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Previously on
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce...
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00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:05,870
I am gonna give you
the younger man experience.
3
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:06,905
How do I get a hold of you?
4
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,406
Let's just let it happen.
5
00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:10,825
What?
What does that even mean?
6
00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:13,161
Abby saw you
kissing the Euro hubby
7
00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:14,746
at school the other day.
8
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,915
I'm actually trying
to help save Vika's marriage.
9
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,634
What are the therapeutic
qualities of your vagina?
10
00:00:19,636 --> 00:00:21,720
I think we should come out
to the world.
11
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,506
Can't it just be our fantasy
for a little bit longer?
12
00:00:24,508 --> 00:00:26,007
Yeah, that's fine.
13
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,425
You have no idea
what's happening with Vika.
14
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,927
You have no idea
what's going on with me.
15
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,311
At least I'm not home-wrecking.
16
00:00:30,313 --> 00:00:32,063
How about your home, Lyla?
How about you?
17
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,932
Dan is possibly going
to take my children away.
18
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,316
I'm sorry.
19
00:00:35,318 --> 00:00:36,985
You've lost your street cred
in the mommy wars.
20
00:00:36,987 --> 00:00:38,353
I'm sorry, but we think
21
00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:39,988
the Girlfriends' Guide franchise
is dead.
22
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,356
Dead?
23
00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:47,980
_
24
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,450
Lily!
25
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,386
If you are not downstairs
in two minutes,
26
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,837
we are driving away without you.
27
00:00:55,839 --> 00:00:58,706
I'm coming. God.
28
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:03,429
[Phone ringing]
29
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:05,713
Missy.
30
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:07,966
- Back Burner Baby.- What?
31
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,385
It's the thing
in the mommy market right now,
32
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:11,770
blazing up the charts.
33
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,522
Okay.
Hey, can I call you back?
34
00:01:14,524 --> 00:01:16,775
Cleo Stevens
is a real inspiration.
35
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:20,028
Take a look to see what's
selling for your next thing.
36
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,146
Great. I got to go.
37
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,363
Okay, okay, I got it. Bye.
38
00:01:22,365 --> 00:01:23,948
Hey, what now?
39
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,617
- Gym bag.
- Seriously?
40
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,986
Every morning, you forget.
41
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,120
I'm leaving.
42
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,744
-
Hello, what's going on...
- You're gonna need...[Bleep].
43
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:38,496
You need at least a 50 SPF.
44
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,665
Why can't you just go?
45
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,500
Because I am not the one
who forgot her sunscreen.
46
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,886
- Mom, we're gonna be late.
- Okay, fine.
47
00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:46,504
I need money.
48
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:49,841
You're gonna
have to use my credit card.
49
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,343
- What if they ask me for I.D.?
- Come on!
50
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:54,896
I'll do it myself.
51
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:59,684
Promise the best
is yet to come
52
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,437
You know anything over SPF 30
is overkill.
53
00:02:05,108 --> 00:02:06,741
Hi.
54
00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:08,076
Oh
55
00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:10,528
So I can prove
that I'm the one
56
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,582
I'll prove that I'm the one
Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:12,582 --> 00:02:15,533
I'll prove that I'm the one, prove
Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,335
Will, wow.
Hi.
59
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,670
What are you doing here?
60
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,206
You know, just dispensing
free sunscreen advice.
61
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,175
And an emergency milk stop.
62
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:27,712
Yes, growing boy,
building bones.
63
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,264
Totally dumb.
64
00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,216
All right.
65
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,718
No, my apartment's just
around the corner from here.
66
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,721
But wait.
You would remember that.
67
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,189
- Yeah, right.
- Right.
68
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,724
Was this kind of
what you had in mind
69
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,026
when you said
just let it happen?
70
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,561
'Cause you know I'm gonna ask
for your number again.
71
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:44,729
[Cell phone chimes]
72
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,198
Um, sorry,
kids are waiting in the car.
73
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,449
I got to go.
Okay, I tell you what.
74
00:02:48,451 --> 00:02:50,785
You give me a call.
I'll give it to you.
75
00:02:50,787 --> 00:02:54,205
323-555-0127.
76
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,124
- 01-what?
- 27.
77
00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:57,408
27, yes.
78
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,911
One year younger than you are.
79
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,129
You know,
this whole age thing,
80
00:03:01,131 --> 00:03:02,413
it doesn't matter to me.
81
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,915
- It's just--
- Totally kidding. [Laughs]
82
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,250
Um...
[Phone rings]
83
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,669
Ugh!
My daughter.
84
00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:10,638
Ugh.
Um...
85
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,590
It was great seeing you.
86
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,592
You too.
87
00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,180
Call me, Abby McCarthy.
88
00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:20,982
The best is yet to come
89
00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:22,150
Oh, sorry.
90
00:03:22,152 --> 00:03:26,487
Oh, please tell me
the truth
91
00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:28,740
When will the two of us
be one?
92
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,024
It's a nightmare.
93
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:31,192
My mom wants to be here
the whole week
94
00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:32,443
'cause it's Spencer's birthday,
95
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:34,078
and Eric is still
getting bullied at school.
96
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,246
Oh, the bullying?
97
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:36,781
Yes, he's gonna
keep getting bullied
98
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,500
if he uses that rolly bag
to put his books and stuff in.
99
00:03:39,502 --> 00:03:41,953
It's actually luggage.
It's a rolling house.
100
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,004
Yeah, it makes him a target.
101
00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,706
He brings it
from class to class.
102
00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:47,125
And to make matters worse,
103
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,626
the case worker's
coming tonight.
104
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,844
- That's tonight?
- Yes.
105
00:03:49,846 --> 00:03:51,095
Ugh!
106
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,047
So we have
some court-appointed minion
107
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:56,134
who's overworked and underpaid
who's gonna come to my home,
108
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,636
watch me interact with my kids
to see if I'm fit.
109
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:01,356
And all the while, my mom
gets to be a witness to it.
110
00:04:01,358 --> 00:04:03,391
Ugh!
111
00:04:03,393 --> 00:04:04,475
[Sighs]
112
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,777
Maybe it's a good thing.
113
00:04:07,364 --> 00:04:09,113
Are you talking to me?
114
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,231
I thought
you weren't talking to me.
115
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,649
- Oh, my God.
- I'm so sorry.
116
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,067
I feel so awful
about the other night.
117
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,202
I know you're under a lot
of stress.
118
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:15,286
I shouldn't have gone off
on you.
119
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,738
I am so sorry.
120
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:18,539
- I love you.
- I love you too.
121
00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:19,907
I mean, I have to be honest;
I'm not sorry,
122
00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:21,125
'cause I feel
you were in the wrong.
123
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,794
- But I love you.
- Okay.
124
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,045
- Oh!
- Okay.
125
00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,830
- Whoo!
- Now, about Will.
126
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,465
That's really
what I want to know.
127
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,084
I--I'm not gonna call.
128
00:04:30,086 --> 00:04:31,636
I am literally old enough
to be his mother.
129
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,171
Why not? That is fate.
130
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,673
- It's not appropriate.
- No, that's just cultural bias.
131
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,142
If the genders were reversed,
you'd be parading him around.
132
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:40,178
Yes, like Jake does
with Becca, which,
133
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:44,816
in my opinion, seems sad
and desperate and mid-lifey.
134
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,143
[Cell phone chimes]
135
00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:47,518
Ugh!
_
136
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,021
Please don't tell me
it's sad-in-the-sack Nate.
137
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,324
No, it's Melissa
sending me more stuff
138
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,610
on that new author,
Cleo Stevens,
139
00:04:55,612 --> 00:04:57,695
'cause she wants me to study up
on her marketing savvy.
140
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,364
That's annoying.
That's very annoying.
141
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,865
And the book is ridiculous.
142
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,583
It basically advocates
child neglect
143
00:05:02,585 --> 00:05:05,203
so the parents can drink
and have more sex.
144
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:10,208
Well, on that,
she and I agree a little bit.
145
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,093
You would say that, 'cause
you're screwing a married man.
146
00:05:12,095 --> 00:05:13,845
I'm totally kidding.
I don't give a shit at all.
147
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,380
It doesn't bother me.
148
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,686
- And his wife.
- Uh, what?
149
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,938
- At the same time.
- Come again?
150
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,557
And again and again
151
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:27,809
and again.
152
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:29,694
It's insane.
153
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:30,778
We are together.
154
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:35,233
Me and Vika and Merete
are together.
155
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,201
I was gonna tell you before,
but it's complicated.
156
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:38,486
When you say "together,"
what does that--
157
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:39,620
We are in a relationship.
158
00:05:39,622 --> 00:05:41,039
It's not just about the sex part
of it.
159
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,824
I mean, we go out, and we talk.
160
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:43,991
But the heavy stuff,
161
00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:46,244
the--the conflict,
the possessiveness,
162
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,829
the--the drama--
163
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:49,330
You mean like
when you're in a relationship?
164
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:52,250
Yes, the part
of the relationship that sucks?
165
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,334
I don't have to deal with it,
166
00:05:53,336 --> 00:05:55,336
because they have each other
for that.
167
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:57,922
I'm with them,
but I'm not obligated to them.
168
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,257
- Do you know what I'm saying?
- I do not.
169
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,259
You're processing.
I totally understand that.
170
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:05,313
Merete actually has a piece
at an art opening tonight.
171
00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:09,016
She's really talented,
and maybe you can drop by.
172
00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:10,485
It sounds super awkward.
173
00:06:10,487 --> 00:06:12,520
- No.
- [Laughs]
174
00:06:12,522 --> 00:06:15,857
[Cell phone buzzes]
Ooh, what the-aw, no.
175
00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,108
My mom is here.
176
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,826
- Oh.
- And she wants to meet you.
177
00:06:18,828 --> 00:06:20,278
She's a nightmare. There she is.
178
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,863
- Sweetie.
- Hello. Hello.
179
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:23,948
Oh, you look so pretty.
180
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:24,999
- Hi.
- Hi.
181
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:26,250
Okay, this is Abby.
182
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,418
This is my mother, Annie.
183
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,536
I just had to come by.
184
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:30,288
Lyla says such great things
about you.
185
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:34,509
And Phoebe, even more stunning
than I imagined.
186
00:06:34,511 --> 00:06:36,627
I'm just gonna go freshen up,
187
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:37,962
and I'll be right back.
188
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,380
Bathroom's over there.
Do you want anything?
189
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,632
N-no, I'm not gonna be
staying long.
190
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,504
Do you see?
191
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:48,856
She's a nightmare.
192
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,810
I mean,
exhibit "A," right?
193
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:55,396
It's a nightmare.
194
00:07:03,606 --> 00:07:05,072
[Knocking at door]
Hi.
195
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:07,441
Hey, I've been looking
for you. You have a sec?
196
00:07:07,443 --> 00:07:09,243
Yeah, come on in.
197
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,280
Closing the door.
198
00:07:13,282 --> 00:07:14,699
Am I in trouble?
199
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,701
You know I think the world
of you.
200
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,836
Oh, yes, I'm in trouble.
201
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:21,839
It's just, we got another
grievance complaint against you.
202
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,874
Delia? Come on.
203
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,593
You know I can't say.
204
00:07:25,595 --> 00:07:27,378
But no, it wasn't her.
205
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,180
Lyla, come on,
you've been through, what,
206
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,549
six assistants
in the last four months?
207
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,217
It's not my fault
208
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:36,721
that the Ivies are allowing
idiots to matriculate.
209
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,856
Could you listen to me,
please, for a second?
210
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,224
Yes, yes, yes.
211
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:43,144
Lyla at 70% enraged
is a great attorney
212
00:07:43,146 --> 00:07:45,613
and an asset to this firm,
but you are way beyond that,
213
00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:48,315
and it's not good for anybody.
214
00:07:48,317 --> 00:07:52,570
Admittedly, I've been
going through a lot, but I--
215
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,071
Yes, I know that.
I know that.
216
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,824
And to that end,
some of the partners are talking
217
00:07:56,826 --> 00:08:01,045
about you taking a leave
of absence to decompress.
218
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,747
- Am I being fired?
- No.
219
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:06,801
God, no.
Just--you need some perspective.
220
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,219
You mean the world to me,
221
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,004
but you're making enemies
left and right,
222
00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:11,922
and it's not good,
223
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:15,726
not for you
and not for the firm.
224
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,549
Thank you.
225
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,601
Yeah.
226
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,106
Okay, okay, fine.
How about this?
227
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,941
I will take
the walnut bookshelves
228
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:33,077
if you will hold
onto the leather chair
229
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,195
we got at the Rose Bowl.
230
00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:36,280
No way.
I never wanted that awful thing.
231
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,615
It smells.
232
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:40,034
It's comfortable,
and it has vintage charm.
233
00:08:40,036 --> 00:08:41,535
You love it, then.
It's yours.
234
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:43,254
Sold to blue.
235
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,623
Wow.
236
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,341
Aha, here she is.
237
00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:48,959
Why are there post-its
everywhere?
238
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,846
Your dad came early so we
can start sorting through stuff
239
00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:54,799
so he can have some real
furniture at his place.
240
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,801
Class up the Paradiso.
241
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:59,103
Hi.
242
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,971
What are the colors for?
243
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,356
Charlie?
244
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,808
We went gender normative.
245
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,726
The pink is for the things
that I'm keeping,
246
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:08,028
and the blue is for things
that Dad's taking,
247
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:13,317
and the yellow are for things
that we can't decide on.
248
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,236
Oh, Dad's taking
the smelly chair?
249
00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:16,487
- Maybe.
- Yes.
250
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,322
No, but it belongs here.
He can't do that.
251
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,825
She has a point.
252
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,043
But when it's at my place,
253
00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:26,664
you'll still be able to see it
and sit on it and smell it.
254
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,550
It's not funny.
It's supposed to be here.
255
00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,051
God, this is so stupid.
256
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:33,337
Lily--
257
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,889
I guess I'm blue this weekend.
258
00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:38,309
No, Lily.
259
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:41,061
She's been really testing
the boundaries lately.
260
00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:42,930
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
261
00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:45,099
And you have to come down hard
when she starts.
262
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,150
Message received.
263
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,184
And if anything happens
264
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,819
or if you need me,
just call me.
265
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,187
Abby, enough.
266
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,689
When I have the kids,
you're off the clock,
267
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,575
so just go enjoy yourself, okay?
268
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:55,826
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey, buddy.
269
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:58,112
Come on.
270
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,363
Ready?
271
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,368
It looks weird in here.
272
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,203
Yeah.
273
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,206
Go on.
274
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,541
Relax. I got it.
275
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,510
- Come on, Dad.
- Hey.
276
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,794
"Relax."
277
00:10:22,418 --> 00:10:24,918
_
278
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,221
[Traditional
Japanese music playing]
279
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:45,092
280
00:10:45,094 --> 00:10:47,812
[Whispering, laughing]
281
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,347
Hi.
282
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,649
Oh, Lyla, perfect timing.
283
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,484
[Speaking Japanese]
Mommy.
284
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,102
Oh, yes.
Hi, hello.
285
00:10:55,104 --> 00:10:58,022
Look at you.
Look at you.
286
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,523
I thought we were
gonna keep things simple.
287
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,891
It's simple.
288
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,943
It's little--couple
of lanterns, hand-rolled Sushi.
289
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:04,161
This is serious.
290
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,446
The case worker's gonna
be here any minute.
291
00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:08,616
I made your favorite,
rock shrimp tempura.
292
00:11:08,618 --> 00:11:11,369
It's so good, mama.
Try it.
293
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,071
Okay. Can you just
take the costume off?
294
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,873
It's an authentic kimono.
295
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,925
I really need you all
to take the costumes off.
296
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,044
And what's going on
over here?
297
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,546
Oh, yeah,
I saw all these school papers
298
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:23,798
just lying around,
299
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,134
so I thought that
I would help you get organized.
300
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:29,804
You're taking cookies to school
tomorrow for the bake sale,
301
00:11:29,806 --> 00:11:34,058
so I made my oatmeal
chocolate chip, okay?
302
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,142
No, it's not really okay.
303
00:11:35,144 --> 00:11:36,861
I knew that.
I was gonna make cookies.
304
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,362
I wanted to make cookies.
305
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,231
Oh, she's here.
306
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,366
Take 'em off,
and then when you come back,
307
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,068
we're gonna have a normal family
dinner just like always,
308
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,286
except we're not gonna watch TV.
309
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,570
We're gonna talk
to each other and have a--
310
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:49,290
A really enjoyable time.
311
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,041
Hi. I'm Lyla.
312
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,159
Donna.
313
00:11:52,161 --> 00:11:53,911
Donna, this is my mother,
Annie.
314
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,045
Annie, this is Donna.
315
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,497
Ah.
316
00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,916
[Speaking Japanese]
317
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:14,265
Hey, did you finish
your homework?
318
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,683
- Yeah.
- Really?
319
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:18,185
All 2,000 words on how
Lord Of The Flies was inspired
320
00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:21,238
by William Goldman's experiences
in World War II?
321
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,607
William Golding.
322
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,276
That's what I said.
323
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,111
Plus I did some extra credit
in French.
324
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:30,197
Mm.
[Speaking French].
325
00:12:30,199 --> 00:12:32,950
- Oh, okay.
- I have to go call Jade.
326
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,668
She's totally freaking out
'cause her mom
327
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,287
won't let her wear mascara
to school.
328
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,955
It's so retarded.
329
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,260
[Sports game playing
on TV]
330
00:12:49,552 --> 00:12:51,969
What do kids have
for dessert?
331
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,104
Ice cream?
332
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,689
You know that one.
I like that one a lot.
333
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:56,891
So is everybody okay?
334
00:12:56,893 --> 00:12:58,726
Lyla,
you really outdid yourself.
335
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,811
This looks--
It looks so delicious.
336
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:02,613
I hope you didn't go
out of your way.
337
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,983
No, we like to do this kind
of thing a lot, right?
338
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,785
You know, a Sushi fest.
339
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,704
[Sighs]
Um...
340
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:14,325
I know it's jarring having
a case worker in your home,
341
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,543
but just try to relax
342
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,745
and treat this dinner
like any other, okay?
343
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:18,913
Of course.
344
00:13:18,915 --> 00:13:20,998
Okay, so what can I get you?
345
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,132
I'm celiac.
346
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,468
Is there gluten in the rice?
347
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,554
Yes, yes,
there's gluten in rice.
348
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,255
That must be very hard for you.
349
00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:30,391
Okay.
[Sighs]
350
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:33,344
Um...
351
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,846
Oh, this is good.
352
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,648
Toot-toot.
353
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,197
Oh, my God,
do you look fabulous.
354
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:56,367
- Thank you.
- I love this dress. Gorgeous.
355
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,953
Thank you. I--I'm going
to a club later.
356
00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:00,588
- I'm hanging out.
- Oh.
357
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,875
Did--did Phoebe
invite you to her big debut?
358
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:06,760
Are you kidding me?
I invited myself.
359
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,512
This I had to see.
360
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,347
Yeah.
361
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,049
Just no divorce lawyer
talk tonight, okay?
362
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,051
I'm taking the night off.
363
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,135
Oh, of course.
364
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:16,520
Oh, you haven't
gotten back to me
365
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,938
about the forensic accounting.
366
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,057
Oh, I--sorry,
I just keep forgetting.
367
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,609
No, you're not forgetting.
You're resisting.
368
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,027
- You're talking about it.
- Sorry.
369
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,062
- Fine. Punching out.
- Thank you.
370
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,564
Speaking of,
where is Miss Lyla?
371
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,866
She is busy tonight.
372
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,401
Her mom is here, and--
373
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,569
- Oh.
- Hi.
374
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,537
- Ladies, hi.
- Hi.
375
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,790
Delia, I don't think
you've met Vika and Merete.
376
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,709
- You know Abby.
- Hi, nice to see you.
377
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,327
- Delia, Merete.
- Hi, Delia.
378
00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:42,663
I feel like I know you
so much better.
379
00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:44,381
We're so glad
that you came tonight.
380
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:47,918
We were worried that not
everyone would be so accepting.
381
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,890
Yes, coming out can be hard.
382
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,842
Yes.
383
00:14:56,512 --> 00:14:58,262
- Yeah, well--
- I think it's great.
384
00:14:58,264 --> 00:14:59,346
Yeah. Congratulations.
385
00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:00,764
Whatever floats your boat.
386
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,766
We just feel very lucky to
have met such an amazing woman.
387
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:05,402
- Thank you.
- She is amazing.
388
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,572
So we'll have one more drink
here,
389
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,941
then take you
on a little adventure.
390
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,192
Oh, my God, I love adventures.
391
00:15:12,194 --> 00:15:14,445
- You know me so well already.
- Okay.
392
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,829
We'll be back.
393
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,114
Okay.
394
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,332
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
395
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,951
Bye.
396
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,786
Oh, my God.
397
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,205
That cannot possibly work.
398
00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:26,957
It beyond works.
399
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,592
I mean, isn't it too much?
400
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,794
That's, like,
double the emotional needs.
401
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,296
Yeah, but they take care
of my needs,
402
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,430
and then they take care
of each other's needs,
403
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,848
so I'm totally supported.
404
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,433
- It's amazing.
- Wait, wait.
405
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,135
What about the sex?
406
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,470
One train, two tunnels
407
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,188
sounds like a serious
supply-and-demand issue.
408
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,556
- Yes, yes.
- Very good question.
409
00:15:42,558 --> 00:15:45,976
It's not all about P.I.V.
410
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,228
Penis in vagina.
411
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,563
With three people,
412
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:52,032
there are exponentially
more ways to get off,
413
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,568
like T.I.V.
414
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:57,655
- Okay.
- There's V.O.V.
415
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,822
All right.
416
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:02,576
And then, of course,
my favorite, P.I.B.
417
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:05,913
Just don't knock it
till you've tried it, okay?
418
00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:08,132
Bye.
419
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,634
- V.O.V.
- it's TMI.
420
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,002
I agree.
421
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,722
[Both laugh]
422
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:24,598
I think you need
some soy sauce.
423
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,016
- Oh!
- Mom!
424
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,401
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
425
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,853
California water tables
have dropped to record lows.
426
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,989
I know.
He's very socially conscious.
427
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,357
We're really proud of him,
but--
428
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,409
It's okay.
Aaron, take a breath.
429
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,361
And just think about
the hydrological cycle.
430
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:38,829
- No, no.
- No, Grammy.
431
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,531
The hydrocycle,
the evaporation
432
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,949
of 200 extra gallons of water.
433
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,839
[Sighs]
434
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,790
Would you like some sake?
435
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,292
Gluten.
436
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:03,637
Stella! Would you quit
that howling down there?
437
00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:06,023
- Dad?
- Mm, it's okay.
438
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,142
It's just--it's Mr. Rosenberg's
acting class again.
439
00:17:09,144 --> 00:17:11,812
Kowalski, quiet!
440
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:13,146
Sorry, buddy.
441
00:17:13,148 --> 00:17:15,198
It sounded like someone
was getting murdered.
442
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,734
Yeah, Tennessee Williams,
I believe.
443
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:21,989
I never felt the way I do.
444
00:17:21,991 --> 00:17:24,241
Rosenberg, seriously!
445
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,332
Lily.
446
00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:34,751
[Knocking at door]
447
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,219
Lily.
448
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,504
Lils?
[Snoring]
449
00:17:37,506 --> 00:17:40,724
Are you asleep already?
450
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,644
[Snoring]
451
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,080
Oh, shit.
452
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:55,727
Okay, well,
if you do hear anything, you--
453
00:17:55,729 --> 00:17:57,028
Right.
454
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,613
No, actually,
that's my wife's cell.
455
00:17:58,615 --> 00:18:00,482
If you could call this number--
456
00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:01,649
Okay, thank you.
457
00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:02,601
Bye.
458
00:18:02,653 --> 00:18:03,735
You get anything?
459
00:18:03,737 --> 00:18:05,070
Not yet. I'm--
460
00:18:05,072 --> 00:18:06,204
I checked Facebook and Twitter,
461
00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,789
and I'm on Instagram now, but--
462
00:18:07,791 --> 00:18:10,075
And that's all the parents
of the kids she's friends with
463
00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:12,577
and nothing, so...
464
00:18:12,579 --> 00:18:14,246
You got to call Abby.
465
00:18:14,248 --> 00:18:15,747
I don't know.
I don't want to freak her out.
466
00:18:15,749 --> 00:18:16,798
I mean, you know what she's
like.
467
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,833
Come on.
Let's just keep going.
468
00:18:18,835 --> 00:18:21,586
Jake, call her.
469
00:18:21,588 --> 00:18:25,140
I will call her after I call
all the parents of the kids
470
00:18:25,142 --> 00:18:27,058
Lily's not friends with.
471
00:18:28,562 --> 00:18:29,895
Hi, Vicki?
472
00:18:29,897 --> 00:18:31,096
Yeah, hi, this is Jake Novak.
473
00:18:31,098 --> 00:18:32,098
I'm Lily's dad.
474
00:18:32,099 --> 00:18:36,017
[Techno music blaring]
475
00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:39,771
You know how
to do it right
476
00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:43,575
Sometimes I think
you see right through me
477
00:18:43,577 --> 00:18:46,861
You know
what's on my mind
478
00:18:46,863 --> 00:18:48,863
- Little less crazy down here.
- Yeah.
479
00:18:48,865 --> 00:18:50,115
What are you drinking?
480
00:18:50,117 --> 00:18:51,700
Like, a vodka tonic, or--
481
00:18:51,702 --> 00:18:52,784
Oh, sorry.
482
00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:56,421
Can I get a beer
and vodka tonic?
483
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:57,789
So this is just the opening act.
484
00:18:57,791 --> 00:18:59,874
The band is amazing.
Okay.
485
00:18:59,876 --> 00:19:02,043
Back in my day,
we called that a DJ.
486
00:19:02,045 --> 00:19:04,596
Oh, you mean the guy
in the little booth--
487
00:19:04,598 --> 00:19:06,131
Both: Off to the side.
- Yeah.
488
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,465
Now, I, like--
489
00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:10,135
People packed auditoriums
to watch guys play vinyl.
490
00:19:10,137 --> 00:19:13,805
Yes. Those crazy kids.
491
00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:15,724
Thank you.
492
00:19:19,563 --> 00:19:22,948
I hope--do you want
to just get out of here
493
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,283
and go to a restaurant
where we can talk?
494
00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:26,484
I thought this might be fun
for you,
495
00:19:26,486 --> 00:19:28,203
a little something different,
496
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:29,404
and I'm telling you,
the band is--
497
00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:30,822
The band's amazing.
498
00:19:30,824 --> 00:19:32,157
Let's just stay for a few songs.
499
00:19:32,159 --> 00:19:37,963
I want to, you know, be all able
to say that I saw the--
500
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:40,415
Oh.
501
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:42,467
Both: Zigzags.
502
00:19:42,469 --> 00:19:44,219
At the Echoplex.
503
00:19:44,221 --> 00:19:45,470
Silver Lake.
504
00:19:45,472 --> 00:19:46,888
All right.
505
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:49,057
Just for the record, you should
never say it like that again.
506
00:19:49,059 --> 00:19:51,426
[Laughs]
507
00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:57,015
Okay,
it wasn't totally a coincidence,
508
00:19:57,017 --> 00:19:58,183
us running into each other.
509
00:19:58,185 --> 00:19:59,684
What do you mean?
510
00:19:59,686 --> 00:20:03,071
Well, you may have mentioned
that that was your mini mart,
511
00:20:03,073 --> 00:20:05,357
so I made it my mini mart.
512
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:09,277
Wow, that's scintillating
conversation on my part.
513
00:20:12,165 --> 00:20:13,248
You did, really?
514
00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:17,369
How else
was it just gonna happen?
515
00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:20,789
I wanted to see you, Abby.
516
00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:23,291
That's sweet.
517
00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:31,266
Oh, shit.
518
00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:34,219
Maybe she didn't.
519
00:20:34,221 --> 00:20:36,221
- Nope, she definitely did.
- She who?
520
00:20:36,223 --> 00:20:39,057
Do you know what?
Just someone I used to date.
521
00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:45,697
Okay.
522
00:20:45,699 --> 00:20:47,649
I think we lost her.
523
00:20:47,651 --> 00:20:50,068
What's with all the cloak
and dagger?
524
00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,453
Are you embarrassed
to be here with me?
525
00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:53,788
No.
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's--
526
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:55,373
Will!
527
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,876
Hey, Rachel.
528
00:20:57,878 --> 00:20:59,244
So here you are.
529
00:20:59,246 --> 00:21:01,046
So how many times
do I have to call you, huh?
530
00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:02,414
You can't act
like I don't exist.
531
00:21:02,416 --> 00:21:04,999
No, no, I know you exist.
Trust me, okay?
532
00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:06,751
- There's nothing left to say.
- And you.
533
00:21:06,753 --> 00:21:09,087
- You're the slut he's hung up on.
- Hey.
534
00:21:09,089 --> 00:21:12,557
- Um, I don't think so.
- Rachel, come on.
535
00:21:12,559 --> 00:21:15,760
You know, he was with someone,
you slut!
536
00:21:17,681 --> 00:21:19,230
Get her out!
Get her out of here!
537
00:21:19,232 --> 00:21:20,648
You stepping to me, bitch?
Huh?
538
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:22,350
You threw your drink on me.
539
00:21:22,352 --> 00:21:24,235
You want to fight me,
you slut?
540
00:21:24,237 --> 00:21:27,105
- Enough with the "slut."
- Slut!
541
00:21:27,407 --> 00:21:29,073
That's a terrible word.
542
00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:39,117
All: Hey!
543
00:21:41,421 --> 00:21:44,589
- And you must be Phoebe.
- I am.
544
00:21:44,591 --> 00:21:46,458
We've heard so much about you.
545
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:47,542
You have?
546
00:21:47,544 --> 00:21:49,794
- We've been bragging.
- Oh.
547
00:21:49,796 --> 00:21:51,296
Come on in.
Don't be scared.
548
00:21:51,298 --> 00:21:53,465
It's just fun and games.
549
00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:55,300
Okay.
550
00:21:59,439 --> 00:22:00,805
- Looks good to me.
- Yeah?
551
00:22:00,807 --> 00:22:02,640
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's go.
552
00:22:02,642 --> 00:22:05,393
- What the hell, huh?
- Uh-huh.
553
00:22:05,395 --> 00:22:06,945
[Music blaring]
554
00:22:06,947 --> 00:22:08,813
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
555
00:22:08,815 --> 00:22:10,615
That was awesome.
556
00:22:10,617 --> 00:22:14,536
I was almost in a bar fight.
Me.
557
00:22:14,538 --> 00:22:17,956
Was I "stepping to her"?
What is that?
558
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:19,958
- You know, just getting aggro.
- Aggro!
559
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,075
Yeah.
560
00:22:21,077 --> 00:22:23,228
Oh, I am, like--I'm shaking.
561
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:24,462
I'm so pumped.
562
00:22:24,464 --> 00:22:27,081
I feel like I could wrestle
a bear or a shark
563
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:28,466
or I don't even know.
564
00:22:28,468 --> 00:22:29,918
Oh.
565
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,553
Whoo!
566
00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:33,505
I like you. You know that?
567
00:22:33,507 --> 00:22:34,589
Even though you smell like beer.
568
00:22:34,591 --> 00:22:35,840
I do.
569
00:22:35,842 --> 00:22:38,143
Listen, Rachel
is why I was embarrassed.
570
00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:39,894
I went out with her
for a couple of weeks,
571
00:22:39,896 --> 00:22:41,679
and then all of a sudden,
I realized she's just--
572
00:22:41,681 --> 00:22:43,181
- She's crazy.
- Totally.
573
00:22:43,183 --> 00:22:46,484
You don't even know.
I'm a little crazy.
574
00:22:46,486 --> 00:22:48,019
A little crazy's perfect.
575
00:22:55,111 --> 00:22:56,661
Heineken.
576
00:22:56,663 --> 00:22:58,663
[Laughter]
577
00:23:06,423 --> 00:23:08,373
Holy shit.
578
00:23:08,375 --> 00:23:10,208
Holy shit.
579
00:23:15,517 --> 00:23:16,883
What the hell
are you doing here?
580
00:23:16,885 --> 00:23:19,018
- What are you doing here?
- I asked you a question.
581
00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:20,303
Does your father know
you're here?
582
00:23:20,305 --> 00:23:22,605
No, why?
Does he know you are?
583
00:23:22,607 --> 00:23:24,056
Don't you start with me.
584
00:23:24,058 --> 00:23:25,641
- How did you even get in?
- It's all right.
585
00:23:25,643 --> 00:23:28,528
Miss McCarthy, my dad
manages the band, so...
586
00:23:28,530 --> 00:23:30,029
I don't know who you are.
587
00:23:30,031 --> 00:23:32,398
I'm Kyle, Lily's boyfriend.
588
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,950
- Not right now.
- What?
589
00:23:33,952 --> 00:23:35,952
Kyle, can you please just
give us a minute?
590
00:23:35,954 --> 00:23:37,153
Well, yeah.
591
00:23:37,155 --> 00:23:40,206
Wait, who's he?
592
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:41,457
This is my friend Will.
593
00:23:41,459 --> 00:23:42,909
Will, this is my daughter, Lily.
594
00:23:42,911 --> 00:23:44,794
You guys are on a date?
595
00:23:44,796 --> 00:23:46,212
That's sick.
He's, like, my age.
596
00:23:46,214 --> 00:23:49,048
Trust me, no one in this club
is your age, Lily.
597
00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:50,967
- Look who's talking.
- We're done.
598
00:23:50,969 --> 00:23:52,802
We're leaving now.
599
00:23:54,305 --> 00:23:56,305
Bye.
600
00:24:20,531 --> 00:24:22,865
People think
our lifestyle's unrealistic,
601
00:24:22,917 --> 00:24:24,867
but don't you think
monogamy's unrealistic?
602
00:24:24,869 --> 00:24:25,869
Yes.
603
00:24:25,870 --> 00:24:27,036
I mean, this idea
604
00:24:27,038 --> 00:24:29,455
that just one person
can meet your needs.
605
00:24:29,457 --> 00:24:30,706
It's so old-school.
606
00:24:30,708 --> 00:24:34,043
- It's game time, honey.
- Oh, awesome.
607
00:24:34,045 --> 00:24:35,711
I'm ready.
608
00:24:35,713 --> 00:24:37,463
Me too.
609
00:24:37,465 --> 00:24:39,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
610
00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:41,350
What are you doing?
611
00:24:41,352 --> 00:24:44,136
Uh, jumping the gun.
612
00:24:44,138 --> 00:24:46,388
I'm sorry.
I don't--I don't know the rules.
613
00:24:46,390 --> 00:24:50,025
Vika,
we have another situation.
614
00:24:50,027 --> 00:24:53,195
Phoebe, I think
you may have misunderstood.
615
00:24:53,197 --> 00:24:55,731
Kathy's in a committed
polyamorous relationship,
616
00:24:55,733 --> 00:24:57,900
just like us.
617
00:24:57,902 --> 00:24:59,368
We're poly,
618
00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:03,489
although I guess the new PC term
is ethical nonmonogamy.
619
00:25:03,491 --> 00:25:06,458
We all are.
620
00:25:06,460 --> 00:25:08,410
Um...
621
00:25:12,083 --> 00:25:14,083
I was getting
more of the orgy vibe.
622
00:25:14,085 --> 00:25:17,052
[Laughs]
623
00:25:17,054 --> 00:25:20,472
No. Can--would you excuse us
for a second?
624
00:25:20,474 --> 00:25:22,091
I'm so sorry.
625
00:25:23,394 --> 00:25:25,811
Okay, when you guys said
626
00:25:25,813 --> 00:25:28,764
you wanted to take it
to the next level--
627
00:25:28,766 --> 00:25:32,234
We meant we wanted you
to meet our community.
628
00:25:32,236 --> 00:25:33,352
Community?
629
00:25:33,354 --> 00:25:35,020
What did you think we meant?
630
00:25:35,022 --> 00:25:38,824
Not Costco cheese platters
and cards against humanity.
631
00:25:38,826 --> 00:25:42,695
Phoebe, us bringing you here
tonight was a big step for us.
632
00:25:42,697 --> 00:25:45,614
We've been looking so long
for our third,
633
00:25:45,616 --> 00:25:48,617
but every time
it doesn't work out.
634
00:25:48,619 --> 00:25:52,121
And then you,
you're the first person
635
00:25:52,123 --> 00:25:53,339
that we've ever been with
636
00:25:53,341 --> 00:25:55,874
that we've both felt
the same way about.
637
00:25:55,876 --> 00:25:56,959
Oh, wow. Okay.
638
00:25:56,961 --> 00:25:59,595
And we wanted
to give you something
639
00:25:59,597 --> 00:26:03,966
as a gesture of our commitment.
640
00:26:05,269 --> 00:26:07,019
Open it.
641
00:26:14,195 --> 00:26:20,032
It's a symbol of polyamory,
a heart with an infinity loop.
642
00:26:20,034 --> 00:26:22,985
I am flattered.
643
00:26:22,987 --> 00:26:24,987
Don't you think
we're moving a little fast?
644
00:26:24,989 --> 00:26:28,657
Oh, Phoebe, when you know,
you know.
645
00:26:28,659 --> 00:26:31,210
We're in love with you.
646
00:26:31,212 --> 00:26:33,212
We want you to think
about moving in with us
647
00:26:33,214 --> 00:26:37,049
so we can share parenting,
households, everything.
648
00:26:37,051 --> 00:26:39,001
Everything.
649
00:26:39,003 --> 00:26:40,552
Wow.
650
00:26:48,813 --> 00:26:50,062
Sorry.
651
00:26:50,064 --> 00:26:53,015
God, what are you wearing?
Get in there right now.
652
00:26:53,017 --> 00:26:55,734
I can't believe you.
653
00:26:55,736 --> 00:26:58,354
- Why didn't you call me?
- It's my night.
654
00:26:58,356 --> 00:26:59,855
No, not if you lose her,
it's not.
655
00:26:59,857 --> 00:27:01,357
I didn't lose her.
She played me.
656
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:02,574
You still need to tell me.
657
00:27:02,576 --> 00:27:03,776
If this had happened
on my watch,
658
00:27:03,778 --> 00:27:05,194
you wouldn't want me
to call you?
659
00:27:05,196 --> 00:27:06,945
I figured she was out with
friends, which she was, right?
660
00:27:06,947 --> 00:27:08,414
- That is beside the point.
- I called everybody.
661
00:27:08,416 --> 00:27:09,615
I did everything
you would have done.
662
00:27:09,617 --> 00:27:12,918
So if you had found her
before I knew,
663
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,336
would you not have told me?
664
00:27:14,338 --> 00:27:16,005
- No?
- It's not a contest, Jake.
665
00:27:16,007 --> 00:27:17,289
Well, then why are you acting
all the time
666
00:27:17,291 --> 00:27:18,707
like it's who can be
the better parent?
667
00:27:18,709 --> 00:27:22,211
Really? Well, if that's
the case, then you fail.
668
00:27:22,213 --> 00:27:24,346
Oh, wow, Abby.
669
00:27:25,683 --> 00:27:27,433
Can't you just say,
"I'm sorry;
670
00:27:27,435 --> 00:27:29,301
I should have called?"
671
00:27:30,638 --> 00:27:33,355
How'd you find her?
672
00:27:33,357 --> 00:27:35,557
I saw her at the Echoplex.
673
00:27:35,559 --> 00:27:36,608
What were doing
at the Echoplex?
674
00:27:36,610 --> 00:27:37,826
I was there to see
the Zigzags.
675
00:27:37,828 --> 00:27:39,228
They're an ama--
You know what?
676
00:27:39,230 --> 00:27:40,896
It's none of your business.
677
00:27:40,898 --> 00:27:42,197
Was she drinking?
678
00:27:42,199 --> 00:27:45,200
No, she was making out
with an older guy.
679
00:27:45,202 --> 00:27:47,036
With this guy?
680
00:27:47,038 --> 00:27:48,287
- This guy's too old for--
- No. No.
681
00:27:48,289 --> 00:27:49,488
I could kick this guy's ass
right now.
682
00:27:49,490 --> 00:27:53,242
No, that is my friend Will.
683
00:27:53,244 --> 00:27:55,327
- Oh, that's your friend Will.
- Yes.
684
00:27:55,329 --> 00:27:56,745
Oh.
685
00:27:56,747 --> 00:27:58,247
Wow, he's just a widdle boy.
686
00:27:58,249 --> 00:27:59,498
He's 28.
687
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:00,833
Okay, wow.
688
00:28:00,835 --> 00:28:01,917
Oh, please don't look
so shocked
689
00:28:01,919 --> 00:28:03,502
that someone his age
would be into me.
690
00:28:03,504 --> 00:28:04,803
It's that like a screw you
'cause of Becca?
691
00:28:04,805 --> 00:28:05,921
- No.
- Is that what we're doing now?
692
00:28:05,923 --> 00:28:07,339
Of course not.
693
00:28:07,341 --> 00:28:10,426
Like, you're gonna go 19 next
or whatever you--oh, boy.
694
00:28:10,428 --> 00:28:13,345
Guys, everyone's had
a rough night.
695
00:28:13,347 --> 00:28:14,596
Yes, we have.
We don't need your help.
696
00:28:14,598 --> 00:28:16,932
Thank you.
697
00:28:16,934 --> 00:28:18,484
- It's okay, Will.
- Maybe we should just go.
698
00:28:18,486 --> 00:28:20,152
Sorry. Sorry.
699
00:28:20,154 --> 00:28:21,437
Charlie woke up,
and he was upset
700
00:28:21,439 --> 00:28:22,855
'cause I was the only one there.
701
00:28:22,857 --> 00:28:25,023
I got it.
I got it.
702
00:28:29,914 --> 00:28:31,947
Okay, I said I'll take care
of it, Abby.
703
00:28:31,949 --> 00:28:33,115
I just want to see him.
704
00:28:33,117 --> 00:28:34,450
Abby, I said we got it.
705
00:28:34,452 --> 00:28:35,834
"We."
"We."
706
00:28:35,836 --> 00:28:38,120
Who, you and Becca,
the parenting expert?
707
00:28:38,122 --> 00:28:39,671
Oh, no, no, you're the expert.
708
00:28:39,673 --> 00:28:41,673
You're the relationship expert.
You're the expert on everything.
709
00:28:41,675 --> 00:28:42,875
Just go home!
710
00:28:42,877 --> 00:28:44,259
Enjoy your revenge sex, okay?
711
00:28:44,261 --> 00:28:47,212
Take him home.
It's a school night.
712
00:28:47,214 --> 00:28:49,214
This whole time,
you've been up my ass
713
00:28:49,216 --> 00:28:52,384
about how old Becca is,
and then you show up with that.
714
00:28:52,386 --> 00:28:53,435
Come on, man. Seriously?
715
00:28:53,437 --> 00:28:54,603
- Sorry.
- You know what?
716
00:28:54,605 --> 00:28:56,188
Seriously, don't!
717
00:28:56,190 --> 00:28:58,557
- Grow up, Jake.
- You grow up.
718
00:28:58,559 --> 00:29:01,059
Oh, shut up. Shut up.
719
00:29:01,061 --> 00:29:03,695
What's wrong with you?
720
00:29:03,697 --> 00:29:05,697
You're both acting like--
721
00:29:05,699 --> 00:29:08,817
How come I'm the only one
acting my age?
722
00:29:08,819 --> 00:29:10,986
You make me sick.
723
00:29:24,493 --> 00:29:27,527
Lyla, is everything okay?
724
00:29:27,529 --> 00:29:30,363
Yup. Just making some cookies.
725
00:29:30,365 --> 00:29:33,083
I think you may have forgotten
the baking soda, honey.
726
00:29:33,085 --> 00:29:34,918
Of course
I forgot the baking soda.
727
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,253
Please put that down.
728
00:29:36,255 --> 00:29:38,205
No. No. Put it down. Stop.
729
00:29:38,207 --> 00:29:39,840
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- I just want to help.
730
00:29:39,842 --> 00:29:41,458
I don't want your help.
731
00:29:41,460 --> 00:29:44,211
I asked you for one thing today:
Keep it simple.
732
00:29:44,213 --> 00:29:47,797
And on some childish whim, you
decide to have a theme night.
733
00:29:47,799 --> 00:29:49,599
I think it made her feel
very comfortable.
734
00:29:49,601 --> 00:29:51,184
It doesn't make anyone
feel comfortable.
735
00:29:51,186 --> 00:29:52,969
It made me feel--
736
00:29:55,390 --> 00:29:57,941
- Well--
- I looked like an idiot.
737
00:29:57,943 --> 00:29:59,025
We all did.
738
00:29:59,027 --> 00:30:02,229
Just--just go to bed.
Do something.
739
00:30:02,231 --> 00:30:05,482
Just--just get out.
740
00:30:07,069 --> 00:30:10,570
Then I'll go. I'll--I'll--
741
00:30:10,572 --> 00:30:14,824
I'll be on the first flight
back to Seattle tomorrow.
742
00:30:20,499 --> 00:30:23,083
I'm so sorry.
743
00:30:23,085 --> 00:30:24,751
- Oh!
- Stop. Come on.
744
00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:26,136
I can't help it.
745
00:30:26,138 --> 00:30:29,589
It's like--like I have
apology Tourette's.
746
00:30:29,591 --> 00:30:31,391
Look, there's no way
that you could have known
747
00:30:31,393 --> 00:30:35,512
what an absolute shit show
tonight would be.
748
00:30:35,514 --> 00:30:38,064
[Both laugh]
749
00:30:38,066 --> 00:30:40,350
Do you remember when the
girl fight was the big story?
750
00:30:40,352 --> 00:30:42,152
Oh, yeah.
751
00:30:50,195 --> 00:30:55,115
Will.
752
00:30:55,117 --> 00:30:58,785
Yeah, I know.
753
00:30:58,787 --> 00:31:00,587
You don't have to say it.
754
00:31:03,875 --> 00:31:07,460
I wish I was
in the right place for you.
755
00:31:07,462 --> 00:31:09,879
You're just too mature for me.
[Laughs]
756
00:31:09,881 --> 00:31:11,214
I kind of mean it.
757
00:31:11,216 --> 00:31:16,553
I--I have so much work to do
on me, on everything.
758
00:31:19,524 --> 00:31:21,024
Okay.
759
00:31:22,277 --> 00:31:23,443
You know, despite all the drama,
760
00:31:23,445 --> 00:31:25,478
you're still the sanest woman
I know.
761
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,814
Obviously.
[Laughs]
762
00:31:57,980 --> 00:31:59,679
Okay.
763
00:31:59,681 --> 00:32:03,516
Okay, um, we should--
764
00:32:03,518 --> 00:32:05,735
I just--I want to be with
someone that knows who they are,
765
00:32:07,037 --> 00:32:08,772
not a human time bomb.
766
00:32:08,774 --> 00:32:09,774
[Laughs]
767
00:32:09,775 --> 00:32:11,191
Me too.
768
00:32:12,828 --> 00:32:15,829
I just need, like, a year.
769
00:32:15,831 --> 00:32:18,498
- Maybe five.
- No.
770
00:32:27,292 --> 00:32:29,793
- Okay.
- Okay.
771
00:32:35,100 --> 00:32:39,052
You know, when you do grow up,
772
00:32:39,054 --> 00:32:40,937
you should call me.
773
00:32:40,939 --> 00:32:43,273
Okay.
774
00:32:55,454 --> 00:32:57,404
Just put the bag down.
775
00:32:57,406 --> 00:32:59,322
Mom, please.
776
00:32:59,324 --> 00:33:00,540
- I'm sorry.
- Mom.
777
00:33:00,542 --> 00:33:01,708
I'm sorry.
778
00:33:01,710 --> 00:33:03,827
I'm overwhelmed right now.
779
00:33:03,829 --> 00:33:07,831
I feel like I'm losing
everything.
780
00:33:07,833 --> 00:33:10,917
And your attitude and optimism
about it,
781
00:33:10,919 --> 00:33:12,135
I can't get behind it.
782
00:33:12,137 --> 00:33:13,337
I don't believe in that stuff.
783
00:33:13,338 --> 00:33:14,504
I'm not like you.
784
00:33:14,506 --> 00:33:16,256
I know.
785
00:33:16,258 --> 00:33:19,142
You're like your father.
786
00:33:19,144 --> 00:33:20,427
Thanks?
787
00:33:20,429 --> 00:33:24,931
No, no, your dad
is an amazing man.
788
00:33:24,933 --> 00:33:28,068
Why do you think I stayed
married to him all these years?
789
00:33:28,070 --> 00:33:31,071
Because he was never home.
790
00:33:31,073 --> 00:33:32,238
That's not fair.
791
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,440
It's exactly fair.
792
00:33:33,442 --> 00:33:34,691
Listen to me.
793
00:33:34,693 --> 00:33:38,495
You're so loving and perfect.
794
00:33:38,497 --> 00:33:40,947
I'm not perfect.
I'm hardly perfect.
795
00:33:40,949 --> 00:33:41,949
Please, come on.
796
00:33:41,950 --> 00:33:43,249
The skin, the hair.
797
00:33:43,251 --> 00:33:45,201
I mean, just because I don't
798
00:33:45,203 --> 00:33:48,204
go on about my feelings
all the time.
799
00:33:48,206 --> 00:33:50,123
I don't want to know about
your feelings all the time.
800
00:33:50,125 --> 00:33:51,541
I want to know who you are.
801
00:33:51,543 --> 00:33:54,344
Yell, or stand by a conviction.
802
00:33:54,346 --> 00:33:55,762
Just--
803
00:33:55,764 --> 00:33:59,015
When's the last time you cried?
804
00:33:59,017 --> 00:34:02,969
Three months ago,
when my father died.
805
00:34:05,524 --> 00:34:07,140
Grandpa's dead?
806
00:34:07,142 --> 00:34:08,608
Yes, he is.
807
00:34:08,610 --> 00:34:11,444
I'm--prostate cancer.
808
00:34:11,446 --> 00:34:13,396
Oh, my God, nobody told me.
Nobody called me.
809
00:34:13,398 --> 00:34:15,064
You were going through
so much with your divorce,
810
00:34:15,066 --> 00:34:19,202
I just--I wanted
to wait till the right moment.
811
00:34:19,204 --> 00:34:21,988
Is this it?
812
00:34:21,990 --> 00:34:23,039
Probably not.
813
00:34:23,041 --> 00:34:27,377
That is so odd.
814
00:34:27,379 --> 00:34:28,795
Really?
815
00:34:28,797 --> 00:34:33,500
By any objective standard,
I'm--that's interesting.
816
00:34:33,502 --> 00:34:36,669
When I had my back surgery,
817
00:34:36,671 --> 00:34:40,340
I was briefly addicted
to painkillers
818
00:34:40,342 --> 00:34:41,641
for five years.
819
00:34:41,643 --> 00:34:45,145
- You--painkillers?
- [Laughs]
820
00:34:45,147 --> 00:34:49,682
I--I used to shoplift
from charity stores.
821
00:34:49,684 --> 00:34:52,185
I have many Jesuses.
822
00:34:52,187 --> 00:34:53,770
I did not expect that.
823
00:34:53,772 --> 00:34:58,358
Nobody's perfect,
and certainly I'm not.
824
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,660
But I see you now,
a little bit,
825
00:35:00,662 --> 00:35:02,745
and this should have been
happening more.
826
00:35:02,747 --> 00:35:04,030
That's not a mother's job.
827
00:35:04,032 --> 00:35:08,284
A mother's job
is to protect her children.
828
00:35:08,286 --> 00:35:10,587
Is the implication
that I don't protect mine
829
00:35:10,589 --> 00:35:12,288
because I'm so effusive
with them?
830
00:35:12,290 --> 00:35:13,706
No, Lyla.
831
00:35:13,708 --> 00:35:15,041
That I somehow deserve
what is going on with me?
832
00:35:15,043 --> 00:35:17,043
No, Lyla,
that's not what I said.
833
00:35:17,045 --> 00:35:18,595
And possibly losing
my children?
834
00:35:18,597 --> 00:35:22,682
Enough, Lyla.
Lyla, enough.
835
00:35:25,220 --> 00:35:28,221
I have to go pack.
836
00:35:33,195 --> 00:35:36,362
Grandpa's dead.
[Door closes]
837
00:35:41,839 --> 00:35:43,839
Mmm.
838
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:55,351
Here comes the rain again
839
00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:59,989
Falling on my head
like a memory
840
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:04,660
Falling on my head
like a new emotion
841
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:09,415
842
00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:13,786
I want to walk
in the open wind
843
00:36:13,788 --> 00:36:17,790
I want to talk
like lovers do
844
00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:22,094
I want to dive
into your ocean
845
00:36:22,096 --> 00:36:25,848
Is it raining with you?
846
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:31,437
Oh, baby, walk with me
847
00:36:31,439 --> 00:36:34,473
Like lovers do
848
00:36:34,475 --> 00:36:36,609
849
00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:40,613
Talk to me
850
00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:43,565
Like lovers do
851
00:36:43,567 --> 00:36:51,573
852
00:36:58,215 --> 00:36:59,915
Hurry up, Mom.
We're gonna be late.
853
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:01,834
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
854
00:37:01,836 --> 00:37:03,802
Are you wearing a backpack?
855
00:37:03,804 --> 00:37:07,006
No, it's a shoulder-mounted
survival kit.
856
00:37:07,008 --> 00:37:08,173
Grandma gave it to me.
857
00:37:08,175 --> 00:37:10,342
It comes with a Camelbak
hydration pack
858
00:37:10,344 --> 00:37:11,393
and a safety whistle.
859
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,262
Yeah, that's important.
860
00:37:13,264 --> 00:37:15,180
So get in the car.
I will meet you there.
861
00:37:15,182 --> 00:37:18,534
I promise we will not be late
for the bake sale.
862
00:37:24,108 --> 00:37:25,357
Oh!
863
00:37:53,454 --> 00:37:54,594
Well,
864
00:37:56,419 --> 00:37:58,114
so I'll talk to you tonight?
865
00:37:59,426 --> 00:38:01,043
Lily?
866
00:38:02,313 --> 00:38:04,730
Charlie's still in the car.
867
00:38:04,732 --> 00:38:06,148
Sorry, bud.
868
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:07,649
Come on.
869
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,289
Hey, Lily, hey.
870
00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:15,624
Honey, can I talk to you?
871
00:38:15,626 --> 00:38:16,959
Yeah, Dad told me.
872
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:18,994
I'm grounded, and I lost
my phone for two weeks.
873
00:38:18,996 --> 00:38:20,245
Okay.
874
00:38:20,247 --> 00:38:22,047
Um, good.
875
00:38:22,049 --> 00:38:24,083
Look, it's not okay
for you to lie to us,
876
00:38:24,085 --> 00:38:27,252
and it is not okay
for you to sneak out.
877
00:38:27,254 --> 00:38:30,672
But, um, your dad and I--
878
00:38:31,374 --> 00:38:32,925
We've been crazy lately,
879
00:38:32,927 --> 00:38:34,760
and you have every right
to be mad at us.
880
00:38:35,012 --> 00:38:37,262
We suck right now.
881
00:38:37,264 --> 00:38:38,680
Divorce sucks,
882
00:38:38,682 --> 00:38:41,933
and we need to figure out
how to be better for you.
883
00:38:41,935 --> 00:38:45,354
I'm really gonna try, okay?
884
00:38:45,356 --> 00:38:46,488
Okay.
885
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:47,856
Thank you.
886
00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:49,358
Okay.
887
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,361
Now I'm gonna hug you
without embarrassing you,
888
00:38:52,363 --> 00:38:54,579
because I love you.
889
00:38:58,335 --> 00:39:00,168
I love you, honey.
890
00:39:03,757 --> 00:39:07,042
But seriously, Mom, that guy's
way too young for you.
891
00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:08,877
It's totally Ratchet.
892
00:39:14,852 --> 00:39:17,135
Ratchet.
893
00:39:17,137 --> 00:39:20,305
[School bell rings]
894
00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:30,099
I just cannot believe that.
895
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,734
Who doesn't tell someone
their grandfather's dead?
896
00:39:31,736 --> 00:39:33,652
I know. It's--it's unusual.
897
00:39:33,654 --> 00:39:34,903
But when I found out
898
00:39:34,905 --> 00:39:36,772
that she was a pill-addicted
shoplifter...
899
00:39:36,774 --> 00:39:37,940
You felt closer to her.
900
00:39:37,942 --> 00:39:39,191
- I felt closer to her.
- Yes, I get that.
901
00:39:39,193 --> 00:39:41,026
- I don't want you to hate her.
- No.
902
00:39:41,028 --> 00:39:44,113
Because these are such
good cookies.
903
00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,781
- I know.
- Honey, I'm sorry.
904
00:39:45,783 --> 00:39:47,950
I thought I was the only one
whose night was a disaster.
905
00:39:47,952 --> 00:39:50,119
No.
Definitely not the only one.
906
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:51,286
Oh, really?
907
00:39:51,288 --> 00:39:52,755
Somebody has something
to share.
908
00:39:52,757 --> 00:39:55,958
Your date with Vika and Merete
wasn't great?
909
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,259
Honestly,
it was a little weird.
910
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:59,795
The threesome got weird.
Go on.
911
00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:01,930
They wanted to marry my ass.
912
00:40:05,186 --> 00:40:06,518
Yeah.
913
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:07,936
[Phone chimes]
Sorry.
914
00:40:07,938 --> 00:40:09,188
How crazy is that?
And guess what?
915
00:40:09,190 --> 00:40:11,140
- Guess where they took me?
- Where?
916
00:40:11,142 --> 00:40:12,474
- Woodland Hills.
- That's ridiculous.
917
00:40:12,476 --> 00:40:13,725
- I know.
- Ugh!
918
00:40:13,727 --> 00:40:15,978
Why does she keep
sending me these things?
919
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:18,480
Don't worry about it. No one
cares about that, honestly.
920
00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:20,532
I'm really excited
about our next guest.
921
00:40:20,534 --> 00:40:21,733
Cleo Stevens is here.
922
00:40:21,735 --> 00:40:24,653
She's the author
of the best-selling advice book
923
00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:27,489
Back Burner Baby:
Mommy Needs Candy Too.
924
00:40:27,491 --> 00:40:30,292
So, Cleo, this book generating
a lot of chatter.
925
00:40:30,294 --> 00:40:32,578
Why do you think
it's hitting such a nerve?
926
00:40:32,580 --> 00:40:35,464
Well, I think it's 'cause
I'm calling out all the B.S.
927
00:40:35,466 --> 00:40:39,051
That we moms have been drip-fed
for, like, the past 20 years.
928
00:40:39,053 --> 00:40:41,503
I mean, on the one hand, we're
supposed to work full-time,
929
00:40:41,505 --> 00:40:42,754
and on the other,
we're supposed to be
930
00:40:42,756 --> 00:40:45,007
these fully immersed
mommy-copters.
931
00:40:45,009 --> 00:40:47,676
That leaves about zero minutes
for ourselves.
932
00:40:47,678 --> 00:40:49,178
I mean, no wonder
we're all mainlining
933
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,846
Sauvignon Blanc, right?
934
00:40:50,848 --> 00:40:53,015
In your book,
you propose what I'll say
935
00:40:53,017 --> 00:40:55,150
is a different kind
of parenting system.
936
00:40:55,152 --> 00:40:57,319
By "system,"
you mean one rule?
937
00:40:57,321 --> 00:40:58,520
[Laughs]
938
00:40:58,522 --> 00:41:00,572
More time for yourself.
The kids'll be fine.
939
00:41:00,574 --> 00:41:01,824
I mean, otherwise
you're just gonna have
940
00:41:01,826 --> 00:41:03,909
a nervous breakdown
like Abby McCarthy.
941
00:41:03,911 --> 00:41:05,244
Wow, ouch.
942
00:41:05,246 --> 00:41:07,946
Well, I'm sorry,
but she is the perfect example
943
00:41:07,948 --> 00:41:09,164
of what I'm talking about.
944
00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:12,284
She spent 14 years
hyper-focused on her kids,
945
00:41:12,286 --> 00:41:14,036
and that's all she wrote about.
946
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:15,704
I mean, there's barely a mention
of the husband.
947
00:41:15,706 --> 00:41:18,040
And then she snaps.
948
00:41:18,042 --> 00:41:19,458
[Phone rings]
949
00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:21,376
- Did she snap?
- I mean, look.
950
00:41:21,378 --> 00:41:24,012
I don't have anything
against her personally, at all.
951
00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:25,547
She was relevant once.
952
00:41:25,549 --> 00:41:28,600
I think the conversation
has moved on, right?
953
00:41:28,602 --> 00:41:32,354
Isn't it time we got real?
954
00:41:32,356 --> 00:41:35,474
I think that bitch
just stepped to me.
955
00:41:35,476 --> 00:41:37,726
Like a woman on a warpath
956
00:41:37,750 --> 00:41:42,250
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www.addic7ed.com
957
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:46,850
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