All language subtitles for Buffy The Vampire Slayer S06E01 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 H.264-TrollHD

Previously:

I know you never loved me.
I know that I'm a monster.

But you treat me like a man.

"So they sent the key to her
in the form of a sister."

You were created to open the
gates that separate dimensions.

The little girl, the key. Destroy it, and
the will of the beast will be broken.

I have to jump.
It'll kill you.

Look at what's happening.

No.
Dawnie, I have to.

Be brave. Live.

For me.

Come on!

We're never gonna get anything
killed with you lot holding me back.

I thought the big ones were
supposed to tire more easily.

No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers.
I'm fine.

I just need to die for a minute.

Guys, heads up!

The vampire's circling
back towards you, 6:00.

Try to drive him towards
the Van Elton crypt.

- Van Elton? - Is that the one
with the cute little gargoyle?

Left! Make him go left!
Well, how?

Big, fast and dumb.
Just the way I like 'em.

Sounds like
the units are engaged.

Xander, Anya, stop!

Great googly moogly, Willow.
Would you quit doing that?

- I told you I was gonna get a lay of the
land. - But not the lay of my brain.

It's kind of intrusive. You
could knock first or something.

Xander... I know, I know.

I don't have to talk
when I answer you.

But I saw the fury, and that way
lies spooky carnival death.

Xander, vampire,
other side of that tomb.

- You can get the jump on him if you go the
other way. - Why didn't you just say so?

Tara, down!

Spike!

Spike!

- What are you doing? Help him.
- I did.

You might have let me in on your
plan while he throttled me.

Oh, poor watcher. Did your
life pass before your eyes?

Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost
got shagged, cup of tea?

Guys, help Xander and Anya
over by the Anderson tomb.

Xander!

I got it!

That'll put marzipan
in your pie plate, bingo!

What's with the dadaism, red?

Yeah, she says that pie thing
every time she stakes a vamp now.

I don't know. I was trying
to program in some new puns,

and I kind of ended up
with word salad.

I think it's funny.

It's a glitch.
I'll fix it.

We can't have her messing up in
front of the wrong person...

Or the wrong thing.

We need the world
and the underworld...

To believe that
Buffy is alive and well.

And I will, therefore, fix it. I
got her head back on, didn't I?

And I got her off those knock-knock jokes.
Oh, who's there?

You know, if we want her to be
exactly... she'll never be exactly.

I know. The only really
real Buffy is really Buffy.

And she's gone.

If we want her to be exactly...
she'll never be exactly. I know.

The only really real Buffy is
really Buffy, and she's gone who?

Where's my clog?

I think there's a clog-eating
monster under the bed.

It's really those
lesser-known monsters...

That make living
in sunnydale so hard.

I believe that
that is a dawn monster.

She borrowed them yesterday.
Dawnie?

Hey, you up?
You doing okay?

Besides terror about today and a general
feeling of impending doom? Swell.

Breakfast will make
all things better.

Ooh. Pancakes
could go in bellies.

Dawnie?
Hey, you.

Today's the big day, huh?

Kind of day that makes you wanna
return clogs, don't you think?

I didn't take your clogs.

- Morning.
- Morning.

I was thinking we could go over
your programming again.

Again? You've done
enough, sweetie.

She's either ready to face
this thing or she's not.

Oh. Um, here's some juice, and pancakes
are on the way. Funny shapes or rounds?

Rounds are fine. Uh, what's
up with the mega-witches?

I don't know if you could call
us "mega." Willow, maybe...

No, I mean,
who's gonna eat all that?

Oh! Oops.
Um, she wanted to help.

And I got her started,
but then I forgot to unstart.

House of chicks, relax.
I'm a man, and I have a tool.

Tools.
Lots of plural tools...

In my, uh, toolbox.

Ah! Sandwiches.
Excellent.

- Men like sandwiches.
- Help yourself, really.

So what brings you
so early, your macho-ness?

Brought that soldering wire you
wanted for buffybot's tune-up.

You got funny shapes
anyway. Sorry.

I'll get it!

No!
Um, it could be my dad.

- He said he'd call today.
- I'll just say hello.

He's my biological ancestor.

Hello?
Hey, Anya.

Really?
That's fantastic!

Anya found that thing
for tonight.

Oh, yeah? Great.

And you're
her sweet cookie-face.

I go by many names.

- What's tonight? - Oh, just a Scooby
meeting. Spike'll be here with you.

You know, buffybot, maybe you
should let the machine...

The other machine... answer
the phone from now on.

Okay? Is my phone
manner not correct?

It-it's perfect. It's just
we can't take the chance...

That Mr. summers might talk to
you and know something's wrong.

If he thought
the real Buffy was gone,

he could take dawn away.

And I want to stay here...

With you and Willow and Tara.

- Understand?
- I do.

I want you to stay here as well.
You're my sister.

So, excellent.
We're agreed.

Sit your robo-self down
so we can get to work.

We need to fix up
those fighting skills pronto.

Actually, we have bigger worries
than her fighting skills today.

- Way bigger.
- I guess.

- Depends on how highly you prize punning.
- I'm serious, Xander.

Buffybot is about to face her
most dangerous challenge ever.

As you can see, we provide the
best in progressive learning,

but we can't teach your
children unless you do.

As parents, you have
a responsibility...

To create the right attitude...

To teach your child
what school can mean.

Ms. summers?

School is where you learn.

Exactly. Parents let
kids focus on school...

As a social experience rather
than a learning experience.

We want you to get your kids just
as excited about education...

As they are
about the lunch hour.

I helped make lunch today.

- Oh.
- Yes, before school.

Peanut butter and jelly. I don't
eat, but dawn takes one every day.

Tell me about it. My kid's
been brown-bagging it...

Even though I paid
for the lunch program.

It's true. Something has to be done
about the quality of the food.

Anya, this register report
for January looks a bit off.

Pull the files again.

Are you mad at me?

- Mad? No, I'm-I'm... - well,
then why are you torturing me?

You know, I used to punish people
like this when I was a demon.

I made them double-check
spreadsheets for all eternity.

I'm sorry if you resent
my thoroughness,

but I won't be comfortable leaving
here until I know that absolutely...

You're taking
the ramadan effigy?

It's not inventory. It's
my personal collection.

Oh, huh.
Aren't you Mr. dicey semantics?

So, what? You think you can
just take anything you want?

- Give it!
- No, you give it!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Okay, when I'm marveling at
the immaturity, be scared.

Anya, giles is gonna leave the
store to you when he goes.

What more do you want?

I'm not leaving
the store to anyone.

I'm going to england. I'm not dead.
I'm still a partner.

A silent overseas partner.

Who you should be very nice to unless you
want to end up working at video hut.

What are you doing?
What kind of gratitude is that?

I know.

It's just... He keeps saying
he's going, and then he doesn't.

And I keep almost being in
charge, but then I'm not.

And maybe he shouldn't
even be going at all.

But we can't talk about that,
and it all just leaves me...

With this stress and bossiness
stored up, and it just leaks out.

Just give it time, an.
This is hard for all of us.

Just be patient.

I was being patient,
but it took too long.

I mean, I... I miss Buffy.

I do, but life shouldn't just
stop because she's gone.

I'm sick of waiting
to take over here,

and I'm sick of waiting to
tell everyone about us.

We've talked about this.

We can't announce our engagement
while things are so up in the air.

Why not?
It's happy news.

Happy news in hard times
is a good thing.

It is.
But let's just hold on.

We'll know more after we talk
to Willow and Tara tonight.

Fine. Whatever.
Just remember that...

This whole marriage thing
was your stupid idea.

I didn't ask to be all crazy.

So my homeroom teacher,
Ms. lefcourt, was, like,

"your sister's
an example to us all."

She wanted to make it
national Buffy day.

- Makes sense.
- It does?

Yeah, she responded to buffybot
because a robot is predictable.

It's boring.
A perfect teacher's pet.

That's all schools are,
you know.

Just factories spewing out
mindless little automatons...

Who go on to be very valuable...

And productive members of
society, and you should go...

Because Buffy would want you to.

Check. One mindless
automaton coming up.

So, uh, what do you fancy, bit?
A game of rummy?

Well, um, Willow and Tara
said they'd be back early.

You don't really have to hang.
I mean, if you're bored.

I'm not, and, yeah, I do.

But I'm fine alone. It's not
like anyone's coming after me.

I'm not the key.

Or if I am, I don't
open anything anymore.

It's over. Remember?

I'm not leaving you here
by yourself, so forget it.

Well, I'm just saying...

No.

I'm not leaving you to get hurt.

Not again.

Aah!

Don't be scared.

- I'm going to kill him.
- Slayer!

You can run away now.

Not you!

You're... you're...
You're a machine!

Thank you!
Stop!

Vampires, beware.

The urn of osiris.

- You really found it.
- Yeah.

It wasn't easy. I went through
every supplier the magic box has.

You used a magic box supplier?

What if giles finds out?

He's too busy not leaving
to pay attention to me.

Besides, I ended up
getting it on ebay.

You found the last known
urn of osiris on ebay?

Yeah, from this
desert gnome in Cairo.

He drove a really hard bargain, but
I finally got him to throw in...

A limited edition
backstreet boys lunch box for...

A friend.

See you got your somber on, wil.
Is the urn not up to spec?

It's the one,
which means it's time.

It's time?
Like, "time" time?

With the... timeliness?

Are you sure?

- I am.
- Mercury's in retrograde,

and we have...

Do we have everything?
Just about.

But why the sudden rushy-rush? I mean,
did the bot blow her cover at school?

No, she did great. She
impressed all the teachers.

And they still thought
it was Buffy?

- Tomorrow night, we'll meet back here.
- Whoa!

Let's apply the brakes and check the
rear and side-view mirrors here.

This is deep stuff, Willow.

We're talking
about raising the dead.

It's time we stopped talking.

Tomorrow night,
we're bringing Buffy back.

Tomorrow?

I don't know.

Discovery channel has monkeys, and
our tape machine's all wonky.

Guys, I need you on board here.

It's just... it feels wrong.

It is wrong.

It's against all
the laws of nature...

And practically impossible to
do, but it's what we agreed to.

If-if you guys are
changing your minds...

Nobody's changing
their minds, period.

Excuse me? Who made you
the boss of the group?

- You did.
- You said Willow should be boss.

And then you said let's vote,
and it was unanimous.

And you made her this little
plaque that said "boss of us,"

and you put little sparkles
on it and... valid points all.

But we... I mean...

We were just talking then.

Xander, I can do this.
I promise.

But not without you.

Should we maybe tell giles? You
know, now that we're really ready.

It's not like he's going anywhere...
Ever.

No. No one else
can know.

Not giles, not spike, not dawn.

They might not understand.

What if something does go wrong?

I'm telling you... it won't.

Scenario...

We raise Buffy from the grave.

She tries to eat our brains.

Do we, "a," congratulate
ourselves on a job well-done...

Xander, this isn't zombies.

And zombies don't eat brains anyway, unless
instructed to by their zombie masters.

- A lot of people get that wrong.
- This isn't like...

Dawn trying to bring Mrs. summers back
or anything we've dealt with before.

Buffy didn't die
a natural death.

She was killed
by mystical energy.

Which means we do have a shot.

It means more than that.

It means we don't know
where she really is.

We saw her body, wil.

We buried it.

Her body, yeah.

But her soul?
Her essence?

I mean, that could be somewhere else.
She could be trapped...

In some sort of hell dimension
like angel was,

suffering eternal torment
just because she saved us.

And I'm not gonna let her...

I'm not gonna leave her there.

It's Buffy.

What time do we meet?

- Willow!
- What happened? Where's dawn?

Upstairs in bed.
But the bot here...

Seems to have got into a scrape
while she was on patrol.

I think my feet are broken.

Looks more like a short
in the navigational system.

Can you get me a flashlight?
It's in the, uh, kitchen.

She wanted to go out
and look for you again,

but I figured there were enough things
in sunnydale that go bump in the night.

Good thinking.

But my homing device locates you when I'm
injured. I am programmed to go to you.

Right, I know. Still, I
think just this once...

It was a good idea to stay put.

Spike was right.

Sorry I questioned you, spike.

You know I admire your brain almost
as much as your washboard abs.

- I told you to make her stop doing that.
- I did.

I mean, I thought I got all
that stuff out of the program.

Well, you've got her
opened up. Fix it.

Sure. I mean, I have a lot of work
here, but I'll see what I can do.

Can you shine the flashlight
right here?

Spike?

Did I say something wrong?

No.
It's not your fault.

I think spike stopped liking me.

That's not true.
He thinks you're swell.

Then how come he never looks at me anymore?
Even when he's talking to me.

He just gets cranky,
the way vampires do.

Now just relax. I am gonna
make you good as new.

I promise.

That was splendid.
Now, try it again.

Only this time,
remember your breathing.

No, that's good, but, uh,

think of the breath as chi,
air as a life source.

I don't require oxygen to live.

Of course, strictly
speaking, but... Uh...

Maybe you should stick
to the standard drill.

You know, you don't want her
to blow another gasket.

I'm testing her responses
after her injury.

I see no harm in imparting
a little eastern philosophy.

Well, I just think
that the concept of chi...

Might be a little, you know,
hard for her to grasp.

You know,
she's not the descendant...

Of a long line
of mystical warriors.

She's the descendant
of a toaster oven.

Yes, well, I appreciate
your input, Anya,

but I think buffybot has responded
nicely to our sessions.

Well, you're the boss.

Still.

Would you like to test me again?

No. Perhaps
we should call it a day.

Your... your responses are fine.

Well, perhaps Anya's right.

Perhaps I am trying to teach
you as if you were a... human?

- Yes.
- I like your teachings.

Every slayer needs her watcher.

I'm not so sure about that.

- What do you mean?
- Nothing.

I just can't help
but wonder if...

She would have been better
off without me... Buffy.

I don't think that's true.
You were very helpful to her.

Right. Yes,
I was a perfect watcher.

I did what any
good watcher would do...

Got my slayer killed
in the line of duty.

- Oh, that wasn't your fault.
- Of course not.

That's how all slayer/watcher
relationships end, isn't it?

She's gone.
I did my job.

Then why are you still here?

♪♪

So I got her cornered
in this alley, see?

You got the slayer cornered?

Yeah. I figured
it's my duty.

She's a menace to our society.

So we fight, and I'm,
like, boom, boom, boom!

And I got her on the ropes...

You're lying to me.

I swear on all that's unholy. You
haven't even heard the best part.

I cut her, right?
And she's...

I don't know,
some kind of machine.

She's not human.

Hey, hey, hey!

What's with the blood rat?

Talk!
Okay.

Uh, so, I was over in sunnydale,

minding my own beeswax,
when I see the slayer...

The part about the robot.
We fought, right?

And I was, like, all over her.
Boom! Boom!

He says the slayer's been replaced...
Boom! Boom!

By some kind of machine.

A robot, yeah. And I
kicked her synthetic ass.

You should have seen the sparks.

You telling me there's
no slayer in sunnydale?

That's what I'm saying. They got some
kind of decoy standing in for her.

Town is wide open. Nowhere like
the hellmouth for a party.

There's all kinds
of bad in that place.

I guess with your muscle, you could
own it in no time. Hey, look.

I know you guys don't usually
let vampires join the gang,

and I got the whole
sunlight issue.

But I was thinking, you know.
As thanks for the 4-1-1,

you could let me
throw in with you...

I'll think it over.

Let's ride!

♪♪

The gods do command thee
from thy majesty.

Come forward, blessed one.
Know your calling.

Come forward, blessed one.

Accept our humble gratitude
for your offering.

In death,

you give life.

May you find wings
to the kingdom.

Hey.
You're late.

Oh. I, uh,
had to get that thing.

Giles isn't around.
You can dump the cryptic.

The last spell ingredient.

Okay, right. What is
vino de madre anyway?

Wine of the mother.
Kind of black market stuff.

Black market?
You didn't tell me that.

You shouldn't have gone alone.
It could have been dangerous.

Sorry. I didn't...
I was careful.

Well, it must be
something pretty intense.

The black market's all baby
teeth and spooky fluids.

All I know is we have to have
it to finish the spell, so...

It's good stuff in my book.

How come you guys
are here, anyway?

I thought we weren't gonna meet till later.
Uh, well, we weren't.

It just felt weird
hanging out on our own.

It's better if we stay together.

Ah, you got butterflies, baby?
More like bats.

Y-you wanna look at the money?

I find it always calms me.

That's okay. Thanks.

Baby, tell those bats that
everything is gonna be all right.

I promise. We couldn't
be more prepared.

I know. I just wish
it was time.

I can't stand worrying
about it anymore.

Well, it's your lucky day then. I have
something that will distract you.

What?
"I've gone.

"Not one for good-byes, I thought
it best to slip out quietly.

Love to you all, giles."

You really think we'd
let you get away with that?

I was trying to avoid
a scene, really.

Like we'd make a scene.

Not you. Me.

Um... we, uh, brought you
some lovely parting gifts.

Get it? Apple pie?

A-and a monster, sort of a
sunnydale souvenir, we thought.

Grr! Arrgh!

We got your presents
at the gas station.

We were kind of in a hurry.

Um, we made this in the car.

It's why the letters
are all shaky.

This is, uh,

impossible, really.

We just wanted you to know
that we'll miss you.

We'll be okay.

We'll miss you,
but we'll be okay.

I'll take really good care
of your money.

Yes, I have no doubt.

Attention passengers,
flight 3982,

leaving for Los Angeles and continuing
to London, rows 20 through 30...

- That's me.
- Now?

- We just made it.
- Just, yes.

Well, look, if we're gonna do
this, let's do it properly.

I'm just a phone call away...

If you need anything.

You must promise me.

I do. I promise.

Willow, I don't know
where to start.

Well, maybe you shouldn't.

I'm trying to be
stiff-upper-lippy.

Right, right.

Well, you should get going. Don't
you have a life or something?

Um, I suppose
that's the question, really.

Just, uh,

be careful, please.

What's he gonna do
over there by himself?

I mean, he never talks
about people from england.

What if he's lonely?
He won't be lonely.

He used to live there
before, remember?

And I'm sure we'll talk to him
all the time, right?

It's not like he's...

We'll call him tomorrow, how about that?
See how his flight was. Yeah?

Can you believe the timing?
I mean, he's leaving...

Right when we're ready to...
Do the thing tonight.

I know. I had hoped we'd figure
it out before he, uh, he left.

Maybe we should have told him.
I mean, what if it works?

He'll come back.

We should get dawn home. I want to
go over everything one more time.

Nothing can go wrong tonight.

Does everybody have
their candles?

I'm trying.
My lighter won't stay lit.

- Well, hurry. It has to...
What time is it?

A minute till midnight.

Come on, Anya.
Do you have it?

I got it.
I got it. I got it.

Okay, start the circle now.

Osiris, keeper of the gate,

master of all fate, hear us.

Before time and after,

before knowing and nothing.

Accept our offering.

Know our prayer.

- Willow!
- No!

She told me she'd be tested. This...
this is what's supposed to happen.

Osiris,

here lies the warrior
of the people.

Let her cross over.

Willow?

- She needs help.
- Xander, she's strong.

She said not to stop,
no matter what.

If we break the cycle now,
it's over.

Oh, god.
What is that noise?

Osiris, let her cross over.

Willow!

Willow? Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

It's a test.
It's a test.

Willow.

That doesn't belong to you.

Put it back.

Slayer. I've been hearing
interesting things about you.

Yes. I am interesting.

These your friends?

They're my boys, yeah.

Good. Now tell them to get
back on their loud bicycles...

And go back wherever
they came from.

Or what, you'll electrocute us?

Hold her!

You're nothing but a toy,

a pretty toy.

Wanna play?

I would, but you've injured me.
I have to return to Willow.

Get her!

Stop her!

Ride!

Osiris, release her.

Willow, I need service.

Oh!

Willow!

No!

Willow!

Look what I found!

Take off!
Go! Go!

Anya!

Willow.

Willow. Are you okay?
Did it work?

I'm sorry.

Grr! Arrgh!