All language subtitles for Peas & Whiskers (1986).en

It's midday and here are the news.

The British oil tanker that...

PHONE BILL

I won't do your cleaning for you again,
Mr. Ahlhagen!

"THE BODY IS THE BIGGEST PART
WITH A SMALL HOLE FOR THE SOUL"

PYTTAN'S ABCD

You're late.

I'm sorry. Are you going out?

You know I am.

But... our lunch? It's Sunday.

Please, Claes-Henrik!

You know I'm seeing Greta
at Bäckahästen at 12.30 p.m.!

You promised to take care of Tiffin.

-Did you forget?
-Yeah... no, now that you mention it...

Why don't you get a calendar?

You can take mine from last year.

I haven't made any notes in it.

What about our lunch?

Dead God! You'll have to
figure something out yourself.

Jesus Christ!

You have your own home now, remember?

You were in quite a rush to get it.

Your fridge is probably empty.

How's your neck?

Awful. I haven't slept a wink.

You're not the only one.

-Have you paid rent?
-My rent?

Yes, your rent. Obviously.

Yes. Why?

Yesterday, your landlord told me
it had not been paid.

When did you start calling my landlord?

He called me, my dear.

It wasn't the first time,
as you well know.

You told me you were getting paid.

-I was, but it went to shit.
-Language!

What should we do?

-I'll go out and eat as usual--
-No, about the rent!

Oh, that. It'll be fine.

I'm seeing a guy today.
We've got some business.

He's got money for me.

I believe it when I see it.

-Here you go.
-Is it raining?

No.

Do you have to wear that coat?

What's wrong with it?

It's all frayed.
You're walking around like a hobo.

-It's my only coat.
-Buy a new one, then.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes. That's right.

Money doesn’t grow on trees.

Oh, there's the rub.

Just like your father.

Sometimes Mommy comes in handy.

You can take that.

-But you have to spend them on a coat.
-Of course.

Can Mommy have a kiss?

-Where will you go?
-Toward Gärdet, as usual.

That's good. I have to run. Bye, honey.

Tiffin! Here we are.

Here we go.

Little Tiffin...

Here we are.

There.

Waiter!

I'll be there in a jiffy.

I'd like to order.

I'll have today's special
and a carafe of red.

Do you want fish or meat?
I prefer... The meat is usually...

nice here.

You don't always know
what type of meat it is.

I don't want any gravy with it...

-Crille!
-Håna!

-Eats iron and shits chains!
-Eats iron and shits chains!

How are you?

-When did you get into town?
-Yesterday.

You look great!

-Can I have some?
-Of course. Sit down.

Can we have another glass?

-How was the Mediterranean?
-As usual. Stretcher between the bars.

-And the stoves?
-You mean the pipes?

-It was only the pipes.
-Did you sell them?

Yeah, it was perfect. Thank you.

I sold it all on the Balearic Islands.

Yes, we're good.

So we'll get some money into the business?

Oh, Håna.

When will you learn this business?

We can't do it officially.

It will all go on taxes.

So, where's the money?

Invested.

Invested?

In a consortium in Monaco.
I bought shares in a yacht.

Luxury cruises on the Riviera. And you?

I drive a cab at night.

What are you eating?

Coat.

How much money's in the business?

Nothing.

-No on-going projects?
-Yeah, the t-shirts.

Can I have the bill?

-"The heavenly yum"?
-Mm-hmm.

-Nothing else?
-Ice glasses.

A plastic mold. You mold your shot glasses
in ice in the freezer.

No, no! I've checked. You can do
at least two shots in these glasses.

Then you toss the glass in your drink.

With the liquor! Isn't it great?

Yeah, this is exactly where we're going.

Crille! Over here!

Oh, Miss Ulla!

Håna!

Håna! Come here.

-Is your mom still living on Östermalm?
-Yeah...

Get her out.
This is the deal of the century.

Come!

So...

This is my collaborator,
Claes-Henrik Ahlhagen.

Sergio Milantropos.

Hi. I'm Ullabritt.

She's got a great apartment. Huge.

Exactly what you're looking for.
In Östermalm.

-It's great.
-"Age"?

Håna.

-Does it have high ceilings?
-Yes, very.

-What about the light?
-"Age"?

Huge windows. Great light.

What about the sound?
Is there a lot of noise from the street?

-Is it noisy?
-What?

Is your mom's apartment noisy?

No, but... what's going on?

-No problemos.
-Three days?

"Age"? That sounds ridiculous.

How can you be called that?

Age!

My name's Ahlhagen.

Spelled A-H...

L-H-A-G-E-N. Two Hs.

-So I'm called "Håna."
-Burning Flesh.

He's making a film. Burning Flesh.

What's it called Swedish?

-The Bush is Burning.
-Yes.

But why is he called "Age"?

Upsy-daisy, Bella Mia!

Burning Flesh.

It was shown in 32 countries.

It was a "boxbreaker" in Latin America,
you see?

My movie.

-All good?
-Yes, it's a done deal.

Is it?

What the hell are you doing, Crille?

My mom's apartment.

A movie shoot, three days. 8,000!

Four each!

-I can't get Mom to leave her apartment.
-Use your brain, Håna. Think of something.

Tell her she looks pale
and needs a vacation.

Here's 1,000.
You'll get 3,000 when she's gone.

-I can't get her out of the apartment.
-So you buy her a vacation.

-A vacation?
-Here's another 1,000. What do you say?

Tiffin!

-Tiffin?
-Tiffin!

How was lunch?

It was awful.

Utterly awful.

How have I been able to cope
all these years?

With Bäckahästen?

No, Greta!

She's completely hopeless.

Today, she was so rude
that I lost my appetite.

What little I have left.

What did she do this time?

Well, imagine!

I treat, what I think is,
my best friend to lunch.

I'm the one paying, and she knows that.

Well, she doesn't have much.

Oh...

-You're putting on too much.
-Huh?

Oh, I don't know.
I can't see without my glasses.

-How are my eyebrows?
-Yeah...

Does she have to be so ungrateful?

Can't she show a little humility
when she's getting everything for free?

She was just sitting there talking about
this and that and complaining...

without a hint of gratitude.

That's enough.

No...

Tomorrow, I'm going to the bank.

-Why?
-My will.

She can't behave however she wants and
expect a piece of the Ahlhagen fortune.

Tomorrow, I'm crossing out a zero.

Minimum.

-Did you get any lunch?
-Yes, I ate a hamburger.

Ugh.

You call that food? God almighty,
I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do.

Travel.

-What did you say?
-I...

I thought you could travel.

What are you saying?!

Travel. Relax. Rest.

Just take care of yourself.

You need it, in your situation.

In my situation?

What do you mean?
Is there something wrong with my life?

No, I just mean-- You seem a bit worn out.

Tired, I mean.

-Do you want to get rid of me?
-No.

I can treat you to a vacation.

What did you say?

I can pay for it.

I heard you, I'm not deaf yet.

You have to excuse my amusement.

-Where would you get money from?
-From that guy I told you about.

We've got business together.
I got money from him.

More than I was expecting.

And you'd waste that on a trip?

For me?

Can't I be generous for once?

Let me pay for a vacation. You deserve it.

-Do you really think so?
-I really do.

Well...

Why not?

I read about Florida the other day.
It seems like an exciting place.

Florida?

Yes, Florida.

They've got that guerilla movement.

Where would I go?

To Aunt Olga, I thought.

-In Norrtälje? What a big spender.
-No, she's at her house in Åre.

Just a moment.

There you go.

-Was that all?
-Yes.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Is that how it looks?

You can see the hair...

-Yes, that...
-Oh, sorry.

Of course.

With a hole?

Of course.

Adam. Can you come here?

-Hi.
-Here it is.

What do you think?

I don't believe in that t-shirt.

-No?
-No.

I've been raised around t-shirts.

It's a difficult industry,
but you can make a lot of money.

We don't believe in that t-shirt.

-Do you understand?
-Yeah, sure.

I understand.

Oh, well.

Bye, then.

Bye. What about people
who don't have any hair?

I've worked with t-shirts
my entire life. It's awful.

Hi. What a strange coincident...
that we'd run into each other again.

We saw each other... earlier.

Not much to talk about, I guess.

But is a "hello" really too much to ask?

I'm just talking and talking.

Thank you for a good chat. It was great.
Maybe I'll see you another time.

I've got your ticket!

Huh?

Can't you turn that off?

No, the cleaner is coming any minute.
I have to make sure it's clean.

What's that in your bag? Dirty laundry?

Your ticket.

In the bag?

Here.

Yeah.

Let me see.

Hmm.

Let's see. Mm-hmm.

Östersund...

Have you washed your hair?

I'm actually over 40 years old.

Does that mean you stop washing your hair?
You know what that chair is worth!

Hey.

Your train leaves at 11:15 p.m. tomorrow.

What a stupid time.

-I'll go with you to the station tomorrow.
-Yeah, yeah.

-Goodbye, then.
-Oh! Goodbye, Claes-Henrik.

You look tired.

-Yes, I am tired.
-Why don't you sit down?

No, because... I'm in a hurry.

-Do you want the vacuum cleaner?
-I'll get it myself. Go!

What's that smell?

-It's just a little stuffy.
-Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Please hurry up! It's always like this,
you're always running late.

The way young people dress these days.
Look at them!

When is the train leaving?

It leaves at 11:15 p.m.

There's no rush.

Who's rushing?

What track is it?

It's always the same thing. I hate trains.

-I'm getting arrhythmia again.
-Oh please. Mother!

Calm down. Just wait here a minute.

I'll check what track it is.

-Wait here a minute.
-It's track 12!

-What?
-It's track 12.

-I can see it on the board.
-I know. Calm down.

We have to hurry!

Otherwise,
I won't have time for my sleeping pills.

There's a restaurant upstairs.

-You won't say no to some beer.
-No.

Where are my sleeping pills?
I can't find them.

Oh, there they are.

Ugh. I hate trains. Taste your beer.

I'm taking two.

Just to be on the safe side.

Ugh. You know...

Tiffin is very sensitive
to changes in the weather.

Too many immigrants.

Boiled liver and long...

walks.

You can't smoke here!

People think they can just-- Claes-Henrik?

Ah! Well.

Where has he gone?

This is the wrong way.

Come here.

-Here it is.
-Yes, I can see that.

Hurry up a little.

-It's that one.
-What?

It's this one, Mother. One to three.

It's one to three, otherwise it's wrong.
It's very small.

-Should I put Tiffin here?
-Yes.

And you can put the suitcase there.

-Ugh. Take this.
-You told me to open the suitcase.

-Ugh.
-Yeah, yeah.

My gloves.

-What's that?
-I left my gloves.

-Where?
-At the restaurant. They've been stolen.

-I'm sure they've been stolen.
-No, Mother. I'll go get them.

Take it easy. I'll go get them.

I'll get them. I'll be right back.

Here are your gloves.

-Yes... You can put them over there.
-Yeah.

Well then.

Goodbye. Have a nice trip.

Take good care of Tiffin.

-Bye.
-Bye.

-Take care of yourself.
-Thank you.

GOTHENBURG

Hello. Mother!

Mother!

Wake up! You're on the wrong train.

You have to... Mother!
You have to get off, it's the wrong train.

Come on.

It's the wrong train. You have to get off.

Come on.
Jesus Christ, Mother! Come on now.

Please.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Come on. Please, would you--

Oh, excuse me.

Please, could you hold Mother for a bit?
It's the wrong train.

Just a second.

Hello?

-I'm getting on the train.
-Please, open the door.

-Please--
-Yes?

Could you please open the door?

Could you-- I'm in such a hurry!

My mom was here, but it's the wrong train.

All her things are here. Excuse me.

And the dog. Do you understand?

-She's asleep.
-The dog?

-No, my mom.
-Where?

There, on the platform.

Please, ma'am. Try to--

Please.

Damn suitcase!

And now she's disappeared.

She's disappeared...

Claes-Henrik...

-Tiffin.
-The tie.

Oh...!

Please, ma'am.

Please, watch the tie.

Oh my God.

Here's the dog. Where's her purse?

Great. Oh!

Please, I have to get on the train.

-The train is leaving.
-No.

-Is that yours?
-No.

The train is leaving.

That's the other train.

Then that guy is on roller skates.

My tie...

Hey!

Do you want some whiskey?

Yeah.

Hey, I... Now...

My mom... It's rolling...

-Please. Hey.
-Yes?

Calm down. Sit down.

-Okay.
-Sit down. There you are.

The train has left. You're sitting here.
And your mom is at the station.

Here's some whiskey.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Oh my God.
Bender is 10,000 kronor in the red.

Should life really be like this?

It is what you make it.

This is my first life,
I don't have any experience.

In my next life,
I want to be a piece of furniture.

-Hey.
-Mm-hmm?

It's a good whiskey, isn't it?

It is... very good. Is it Irish?

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

You don't happen to have
a name or something?

Me? I do.

Splitman. You can call me Thumb.

My name is Claes-Henrik.

What's your name?

Boel.

Boel?

Is that your name?

You can call me Bosse instead.

Oh, yeah?

You know...

Haven't I met you before?
You look familiar.

-I--
-No, no way.

I would have remembered.

Cheers.

-Cheers.
-The conductor will be here soon.

Oh, but I...

Yeah.

Can I see your ticket?

My mother is asleep.

That’s nice for her.

My mother is dreaming.

Nightmares.

Oh. About your father, perhaps.

He's left.

It worked!

Thank you.

What do we do now?

-We'll sleep.
-Sleep?

Yeah...

Or do you have a better suggestion?

No...

No, I just mean...

-Maybe you're embarrassed to change?
-You don't bother me.

But of course,

if you're embarrassed,
I'll change in the restroom.

No, it's just... It doesn't matter to me.
But we don't know each other.

Boel?

Boel.

Boel?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Is it tasty?

-Would you like want some?
-Please.

I'd love some.

I'd prefer to have the bottle.

Would that be okay?

-The bottle?
-Yes, please. It's shaking so much.

If that's okay.

-Here you go.
-Thank you ever so much.

That's very kind of you.

-Was it nice?
-Yes. It tastes expensive.

But it tastes healthy as well, somehow.

Well... It's my heart.

This helps.

Oh yes.

There you are.

Yes, indeed.

That hit the spot.

That's it.

Well. It's really pounding over here.

Is it?

The train, I mean.

Oh.

Where was your mom going?

To my aunt.

Where does she live?

She lives in...

Åre.

Going via Gothenburg is quite the detour.

-Do you live in Gothenburg?
-No.

Tompa's there.

Oh.

Is that your guy?

I see.

Are you married?

Are you cohabiting?

No? Maybe you're cavorting?

Canoodling? Cahooting?

He's my son.

Oh!

-His dad lives in Gothenburg.
-I see.

And you live in Stockholm?

Mm-hmm.

What do you do?

What? Oh. Guess.

-You're on early retirement?
-Mm-hmm.

It's my knees. I have plastic knees.

Japanese plastic knees.

But they're good.

-What about you?
-Allergic.

I'm allergic to dogs.

-Are you?
-Yes.

What should we do about Tiffin?

-Tiffin?
-Yes, my mom's dog.

Put her in the cabinet.

That's a great idea.

-Tiffin!
-I was just joking.

Oh. So you're not allergic?

Should we have another sip
before we turn out the lights?

Mm-hmm. Let's do that.

Cheers.

Good night.

See you.

Hey...

"Bender." What's that?

My company.

-It's mine and Crille's.
-Bender?

It's an abbreviation.

It stands for Better Endurance.

-Bender.
-Oh.

Hey, lady. You're in my bed.

Why don't you move the lady, then?

You're in my bed, lady.

Oh, I... I'm so very sorry.

BENDER

Come on. Hurry up!

Get in the car!

I didn't know she would be at home.

Who was that old hag?

If you don't leave,
I'm calling the police!

I paid you 4,000! Quattro mille!

What will we do now?

Lucky for you, my son is away.
Otherwise, he'd show you!

Please, Tiffin.

Calm down.

There we are. We're home again.

LIQUOR STORE

Hi, Håna!

Got any left?

Sure.

I've got the good stuff.

Go on and poop, Carmen. I'm in a hurry.

Hey...

I gotta go. Take care.

-I'm going.
-Okay, bye.

Hi.

Sorry to wake you.

No, it's...

-Where are we?
-Åre.

How was Gothenburg?

Pretty boring.

That's good. Um, too bad.

Are you going home?

-Yeah, for lunch.
-I see.

Look.

Wanna come?

With you?

Um...

For lunch?

Um... yeah, why not?

Have a look around.

If you want a drink, it's on the shelf.
I'll get right to it.

I thought so.

-Hi, are you here?
-Yes. Hi.

Hi again.

Hi.

Do you know each other?

Yeah, a little.

We've never really said hi.

-Did you know I had a daughter?
-No, I had no idea.

No... Hi, I'm Lina.

Hi, I'm Classe.

I understand it's a bad time,
but why has he got a net glove in his fly?

-What did you say?
-It's true.

-In his fly?
-I promise.

-Ah!
-I promise!

Come, I'll show you.

How's it going?

It'll be done soon. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good, just reading.

-Knitting patterns?
-Hmm?

It's amazing what they can do.

Better?

It's all Greek to me.

Can I help with any--

He's insane.

What is it?

Come. Have a look.

What's he doing?

I have no idea.

Where did you meet him?

He was underneath me.
In the ladies' compartment.

Oh yeah?

-And you?
-At the Vanadis pools.

He was shadowing you.

-Me?
-Mm-hmm.

On your thigh.

He's a cabdriver.

We have to go in.

I'm really sorry.

Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out.

This lamp here...

-It's fine. It's really old anyway.
-I'll wipe down the wall.

Oh, I...

-You should see what Tompa--
-I'm really sorry.

It's fine,
you should see what Tompa gets up to.

What's going on here?

Is there a war?

It's just this old rice lamp. The food!

You have to turn off the stove!

Are you moving in?

-No. Oh no.
-Okay.

I like crispy bacon.

It's minute steak.

Oh, I see.

This is my fault.
Let me buy you lunch. I'll be quick.

I'll buy you a great lunch.

You ladies clean up here
and I'll be back in ten minutes.

Is this really 96.23?

Yes, and that's a very good price.

Ow!

Oh!

What's happened? Oh...

There was a metal strip.
It went straight into my hand.

-I don't think it's that bad.
-Are you sure?

-Yeah, I'm sure.
-We'll have to patch it up.

-I'm really sorry.
-I just need some fresh air.

Excuse me, ma'am.
There's been an accident.

-Should I call you a cab?
-It's fine, I live just around the corner.

Excuse me!

What is it?

Clever.

What do you mean?

-I saw everything. Come with me.
-Please.

I'm unemployed. My mom...
Just give me a break.

-Please.
-All right.

This time.

Give me the goods.

Of course.

The salmon.

I forgot.

I don't want to see you here again.

Of course.

-It was stupid of me.
-Yeah, it was.

You can't be stupid.

Hey!

-Hi, Håna!
-I have to go home and sleep.

Good luck, I say.

Come on.

Hurry up. We're in a rush.

-Claes-Henrik?
-Hi.

-It's not Sunday yet.
-I know.

I don't have any cash.

I'm a little tired.

Why don't you take a trip?

Please, don't bring that up.

It wasn't my fault, you know that.

But I don't feel so great.

Don't you have anyone to turn to?

I don't know.

What?

You don't know?

I'm not feeling very well.

And then you'll come see Mommy, huh?

And you're right to, my little honeybunch.

Little honeybunch. Come here.

Lie down on the sofa
and have a nice relaxing--

Not the shoes!

You need to relax.

Little one.

Mommy will get you
something nice and warm.

Greta was here for lunch today.

It's lucky she's such a sensible woman.

Claes-Henrik, I can't remember
when I last had such a great time.

She was so appreciative.

She's a lovely little person, Greta.

When she's at her best.

Here you are. There's some soup left.

I have something very nutritious for you.

-Claes-Henrik?
-Boel?

Boel?

Boel.

LIQUOR STORE

Hi!

Hi.

Are you going in here?

No, I don't like booze.

-Who doesn't like booze?
-Bye.

-Where are you going?
-I'm buying a present.

-For who?
-Mom.

-Is it her birthday?
-Yeah.

-What's your name?
-Håna.

Would you like to look at
a pretty necklace, or maybe some soaps?

We've got lovely soaps,
and you get an eau de cologne for free.

That one is 50 kronor
and the necklace is 35.

-How much money do you have?
-I have 75.

Do you want to spend it all?

No, maybe you shouldn't.
What do you think about this?

We also have some makeup bags
for lipstick and other things.

-They can go in her purse.
-I'll wait outside, Tompa.

-What do you think about that?
-It looks nice.

Håna! Come on!

Please, Carmen. Try to poop now.

Look, isn't it nice?

It's very nice.

-Did you buy that as well?
-No way.

Do you come here too?

Tompa... did you steal it?

You can't go around stealing things.

How else would you do it?

What if someone sees you?

What if your mom finds out?

Who would tell her?

No, but... they could find out at school.
Your principal...

The police could...
Don't do it. It's dangerous.

You sound like "The King".

-I do?
-He's the janitor at school.

"The King"?

He rips your ear off for any little thing.

He's crazy. I want to kill him.

Good luck, I say.

Yes, but...
it's not that easy to kill someone.

I know.
He's so big, I'd have to shoot him.

Yeah, but that's pretty difficult.
You'd need a gun, a license, ammunition...

-I don't think it's a good solution.
-What should I do?

I don't know. I've thought a lot about it.
My mom's quite a handful.

But she's easier to handle,
she's old and her vision's bad.

Just push her down the stairs.

She'll fall down and die.

Yeah...

I think some potassium cyanide in her port
would be better.

What's that?

-It's a sweet dessert wine.
-Mmm.

I meant the other one, cy-something.

It's a really strong poison.
It'll kill you straight away.

-But it's hard to get.
-That's too bad.

Mm-hmm. A cat, that's the answer.

-We have one.
-You've got a cat?

Mm-hmm.

Then there's a great way.

You cut the cat's whiskers off,
and get some green peas.

Then you put the whiskers inside the peas
and trim so you can't see the whiskers.

Then you cook something
and serve the peas with it.

Then you give the food
to the person you want to kill.

Then the peas go in their stomach.

The little whiskers
travel through the stomach

and out into the bloodstream
and into the heart.

The person dies instantly
and there are no traces left behind.

-That's smart.
-Mm-hmm.

-That's too bad for mom.
-You're not going to kill her, are you?

-No, she's allergic.
-I know.

-Do you?
-Mm-hmm.

-That's why we have a cat.
-I see.

-Would you rather have a dog?
-Yeah.

Tompa! Come on.

I gotta go home. Bye.

Yes? Bengtsson.

Oh, hi.

Are you bringing food?

Well, I... No...

You would believe what happened.

I...

Hey, I bought you a gift.

-For me?
-Yes.

Congratulations.

-Happy birthday!
-Quiet, Tompa!

But... it's not until tomorrow.

No, but you can save it.

That's strange.

-Isn't it the one you use?
-There's no smell.

-Not very much, anyway.
-Really?

It tastes like water.

Water?

I asked for a perfume.

Hello?

-Quiet.
-Bitch!

"Tester"?

They must have given you a tester.

Tester?

They must have given you the wrong one.

Where did you buy it?
I can go and get it changed.

-I'll do it.
-Claes-Henrik?

Hi, honey.

-What are you doing here?
-Hi.

Am I interrupting?

-No, we're just...
-Oh, you're together?

No, no... Yes...

This is my mother. This is Boel.

So this is little Boel?

-I've heard about you.
-Oh?

I'm Mrs. Ahlhagen, the consul's wife.

Bitch!

Quiet, Tompa.

-Oh, so there are children in the picture?
-Yes, that's my son.

And how old is he?

He's 32.

That's not possible.

No, mom, it isn't.

I'm gonna go.

Goodbye.

-Goodbye.
-Bye.

-Bye.
-For now.

Aren't you going with her?

-No, I...
-Good. Take a bag and help me.

Come with me.

I've found a little lady who sells rusk.

Twenty öre cheaper per kilo.

If I buy five kilos, I save one krona.

-It's hardly a fortune.
-Every little helps.

But you've never understood that.

So you walked all this way
for a discount of 20 öre?

Certainly.

Have you considered
the wear on your leather?

-Leather?
-Yeah.

You're so thrifty.
You must know what a pair of shoes cost.

Don't start with me again.

It's just red everywhere.
All thanks to prime minister Palme.

You know what you are?

-Tired.
-From what? Doing nothing?

Won't you make something of yourself?

-Like Dad, you mean?
-Yes, exactly.

He never did an honest day's work.

What are you saying?

Won't it ever change?
That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

Harald? Are you saying Harald...
You don't know what you're talking about.

He was a hard-working, wonderful man
who... Who was that woman, again?

-Boel.
-Ah yes. Claes-Henrik!

What are you doing? Listen to me.

Claes-Henrik!

What are you doing? I can't believe you.

You're going too far.
You're just like your father.

-So, Boel. Does she have a last name?
-Bengtsson.

Bengtsson? That's what I thought.

-Not good enough for the consul's wife?
-Watch your mouth!

-Dad wasn't a consul, he was a consultant.
-Nonsense.

Mrs. Läppinnen thought he said "consul",
not "consultant".

-You know this.
-Is that what you tell your friends?

My friend's don't give a shit.

-You don't have any friends.
-Thanks to you, the consultant's wife.

I am the widow of Mr. Ahlhagen,
the consul, and that's that.

How long are you going to
keep telling yourself that?

Dad has been dead for over ten years.
He was a consultant.

It doesn't diminish your value.

-Just look at his business cards.
-What business cards?

-Hi, Tompa.
-Hi.

Nice bikes, huh?

Yeah, they're nice.

Oh, Carmen. Just a little turd.

-What are you doing?
-Hang on.

Give me the string.

Come on.

There we go.

Hi.

There we are. Give it a try.

-Good afternoon.
-There we are.

-Mm-hmm.
-Good afternoon.

Isn't that a little... A little...

It's not that small, is it?

-It seems very nice.
-It's a very nice dog.

It's such a nice dog.

It's very robust.

Come on. Look how happy it is.

It can go in the laundry.
You can do anything to it, really.

-It can handle anything.
-Oh no.

-Let's go.
-It doesn't make a sound.

Naughty!

They're a little dusty,
but they don't eat much. That's it.

Come on.

-Stay here.
-Mm-hmm.

There you are.
I told you to be home by 7 p.m.

Don't you ever listen?

-But I...
-No buts.

If I say 7 a.m., that's what I mean.

Where have you been? What's that?

-Håna!
-"Age"?

What are you talking about?
Throw that out.

-He gave it to me.
-Who?

-The guy who's here.
-Where?

There.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Why are you hiding in there?

-Tompa wanted me to look at some...
-Come in.

-Where's the cat?
-She's outside.

-Have you eaten?
-No.

But I... No, not for a while.

Can't you stay a while?

Yeah, there's enough for you too.

It's time, Tompa.

You're getting up at 6.30 a.m.
and you were one hour late.

Brush your teeth and go straight to bed.

Do you want anything?
You know where to find it.

So Mom disappeared on the baggage dolly.

So everything ended
with you being 2,000 kronor in the red?

How will you fix that?

I always figure it out.

Bender.

That's right.

Do you mind?

No, that's fine.

You can borrow the money from me.

-From you?
-Yeah.

-No.
-Why not?

No way.

-Coffee?
-Yes, please.

-What are you reading?
-Året runt.

-You buy that?
-No, I stole it from Mom.

-Does it say anything interesting?
-Mm-hmm.

"My son has cramps in his rectum."

"He is fifty."

I bet she does it.

Who?

-Mom.
-Does what?

Sends in these kinds of questions.

-About her son?
-Mm-hmm.

"My son has cramps in his head,
from his dad."

You struggle with your mom, don't you?

Ah!

No more than... usual.

It's worse sometimes.

It's hard to... "love thy mother."

You don't have to.

What?

You don't have to love your mom.

Really?

No.

Want something with your coffee?

Yes, please.

It's on the shelf.

-Is it yours?
-Yeah.

Can you play?

I could.

I like the violin.

Me too.

Can't you play a little?

No, not in a million years.

-Why not?
-Not while someone's watching.

"Someone"?

I'll close my eyes.

-You'd peek.
-Maybe.

Sit in the bathroom.

The acoustics are nice in there.

Why would I do that?

To please me, for example.

You play beautifully.

You think so?

Yes, I do.

Did you know that you have
very cute wrinkles around your eyes?

-You think so?
-Yes, I do.

-Where's Tompa?
-Don't be silly.

-What do you mean?
-What are you afraid of?

Everything.

Everything?

Kissing, too?

No, but my retirement
won't cover Tompa's junkie kids.

What are you talking about?

Kissing.

Then we move in together, buy a row house,

I'll become Tompa's dad,
he'll have kids and he'll die.

I'll be stuck with grandkids
and a wheelchair. I can't do that.

You look 120 years ahead.

Yeah.

I look 20 centimeter ahead.

I know.

That always happens.

That's just how I am.

Am I visible?

-What?
-Can you see me?

-Of course I can see you.
-No, you don't.

You only see your own reflection.

What are you talking about?

Kissing.

What are you doing this weekend?

Tomorrow? This weekend?

Mm-hmm.

I don't know, I... Why?

I have a little house on Möja.

Really?

Tompa is going to his dad tomorrow.

I'm going for the weekend.

Oh, yeah?

There are hardly any boats there now,
it's so quiet.

It's great.

I'm sure it is.

-I have a sauna down by the lake.
-Really?

-Thank you.
-Cheers.

Cheers.

Wanna come?

To... to Möja, you mean? With you?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah...

Oh, but what about Tiffin?

I promised Mom to take care of Tiffin
this weekend.

And I'm allergic to dogs.

That's too bad.

And it's not like you can say no to Mommy,
is it?

Yeah...

Yeah, I... I could tell her
something else has gotten in the way.

-Of the mama bear and her cub.
-Huh?

It's up to you.
I'd be very happy if you came.

But unfortunately,
you can't bring the dog.

I'd love to join you.

I'll talk to her another time.

-When does the ferry leave?
-At 11 a.m., from Grand Hotel.

-Okay.
-Okay.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

That makes me really happy.

I can tell.

You've got such strong hands.

Will you stay over?

I've got a sofa bed.

Yeah, I...

-What about Tompa?
-Oh, he... he's used to it.

Well, I...

-You know.
-Yes, I know.

Let's not embarrass each other.

I want privacy when I change, too.

There's a spare toothbrush
in the bathroom, the lamp is over there

and there are sheets on the couch.

There's soured milk in the fridge, in case
you want to sneak out tomorrow morning.

Good night, sleep tight.

Wake up.

Wake up!

Wake up.

Oh, it's you.

What is it?

Did you eat my murder weapon?

-What are you talking about?
-The peas.

Shhh! Go on.

What are you talking about?

-Did you eat peas last night?
-Be quiet!

-What did you say?
-Did you eat peas last night?

-Yeah, why?
-They were poisoned.

Don't tell me you--

I did the thing with the whiskers.

They were for The King.
But you ate them and will die.

It's fine. Don't worry about it.

It's fine.
Go outside and play. We'll talk later.

Don't you believe me?

Be quiet. I believe you. Go out and play.

What are you looking at?

Guess it wasn't deadly.

What are you doing?

I was just... cutting my fingernails.

Over the food?

-Did I wake you?
-No.

How are you doing?

Great.

-You haven't changed your mind?
-No.

No, not at all.

But... I have to talk to Mom.

Are you nervous?

Yeah... No... I don't know.

Maybe a little.

-You know how they are.
-Women?

Mothers.

What's more important than our lunch?

What is more important than Tiffin?

A lot of things are more important
than Tiffin.

-Like what?
-The disarmament negotiations.

Ah!

So, you're refusing to watch Tiffin?

Please, Mother. I'm not refusing.
I just can't do it this weekend.

I'm busy. I can't do it.

Ah!

-Where's the new coat?
-I pawned it.

-Is that alcohol?
-No, I don't.

-There's a bottle here.
-It's for you.

-For me?
-Yes.

Why?

It's a gift to say sorry.

-What's this?
-It's perfume.

Oh?

And you bought it for me?

-It's stolen.
-"Stolen"? What's that?

It's the new perfume shop
on Biblioteksgatan. It's called Stolen.

It doesn't smell of anything.

It's discreet,
but that's a foreign concept for you.

So it's on purpose?

Yes, it can't get more stolen than that.

So you choose Bengtsson over Tiffin?

Just stop it!

Ah!

Please, Mother.
It's not for the rest of our lives.

It's only until Monday.

Just once, I'd like to be able to...

Are you listening?

I shouldn't have to report every second
of my life to you--

Say something, Mother!

Say something, Mother.

You've always looked down on me.

You spit on me,
after everything I've done for you.

Ah!

As soon as you've had any trouble,
you've come running to Mommy.

Then I've been useful.

But you throw me in the trash
as soon as a some skirt shows up.

Do you think I'm made of stone?

No. I don't.

And then you mock me
for having some money in the bank.

But when I get sick
and can't take care of myself,

I want to be able to pay my own way
and not be a burden on you.

I only get contempt in return.

Have you considered that?

No, you haven't.

And you don't consider me.

In your world, I'm just some old...

stupid relic.

Why can't I just die?

So I can't even go away one single weekend

without you acting like this?

It's madness. It's insane!

It can't be like this.

Not at all.

You can go. Just go. Go on.

I might get a heart attack,
but you'd want that.

Bengtsson is waiting.

I'm never going to leave.

I'll stay here until I rot and die.

Is that what you want?

Go. Get out.

-Get out!
-Mother.

-Get out.
-Never.

Mother.

Mother.

Get out of my life.

Mother.

You can't teach...

an old dog new tricks.

Yes, you can.

As long as they can bark.

I should have known,
said the man who shat a fish.

-Are you coming?
-No.

-No, I'll get the next one.
-Okay.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You made it.

Of course. It's 11 a.m.

Subtitle translation by:
Sanna Arvidsson Milton