [soft music] 259 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,720 [grunting] 260 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,880 God, you're still glowing like you've had a fortnight in Chernobyl. 261 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,200 Do you think we should flick it with some Holy Water? 262 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,040 You know, in case he's still there? Give him a bit of a send-off? 263 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,560 There's not gonna be much of that here, is there? 264 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,080 Could get some soda water or summat, I'll give it a blessing. 265 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,280 [Micky] Ugh! Aargh! 266 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,200 You two all right? 267 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,720 Fine, thanks. 268 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,680 We got you one with a mattress protector on it, 269 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:47,000 so if you have any mishaps in future you just give it a quick wipe, sorted. 270 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,600 Sorry, mate. 271 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,680 I... 272 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,720 I know what it is you're going through, mate. 273 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,920 You reckon? 274 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,960 Kelly had that phantom pregnancy, remember? 275 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,480 Felt like I'd been robbed. 276 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,760 Beaten senseless and... robbed. 277 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,040 And no one knows that pain, mate. 278 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,520 Unless you've been there, that is. 279 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,240 You should've said. 280 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:17,160 -Not like you could've done owt, is it? -[sighs] No. 281 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,560 We could go out for a drink sometime, couldn't we? 282 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,319 -Head into town, maybe? -Yeah. 283 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,680 Yeah, that'd be good. 284 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,000 [Jamie] What's with the fucking flowers? 285 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,320 I know this couldn't have come at a worse time. 286 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,200 [Paddy] The lad you left in charge last night... 287 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,720 Joe? 288 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,480 We checked the safe. It's empty. 289 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,440 God knows how much of you took over the bar last night. 290 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,720 I've not seen people knocking 'em back like that in a long while. 291 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,760 Straight to voicemail. 292 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,080 [Mimi] Tried ringing Mandy. 293 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,320 She's not answering. Wait till I get my hands on her. 294 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,840 You stupid, stupid bastard! 295 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,040 I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. 296 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,640 -It was a joke! -A joke? 297 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,320 Led Stan to believe you'd been murdered just to get one up on him? 298 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,080 I'm as disgusted as you are. 299 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,040 I tried his mobile earlier, he isn't picking up. 300 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:01,240 Well, he might answer when he sees it's me. 301 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,640 -[mobile rings] -[door opens and closes] 302 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,800 [Yvonne] Stan? 303 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,960 -[screams in panic] -[Yvonne] No, It's okay! 304 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,320 [Tom] I'm not dead! 305 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,440 -Stan, it was a joke! -[Carrie] It was a wind-up! 306 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,680 Where've you been? We've all been worried sick. 307 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,600 [gagging] 308 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,680 -I think you'd better go. -[Carrie] Call me, when he starts talking. 309 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,800 [Tom] Stan? Mate, I'm sorry! 310 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,240 -[Yvonne and kids cheering] -Well played! 311 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,760 [laughing] 312 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,240 You two keep your mouths shut, 313 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,520 and there'll be plenty more where that came from. 314 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,000 -[Stan] Round one to us, I think! -Thank you! 315 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,640 [kiss] 316 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,880 [engine stops suddenly] 317 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,360 Norma, we've got less than two hours to get there! 318 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,640 You think I don't know that? 319 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,640 Well, call the breakdown services. 320 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,400 My membership ran out a month ago. 321 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,720 Well, look, let's pool our resources and see how much we've got, eh? 322 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,760 We won't have enough. 323 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,440 And even if we had the cash, time's totally against us. 324 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600 -Great! -Debbie! 325 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,720 I'm sorry! 326 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,160 Just imagine... Liam's whole life could've changed, 327 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,160 [snaps fingers] just like that. 328 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,840 Happens, doesn't it? 329 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,080 I said I'm sorry. 330 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,080 His chance to escape... that place. 331 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,000 Those people! 332 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,720 We are those people. 333 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,840 [smacks lips] 334 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,240 [kid] Oh! 335 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,200 [tense music] 336 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,640 -It was a joke! -[punch] 337 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,000 There's plenty of time for kids. 338 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,960 You're both young, healthy... Plenty of time. 339 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,920 Mam, I'm all right, honest. 340 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,760 [mobile beeps] 341 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,320 [Liam] Ah, yes! 342 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,040 Hey, no smoking! Can't you read? 343 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,880 Yeah, that's why I don't work in a fuckin' café. 344 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,960 [mouthing] 345 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,960 [Frank] So what now, Einstein? 346 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,280 We'll need a fucking miracle to get there on time. 347 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,800 [heavenly music] 348 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,040 [heavenly choir chanting] 349 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,880 [Frank and Norma arguing] 350 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,360 [imitates driving] 351 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,440 [engine starts] 352 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,720 Norma! Norma, it's started! 353 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,440 [Norma] All, come on! 354 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,440 [Frank] Heh, heh! Loaves into fishes! Water into wine! 355 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,680 -[Monica] Wait! -[tires screeching] 356 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,200 -[Frank] Blind men can see! -Wait! 357 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,600 [Frank] City win the league! -[Monica] Wait! 358 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,280 Hurry up! 359 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,840 For fuck's sake! 360 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,080 [Monica gasps deeply] Oh, I'm shagged out! 361 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,600 Hey, Blackpool, here we fucking come, mate! 362 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,240 The wailing wall's gone, thank fuck. 363 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,040 I said your mam's gone. 364 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,240 We need crisps, cheese 'n' onion and cashews. 365 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,000 Jamie... cheese 'n' onion and cashews. 366 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,840 -I'll get down the cellar. -We're out. 367 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,200 -Cash 'n' carry, then. -No time. 368 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,800 Nip round to Yvonne's and see if she can sub us. 369 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,600 You are all right about all this, aren't ya? 370 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,600 Yeah, fine. 371 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,520 Wasn't like it was planned. 372 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,680 If it had've been, I'd be gutted. 373 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,520 We got things to do, places to see. 374 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,040 It's gonna be a lot easier doing that round-the-world trip 375 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,240 without a nappy bag and a buggy, eh? 376 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,640 I know I've never really talked about it, but, well, kids, 377 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,720 cards on the table, Jamie, 378 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,520 I've never really wanted any. 379 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,320 -You? -[sniffs] No. 380 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,040 -[kiss] -Crisps, yeah? 381 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,760 Thought I'd get this back to you before you sent the sniffer dogs out. 382 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,680 Got your messages. 383 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,880 And the other eleven from my mother. 384 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,920 Nice to be trusted. 385 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,400 -Sorry, things've been, you know-- -No matter how they are, 386 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,800 I'd never rob my own brother. 387 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,760 I'm just glad to see the back of it. I haven't slept all night. 388 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,360 -And the till roll's in there. -Nice one, Joe. 389 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,760 -I'm sorry, Sis. -Forgiven. 390 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,360 Best phone Mum and Dad, let them know you've surfaced. 391 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,640 Listen, if you're not doing anything, 392 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,480 I could do with a hand getting this place ready for tonight. 393 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,440 Sure. 394 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,680 And cheers for last night, man, you're a lifesaver. 395 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,560 And I'm sorry too, mate. 396 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,000 I don't really know what to say, but... 397 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,760 A kid would've just cramped me style. 398 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,960 -I said I'd give Jamie a hand. -It'll have to wait. 399 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,280 -We need to be somewhere. -Where? 400 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,520 Jamie and Karen should be here by now. 401 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,480 Mandy's been in touch. They're not up to it, God help them. 402 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,040 Hit them hard. Knew it would. 403 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,640 [Micky] Mam... 404 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:28,640 Dad. 405 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,560 This... is my girlfriend, Grace. 406 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,720 -Grace Jones. -Jones? You Welsh, then? 407 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,520 Sorry for your loss. 408 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,440 Thanks. Would you like a drink? 409 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,200 No. I'm all right, thanks. 410 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,880 Seen the size of her feet? 411 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,760 -I thought you said it were a miscarriage? -[Micky] Oh, that? It's symbolic. 412 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,360 Some bollocks more like. 413 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,680 [Yvonne] If you ask me, you've had a lucky escape. 414 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,240 Me? I wouldn't be without mine, 415 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,200 but parenthood isn't all it's cracked up to be. 416 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,640 Look at Angelina and Brad tripping about with their brood in tow, 417 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,600 make it look like a piece of piss. 418 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,560 All flip-flops and cheesecloth. 419 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,000 I'll get you a box back tomorrow. 420 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,640 Hey, you can guarantee, when they're at home, 421 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,160 straight off to the nanny's. 422 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,880 Angie and Brad feet up, couple of cans, watching telly. 423 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,080 Can you imagine her changing a shitty nappy? 424 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,080 Can you? 425 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,080 With those nails, she'd rip their arse to shreds! 426 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,560 [store door opens] 427 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,280 [melancholic music] 428 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:43,920 [slamming] 429 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,680 He used to be so full of life. 430 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,240 Now, since Tom's... 431 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,680 -Prank. -Prank. 432 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,240 It's like... there's a light gone out in his eyes. 433 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,080 [Meena] He's not half the man he was. 434 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,960 [sighs] Don't overdo the tears. 435 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,640 So how much are we making on this? 436 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,960 While Stan's on full wages, 30 pounds a week each. 437 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,280 If he gets compensation, a 10% cut. 438 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,600 Two-week, family holiday a year, Florida. 439 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,720 -But-- -Not open to negotiation. 440 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,640 And a Christmas bonus. 441 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,360 -Yeah, but we don't do Christmas. -Stan does. 442 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,320 Anyway, if it all goes tits up, 443 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,400 it'll be six months in Strangeways for fraud. 444 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:31,760 Sorry. 445 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,000 Nine. 446 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,360 [relaxed music playing] 447 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,000 -What the fuck's that? -[Shane] Pressie for the nipper. 448 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,920 Manchester United? 449 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,720 Fuck that! 450 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,200 -[Shane] Celtic? -Name me one football team from Belfast. 451 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,280 What? 452 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,160 I know it's mental, you know it's mental. 453 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,080 Just go along with it for my sake, yeah? 454 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:38,280 [Mimi] Named him after the patron saint of unborn children, Saint Gerard. 455 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,200 What, Stevie? 456 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:41,960 Gerard Majella. 457 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,440 Someone just told us in the pub. 458 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,760 I didn't believe it. 459 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,640 I don't know why I didn't believe it! 460 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,600 -I thought you'd told them? -How could I tell them? 461 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,000 You knew about this? 462 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,480 I just thought it'd be best to get it out the way 463 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,440 and hopefully you'd never find out. 464 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,040 -You'd never know. -Well, it's a bit late now, innit? 465 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,600 Fuck right off. 466 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,560 That's the grief talking. 467 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,280 -Have you been sniffing your own produce? -You're upset, but watch your mouth. 468 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,560 You gonna let her talk to us like that? 469 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,560 Are you gonna cancel this fuckin' carnival? 470 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:22,880 A child died. 471 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,160 It wasn't at the stage to be a boy or a girl, Dad! 472 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,680 It was a boy. A Maguire's first born is always a boy! 473 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,520 I was three weeks late for my period. For God's sake! 474 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:34,960 This is warped. 475 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,760 Gerard had a soul, and we're saving it. 476 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,400 I should be fucking furious, 477 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,200 but d'you know what? I'm not. 478 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,520 Because I had a lucky escape. 479 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,520 Imagine giving birth to anything with their blood in it. 480 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,320 You'll thank us come Judgement Day! 481 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,880 No grandson of mine's knocking about in purgatory. 482 00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:00,000 I want him at God's side before the Devil knows he's dead! 483 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,720 I was gonna ask them, did they want to put anything in the coffin? 484 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,840 Did you put my pressie and letter in? 485 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,640 I'm sorry, I can't 486 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,720 -But I thought you liked me! -I did... I do. 487 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,880 But this? I never thought I'd say this, but all this? 488 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,320 It's just too fucking weird. 489 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,040 [dramatic music] 490 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,080 [Paddy] Micky! 491 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,360 [upbeat music] 492 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,760 [Norma] I love the seaside. 493 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,240 There's something quintessentially British about it, don't you think? 494 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,960 [Liam] What's quintessential mean? 495 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,120 [Frank] Crap! 496 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,600 [Norma] No, I love it here. 497 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,000 [Monica] It's got a certain charm, but I prefer Lesbos. 498 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,680 [woman] We're delighted you allowed Liam to attend, truly delighted. 499 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,240 -So, er, what are his chances? -Good. Very good. 500 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,600 In fact... 501 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,200 he's the last of the boys to be seen today, 502 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,640 and, well, to be honest, I think the best, facially. 503 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,040 So, is it you who decides? 504 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,680 -It's a joint decision. -[Monica] And when will you make it? 505 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,800 Well, we'll take a few test shots, see how he looks, about half an hour? 506 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,440 Oh, so he could win it? 507 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,920 [woman] Well, it depends on how he reacts in front of the camera, the pressure. 508 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,360 You know, a lot of boys don't like that much attention. 509 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,720 Oh, he loves it, loves being the centre of attention, doesn't he, Frank? 510 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,360 Yeah, a born performer. 511 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,160 And a fantastic face! Tells its own story, don't you think? 512 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,080 [Monica giggles] 513 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,200 [Yvonne] All right, Carl? 514 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,240 -Seventy p, love. -[coins clinking] 515 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,480 [Carl] Sorry... You can keep the change. 516 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:55,800 Five... 517 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,320 -[Yvonne] What? -Er, nothing. 518 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,520 Cheeky bastards, the lot of them. 519 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,480 -They're my family. -That's worse. 520 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,720 I don't want 'em in here, Jamie. I don't want 'em anywhere near me. 521 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,200 -Can't bar them, Karen. -I can and I fucking will. 522 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,840 Wait until you've calmed down before you do anything, eh? 523 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,320 You know, one thing guaranteed to make my blood boil 524 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,040 [yelling] is being told to twatting calm down! 525 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,320 How many out of ten did you give Karen? 526 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,200 Nine. She's fiery! She'd be a right goer. 527 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,640 What did I get? 528 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,720 I'm not in there? 529 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:50,960 Eight out of ten. 530 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:54,960 Five. 531 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,880 But let's see if we can improve on that, shall we? 532 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,880 -[tense tone] -Who the... ? 533 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,280 Oh, since the girls on the estate heard what you were doing... 534 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,080 Six? 535 00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:12,960 [Carl] And Shane's got fuckin' seven? 536 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,480 Me dad's got fuckin' five! 537 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,120 -Whoa, we're losing altitude. Six? 538 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,960 [Frank] Liam, I want us to go for a real sad look now, please. 539 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,760 -[Norma] Sad. Look at the camera. -[Frank] Like Norma. 540 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,880 Shut up! 541 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,239 [Norma] Always witty, Frank. Always witty... 542 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,960 So, um, [clears throat] if Liam's chosen, he'll be the face of what exactly? 543 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,440 A national campaign aimed at highlighting 544 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,600 the misery of a small but significant section of society. 545 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:49,560 Who? 546 00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:51,000 Those without voices. 547 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,080 Westlife? 548 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:53,199 The invisible. 549 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,199 Could you be a little more specific? 550 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:02,160 If Liam is chosen, he'll be giving hope to thousands, maybe even millions. 551 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:05,320 The numbers of those suffering are almost impossible to calculate. 552 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,640 -Suffering what, exactly? -Abuse. 553 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,560 He'll be portraying an abused child. 554 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,640 So, when you look at my son, Liam, that is how you see him? 555 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,920 -Not at all. I see-- -[Monica] A fantastic face, 556 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,440 telling its own story! 557 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,400 Monica! 558 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,200 -I think there's been a misunderstanding. -And what a story! 559 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,400 Knocked about, beaten by his unloving parents, 560 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,400 neglected, without a voice, without hope. 561 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,440 Does he look unhappy? Malnourished? Knocked about? Does he? 562 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,760 I think you're blowing this out of all proportion. 563 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,480 You want a face for a national campaign about abuse? 564 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,000 If you don't get out my fucking way, you'll have one! 565 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,720 Projecting abuse? 566 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,160 He's never been smacked in his life! 567 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,560 People don't take that much notice of faces, Mon, 568 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,480 it's the message that sinks in, 569 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,480 and if Liam's face can help that message get through, who knows? 570 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,920 It could help to save some poor kiddy's life. 571 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,280 Not only that, they said they'd up his fee to a grand. 572 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,760 What? He's got the job? 573 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,760 They've sent all the other lads home. He's just what they're looking for, 574 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:10,760 apparently. 575 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,120 Oh, come on, let's just get this thing done and get home, eh? 576 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,200 [mimicry] 577 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,160 [mimicry] 578 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,480 -Cash! -That's not possible. 579 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,000 Liam, in the van! 580 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,480 Where are we going to raise money with such short notice? 581 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,360 Ha! You've got cash cards, credit cards, expense accounts. 582 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,120 Cash. 583 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,400 [Frank] Come on, Liam. 584 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:38,920 Come on. 585 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,360 The doctor said, as far as Stan's concerned, 586 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,080 he's locked in the moment of discovering you hanging. 587 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,280 So what's the next move? 588 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,320 If I can get him to stop crying for long enough, 589 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,640 I might be able to start talking him round, 590 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:52,640 but until then... 591 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,840 Tell him I'm really sorry, Yvonne. 592 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,960 -I went too far. -I will. 593 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,200 When he's lucid. 594 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,560 [door shuts] 595 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,280 He could lose his job! 596 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,280 That's his fault, not yours! You could've had a piggin' heart attack. 597 00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:16,840 I like having you around. 598 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,600 -Brew? -My turn. You put your feet up. 599 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,280 Okay, and again, please, Liam, right this time, 600 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,560 I want you to imagine your dad's a drunk, an old junkie, okay? 601 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,960 Your mum's run off with someone and you haven't seen her for years, 602 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,000 [camera shooting] 603 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,760 it's just you and your sister all alone at home. 604 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,600 He's just not getting it. 605 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,200 Liam, think of something really sad. Like something terrible's happened. 606 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,760 And a little less panto? 607 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,080 [woman] Any advice? 608 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,840 He's a happy soul, as he should. He takes after me. 609 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,960 Yeah, but if we don't get a shot we can use-- 610 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,960 [woman] Okay, looking this way please, Liam. 611 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,120 That's it, it's brilliant! 612 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,600 [Monica] What did you say? 613 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,320 It worked, didn't it? 614 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,320 Sorry about before. 615 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,520 You know what me mam's like. You okay? 616 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:26,960 I'm fine. 617 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,120 I will be. 618 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,240 It's just kids. 619 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:34,920 I dunno. 620 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,000 There's no law says you have to have 'em. 621 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,160 That's just it. 622 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,720 I don't... 623 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,160 I don't know. 624 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,360 Just not with Jamie. 625 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,120 When I look at him, 626 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,000 he doesn't say "Dad" to me. 627 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,600 I shouldn't be telling you this. You're his sister. 628 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,120 He's a bloke. I'm your mate. 629 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,600 I just don't know what I want any more. 630 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:05,040 I just don't know. 631 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,240 [woman] Well done, Liam. 632 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,960 Even more, if you can find a little bit more... 633 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,680 -Look, can't you just? -[woman] Frank, we're okay here. 634 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,560 [Frank] No, just... Can you just finish up? 635 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,160 -[Frank] The lad's upset. -Nearly there. Just let us get this shot. 636 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,080 [Frank] No, no, I said leave it! 637 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,680 I said, he's had enough! 638 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,120 [Frank] Right? Fuck off! 639 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,200 [camera shooting] 640 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,080 [laughing with joy] Great team we make, eh, son? 641 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,240 Dad did his bit, and got paid into the bargain. 642 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:36,000 [Debbie] Norma, pull over! I'll just nip in and get a bit of steak. 643 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,560 [Monica] I don't really fancy cooking. 644 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,360 No, but I'll cook and you can wash up. 645 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,880 I fancy that even less so, why don't we park and go for a meal? 646 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,000 No, I thought it'd be nice to have the family round the table. 647 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,120 I know you think we should put the cash aside, 648 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,040 in case he wants to go to Oxford or Cambridge, 649 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,120 but 50 quid isn't gonna put paid to that, is it? 650 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,880 -That wasn't the deal. -[Monica] Wasn't aware there was a deal. 651 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,480 [Debbie] We decided, if he gets the job, 652 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,320 he gets the money, and spends it on what he wants. 653 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,920 -How come I wasn't party to that? -Cos you weren't there again! 654 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,520 [Monica] Well, where was I? 655 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,320 [Debbie] Pub, getting your nails done, 656 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,320 getting your hair done, getting your bits waxed? 657 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,440 -[Monica] You're not his mother, Debbie. -And you are? 658 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,040 Oh, stop it, there's no need! 659 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,520 [Monica] Well, come on! 660 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,360 Pizza? 661 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,560 You could get that Wii box you've had your eye on. 662 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,000 That PlayStation, that Xbox, you can get all three if you like. 663 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,200 Well, don't wait up. 664 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:50,760 [mouthing] 665 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,280 [Frank] Carpe diem! Seize the day. 666 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,640 Enjoy it while you can. 667 00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:58,880 But... be careful. 668 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,920 Because, as a truly great poet once said: 669 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,680 "You don't know what you got till it's gone. 670 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,000 And as we all know, 671 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:12,440 once it's gone, there's no getting it back, 672 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,520 even if you wanted to." 673 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,200 [children playing in distance] 674 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,160 Frank! 675 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,960 -Yeah! -[grunts] 676 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,960 [falls to the ground] 677 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:34,560 Bernard White. Benefits officer. 678 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,080 Strangeways, here we come. 679 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,040 What the hell's the benefits officer doing in Debbie's bed? 680 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,880 Ideally, waking up to a new life. 681 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,280 -Maureen? -Patrick. 682 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,640 Now, c'mon, you can untie me now. 683 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:45,760 This is not what it looks like. 684 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,080 -Let's fuck 'em up then. -Yeah! 685 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,680 -You're shit. -You're shit. 686 00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:53,160 -The fuck you staring at? -Could ask you the same question. 687 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,520 -The Irish love singing, don't they? -How the fuck should I know? 688 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,400 [shouting] What did I say to you about language? 689 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,360 He's trying to kill me. 690 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:02,600 Fuck's sake, Micky. I don't give a shit! Just wish you were better at football. 691 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,480 [theme music playing] 692 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,960 [James Bond theme begins] 693 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,360 [gunfire] 694 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:13,760 [slap] 695 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:16,600 [shouts] Ah! 696 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,800 [James Bond theme ends] 52243

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