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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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Boy, did I have a
crazy dream last night.
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00:00:08,224 --> 00:00:09,175
What was it?
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00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,644
I was at this party with
a bunch of strangers.
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The food was great. The music was loud.
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All of a sudden,
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everybody in the place
stopped and was lookin' at me,
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00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,652
and I realized that I
wasn't wearing any pants.
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Oh, yes, yes.
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I've had that dream a million times.
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00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,859
Yeah, me, too, and boy, is
it ever embarrassing, huh?
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00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,277
Why is that?
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00:00:31,414 --> 00:00:33,783
Uh... uh, Norm?
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Never embarrassed me.
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Tell you the one I hate.
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You know, you're back in college, right?
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00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,206
And you haven't been to
class the entire semester,
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00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,208
and the teacher's about
to give the final exam.
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00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,710
Oh, yeah, that one's the worst.
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What're you talkin' about, Carla?
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You never went to college.
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00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,631
It's a dream, stupid.
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00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:54,354
Well, how about the one where
you go to this fancy restaurant,
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00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:55,355
and before they let you in,
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00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,856
they make you leave
your legs at the door?
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00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,362
Then the girl gives you
claim check number six.
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00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:03,730
So you go in,
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00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,065
but instead of food,
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00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,067
everyone's eatin' their silverware.
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Only you can't really enjoy your fork
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00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,070
because you're so worried
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00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,572
that whoever got claim check
number nine might finish first
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00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,958
and pick up your legs by mistake.
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00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,130
Yeah, oh, yeah.
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00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:26,086
(piano plays)
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00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,505
? Making your way in the world today ?
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? Takes everything you've got ?
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? Taking a break from all your worries ?
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? Sure would help a lot ?
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00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:42,519
? Wouldn't you like to get away? ?
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? Sometimes you want to go ?
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00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:50,944
? Where everybody knows your name ?
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00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:55,448
? And they're always glad you came ?
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00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,951
? You want to be where you can see ?
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00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,453
? Our troubles are all the same ?
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00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:05,959
? You want to be where
everybody knows your name ?
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00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,461
? You want to go where people know ?
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00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,964
? People are all the same ?
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00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,468
? You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ?
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:02:34,604 --> 00:02:37,106
Two vodka martinis and a Wallbanger.
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Wallbanger!
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Sam, I need to ask a big favor.
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All right, as long as
it doesn't interfere
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00:02:45,114 --> 00:02:46,616
with your job.
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00:02:46,616 --> 00:02:50,370
Okay, then, I need to ask a huge favor.
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00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,704
Would it be possible
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00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,206
two weeks from this coming Wednesday
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00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,210
for me to leave work
early about ten minutes?
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00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,212
Sure, why not?
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00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,214
Oh, thank you, Sam.
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00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,583
Thank you very much.
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00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,885
And thank you for not prying further
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00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,887
into the matter.
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00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:12,392
Especially since, well,
I've no valid excuse
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00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,894
for my early departure.
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00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:17,764
Sam, I must be frank.
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00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,149
Sounds good.
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00:03:20,149 --> 00:03:21,651
I'll be Bob.
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00:03:23,653 --> 00:03:26,155
I mean, it's not as if I had
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00:03:26,155 --> 00:03:27,156
a dental appointment
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or had to pick up some
relative at the airport.
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00:03:30,159 --> 00:03:31,160
Okay, Diane,
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why do you have to leave early
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00:03:33,162 --> 00:03:35,031
two weeks from this Wednesday?
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00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:36,783
Well, if you must know...
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00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,036
I have a date.
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00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:42,255
Oh, yeah, I've heard of those.
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00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,590
Have fun.
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00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:50,096
Oh, sweet transparent bravado.
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00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,048
Could there be a soul dearer
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00:03:52,548 --> 00:03:54,050
than the little boy lost,
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00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,552
trembling on the edge of despair,
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00:03:56,552 --> 00:04:00,890
yet struggling manfully to
maintain his stiff upper lip?
86
00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:04,527
Thank you for noticing.
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00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:06,029
Oh, wait, Sam, wait. One more thing.
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00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:07,030
What?
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00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:10,033
After our five-star-dinner-
and-season-premiere-
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00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:11,034
of-the-ballet
date,
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00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:16,539
Chad-- Dr. Stark,
may desire a kiss.
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00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:19,042
Would you mind--
should he ask--
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00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:22,045
if I let his lips touch mine?
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00:04:22,045 --> 00:04:24,547
Touch your what?
95
00:04:26,049 --> 00:04:27,550
Oh, Mr. Peterson, I forgot.
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00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,052
Some guy dropped by earlier
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00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:31,054
and asked me to give this to you.
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00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,055
Oh, thank you, Woody.
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00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:34,507
And thank you, God!
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00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,509
Oh, well, what's that, Normie?
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00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,262
A research grant from the
National Beer Foundation?
102
00:04:39,262 --> 00:04:42,065
No, Cliffie, just a measly
little pair of sky-view seats
103
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,567
for the Sox-Yankee
doubleheader tomorrow.
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00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:45,568
Whoa, you're kidding me!
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00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:47,570
I pulled every string I had
106
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,572
and I could only score standing room.
107
00:04:49,572 --> 00:04:50,573
Come on. How'd you get that?
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00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:51,574
Sammy, it's not who you know,
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00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:53,076
it's who I know, all right?
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00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:54,077
Yeah.
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00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:56,579
A client friend of mine, Jerry Donahue,
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00:04:56,579 --> 00:04:58,081
sent those babies over to thank me
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00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,450
for being such a fantastic
financial counselor.
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00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:01,951
No, seriously, how'd you get 'em?
115
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,870
I'm tellin' you,
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00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,122
I saved the guy a bundle
on his taxes last year.
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00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,341
He asked me to invest
his windfall, you know?
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00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,093
And in the space of six short months,
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00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:12,095
I kinda doubled his money.
120
00:05:12,095 --> 00:05:14,597
We got lucky on a little
convenience mart in Worcester.
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00:05:14,597 --> 00:05:16,599
What'd you do? Hold it up?
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00:05:16,599 --> 00:05:17,600
(laughs)
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00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,601
You guys are hilarious.
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00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:19,602
But Jerry's laughing
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00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:21,104
all the way to the bank, all right?
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00:05:21,104 --> 00:05:22,472
I diversified the guy.
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00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,307
We went into, uh, mutuals,
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00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:26,309
and a very pretty little biotech company
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00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:27,310
that just went public.
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00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:30,313
Boy, sounds like you got
the Midas touch there.
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00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:31,314
You should hear some
of the other great ideas
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00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:32,315
we have cooked up.
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00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:33,733
Yeah? Like what?
134
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,737
Mm... no, no, sorry, guys.
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00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,238
My lips are sealed.
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00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,740
Buy you a beer.
137
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:41,741
It's called "Tan 'N Wash".
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00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,744
Tan and wash, guys.
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00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,746
The ultimate marriage of
luxury and convenience.
140
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:49,749
A combination tanning salon
and coin-operated laundry.
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00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,668
Get real.
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00:05:52,668 --> 00:05:53,669
Come on.
143
00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:56,172
The timing's right on this.
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00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:57,173
Summer tans are fading.
145
00:05:57,173 --> 00:05:58,174
Winter's coming.
146
00:05:58,174 --> 00:05:59,675
It's always dirty clothes season.
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00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,677
It's gonna be the hottest place in town.
148
00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:03,563
I'm glad you're already
thinking about arson.
149
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,981
(laughs): Yeah, arson.
150
00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:06,849
Don't listen to them, Norman.
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00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:09,852
And never be deterred
by the mindless jibes
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00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:11,020
of the ignorant masses.
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00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,905
Those ignorant masses are
gonna be our customers.
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00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:17,276
Hey, I'll be there will bells on.
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00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,612
Everyone'll be there, buddy,
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00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,114
fluffing, folding, relaxing happily
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00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,116
beneath the healthful rays
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00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:26,619
of a federally approved
UVA bronzing unit.
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00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,121
Well, Normie,
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00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,123
I gotta say it's the silliest,
most harebrained scheme
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00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,624
I've ever heard of.
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00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,126
Yeah.
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00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,128
Well, I gotta go.
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00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,630
(quietly): Normie, walk me out.
165
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,634
I'm not leaving yet, Cliff.
166
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:42,635
Neither am I.
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00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,637
Ma and I want in.
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00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:47,640
In where?
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00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,142
Don't be naive, Normie.
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00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,027
Put me up for five shares.
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00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:54,363
No, no, no.
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00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:56,365
Investments are risky, Cliff.
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00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:58,367
Look, I never do business
with friends, all right?
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00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,237
Besides, it's 200 bucks a share.
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00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:02,872
Put me down for five, too, will ya?
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00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:06,209
Oh, great, Norm, now
the cat's outta the bag!
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00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:08,077
CARLA: I think you're all crazy.
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00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:10,379
But if Clavin makes
big bucks and I don't,
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00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,381
I won't be able to live with the shame.
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00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:13,749
Give me a share.
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00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:15,551
Oh, me, too! Me, too!
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00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:16,419
You, Diane?
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00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,221
Laying bets on a laundry?
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00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:19,722
Well, in my case, it's not a gamble,
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00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:21,724
but rather a show of faith
186
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,726
in our great free enterprise system.
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00:07:23,726 --> 00:07:26,729
Yes, even Diane Chambers is not immune
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00:07:26,729 --> 00:07:28,681
to the renaissance
of American patriotism
189
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:29,682
in the 1980s.
190
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,684
Although I hasten to remind you
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00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,187
this does not imply any
shifting of my support
192
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,688
toward the current administration.
193
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:38,107
I hope nobody was looking
for a silent partner.
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00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:41,994
CARLA: You know, Diane,
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00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,914
you shouldn't be investin'
in a tanning salon.
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00:07:44,914 --> 00:07:46,415
You oughta be usin' one.
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00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:48,784
You got skin the color of Elmer's glue.
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00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,121
I happen to have
199
00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:58,127
what Restoration poets
refer to as "alabaster skin."
200
00:07:58,127 --> 00:08:01,130
Well, at least your hair looks nice.
201
00:08:03,132 --> 00:08:06,135
Besides, with my rendezvous
with Chad coming up,
202
00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:08,137
I dare not risk freckling.
203
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:09,138
Why not? If it got boring,
204
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,641
you could always
play connect-the-dots.
205
00:08:11,641 --> 00:08:15,027
God, how this must torment you.
206
00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:18,447
No, no, no, come on, Norm.
207
00:08:18,447 --> 00:08:19,949
You gonna let us in or not?
208
00:08:19,949 --> 00:08:21,450
Let's just change the
subject, all right?
209
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,736
Hey, he's tryin' to sidetrack us.
210
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,038
This thing must be a gold mine.
211
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,041
Yeah, yeah, hey, Normie,
uh, correct me if I'm wrong,
212
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,543
but yesterday you had a letter
213
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,544
you needed mailed.
214
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:35,464
I did it, and you can at
least return the favor.
215
00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:36,966
Cliffie, that's your job.
216
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:37,967
Well, all right.
217
00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:39,969
Then, as one
professional to another--
218
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:41,220
come on, Norm!
219
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,755
(all pleading)
220
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:43,556
I know what's gonna happen!
221
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,057
I know what's gonna happen.
222
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,926
Somethin's gonna go wrong
and you're all gonna blame me.
223
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,344
(all protesting)
224
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:50,346
All right, well, well.
225
00:08:50,846 --> 00:08:52,098
All right, yes! Whoo! Whoo!
226
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,432
Hey, Wood, do you want in?
227
00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:55,818
I don't think so.
228
00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:57,570
You know, when I left home,
229
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,855
my father gave me
some very sound advice.
230
00:08:59,855 --> 00:09:03,359
"Never trust a man who
can't look ya in the eye.
231
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,361
"Never talk when you can listen.
232
00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:08,864
"And never spend venture
capital on a limited partnership
233
00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:11,867
without a detailed, analytical
fiduciary prospectus."
234
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:22,428
Afternoon, everybody.
235
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,263
ALL: Norm!
236
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:25,765
Hey, Norm, how's the
world been treatin' ya?
237
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,768
Like a baby treats a diaper.
238
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,275
So...
239
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,145
what's the deal with
the, uh, "Tan 'N Wash"?
240
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,030
For a new business, I'd say Tan 'N Wash
241
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:43,032
is doing as well as could be expected.
242
00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:44,033
Oh, yeah?
243
00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,534
I dropped by this morning
244
00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,536
and the only customer in the place
245
00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:49,538
was a lonely woman kicking the hell
246
00:09:49,538 --> 00:09:50,906
out of a jammed change machine.
247
00:09:50,906 --> 00:09:52,158
Oh, come on. By the way,
248
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:55,544
you owe me a quarter
and a new pair of shoes.
249
00:09:55,544 --> 00:09:58,381
Patience, Carla, all right? Patience.
250
00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,383
There are gray skies on the horizon.
251
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:02,385
Yeah, it's gonna get cold
and damp and miserable.
252
00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:03,886
We'll be wading in customers.
253
00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:06,389
Yeah, I think we're wading
in something right now.
254
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:08,257
I've worked out a great
new promotional campaign.
255
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:09,759
Promotional campaign? Yeah.
256
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:14,146
Whew! Hey, hey!
257
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,065
Check out Mr. Tan there, huh?
258
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:18,067
Say, Sammy,
259
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:20,436
did you just fly to the
tropics and spend a week
260
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:23,439
and thousands of dollars under
the blazing, unhealthy sun?
261
00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:24,440
(dismissive laugh)
262
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,443
No, no, Norm. No, I
just spent my lunch hour
263
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:30,446
under some healthful,
federally approved UVA rays
264
00:10:30,446 --> 00:10:31,831
at the Tan 'N Wash.
265
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,250
Say, those clothes are really
lookin' clean there, pal.
266
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,751
Well, thank you, Norm.
267
00:10:35,751 --> 00:10:38,754
Yeah. Now is it true
that with these coupons
268
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:41,257
anyone can get 25% off on
their first five visits?
269
00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:42,258
Well, that's what I hear.
270
00:10:42,258 --> 00:10:43,259
Great.
271
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,013
Well!
272
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,297
Hey... I tell ya,
273
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:52,685
is that Cliff Clavin
or is that Don Ho, huh?
274
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,637
Uh...
275
00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:55,638
Where ya been, buddy,
276
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,139
some, uh, faraway island resort?
277
00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,141
Oh, easy mistake, Norm,
278
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,644
but, no, I got this tan
right here in Beantown.
279
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,646
Is that at the new Tan 'N Wash
280
00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:04,647
I've been hearing so danged much about?
281
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:06,148
That's right, Normie.
282
00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:07,650
And, by the way, did you realize
283
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,151
that the tan first gained popularity
284
00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:11,037
in what is now known as the Bronze Age?
285
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,988
Great, great. Well, I'm sold.
286
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:15,991
Oh, and, by the way, look
how white I used to be.
287
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:22,798
You wore your socks
in the tanning booth?
288
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:25,301
Well, I, I gotta be careful, Sammy.
289
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:28,304
The Clavin men have, uh,
feet like a baby's bottom.
290
00:11:28,304 --> 00:11:31,924
With faces to match.
291
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:32,725
Will you back off, Carla?
292
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:34,727
I don't see you pitchin'
in for the cause here.
293
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:35,594
Yeah, yeah?
294
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:36,562
Well, all I know
295
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,565
is I wouldn't stick a fork in a toaster,
296
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,067
never mind my valuables.
297
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,069
Come on, guys.
298
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,438
Uh, whatta you say we
snap up these flyers?
299
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,939
They can't last forever.
300
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:49,442
Wouldn't be so sure, Norm.
301
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,443
You know, Peterson,
302
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,862
you've got the guts of a burglar.
303
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,363
In here peddling a tanning salon
304
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:55,865
on the sunniest day of the year.
305
00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:57,249
Outside of someone
306
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,584
with a financial interest in the place,
307
00:11:58,584 --> 00:11:59,585
who'd be stupid enough
308
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,087
to spend a minute in
your rip-off joint?
309
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,618
You try to help out a few
newly enterprising friends
310
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,120
and what do you get for your trouble?
311
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,123
45 minutes in hell.
312
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,624
Sit. Keep it down, will ya?
313
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,625
Keep it down here.
314
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,010
Keep it down?
315
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,878
I've got the worst sunburn of my life,
316
00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:44,880
thanks to a faulty thermo-regulator
317
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,882
on tanning machine number three,
318
00:12:46,882 --> 00:12:48,384
the Bahama Mama.
319
00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:50,302
Frasier,
320
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:53,305
you're supposed to start
off slowly, all right?
321
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:54,807
But I must say, you do have
322
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,308
one heck of a fantastic
323
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:57,810
base coat there, Fras.
324
00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:59,695
Yeah. Yeah, and your, uh,
325
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,981
your shirt sure smells fresher.
326
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,232
Really?
327
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:04,533
It's not too lemony?
328
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,035
Not for you.
329
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,539
(humming "Isn't It Romantic")
330
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:18,547
(humming)
331
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,218
Sorry.
332
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,805
(humming)
333
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,807
Well, it's just that
334
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,810
it's such a lovely, sunny day out...
335
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,314
as your tanned faces will attest.
336
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,318
Well, I guess I'm feeling
especially girlish.
337
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,820
How come, Miss Chambers?
338
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,321
Nah, nah, nah, don't, don't.
339
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,828
You know, Woody--
the usual thing
340
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,330
that puts a bounce in a girl's step.
341
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,332
Ah! Support hose.
342
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,839
You're adorable.
343
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,341
No, I'm referring to
344
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,343
a very special evening.
345
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,845
Oh, yeah, yeah.
346
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,848
Didn't you have a date
or something last night?
347
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,351
You know perfectly
well I saw Chad, but--
348
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,353
it was no big deal.
349
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:19,358
(humming "Isn't It Romantic")
350
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,860
Yeah.
351
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,363
I refuse to ask her about last night.
352
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,365
You ask her, Woody.
353
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,366
Gotcha.
354
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,871
Well, looky here.
355
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:36,375
The paper predicts the same
high for Boston as Honolulu.
356
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,878
That is Honolulu, Hawaii,
357
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,380
the state where you can get
a free tan all year round.
358
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,798
Carla, if you're
trying to say something,
359
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,800
why don't you just
spit it out, all right?
360
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,803
Tan 'N' Wash bites it.
361
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:50,806
Okay, I'll admit Indian
summer's killing us temporarily,
362
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,174
but this is Boston.
363
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:54,643
It's gonna get cold.
364
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,146
(humming "Isn't It Romantic")
365
00:15:02,351 --> 00:15:03,352
Hey, Sam.
366
00:15:03,352 --> 00:15:05,854
I found out all about
Miss Chambers' date.
367
00:15:05,854 --> 00:15:07,606
I mean, uh...
368
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:10,442
beautiful night of magic.
369
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:11,443
Just spill it, will ya, Woody?
370
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:16,448
Well, the ballet was exquisite,
371
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:18,450
but it paled by comparison
372
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:22,454
to the enchanting coach
ride under the stars.
373
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:27,459
Chad held her porcelain
- like hand lightly,
374
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,463
tracing tiny circles on her alamander...
375
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:32,464
Alabaster.
376
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:33,966
...alabaster skin,
377
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:39,972
and then, fearing that
the spell might be broken,
378
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,475
she invited him up
to her pied-de-teer
379
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,477
for some quiet conversation
380
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:47,479
and warm brandy, and then...
381
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:48,480
What?
382
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,482
Miss Chambers said if you want to hear
383
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,484
the rest, you gotta ask her yourself.
384
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:53,986
(laughing) Oh...
385
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,989
Forget it! Forget it, man!
386
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,490
Oh, ask her, Sam.
387
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,492
Sounds like you won't be disappointed.
388
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:01,994
Forget it.
389
00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:09,084
Frasier, a sunburn?
390
00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:11,804
No, I'm doing my impression
of a blood blister.
391
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,892
CARLA: Hey, Frasier.
392
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,645
You know, there's something I've
always been meaning to ask you.
393
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,146
What was your reaction
394
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,648
the first time you saw Diane naked?
395
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,649
(screams in pain)
396
00:16:32,775 --> 00:16:35,611
Normie, I can't hold out any longer.
397
00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:37,613
Ma's getting antsy.
398
00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:39,615
The last time she
spent a thousand dollars
399
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,616
was on a house.
400
00:16:40,616 --> 00:16:41,617
Cliff, I'm sorry.
401
00:16:41,617 --> 00:16:43,118
I-I really am, but you guys
402
00:16:43,118 --> 00:16:44,119
begged me to let ya in.
403
00:16:44,119 --> 00:16:45,587
It's not like I didn't warn you.
404
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,955
CARLA: Oh, sure.
405
00:16:46,955 --> 00:16:49,875
"Don't do this. I pray
to God you don't do this."
406
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,877
You call that a warning?
407
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,263
You know, I predicted this. You guys are
408
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,048
nervous Nellies and you're
trying to blame it all on me.
409
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,549
I want out, Norm.
410
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:58,550
Yeah, me, too.
411
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:00,436
Who wants a tan in the winter anyway?
412
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,854
Wait, wait. This is not the smart move.
413
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,855
You gotta hang in there.
414
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,356
You gotta roll with
the punches, all right?
415
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,858
You're gonna roll with the punches
416
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,109
if you don't get us outta this.
417
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:07,943
Nah, I just don't think
418
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:08,944
that we're cut out for it.
419
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,446
No. Apparently not, all right?
420
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,449
Yeah, geez, have it
your way, guys, okay?
421
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,950
Look, all right, I tell ya what. Okay?
422
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,453
I'll personally buy out
your shares, all right?
423
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,455
I'll have your checks in
the mail within a week.
424
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,824
Stupid mistake. Stupid.
425
00:17:21,824 --> 00:17:23,208
Stupid.
426
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,752
Ooh, ooh, boy.
427
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:36,255
It's still snowing out there.
428
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,640
Yeah, and every flake means
429
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,927
another buck in Norm's pocket.
430
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,312
You, you guys still moaning
431
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,813
because Norm hit the
jackpot and you didn't?
432
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,815
Hey, come on, Paul, give us some credit
433
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,817
for being adults, huh?
434
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,320
Hey, what do you say we
toilet paper his house?
435
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,822
Nah, it'd only make it look better.
436
00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:57,860
Sam, excuse me.
437
00:17:57,860 --> 00:17:59,745
May I have your ear for a moment?
438
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,081
Sure. Just don't leave any bite marks.
439
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,834
Sam, I've decided
440
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,337
to break off my relationship with Chad.
441
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,288
Who?
442
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,041
What an actor you are.
443
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:14,843
You know, if you hadn't
chosen bartending,
444
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:15,711
you could well have had
445
00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:17,463
a career in the theater.
446
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,931
Or as a model.
447
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,435
Anyway, you needn't continue
448
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,437
this charade of nonchalance.
449
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,439
I'm ending my affaire de coeur
450
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:31,443
because I can sense how it's
secretly gnawing away at you.
451
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,948
Okay. all right.
452
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,449
I'm glad.
453
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,452
All I've been able to
think about is you and Chad.
454
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,788
In your apartment.
455
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,541
In his car, on the stairs.
456
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:49,044
Doing things even we never did.
457
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,412
I mean, I can't eat,
458
00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:51,330
I can't sleep.
459
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,714
Oh, Sam. Really?
460
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,551
Gee, maybe I could have been an actor.
461
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:56,919
Oh!
462
00:18:59,922 --> 00:19:01,807
Afternoon, everybody.
463
00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:06,929
Norm!
464
00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:09,932
Norman.
465
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:13,435
How're you feeling today, Norm?
466
00:19:13,435 --> 00:19:14,436
Rich and thirsty.
467
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:15,437
Pour me a beer.
468
00:19:16,438 --> 00:19:18,440
Yes, sir, Mr. Peterson.
469
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,326
Boy, you sure have
gotten successful, huh?
470
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,112
Well, Woody, you know what
they say about success.
471
00:19:24,112 --> 00:19:26,999
It's one percent inspiration
and 99 percent perspiration.
472
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,333
So is your shirt.
473
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,118
Yeah, and you know what else they
474
00:19:30,118 --> 00:19:33,088
say about success
there, Mr. Rockeflounder?
475
00:19:34,456 --> 00:19:36,625
It's lonely at the top.
476
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:38,927
Yeah, but the food's better, Cliff.
477
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,763
Hey, you don't have to rub
478
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:42,764
our noses in it, man.
479
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,133
I mean, we're your friends, after all.
480
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:46,101
Friends?
481
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,103
You call yourselves friends?
482
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,605
The last four or five
times I've walked in here,
483
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,607
you treat me as if I've
done something wrong.
484
00:19:53,976 --> 00:19:55,811
You know, not one of
you guys has bothered
485
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:57,196
to congratulate me for my success.
486
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,314
Which, I might add, you all had
487
00:19:59,314 --> 00:20:01,483
a chance to share in.
488
00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:05,954
Maybe I should just take my
refreshment business elsewhere.
489
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,957
When I think of all the
hours I wasted in here
490
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,460
when I could have been
wasting them somewhere else.
491
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,462
DIANE: Norman, Norman.
492
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,963
Please don't leave.
493
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,965
We're taking it out on you,
494
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,967
but we're really mad at ourselves.
495
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,970
The hostility you're feeling
is for our own stupidity
496
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,472
at bailing out of this project.
497
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,340
Right, everyone?
498
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,729
You guys are beautiful.
499
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,731
Oh, well, come on, wait a second.
500
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,900
Come on back here.
501
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,184
Yeah, we've been actin'
like creeps, Normie.
502
00:20:36,184 --> 00:20:38,403
CARLA: I'll fluff up
your favorite stool.
503
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,689
Yeah, I'll open a fresh bag of pretzels.
504
00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:41,690
And I'll pour you a beer
505
00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:43,692
just the way you like
it-- within reach.
506
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,863
What we're trying to say here is,
507
00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:48,747
we're sorry.
508
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:49,748
CLIFF: Yeah.
509
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,500
You had the guts to stick it out,
510
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,702
and we didn't, and you deserve
511
00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:55,921
all the success now.
512
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,173
Thank you, Sam. Guys.
513
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,175
I'm really glad to
hear that because, uh,
514
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,677
I have a little surprise for you guys.
515
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,679
I never took you out
of Tan 'N' Wash at all.
516
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,180
And here are your first dividend checks
517
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:06,181
right here, huh?
518
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:07,683
Oh, Norman!
519
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,184
You're kidding me.
520
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,186
(all talking excitedly)
521
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:14,189
ALL: ? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
522
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,191
? For he's a jolly good fellow, ?
523
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,560
? For he's a jolly good
fellow, ? (phone rings)
524
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,561
WOODY: Cheers.
525
00:21:19,561 --> 00:21:20,312
It's for you.
526
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:21,196
Put 'em on hold.
527
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:25,567
? Which nobody can deny. ?
528
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:26,451
Hey. All right.
529
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,452
This is great.
530
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,204
Hey, look at that! It's snowing
531
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:30,038
even harder out now.
532
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,290
Oh, it's a harbinger
533
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,624
of good fortune!
534
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,376
You said it, bone butt!
535
00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:39,798
Snow today means dough tomorrow.
536
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,583
Hey, let's carry Mr. Peterson
537
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:43,085
around the bar on our shoulders
538
00:21:43,585 --> 00:21:45,087
and then go play in the snow.
539
00:21:45,087 --> 00:21:47,089
Let's go play in the snow.
540
00:21:47,089 --> 00:21:48,590
Hold it! Hold it!
541
00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:50,592
Last one out's a Clavin.
542
00:21:51,593 --> 00:21:53,595
No, you're not. You're
not gonna get me this time.
543
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:58,100
Oh, I'm always the Clavin.
544
00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:02,604
Ah, Woody. Woody, Woody, Woody.
545
00:22:02,604 --> 00:22:03,989
Look at them, huh?
546
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:04,940
Isn't that great?
547
00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,825
They're singin' and dancin'.
548
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,744
It gives me a great feeling all over
549
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,612
to do something good for those people.
550
00:22:10,612 --> 00:22:13,448
Oh, speaking of people,
you got one on hold here.
551
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:20,422
Hello. Yeah, hi.
552
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,923
Oh, no. No.
553
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,925
No, get out. No!
554
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,427
What're you...?
555
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,928
No, man, no!
556
00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:28,930
No...
557
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:29,931
Well, at least we...
558
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:31,933
No?!
559
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,936
We, no, but wait a, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
560
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,943
Bad news, Mr. Peterson?
561
00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:45,647
Wrong number, Woody.
562
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:47,949
Aren't those annoying?
563
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:06,968
(all yelling, laughing)
564
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:09,971
Uh... Huh! Guys! Good friends!
565
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:12,474
Listen, people, uh, excuse me!
566
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,976
Listen, I know things have
been going just beautifully,
567
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:16,845
but, uh, hey, would you stop jumping
568
00:23:16,845 --> 00:23:19,181
up and down for a second?!
569
00:23:19,181 --> 00:23:20,682
Thank you.
570
00:23:20,682 --> 00:23:23,685
Now let's just take a
hypothetical situation.
571
00:23:23,685 --> 00:23:26,688
Just for fun, let's just
say that the roof collapsed
572
00:23:26,688 --> 00:23:29,191
over at Tan 'N' Wash from
the weight of all this snow
573
00:23:29,191 --> 00:23:31,693
and by some little quirk we
didn't have any insurance.
574
00:23:31,693 --> 00:23:33,695
How would you guys feel about that, huh?
575
00:23:39,201 --> 00:23:40,702
Just checking.
576
00:23:41,702 --> 00:23:51,702
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577
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:58,771
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