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1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,480
Wait, Bron-Bron,
2
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:06,950
does Chris Keith know you exist yet?
3
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,460
- No, but I think he senses me.
- Have you tried
4
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,520
dropping a pencil in front
of him like I taught you?
5
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:13,230
I think that's too adult.
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,860
No, it's only adult if you
pick it up with no hands.
7
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:16,200
IRENE: I can pick up a pencil with one foot
8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,860
and then sharpen it with the other.
9
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,500
And you don't have a boyfriend?
10
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,230
(laughing): I know, right?
11
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,040
I think you need to try Internet dating.
12
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,070
I don't know, my sister
had a really bad experience.
13
00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:26,940
They matched her up with,
like, a 300-pound guy.
14
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:28,670
Why would an Internet dating site
15
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,510
hook her up with a guy that's
so much smaller than her?
16
00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:33,380
(horn honks) Oh, there's my dad.
17
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,510
It's his weekend with me.
18
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,120
- See you next week.
- Bye.
19
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,420
- See ya.
- Bye.
20
00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:40,850
Why does Bronwen's dad look so familiar?
21
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,520
He sells fancy houses to rich people.
22
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,390
His face is on billboards and
park benches all over town.
23
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,130
He's Million Dollar Mike?
24
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,730
I've sat on his face a bunch of times!
25
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:52,030
I left my violin inside.
26
00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:54,170
But look, my dad got me this cute bag.
27
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,300
He had to cancel our
weekend away and felt bad.
28
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,440
Okay, girls, hit me with a quick one.
29
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,250
- Thanks.
- Hey!
30
00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:15,750
Hi.
31
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,990
Disregard the lollipop;
it's an oral fixation.
32
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,620
- Wow.
- You must be Bronwen's daddy.
33
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,990
I have heard so much about you.
34
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,430
But nothing about how
handsome you are in person.
35
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:26,100
(laughs)
36
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,500
And you must be Bronwen's
teacher, Ms., uh...
37
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,800
Ms. Davis. But it's, uh, Meredith to you.
38
00:01:31,810 --> 00:01:33,370
Meredith, oh, she braids your hair.
39
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:35,110
I was under the impression
that you were a student.
40
00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,370
And I'm under the impression
41
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,740
you're taking me to dinner Monday.
42
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,240
I'm gonna take you out to dinner Monday?
43
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:40,650
I mean, I hardly know you.
44
00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:41,710
Aha.
45
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,850
But I would love to.
46
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,180
Well, that would, uh,
that would be fun, uh...
47
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,750
just a heads up, since the divorce,
48
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,660
Bronwen has to approve
of any girl that I date.
49
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,430
You know, she's a daddy's girl,
so that's one rule I can't break
50
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,360
no matter how fast you get
51
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,100
to the center of that
52
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,000
- Tootsie Pop.
- Well, don't worry,
53
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,970
Bronwen and I are in Safety Patrol together
54
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,200
and we're very good friends.
55
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,940
I mean, if I had to have a sister,
56
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:07,510
and she had to be brunette,
I would want it to be Bronwen.
57
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:08,610
We're that close.
58
00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:10,910
Great. Well, if she says yes,
59
00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:14,350
you can get my number off of
any billboard or park bench.
60
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:15,980
- I'm just kidding.
- Oh.
61
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:17,720
I'm actually not kidding.
62
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,880
You can get my number off of
any billboard or park bench.
63
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,450
So I'll just keep my fingers crossed.
64
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:24,290
- Bye, Meredith.
- Bye, honey.
65
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,690
(both laugh)
66
00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:28,660
I'll see you on Monday.
67
00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:31,830
And I'll see you on Monday night.
68
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,300
(laughs)
69
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:37,300
Here. Now you know how to use it.
70
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,740
Ugh.
71
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:41,040
Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
72
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,570
Nah-nah, nah, nah-nah!
73
00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:47,140
Good news, everyone!
74
00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:49,710
The superintendent has just informed me
75
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,350
that it is time for our
yearly locker inspections.
76
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:56,220
I'm not in love with this responsibility,
77
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,790
but since my divorce, I'm
trying to remain positive.
78
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:01,590
Trying to see that glass as half full.
79
00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,090
Which it rarely is, as my roommate Ron
80
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,960
finishes my sodas when I doze off.
81
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,830
But it's all good!
82
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,970
It's all good.
83
00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:12,340
A grown man with a roommate is so...
84
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:13,340
Awesome.
85
00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,510
Right?
86
00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:18,180
So I've been too nervous to pull
the trigger on Internet dating.
87
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,880
But then Meredith inspired me.
88
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,080
So, I just asked my friends at
the Ferret Club for a good site,
89
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,820
and they suggested JustSomebody.org.
90
00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:28,490
And I... I filled in my
name and sex and I was done.
91
00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:31,160
That's all the information
you need to find a match?
92
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,790
(laughing): Yeah.
93
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,430
Just somebody that doesn't
ask a lot of questions.
94
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,890
And they don't match so
much as they "locate" others.
95
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:39,500
You know, I guess that's
their tagline anyway.
96
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:43,200
So, my first date is tomorrow night, and...
97
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,570
he is described as: male.
98
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,170
Oh...
99
00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:50,040
Ooh... I would never date online.
100
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,980
Too dangerous.
101
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,710
One minute you're meeting
a guy for U Peel 'Em Shrimp,
102
00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:55,050
and the next thing you know,
103
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,510
you're wrapped up in jumper cables,
104
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,920
trying to open a car trunk from the inside.
105
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,480
- Oh.
- I'm just saying,
106
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,520
you should write your
contact info on your arm.
107
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,790
That way the police will be able
to quickly identify your body.
108
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,590
CARL: Okay, Kim, if you don't mind,
109
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,330
I'd like to start with your
locker, as it's already open.
110
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:14,030
Sure, but be careful opening it, because
111
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,600
I keep a lot of stuff...
112
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,100
You're not even supposed to have a locker
113
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,700
in the teachers' lounge.
114
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,300
You are a student teacher.
115
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,370
Your locker should be with the students.
116
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,440
But I'm an adult.
117
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,540
It's okay.
118
00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:25,580
I'm used to messes.
119
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,240
My roommate Ron is a hoarder.
120
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:30,580
So I will just consider this
locker more than half full.
121
00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,680
Because it's all good.
122
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,880
It is all good.
123
00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:35,450
(singsongy): Oh, Bron-Bron...
124
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,590
I have huge news.
125
00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:40,760
What is the greatest thing that
you could ever possibly imagine
126
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,490
happening in your whole life
and then times it by three?
127
00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,630
I am considering dating your dad.
128
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,870
I know.
129
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,730
Let it sink in.
130
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,000
Get over the shock.
131
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,370
And then hug me.
132
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,740
Not a hugger, I get it!
133
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,340
So when I spoke to your dad,
134
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,740
he said that I would need
your approval to date him.
135
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:03,050
Which is hilarious because obviously,
136
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:05,320
as bestie FFs, I already know your answer.
137
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,220
It's a formality thing.
138
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:12,090
Sorry, but it would be weird
having my teacher date my dad.
139
00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,090
But I'm your friend
before I'm your teacher.
140
00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:16,390
I mean, who taught you how
to do that pencil trick?
141
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:18,800
And I was even gonna come
to your stupid music thing
142
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,560
on Friday, pending my availability.
143
00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:23,900
I think it will be better
if you don't date my dad.
144
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,910
That's so weird... for a
second I thought she said
145
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,240
don't date her dad.
146
00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,180
JOEL: Hey, Irene, what's up?
147
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,620
Uh, I need your help.
148
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,820
I finally filled out
my online dating profile
149
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,390
and I have my first date tomorrow at lunch.
150
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:48,460
His profile name is TvWatcher359.
151
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:52,390
Apparently I was not a match
with TvWatcher one through 358.
152
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,360
But you don't seem too excited.
153
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,270
Well, Ginny told me that
online dating is dangerous
154
00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:57,700
and that I should go to
Sears and get my portrait done
155
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,540
so that I have a cute picture
156
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:01,970
for the "In Memoriam" section
of next year's yearbook.
157
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,310
You know what? She's just being dramatic.
158
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,370
Okay, but maybe you could just teach me
159
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,540
some self-defense moves just in case.
160
00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,380
You know, I do a little
online dating, right?
161
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,680
And I... I haven't murdered
or tried to murder once.
162
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,980
You just gotta stay alert and
be aware of your surroundings.
163
00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:16,050
- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.
164
00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:17,820
- I can do that.
- Yeah.
165
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,660
- Yeah. Thanks, Joel. All right.
- No problem.
166
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:22,420
(Irene groans)
167
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,330
You know what, buddy? On second thought,
168
00:06:25,330 --> 00:06:27,460
maybe I'll tag along just to be extra safe.
169
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,700
(groans) Good idea.
170
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,570
Bronwen, here's the thing that
I love about our friendship:
171
00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:34,370
We don't just have
problems, we fix problems.
172
00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:37,510
And me being your teacher
is a fixable problem.
173
00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:38,940
Watch.
174
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:42,340
Principal Carl...
175
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,410
Just a sec, I'm trying
to loosen up this towel,
176
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,810
which is petrified,
177
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:46,880
so it'll fit in the garbage.
178
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,690
(groans) All part of the J-O-B.
179
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:50,990
Now, what can I do you for?
180
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:53,390
I was thinking that Bronwen over here
181
00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:56,560
might be limited in sixth grade,
and it might be a good idea
182
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,560
to promote her to seventh.
183
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,130
She gets straight As.
184
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:01,230
She knows more than everyone in the class.
185
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,860
(laughs) Even more than me sometimes.
186
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,570
I mean, I know more than
her... like, she's stupid
187
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,430
compared to me but smart for her class.
188
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,600
So, what do you say?
189
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,800
Well... uh...
190
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:10,940
it doesn't happen that often,
191
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,310
but I guess I could look into it.
192
00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:13,380
That would be so great.
193
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,440
- All right.
- Okay.
194
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:17,080
(both gibber playfully, laugh)
195
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,280
(sings in excitement)
196
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,780
Bron-Bron, isn't that amazing?
197
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:23,320
You get to go to seventh
grade, I get to date your dad.
198
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,750
It's win-win.
199
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,760
I am dizzy in the head on that one.
200
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,590
Where should we get our
Christmas card picture taken?
201
00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:32,230
I'm feeling something tropical.
202
00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:34,260
I want to stay in my grade with my friends.
203
00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:36,160
- I'll promote your friends.
- You're not understanding.
204
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,570
I am understanding.
205
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:40,300
I am bending over
backwards to date your dad
206
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,500
and not in the fun way.
207
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,200
I'll explain it later.
208
00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:44,910
Can you think for one second
how fun it would be for us
209
00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,110
if I dated your dad?
210
00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:48,180
We could be even better besties...
211
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:50,510
What I want is for you not to date my dad!
212
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,180
But why not? You know me.
213
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,120
I don't want you to date
him because I know you.
214
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,250
I know you date guys for their money
215
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,420
and I know that's why you're into my dad.
216
00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:01,720
Come on... we're friends.
217
00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:03,520
Then, if we're really
friends, you'll respect
218
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,630
my decision even if you don't like it.
219
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,020
I'm so proud of Irene
for going on this date.
220
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,450
I just can't believe a good friend
221
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,020
would deny me dating her dad.
222
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,120
Does Bronwen really think if I dated him
223
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,890
that I wouldn't be thinking about her, too?
224
00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:30,130
That I'm that self-centered?
225
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,030
Does it seem weird that Irene's
date hasn't shown up yet?
226
00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,430
I mean, he's like 30 minutes late.
227
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,930
I'm not self-centered.
228
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:37,670
If anything, I'm other-people-centered.
229
00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:38,700
(scoffs)
230
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,410
(sighs)
231
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:42,540
Hey.
232
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,170
Hey. Irene, I... I hate
233
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:48,410
to say this, but TvWatcher359
may not be coming.
234
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,280
Oh, but I planned all these
great conversation topics
235
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,750
of things we have in common.
236
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,890
Internet access, the
ability to speak English.
237
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:58,790
Ah... okay.
238
00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:00,320
But, um, hey.
239
00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,630
I... I would love to eat with you.
240
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:02,890
You know, just the two of us
241
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,800
having a nice lunch outside.
242
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,600
All right. (chuckles)
243
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,300
MEREDITH: Now I'm going
to teach you about Indians.
244
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,430
When the Americans
first came to the States,
245
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,900
the Indians were living there.
246
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:14,270
And the two groups quickly
became best friends.
247
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:18,840
But the Indians wanted to keep
all of the land to themselves.
248
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,510
And, yes, maybe the land was rich...
249
00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:24,250
in nutrients,
250
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,150
but that didn't have to be the only reason
251
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,650
the Americans wanted the land.
252
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,690
And the Indians really
should have known that...
253
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:31,590
being besties.
254
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:35,730
But instead they just
flat-out betrayed the gentle,
255
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:39,200
kind and super hot Americans.
256
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,230
Now, has, um, anyone learned
257
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,700
from the Indians' mistakes?
258
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,700
But the Indians were right.
259
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:48,970
The Americans were wrong.
260
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,610
(laughs) Well, I think the history books
261
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:51,840
would disagree with you on that.
262
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,580
Have you even read the history books?
263
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:55,010
I am the history books!
264
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,180
And you've left me no choice.
265
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,050
When I was cleaning yesterday,
266
00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:03,020
I found this very personal note
267
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,620
from you, Bronwen.
268
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,390
You, uh, want me to read it?
269
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,360
- I'd love it.
- You sure?
270
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,060
- Dead sure.
- Okay.
271
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:13,560
It is to Chris Keith.
272
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:15,200
(gasps)
273
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,830
And it says:
274
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,440
"Hi Chris, it's Bronwen.
275
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,340
I have a crush on you.
276
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:24,570
Wanna go out on a date?
277
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:28,240
Gotta go, I'm having my period."
278
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,880
Hmm, that's funny.
279
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,610
I don't remember writing
the note on the back
280
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,020
of a receipt for Spanx.
281
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,220
(school bell ringing, students laughing)
282
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,560
Mm, but it ended up being
pretty fun, actually.
283
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,060
I talked about fantasy novels
284
00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,370
and Joel talked about fantasy football.
285
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,840
Ironically, they both have
a character named Ladarius.
286
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,470
It was cool.
287
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,510
It was like, as soon as I said
my date wasn't gonna show up,
288
00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:57,670
he asked me to have lunch with him.
289
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:01,480
- Maybe he's into you.
- Kim!
290
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,110
(Kim gasps)
291
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:06,220
(sighs)
292
00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,580
Well, how did you leave
things at the end of lunch?
293
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,020
Well, he put the leftover
food in his baseball cap
294
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,790
and then he said, "Let's hang out again."
295
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:13,790
(excitedly chuckles)
296
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,390
He is definitely into you.
297
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:17,930
Friends never want to hang out again.
298
00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:19,830
Right?
299
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:23,200
Well, Joel's just lucky that
my real date didn't show up.
300
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,700
Was he lucky? Or did he ask you out
301
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:28,740
pretending to be somebody else?
302
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:31,310
Maybe he You've Got Mailed you.
303
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,370
He You've Got Mailed me?
304
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,340
He You've Got Mailed you.
305
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,550
I got You've Got Mailed?
306
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:38,010
You got You've Got Mailed!
307
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:39,550
CARL: You've got to be kidding me.
308
00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:42,450
Whose locker is this?
309
00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:45,550
I'm getting Chinese food
juice all over my pants.
310
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,620
Uh, I have a Tide Stick in my moped.
311
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,060
I'm fine, Kim.
312
00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:50,760
Do I need just a little
bit of encouragement?
313
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,200
Abso-tootly. This job is thankless.
314
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,000
But I own it.
315
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,330
Unlike my apartment, which is Ron's.
316
00:11:58,130 --> 00:11:59,500
(groaning)
317
00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:07,010
For the love of God, I
have a master's degree!
318
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:08,840
(door knocking) Hi.
319
00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:10,880
Hey. Thank you so much.
320
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,710
Good luck with the test on Friday.
321
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,980
- Hi.
- Hey.
322
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:14,950
Oh, hold up, little guy.
323
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,590
Here you go.
324
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:17,720
(laughs) It's a buyer's market.
325
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,520
The APR has never been lower.
326
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,660
A carpenter has his hammer. I
have magnets with my face on them.
327
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,490
(laughing): So...
328
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:24,660
So I... I got your message
329
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,060
and I'm thrilled that you called.
330
00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,660
But I'm hoping everything's okay.
331
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,130
Well, that depends.
332
00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,030
It's about my number one student, Bronwen.
333
00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:32,370
Can I get you anything?
334
00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:34,400
A glass of wine? Scotch?
335
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,800
You keep alcohol here in the classroom?
336
00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:37,770
Of course not. (shuts drawer)
337
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:40,640
Mike, I asked you here today because
338
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,080
I'm very concerned about Bronwen.
339
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,380
As you know, I... I care very much for her,
340
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,310
and I'm worried
341
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:52,520
that she has some... pretty
serious issues with you...
342
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,360
finding love.
343
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,290
I am so sorry.
344
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,790
I really want to enjoy this, but...
345
00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:59,930
your heel is digging into my thigh.
346
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,960
- Oh, sorry.
- Might have broken some skin.
347
00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:06,230
Look, I understand where she's coming from.
348
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,940
If I were her, I would want
to keep you all to myself, too.
349
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,540
I would just want to...
350
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,880
pull you in, hold you tight,
351
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,180
trim your sideburns and...
352
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,580
never let you go.
353
00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:18,410
But it's not healthy.
354
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,180
She's the kid.
355
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:21,780
You're the dad.
356
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,690
- Maybe you're right.
- Mm-hmm.
357
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,920
You know, I should... trim my sideburns.
358
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,190
But then I'd have to change
359
00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:30,060
the... the benches and the magnets,
360
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,790
and that would be a big hassle. Sure.
361
00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:34,000
(indistinct conversation)
362
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,740
Oh, hey, sweetheart!
363
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:42,940
Hi.
364
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,240
What are you doing here, Meredith?
365
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,710
Oh, I'm just hanging with your dad.
366
00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:49,710
Honey, Meredith really
put things in perspective.
367
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,950
I think we both need to be
more open with how Daddy dates.
368
00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:54,320
Mmm, that's such a good point.
369
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,480
- Well, you made it.
- Oh, I did.
370
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,920
This is gonna be so good for us.
371
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,320
Because then I can teach
you after school, too.
372
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,420
Like I never finished that
lesson about the Indians.
373
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:06,260
When the Indians told the
Americans they couldn't
374
00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:09,760
have any of their land,
the Americans took the land
375
00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:11,470
anyway.
376
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,100
So get in here, you!
377
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,640
Come on! Hurry! We want
to take you for ice cream.
378
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,270
Come on...
379
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:17,840
(groans)
380
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,510
See? Kind of pays off not having boobs.
381
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,910
(starts engine)
382
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:25,510
One big, happy family.
383
00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:33,070
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
384
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,540
I figured out what you did.
385
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:37,810
You are TvWatcher359.
386
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,680
No...
387
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,480
Shh. It's okay.
388
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,950
You You've Got Mailed
me, and I think it's cute.
389
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:47,420
- I... I wish I could take credit...
- That makes me feel so much better.
390
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,560
You know, I haven't been in a
relationship since I got dumped
391
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,290
at an Earth, Wind & Fire reunion concert.
392
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,260
Actually, it was just Fire 'cause
393
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,630
Earth and Wind got in a fender
bender on the way to the fair.
394
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,260
But I am so happy that it was you
395
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:58,600
and that I didn't get stood up again.
396
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,770
Guilty.
397
00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,270
Yeah, that was me.
398
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:03,700
Yeah, all the way. 100%.
399
00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,710
Looking for sex online, you know?
400
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:08,080
I get it. I know I'm your type:
401
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,490
smart, skinny, the slightest
hint of spinal curvature.
402
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,740
Men love curves.
403
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,540
And don't get me wrong. I mean,
404
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,910
we would be fierce lovers.
405
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,580
But...
406
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:20,350
we've been friends a long time, Joel,
407
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,020
and I think it would
be a mistake to ruin it.
408
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,120
Plus, I have a very strict
409
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,790
don't-poop-where-you-eat policy.
410
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,320
I learned that from my ferrets.
411
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,590
This is tough, but...
412
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:32,730
I understand.
413
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,330
Okay.
414
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,360
Hey.
415
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,330
How'd you come up with the
name TvWatcher359 anyway?
416
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,070
Great question. Um, I...
417
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:45,540
'Cause I have a TV and
I watch it, you know?
418
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:49,180
And then, um, my... I was born on March...
419
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,640
59th.
420
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:57,380
MEREDITH: I know it's weird that
your teacher is dating your dad.
421
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,690
But you're more mature
than a lot of adults I know.
422
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,360
So... we're gonna get through this,
423
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,260
and we're gonna be even
better friends in the end.
424
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:11,560
Also, you're so pretty and skinny.
425
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:14,770
- Are we okay?
- Yeah.
426
00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,840
When all is said and done,
427
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,110
if anybody's gonna date my
dad, I guess I'm glad it's you.
428
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,980
Thank you. (chuckles)
429
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,980
Me, too.
430
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,110
(bus brake hisses)
431
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,650
(exhales) Learn from me, Lily.
432
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,480
It is going so well. We're going away
433
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,350
for the weekend, staying at a
five-star resort on the water.
434
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,820
Wait, you guys are
going away this weekend?
435
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,120
Yeah. Friday after school. You
want me to nick you some soap?
436
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,030
This is why Bronwen didn't
want you to date her dad.
437
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:41,830
He's gonna miss our violin recital,
438
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,300
like he misses everything.
439
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,800
That's why Bronwen has so much nice stuff.
440
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,200
He buys her things instead of showing up.
441
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,340
But in a bad way?
442
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,240
Yes. She wants him there.
443
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,140
That's why she doesn't approve
of anybody dating her dad.
444
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,940
She barely sees him as it is.
445
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,380
- But in a ba...
- Yes!
446
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:05,180
- In a bad way!
- Okay.
447
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:09,590
(sighs)
448
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:19,070
"Dear Principal Carl,
449
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:21,870
you are an amazing leader."
450
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,640
(exhales)
451
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,070
(mouthing) "I appreciate your dedication,
452
00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:28,470
and I hope I can be just like you
453
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,340
when I get out of school."
454
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,710
(sucks air through teeth)
455
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:32,880
Oh, boy.
456
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,100
That's a good punch there.
457
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,530
Carl Maurice Gaines,
458
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:37,570
you are appreciated.
459
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:40,140
(sobbing)
460
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,320
- Hey.
- Hey.
461
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,860
I got an e-mail from TvWatcher359.
462
00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:54,090
Oh. Okay. You... so, you got my e-mail.
463
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:55,830
Um... what did I...
464
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:58,210
Don't worry. It was from the real one.
465
00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,420
Yeah. Apparently,
466
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:00,920
he got stuck on a business trip.
467
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,720
But thank you for being so nice.
468
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,120
No problem.
469
00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,620
Well, we... we rescheduled the date.
470
00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:07,890
- Cool.
- Yeah.
471
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,360
I just got to wire him some money
472
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:11,330
so that he can get back to America.
473
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,730
Wait, stop. D... don't do that!
474
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,670
(indistinct chatter and applause)
475
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,800
Guess my dad's not coming.
476
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,010
Hey, hey. I, uh, brought you
477
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:36,310
a vintage bottle of champagne
and some pencils so you can
478
00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,440
show me that trick you were talking about.
479
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,010
Yes. (chuckles)
480
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,780
How about after the recital?
481
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,750
Well, we got to head to the hotel.
482
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,780
Traffic's gonna be bad.
I don't want to miss
483
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,420
the, uh, couples massage that I booked
484
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,490
before our ten-course tasting menu.
485
00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:53,020
It's PETA-friendly but barely.
486
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,260
Oh. That sounds...
487
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:59,030
so good, but, you know, I wouldn't mind
488
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,770
skipping the massage for Bronwen's recital.
489
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,370
So why don't we just go to the recital.
490
00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:04,040
Then we'll go to the hotel.
491
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,800
I'll be okay with only...
492
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,940
eight courses for dinner.
493
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,010
Oh, I left her a pair of
diamond earrings on her chair,
494
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,740
so she's cool. She's not gonna care.
495
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:14,280
Of course she's gonna care.
Wait, how many carats were
496
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,350
the earrings? Uh, don't tell
me. I don't want to know.
497
00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,980
- She wants you there.
- Relax, there's gonna be plenty of recitals.
498
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,650
Yeah, but she's been practicing like crazy
499
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:23,450
for this recital. She thought
you were gonna be there.
500
00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:26,020
And... I don't want to be
the reason that you're not.
501
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:29,460
- You should be there.
- Wow, I thought we had a connection,
502
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:33,430
but you're starting to sound an
awful lot like my, uh, ex-wife.
503
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:36,000
Is that... ? That's funny.
Well, maybe she was right.
504
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:37,690
You know, I teach here,
505
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:38,760
so I see a lot of duds,
506
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,260
and Bronwen is not one of them.
507
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:45,130
Which is why...
508
00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:48,500
(groans) I am not gonna go away with you
509
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,770
this weekend.
510
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:54,470
And, um...
511
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:56,440
and I'm not gonna date you either.
512
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,140
And, frankly, you
shouldn't be dating anybody
513
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:01,210
until you figure out how to make Bronwen
514
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:02,750
your number one top priority
515
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,180
because there's nothing more important.
516
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:09,120
Roman, come get this stuff off of this...
517
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,160
American sports car.
518
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,620
Roman, don't scratch it.
519
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,090
Hi.
520
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:25,630
Just wanted to let you
know I dumped your dad.
521
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:26,800
What?
522
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,400
He's not rich enough for me.
523
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,200
He has way too much baggage,
that baggage being you.
524
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:43,040
Thanks.
525
00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:44,280
You guys, stop talking to me.
526
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,410
You have a concert.
527
00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,280
Go get 'em, girls.
528
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,820
(applause)
529
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:53,390
That's my girl playing
the violin right there.
530
00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:55,220
It's a buyer's market right now.
531
00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:56,420
Hey. What are you doing here?
532
00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:58,760
Looking for some rich dads to shake down?
533
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,130
No, I'm just here supporting
the students I love
534
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,930
and their artistic endeavors.
535
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,170
(playing off-key)
536
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:08,350
They suck. I'm going out for a smoke.
537
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:10,519
Synced By YesCool - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com
538
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:15,119
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