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[Olaf Andersen] Uh, ladies and
gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please.
4
00:01:01,934 --> 00:01:03,853
Your attention.
5
00:01:03,936 --> 00:01:05,146
I think you all know our guests
of honor today.
6
00:01:06,230 --> 00:01:08,441
Our great congressman,
Jeff Johnson,
7
00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:11,277
and Vera Johnson,
his lovely and gracious wife.
8
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,407
Many of you know that Jeff is now completely
recovered from a triple bypass operation.
9
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:17,701
Doesn't he look great?
10
00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:21,538
I never felt better.
11
00:01:21,621 --> 00:01:25,167
Before I turn the floor over to the
congressman, I'd like to thank my old friends,
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00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:28,336
Mr. And Mrs. Zeke Bridges, for the use
of their wonderful, lovely home.
13
00:01:29,421 --> 00:01:31,381
[Andersen]
Thank you, Zeke.
14
00:01:31,423 --> 00:01:33,675
Now, sirs,
ladies and gentlemen,
15
00:01:33,717 --> 00:01:36,845
- In the 20 years of the great...
- Som-bitch!
16
00:01:38,889 --> 00:01:41,892
Uh... well, seems like
a host's work is never done.
17
00:01:41,975 --> 00:01:44,394
- [Laughing]
- Now, in the 20 years...
18
00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:48,857
that the Honorable Jefferson Davis Johnson
has been our representative in Congress...
19
00:01:48,899 --> 00:01:51,693
Excuse me. Pardon me.
What do you say, Pete?
20
00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:53,737
- [Andersen] Whatever our walk of life:
- Excuse me.
21
00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:55,572
- Utilities, pharmaceuticals...
- Pardon me. Hi, Malcolm.
22
00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:58,742
One bourbon sour straight up
with extra orange,
23
00:01:58,825 --> 00:02:00,702
and one gibson, no onion,
24
00:02:00,744 --> 00:02:02,954
and two white wine spritzers
and a Lowenbrau.
25
00:02:03,038 --> 00:02:05,999
[Jamaican Accent] Allow me to light your
cigarette for you. Hold this for me, sir.
26
00:02:06,041 --> 00:02:09,211
The way your hair matches your eyes,
I don't know how I can control myself.
27
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:11,171
Excuse me,
I'll get those drinks.
28
00:02:11,254 --> 00:02:15,384
I can't believe that you're Inga.
You don't look Swedish.
29
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,594
You're so different
from your picture.
30
00:02:17,677 --> 00:02:19,930
[Swedish Accent]
That wasn't me on the TV,
31
00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:23,559
but that sure was me
on the telephone.
32
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,853
[Normal Voice]
You want me to prove it, Zeke?
33
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:30,983
You told me that you want me
to tie you up and beat you with...
34
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,821
My God, Inga,
that was on the phone.
35
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:38,574
I never thought you'd be in my house.
You've got to get outta here.
36
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:42,578
[Swedish Accent] But you told me you
wanted me! You told me to quit my job.
37
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,248
[Normal Voice]
And now, honey, here I am.
38
00:02:45,289 --> 00:02:49,877
- Not now, waiter. Please!
- Don't worry about a thing. I'll handle this. You!
39
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:53,756
Bag on the floor,
hands in the air. Do it!
40
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,801
Sergeant Brown, vice squad,
undercover operations.
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00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,221
- I know who you are, dirty pig!
- Shut up! You're under arrest.
42
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:04,434
- My God, what's goin' on here? - Sir, you've been
the target of a ruthless gang of con artists.
43
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:08,479
It all started when you called
the "Girls of Many Nations" party line.
44
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,481
It's 1-900-phone-sex?
45
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,109
You put it on your credit card
instead of your phone bill...
46
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,778
'cause you didn't want your wife
to see it, right? Big mistake.
47
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,282
The gang used your credit card number to
find out everything they could about you.
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00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:22,452
It's the gang's M.O. to wait until
the victim's having a big party...
49
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,204
and will do anything, pay big money,
to avoid embarrassment.
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00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,957
Embarrassment?
Som-bitch!
51
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,710
This goes beyond embarrassment!
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00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:34,465
A hundred of my very best friends
paid a thousand dollars apiece...
53
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,425
to have a drink
with Congressman Johnson.
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00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:40,637
Not to mention the fact my wife
is probably looking for me right now.
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00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,140
That is exactly what
their evil scheme is depending on.
56
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,642
In fact, any second now,
a huge Latino man's...
57
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:49,146
- Gonna burst in pretending
he's an outraged husband. - Inga!
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00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,981
- What're you doin' with my wife?
- Senor...
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00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,984
- [Bridges] It's okay, Alice.
- My friend, rum and coke.
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00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,028
Don't let anyone else in, please.
Thanks.
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00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,197
- [Armando] Did he touch you?
- I got your rum and coke.
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00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,949
There's your rum and coke,
and she can drink it with you!
63
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,410
- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]
- Hey, i callate la boca.
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00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:06,330
I callate la boca ahora!
I ahora asi!
65
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:14,004
Now you see how they were gonna plan
to con you outta your money.
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00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,757
But I know better, 'cause I know
you're a courageous citizen.
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00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,218
- And I know you're gonna testify.
Yes, you're gonna testify. - Oh!
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00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:22,137
- I can't testify.
- Sure you can. All you've done was phone sex.
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00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:24,890
- A lot of people have done that.
- He wanted me to tie him up...
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00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,393
and spank him with
a wet garter belt.
71
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:30,145
- [Chuckling] No, no, not me. No, no.
- [Thomas] Excuse me.
72
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:33,148
That is between the fantasy hostess and
the freak. I don't even wanna hear it.
73
00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,858
- "Freak"?
- Hey, poppy.
74
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:38,487
I got a tape in the car. Eight-track
or cassette. You wanna hear it?
75
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:41,073
- No, no! No, no! Thank you very much.
- Sir, please.
76
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:45,245
They're trying to intimidate you by telling you
that they have an audio tape of you freaking on...
77
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,831
Did you think you were gonna intimidate
him? You're not intimidating him.
78
00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:51,334
He's going to testify, because
his family may not know he's a freak,
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00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:53,878
but he's been married 20, 30 years.
His wife knows he's a freak.
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00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,341
"Freak"? Uh, Sergeant Brown, I have
to talk to you in private, please.
81
00:04:58,425 --> 00:05:01,678
Mr. Bridges, I can't leave
the suspects by themselves.
82
00:05:01,761 --> 00:05:04,639
Well, let's, uh, lock 'em
in the crapper.
83
00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:08,268
Okay, come on.
Move in the bathroom.
84
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,770
- Come on, man, move it. Come on!
- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]
85
00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:13,273
Hey, hey! Vamonos,
muchachos, goddamn it!
86
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:17,902
Now you've all met my
legislative assistant, Kimberly.
87
00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:20,530
Kimberly and my fine staff,
along with myself,
88
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:24,033
will be available to you
24 hours a day.
89
00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:27,036
I'm proud to be
your man in Washington.
90
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,415
I plan to keep goin' back
as long as you keep sendin' me.
91
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,208
[Cheering]
92
00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:34,210
Please listen, Sergeant.
93
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:37,881
- I'm the chairman of a large, conservative
insurance company. - I know that.
94
00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:41,384
I know your chief, Sergeant Brown.
Help me and you'll be Lieutenant Brown.
95
00:05:41,468 --> 00:05:43,845
Just get these people
the hell outta here quietly.
96
00:05:43,928 --> 00:05:46,598
Mr. Bridges, I know
these people. Okay?
97
00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:49,017
If you let them go,
they're just gonna blackmail you.
98
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,102
I don't care.
What do they want?
99
00:05:51,144 --> 00:05:55,107
- Goin' by their other victims, it costs like $5,000.
- Okay.
100
00:05:57,109 --> 00:05:59,028
That's 5,000 each, you know.
101
00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:00,738
Okay.
102
00:06:02,782 --> 00:06:05,618
You know there's
four people in the gang.
103
00:06:05,701 --> 00:06:08,454
- Twenty thousand dollars?
- See, that's what I'm tellin' you.
104
00:06:08,496 --> 00:06:10,915
- I think you should testify.
- No, I can't.
105
00:06:10,956 --> 00:06:14,126
- Please put your money away, sir.
- Look, it's...
106
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:18,964
It's just that I don't have that
much cash. I've only got $12,000.
107
00:06:19,048 --> 00:06:21,801
- And there's four people in the gang.
- Wait a minute.
108
00:06:21,884 --> 00:06:25,471
- My rolex. - Oh, Mr. Bridges, no.
No, no, no. Please, sir.
109
00:06:25,513 --> 00:06:27,473
No, it's worth $10,000.
110
00:06:27,515 --> 00:06:30,893
Oh, Mr. Bridges, I don't wanna take your
watch, I don't wanna take your money.
111
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:33,354
- Besides, they don't want a watch. They want cash.
- Take the damn money!
112
00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:37,650
Take the watch, please!
Get them outta here and get that tape.
113
00:06:46,075 --> 00:06:48,202
You know this goes against
my every principle.
114
00:06:48,285 --> 00:06:50,246
Darlin', don't you look wonderful.
115
00:06:50,329 --> 00:06:53,874
Glad to see ya. Nice to...
Hey, how's that knee, huh?
116
00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:57,169
- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey! [Spanish, Indistinct]
117
00:06:57,253 --> 00:06:59,130
Inga will miss you!
Bye-bye.
118
00:06:59,213 --> 00:07:02,383
What are you doin'?
I gotta go get the tape.
119
00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:05,762
I don't want you to give them the money
until I get the tape in my hand.
120
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:08,640
Come with me.
121
00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:12,310
Chief!
122
00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:15,731
By golly,
am I glad to see you.
123
00:07:15,814 --> 00:07:18,024
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had an emergency.
124
00:07:18,066 --> 00:07:20,235
You know Sergeant...
125
00:07:20,318 --> 00:07:23,029
[Bridges]
Where'd he go?
126
00:07:23,071 --> 00:07:25,866
Sergeant Brown, the vice squad.
127
00:07:25,949 --> 00:07:27,993
We don't have a vice squad.
128
00:07:30,036 --> 00:07:33,540
You don't have a...
Som-bitch!
129
00:07:33,623 --> 00:07:35,876
Oh, waiter,
where's my bourbon sour?
130
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:38,211
Oh, you must think I'm Kareem.
I'm Jamal.
131
00:07:38,253 --> 00:07:40,422
He stiff you on your
drinks too? He fired.
132
00:07:40,505 --> 00:07:45,427
Kareem! Wait right there. Kareem, where's
this woman's drink? This woman's thirsty!
133
00:07:45,469 --> 00:07:50,390
- [Man] I've always enjoyed the time
we've spent together. - [Woman] Oh, thank you.
134
00:07:50,432 --> 00:07:53,226
[Man] Why don't we
sit down over here?
135
00:07:56,271 --> 00:07:58,065
[Guests Laughing]
136
00:07:59,941 --> 00:08:03,945
Olaf, I'm thinking
of retiring from Congress.
137
00:08:04,029 --> 00:08:07,324
You can't retire. You just promised
all these people you're gonna run again.
138
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:10,786
That was a political promise.
You know better than to believe that.
139
00:08:10,827 --> 00:08:13,413
[Andersen]
Zeke, come here. Listen to this.
140
00:08:13,497 --> 00:08:15,457
Have you all seen a waiter
come through here?
141
00:08:15,499 --> 00:08:17,752
No, I haven't, but, Zeke,
I need your help. Hey!
142
00:08:17,794 --> 00:08:20,797
- What's got into Zeke?
- Damned if I know.
143
00:08:20,838 --> 00:08:25,426
Listen, Jeff, you know you got
the best job in the world, don't you?
144
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,762
You get to go hunting, fishing,
skiing and golfing.
145
00:08:27,804 --> 00:08:30,640
The best resorts. Then you get
to call it, "official business," huh?
146
00:08:30,723 --> 00:08:34,394
And, Jeff, you know there's
no aphrodisiac like power.
147
00:08:34,477 --> 00:08:37,980
Are you tired of having the most beautiful
and intelligent women in this country?
148
00:08:38,064 --> 00:08:40,608
Ah, the joy's gone out
of Congress, Olaf.
149
00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:42,652
No, that perks thing
was the last straw.
150
00:08:42,693 --> 00:08:45,238
And who needs the aggravation?
Life's too short.
151
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:47,323
Yeah, well, look, Jeff.
You can't retire.
152
00:08:47,365 --> 00:08:51,035
If I retire this year,
I get to keep $1.3 million...
153
00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:53,246
that's left in my campaign fund.
154
00:08:53,287 --> 00:08:55,248
It's called
"the grandfather loophole."
155
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:59,961
All right, Jeff.
I got it. Come here.
156
00:09:00,002 --> 00:09:03,965
There's this small software company
that's about to go through the roof.
157
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:07,552
Now, what you do, you buy a few thousand
dollars worth of stock options.
158
00:09:07,635 --> 00:09:12,223
It's gonna bring in a half a million
dollars easy. That's just for openers.
159
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:14,684
Huh?
160
00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:20,148
If you put it like that,
I suppose I...
161
00:09:20,189 --> 00:09:23,526
have a duty to continue
my career in public service.
162
00:09:23,609 --> 00:09:27,030
"Duty"! [Chuckles]
You're something else, Jeff.
163
00:09:28,365 --> 00:09:31,285
I am definitely
in the wrong business.
164
00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:49,553
- Som-bitch!
- Well?
165
00:09:52,514 --> 00:09:54,391
- Som-bitch!
- Yes!
166
00:09:54,475 --> 00:09:57,644
- [Laughing Together]
- [Swedish Accent] I love it!
167
00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:01,899
[Grunting, Groaning]
168
00:10:01,982 --> 00:10:05,694
- [Woman Sighing]
- [Johnson] Ohh! Oh, Kimberly!
169
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,738
[Kimberly]
Oh, Congressman!
170
00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:10,699
[Johnson] Oh, Kimberly,
you're so good! Yeah!
171
00:10:10,741 --> 00:10:13,035
Oh! Oh God! Oh, Oh!
Oh, I got a cramp!
172
00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:15,704
I got a cramp. It's okay,
don't stop. Don't stop!
173
00:10:15,788 --> 00:10:18,957
Oh! Yeah, yeah!
Oh, God, yes, yes!
174
00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:21,126
- Kimberly! Yeah!
- Oh, Congressman!
175
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:25,172
- Oh, now, now! Yeah! Oh! Oh, my God!
- Oh, Congressman!
176
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:28,133
Oh, my God!
Oh, my... [Gagging]
177
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:31,678
[Kimberly Panting]
178
00:10:31,762 --> 00:10:34,098
[Panting]
179
00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:37,769
Oh, my God!
180
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,939
## [Funeral Organ]
181
00:10:41,022 --> 00:10:43,566
[Dick Dodge]
It was my honor...
182
00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:47,278
to serve with Jeff Johnson
in Congress for a generation.
183
00:10:47,362 --> 00:10:51,074
No one was a better legislator,
a better husband.
184
00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:55,995
We're gonna miss him. But we are
grateful that his passing was peaceful.
185
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:59,416
The consummate public servant,
186
00:10:59,457 --> 00:11:03,503
working late into the night
at his desk.
187
00:11:07,132 --> 00:11:09,259
- Thank you.
- [Dodge] Vera?
188
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:12,095
- Let me talk to you for a minute in here.
- Excuse me.
189
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,431
Uh, now...
190
00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:19,102
I know that, uh, you're still
in shock over Jeff's passing,
191
00:11:19,185 --> 00:11:23,398
- But we need to talk about his seat.
- We do?
192
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,901
I would like for you to announce
that you're gonna run for Congress.
193
00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:28,903
With your name, you can't lose.
194
00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:33,700
Mrs. Jeff Johnson
would win in a walk.
195
00:11:33,783 --> 00:11:36,786
Dick, I've been
a Washington wife for 20 years.
196
00:11:36,828 --> 00:11:39,205
I think that's enough bullshit
for one lifetime.
197
00:11:39,289 --> 00:11:42,584
I'd help. I'd be running
the office night and day.
198
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,128
I'm sure you would, dear.
But I couldn't give you...
199
00:11:45,211 --> 00:11:47,965
the same kind of job satisfaction
Jeff gave you.
200
00:11:52,386 --> 00:11:54,430
Uh-huh.
201
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,851
How did I end up with a thief
for a grandson?
202
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:00,895
Hey! Aha!
Hey, thieves steal.
203
00:12:00,978 --> 00:12:03,314
I con, all right?
It's different. I'm an artist.
204
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,524
I'm a con artist.
205
00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:08,944
- Hey, look! There's the new ad.
- Hey.
206
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:12,948
[Loretta As Inga] I am Inga.
I am here from Sweden.
207
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:14,950
And I'm so lonely.
208
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,454
I need a man,
and so do my girlfriends.
209
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:22,374
Maria, my hot-blooded
Spanish friend.
210
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,127
- Babette, zee Parisian pussycat...
- [Meows]
211
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:29,382
- And many others.
- I hope you sprain your lips from doin' this.
212
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:32,927
- I hope your lip muscles freeze up.
- We take all major credit cards.
213
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:36,013
[Loretta As Inga] So call
the Girls of Many Nations at...
214
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:43,187
[Swedish Accent] What do you think
of my accent, Grandma?
215
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:46,357
- Very, very good. Hey, hey.
- [Telephone Ringing]
216
00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:52,113
Thank you for calling "Girls
of Many Nations" party line.
217
00:12:52,196 --> 00:12:56,992
For hot-blooded
Italian wildcats, press one now.
218
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:03,333
For perky American cheerleaders,
press two now.
219
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:08,463
For a busty Swedish love goddess,
press three now.
220
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:11,466
- [Single Tone]
- Another customer for Inga.
221
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,552
Don't you dare
talk to that man!
222
00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:18,640
[Swedish Accent]
Hello, this is Inga.
223
00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:21,768
Oh, hello, Paul.
How are you?
224
00:13:21,852 --> 00:13:25,981
Oh! [Giggles] Tell me,
Paul, do you have Mastercard?
225
00:13:26,064 --> 00:13:29,025
If you don't hang up that phone,
I will flush it down the toilet!
226
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,403
Uh, no, Paul.
Call me later, please.
227
00:13:31,486 --> 00:13:33,447
What's the matter with you?
This is my business.
228
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:36,074
You are not only a con man,
you get your cousin Loretta...
229
00:13:36,158 --> 00:13:38,493
- To help you by talkin' dirty? Shame on you!
- Granny!
230
00:13:38,577 --> 00:13:42,080
You mad 'cause you can't show my picture
around the pool no more, Grandma?
231
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,165
Of course not.
232
00:13:44,249 --> 00:13:47,210
Look what these arthritic hands
have been doin'.
233
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,421
- Oh...
- Don't "oh." What are you "oh-ing"?
234
00:13:49,463 --> 00:13:51,840
Thomas Jefferson Johnson.
Why you keep usin' my middle name?
235
00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:54,384
It sound like a tap dancer
or somethin'.
236
00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:58,388
Make me proud of you, Thomas.
Make me proud of the name you carry.
237
00:13:58,472 --> 00:14:03,018
I'm Ned Grable, Vice President
and General Manager of WFL.
238
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:06,104
We think Mrs. Jeff Johnson
did the right thing...
239
00:14:06,188 --> 00:14:10,651
in not running for the congressional
seat left vacant by her husband's death.
240
00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:13,529
Jeff Johnson's name
may still be magic,
241
00:14:13,613 --> 00:14:16,991
but it'll take more than
the magic of name recognition...
242
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:19,285
to solve our region's problems.
243
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,329
I'm Ned Grable.
244
00:14:22,497 --> 00:14:24,457
Name recognition.
245
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:26,584
Lordy, what a notion.
246
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,753
People would have to be
some kind of boobs...
247
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:33,007
just to vote for somebody
because their name was Johnson.
248
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:37,387
I remember once back in Georgia.
They even elected a dead man.
249
00:14:37,470 --> 00:14:40,431
His name was still
on the ballot and...
250
00:14:40,473 --> 00:14:43,351
folks were just
used to voting for him.
251
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,740
[Loretta]
Okay. Bye-bye.
252
00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:04,580
My friends, I wanna
tell y'all about a town...
253
00:15:04,664 --> 00:15:06,916
where the streets
are paved with gold.
254
00:15:06,999 --> 00:15:11,629
I'm talkin' about a town where the marks
will take you to dinner after you fuck 'em.
255
00:15:11,712 --> 00:15:15,633
I'm talkin' about a place that, when they
run outta money, they just print some more.
256
00:15:15,717 --> 00:15:19,179
In this town, a cat bounced 900 checks,
didn't even have to go to jail.
257
00:15:19,221 --> 00:15:21,724
- You mean "Las Begas."
- No, not "Las Begas."
258
00:15:21,807 --> 00:15:24,685
No, honey, he's talkin'
about Washington, D.C.
259
00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:27,271
l... You all ready for this?
260
00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:29,773
I am running for Congress.
261
00:15:31,692 --> 00:15:34,278
- What is this, a joke?
- What's the con, T?
262
00:15:34,361 --> 00:15:36,280
Yeah, I don't get it, man.
263
00:15:36,363 --> 00:15:39,032
- Yo, man, Van Dyke.
- Yeah.
264
00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:41,744
- You remember Willie Sutton?
- My hero.
265
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:45,038
What did Willie Sutton say when they
asked him how come he robbed banks?
266
00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:48,083
- That's where the money is.
- Exactly.
267
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,961
Washington, D.C.
That's where the money is.
268
00:15:51,044 --> 00:15:53,881
Listen, I have been doin' some research.
I've been to the library.
269
00:15:53,922 --> 00:15:57,092
- [Laughing] - Why you laughing?
Congressmen, when they get elected,
270
00:15:57,176 --> 00:16:00,679
they get $130,000 a year.
That's their base salary.
271
00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:04,683
But then they have these things called "PACs."
Okay, political action committees, right?
272
00:16:04,725 --> 00:16:08,312
Then there's these lobbyists. The lobbyists'
whole point in life is to buy you off.
273
00:16:08,395 --> 00:16:10,522
They buy you off
and it's totally legal.
274
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:14,109
It's the con of a lifetime,
and I know we can do this shit.
275
00:16:14,193 --> 00:16:16,070
Who "we," white man?
276
00:16:16,111 --> 00:16:19,031
Us! We! Us! If I get elected,
I gotta have a staff.
277
00:16:19,073 --> 00:16:22,076
I'm gonna get a staff allowance.
It says here that new Congress...
278
00:16:22,159 --> 00:16:25,704
- You get a staff allowance of $537,000.
- [Armando] Ooh!
279
00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:27,706
- Damn!
- Senor!
280
00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:31,503
I get that kinda cash, I'm splitting it
up with my homies and my homette.
281
00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:34,130
How exactly are you gonna
get your butt to Congress?
282
00:16:34,214 --> 00:16:36,800
Yeah, T. Why the hell
would anybody vote for you?
283
00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:40,303
It's not like they're voting for me.
They're voting for name recognition.
284
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:42,305
The congressman here
was Jeff Johnson.
285
00:16:42,389 --> 00:16:44,516
My middle name is Jefferson,
last name is Johnson.
286
00:16:44,599 --> 00:16:46,810
Cut off the Thomas,
shorten the Jefferson,
287
00:16:46,893 --> 00:16:49,729
Jeff John... nobody knows that
their congressman is dead.
288
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:52,649
Who knows that Jeff is dead?
He's a congressman. Who cares?
289
00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:56,945
If I get on the ballot as Jeff Johnson,
nobody's gonna know.
290
00:16:56,986 --> 00:16:59,114
Well, how you gonna
get on the ballot?
291
00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:02,951
That's where you all
come into play.
292
00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:05,620
My friends, I need, uh,
[Chuckling]...
293
00:17:05,662 --> 00:17:09,249
I need, uh,
5,625 signatures.
294
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,335
- [Laughing]
- I knew this "we" shit had a catch.
295
00:17:12,419 --> 00:17:15,088
Hey, man, you all
got a better plan?
296
00:17:15,171 --> 00:17:17,132
I do.
297
00:17:19,175 --> 00:17:22,178
Who are these "Silver Foxes"?
Old people who just like to vote?
298
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:25,890
It's a political party. The big thing
is, they got their own line on the ballot.
299
00:17:25,974 --> 00:17:27,934
They already got the signatures.
300
00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:30,061
- May I help you?
- Uh, good afternoon.
301
00:17:30,145 --> 00:17:34,065
- We have an appointment to see Hattie Rifkin.
- Right.
302
00:17:34,149 --> 00:17:37,485
You wanna talk politics?
Talk.
303
00:17:37,527 --> 00:17:42,241
Uh, we was wonderin', who you gonna
run for Congress this year?
304
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:44,869
Ah, the usual sacrificial lamb.
305
00:17:44,952 --> 00:17:48,622
Probably Sylvia Roland.
She just lost her husband.
306
00:17:48,706 --> 00:17:52,084
She needs to meet new people.
Why?
307
00:17:52,168 --> 00:17:55,004
Miss Rifkin. I'd like to run
on the Silver Foxes' ticket.
308
00:17:55,045 --> 00:17:57,882
I believe and care
about you and your issues.
309
00:17:57,965 --> 00:18:00,593
That's what my son says,
but does he call?
310
00:18:00,676 --> 00:18:03,596
What makes you think
a group of alter kakers...
311
00:18:03,679 --> 00:18:06,432
is gonna support a man who hasn't
clipped his first nose hair yet?
312
00:18:06,515 --> 00:18:08,934
Because I can win.
313
00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:12,521
No, no. A Republican can win.
A Democrat can win.
314
00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:15,733
A Silver Fox can only make
a symbolic point.
315
00:18:15,816 --> 00:18:19,278
Mrs. Rifkin, if you get me on
the Silver Foxes' ballot line,
316
00:18:19,361 --> 00:18:21,655
- And if you give me the support...
- Lf, if.
317
00:18:21,697 --> 00:18:24,533
And di bubbeh volt gehat baitzim,
volt zi geven a zeyde.
318
00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:27,787
But got haste oykh
cane naar nit zine.
319
00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:31,624
- [Chuckling]
- Uh, what's all this?
320
00:18:31,707 --> 00:18:35,377
Oh, she just said that if my grandmother
had balls, she'd be my grandfather.
321
00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:38,172
And I told her that God
never told nobody to be stupid.
322
00:18:38,255 --> 00:18:40,633
Where the hell did you learn
to speak Yiddish?
323
00:18:40,716 --> 00:18:45,346
[Yiddish Accent] I learned it from Morris
Elfbein, da gin king of Miami Beach.
324
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:47,473
He taught me that
and he also taught me...
325
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:50,977
you don't always have to have
the best cards to win the hand.
326
00:18:51,061 --> 00:18:55,315
Maybe not in gin, but in politics,
young man, you need money to win.
327
00:18:55,399 --> 00:18:57,651
You need a name to win.
You need...
328
00:18:57,734 --> 00:19:00,278
- I do have a name.
- What, you're an athlete?
329
00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:07,077
- You're not on MTV, are you?
- My name is Johnson.
330
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,996
Jeff Johnson.
The name you know.
331
00:19:11,081 --> 00:19:13,083
Jeff Johnson?
332
00:19:15,919 --> 00:19:20,215
Well, that's a name even our
Alzheimer's group will remember.
333
00:19:20,257 --> 00:19:23,927
I'm not quite sure I understand,
Professor Franklin.
334
00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:27,472
You did your doctoral thesis
on my husband?
335
00:19:27,556 --> 00:19:30,100
Yes, Mrs. Johnson.
Your husband was a very great man.
336
00:19:30,183 --> 00:19:32,310
He did so much to help my people.
337
00:19:32,394 --> 00:19:35,814
I remember the time he said
that welfare is a drug...
338
00:19:35,856 --> 00:19:38,275
and you have to kick it
like cold turkey.
339
00:19:38,316 --> 00:19:41,903
And at the time, I was on welfare
and I did just that.
340
00:19:41,987 --> 00:19:44,698
It inspired me to get on with
my life. Very inspirational.
341
00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:46,950
Yes, well, really,
I'm sure if he were alive...
342
00:19:46,992 --> 00:19:49,578
I was actually in the audience one day
when he looked out and he said,
343
00:19:49,661 --> 00:19:53,957
"If you people'd just get off
your dead asses and go look for work,
344
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,376
maybe America can be a decent place
to live in again."
345
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:59,671
That inspired me.
My God, it made me move my ass.
346
00:19:59,755 --> 00:20:01,758
And I have a poster
of that on my wall,
347
00:20:01,841 --> 00:20:05,219
and I show it to all my relatives
and friends and Negroes.
348
00:20:05,303 --> 00:20:10,183
Really, well. It's kind of you to come
all the way from... Where was it?
349
00:20:10,266 --> 00:20:13,061
The Wilson Pickett State, uh,
Teachers' College, ma'am.
350
00:20:13,144 --> 00:20:16,564
But I didn't just come here to pay
my respects to your husband.
351
00:20:16,647 --> 00:20:19,650
I came here because, because
your husband deserves an archive...
352
00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:22,236
where students
can study his legacy.
353
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,865
- So you want his papers.
- Not just his papers, ma'am.
354
00:20:25,948 --> 00:20:29,911
I would like all buttons
and posters and bumper stickers...
355
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,747
and all the campaign paraphernalia
you can spare, ma'am.
356
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,792
I know you may have a sentimental attachment
to a lot of these things and you...
357
00:20:35,875 --> 00:20:39,003
- Take 'em.
- Pardon me?
358
00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:41,839
Take 'em all. Do you want
the wedding photos too?
359
00:20:43,382 --> 00:20:45,927
- Oh, I don't know if I think that's necessary.
- That's lucky.
360
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:48,429
So you won't have to go
rooting around in the garbage.
361
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:50,932
- Oh. Hmm.
- Hmm.
362
00:20:53,893 --> 00:20:56,062
You're in pretty good shape
for a professor.
363
00:20:57,605 --> 00:20:59,482
Do you work out?
364
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:03,194
Uh, why, yes. Do you?
365
00:21:03,236 --> 00:21:06,072
Why, yes.
366
00:21:06,155 --> 00:21:08,157
Hmm.
367
00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:20,754
[Van Dyke] Are you sure you don't
wanna come to Washington with us, Homer?
368
00:21:20,838 --> 00:21:23,048
No, I got a business to run.
369
00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:31,348
- Bye-bye.
- [Telephone Ringing]
370
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:34,852
Hello. Who?
371
00:21:36,645 --> 00:21:41,525
League of Women Voters. No,
Mr. Johnson will not attend the debate.
372
00:21:41,608 --> 00:21:45,195
No, I'm sorry, Betty. I cannot
tie up this line. Thank you.
373
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:49,700
- [Ringing]
- Hello?
374
00:21:49,783 --> 00:21:54,663
Star-Ledger. No, we're fresh out
of photographs of Mr. Johnson.
375
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:57,750
No, you can't. He's just had surgery
for a deviated septum.
376
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,878
Yeah, thank you.
377
00:22:00,961 --> 00:22:02,963
- [Ringing]
- Hello?
378
00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:07,509
[Swedish Accent]
Ja, this is Inga.
379
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:09,887
[Thomas Using "White" Accent]
Cast your vote for Jeff Johnson.
380
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:12,639
Good old Jeff,
the name that you can trust.
381
00:22:12,723 --> 00:22:17,394
The name that you know.
Jeff Johnson.
382
00:22:17,478 --> 00:22:20,189
[Chinese Accent] Why you no vote
Jeff Johnson? He the name you know.
383
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:23,401
Go down vote for Jeff.
Jeff Johnson, the name you know.
384
00:22:23,485 --> 00:22:26,905
[Homeboy Accent] Hey, you, eatin'
the greens, and you on the corn bread.
385
00:22:26,988 --> 00:22:29,949
Put that down and cast your vote
for Jeff Johnson, the name you know.
386
00:22:30,033 --> 00:22:33,912
You know it's good. Jeff is good,
just like them greens. Jeff and greens.
387
00:22:33,995 --> 00:22:36,331
When you think greens,
think Jeff Johnson.
388
00:22:36,414 --> 00:22:40,251
[Yiddish Accent] In this meshugeneh
world, you wanna vote for Jeff Johnson.
389
00:22:40,335 --> 00:22:44,881
I don't know why I gotta drive through here and
tell you this. You should know who to vote for.
390
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:48,051
Put a vote in for Jeff
because he's a good person.
391
00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,637
What, are you crazy?
392
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,681
["White" Accent] We're not gonna
show you Jeff Johnson waving a flag,
393
00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:56,059
and we're not gonna show you
Jeff Johnson kissing babies.
394
00:22:56,142 --> 00:23:00,313
We're not gonna show you Jeff Johnson
doing anything because you already know...
395
00:23:00,397 --> 00:23:02,357
what Jeff Johnson can do.
396
00:23:02,399 --> 00:23:06,861
Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson,
the name you know.
397
00:23:06,945 --> 00:23:08,988
- That sound white enough?
- That was very white.
398
00:23:09,072 --> 00:23:12,575
Yeah. That's chilling, actually.
Almost scared myself.
399
00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:14,244
Fantastic.
400
00:23:14,327 --> 00:23:17,831
Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson,
the name you know.
401
00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:32,805
Who do we vote for
for Congress?
402
00:23:32,888 --> 00:23:36,225
- Don't we always vote for Johnson?
- Ah, that's it, Johnson.
403
00:23:38,519 --> 00:23:41,981
If you're just joining us,
our exit polls project that in Florida,
404
00:23:42,064 --> 00:23:46,652
an unknown independent candidate,
whose sole asset appears to be his name,
405
00:23:46,736 --> 00:23:49,238
may just possibly win
a slim victory.
406
00:23:49,321 --> 00:23:53,576
[Cheering, Whistling]
407
00:23:53,659 --> 00:23:58,164
## [Calypso Version Of
"Happy Days Are Here Again"]
408
00:23:58,247 --> 00:24:00,207
Is that him? Is that him?
409
00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:05,171
Uh, Patricia, I believe that
Congressman-Elect Johnson has just arrived.
410
00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:09,759
[Armando]
Excuse me, please. Coming through.
411
00:24:09,842 --> 00:24:13,053
[Homer]
We need to get through, please.
412
00:24:13,137 --> 00:24:16,432
- Come on. Come on.
- Coming through. Thank you.
413
00:24:16,515 --> 00:24:18,559
[Man]
Congratulations!
414
00:24:18,642 --> 00:24:21,187
[Cheering]
415
00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:23,189
[Thomas]
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
416
00:24:23,230 --> 00:24:26,150
Hey! [Whistling]
Hey, thank you!
417
00:24:26,233 --> 00:24:30,988
Thank you so much!
People,
418
00:24:31,072 --> 00:24:36,035
we ran a positive campaign.
419
00:24:36,118 --> 00:24:39,121
We campaigned on the issue.
420
00:24:39,205 --> 00:24:42,792
The issue is change.
421
00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:46,338
Change for the future.
422
00:24:46,421 --> 00:24:48,381
The people have spoken!
423
00:24:55,263 --> 00:24:58,308
Ask not what your country
can do for you.
424
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:04,481
You have nothing to fear
but fear itself.
425
00:25:04,523 --> 00:25:08,860
If you can't stand the heat,
get out of the kitchen.
426
00:25:10,278 --> 00:25:12,697
Live free or die.
427
00:25:12,781 --> 00:25:16,576
And in conclusion,
read my lips.
428
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:18,787
[Cheering]
429
00:25:29,548 --> 00:25:31,591
Mira, mira, mira.
430
00:25:36,930 --> 00:25:39,099
The promised land.
431
00:25:40,934 --> 00:25:44,062
[P.A. Announcer]
Continental flight 228 to Chicago...
432
00:25:44,146 --> 00:25:48,358
Congressman Johnson.
Congressman Johnson, Arthur Reinhardt.
433
00:25:48,442 --> 00:25:50,736
You don't remember me.
434
00:25:50,819 --> 00:25:53,781
- I was Congressman Johnson's
administrative assistant. - Yes.
435
00:25:53,823 --> 00:25:56,033
I Fed Ex'ed all that material
to you down in Florida.
436
00:25:56,117 --> 00:25:58,119
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know.
437
00:25:58,202 --> 00:26:00,037
You look just like
I thought you would look.
438
00:26:00,121 --> 00:26:02,373
You see his little
wing-tip shoes on?
439
00:26:02,457 --> 00:26:04,375
Oh, l... Thank you.
440
00:26:04,459 --> 00:26:06,961
Congressman, I hope you don't think
I'm outta line for meeting you here.
441
00:26:07,003 --> 00:26:10,173
I just thought you might need help with
logistics, settling in at your hotel.
442
00:26:10,256 --> 00:26:13,676
Since you didn't make it to the Harvard
seminar for freshmen congressmen,
443
00:26:13,718 --> 00:26:16,637
I took the liberty of putting together
a set of their papers for you.
444
00:26:16,721 --> 00:26:20,641
Thank you for your initiative, but I gotta
admit to you, I've never been much of a student.
445
00:26:20,683 --> 00:26:23,561
But you can brief
my staff on that, you know.
446
00:26:25,646 --> 00:26:27,774
Uh, staff, what hotel
are we staying at?
447
00:26:27,857 --> 00:26:30,318
- You book the hotel?
- No. Talk to him.
448
00:26:30,401 --> 00:26:32,487
- You book the hotel?
- What hotel?
449
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:35,740
Nobody told me
about no damn hotel.
450
00:26:35,823 --> 00:26:38,326
Uh, is, uh, staff...
451
00:26:38,409 --> 00:26:42,789
obviously failed to nail
some vital details, so...
452
00:26:42,872 --> 00:26:45,833
Oh, geez,
the world bank's in town.
453
00:26:45,917 --> 00:26:47,960
Where we gonna find you a room?
454
00:26:49,045 --> 00:26:51,005
Hey, I kick your ass.
455
00:26:53,091 --> 00:26:56,094
You have to be firm
with the staff sometimes.
456
00:26:56,177 --> 00:27:00,556
[P.A. Announcer] Continental
flight 228 to Chicago O'Hare is now...
457
00:27:00,598 --> 00:27:02,809
I got lucky at the Hay-Adams.
458
00:27:02,892 --> 00:27:05,938
- There was a coup in Uruguay.
- Que?
459
00:27:06,021 --> 00:27:09,316
- What?
- Uruguay.
460
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,360
Anyway, their delegation
just checked out.
461
00:27:11,443 --> 00:27:14,321
You're a wizard, Reinhardt, and I knew
we could count on you. Let's go.
462
00:27:14,405 --> 00:27:16,323
- Hey, you got that?
- Yes, sir.
463
00:27:16,407 --> 00:27:18,367
[Loretta]
Careful with that bag.
464
00:27:18,450 --> 00:27:20,619
Don't throw it in there like that.
I paid too much for that bag.
465
00:27:20,702 --> 00:27:22,496
- Say, Congressman?
- Yo.
466
00:27:22,579 --> 00:27:25,249
I'd like to ask you something.
467
00:27:25,290 --> 00:27:29,837
I would appreciate it if you
would consider me to be your A.A.
468
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,757
Oh, that's very nice of you.
That's a very decent gesture.
469
00:27:33,799 --> 00:27:36,593
But yo, man, listen.
I'm a social drinker.
470
00:27:36,677 --> 00:27:40,013
I don't really hit
the bottle very much.
471
00:27:40,097 --> 00:27:42,516
Yeah, yeah. No, no. Uh,
472
00:27:42,599 --> 00:27:44,685
administrative assistant.
473
00:27:44,768 --> 00:27:48,063
- Oh! - As you know, I used to work
for Congressman Johnson.
474
00:27:48,105 --> 00:27:51,984
And I would like to work for you,
Congressman Johnson.
475
00:27:53,777 --> 00:27:57,531
So it would be sorta like an affirmative
action sorta thing. [Chuckles]
476
00:27:57,614 --> 00:28:00,242
Only kidding. I got your resume.
I'll call you, okay?
477
00:28:00,284 --> 00:28:03,746
- I'll look forward to hearing from you?
- Look forward to talking to you.
478
00:28:23,433 --> 00:28:25,477
[Giddy Chuckle]
479
00:28:29,355 --> 00:28:32,484
Ooh, baby!
480
00:28:41,534 --> 00:28:43,995
[Secretary]
Congressman Corman's office.
481
00:28:52,378 --> 00:28:55,757
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
482
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,009
[Chuckling]
483
00:28:59,427 --> 00:29:01,429
[Elevator Bell Rings]
484
00:29:03,890 --> 00:29:07,352
- Members only. - Oh, we're going up to
Congressman Johnson's office.
485
00:29:07,393 --> 00:29:10,188
I hate to be the one to tell you,
but Congressman Johnson died.
486
00:29:12,399 --> 00:29:15,985
I'm the new congressman. I'm Congressman
Johnson and this is my staff.
487
00:29:16,069 --> 00:29:18,863
I'm sorry, Congressman.
I didn't see your pin.
488
00:29:18,905 --> 00:29:22,617
In fact, I still
don't see your pin.
489
00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:25,621
- What pin?
- Your member-of-Congress pin.
490
00:29:27,790 --> 00:29:32,545
- I'm gonna have to look you up.
- I'm in the book under Johnson. Thomas Johnson.
491
00:29:32,586 --> 00:29:35,214
- Congressman.
- [Giggling]
492
00:29:35,297 --> 00:29:37,716
Thomas Jefferson Johnson.
493
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,303
- Yeah, I'm the man.
- No picture available.
494
00:29:41,387 --> 00:29:46,308
Oh, wait a second. I have my driver's
license with me. Got a picture in late.
495
00:29:46,392 --> 00:29:48,727
Here it...
If I can get it out.
496
00:29:50,062 --> 00:29:53,149
- Driver's license.
- Oh.
497
00:29:54,483 --> 00:29:57,862
See? Same cat.
498
00:29:57,945 --> 00:30:01,574
How could I ever have doubted you?
Where to?
499
00:30:01,615 --> 00:30:03,534
We're going up to 518.
500
00:30:03,576 --> 00:30:06,871
Well, the elevator only goes to four.
You'll have to take the stairs from there.
501
00:30:10,583 --> 00:30:14,044
Are you gonna be grabbin' my ass
like old Congressman Johnson?
502
00:30:14,086 --> 00:30:16,630
Oh, no. I would
never grab your ass.
503
00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:20,134
Well, you said that awful fast.
What's wrong with my ass?
504
00:30:20,217 --> 00:30:22,219
Oh, there's nothing
wrong with your ass.
505
00:30:22,303 --> 00:30:25,347
I'm just, you know, I'm just, what,
I'm, I'm the new congressman,
506
00:30:25,431 --> 00:30:28,017
and I won't be doin' none
of those things he did.
507
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:31,645
I ain't gonna grab nobody's old ass.
I mean, I ain't gonna grab nobody's ass.
508
00:30:31,729 --> 00:30:34,440
You know? Hey, I think we
on the fourth floor.
509
00:30:34,523 --> 00:30:37,194
I'll grab it.
510
00:30:38,779 --> 00:30:41,031
[Elevator Bell Ringing]
511
00:30:42,199 --> 00:30:45,285
Stairs are to the right.
Enjoy.
512
00:30:48,455 --> 00:30:50,373
Later, baby.
513
00:31:30,372 --> 00:31:32,374
Wait here a second.
514
00:31:39,673 --> 00:31:42,509
Good morning, Congressman.
515
00:31:42,551 --> 00:31:46,139
What is this shit-hole?
Look at this place. What is this?
516
00:31:46,222 --> 00:31:51,018
Oh, um... you missed
the freshman lottery for offices.
517
00:31:51,102 --> 00:31:53,187
They assign them by draw.
518
00:31:53,271 --> 00:31:57,525
You didn't show for the draw,
so you got the worst office in Congress.
519
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:59,360
What lottery?
I missed a lottery?
520
00:31:59,402 --> 00:32:02,780
It was all in those briefing books
I mailed you.
521
00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:08,161
What else have we missed here?
522
00:32:08,244 --> 00:32:10,997
Are you hiring me, Congressman?
523
00:32:12,290 --> 00:32:14,709
- It's a shakedown.
- Excuse me?
524
00:32:14,751 --> 00:32:18,755
Oh, ho-ho-ho! You're shaking
me down, aren't you?
525
00:32:18,838 --> 00:32:20,840
Okay, I'm gonna love this town.
526
00:32:20,923 --> 00:32:24,302
Okay, I've been here five minutes
and you're already shaking me down.
527
00:32:24,385 --> 00:32:26,304
All right, you're hired.
528
00:32:26,387 --> 00:32:30,016
Listen, fill me in on everything
'cause I don't wanna miss the good shit.
529
00:32:30,057 --> 00:32:35,021
## [Classical]
530
00:32:40,777 --> 00:32:43,404
[Indistinct Chatter]
531
00:32:45,448 --> 00:32:49,077
- Let's go meet the natives.
- Yeah.
532
00:32:49,118 --> 00:32:52,663
[Thomas] Can you be
a little more elegant than that?
533
00:32:52,747 --> 00:32:54,749
Shakin' your ass and shit.
534
00:32:58,420 --> 00:33:01,006
Hey, how ya doin'?
Thomas Johnson.
535
00:33:01,090 --> 00:33:04,259
Rafe Simon, freshman from Tulsa.
And this is...
536
00:33:04,343 --> 00:33:07,763
- Bo Chandler from, uh...
- Lufkin, Texas.
537
00:33:07,805 --> 00:33:10,390
Great party.
538
00:33:10,474 --> 00:33:13,769
You're Jeff Johnson,
the guy from Florida.
539
00:33:13,811 --> 00:33:15,562
Yeah, that's me.
540
00:33:15,646 --> 00:33:18,982
You know, the rest of us were
out there on the campaign trail,
541
00:33:19,066 --> 00:33:23,946
raising money, kissing ass, making speeches,
dragging our butts from place to place.
542
00:33:23,987 --> 00:33:26,115
And he slides in
on pure name recognition.
543
00:33:27,825 --> 00:33:30,994
Let me tell you something, Jeff.
544
00:33:31,078 --> 00:33:32,996
Fuckin' brilliant!
545
00:33:35,124 --> 00:33:39,086
I thought I was gonna have to kick
somebody's... Okay. Hey, no, I'm sorry.
546
00:33:39,128 --> 00:33:41,255
Thanks a lot.
And don't call me Jeff.
547
00:33:41,338 --> 00:33:44,633
Jeff is my working name. My name is
Thomas, and this is my cousin, Miss Loretta.
548
00:33:44,716 --> 00:33:49,471
How do you do? How do you do?
[Laughing]
549
00:33:49,513 --> 00:33:51,598
What were you guys before you
got elected? Lawyers or something?
550
00:33:51,682 --> 00:33:55,602
Oh, hey, no. I did morning weather
and traffic for KTOK in Tulsa.
551
00:33:55,686 --> 00:33:58,105
- Oh. [Laughing]
- [Chandler] You don't remember me?
552
00:33:58,188 --> 00:34:01,150
Tight end for the Oilers?
My knee gimped out on me?
553
00:34:01,191 --> 00:34:05,404
Oh, yes! Oh, hey, man.
I was wonderin' what happened to you.
554
00:34:05,487 --> 00:34:07,907
- Why don't you stop by my reception?
- Yeah, but don't go...
555
00:34:07,991 --> 00:34:09,784
to his reception before
you go to my reception.
556
00:34:09,868 --> 00:34:12,328
I'm gonna be offended
if you don't come by my reception.
557
00:34:12,370 --> 00:34:14,330
- Okay.
- [Thomas] Okay.
558
00:34:14,414 --> 00:34:16,791
I guess you're gonna
have to have a reception.
559
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:18,793
Yes, I guess we'll have
to have something.
560
00:34:18,877 --> 00:34:21,671
Shit, I don't know nothin'
about no reception.
561
00:34:21,713 --> 00:34:24,799
You know what I love about this town?
The way everybody call you a member.
562
00:34:24,841 --> 00:34:27,844
Every time I hear that,
it make me think about Mister Happy.
563
00:34:27,927 --> 00:34:30,388
- [Laughing]
- Hey, hey!
564
00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:34,184
Watch them sprinklets, man! He's
laughin' and piss shootin' everyplace.
565
00:34:34,225 --> 00:34:36,853
I got a sprinkler too now.
Back at ya!
566
00:34:36,936 --> 00:34:38,438
- Ow!
- All right, then.
567
00:34:39,898 --> 00:34:42,567
- Mike Hoyt, lowa.
- Thomas Johnson, Florida.
568
00:34:42,650 --> 00:34:46,613
So how'd you wind up in D.C., lowa? You
do the crop report on TV or somethin'?
569
00:34:46,696 --> 00:34:48,990
No, actually, I owe it all
to the Vietnamese.
570
00:34:49,032 --> 00:34:51,034
Oh, you're a war hero.
571
00:34:51,117 --> 00:34:53,578
P.O.W. When I got back
to Cedar Rapids,
572
00:34:53,620 --> 00:34:57,207
I spent so many years telling the Rotary
Club what was wrong in Washington...
573
00:34:57,248 --> 00:35:00,043
they finally told me to either
put up or shut up. Ha!
574
00:35:00,126 --> 00:35:02,128
So I put up, and here I am.
575
00:35:02,212 --> 00:35:05,548
What are you talkin' about? What's wrong
with Washington? Washington's great!
576
00:35:05,632 --> 00:35:08,843
Oh, come on. We got acid rain
killing fish and nobody's stopping it.
577
00:35:08,927 --> 00:35:11,387
There's topsoil being washed away.
No erosion programs.
578
00:35:11,429 --> 00:35:14,390
- Why, there's chemicals in the livestock that...
- We might have some luck.
579
00:35:14,432 --> 00:35:17,519
My God, I sound like a boy scout.
[Laughing]
580
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,690
No, actually, that's nice. This town
could use a few geeks like you.
581
00:35:24,318 --> 00:35:27,113
- Hi.
- Pete Slocum, Asbestos Information Institute.
582
00:35:27,196 --> 00:35:29,115
How are ya, Pete?
Nice to meet ya.
583
00:35:29,198 --> 00:35:31,242
Ken Korngold, National
Distilled Spirits Association.
584
00:35:31,325 --> 00:35:33,411
- Very good to meet you, Ken.
- Nice to meet you.
585
00:35:33,494 --> 00:35:36,580
- Paul Zeckhauser, American Tobacco Council.
[Coughing] - How are you, Paul?
586
00:35:36,622 --> 00:35:40,209
I hope you can all come to my reception.
You know Miss Loretta from my office.
587
00:35:40,251 --> 00:35:42,336
- Hi. Hello.
- Terry Corrigan.
588
00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:47,341
Soon as I saw how you got elected,
I knew you were a real comer.
589
00:35:47,425 --> 00:35:50,010
Hell, I bet Olaf Andersen
voted for you.
590
00:35:50,094 --> 00:35:51,971
I don't know.
Who's Olaf Andersen?
591
00:35:52,012 --> 00:35:54,849
Won't tell him you asked.
Fella on the left up there.
592
00:35:54,932 --> 00:35:56,767
Chairman, Gulf Coast Power.
593
00:35:56,809 --> 00:35:59,437
Constituent of yours,
client of mine.
594
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,605
Pays the rent,
know what I mean?
595
00:36:01,689 --> 00:36:04,775
Say, could I host a "welcome
to Washington" fund-raiser for you,
596
00:36:04,859 --> 00:36:06,902
down at my law firm
on K Street?
597
00:36:06,986 --> 00:36:10,614
- Absolutely.
- At $500 a head,
598
00:36:10,698 --> 00:36:14,160
you could pick up 20, 25 grand
to help you get started.
599
00:36:14,243 --> 00:36:16,245
[Nervous Laugh]
600
00:36:16,328 --> 00:36:18,414
And how much of that
are you gonna get?
601
00:36:18,497 --> 00:36:20,541
It doesn't come off the top.
602
00:36:20,624 --> 00:36:25,254
Down the road, I'll bill each of them
500 an hour whenever I take you to lunch.
603
00:36:28,174 --> 00:36:30,969
You know, Terry, you and I
are gonna be so close.
604
00:36:33,555 --> 00:36:36,391
I wanna welcome
the new members to Washington.
605
00:36:41,396 --> 00:36:44,149
We haven't had a freshman class
this big in a long time.
606
00:36:44,191 --> 00:36:46,651
[Laughing]
607
00:36:46,693 --> 00:36:50,614
Well, Congress needs your new blood, and
you in turn are gonna need new friends.
608
00:36:50,697 --> 00:36:55,160
That's why, tonight, we unite
the two great pillars of our system.
609
00:36:55,202 --> 00:36:57,287
Political and financial.
610
00:36:57,370 --> 00:37:00,832
Now, you know, Congress
has taken many hits of late.
611
00:37:00,916 --> 00:37:02,793
But, Congressmen,
look around you.
612
00:37:02,834 --> 00:37:07,798
The people you see here tonight
are the ones that have stood behind us.
613
00:37:07,881 --> 00:37:11,968
And they are the ones that will be
invaluable to you in your next campaign,
614
00:37:12,052 --> 00:37:14,971
which I might remind you
is less than two years away.
615
00:37:15,013 --> 00:37:19,851
Now this is our system of checks
and balances at its very finest.
616
00:37:19,935 --> 00:37:23,980
Dick Dodge, from your home state.
Gonna run for speaker.
617
00:37:24,022 --> 00:37:26,691
Raises more money
than any other member.
618
00:37:26,733 --> 00:37:29,194
But, of course,
he's on the right committee,
619
00:37:29,236 --> 00:37:32,322
- Which makes all the difference.
- Yeah, of course.
620
00:37:32,364 --> 00:37:35,158
But I'm not telling you anything
you don't already know.
621
00:37:35,242 --> 00:37:40,081
No, he's on the right committee, so
I guess that makes all the difference.
622
00:37:40,164 --> 00:37:45,044
Not just on the committee.
He's chairman of it.
623
00:37:45,128 --> 00:37:48,589
The big boys have to line up
to take numbers...
624
00:37:48,673 --> 00:37:50,675
to throw money his way.
625
00:37:50,758 --> 00:37:54,720
- Your friends can always call on you.
- No shit.
626
00:37:54,762 --> 00:37:56,889
[Woman]
Thank you very much.
627
00:37:56,973 --> 00:37:59,392
[Dodge]
Oh, uh, Mr. Johnson?
628
00:37:59,434 --> 00:38:01,477
You know, it's customary
for the new members...
629
00:38:01,561 --> 00:38:05,982
to pay a visit on us old fogies in the
leadership, especially from your home state.
630
00:38:06,065 --> 00:38:09,193
Well, I would have, but I
just got in town. I'm sorry, man.
631
00:38:09,235 --> 00:38:11,863
You know, you can make up for it
by having a nightcap with me.
632
00:38:11,904 --> 00:38:15,658
- Oh, absolutely.
- Can I have my car take you home?
633
00:38:20,705 --> 00:38:22,707
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Chairman,
634
00:38:22,790 --> 00:38:26,210
but you ain't about to start no homo
shit, are you? 'Cause I ain't with it.
635
00:38:26,252 --> 00:38:28,588
- Oh?
- Hey.
636
00:38:28,671 --> 00:38:33,092
No! But that's good thinking, Thomas.
I'm impressed by your instincts.
637
00:38:33,134 --> 00:38:35,428
I didn't wanna
have to whup your ass.
638
00:38:35,511 --> 00:38:37,680
- [Laughing]
- You know what I mean?
639
00:38:51,904 --> 00:38:55,866
Tell me, Mr. Johnson,
why'd you come to Washington?
640
00:38:57,618 --> 00:39:01,288
Well, of course, it's an opportunity
to do something for my country, and...
641
00:39:01,330 --> 00:39:03,707
Now let's just cut the bullshit.
642
00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:05,709
I saw how you got elected.
643
00:39:05,793 --> 00:39:08,754
Now flukes like you are either
nut cases or troublemakers.
644
00:39:08,796 --> 00:39:12,257
I just wanna know which one
I've got on my hands.
645
00:39:12,341 --> 00:39:14,259
Why did you run for Congress?
646
00:39:16,261 --> 00:39:18,764
- No bullshit?
- No bullshit.
647
00:39:18,806 --> 00:39:20,974
We got this whole
topsoil problem...
648
00:39:21,058 --> 00:39:24,144
and, uh, acid rain
is killing cattle.
649
00:39:24,228 --> 00:39:27,397
- [Pounding At Door]
- What? Yes? What? What?
650
00:39:27,481 --> 00:39:31,235
- What?
- [Thomas] Einhardt! Wake up!
651
00:39:31,318 --> 00:39:36,156
[Pounding Continues]
652
00:39:38,534 --> 00:39:41,328
What is the name of that committee
Dick Dodge is chairman of?
653
00:39:41,370 --> 00:39:43,789
- Congressman, this is a surprise.
- Come on, man, spit it out.
654
00:39:43,872 --> 00:39:46,500
- What's the name of the committee?
- Uh... Uh...
655
00:39:46,542 --> 00:39:48,627
Come on, come on, come on.
What is it?
656
00:39:48,710 --> 00:39:52,589
Uh... oh.
Power and Industry.
657
00:39:52,673 --> 00:39:54,591
- Is something wrong with the hotel?
- No.
658
00:39:54,675 --> 00:39:56,844
Tell me about this Power and Industry.
I heard it's really good.
659
00:39:56,885 --> 00:39:59,848
- This is a good thing, right?
- Yes, they call it "the honey pot."
660
00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:04,727
Each member is constantly being lobbied
by every cash-rich trade group in town.
661
00:40:04,811 --> 00:40:07,772
Oh, it's 2:40 a.m.
Did you realize that?
662
00:40:07,856 --> 00:40:10,567
Ah, man, forget that!
We're public servants.
663
00:40:10,650 --> 00:40:12,819
Time ain't supposed to mean
nothin' to us, right?
664
00:40:12,902 --> 00:40:16,531
- How do I get on this committee?
- Um, that would be seniority.
665
00:40:16,573 --> 00:40:19,659
Uh, after six terms in office,
666
00:40:19,743 --> 00:40:21,953
uh, say, 12 years of service,
667
00:40:22,036 --> 00:40:25,498
your name moves along the list
and before you know it,
668
00:40:25,582 --> 00:40:28,877
you're off the Fisheries committee
and on to Power and Industry.
669
00:40:28,918 --> 00:40:33,006
- Can this wait? I'm much more coherent
in the morning. - No, you're doin' fine.
670
00:40:33,047 --> 00:40:36,885
But I need to know how I can get
on this committee, like, immediately.
671
00:40:36,926 --> 00:40:39,971
Okay, okay.
All right, all right.
672
00:40:40,054 --> 00:40:42,015
Uh, immediately. Immediately.
673
00:40:42,098 --> 00:40:45,435
- Within, say, your next four years?
- No, no, no, no.
674
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:47,896
Immediately,
like in my first four days.
675
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:59,574
Now you're a smart guy.
That's why I hired you.
676
00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:02,702
You might be standin' here
in these fire engine boxer shorts,
677
00:41:02,744 --> 00:41:05,663
but I have faith in you.
I'm countin' on you.
678
00:41:05,747 --> 00:41:07,499
- Talk to me, Reinhardt.
- Yes, thank you.
679
00:41:07,582 --> 00:41:09,542
I don't think
it's possible, sir.
680
00:41:09,584 --> 00:41:12,630
It would be unprecedented
for a freshman congressman...
681
00:41:12,713 --> 00:41:14,715
to be put onto that committee.
682
00:41:14,757 --> 00:41:16,675
Unless...
683
00:41:16,759 --> 00:41:20,096
Well, only in the most remote,
684
00:41:20,179 --> 00:41:22,932
hypo...
hypothetical situation.
685
00:41:23,015 --> 00:41:25,351
Yes?
686
00:41:25,434 --> 00:41:27,478
- This is ridiculous, right?
- For instance?
687
00:41:27,561 --> 00:41:31,440
Well, if the, uh, President
of the United States...
688
00:41:31,482 --> 00:41:33,984
were to do you a personal favor.
689
00:41:34,026 --> 00:41:37,571
Or, uh, some enormously powerful
special interest group.
690
00:41:37,655 --> 00:41:39,907
Chairman Dodge, please.
691
00:41:39,990 --> 00:41:44,745
Will you tell him that it's Mr. Joshua
Benjamin from the NAACP on the line?
692
00:41:48,457 --> 00:41:51,043
No, ma'am, actually, you'll
be of a great deal of help.
693
00:41:51,127 --> 00:41:53,838
I have a few minor questions.
I would like to know...
694
00:41:53,921 --> 00:41:58,592
how many members of the chairman's
committee are African-Americans.
695
00:41:58,676 --> 00:42:03,431
None. Well, I'm sure you have
a Latino member on the committee.
696
00:42:03,514 --> 00:42:05,641
No Latinos either.
697
00:42:05,683 --> 00:42:10,646
Does the chairman have any Asians or
any Native Americans on the committee?
698
00:42:10,688 --> 00:42:13,149
No Asians and no natives.
699
00:42:13,190 --> 00:42:17,445
Does the chairman have any handicaps
or gays on the committee?
700
00:42:17,528 --> 00:42:21,241
No gays. Well, you've been
of a great deal of help.
701
00:42:21,324 --> 00:42:25,996
Just forget I even called.
Just tell him I said hi.
702
00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:30,083
Okay, um, Armando, Van Dyke,
you guys are up next.
703
00:42:30,167 --> 00:42:32,753
I'll go hit 'em with
the Urban League right away.
704
00:42:32,836 --> 00:42:38,008
Fine. And I'll be the conference of
Southern Baptist Bishops. [Chuckling]
705
00:42:38,091 --> 00:42:39,968
What do you want me to do?
706
00:42:42,846 --> 00:42:45,849
Oh, hi. We haven't met yet.
707
00:42:45,891 --> 00:42:48,477
I'm Loretta Hicks.
Congressman Johnson's office?
708
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,189
Oh, hi. I'm Kimberly Meadows.
I work for Chairman Dodge.
709
00:42:52,272 --> 00:42:55,734
Power and Industry.
How'd you get that job?
710
00:42:55,817 --> 00:42:57,944
I used to serve under
the other Congressman Johnson,
711
00:42:58,028 --> 00:43:01,198
so I had the right experience.
712
00:43:01,281 --> 00:43:04,826
Well, I hope you haven't
been bothered by the pickets.
713
00:43:04,910 --> 00:43:07,370
What pickets?
714
00:43:07,412 --> 00:43:10,457
Oh. Did, did I let
the cat out of the bag?
715
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:13,877
- Are we gonna be picketed?
- Look, you've got to promise...
716
00:43:13,919 --> 00:43:15,879
not to say where
you heard this from.
717
00:43:15,921 --> 00:43:18,256
- Not even my congressman knows.
- I promise.
718
00:43:18,340 --> 00:43:22,969
Okay. My boyfriend works
at the Rainbow Coalition,
719
00:43:23,053 --> 00:43:24,387
and he said...
720
00:43:24,471 --> 00:43:27,849
[Telephone Ringing]
721
00:43:27,933 --> 00:43:30,185
[Telephone Ringing]
722
00:43:30,227 --> 00:43:34,315
Congressman Johnson's office.
Chairman Dodge?
723
00:43:36,317 --> 00:43:39,237
Yes. Okay.
724
00:43:41,114 --> 00:43:43,241
That was Dodge.
He wants to see you pronto.
725
00:43:44,450 --> 00:43:46,536
So we still haven't
lost our touch.
726
00:43:49,205 --> 00:43:51,499
Asi.
727
00:43:51,582 --> 00:43:54,419
He should be back in a moment,
Congressman Johnson.
728
00:43:54,502 --> 00:43:56,421
[Thomas]
Oh! They're here now.
729
00:43:56,504 --> 00:43:58,464
- We haven't met. Eli Hawkins.
- How ya doin'?
730
00:43:58,506 --> 00:44:01,134
Brother Eli. Yeah. All right.
731
00:44:01,217 --> 00:44:04,971
- All right. Thomas Johnson.
- Yes, I know. The Florida upset.
732
00:44:05,054 --> 00:44:07,723
Now that you're here,
what are you gonna do with it?
733
00:44:07,807 --> 00:44:11,602
You gonna feather your own nest, or are
you gonna make something of your office?
734
00:44:11,644 --> 00:44:15,940
Hey, I'm gonna be as good a congressmen
as anybody else up here, all right?
735
00:44:15,982 --> 00:44:17,984
Exactly what does that mean?
736
00:44:21,696 --> 00:44:24,490
Well, uh, ever since
I got back from, from 'Nam...
737
00:44:24,574 --> 00:44:27,452
I personally wanna do something
about the rain forests.
738
00:44:27,493 --> 00:44:30,955
Well, do me a favor. Don't tell me.
I've just had my lunch.
739
00:44:31,038 --> 00:44:35,001
Eli, you're gonna have to excuse us. Thomas
and I are late for a meeting. Come on in.
740
00:44:35,084 --> 00:44:37,003
What's his problem?
741
00:44:41,132 --> 00:44:45,262
Uh, Mr. Chairman, I have been meaning
to ask your advice about something.
742
00:44:45,345 --> 00:44:48,182
I'm always available
to a young man from my state.
743
00:44:48,265 --> 00:44:50,476
Great. It's about
committee assignments.
744
00:44:50,559 --> 00:44:54,938
Now that's interesting. That's just
the thing I had in mind. Go ahead.
745
00:44:54,980 --> 00:44:57,733
For the last two days,
I have been getting approached...
746
00:44:57,816 --> 00:45:00,194
by a bunch of chairmen
from different committees.
747
00:45:00,277 --> 00:45:02,321
I've been approached by the people
from Foreign Affairs.
748
00:45:02,404 --> 00:45:05,699
I've been approached by the people
from Ways and Means and Armed Services.
749
00:45:05,783 --> 00:45:07,993
They all want me on their committees
and I don't know why.
750
00:45:08,035 --> 00:45:11,497
- I'll be damned!
- You can understand my dilemma, 'cause it's like,
751
00:45:11,538 --> 00:45:14,875
with Foreign Affairs, you get to
fly off to Paris whenever you want.
752
00:45:14,958 --> 00:45:17,878
With Armed Services,
they got bases all over the globe.
753
00:45:17,961 --> 00:45:21,048
Son, are you familiar with
my committee? Power and Industry?
754
00:45:21,131 --> 00:45:25,344
Oh, yeah. But, uh, it's not as well
known as these other committees.
755
00:45:25,385 --> 00:45:29,264
Well, maybe not, but you've
been very frank with me.
756
00:45:29,348 --> 00:45:32,226
I'm gonna be
extremely frank with you.
757
00:45:32,309 --> 00:45:35,646
These other committees,
they're nickel-and-dime stuff.
758
00:45:35,687 --> 00:45:38,315
Power and Industry,
think of what we cover.
759
00:45:38,398 --> 00:45:42,861
Energy, transportation,
insurance, the environment.
760
00:45:42,945 --> 00:45:45,697
Hell, son, there's no better
committee on the Hill.
761
00:45:45,739 --> 00:45:48,700
That is, if you're interested
in fund-raising.
762
00:45:48,742 --> 00:45:52,664
I am, very much. It's just that these
other chairmen made pretty strong cases.
763
00:45:52,747 --> 00:45:54,916
These other chairmen
aren't from your home state.
764
00:45:54,999 --> 00:45:56,835
Hmm.
765
00:45:56,918 --> 00:45:59,754
They're not offering
to take you under their wing.
766
00:45:59,838 --> 00:46:03,842
- Look out for your future.
- And you are?
767
00:46:03,925 --> 00:46:05,969
Hell yes, I am.
768
00:46:06,052 --> 00:46:08,513
Oh, well, I'm very flattered,
Mr. Chairman.
769
00:46:08,596 --> 00:46:10,056
Dick.
770
00:46:10,098 --> 00:46:13,393
- Well, I'm very flattered, Mr. Dick.
- No, no, no, no.
771
00:46:13,435 --> 00:46:16,229
- Oh, I'm sorry, Chairman Dick.
- No, Dick. Just Dick.
772
00:46:16,271 --> 00:46:18,231
- Oh, Dick. Just plain old Dick.
- Yeah.
773
00:46:18,273 --> 00:46:22,444
Fine. I know you don't get something for
nothing. What do you want from me, Dick?
774
00:46:22,527 --> 00:46:26,573
[Chuckles] Well, son,
I want an able lieutenant.
775
00:46:28,074 --> 00:46:31,202
And I want you to smile
for the cameras.
776
00:46:33,621 --> 00:46:36,833
Skeeter, you know Thomas Johnson,
the new member of the committee?
777
00:46:36,916 --> 00:46:39,043
Thomas, this is
Barclay Warburton.
778
00:46:39,127 --> 00:46:41,504
- How are you, Barclay?
- Skeeter, please.
779
00:46:41,588 --> 00:46:44,758
- Been called that since boarding school.
- Oh, sorry, man.
780
00:46:44,841 --> 00:46:47,761
- Cheers.
- Yeah, cheers. Skeeter.
781
00:46:47,844 --> 00:46:50,722
Thomas, please. Been called that
since reform school.
782
00:46:56,603 --> 00:47:01,149
This EPA oversight hearing of the committee
on Power and Industry will come to order.
783
00:47:01,232 --> 00:47:04,612
I would like to welcome
our first witness,
784
00:47:04,695 --> 00:47:08,282
the distinguished administrator
of the Environmental Protection Agency.
785
00:47:08,365 --> 00:47:12,745
But before I do, I would like to note
that we have a new member joining us today.
786
00:47:12,828 --> 00:47:14,747
The distinguished gentleman
from Florida.
787
00:47:17,666 --> 00:47:21,295
[Photographer] Congressman Johnson?
Sir, can we get a shot, please?
788
00:47:21,378 --> 00:47:23,964
- Thank you.
- How am I doing?
789
00:47:24,048 --> 00:47:25,925
Great. Great.
790
00:47:27,426 --> 00:47:29,762
Well, Mike, enjoy
those hors d'oeuvres.
791
00:47:29,804 --> 00:47:34,975
[Indistinct Chatter]
792
00:47:36,185 --> 00:47:38,979
Hi. My name is Miss Loretta,
and I'd like it...
793
00:47:39,021 --> 00:47:42,608
very much if you'd sign
one of these little name tags.
794
00:47:42,650 --> 00:47:44,652
That would be just nice.
795
00:47:44,693 --> 00:47:49,115
It's an informal breakfast. You give us
your point of view, we give you, uh,
796
00:47:49,198 --> 00:47:51,784
bacon and eggs
plus a $2,000 honorarium.
797
00:47:51,867 --> 00:47:54,286
For your favorite charity,
of course.
798
00:47:54,370 --> 00:47:57,998
The Thomas Jefferson Johnson
Foundation.
799
00:47:58,082 --> 00:48:00,793
Oh, okay. An honorarium.
800
00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:02,837
I like the way that sounds.
801
00:48:03,003 --> 00:48:04,713
[Man] Excuse me.
Nice to see you.
802
00:48:07,258 --> 00:48:10,136
[Thomas]
Excuse me a second.
803
00:48:10,219 --> 00:48:12,138
- Hi.
- Hello.
804
00:48:12,221 --> 00:48:15,684
- How are you? Very nice to meet you,
Miss Celia Kirby. - Good, thank you.
805
00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:19,187
It's a extremely beautiful name
for an extremely beautiful woman.
806
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,398
Well, my, that was very smooth.
807
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,817
You know, after about ten hours
straight on my feet,
808
00:48:23,900 --> 00:48:26,403
making small talk, breathing in
that cheap cigar smoke,
809
00:48:26,486 --> 00:48:29,156
that is exactly the kind of line
I'm ready to fall for.
810
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,534
- [Chuckling] Slow down, okay?
- Sure.
811
00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:35,746
Tell me, which one of these guys
is Congressman Johnson?
812
00:48:35,829 --> 00:48:37,789
- You're looking for the congressman?
- Yes.
813
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:41,042
How would you feel if I told you
I was the congressman? Aha!
814
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:44,671
- Oh, duh!
- I'm so sorry.
815
00:48:44,713 --> 00:48:47,424
Would you give me two seconds to take
my foot out of my mouth, please?
816
00:48:47,507 --> 00:48:51,094
Take all the time you need.
Can we start over again?
817
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:53,513
Yes, Celia Kirby,
Legislative Director of Pro Bono.
818
00:48:53,555 --> 00:48:56,183
Celia kirby from Pro Bono!
Very nice to meet you.
819
00:48:56,224 --> 00:48:57,601
- Yes.
- Would you tell me something?
820
00:48:57,684 --> 00:48:59,936
Are all the pro bonettes
as fine as you?
821
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:03,774
Pro Bono is a public interest
research and advocacy group.
822
00:49:03,857 --> 00:49:06,401
I'd be delighted to brief you
on our priorities this session.
823
00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:10,197
Do you think, perhaps, I could call
your A.A. and be put on your schedule?
824
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,199
- Call my A.A.?
- Yes.
825
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:15,494
No, you don't have to call my A.A.
Why don't we do this?
826
00:49:15,577 --> 00:49:18,914
Why don't we, say now, go out to
dinner? You can brief me at dinner.
827
00:49:18,997 --> 00:49:21,374
I'd like an appointment,
Congressman, not a date.
828
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,585
We could write it up
as an appointment,
829
00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:25,713
but we'll have, like,
flowers and dinner,
830
00:49:25,797 --> 00:49:28,091
a mandolin, and it'll be
a "floral" appointment.
831
00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:31,928
It was a pleasure to meet you, Congressman.
I will be in touch with your staff.
832
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,972
There's one other thing.
I'm particularly interested...
833
00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:39,435
in hearing your view on extending the
sexual harassment law to include congressmen.
834
00:49:39,519 --> 00:49:42,980
Oh. I get it.
835
00:49:43,064 --> 00:49:46,400
Can we turn the A.C. down, please?
836
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:55,034
Thank you.
837
00:49:55,118 --> 00:49:59,455
Uh, I have a confession to make.
I don't know very much about poultry.
838
00:49:59,497 --> 00:50:01,499
But I do know people,
839
00:50:01,541 --> 00:50:04,627
and I like you people.
I really do.
840
00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:09,549
And if you people come to me
and you say to me...
841
00:50:09,632 --> 00:50:14,512
that you have something to say
important about poultry,
842
00:50:16,973 --> 00:50:20,435
I'm gonna listen.
Thank you very much.
843
00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:41,081
Thank you for seeing us.
We won't take up much of your time.
844
00:50:41,165 --> 00:50:43,083
- This is Ira Schecter, our research director.
- Hi, Ira, how are you?
845
00:50:43,167 --> 00:50:45,169
This is Mr. Reinhardt.
You remember him?
846
00:50:45,252 --> 00:50:47,296
Come sit next to me
and have this chitchat.
847
00:50:47,379 --> 00:50:50,507
I've been dying to talk to you
about these issues.
848
00:50:50,591 --> 00:50:52,551
Sit, everybody, sit.
Come on.
849
00:50:52,593 --> 00:50:54,678
- All right.
- We can take as long as we want.
850
00:50:54,762 --> 00:50:56,722
Congressman, you do have
several people waiting.
851
00:50:56,764 --> 00:50:58,724
- No, no, they can wait.
- They can wait.
852
00:50:58,766 --> 00:51:01,894
What are you doing standing, Ira?
Sit down, Ira!
853
00:51:01,977 --> 00:51:03,896
Uh, sure.
854
00:51:03,979 --> 00:51:06,190
Well... [Clears Throat]
These are issue papers.
855
00:51:06,273 --> 00:51:08,400
- Ah.
- This session we're targeting child safety,
856
00:51:08,484 --> 00:51:11,195
auto insurance premiums
and food additives.
857
00:51:11,278 --> 00:51:14,531
Certainly, as the votes come up, you'll
be hearing plenty from the other side.
858
00:51:14,573 --> 00:51:17,326
We simply would like a fair shot
at making our case too.
859
00:51:17,409 --> 00:51:19,703
- Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
860
00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:22,581
Okay, now, let's talk about car
insurance. What are you paying, Ira?
861
00:51:22,664 --> 00:51:24,833
- Me? Oh.
- [Thomas] Yes.
862
00:51:24,917 --> 00:51:29,046
Uh, well, I have an '82
Dodge Dart and, uh,
863
00:51:29,129 --> 00:51:33,675
I pay about $650 a year,
or so.
864
00:51:33,759 --> 00:51:36,136
Six hundred fifty dollars?
Man, that's highway robbery.
865
00:51:36,220 --> 00:51:40,390
A chop shop wouldn't give you more
than 230 on a junker like that.
866
00:51:40,432 --> 00:51:42,392
Or so I've heard.
867
00:51:43,644 --> 00:51:45,814
Hey, look,
I'm flying blind here.
868
00:51:45,897 --> 00:51:49,275
What we need to do is for you
to put together a little package.
869
00:51:49,359 --> 00:51:51,653
Put a package together
for me and we'll sit down.
870
00:51:51,736 --> 00:51:55,240
We'll block aside two Saturday evenings
and we can discuss it then.
871
00:51:55,323 --> 00:51:58,409
Well, I don't see any problem
with arranging that.
872
00:51:58,493 --> 00:52:01,621
Once again, you've been more than
generous with your time, Congressman.
873
00:52:01,704 --> 00:52:05,125
What are you doin'? I clear my whole calendar
and you're in and outta here in five minutes?
874
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:07,210
Look, sit down.
We haven't discussed child safety yet.
875
00:52:07,293 --> 00:52:10,922
Ira, sit. I'm gonna slap you.
Sit. Come on, down. Sit down!
876
00:52:10,964 --> 00:52:13,883
Let's finish talking.
Let's talk about child safety now.
877
00:52:13,925 --> 00:52:17,429
This is an important issue.
Child safety.
878
00:52:17,512 --> 00:52:21,558
Well, we are sponsoring a bill imposing
safety standards on imported toys.
879
00:52:21,641 --> 00:52:23,977
Great. I hate imported toys.
Hate 'em.
880
00:52:24,060 --> 00:52:27,772
I wish they didn't exist.
Especially those little baseball men...
881
00:52:27,856 --> 00:52:30,817
with the springs in their neck that do
this. What is that? Fuck that, right?
882
00:52:30,900 --> 00:52:32,610
- Fuck that.
- [Thomas] Yeah, I hate that.
883
00:52:32,652 --> 00:52:35,071
Why don't we do this? Like I said,
put the package together.
884
00:52:35,155 --> 00:52:38,491
We'll block aside a couple of Saturday
evenings and we can discuss it...
885
00:52:38,575 --> 00:52:42,078
- And you can take me through
all the ins and outs. - "Ins and outs"?
886
00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:47,500
I'd like to do
more money for you,
887
00:52:47,584 --> 00:52:49,919
but first I've got to get
your positions on a few issues.
888
00:52:50,003 --> 00:52:53,047
Now where are you
on sugar price supports?
889
00:52:54,299 --> 00:52:58,137
- Sugar price supports.
- Hmm?
890
00:52:58,179 --> 00:53:01,348
- Where should I be, Terry?
- Shit, it makes no difference to me.
891
00:53:01,432 --> 00:53:06,437
If you're for 'em, I got money for you from
my sugar producers in Louisiana and Hawaii.
892
00:53:06,479 --> 00:53:09,815
If you're against 'em, I got money
for you from the candy manufacturers.
893
00:53:12,401 --> 00:53:15,112
- You pick.
- Let's say... for.
894
00:53:15,196 --> 00:53:16,655
Yeah, for. For.
895
00:53:16,739 --> 00:53:20,826
How about putting limits
on malpractice awards?
896
00:53:24,079 --> 00:53:25,873
Oh, you tell me.
897
00:53:25,956 --> 00:53:29,210
If you're for 'em, I got money from
the doctors and insurance companies.
898
00:53:29,293 --> 00:53:32,880
If you're against 'em,
I got money from the trial lawyers.
899
00:53:34,632 --> 00:53:38,844
- Let's put you down as against.
- Yeah, you know what? Put me down for against.
900
00:53:39,970 --> 00:53:42,014
How about pizza?
901
00:53:42,056 --> 00:53:44,350
Oh, no, this salad
is gonna be enough for me.
902
00:53:44,391 --> 00:53:48,020
Not for lunch, old buddy.
For PAC money.
903
00:53:48,104 --> 00:53:51,315
You thought I was serious?
I was fuckin' with you.
904
00:53:51,357 --> 00:53:54,985
- Well, you are. You are!
- Fuckin' with you. Uh, duh!
905
00:53:55,027 --> 00:53:57,404
Terry, tell me something.
906
00:53:57,488 --> 00:54:00,699
With all this money
comin' in from both sides,
907
00:54:00,783 --> 00:54:02,993
how could anything
possibly ever get done?
908
00:54:03,035 --> 00:54:06,331
It doesn't.
That's the genius of the system.
909
00:54:06,414 --> 00:54:08,625
[Thomas, Terry Laugh]
910
00:54:08,708 --> 00:54:12,879
Hey, baby, put down nuclear
power for ten G's.
911
00:54:12,963 --> 00:54:14,881
Mambo!
912
00:54:14,965 --> 00:54:19,636
[Loretta] Cool! Yeah, the congressman's
gonna be out your way next week.
913
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:23,932
Mr. Willie? Congressman Johnson
calling. Can you take his call?
914
00:54:24,015 --> 00:54:27,018
Thank you. Please hold.
915
00:54:27,060 --> 00:54:29,104
A-one, a-two...
916
00:54:29,187 --> 00:54:32,232
Yes, Mr. Brown.
Uh-huh, on the 30th.
917
00:54:32,315 --> 00:54:34,317
We were wondering whether
you aerospace people...
918
00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:36,778
might want to lay on a luncheon
so that you can hear his views.
919
00:54:36,862 --> 00:54:40,907
I'm sorry, Mr. Willie.
He just picked up another call.
920
00:54:40,991 --> 00:54:45,203
I know why he was calling you. He hasn't
heard from you about his fund-raiser.
921
00:54:45,287 --> 00:54:49,207
A thousand dollars a head?
A whole table!
922
00:54:49,249 --> 00:54:52,461
Lovely. Yeah.
923
00:54:52,544 --> 00:54:56,006
Well, now, what kind of a contribution to
his foundation were you folks thinking about?
924
00:55:02,012 --> 00:55:04,556
Now, we'll have a little
huntin' in the morning,
925
00:55:04,598 --> 00:55:06,683
little fishin' in the afternoon,
926
00:55:06,767 --> 00:55:09,352
clean air, beautiful scenery.
927
00:55:09,436 --> 00:55:12,481
All to work up a good appetite,
'cause we got a fine French chef...
928
00:55:12,564 --> 00:55:14,524
back at the lodge
flown in special.
929
00:55:14,608 --> 00:55:18,863
Oh! That's very, very nice.
930
00:55:18,946 --> 00:55:22,074
- You don't want anything from us?
- We would enjoy the opportunity...
931
00:55:22,158 --> 00:55:24,118
to share our views.
932
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:27,914
You see, we feel that the semiautomatic
weapon's gotten a bad rap.
933
00:55:27,997 --> 00:55:31,709
Now, the gun control nuts try to make
out that they're for drug dealers only.
934
00:55:31,793 --> 00:55:36,130
But, uh, really, they're just guns
for the ordinary sportsman.
935
00:55:36,172 --> 00:55:40,134
[Chuckling]
Nothin' like a nice, warm Uzi.
936
00:55:40,176 --> 00:55:44,889
[Duck Call Quacking]
937
00:55:44,972 --> 00:55:47,725
[Duck Call Continues]
938
00:55:53,231 --> 00:55:56,359
[Quacking]
939
00:56:11,666 --> 00:56:13,584
Yee-hee!
940
00:56:15,586 --> 00:56:18,589
Must have had a heart attack.
941
00:56:30,477 --> 00:56:32,229
Aaah!
942
00:56:34,648 --> 00:56:39,611
And according to the 1988 study,
it showed eight per 100,000.
943
00:56:42,072 --> 00:56:45,868
- Am I losing you on these mortality rates,
Congressman? - No, not at all.
944
00:56:45,951 --> 00:56:50,789
I was, uh, I was just wondering
how much of this is a statutory problem,
945
00:56:50,873 --> 00:56:53,917
- And how much of it is a regulatory one.
- Mmm, mm-hmm.
946
00:56:54,001 --> 00:56:58,589
- Didn't the Merton Act cover most of this?
- Excellent point.
947
00:56:58,672 --> 00:57:03,051
Excellent point.
Let me check something out.
948
00:57:03,093 --> 00:57:05,304
Excuse me.
949
00:57:09,892 --> 00:57:13,187
You're absolutely right.
950
00:57:13,228 --> 00:57:15,564
Maybe we could get them
to amend Merton.
951
00:57:15,647 --> 00:57:18,358
Oh, get 'em to amend it.
952
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,402
Yes!
953
00:57:20,486 --> 00:57:24,573
Get 'em to amend it, huh?
Well, "For Merton to apply,
954
00:57:24,656 --> 00:57:28,327
you have to show high contagion.
955
00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:33,207
It sounds to me like
your contagion... rates...
956
00:57:33,248 --> 00:57:35,793
are no higher
than the common clod."
957
00:57:40,924 --> 00:57:43,802
"Cold." "Common cold."
958
00:57:43,885 --> 00:57:47,055
Excuse me a second. Arthur!
959
00:57:47,138 --> 00:57:50,725
- Ow!
- What were we talking about?
960
00:57:56,189 --> 00:58:00,151
How'd you wind up hustling for pro bono
instead of pesticides anyway?
961
00:58:00,235 --> 00:58:03,238
- 'Cause you could have
been a big-time lawyer.
- I was for a while.
962
00:58:03,279 --> 00:58:07,742
- But it depressed me. - What could be depressing
about makin' $100,000 a year?
963
00:58:07,826 --> 00:58:11,287
- I know you gotta get sick of losin' all the time.
- Of course I do.
964
00:58:11,371 --> 00:58:14,499
Mainly it makes me angry,
and the anger keeps me going.
965
00:58:14,582 --> 00:58:18,294
Of course I'd like to win a few
and I'm not allergic to money either.
966
00:58:18,378 --> 00:58:21,423
- So why are you doin' it?
- Hey.
967
00:58:21,506 --> 00:58:25,927
It's so embarrassing to come
right out and say why I do it.
968
00:58:25,969 --> 00:58:28,930
- Why?
- It's embarrassing for me to say.
969
00:58:28,972 --> 00:58:31,057
- I just feel...
- Stop! What?
970
00:58:31,141 --> 00:58:34,227
Meaning!
971
00:58:34,310 --> 00:58:38,940
My life has to mean something.
972
00:58:38,982 --> 00:58:41,609
So now I have a question for you.
973
00:58:41,651 --> 00:58:45,572
I'd like to know how you
got named after a memorial.
974
00:58:45,655 --> 00:58:48,200
Oh.
[Chuckling]
975
00:58:48,284 --> 00:58:52,455
My grandmother liked Jefferson. You know,
"life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
976
00:58:52,538 --> 00:58:54,790
You know,
old black folks' thing.
977
00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:59,753
There's a lot to live up to, so I
kinda specialize in one portion of that.
978
00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:02,506
That's the pursuit
of happiness.
979
00:59:02,548 --> 00:59:05,259
- And how's it going?
- Um.
980
00:59:05,342 --> 00:59:07,386
- Honestly?
- Mm-hmm.
981
00:59:07,470 --> 00:59:12,600
I was goin' real good
'til I met you.
982
00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:16,145
Now, the better I do,
the worse I feel.
983
00:59:16,228 --> 00:59:19,899
Isn't that strange?
984
00:59:28,574 --> 00:59:31,619
Mmm, when can I see you again?
Let's go to dinner Saturday night.
985
00:59:31,702 --> 00:59:36,540
- How about Sunday morning?
- Oh, oh, brunch?
986
00:59:36,624 --> 00:59:39,960
The wages of sin is death!
987
00:59:40,044 --> 00:59:45,508
And to the man who values
gold over goodness,
988
00:59:45,549 --> 00:59:48,636
the Lord allows no exemptions.
989
00:59:48,719 --> 00:59:52,723
- [Congregation] Amen.
- Amen.
990
00:59:52,807 --> 00:59:56,227
And to the man
who shows no respect...
991
00:59:56,268 --> 00:59:59,481
for the privilege
of walking this Earth,
992
00:59:59,564 --> 01:00:02,567
the Lord allows no deductions.
993
01:00:02,651 --> 01:00:07,447
- Amen.
- And to the man whose pockets are bulging...
994
01:00:07,531 --> 01:00:10,117
and whose soul is empty,
995
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:14,079
the Lord grants
no 90-day extension.
996
01:00:15,789 --> 01:00:20,502
And when the last trump sounds,
997
01:00:20,585 --> 01:00:23,839
believe me,
you will be audited.
998
01:00:26,925 --> 01:00:31,721
This is a wonderful date.
999
01:00:32,848 --> 01:00:35,350
Oh, darling,
I'm glad you could make it!
1000
01:00:35,434 --> 01:00:37,978
Oh, I love that sermon,
Uncle Eli.
1001
01:00:38,061 --> 01:00:40,063
This is your uncle?
1002
01:00:40,105 --> 01:00:44,109
Yes, my niece tells me you're
not half as slimy as I thought.
1003
01:00:44,192 --> 01:00:48,363
That puts you somewhere between a lizard
and a toad. Quite a step up, huh?
1004
01:00:48,447 --> 01:00:50,365
Thank you very much.
1005
01:00:50,449 --> 01:00:52,701
Forgive me for staring. I don't know
how I missed the family resemblance.
1006
01:00:54,286 --> 01:00:58,206
She's you in a skirt.
1007
01:00:58,290 --> 01:01:00,584
[TV Announcer]... trailing by 13
as we begin the second half.
1008
01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:02,878
[Man] Yeah, I guess we're
all bringin' our wives.
1009
01:01:02,961 --> 01:01:05,547
Al, you gonna bring your wife,
ain't ya?
1010
01:01:05,630 --> 01:01:07,758
[Al Chuckling]
You bet.
1011
01:01:07,841 --> 01:01:10,511
[TV Continues Indistinct]
1012
01:01:10,595 --> 01:01:13,055
Uh-huh. Uh.
1013
01:01:13,139 --> 01:01:17,477
[TV Continues Indistinct]
1014
01:01:17,518 --> 01:01:19,520
Oh, I slipped.
1015
01:01:24,275 --> 01:01:26,819
- Ellie.
- How ya doin', Thomas?
1016
01:01:26,903 --> 01:01:29,155
I need your help
on the ethics bill, Leon.
1017
01:01:29,238 --> 01:01:33,159
- I want you to cosponsor my amendments.
- You make a persuasive case, Eli.
1018
01:01:33,201 --> 01:01:36,454
But that wasn't a yes.
1019
01:01:36,496 --> 01:01:40,082
I promise to give it
the attention it deserves.
1020
01:01:40,166 --> 01:01:43,795
- Better luck next time, son.
- Yeah, man, you're so good. He's so good.
1021
01:01:43,878 --> 01:01:47,006
He took $600 off you
that last hand, didn't he?
1022
01:01:47,089 --> 01:01:49,217
- He took a real shinin' to me.
- If I didn't know any better,
1023
01:01:49,300 --> 01:01:51,552
I'd say you lost to him
on purpose.
1024
01:01:51,636 --> 01:01:53,805
There's nothin' wrong with lettin'
the head of the ethics committee...
1025
01:01:53,846 --> 01:01:55,807
roll ya every now and then.
1026
01:01:55,890 --> 01:01:59,519
You know, you're gonna fit in
real good around here. Too good.
1027
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:02,188
How come you never ask me
to help you out with your amendments?
1028
01:02:02,271 --> 01:02:04,690
Oh, come on, Thomas.
Give it a rest.
1029
01:02:04,732 --> 01:02:07,276
Everybody knows
you're Dick Dodge's boy.
1030
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,821
Hey, man, I ain't
nobody's boy, all right?
1031
01:02:09,862 --> 01:02:13,074
Don't waste your outrage on me.
I know what ya are.
1032
01:02:13,157 --> 01:02:18,371
- I am no different than anybody else up here,
okay? - That's not true.
1033
01:02:18,412 --> 01:02:23,210
You see, some people here actually do
something besides saving their own ass.
1034
01:02:30,759 --> 01:02:34,930
You know, just then you
reminded me of my father.
1035
01:02:35,013 --> 01:02:39,560
Did I really? How so?
1036
01:02:39,643 --> 01:02:42,271
He used to say I was a scumbag too.
1037
01:02:42,354 --> 01:02:46,608
[Bell Ringing]
1038
01:02:46,692 --> 01:02:48,610
Aren't you going to vote?
1039
01:02:48,694 --> 01:02:52,364
Is that what that means? You know, all
this time I've been listenin' to that shit,
1040
01:02:52,448 --> 01:02:55,409
thinkin' it was time for
Final Jeopardy or somethin'.
1041
01:03:10,591 --> 01:03:12,634
[Chuckling]
1042
01:03:12,801 --> 01:03:14,720
[Indistinct Chatter]
1043
01:03:14,803 --> 01:03:16,930
- [Thomas] Excuse me.
- Excuse me, Congressman.
1044
01:03:17,014 --> 01:03:19,683
- I'm Mrs. Koslowski.
- Hi, I'm leaving.
1045
01:03:19,767 --> 01:03:24,396
We were just learning how a bill
becomes a law. Was that a vote?
1046
01:03:24,438 --> 01:03:26,648
Yes, that was a vote in there.
Oh! Oh!
1047
01:03:26,732 --> 01:03:29,318
Yes, that was a vote.
A vote was made. Bye-bye.
1048
01:03:29,401 --> 01:03:33,823
- And what did you vote?
- Ah, I voted nay.
1049
01:03:33,865 --> 01:03:38,286
It was a terrible bill and it would have
destroyed the fabric of American life.
1050
01:03:38,328 --> 01:03:41,372
What was the vote on?
1051
01:03:41,456 --> 01:03:43,792
[Chuckling]
Rafe!
1052
01:03:43,875 --> 01:03:47,295
Rafe, will you talk to these nice
people. Explain to them about the vote.
1053
01:03:47,378 --> 01:03:50,507
Well, it was a motion on the
previous question on the rule.
1054
01:03:50,590 --> 01:03:53,927
No, it was a motion
on the recommitment...
1055
01:03:53,968 --> 01:03:57,764
of the rule of the motion
of the previous question.
1056
01:04:00,850 --> 01:04:03,061
- Which means?
- Clean air.
1057
01:04:03,144 --> 01:04:06,564
School lunches.
1058
01:04:09,484 --> 01:04:14,572
Ah, you see the difficult choices
we have to make here, kids,
1059
01:04:14,656 --> 01:04:18,993
between clean air
and school lunches, okay?
1060
01:04:19,035 --> 01:04:21,663
That's why I want to be the education
congressman. See, 'cause I feel...
1061
01:04:21,746 --> 01:04:25,333
that American students should be able to
eat lunch and breathe at the same time.
1062
01:04:25,416 --> 01:04:28,294
And I see an America where
there's no such thing...
1063
01:04:28,336 --> 01:04:30,964
as a student
who is below average.
1064
01:04:31,047 --> 01:04:35,635
And I think it is wrong when students
have to stay up late at night...
1065
01:04:35,677 --> 01:04:37,887
and miss all the good shows
doing homework.
1066
01:04:37,971 --> 01:04:40,766
Then get up early in the mornin'
and go to school.
1067
01:04:40,850 --> 01:04:44,603
This sort of thing just is not fair.
1068
01:04:44,687 --> 01:04:49,442
[Cheering]
1069
01:04:52,027 --> 01:04:55,072
- Uh, good morning. May I help you?
- Yes, I'm Ellen Juba.
1070
01:04:55,156 --> 01:04:57,116
- This is my daughter, Mickey.
- Hi.
1071
01:04:57,199 --> 01:04:59,660
We'd like to see our congressman.
We live in the district.
1072
01:04:59,743 --> 01:05:02,413
Just a moment, please.
1073
01:05:02,496 --> 01:05:06,041
Ah, could you come out?
Thank you.
1074
01:05:06,125 --> 01:05:10,796
Be right with you.
I like your hat.
1075
01:05:14,675 --> 01:05:18,262
How do you do? I'm Miss Loretta,
public liaison for the congressman.
1076
01:05:18,345 --> 01:05:23,642
Ellen Juba, my daughter, Mickey.
We'd like to see him.
1077
01:05:23,726 --> 01:05:26,353
Y'all from the district?
Up here seeing the sights?
1078
01:05:26,395 --> 01:05:30,733
How'd you folks like some gallery passes?
Go listen to the great debates of our day.
1079
01:05:30,775 --> 01:05:34,570
We don't wanna go to the gallery.
We wanna see Congressman Johnson.
1080
01:05:34,612 --> 01:05:38,282
Well, how about a house key ring?
For each of you?
1081
01:05:38,365 --> 01:05:43,037
Here, see that? Isn't that
something? Turns into a pen.
1082
01:05:43,078 --> 01:05:47,124
I don't think you understand.
We're not tourists. We're constituents.
1083
01:05:47,208 --> 01:05:51,129
You're not with some organization,
are you, honey?
1084
01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:53,590
I'm a goddamn citizen.
Isn't that enough?
1085
01:05:53,673 --> 01:05:56,218
Do you have an appointment?
1086
01:05:56,259 --> 01:06:00,514
No, I do not have an appointment, because
y'all keep givin' me the runaround.
1087
01:06:00,597 --> 01:06:03,558
Well, I'm sorry, but the congressman
is a very busy man.
1088
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,728
Now, if you'd like to discuss it
with me, I will personally...
1089
01:06:06,812 --> 01:06:09,815
go over the issue with him
and get a letter out to you.
1090
01:06:09,898 --> 01:06:13,276
We're not leaving here
until we see him.
1091
01:06:18,198 --> 01:06:21,535
Armando, would you come out front?
We have a situation.
1092
01:06:21,618 --> 01:06:25,038
You stop palming me off
on your flunkies.
1093
01:06:25,122 --> 01:06:27,415
Are you gonna go in there
and tell him we're out here...
1094
01:06:27,457 --> 01:06:29,459
or am I gonna go in there
and tell him myself?
1095
01:06:29,501 --> 01:06:31,461
- Excuse me, may I help you, please?
- Yes, you can.
1096
01:06:31,545 --> 01:06:34,422
- I would like to see my congressman, please.
- He's not here today.
1097
01:06:34,506 --> 01:06:37,092
- I bet he is here. Excuse me.
- No, no, please, lady.
1098
01:06:37,175 --> 01:06:39,136
- No, you just let me by!
- No, don't push. Okay. Ya! Ya!
1099
01:06:39,177 --> 01:06:41,680
- [Indistinct Shouting]
- I am sick of this! I am fed up!
1100
01:06:41,763 --> 01:06:46,143
- I have every right! Let go of her!
- Hey!
1101
01:06:55,819 --> 01:06:58,405
Oh, baby.
1102
01:07:03,744 --> 01:07:06,372
Come on, Mama. Let's go.
1103
01:07:09,876 --> 01:07:11,878
Hey.
1104
01:07:15,131 --> 01:07:18,718
What happened to you?
1105
01:07:18,801 --> 01:07:21,846
The doctor says they got it all.
I'm gonna be okay.
1106
01:07:21,888 --> 01:07:24,640
I was lucky, but,
but there are others.
1107
01:07:24,682 --> 01:07:29,687
- What others?
- Other kids. They call it a cancer cluster.
1108
01:07:29,771 --> 01:07:33,524
At first, none of us in the neighborhood
wanted to believe it.
1109
01:07:33,566 --> 01:07:35,526
But then we all saw it.
1110
01:07:35,568 --> 01:07:38,362
For me, it was when the two-year-old
across the street...
1111
01:07:38,446 --> 01:07:40,573
developed a brain tumor
same as Mickey's.
1112
01:07:40,656 --> 01:07:45,828
We looked at everything:
the water, the air, dump sites.
1113
01:07:45,912 --> 01:07:48,915
Insects, you name it.
1114
01:07:48,998 --> 01:07:52,627
And then we realized it was
starin' us right in the face.
1115
01:07:52,710 --> 01:07:56,214
- What?
- Power lines.
1116
01:07:56,297 --> 01:07:58,299
High-voltage power lines.
1117
01:07:58,382 --> 01:08:03,304
The wires cause magnetic fields
and the magnetic fields cause cancer,
1118
01:08:03,387 --> 01:08:05,348
especially in children.
1119
01:08:05,389 --> 01:08:08,017
I've never heard anything
like that in my life.
1120
01:08:08,101 --> 01:08:11,229
Why don't you just
come see for yourself?
1121
01:08:11,312 --> 01:08:13,607
[Children Laughing]
1122
01:08:23,951 --> 01:08:28,580
- This is Mickey's school?
- Uh-huh.
1123
01:08:28,664 --> 01:08:32,084
It turns out a lot of schools
are near power lines.
1124
01:08:32,167 --> 01:08:36,213
Land's cheap, so schools tend
to buy it from the power companies.
1125
01:08:36,296 --> 01:08:40,759
We're nobody, Congressman.
You're somebody.
1126
01:08:40,843 --> 01:08:45,764
- We need your help.
- [Sighing]
1127
01:08:45,806 --> 01:08:49,101
Will you excuse me
for a second? Come here.
1128
01:08:53,439 --> 01:08:56,692
- Is this real?
- That depends on who you ask.
1129
01:08:56,775 --> 01:09:00,195
Some people say it's worse
than asbestos or breast implants.
1130
01:09:00,279 --> 01:09:02,197
Others say it's coincidental.
1131
01:09:02,281 --> 01:09:04,241
Well, you. What do you say?
1132
01:09:04,283 --> 01:09:07,619
I think it's very suspicious that the
White House would kill an EPA report...
1133
01:09:07,703 --> 01:09:10,456
saying that power lines
probably cause cancer.
1134
01:09:10,497 --> 01:09:13,584
- They did that?
- Yes.
1135
01:09:16,003 --> 01:09:18,797
[Sighing]
1136
01:09:18,839 --> 01:09:21,258
Well, I gotta do somethin'
to help these people.
1137
01:09:21,300 --> 01:09:23,845
Don't tell me you're actually
developing a conscience.
1138
01:09:23,928 --> 01:09:27,182
Oh, God, I hope not. It'd be
a fuckin' nuisance in Congress.
1139
01:09:27,265 --> 01:09:29,309
But if I were,
what could I do to help them?
1140
01:09:29,392 --> 01:09:31,436
This goes beyond personal tragedy.
1141
01:09:31,519 --> 01:09:36,065
It goes to a public health hazard
of unknown proportions.
1142
01:09:36,149 --> 01:09:39,569
It goes to the right of the ordinary
people to know all the facts!
1143
01:09:39,652 --> 01:09:42,197
Yeah, people ought to know if
the neighborhoods are killing them.
1144
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,783
Amen, gentlemen.
1145
01:09:44,824 --> 01:09:48,620
Amen! And what a fine effort it is.
I'm totally sympathetic.
1146
01:09:48,661 --> 01:09:51,748
Congressional hearings should
be scheduled just as soon as possible.
1147
01:09:51,831 --> 01:09:54,834
The American people
deserve no less.
1148
01:09:54,918 --> 01:09:58,838
Message: we care.
1149
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:00,757
Turn this way, please.
1150
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:03,176
- Right here, sir. Great!
- Over here.
1151
01:10:03,259 --> 01:10:06,387
[Thundering]
1152
01:10:06,471 --> 01:10:10,642
Cheers.
1153
01:10:10,725 --> 01:10:13,061
You know, son,
you're a real comer.
1154
01:10:13,144 --> 01:10:16,856
I wouldn't be a bit surprised
if you ended up in the leadership.
1155
01:10:16,898 --> 01:10:19,317
I'll say this,
if I were speaker,
1156
01:10:19,359 --> 01:10:21,486
I'd sleep better with you
as a lieutenant.
1157
01:10:21,569 --> 01:10:24,948
Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman.
I'm surprised to hear you say that.
1158
01:10:25,031 --> 01:10:27,992
'Cause I really honestly didn't think you was
gonna go with me on this power lines thing.
1159
01:10:28,076 --> 01:10:32,080
- But I'm not.
- But you said you're sympathetic.
1160
01:10:32,163 --> 01:10:36,335
Well, of course I did. We're all
sympathetic to little girls with cancer.
1161
01:10:36,418 --> 01:10:39,839
But I'm not sympathetic
to holding a public inquiry.
1162
01:10:39,880 --> 01:10:43,217
- You just said...
- I know what I said.
1163
01:10:43,259 --> 01:10:45,678
But sound bites
aren't sworn testimony.
1164
01:10:45,719 --> 01:10:50,683
Now look, son, it's great to get
your name in the newspaper.
1165
01:10:50,766 --> 01:10:53,978
Let 'em know you care.
Very smart move, Thomas.
1166
01:10:54,061 --> 01:10:57,481
But that's as far as I
would go with this if I were you.
1167
01:10:57,565 --> 01:11:00,609
[Intercom Buzzing]
1168
01:11:02,486 --> 01:11:05,239
Yeah? Oh, fine, fine.
1169
01:11:05,322 --> 01:11:07,950
No, no, no, send 'em in.
1170
01:11:08,033 --> 01:11:10,202
We've got some unexpected visitors.
1171
01:11:10,244 --> 01:11:12,746
- Hope you don't mind.
- Oh, hell, no.
1172
01:11:12,788 --> 01:11:15,082
Sure, great.
1173
01:11:15,166 --> 01:11:18,210
[Laughing]
Mr. Chairman!
1174
01:11:18,252 --> 01:11:20,254
Olaf!
1175
01:11:20,296 --> 01:11:24,049
- Hello, Terry.
- Evenin', Mr. Chairman.
1176
01:11:24,133 --> 01:11:27,303
Thanks for tak...
Thomas!
1177
01:11:27,386 --> 01:11:30,598
They let you in here,
you S.O.B.?
1178
01:11:30,681 --> 01:11:33,726
You folks finally gonna
get to press flesh. Olaf!
1179
01:11:33,809 --> 01:11:37,897
Come and meet Thomas Johnson.
Thomas, Olaf Andersen.
1180
01:11:37,980 --> 01:11:40,357
- Chairman, Gulf Coast Power.
- Glad to meet ya, son.
1181
01:11:40,441 --> 01:11:42,818
They tell me you got
a real talent for the game.
1182
01:11:42,902 --> 01:11:47,783
This is Zeke Bridges, CEO,
Superior Mutual Insurance.
1183
01:11:50,827 --> 01:11:54,247
Som-bitch.
1184
01:11:54,331 --> 01:11:58,126
- Oh, you two know each other?
- Ah, no, we haven't met.
1185
01:11:58,168 --> 01:12:00,253
But I know a great deal
about the man.
1186
01:12:00,337 --> 01:12:02,631
We share a common interest
in international affairs.
1187
01:12:02,672 --> 01:12:05,133
Swedish in particular.
1188
01:12:07,052 --> 01:12:11,640
Oh, another Rolex. I collect these.
Mine's a slightly older model.
1189
01:12:11,681 --> 01:12:13,767
Can I have a double bourbon,
please?
1190
01:12:13,850 --> 01:12:16,478
It is very nice finally
meeting you, Mr. Bridges.
1191
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,689
Yes, it's nice to meet you,
Congressman.
1192
01:12:19,773 --> 01:12:24,986
Thomas and I were just talkin'
about, uh, power lines.
1193
01:12:25,070 --> 01:12:27,948
Man, I think we oughta
have those hearings.
1194
01:12:28,031 --> 01:12:32,327
Well, now look, Thomas, why don't
we get, uh, Olaf's take on this?
1195
01:12:32,369 --> 01:12:35,288
Well, it's tragic.
Cancer's a terrible thing.
1196
01:12:35,372 --> 01:12:37,374
But there's no way you
can link it to power lines.
1197
01:12:37,457 --> 01:12:40,460
- The truth is...
- Wait a minute, there have been studies...
1198
01:12:40,502 --> 01:12:44,756
Every study that says one thing,
I'll show you a study saying another.
1199
01:12:44,840 --> 01:12:47,676
We've studied this ourselves.
Nada.
1200
01:12:47,759 --> 01:12:49,845
What if all you guys
are wrong?
1201
01:12:49,928 --> 01:12:52,722
Thomas, do you want us
to move the power lines?
1202
01:12:52,806 --> 01:12:55,726
You know how much it would cost to bury
those things in Florida alone?
1203
01:12:55,810 --> 01:13:00,314
- We're talkin' $5 billion.
- Not counting the liability claims.
1204
01:13:00,398 --> 01:13:04,026
How would you like
the people in your district
to think of you as the fellow...
1205
01:13:04,110 --> 01:13:07,029
who tripled
their electric bill?
1206
01:13:10,825 --> 01:13:13,202
I just thought that if
we had the hearings...
1207
01:13:13,286 --> 01:13:15,496
Think for a moment, chum.
You hold your hearings.
1208
01:13:15,580 --> 01:13:18,207
Overnight, everyone who
lives near a substation...
1209
01:13:18,291 --> 01:13:21,169
will find the value
of his home in the toilet.
1210
01:13:21,252 --> 01:13:25,173
- You'll kill the real estate market.
- You'll kill the insurance companies.
1211
01:13:25,214 --> 01:13:28,426
- You'll kill the school district.
- You'll kill the local economy.
1212
01:13:28,509 --> 01:13:31,637
[Thundering]
1213
01:13:34,891 --> 01:13:38,186
Son, system ain't perfect.
1214
01:13:38,227 --> 01:13:40,855
But the fleas come with the dog.
1215
01:13:44,442 --> 01:13:47,403
Maybe I should
think about it, huh?
1216
01:13:47,445 --> 01:13:49,489
- Atta boy.
- [Clearing Throat]
1217
01:13:49,572 --> 01:13:53,242
Oh, Thomas, on a completely
different subject here.
1218
01:13:53,284 --> 01:13:55,578
You haven't set up
a state PAC yet, have ya?
1219
01:13:55,661 --> 01:13:59,582
'Cause I'd be happy to start one off
with a contribution of, say, 200,000.
1220
01:14:03,878 --> 01:14:05,798
No strings attached.
1221
01:14:05,881 --> 01:14:09,510
Natch.
1222
01:14:16,475 --> 01:14:18,602
- You were beautiful, Olaf.
- No, you were beautiful, Dick.
1223
01:14:18,685 --> 01:14:23,315
- No, you were beautiful, Terry.
- To the mutual aid society.
1224
01:14:42,709 --> 01:14:45,254
- Hey.
- Hi.
1225
01:14:45,337 --> 01:14:49,508
So? Are the Jubas
gonna testify? Hmm?
1226
01:14:49,591 --> 01:14:51,593
When's the committee
holding hearings?
1227
01:14:51,677 --> 01:14:56,515
Um, actually, I think the, the hearings
might be postponed a little bit.
1228
01:14:56,598 --> 01:14:58,600
What's Dodge pulling now?
1229
01:14:58,684 --> 01:15:03,355
Nothin'. It's actually kinda good,
'cause now I get to, you know...
1230
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:07,443
Get to round up some other members
and get my ducks in a row and...
1231
01:15:11,029 --> 01:15:13,574
[Laughing]
1232
01:15:13,657 --> 01:15:16,453
- You shafted me on the ethics bill!
- Hey, Eli!
1233
01:15:16,494 --> 01:15:20,123
You just missed a good one.
Wait a minute, that reminds me.
1234
01:15:20,165 --> 01:15:23,626
- Same two old men on a park bench...
- It's a closed rule!
1235
01:15:23,668 --> 01:15:26,671
I can't get my amendments on the floor!
I can't get a recorded vote.
1236
01:15:26,713 --> 01:15:28,715
I can't get squat!
1237
01:15:28,756 --> 01:15:31,551
This is not the rules committee.
This is the steam room.
1238
01:15:31,634 --> 01:15:35,680
This is the U.S. Congress. The American
people deserve better than this!
1239
01:15:35,763 --> 01:15:39,476
You know what your problem is, Eli?
You've got "sermonitis."
1240
01:15:39,559 --> 01:15:40,852
[Laughing]
1241
01:15:40,894 --> 01:15:44,689
Now, why don't you just relax?
Have a massage.
1242
01:15:44,731 --> 01:15:50,195
I've got news for ya, Dick.
I'm gonna run against you for speaker.
1243
01:15:50,236 --> 01:15:52,822
I'm gonna make this
whole race boil down...
1244
01:15:52,864 --> 01:15:55,742
to whether we want a sleaze like you
in the speaker's chair.
1245
01:15:55,825 --> 01:15:59,496
I'll bet ya $100
you don't get ten votes.
1246
01:15:59,537 --> 01:16:02,540
[Sighing]
I'm gonna be your shadow, Dick.
1247
01:16:02,582 --> 01:16:06,419
Every member ya strong-arm,
every reporter ya background,
1248
01:16:06,503 --> 01:16:09,798
every talk show ya go on,
I'll be there.
1249
01:16:09,881 --> 01:16:12,717
Five votes!
Nobody likes to hear a sermon.
1250
01:16:12,759 --> 01:16:16,513
I may not have a rat's ass
of a chance to beat you,
1251
01:16:16,554 --> 01:16:19,015
but I sure as hell
can let the world know...
1252
01:16:19,057 --> 01:16:22,018
what you stand for.
1253
01:16:30,569 --> 01:16:33,155
I went too far with him.
I know it.
1254
01:16:33,239 --> 01:16:36,200
- Now you know him pretty well, don't you?
- I wouldn't say I knew him well.
1255
01:16:36,283 --> 01:16:39,453
Oh, come on, Thomas,
you're seein' his niece.
1256
01:16:39,537 --> 01:16:42,706
- Hell, you've been out to his damn church.
- How do you know that?
1257
01:16:42,790 --> 01:16:45,751
Because I keep my ear
to the ground.
1258
01:16:45,793 --> 01:16:48,129
Now, Thomas,
he'll listen to you.
1259
01:16:48,212 --> 01:16:50,714
I want you to go make
the peace between us.
1260
01:16:50,798 --> 01:16:53,259
Tell him we'll work something out
with his amendments.
1261
01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:57,763
Not a vote, I won't go that far. But at least
he'll get to say his peace from the floor.
1262
01:16:57,847 --> 01:16:59,974
Just get him off of my back.
1263
01:17:04,186 --> 01:17:06,647
- Another round?
- Yeah, why not?
1264
01:17:06,730 --> 01:17:09,859
To the honorable Dick Dodge.
1265
01:17:11,610 --> 01:17:13,571
Hey.
1266
01:17:15,698 --> 01:17:18,784
By the time I'm finished with him,
he won't be speaker.
1267
01:17:18,868 --> 01:17:20,953
He'll be lucky
if they don't indict him.
1268
01:17:21,036 --> 01:17:24,957
Eli, people do things that they regret,
man. People make mistakes.
1269
01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:27,460
- Dick's been under a lot of pressure lately.
- Come on!
1270
01:17:27,501 --> 01:17:29,712
Thomas, you're
Dick Dodge's yes-man.
1271
01:17:29,795 --> 01:17:33,424
I am not a yes-man.
When Dick says no, I say no.
1272
01:17:33,466 --> 01:17:37,596
I know what you're up to.
He's scared and this is damage control.
1273
01:17:37,637 --> 01:17:42,517
Yeah, well, you know what?
This town...
1274
01:17:42,601 --> 01:17:45,395
It isn't about
passin' laws anymore.
1275
01:17:45,479 --> 01:17:48,940
It isn't about
doing good anymore.
1276
01:17:49,024 --> 01:17:52,778
All it's about...
is bein' here.
1277
01:17:52,819 --> 01:17:56,198
[Loretta]
Well, as I live and breathe.
1278
01:17:56,281 --> 01:17:58,658
- Hey, cuz.
- Hey.
1279
01:17:58,700 --> 01:18:02,746
Oh, I'm sorry. This is
Miss Loretta Hicks from my staff.
1280
01:18:02,829 --> 01:18:05,373
- This is Congressman Hawkins.
- Pleasure to meet you.
1281
01:18:05,457 --> 01:18:09,127
Oh, would you like a drink?
1282
01:18:09,169 --> 01:18:12,756
You know, you two look like you
could use a designated driver.
1283
01:18:12,839 --> 01:18:16,551
- Oh, good samaritan.
- Praise 'em.
1284
01:18:22,140 --> 01:18:25,644
[Dispatcher] Number 22,
I got a pickup at the Regency,
1285
01:18:25,685 --> 01:18:27,896
going to National.
1286
01:18:30,982 --> 01:18:33,527
You want a girlfriend?
1287
01:18:33,610 --> 01:18:37,072
[Dispatcher]
Eighteen, Union Station.
1288
01:18:48,751 --> 01:18:51,629
Shit!
1289
01:18:51,712 --> 01:18:55,550
[Indistinct Yelling]
1290
01:18:55,633 --> 01:18:59,554
[Indistinct]
1291
01:19:09,897 --> 01:19:11,816
Oh, shit.
1292
01:19:33,463 --> 01:19:35,465
Yeah, I need
an ambulance right away.
1293
01:19:37,758 --> 01:19:40,803
[Telephone Beeping]
Hello?
1294
01:19:40,887 --> 01:19:43,181
- It's somebody called Thomas Johnson.
- Oh.
1295
01:19:43,264 --> 01:19:45,600
- What's wrong?
- I went out with Hawkins.
1296
01:19:45,683 --> 01:19:48,603
We got in an accident.
He's out cold. I'm okay though.
1297
01:19:48,644 --> 01:19:53,441
- Were you driving?
- No, it was Miss Loretta.
1298
01:19:53,524 --> 01:19:56,861
- The girl from your office?
- Yeah. Hey, look, man.
1299
01:19:56,944 --> 01:19:59,072
I don't like the way
this looks for anybody, okay?
1300
01:19:59,156 --> 01:20:02,159
You said you wanted to get back in Hawkins'
good graces. This is your opportunity.
1301
01:20:02,242 --> 01:20:06,663
All right. Now you listen
to me very carefully.
1302
01:20:06,747 --> 01:20:09,500
I want you to tell the ambulance
to take you to Walter Reed Hospital.
1303
01:20:09,583 --> 01:20:13,295
It's a privilege they extend
to congressmen. They'll keep it quiet.
1304
01:20:13,378 --> 01:20:17,966
I'll handle the police and you go home.
Keep your mouth shut.
1305
01:20:18,050 --> 01:20:20,177
[Beeping]
1306
01:20:20,260 --> 01:20:23,597
- [Ringing]
- What? What? What?
1307
01:20:25,224 --> 01:20:29,311
Hello? Hello?
Mr... . Mr... . Mr. Chairman?
1308
01:20:29,394 --> 01:20:32,940
Um, um, um,
no, no, no, no, sir.
1309
01:20:33,023 --> 01:20:35,609
No, no, I'm,
I'm, I'm a night owl.
1310
01:20:35,692 --> 01:20:39,404
Uh-huh, um...
1311
01:20:39,488 --> 01:20:41,824
Oh, my God,
is, is he all right?
1312
01:20:43,575 --> 01:20:46,995
G-Good, good, good.
Um, and, and Eli and Loretta?
1313
01:20:48,122 --> 01:20:53,168
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
1314
01:20:53,210 --> 01:20:55,921
Uh-huh.
1315
01:20:56,004 --> 01:20:57,923
That's brilliant,
Mr. Chairman.
1316
01:20:58,006 --> 01:21:02,136
No, I'll call the morning shows and
leak the information. They'll eat it up.
1317
01:21:02,219 --> 01:21:05,806
At the top of the news,
Maryland Congressman Elijah Hawkins...
1318
01:21:05,848 --> 01:21:09,018
is in satisfactory condition
at Walter Reed Hospital...
1319
01:21:09,102 --> 01:21:11,146
after an overnight accident
in the district.
1320
01:21:11,229 --> 01:21:15,733
That's right, Laura. Hawkins
reportedly had alcohol in his blood.
1321
01:21:15,817 --> 01:21:19,237
Also slightly injured was
an unidentified woman whom police say...
1322
01:21:19,320 --> 01:21:21,573
is linked to a phone-sex
operation in Florida.
1323
01:21:21,656 --> 01:21:23,700
- Shit.
- Linda, Congressman Hawkins?
1324
01:21:23,783 --> 01:21:26,202
That's Reverend Hawkins,
isn't it?
1325
01:21:26,286 --> 01:21:29,706
Right you are, Laura. And how this plays
into his longstanding campaign...
1326
01:21:29,747 --> 01:21:32,292
to reform congressional ethics
is now anyone's guess.
1327
01:21:34,085 --> 01:21:36,045
I'm trying to find
Reverend Eli Hawkins.
1328
01:21:36,087 --> 01:21:40,341
[Nurse]
Let me check for you.
1329
01:21:40,425 --> 01:21:43,511
Yes, he's right around
the corner there.
1330
01:21:46,097 --> 01:21:49,225
Stay away from him.
Stay away from me too.
1331
01:21:49,309 --> 01:21:52,353
- Celia, listen, we were set up.
- We were set up?
1332
01:21:52,437 --> 01:21:54,898
You were in the car. I didn't hear
your name mentioned on the news.
1333
01:21:54,939 --> 01:21:59,277
- Somethin' stinks here.
- It sure does, and guess who it is, Thomas?
1334
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:01,321
You don't give a damn
about anything, do you?
1335
01:22:01,404 --> 01:22:03,364
To think the other night
I actually thought you cared...
1336
01:22:03,448 --> 01:22:06,201
- About somebody other than yourself.
- You know how I feel about...
1337
01:22:06,242 --> 01:22:09,537
Not me! You jerk!
Mickey Juba.
1338
01:22:09,579 --> 01:22:12,957
You caved on the power lines,
didn't you?
1339
01:22:13,041 --> 01:22:16,920
Don't even answer because I know
you did. What'd you get for it?
1340
01:22:17,003 --> 01:22:20,090
- Are you gonna let me talk?
- Get the hell outta here.
1341
01:22:20,132 --> 01:22:23,093
Get out!
1342
01:22:32,102 --> 01:22:35,356
[Thomas]
Hattie! Hattie Rifkin?
1343
01:22:35,439 --> 01:22:38,526
- Oh, rifkeleh!
- Don't rifkeleh me, you momzer!
1344
01:22:38,609 --> 01:22:41,570
- What the hell do you want?
- Hattie, I wanna talk to you.
1345
01:22:41,654 --> 01:22:45,741
I've heard that before,
Mr. Name-You-Know.
1346
01:22:45,825 --> 01:22:50,162
Hattie, I know you got me elected and I
forgot your name in the mornin'. I'm sorry.
1347
01:22:50,246 --> 01:22:54,208
I'm sorry, but I really, really,
really... I really need you.
1348
01:22:54,291 --> 01:22:57,419
So talk.
1349
01:22:57,628 --> 01:23:00,464
Why are we meetin' here,
Thomas?
1350
01:23:00,548 --> 01:23:02,550
Trouble at the office?
1351
01:23:02,633 --> 01:23:05,261
Well, Dodge says he keeps
his ear to the ground.
1352
01:23:05,344 --> 01:23:07,638
But I know that's bullshit.
He has an inside man.
1353
01:23:07,680 --> 01:23:09,640
- Reinhardt?
- Yes.
1354
01:23:09,682 --> 01:23:13,144
- Let's whack him.
- Hey, this ain't Scarface, all right?
1355
01:23:14,520 --> 01:23:18,023
You got a plan?
1356
01:23:18,107 --> 01:23:21,902
Big con.
Dick Dodge is the mark.
1357
01:23:21,986 --> 01:23:24,613
- Dick Dodge? - Aren't we getting
out of our league here, man?
1358
01:23:24,655 --> 01:23:26,657
This guy's been doin'
the big con for over 30 years.
1359
01:23:26,740 --> 01:23:29,411
Mmm, cuz, these politicians,
1360
01:23:29,494 --> 01:23:32,330
these are some serious slick fish.
1361
01:23:32,372 --> 01:23:35,167
Wait a second. Is everybody
goin' soft here all of a sudden?
1362
01:23:35,250 --> 01:23:37,961
Are you all a bunch
of fuckin' incumbents now?
1363
01:23:38,044 --> 01:23:40,672
Listen, Thursday, Dick Dodge
is at the arts caucus, all right?
1364
01:23:40,755 --> 01:23:43,925
I need to know how long it takes
to get from there to the EPA building.
1365
01:23:44,009 --> 01:23:45,886
All right, Armando?
Okay, now.
1366
01:23:45,969 --> 01:23:49,055
Loretta, get some information
on the EPA and give that to the roper.
1367
01:23:49,139 --> 01:23:51,308
I got a list of equipment
I want you to go get.
1368
01:23:51,391 --> 01:23:53,477
- Crazy, baby.
- Hey.
1369
01:23:53,560 --> 01:23:57,355
Don't we need a new roper? I mean, hey,
look, everybody around here knows our faces.
1370
01:23:57,439 --> 01:24:00,650
- [Car Horn Honking]
- Speak of the devil.
1371
01:24:05,739 --> 01:24:08,617
- My man!
- What up, T?
1372
01:24:08,700 --> 01:24:12,829
- Homer!
- What's up?
1373
01:24:15,415 --> 01:24:19,753
Hey, Dick.
Eli Hawkins got his tail...
1374
01:24:19,836 --> 01:24:22,547
- Caught in a crack, huh?
- He did.
1375
01:24:22,631 --> 01:24:25,884
- And you kept my name out of it?
- I did.
1376
01:24:25,967 --> 01:24:28,220
- So I owe you?
- You do.
1377
01:24:32,766 --> 01:24:35,560
This hearing of the committee on Power
and Industry will come to order.
1378
01:24:35,602 --> 01:24:39,357
[Dodge] The health
of America's insurance industry...
1379
01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:44,070
Hey, come here. Somethin' came up.
I got a call from an EPA guy.
1380
01:24:44,112 --> 01:24:46,447
Said he heard how fast
I bailed on the power lines.
1381
01:24:46,531 --> 01:24:48,783
He's got something
really hot for me.
1382
01:24:48,866 --> 01:24:52,829
He wants to meet me outta the office,
after business hours, like tonight.
1383
01:24:56,958 --> 01:24:59,418
[Thomas]
Mr. Whitney?
1384
01:24:59,460 --> 01:25:01,712
You said you'd be alone.
1385
01:25:01,796 --> 01:25:03,881
What is he doin' here?
What is he, a cop?
1386
01:25:03,923 --> 01:25:07,301
You wearin' a wire?
You wearin' a goddamn wire?
1387
01:25:07,385 --> 01:25:09,303
Relax, Mr. Whitney,
I'm not wired.
1388
01:25:09,387 --> 01:25:11,889
Yeah?
1389
01:25:11,973 --> 01:25:14,559
Well, let's see.
1390
01:25:14,642 --> 01:25:17,478
I know you got it.
I just gotta find it, that's all.
1391
01:25:19,397 --> 01:25:22,650
- Get your hands off me!
- Hey, man, I told ya he's okay.
1392
01:25:22,733 --> 01:25:24,694
He's not wired.
Look. He has no wire here.
1393
01:25:24,777 --> 01:25:27,864
No wire. You can trust him.
Look at this guy.
1394
01:25:27,947 --> 01:25:32,452
He's got fire engines on his drawers.
This is a good man. Now cool it. Just relax.
1395
01:25:32,535 --> 01:25:34,912
Is this gonna be
something we can use?
1396
01:25:34,954 --> 01:25:38,166
Your friends at the power company
would be very interested.
1397
01:25:41,210 --> 01:25:45,923
- Talk to me.
- All right.
1398
01:25:45,965 --> 01:25:48,968
The White House
is putting heat on the EPA.
1399
01:25:49,051 --> 01:25:51,930
Now we're gonna announce
a major investigation...
1400
01:25:52,014 --> 01:25:54,808
on the relation between power lines
and cancer clusters.
1401
01:26:06,236 --> 01:26:09,490
Mrs. Dodge, it's Arthur Reinhardt.
May I please speak to the chairman?
1402
01:26:13,577 --> 01:26:16,789
[Woman On Intercom]
Mr. Andersen? Mr. Bridges is on one.
1403
01:26:16,872 --> 01:26:19,500
Zeke!
How in the hell are ya?
1404
01:26:19,583 --> 01:26:22,377
[As Zeke] I'm madder than a baptist
in a brothel, you som-bitch!
1405
01:26:22,461 --> 01:26:27,132
Olaf! You hear about this EPA bullshit?
Why, it could ruin Gulf Coast Power!
1406
01:26:27,174 --> 01:26:30,135
They're goin' ahead with this goddamn
power lines investigation.
1407
01:26:30,177 --> 01:26:33,347
I thought we had this settled.
They don't have any proof.
1408
01:26:33,430 --> 01:26:35,432
They ain't lookin' for proof! They're
lookin' for dinner and we're it!
1409
01:26:35,516 --> 01:26:38,227
I tell ya, I'm about as crazy
as a dog in a hubcap factory.
1410
01:26:38,310 --> 01:26:42,272
[Sighing]
Ah, shit.
1411
01:26:42,356 --> 01:26:45,359
All right, Zeke.
1412
01:26:45,442 --> 01:26:47,986
Zeke, I'm goin' up to D.C.
for the clean air hearings anyway.
1413
01:26:48,070 --> 01:26:50,531
I'll talk to Dodge.
1414
01:26:52,116 --> 01:26:54,118
- Ya got a second?
- Yeah.
1415
01:26:54,201 --> 01:26:56,537
Okay, I heard something. And I know
there's some business in it.
1416
01:26:56,620 --> 01:27:01,251
- I'm listening.
- EPA, launching a big investigation on power lines.
1417
01:27:01,334 --> 01:27:04,337
- They're gettin' a lot of pressure from the
White House. - That's very interesting.
1418
01:27:04,420 --> 01:27:07,757
I heard the same thing.
1419
01:27:07,841 --> 01:27:10,135
- Nothing gets by you, does it?
- Not much.
1420
01:27:10,218 --> 01:27:14,013
But thank you, son.
I appreciate your sharing that with me.
1421
01:27:14,055 --> 01:27:17,225
Okay, so, there's probably
something in it for us.
1422
01:27:17,308 --> 01:27:20,353
Thomas, if we got the EPA
off Olaf Andersen's back,
1423
01:27:20,395 --> 01:27:23,231
he'd be extremely
appreciative.
1424
01:27:23,314 --> 01:27:27,569
- So... how do we go about doin' that?
- My committee.
1425
01:27:27,652 --> 01:27:31,197
We audit their funding.
Hell, I got him by the balls.
1426
01:27:31,239 --> 01:27:33,575
- So you're just gonna rip their balls o...
- Oh, no, no, no.
1427
01:27:33,616 --> 01:27:36,619
Thomas, persuasion.
1428
01:27:36,703 --> 01:27:40,248
- Strenuous persuasion.
- Oh, now, that's allowed.
1429
01:27:40,331 --> 01:27:43,251
Persuasion, yes.
Intimidation, no.
1430
01:27:43,334 --> 01:27:46,087
But... it's a gray area.
1431
01:27:46,171 --> 01:27:48,590
- Who's to say which is which?
- Oh!
1432
01:27:48,673 --> 01:27:51,926
Persuasion. You can't rip 'em out.
You have to persuade 'em out.
1433
01:27:52,010 --> 01:27:55,138
Hey, Dick, is there somebody
you can call to make sure...
1434
01:27:55,221 --> 01:27:57,265
the EPA's really doing
the investigation?
1435
01:27:57,348 --> 01:27:59,767
- Of course. He oughta be in by now.
- Who?
1436
01:27:59,851 --> 01:28:05,148
Skeeter Warburton, of course.
Always go straight to the top, son.
1437
01:28:05,231 --> 01:28:09,694
Oh, a little outta
my league, Dick.
1438
01:28:15,284 --> 01:28:17,161
Hey.
1439
01:28:18,245 --> 01:28:20,039
Watch it.
1440
01:28:20,122 --> 01:28:22,750
Let's go!
1441
01:28:25,503 --> 01:28:28,422
[Hattie]
Congressman Dodge?
1442
01:28:28,506 --> 01:28:31,509
Oh, uh, uh, Mrs. Rifkin
from the, uh...
1443
01:28:31,592 --> 01:28:33,969
Silver Foxes. You remember,
1444
01:28:34,053 --> 01:28:37,181
America's second-largest
seniors' organization...
1445
01:28:37,264 --> 01:28:40,935
with members in every district
in Florida, including yours.
1446
01:28:41,018 --> 01:28:44,605
Oh, yes, of course. It's a marvelous
organization, just marvelous.
1447
01:28:44,688 --> 01:28:48,192
- Well, it's always a pleasure to see...
- I need to talk to you.
1448
01:28:48,275 --> 01:28:52,154
Yes, I'd like that very much, but right
now I'm in a rush to get back to my office.
1449
01:28:52,196 --> 01:28:55,991
- You call for an appointment. We'll get together...
- This won't take a second.
1450
01:28:56,033 --> 01:28:58,911
- Could I just walk ya to your office?
- Uh, well...
1451
01:28:58,994 --> 01:29:01,163
- That'd be fine.
- Oh, good.
1452
01:29:22,602 --> 01:29:26,356
If the FDA would just agree
to look at the new support hose,
1453
01:29:26,398 --> 01:29:29,192
we'd feel like
we made some progress.
1454
01:29:29,276 --> 01:29:33,280
Indeed, you know, Mrs. Rifkin, I'm
always so excited to hear your views,
1455
01:29:33,363 --> 01:29:35,699
but really, dear,
I've got to run.
1456
01:29:35,782 --> 01:29:37,909
So run,
who's keeping you?
1457
01:29:37,993 --> 01:29:41,663
So don't be a stranger.
Keep in touch.
1458
01:29:55,510 --> 01:29:57,429
[Elevator Bell Ringing]
1459
01:30:01,558 --> 01:30:04,603
[Elevator Bell Ringing]
1460
01:30:14,362 --> 01:30:16,865
[Coin Clanging]
1461
01:30:25,332 --> 01:30:28,251
Kimberly, can you get me
Skeeter Warburton on the phone, please?
1462
01:30:28,293 --> 01:30:30,295
Right away, Chairman Dodge.
1463
01:30:31,798 --> 01:30:36,052
- Uh, sweep for radon?
- Radon? I'm sorry, l...
1464
01:30:36,093 --> 01:30:38,095
I don't recall.
1465
01:30:38,179 --> 01:30:40,640
Do you have a work order?
1466
01:30:40,723 --> 01:30:43,476
Oh, no, uh,
Supervisor said, uh...
1467
01:30:43,559 --> 01:30:46,103
Supervisor said ain't supposed
to be no paperwork on this...
1468
01:30:46,187 --> 01:30:48,648
'cause something about
y'all killed some radon study.
1469
01:30:48,731 --> 01:30:51,108
Well, we did delete
a few minor budget items.
1470
01:30:51,192 --> 01:30:53,236
Hey, how's it gonna look
to the other people...
1471
01:30:53,277 --> 01:30:57,156
if they find out I swept your office
for radon, didn't do everybody else's?
1472
01:30:57,240 --> 01:31:00,326
- How that gonna look, Mr. Warburton?
- Point taken. Go right ahead.
1473
01:31:00,409 --> 01:31:02,787
You better step outside. I gotta spray
some nasty shit. Look at that.
1474
01:31:02,829 --> 01:31:05,665
Uh-huh.
1475
01:31:05,748 --> 01:31:08,584
Ah, Brenda? I'm stepping out
for a few minutes.
1476
01:31:08,668 --> 01:31:12,130
Yeah, Brenda, don't come in here, 'cause
you may get some of this shit on ya.
1477
01:31:22,056 --> 01:31:24,267
[As Warburton]
Ah, Brenda, I've changed my mind.
1478
01:31:24,350 --> 01:31:28,604
- I'm expecting a call from...
- Mr. Warburton, Chairman Dodge is on line two.
1479
01:31:28,688 --> 01:31:32,150
Oh, speak of the devil.
Put him through.
1480
01:31:32,233 --> 01:31:34,610
Afternoon, Mr. Chairman.
Skeeter here.
1481
01:31:34,652 --> 01:31:36,654
I need a straight answer
from you, Skeeter.
1482
01:31:36,696 --> 01:31:38,698
Is the White House
on your back about power lines?
1483
01:31:38,739 --> 01:31:42,034
- Are we off the record, Mr. Chairman?
- Of course.
1484
01:31:42,118 --> 01:31:46,123
I had hoped to go up to Hyannis Port
this weekend to spend time with Tish...
1485
01:31:46,165 --> 01:31:49,084
and do some sailing, but I don't think
I'm going to be able to because I'm...
1486
01:31:49,168 --> 01:31:53,297
spending a lot of time in the office writing
testimony to your committee on cancer clusters.
1487
01:31:53,338 --> 01:31:58,469
Well, l, uh, appreciate
your candor, Skeeter.
1488
01:31:58,510 --> 01:32:01,138
- Anything to be of help, Mr. Chairman.
- Bye.
1489
01:32:04,516 --> 01:32:08,479
[As Warburton] Ah, take off for
the rest of the week, please, Brenda.
1490
01:32:08,562 --> 01:32:11,023
[Dodge] I don't see
how I can help ya on this one.
1491
01:32:11,106 --> 01:32:13,734
This is the EPA.
This is the president.
1492
01:32:13,817 --> 01:32:16,862
- This is my lifeblood.
- Olaf, I see that. I see that.
1493
01:32:16,945 --> 01:32:19,364
But in this town
you've gotta pick your fights.
1494
01:32:19,448 --> 01:32:23,160
This could mean
six figures, Dick.
1495
01:32:25,204 --> 01:32:27,915
High six figures.
1496
01:32:30,417 --> 01:32:33,504
Seven figures?
1497
01:32:37,508 --> 01:32:41,470
I suppose a million dollars isn't too
much to insure against losin' five billion.
1498
01:32:41,553 --> 01:32:45,390
- Now you're talkin'.
- But how can I funnel this kind of money to you?
1499
01:32:45,474 --> 01:32:50,020
If that's what you want, we can find a
loophole. No one will see your fingerprints.
1500
01:32:50,062 --> 01:32:52,189
- No one will know?
- No one will know.
1501
01:32:52,231 --> 01:32:55,944
Olaf's just making a contribution
as a patriotic citizen.
1502
01:32:56,027 --> 01:33:00,406
- And in return for that, he's getting...
- Good government!
1503
01:33:00,448 --> 01:33:02,700
Exactly!
Little access, that's all.
1504
01:33:02,742 --> 01:33:06,913
Yes, I'm callin' from Chairman Dodge's
office on the Hill.
1505
01:33:06,996 --> 01:33:12,252
We wanted to be sure CNN was sending
a crew to the clean air hearings today.
1506
01:33:12,335 --> 01:33:14,754
No, not the new
emission standards.
1507
01:33:14,838 --> 01:33:18,800
We're breaking news. This is the biggest
thing since the check bouncing scandal.
1508
01:33:18,842 --> 01:33:21,094
This is Cynthia Leeson from
the White House press office.
1509
01:33:21,177 --> 01:33:24,973
My boss just wanted me to call you folks
and let you know we're going to be making...
1510
01:33:25,056 --> 01:33:29,227
a very important announcement
today at the clean air hearings.
1511
01:33:29,269 --> 01:33:33,815
No, I'm sorry, I can't
tell you that, but it's hot.
1512
01:33:33,898 --> 01:33:36,860
If the New York Times wants to be
the only paper in town to miss out...
1513
01:33:36,943 --> 01:33:39,904
on the biggest story of the year,
that's just up to y'all.
1514
01:33:39,988 --> 01:33:44,492
Hurry up, get into your seats.
Come on, you guys.
1515
01:33:44,576 --> 01:33:47,328
[Hattie] It's gonna be a great day.
Molly, next to Harry.
1516
01:33:49,873 --> 01:33:52,459
- Let's sit here.
- What, in the back?
1517
01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:54,461
- Just sit down, will you?
- All right.
1518
01:33:54,544 --> 01:33:58,798
- How's everything?
- Great.
1519
01:33:58,882 --> 01:34:01,426
You know what would be
a wonderful way for us to start?
1520
01:34:01,509 --> 01:34:05,514
With me congratulating you on what a wonderful
job you've been doing on the committee.
1521
01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:09,185
And really show our appreciation especially
on behalf of the minority community.
1522
01:34:09,268 --> 01:34:11,437
Well, I appreciate that, son.
Thank you very much.
1523
01:34:11,520 --> 01:34:13,939
I'm cutting out of here early.
1524
01:34:14,023 --> 01:34:16,025
[Ira]
Don't wanna run into him?
1525
01:34:16,108 --> 01:34:18,110
This is a mistake.
I never should have come.
1526
01:34:18,152 --> 01:34:21,280
I'm surprised, well, delighted
by the media turnout today.
1527
01:34:21,322 --> 01:34:26,160
- I had no idea that clean air was such a good issue.
- Oh, yeah, isn't it somethin'?
1528
01:34:33,042 --> 01:34:35,544
This meeting of the Power
and Industry Committee...
1529
01:34:35,628 --> 01:34:39,840
to consider the reauthorization
of the clean air act is now in session.
1530
01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:42,843
Today's first business is a panel
of national leaders...
1531
01:34:42,885 --> 01:34:45,721
in the field of utilities,
but before I welcome them,
1532
01:34:45,805 --> 01:34:50,726
the chair would like to yield to the
distinguished gentleman from Florida.
1533
01:34:50,810 --> 01:34:55,272
Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I'd like to make
a very personal statement, Mr. Chairman.
1534
01:34:55,356 --> 01:34:59,777
I would like to start off by saying
thank you from the bottom of my heart,
1535
01:34:59,860 --> 01:35:04,198
thank you for your leadership
and for your vision.
1536
01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:06,992
But most of all I'd like to
thank you for your courage.
1537
01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:10,246
Especially for your courage.
1538
01:35:10,329 --> 01:35:15,377
- My courage, huh?
- Yes, sir, your courage...
1539
01:35:15,460 --> 01:35:20,549
in exposing the corruption
that eats away at this institution.
1540
01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:23,176
Your courage in taking on
the special interests...
1541
01:35:23,260 --> 01:35:27,347
and your courage in taking
a major new step.
1542
01:35:27,430 --> 01:35:29,432
But l-I've done nothing new.
1543
01:35:29,516 --> 01:35:31,852
Nothing at all.
What are you talking about?
1544
01:35:31,935 --> 01:35:35,730
This is true! Because integrity
is nothing new to you, Mr. Chairman.
1545
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:38,400
Integrity is second nature
to this man.
1546
01:35:38,483 --> 01:35:41,695
But still it's a rare public servant
who'll take on the PACs...
1547
01:35:41,778 --> 01:35:46,074
and the lobbyists
and the fat cats...
1548
01:35:46,158 --> 01:35:49,578
and side with the American family who
just want to live in safe neighborhoods...
1549
01:35:49,661 --> 01:35:51,955
and send their kids
off to safe schools.
1550
01:35:52,038 --> 01:35:55,208
Well, I thank the gentleman, but we really
must move along. If the gentleman would...
1551
01:35:55,292 --> 01:35:58,003
Ladies and gentlemen,
yesterday,
1552
01:35:58,086 --> 01:36:00,714
I had a meeting
with the chairman...
1553
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:03,133
in his office
with Mr. Olaf Andersen...
1554
01:36:03,216 --> 01:36:06,720
of Gulf Coast Power,
and his lobbyist, Mr. Terry Corrigan.
1555
01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:10,974
I thank the gentleman!
But we really must move along!
1556
01:36:11,057 --> 01:36:12,976
The subject of this meeting...
1557
01:36:13,059 --> 01:36:16,313
was the possible EPA
investigation on power lines...
1558
01:36:16,396 --> 01:36:19,733
and the connection between them
and increased cancer risks.
1559
01:36:19,774 --> 01:36:21,985
Gentleman's out of order.
1560
01:36:22,068 --> 01:36:24,989
Now what makes
this meeting different...
1561
01:36:25,072 --> 01:36:28,284
from most of the other meetings
that take place in Washington...
1562
01:36:28,367 --> 01:36:32,121
was that the American people
were actually represented...
1563
01:36:32,205 --> 01:36:35,416
in the form of this.
1564
01:36:37,293 --> 01:36:39,378
Oh!
1565
01:36:42,465 --> 01:36:47,178
At Chairman Dodge's suggestion,
1566
01:36:47,261 --> 01:36:51,057
I videotaped the entire meeting!
1567
01:36:51,140 --> 01:36:53,059
Huh?
1568
01:36:53,142 --> 01:36:56,729
Don't ya love that?
1569
01:36:56,813 --> 01:36:59,982
Isn't that somethin'? Dick Dodge!
Isn't he somethin' special?
1570
01:37:00,066 --> 01:37:02,443
- Don't you love this man?
- [Gavel Pounding]
1571
01:37:02,485 --> 01:37:05,238
- Gentleman is out of order.
- Dodge double-crossed us.
1572
01:37:05,321 --> 01:37:07,865
- You're fired.
- Don't ya love this chairman?
1573
01:37:07,949 --> 01:37:09,867
[Gavel Pounding]
Gentleman is out of order!
1574
01:37:09,951 --> 01:37:13,454
See, he's brought dignity back to
the name Dick. No longer is it tricky.
1575
01:37:13,538 --> 01:37:17,125
Come on, Dick is good!
Dick is good!
1576
01:37:17,208 --> 01:37:19,544
- Turn off his microphone!
- Chairman Dodge!
1577
01:37:23,005 --> 01:37:27,093
This is neither the time
nor the place for these matters.
1578
01:37:27,176 --> 01:37:31,013
But you may rest assured
that the committee...
1579
01:37:31,097 --> 01:37:33,349
will investigate them
thoroughly.
1580
01:37:33,432 --> 01:37:38,355
Now, we're gonna take
a 15-minute recess.
1581
01:37:38,438 --> 01:37:41,733
Dick, you crazy son of a bitch,
you know we planned this.
1582
01:37:42,901 --> 01:37:46,864
[Crowd Murmuring]
1583
01:37:49,449 --> 01:37:53,078
You stupid son of a bitch!
You taped our conversation?
1584
01:37:53,162 --> 01:37:55,831
They are makin' 'em
kinda small nowadays.
1585
01:37:55,873 --> 01:37:58,083
You bastard!
You two bastards!
1586
01:37:58,167 --> 01:38:00,377
You think you're gonna
hang me out to dry? Bullshit!
1587
01:38:00,461 --> 01:38:02,713
If I go down,
you go down, Dick Dodge!
1588
01:38:02,796 --> 01:38:05,549
Say, do you remember that little
$300,000 you squeezed outta me...
1589
01:38:05,632 --> 01:38:08,051
for your voter
registration scam, huh?
1590
01:38:08,093 --> 01:38:10,262
What the hell was that?
Just water under the bridge.
1591
01:38:10,345 --> 01:38:13,015
What about the $200,000
for your phony foundation?
1592
01:38:13,056 --> 01:38:15,726
- Or the bundled checks my executive
put in your pocket? - Okay, now.
1593
01:38:15,809 --> 01:38:18,854
- Olaf. - No, no, I trusted you, Dick.
I gave you my condo in Vail.
1594
01:38:18,896 --> 01:38:21,940
- I gave you my corporate jet to fly all over the...
- All right...
1595
01:38:22,024 --> 01:38:26,528
I bought 10,000 copies of your boring,
dull-ass autobiography!
1596
01:38:26,570 --> 01:38:29,406
I put up scholarships
to send your kids through college.
1597
01:38:29,490 --> 01:38:33,952
I even hired your goddamn color-blind
wife to redecorate my office.
1598
01:38:34,036 --> 01:38:36,497
- Olaf! Jesus! Sit down!
- What are you doin'?
1599
01:38:36,580 --> 01:38:40,334
- I'm tryin' to tell you, I didn't have a goddamn thing
to do with this! - You shittin' me?
1600
01:38:40,417 --> 01:38:44,046
No, no, no, no!
Think! Think!
1601
01:38:44,129 --> 01:38:46,174
I know you got me
by the short and curlies.
1602
01:38:46,257 --> 01:38:49,344
What the hell would I have
to gain by sellin' you out?
1603
01:38:49,427 --> 01:38:52,388
I had no idea that slime bag
was tapin' us.
1604
01:38:52,430 --> 01:38:55,767
Excuse me. Dick?
1605
01:38:55,850 --> 01:38:57,936
Lighten up on the slime bag,
huh?
1606
01:39:01,815 --> 01:39:04,067
What's your game, Thomas?
Shakedown?
1607
01:39:04,108 --> 01:39:08,321
Yeah, it's a shakedown.
All right?
1608
01:39:08,404 --> 01:39:10,657
And unless you
wanna see this...
1609
01:39:10,740 --> 01:39:13,952
all over CNN,
you're gonna pay my price.
1610
01:39:13,993 --> 01:39:15,995
First, I want you
to call Skeeter Warburton.
1611
01:39:16,079 --> 01:39:18,331
I want you to tell him to launch
an investigation on power lines.
1612
01:39:18,414 --> 01:39:20,500
- Wha...
- Ah! There's more.
1613
01:39:20,583 --> 01:39:22,961
I want you to resign. You can
tell people it's for health reasons.
1614
01:39:23,044 --> 01:39:25,213
Most of us will believe that 'cause
we've seen you in the steam room.
1615
01:39:27,006 --> 01:39:29,217
Why the hell are you doin' this?
1616
01:39:29,300 --> 01:39:33,304
I am doing this for Mickey Juba and I'm doin'
this for Celia Kirby and I'm doin' this...
1617
01:39:33,388 --> 01:39:36,808
for my grandmother and about a million
other people you wouldn't give a shit about.
1618
01:39:36,891 --> 01:39:39,185
Who?
1619
01:39:39,269 --> 01:39:43,314
- Do we have a deal or not?
- Well, I guess that...
1620
01:39:43,398 --> 01:39:47,735
depends entirely on what's
on that tape, doesn't it?
1621
01:39:47,819 --> 01:39:50,280
You know what's on this tape.
This is America's sleaziest home video.
1622
01:39:50,363 --> 01:39:53,366
Fuck that. Let's see what you
really got on that tape.
1623
01:39:53,449 --> 01:39:55,660
- This is just a copy!
- Give me that!
1624
01:39:55,743 --> 01:39:58,789
Yo, man, it's just a copy.
1625
01:40:01,750 --> 01:40:06,005
[Loretta As Inga]
Maria, my hot-blooded Spanish friend.
1626
01:40:06,088 --> 01:40:10,426
Babette, zee Parisian pussycat,
and many others.
1627
01:40:10,509 --> 01:40:13,345
- So call the Girls of Many Nations.
- It's a bluff.
1628
01:40:13,429 --> 01:40:15,639
- At 1-900-555...
- It's a stinking, cheap-ass bluff.
1629
01:40:15,681 --> 01:40:19,560
[TV]
NATO.
1630
01:40:19,643 --> 01:40:22,563
But the question is, can we get
the shit back into the horse?
1631
01:40:22,646 --> 01:40:27,359
Why not? He never made
any specific charges.
1632
01:40:27,443 --> 01:40:29,487
So what do we do when
we go back in the hearing?
1633
01:40:29,570 --> 01:40:33,199
Leave that to me. You just walk
back in there lookin' dignified.
1634
01:40:33,282 --> 01:40:36,285
- Dignified.
- And you!
1635
01:40:38,287 --> 01:40:42,333
You better be very, very quiet
in there, my friend.
1636
01:40:42,374 --> 01:40:47,588
I got the goods on you, and it would be my
pleasure to leave tire marks all over you.
1637
01:40:47,671 --> 01:40:50,841
- Oh, like you did Hawkins?
- Oh, not even close.
1638
01:40:50,925 --> 01:40:54,804
So unless you wanna spend
the next 20 years in prison,
1639
01:40:54,887 --> 01:40:56,972
you keep your mouth shut.
1640
01:40:57,056 --> 01:41:00,851
Now, do we understand
each other here?
1641
01:41:00,935 --> 01:41:02,895
Yeah, we understand
each other.
1642
01:41:02,937 --> 01:41:05,856
Huh?
1643
01:41:05,898 --> 01:41:09,861
All right, let's do it.
1644
01:41:17,786 --> 01:41:19,830
[Man] All right, folks,
step back, please. Come on.
1645
01:41:19,913 --> 01:41:21,873
Clear the hallway now.
Give 'em some room.
1646
01:41:21,957 --> 01:41:24,417
[Indistinct Shouting]
1647
01:41:24,501 --> 01:41:28,255
Chairman Dodge!
1648
01:41:28,338 --> 01:41:30,423
Get that thing outta my face!
1649
01:41:30,507 --> 01:41:32,759
What is on that tape?
1650
01:41:32,843 --> 01:41:37,097
[Indistinct Shouting]
1651
01:41:38,181 --> 01:41:40,392
- Come on, let's go in there!
- Go!
1652
01:41:42,978 --> 01:41:45,647
By the way, Dick, I didn't
mean that about your wife.
1653
01:41:45,730 --> 01:41:48,650
I think she's great.
1654
01:41:55,157 --> 01:41:57,492
Thank you, Kimberly.
1655
01:42:01,288 --> 01:42:03,582
These hearings
are now reconvened.
1656
01:42:03,665 --> 01:42:08,712
- Without going into details,
- No problem, no problem.
1657
01:42:08,795 --> 01:42:11,131
I would like to make
a comment on the...
1658
01:42:11,214 --> 01:42:14,134
unfortunate incident
that we all just witnessed.
1659
01:42:14,176 --> 01:42:18,222
Now, this body...
Well, indeed our whole...
1660
01:42:18,306 --> 01:42:20,391
system of government
is imperfect.
1661
01:42:20,475 --> 01:42:24,020
It's imperfect because
it depends on people.
1662
01:42:24,103 --> 01:42:27,648
Human beings who make mistakes,
act in haste,
1663
01:42:27,732 --> 01:42:29,775
misinterpret things...
1664
01:42:29,859 --> 01:42:32,904
Yeah, and do things like buy
10,000 copies of your autobiography.
1665
01:42:32,987 --> 01:42:36,240
Which by the way is not a crime,
unless you make people read it.
1666
01:42:36,324 --> 01:42:40,077
- Damn it, sir, you are out of order.
- [Crowd Laughing]
1667
01:42:40,161 --> 01:42:42,997
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!
1668
01:42:43,039 --> 01:42:46,000
To hell with order. The truth is gonna
come out here today, all right?
1669
01:42:46,083 --> 01:42:49,587
All right!
You want the truth?
1670
01:42:49,670 --> 01:42:52,340
Here's the truth, Congressman.
1671
01:42:52,423 --> 01:42:54,967
The man you see before you
is nothing but a common criminal.
1672
01:42:55,051 --> 01:42:59,096
He got into this House
through fraud! Now!
1673
01:42:59,180 --> 01:43:03,267
You want more truth, Congressman?
Here's your rap sheet.
1674
01:43:03,351 --> 01:43:06,187
Arrest for bookmaking,
cardsharping,
1675
01:43:06,229 --> 01:43:09,774
con games, mail fraud.
1676
01:43:09,857 --> 01:43:14,946
You know, I had hoped to avoid
damaging this noble institution.
1677
01:43:15,029 --> 01:43:20,201
But I can see that you have no respect
for this institution or for anything else.
1678
01:43:20,284 --> 01:43:24,705
There!
I dare you to respond.
1679
01:43:33,924 --> 01:43:36,135
[Crowd Murmuring]
1680
01:43:42,224 --> 01:43:45,853
Yeah, this is me.
Can't deny it.
1681
01:43:45,936 --> 01:43:48,397
Can't deny anything on here.
I did all of this.
1682
01:43:48,438 --> 01:43:51,650
Except for this thing. This woman
got her shoes back. This woman here.
1683
01:43:51,733 --> 01:43:56,196
But everything else on this list
is real. I did it, don't deny it.
1684
01:43:56,238 --> 01:43:59,074
But all of this is nothing...
1685
01:43:59,116 --> 01:44:02,035
compared to the shit I pulled off
right here in Washington.
1686
01:44:02,119 --> 01:44:07,249
And everything I did in this town
would be considered legit.
1687
01:44:07,332 --> 01:44:11,920
Now that is enough!
Have you no shame, Mr. Johnson?
1688
01:44:12,004 --> 01:44:16,925
Do you deny that just five minutes ago
you attempted to impugn the integrity...
1689
01:44:16,967 --> 01:44:19,970
- Of this committee...
- [Andersen On TV] You son-of-a-bitch!
1690
01:44:20,053 --> 01:44:22,723
- You taped our conversation!
- From a highly-respected...
1691
01:44:22,764 --> 01:44:25,851
You two bastards!
You think you can hang me out to dry?
1692
01:44:25,934 --> 01:44:28,812
[Andersen On TV] Bullshit!
If I go down, you go down, Dick Dodge!
1693
01:44:28,896 --> 01:44:32,608
Hey, you remember that $300,000
you squeezed outta me...
1694
01:44:32,691 --> 01:44:36,153
for that phony voter
registration scam, huh?
1695
01:44:36,236 --> 01:44:39,199
What about the $200,000
for that phony foundation, huh?
1696
01:44:39,282 --> 01:44:42,702
Or those bundle of checks
my executive put in your pocket.
1697
01:44:42,785 --> 01:44:45,038
- Olaf! Look!
- I trusted you! I trusted you!
1698
01:44:45,121 --> 01:44:49,626
I gave you my condo in Vail.
I let you fly my corporate jet.
1699
01:44:49,709 --> 01:44:53,505
No, I even bought 10,000 copies of
your boring, dull-ass autobiography.
1700
01:44:53,588 --> 01:44:56,758
- Olaf! Sit down! I'm tryin' to tell ya somethin'.
- What? What?
1701
01:44:56,800 --> 01:44:59,302
I didn't have a goddamn thing
to do with this!
1702
01:44:59,385 --> 01:45:01,429
- Bullshit!
- Olaf! Think!
1703
01:45:01,471 --> 01:45:04,933
- Order! Order!
- You...
1704
01:45:04,974 --> 01:45:08,311
Clear the room!
Clear the goddamn room!
1705
01:45:08,394 --> 01:45:12,315
I want order!
I will have order!
1706
01:45:12,398 --> 01:45:16,736
Come on, let's hear it
for ex-chairman Dodge!
1707
01:45:16,820 --> 01:45:19,197
- Come on! Put your hands together!
- Yes!
1708
01:45:19,280 --> 01:45:21,741
Let's hear it
for the retiring chairman!
1709
01:45:21,825 --> 01:45:24,410
You can do much better than that!
This man is going to jail.
1710
01:45:24,494 --> 01:45:27,580
Give him a big round
of applause! Come on!
1711
01:45:27,664 --> 01:45:31,918
[Man]
Go write a new book!
1712
01:45:32,001 --> 01:45:34,462
- Hey! Hey!
- Thomas!
1713
01:45:34,546 --> 01:45:37,257
Thomas! What the hell are you doing?
We're all gonna go to jail!
1714
01:45:37,340 --> 01:45:41,261
You son of a bitch!
1715
01:45:41,344 --> 01:45:43,304
Look what you did to your man.
Look what you did!
1716
01:45:43,388 --> 01:45:47,433
Hey! Hey! Hey! Yeah, you almost
got your ass whipped just then.
1717
01:45:47,517 --> 01:45:50,604
[Shouting]
1718
01:45:52,648 --> 01:45:54,150
Hold him really tight, hold him. I want to get some
good pictures while he's got color in his cheeks.
1719
01:45:54,191 --> 01:45:59,738
Huh! Now, smile for the cameras, Dick.
How am I doin', huh?
1720
01:45:59,822 --> 01:46:02,491
- That's it. - Thank you.
- Smile, please.
1721
01:46:02,575 --> 01:46:04,535
[Cameras Clicking]
1722
01:46:12,418 --> 01:46:15,045
So how does it feel
being a national hero?
1723
01:46:15,129 --> 01:46:17,590
Terrible. Everybody
knows my face now.
1724
01:46:17,673 --> 01:46:19,842
I'm finished in the line
of business I was in.
1725
01:46:19,925 --> 01:46:23,512
Can't exactly go into 7-Eleven
and pass bad checks anymore, you know.
1726
01:46:23,554 --> 01:46:26,390
- So what are you gonna do?
- Well, I got a full head of hair.
1727
01:46:26,432 --> 01:46:28,684
- Uh-huh.
- A famous face and pretty good bullshit.
1728
01:46:28,726 --> 01:46:32,354
- There's only one thing I can do.
- Congress is gonna throw you out.
1729
01:46:32,438 --> 01:46:35,357
Yeah, but I'm gonna run
for president.
1730
01:46:55,377 --> 01:46:57,588
[Giddy Chuckle]
142551
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