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1
00:00:00,554 --> 00:00:01,678
[Tires screech]
2
00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:03,897
Hey, Mom. Chip's in prison in Camarillo.
3
00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:05,000
You need to go bail him out.
4
00:00:05,063 --> 00:00:06,390
- I'm giving you six months probation.
- [Gavel slams]
5
00:00:06,438 --> 00:00:08,187
- Should we go home, Chip?
- Yeah, Mama.
6
00:00:08,212 --> 00:00:11,998
So I was wondering if you'd like to go
see a movie with me tonight.
7
00:00:12,023 --> 00:00:15,460
Dale, I'm sorry, but I don't think
I can go out with you again.
8
00:00:15,547 --> 00:00:16,693
Are you okay?
9
00:00:16,718 --> 00:00:18,734
You don't know when
a man's making a pass at you?
10
00:00:18,759 --> 00:00:21,468
- You're drunk.
- I regret everything I've done, okay?
11
00:00:21,514 --> 00:00:25,249
Go home and go to sleep, Dale.
12
00:00:30,143 --> 00:00:31,809
[Weatherman on TV, indistinct]
13
00:00:32,223 --> 00:00:34,457
[Snoring]
14
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:39,203
Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:43,373
[Sighs]
16
00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:44,874
[TV clicks off]
17
00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:47,610
[Bag rustling]
18
00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:00,892
[Bottle clatters]
19
00:01:15,562 --> 00:01:17,529
[Clatters]
20
00:01:29,814 --> 00:01:32,482
[Whirring]
21
00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:34,740
Trisha, I'm going to take
the rest of the day off.
22
00:01:34,904 --> 00:01:37,070
- [Door opens]
- Okay.
23
00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:40,148
The dog days are over
24
00:01:40,173 --> 00:01:43,288
The dog days are done
25
00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:44,984
The horses are coming
26
00:01:45,009 --> 00:01:46,118
[Horn honks]
27
00:01:46,204 --> 00:01:47,503
They have selfie sticks?
28
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:49,718
The thing you showcase your life with?
29
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,585
Run fast for your mother
30
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,295
Run fast for your father
31
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,991
Run for your children
32
00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:57,216
And for your sisters
and your brothers
33
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,664
Leave all your love
and your longing behind you
34
00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:02,851
You can't carry it with you
if you want to survive
35
00:02:02,932 --> 00:02:05,199
The dog days are over
36
00:02:05,434 --> 00:02:09,403
The dog days are done
37
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:12,148
Can't you hear the horses
38
00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,735
[Cries out]
39
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:15,482
[Panting]
40
00:02:15,507 --> 00:02:17,703
Caught me in the middle of my workout.
41
00:02:17,936 --> 00:02:19,553
Scared me to death, Mom.
42
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:20,920
[Exhales]
43
00:02:20,984 --> 00:02:22,449
Hey, Chip.
44
00:02:22,481 --> 00:02:24,214
How you doin', Dale?
45
00:02:24,239 --> 00:02:27,307
Where are my kittens?
46
00:02:27,337 --> 00:02:30,038
They love the sound of that can opening.
47
00:02:30,063 --> 00:02:32,530
- [Cat yowls]
- Oh! Right on cue!
48
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:36,343
Ronald Reagan! Will Ferrell!
49
00:02:36,368 --> 00:02:37,586
You so hungry.
50
00:02:37,611 --> 00:02:38,976
Dale: Yeah, so I just, you know,
51
00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:40,828
decided I'd do a life change.
52
00:02:40,907 --> 00:02:42,773
- That's good.
- Trying to make a better me.
53
00:02:42,798 --> 00:02:45,599
You know, for Dale
and for the United States.
54
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,711
- Mmm.
- So... As Florence Machine says,
55
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,435
"The dog days are over."
56
00:02:50,534 --> 00:02:52,367
The dog days of summer are over.
57
00:02:52,392 --> 00:02:53,632
No, the dog days are over, Mom.
58
00:02:53,722 --> 00:02:54,914
- Are they?
- Yep.
59
00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,773
- I like it.
- What does that even mean?
60
00:02:56,798 --> 00:02:58,867
You wouldn't get it. It's not
for people like you.
61
00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:00,336
It's political music.
62
00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:03,218
Well, I'm just happy
to have my boys home.
63
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:06,750
I'm gonna plan us a family dinner.
64
00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:08,610
Let's see what we have.
65
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,727
Ah! I'm gonna have
to make a run to Costco!
66
00:03:12,999 --> 00:03:15,445
- Who's with me?
- That's a pass on this end.
67
00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:17,403
Oh! Chip?
68
00:03:17,616 --> 00:03:18,982
- No, thanks.
- All right.
69
00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:23,256
- Well, be good.
- Okay, Mama.
70
00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:24,695
[Shutter snaps]
71
00:03:28,837 --> 00:03:30,970
So, did you find Islam in the clink?
72
00:03:31,887 --> 00:03:35,285
I'm just gonna go upstairs
and take a shower, okay?
73
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:38,801
You're free to do whatever
you want, Malcolm X.
74
00:03:41,535 --> 00:03:44,082
Hi, Joe.
75
00:03:44,126 --> 00:03:45,715
Oh!
76
00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:48,215
Oh, what do we have here?
77
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,639
We're doing pizza kits today.
78
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,263
Pizza kits?
79
00:03:51,288 --> 00:03:53,855
- All the ingredients in one.
- You're kidding.
80
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,472
- This is it.
- It's organic.
81
00:03:55,497 --> 00:03:57,094
It's a great activity for kids.
82
00:03:57,119 --> 00:04:00,354
Oh, I've got two boys at home
who'll go wild for this.
83
00:04:00,676 --> 00:04:02,342
- How old?
- Oh, who knows.
84
00:04:02,545 --> 00:04:04,959
- Boys eat a lot. You know that.
- Yeah.
85
00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,909
That way, you know, you
got one for each boy.
86
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,047
- Two? All right.
- At least.
87
00:04:09,104 --> 00:04:11,394
And if you wanna just be safe,
I'd take three, you know.
88
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,965
- Why not?
- You have them for another day.
89
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,074
- It's a very special night.
- Oh, really?
90
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:16,441
- Mm-hmm.
- That's wonderful.
91
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,527
- It's a family night.
- Family nights are special.
92
00:04:18,552 --> 00:04:20,501
- Let me take one more.
- You should, one for the road.
93
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,926
- Okay. Thank you.
- You enjoy your night.
94
00:04:22,951 --> 00:04:24,684
- Organic, huh?
- It's good for you.
95
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,476
- I love that!
- [Laughs]
96
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:32,277
[Sighs]
97
00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:35,486
[Exhales]
98
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,366
...are done
99
00:04:37,468 --> 00:04:40,669
Can't you hear the horses
100
00:04:40,772 --> 00:04:43,672
'Cause here they come
101
00:04:43,775 --> 00:04:46,509
Dale:
The dog days are over
102
00:04:46,611 --> 00:04:50,179
The dog days are done
103
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:52,761
Dale, can you please turn that down!
104
00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:53,902
I'm trying to sleep!
105
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,762
Oh, does baby need his nap?
106
00:04:55,787 --> 00:04:58,059
- Dale...
- If baby needs his nap,
107
00:04:58,084 --> 00:05:00,059
then baby just needs to say so.
108
00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:03,651
- Baby needs his nap.
- Ha! You're a baby!
109
00:05:03,676 --> 00:05:05,309
That's disgusting! Fine,
I'll turn it down.
110
00:05:05,334 --> 00:05:07,076
- Good.
- [Volume lowers]
111
00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:16,032
[Sighs]
112
00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:18,933
[Whirring]
113
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,345
[Whirring continues]
114
00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:39,308
[Whirring continues]
115
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,441
God Almighty! Do you know
how many Goji berries were in there?
116
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:56,383
You owe me 23 dollars.
Don't throw another one.
117
00:05:56,408 --> 00:05:59,214
- What's that?
- How dare you!
118
00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:01,006
That drink was gonna
turn my life around!
119
00:06:01,232 --> 00:06:03,165
Dale, don't panic. You're
gonna shit your pants
120
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,094
just like you did
at the Nazarella's birthday party
121
00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:07,027
at the beginning of the birthday song.
122
00:06:07,052 --> 00:06:08,126
[Shouts]
123
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:10,766
That was two years ago,
and it was a nervous stomach!
124
00:06:13,335 --> 00:06:15,135
Wish I never had a twin brother.
125
00:06:20,024 --> 00:06:23,259
[Doorbell chimes]
126
00:06:23,814 --> 00:06:25,280
Yeah.
127
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,419
- Hey!
- [Fabric tears]
128
00:06:52,505 --> 00:06:54,872
Dale! Dale, Dale, no.
129
00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:58,028
- Little flossin', huh?
- [Fabric rips]
130
00:06:58,053 --> 00:06:59,169
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
131
00:06:59,194 --> 00:07:00,861
[Cries out]
132
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:04,375
[Ringtone chiming]
133
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,235
[Dale shouting indistinctly]
134
00:07:15,427 --> 00:07:16,555
That's for the underwear.
135
00:07:26,736 --> 00:07:28,770
Chip! Chip!
136
00:07:29,075 --> 00:07:32,249
You smashed my phone and you
just go disappear again.
137
00:07:32,274 --> 00:07:35,187
Making everybody feel sorry
for the poor criminal.
138
00:07:35,212 --> 00:07:38,429
Meanwhile no one gives two shits
about the good guy! Frickin' me!
139
00:07:41,973 --> 00:07:45,507
Chippie.
140
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:48,499
Chip. Two can play at this game.
141
00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:50,382
You wanna wait it out.
I'm fine with that.
142
00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:52,006
I'm just gonna be out here.
143
00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:57,296
"Ice Age"? Is that a Pixar movie?
144
00:07:57,330 --> 00:07:59,163
- Oh, it's an animated movie.
- Oh.
145
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,629
What's a good movie nowadays?
146
00:08:01,654 --> 00:08:04,015
- Uh, "Star Wars."
- Oh, "Star Wars."
147
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,359
I think they've seen that. We're
having a family night tonight.
148
00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:09,129
- Oh. Oh.
- Looking for something to do.
149
00:08:09,217 --> 00:08:10,865
Board games are great for family night.
150
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,601
- Hmm, that's a great idea.
- Yeah.
151
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,908
You got, like, so many choices.
152
00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:16,124
There's, like, Risk,
153
00:08:16,149 --> 00:08:18,452
if you want to go on a grand
adventure or something.
154
00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:20,671
The Game of Life, I'm
already playing that.
155
00:08:20,696 --> 00:08:22,629
Yeah. Ain't that the truth.
156
00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:25,481
- Connect Four?
- There you go. Yeah.
157
00:08:25,591 --> 00:08:28,626
- That's interesting.
- Oh, is that checkers?
158
00:08:28,687 --> 00:08:29,913
It's kind of like checkers
but standing up.
159
00:08:29,938 --> 00:08:31,804
- Oh, I don't want that.
- Yeah, it's stupid.
160
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:33,898
What do your kids like?
161
00:08:33,923 --> 00:08:37,265
Well, one's competitive,
and one's very creative.
162
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,207
Twins. Go figure.
163
00:08:40,481 --> 00:08:42,406
- Oh.
- They sound really smart.
164
00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,090
Um, how about Cranium?
165
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:46,960
I'll take it. Just throw it in there.
166
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,885
- All right.
- Thank you.
167
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:50,249
You're welcome. Have a fun game night.
168
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:52,101
"Cranium" it is. We will.
169
00:08:52,188 --> 00:08:53,507
- All right, excellent.
- Thank you.
170
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:54,532
Take care.
171
00:09:00,464 --> 00:09:03,123
Here's your dumb monocycle.
172
00:09:05,281 --> 00:09:06,560
There we go.
173
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,849
[Sighs]
174
00:09:08,945 --> 00:09:11,021
Plus I rubbed my feet
on everything that you own,
175
00:09:11,046 --> 00:09:12,998
so everything that you
own smells like feet.
176
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:15,920
- I also farted on your socks.
- Did you?
177
00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:17,287
I farted on your dirty socks,
178
00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:20,029
so your dirty socks smell
like dirty socks and farts.
179
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:21,434
Dale, good for you.
180
00:09:21,809 --> 00:09:23,475
Anyway, I'm gonna take a nap.
181
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,972
La-di-da! Look at me! I'm Chip Baskets!
182
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:39,761
I'm a French trained clown.
183
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:41,956
I like to stick french fries up my ass.
184
00:09:42,284 --> 00:09:44,851
I'm not appreciative of my twin brother,
185
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,847
because I'm too selfish!
186
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:49,617
Hey! Don't hurt me!
187
00:09:52,714 --> 00:09:54,470
Chip, you're a piece of shit.
188
00:09:54,738 --> 00:09:56,298
Get over, you fat pig!
189
00:09:56,336 --> 00:09:58,814
- [Muttering]
- Hi, Mr. Adams.
190
00:10:00,306 --> 00:10:01,579
Everything okay?
191
00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:03,415
Everything's fine, Mr. Adams.
192
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,008
- Okay, your mom home?
- No, she's out!
193
00:10:06,223 --> 00:10:08,204
Okay, well, tell her I noticed
194
00:10:08,229 --> 00:10:10,407
her sprinklers were going
off in the middle of the day,
195
00:10:10,432 --> 00:10:12,533
- and we're in a drought.
- Thank you.
196
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:14,914
We don't need a lecture right
now during a family emergency.
197
00:10:15,359 --> 00:10:16,478
You don't have to apologize to me,
198
00:10:16,503 --> 00:10:18,134
apologize to the state of California.
199
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,048
Okay! Go back
into your stupid video games
200
00:10:21,073 --> 00:10:22,639
and your child porn.
201
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,693
Your butt is mine!
202
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,298
Your ass is grass, son!
203
00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:38,229
[Scanner beeping]
204
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,663
It says declined.
205
00:10:42,688 --> 00:10:44,355
Declined?
206
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:45,982
Let me try it again.
207
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:50,484
"Declined." [Chuckles]
208
00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,075
Still says declined.
209
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,353
Well, that can't be right.
210
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,255
Let me call the bank.
211
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,337
So your billing indicates
212
00:10:58,362 --> 00:11:00,702
you did some recent
out of the ordinary travel,
213
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,009
so your account was flagged.
214
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:05,814
Uh, yes, I went to Camarillo.
It was, uh, lovely.
215
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,978
Apparently there was a $10,000 hold for,
216
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:11,751
it says here, bail at a prison?
217
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,868
Yes, yes, yes.
218
00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:15,376
Okay. Good to know that was you.
219
00:11:15,401 --> 00:11:17,452
We'll notify you shortly when
your card is up and running.
220
00:11:17,486 --> 00:11:19,477
- Sorry for the inconvenience.
- Thank you.
221
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,860
We cherish our customer service,
so if you wouldn't mind...
222
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,812
- Hi, Martha.
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Baskets.
223
00:11:34,837 --> 00:11:36,407
How did you get in here?
224
00:11:36,622 --> 00:11:37,907
Walked.
225
00:11:39,227 --> 00:11:41,794
Well, um, it's good to see you.
226
00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:44,571
I never been backstage at Costco before.
227
00:11:44,734 --> 00:11:46,829
It's fantastic.
228
00:11:47,212 --> 00:11:49,178
You work here? Whoo!
229
00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:52,618
Anyway, I just have some snafu
with my credit card.
230
00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:56,360
You know, modern chips,
and sliding them, and...
231
00:11:56,385 --> 00:11:58,422
- [Groans]
- Oh.
232
00:11:58,462 --> 00:12:00,262
So I thought, "What about this?"
233
00:12:00,403 --> 00:12:01,569
Come back.
234
00:12:01,984 --> 00:12:05,319
- Take Martha to lunch!
- Oh, wow.
235
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,282
That's really nice, Mrs. Baskets,
236
00:12:07,307 --> 00:12:09,360
but I'm actually working right now.
237
00:12:10,674 --> 00:12:13,708
These people don't care
if you go have lunch.
238
00:12:14,102 --> 00:12:16,343
You guys don't care, do you?
239
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:18,279
See? They don't care.
240
00:12:18,318 --> 00:12:19,450
I heard a yes.
241
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,783
Martha, the hot dog patio right now
242
00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:24,537
is beautiful.
243
00:12:24,601 --> 00:12:27,002
Come on, let's have a little fun.
244
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:30,357
You know that song,
"Girls Gotta Have Fun"?
245
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:32,577
Uh. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?
246
00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:34,602
Yeah, that was it.
247
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:37,062
- Okay.
- Yay! Come on!
248
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:39,226
Okay, great. Let me get my stuff.
249
00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:43,280
You ruin everything, don't you?
250
00:12:43,372 --> 00:12:45,756
This remind you of childhood?
Chasing you around a table,
251
00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:47,327
'cause you always screw thing up?
252
00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,171
Martha was gonna be my girlfriend
253
00:12:49,196 --> 00:12:50,132
until you came along.
254
00:12:50,157 --> 00:12:51,952
Dale, she was my friend first.
255
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:54,882
- Martha's a woman that needs.
- No, she's not.
256
00:12:54,961 --> 00:12:57,069
Oh, yes, she is.
257
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,835
Because when we were doing
the old in-and-out,
258
00:12:58,925 --> 00:13:01,292
she loved it.
259
00:13:01,386 --> 00:13:04,140
I also had sex
with your little Frenchie wife.
260
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,929
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
261
00:13:05,972 --> 00:13:07,624
I pretended to be you
and had sex with her.
262
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:10,702
Now I know you're lying. She
would never have sex with me.
263
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:15,437
Well, that's just sad, Chip.
264
00:13:15,582 --> 00:13:16,663
Yeah, I know.
265
00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:18,116
That's really sad.
266
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,710
Well, I had sex with your wife, Nicole.
267
00:13:29,735 --> 00:13:30,895
What do you think about that?
268
00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:37,803
You had sex...
269
00:13:38,022 --> 00:13:39,030
with Nicole?
270
00:13:39,055 --> 00:13:41,054
No, obviously that's not true. I just...
271
00:13:41,236 --> 00:13:43,608
You like to joke around, do you?
272
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:44,880
[Screams]
273
00:13:48,616 --> 00:13:50,619
How could you do this to me?
274
00:13:51,871 --> 00:13:53,767
My life is not some kind of joke!
275
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,830
- Dale!
- Not a joke!
276
00:13:55,855 --> 00:13:57,041
Dale! Dale!
277
00:13:57,524 --> 00:14:00,591
[Shouting indistinctly]
278
00:14:00,694 --> 00:14:02,193
You're dislodging the toilet!
279
00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:07,265
[Screaming]
280
00:14:08,435 --> 00:14:09,767
Shit water!
281
00:14:10,804 --> 00:14:13,729
Oh, my god! God damn it!
282
00:14:14,826 --> 00:14:19,127
Martha, can you keep a secret?
283
00:14:19,152 --> 00:14:21,877
Um, no, I'm actually a bit of a snitch.
284
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:25,135
Who cares? I met someone.
285
00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:29,057
- You have a boyfriend?
- Oh, no, nothing like that.
286
00:14:29,082 --> 00:14:31,016
But there was a vibe.
287
00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:33,031
What kind of vibe?
288
00:14:33,056 --> 00:14:35,041
Well, went to the Ronald Reagan Library,
289
00:14:35,066 --> 00:14:37,500
and he put his hand on my back.
290
00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,499
- Wow.
- What?
291
00:14:39,593 --> 00:14:42,627
That usually means they want
to get naked with you.
292
00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:45,253
I'm so out of the dating scene.
293
00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:47,008
I didn't know that meant that.
294
00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:48,612
Well, I read a lot of magazines,
295
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,681
so I'm probably more of an expert
296
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:53,073
than most people who actually date.
297
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,588
You know, Martha,
298
00:14:55,789 --> 00:14:58,223
you make everything very clear to me.
299
00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:01,719
Come around more often. I miss you.
300
00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:03,502
I don't think that's a good idea.
301
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,049
I think Chip's mad at me.
302
00:15:05,425 --> 00:15:07,205
Oh, you don't worry about Chip.
303
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:10,631
When a boy is mean to a girl,
it means he likes her.
304
00:15:10,929 --> 00:15:14,221
Um, Mrs. Baskets,
it's really not like that.
305
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:18,181
Okay, Martha. Keep your little secrets.
I don't care.
306
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:22,424
[Screaming]
307
00:15:23,058 --> 00:15:26,924
Threw my whole life away to go
see a Pixar movie with Martha!
308
00:15:26,949 --> 00:15:28,449
Dale! God!
309
00:15:29,023 --> 00:15:32,027
Yes, sir. I'm having a toilet emergency.
310
00:15:32,118 --> 00:15:35,053
- If there's anybody there...
- Little Dale.
311
00:15:35,078 --> 00:15:37,645
- Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
- Hey, Little Dale.
312
00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:39,934
I failed you, Little Dale.
313
00:15:39,959 --> 00:15:43,727
Dale? Again, I'm sorry. Okay?
314
00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:53,254
Big Dale, you're an idiot.
A goddamn idiot!
315
00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:55,074
Dale, don't be so hard on your yourself.
316
00:15:55,099 --> 00:15:56,336
You shut up.
317
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:03,773
[Sobbing] Super glue
ain't gonna fix that!
318
00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:09,825
I've ruined my family just
like dad ruined ours.
319
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,110
It's okay, Dale.
320
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:17,258
- It's okay.
- [Cat yowls]
321
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,852
- Kitty cat!
- Hey! Hey!
322
00:16:20,893 --> 00:16:23,766
- Kitty cat!
- [Glass shatters]
323
00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:28,529
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
324
00:16:29,227 --> 00:16:31,265
Look up in the trees.
325
00:16:31,368 --> 00:16:34,569
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!
326
00:16:34,671 --> 00:16:35,703
[Whistles]
327
00:16:35,805 --> 00:16:37,405
Which one was it. Anyway?
328
00:16:37,507 --> 00:16:39,440
- Uh, Ronald Reagan.
- Ronald Reagan. Good gosh.
329
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,042
What did you do with the other one?
330
00:16:41,144 --> 00:16:43,511
I put Will Ferrell in Cody
and Logan's room.
331
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:47,398
Well, I hope the cat just takes
a pee-pee all over their room.
332
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:50,885
Speaking of which, Mom
is gonna be pissed.
333
00:16:50,987 --> 00:16:53,390
You know, like when Dad
was in one of his moods?
334
00:16:53,415 --> 00:16:54,889
That kind of pissed.
335
00:16:54,991 --> 00:16:57,675
We'll find the cat, okay, Dale?
336
00:16:57,777 --> 00:17:00,578
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
337
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:04,476
Hey, why don't we talk about Dad.
You know...
338
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,602
Oh, my God! What is that gonna do?
339
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:09,063
That's a giant waste of time.
340
00:17:09,114 --> 00:17:12,235
I just think that we should maybe
start talking about him a bit.
341
00:17:12,358 --> 00:17:16,594
Ronald Reagan! Ronald Reagan!
342
00:17:16,696 --> 00:17:18,398
Ronald Reagan!
343
00:17:18,423 --> 00:17:19,823
[Phone chimes]
344
00:17:19,925 --> 00:17:22,959
Oh, my card's back. Good.
345
00:17:23,061 --> 00:17:25,438
Oh, well, thank you for the hot dog.
346
00:17:25,463 --> 00:17:27,329
Oh, Martha, it was $1.50.
347
00:17:27,566 --> 00:17:29,966
Thank you for spending time with me.
348
00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:32,172
Well, I like spending time with you.
349
00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:33,960
- You do?
- Yeah.
350
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,204
Why?
351
00:17:35,229 --> 00:17:38,297
Well, for one thing, you
always have something to say.
352
00:17:38,322 --> 00:17:40,501
- I do, don't I?
- Yeah.
353
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:44,347
Oh, Martha, I like you a whole lot
more than I like that Penelope.
354
00:17:44,449 --> 00:17:45,915
- Really?
- Yeah, sure.
355
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,584
You get along with your parents.
356
00:17:47,686 --> 00:17:50,587
You're a smart dresser.
You work at Costco.
357
00:17:50,689 --> 00:17:52,883
You're the complete package, Martha.
358
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:55,219
And don't let anyone
tell you any different.
359
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:57,560
- Um, well I...
- Bye!
360
00:17:57,591 --> 00:17:59,291
Probably will.
361
00:18:00,194 --> 00:18:01,961
Ronald Reagan!
362
00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:05,063
Hey, pull over there. Right
there, just for a second.
363
00:18:15,156 --> 00:18:17,276
Well, I don't think we're
gonna find the cat out here.
364
00:18:25,197 --> 00:18:26,863
You ever come out to this spot?
365
00:18:27,097 --> 00:18:28,897
Can't say that I have.
366
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:37,057
Yeah, Dad just accidentally
fell off the bridge
367
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:40,050
whilst he was admiring
the river's beauty.
368
00:18:40,318 --> 00:18:42,284
Nice try, Mom.
369
00:18:42,741 --> 00:18:44,034
I believed it.
370
00:18:44,366 --> 00:18:45,865
Well, you're dumber than you look.
371
00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:51,989
It's okay to be angry.
372
00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,260
I'm not angry!
373
00:18:53,285 --> 00:18:54,799
I'm not angry, I'm just full of beans.
374
00:18:54,824 --> 00:18:55,756
I've always been full of beans.
375
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:56,913
So many goddamn beans.
376
00:18:56,938 --> 00:18:58,581
I don't even... [Sputtering]
377
00:18:58,606 --> 00:19:01,166
[Thumping, horn honking]
378
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,901
I might be a little angry, okay?
379
00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:18,362
But you'd be angry, too, if you
were living in the real world.
380
00:19:19,147 --> 00:19:22,048
You know, you're out, you know,
believing in fairy tales
381
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,706
and spreading your emotional diarrhea
382
00:19:23,737 --> 00:19:25,120
all over this great country of ours,
383
00:19:25,145 --> 00:19:26,711
while I'm doing business.
384
00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:30,073
Real life stuff! I'm running errands.
385
00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:32,541
I'm getting gasoline.
I'm going to the store.
386
00:19:32,615 --> 00:19:34,120
I'm buying Mom flip-flops
387
00:19:34,145 --> 00:19:36,446
when I have to go buy her flip-flops.
388
00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:38,495
[Sighs]
389
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,377
I mean, what are you thinking,
390
00:19:40,402 --> 00:19:43,002
jumping on trains like Bob
Dylan or something?
391
00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:46,829
Those choo-choos can be
really, really dangerous.
392
00:19:48,124 --> 00:19:50,892
- It was stupid, Dale.
- Yeah, it was stupid.
393
00:19:51,697 --> 00:19:55,643
It's just dangerous. It makes me nervous.
It makes me upset!
394
00:19:56,916 --> 00:19:58,082
You're my only brother.
395
00:19:59,697 --> 00:20:01,096
Except those other ones.
396
00:20:04,691 --> 00:20:06,891
It was a mistake.
397
00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:08,260
[Cat yowls]
398
00:20:08,285 --> 00:20:10,026
- There's that little pussy.
- Okay.
399
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:13,537
Okay, let's go. Ronald Reagan!
400
00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:15,834
- Ronald Reagan!
- Ronald Reagan!
401
00:20:15,859 --> 00:20:18,412
- Ronald Reagan!
- Ronald Reagan!
402
00:20:18,726 --> 00:20:21,126
- Ronald Reagan!
- Ronald Reagan!
403
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:22,811
- Ronald Reagan!
- Ronald Reagan!
404
00:20:22,836 --> 00:20:24,936
Ronald Reagan! He likes my voice better.
405
00:20:25,195 --> 00:20:27,795
What are you doing? Don't... Okay, okay.
406
00:20:28,062 --> 00:20:30,420
Ronald Reagan.
407
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:33,147
Ronald Reagan! Don't jump.
408
00:20:33,172 --> 00:20:35,241
The cat almost did what Daddy did.
409
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,166
Ronald Reagan!
410
00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:40,055
[Sighs] Ronald Reagan!
411
00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:43,498
- Oh, I've got an idea.
- What?
412
00:20:43,682 --> 00:20:45,581
- Where are you going?
- I'll be back.
413
00:20:54,397 --> 00:20:56,097
[Insect buzzing]
414
00:20:56,184 --> 00:20:57,331
Don't open a fresh can of balls
415
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,323
unless you plan on doing
something with it.
416
00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:02,768
He's not gonna eat tennis balls.
That's for dogs.
417
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:05,226
Dogs like tennis balls.
Cats don't like...
418
00:21:07,274 --> 00:21:10,642
Look at that. Great job.
419
00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:19,627
You've been a naughty
boy, Ronald Reagan.
420
00:21:19,652 --> 00:21:21,400
Just like the guy he's named after.
421
00:21:21,432 --> 00:21:22,752
[Chuckles]
422
00:21:24,026 --> 00:21:25,541
Good job, Dale.
423
00:21:25,566 --> 00:21:28,244
Nice work yourself, Chip.
424
00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,869
Nice work, Ronald Reagan.
425
00:21:31,787 --> 00:21:33,337
Hey, Ronald.
426
00:21:33,362 --> 00:21:34,928
He's bossy.
427
00:21:45,479 --> 00:21:47,746
I'm home.
428
00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:53,665
[Sloshing]
429
00:21:53,704 --> 00:21:56,171
Hey! We found the cat!
430
00:21:58,953 --> 00:22:03,203
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www.addic7ed.com
431
00:22:13,402 --> 00:22:14,968
432
00:22:15,018 --> 00:22:19,568
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