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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,953 ♪ You must remember this 2 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,554 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,757 ♪ A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,749 ♪ The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:26,799 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 6 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,829 Now, are you quite certain that you're fit to travel? 7 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,309 We're fine, Mrs Bale, fully recovered. 8 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,632 - Thank you for looking after us. - You were no trouble at all. 9 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,188 - Good. - I didn't mean you. 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,590 - Oh. - Well, off we go, back to the big city. 11 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:53,275 Now you've retired, why don't you move here permanently? 12 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,954 I haven't retired, I just don't go to work. 13 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,076 - Is there a difference? - Oh, yes. 14 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,118 - What is it? - Lionel knows. 15 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,713 What? 16 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,792 Erm... 17 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,308 So do you think there's intelligent life in space or not? 18 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,630 - I know there is. - You can't know. 19 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,952 Well, somehow I know the difference between giving up work and retiring. 20 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,634 You're not still wittering on about that? 21 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,234 Yes, I am. "Lionel knows." 22 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:35,519 Well, Lionel didn't, and found himself making a complete fool of himself. 23 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,751 Mrs Bale said it was a very interesting answer. 24 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,913 She was humouring me. Thought I was still light-headed from that bug we had. 25 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,114 - (Sighs) - So what is the difference 26 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,998 - between giving up work and retiring? - I don't know. 27 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,789 But I know there is one. Oh, it's nice to be home, isn't it? 28 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,632 Yes, it is. 29 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,715 Why does Mrs Bale always pack a box of vegetables? 30 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:12,078 She doesn't think they sell them in London. Come on, I'll put the kettle on. 31 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,479 Ah. Anybody home? 32 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,028 - The girls will be at work. - Of course. 33 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,951 (Man) Good morning. 34 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,474 - Good morning. - Good morning. 35 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,949 You must be Jean and Lionel. 36 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,393 I'm Paul. 37 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,994 Your friendly neighbourhood burglar. 38 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,150 I'm Paul. I've been going out with Judith. 39 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,992 Oh! That Paul. 40 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:47,313 As ever was. I was going to make a cup of tea before I went. Would you like one? 41 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,197 - Thank you. - Thank you. 42 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,952 (Mouths) 43 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,554 Sit yourselves down. Shan't be a tick. 44 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,672 - Anyone like a biscuit? - Er... no, thank you. 45 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,751 Custard tart, Lionel? Judy warned me not to eat any on pain of death. 46 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,637 No, thank you. 47 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,514 Hope I didn't come as too much of a surprise 48 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,070 but I didn't have to be in work until late so I had a lie-in. 49 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,912 Oh, no, that's... 50 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,956 Well, we're not shocked or anything. 51 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,713 Shocked? Oh, I see, yes, that kind of shocked. 52 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,553 After all, we're, er... we're not out of the Ark. 53 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,392 No, of course not. 54 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,756 Judy says you can be quite young for your age. Sometimes. 55 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,353 Does she? 56 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,236 Erm... how's your wife? 57 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,073 Fine. So far as I know. 58 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,390 She's at Southampton University. 59 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,552 - A mature student. - You don't see her often, then? 60 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,552 Not so much as never, really. 61 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,676 Still, these things do happen. 62 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,953 Yes. 63 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,395 - I got divorced. - Did you? 64 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,436 Seemed the thing to do. 65 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,238 - Did it? - Yes, but Lionel didn't have children, 66 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,515 so there were no custody battles. 67 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,637 Well, mine are 19 and 16. Bit old for custody. 68 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,153 Yes, I suppose so. 69 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,549 There's something cleaner about divorce. 70 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,596 - Cleaner? - Erm... 71 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,398 Absolute, I mean. 72 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,994 It really, er, ends the chapter, doesn't it? 73 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,877 Ready for the next chapter. 74 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,950 If there is to be another chapter. 75 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,395 - I'm very fond of Judy. - I didn't mention Judy. 76 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,311 Call me highly intuitive. 77 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,756 - We're very fond of Judy. - Yes. Yes, of course you are. 78 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:35,709 I don't mean to sound evasive but I can't give you the answers you're looking for. 79 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,951 - No one said anything about answers. - I did. 80 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:42,430 I'm not a very forward-looking person at the moment. 81 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,798 I don't fall into patterns, I just live life as it goes, see what happens. 82 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,678 I said I couldn't give the answers you were looking for. 83 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,716 Well, that's very, er... 84 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,479 - honest of you. - Not reassuring, but honest. 85 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,718 Sorry. 86 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,236 I've got to go. I'm covering a basketball match in Manchester. 87 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,709 Oh. You're a sports journalist. 88 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,351 Yeah. Only sort to be. On the move all the time. Here, there, everywhere. 89 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,034 - Do you like cricket, Lionel? - Yes, I do. 90 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,237 I'll fix you up with tickets for the Lord's Test in the summer. 91 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,673 Oh. 92 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,671 Thanks very much. 93 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,876 Seems a long time away, summer. 94 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,191 Yes. Well, nice to have met you both, anyway. 95 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,714 I'll see you out. Oh, do you have a bag? 96 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,234 No. No, I don't have a bag. 97 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,311 - Bye, Lionel. - Bye! 98 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,916 (Whispers) He doesn't have a bag. 99 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,478 (Chuckles) 100 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,152 (Chuckles) 101 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,076 It's the Australians this year. 102 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,833 - Doing what? - Cricket, Test match. 103 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,554 Oh, he'll forget about those tickets. 104 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,632 - How do you know? - He seems that sort of chap. 105 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,472 I see. (Chuckles) 106 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,676 - Quite personable. - Oh, yes. 107 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,276 Quite personable. 108 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,433 - Where are you going? - To get the stuff from the car. 109 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,193 - Do you have to do that now? - I just thought I would. 110 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,113 It's no good burying your head in the sand. 111 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:22,193 - We have a situation. - You sound like NASA control. 112 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,750 You know what I mean. You heard him, he's a gypsy. 113 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,310 He's probably going to Manchester in a horse-drawn caravan. 114 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,358 - Where are you going now? - To get the stuff from the car 115 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,795 or to bury my head in the sand. 116 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,836 You don't care, do you? 117 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,869 Yes, I do care, as a matter of fact. 118 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,272 But it's time you stopped being a mother hen and let Judy get on with her own life. 119 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,713 - Is it? - Yes. 120 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,429 - What if she makes a mess of it? - Then we help her to pick up the pieces. 121 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,476 You think she will make a mess of it. 122 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,597 How should I know? I'm not Mystic Meg. 123 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,434 I'm not asking you to look into a crystal ball, I'm asking you for an opinion. 124 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,149 Well, some people make a mess of their lives, some don't. 125 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,118 - Oh, that's very profound. - Well, it's true. 126 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,670 Fate, luck, call it what you like. I know I made a mess of mine. 127 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,716 Oh, thank you very much. 128 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,916 No, not this bit. 129 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,798 The big slab of it without you in it. 130 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,910 Your letter never arrives in Korea 131 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,833 so I act like a... a complete twerp. 132 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,038 I assume you've lost interest and don't even bother to write to you to find out. 133 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:31,159 - That is messing up a life. - I should have written again. 134 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,071 - I should have written. - I should. 135 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,116 - Anyway, we didn't. - No. 136 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,715 - But we did meet up again. - Yes. 137 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,234 All we missed out on was about 40 years. 138 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,436 All right, but we did meet again. 139 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,875 We got a happy ending out of our mess. 140 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,076 Yeah, we did. 141 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,116 So some messes do come right. 142 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,191 - Against the odds, yes. - Good. 143 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,236 Yes, good. 144 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,754 But do you think that Judy's won't? 145 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,434 Sorry for Alistair? Why? 146 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,830 Well, he really is trying to get you back, isn't he? 147 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,879 I thought sending a herald round to ask you out to dinner was sweet. 148 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,111 His feather was falling out and his tights were baggy. 149 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,670 Then turning up himself on horseback, in armour. 150 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,513 - Which squeaked. - You could have oiled him. 151 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,956 - That's the trouble with Alistair. - He doesn't normally squeak. 152 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,510 He only wants me when I'm not available. When I am... 153 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,909 Oh. Jean and Lionel are back. 154 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,753 Oh, yeah. I wonder when they got back. 155 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,035 I wonder. 156 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,509 I hate it when you smile like that. 157 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,357 - (Judy) Hi, Mum! - Hello, love! 158 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,639 Ah. 159 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,678 - Hello, Sandy. - Nice break in the country? 160 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,513 - We spent most of it in bed. - Oh, yes? 161 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,472 - With a bug. - Oh. Are you feeling better now? 162 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,473 Well, I'm working and Lionel's back on the custard tarts, so we must be. 163 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,438 You're working? I thought that you'd... 164 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,069 - Retired? Yes, I have. - So why would you be working? 165 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,116 I thought I'd formalise everything. 166 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,671 You two will run the place and I'll stay on in an advisory capacity. 167 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,719 It's all right, I don't intend to sit on a perch in the office every day. 168 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,870 When would you be in the office? 169 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,554 Well, if I'm needed in an advisory capacity. 170 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,871 But you wouldn't need to come into the office for that. 171 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,916 - Well, I might. - Might you? 172 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,833 - If I'm needed. - In an advisory capacity? 173 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,070 Yes, I don't want to lose touch altogether. 174 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,310 - No. - No, of course not. 175 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:44,394 I could always turn up and snoop around disguised as a charlady. (Laughs) 176 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,798 I feel unwanted. 177 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,475 - It's not that, it's... - You want to run things your way. 178 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,518 Well, you can. That's why I've given up work. 179 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,034 I just haven't retired, that's all. 180 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,829 So that's that. Oh, by the way, we met Paul. 181 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,632 Excuse me. 182 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,268 - Did you? - Yes, he'd had a lie-in. 183 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,914 - How did you get on? - Oh, very well. 184 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,594 - I think he's a nice chap. - Yes? 185 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,796 Very personable. 186 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,953 I bet the first thing you and Sandy do is have the office redecorated. 187 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:27,355 I mean, how can you stop going to work and not retire? 188 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,356 That's what Mrs Bale asked. 189 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,034 - What did Jean say? - She left it to me to explain. 190 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,712 How did you do? 191 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,511 Mrs Bale's eyes glazed over after the first minute. 192 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,717 I mean, not that Jean's really doing either. 193 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,635 Did you know, she's decided to stay on in an advisory capacity? 194 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,358 No, I didn't. 195 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,956 Is that an official way of saying she can stick her nose in when she feels like it? 196 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,271 - I wouldn't put it quite like that. - How would you put it? 197 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,636 - Yes, I'd put it exactly like that. - (Chuckles) 198 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,632 - I can't keep her locked up. - I suppose not. 199 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,869 - Glass of wine? - Ooh, yes, please. 200 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,509 - I think we're confined to the kitchen. - Why's that? 201 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,229 Because the inquisition is at work in the living room. 202 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:19,519 It started quietly. "Oh, by the way, we met Paul this morning." Very casual. 203 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,278 - You've met Paul? - Yes. 204 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,318 - Why? - What do you think of him? 205 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,072 He's nice enough. 206 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,835 - Nice enough for what? - Just... generally. 207 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,275 You're not worried as well, are you? 208 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,828 - As well? - Oh, come on, you know Jean. 209 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,879 If Judy were to start going out with the Pope she'd worry. 210 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,598 I don't think the Pope's allowed to go out with girls. 211 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,274 - You know what I mean. - I do, unfortunately. 212 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,831 - So this is where the drinkers gather. - We're keeping out of the firing line. 213 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,717 Is this half-time or what? 214 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,677 We ended up discussing whether you and I would get the office redecorated. 215 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,036 All she had to say about Paul is that he was a nice chap. 216 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,475 - That's not like her. - That's what I thought. 217 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,915 - (Doorbell) - (Jean) I'll get it! 218 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,958 That's probably the private detective she's hired. 219 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,951 Don't you start. 220 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,759 - Have you had a word with her? - We have lots. 221 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,796 I mean a well-chosen one. 222 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,316 I think you should credit your mother with some discretion. 223 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,595 Not her strong point. 224 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,035 - It's Alistair. - Is he on a horse? 225 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,314 - No, he's not. - What's he dressed as? 226 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,595 - As Alistair. - Where is he? 227 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,148 He's hanging upside down in the attic. 228 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,879 He's in the living room, he wants to talk to us. 229 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:40,431 - By us, you mean Judy. - I don't think we have a lot to talk about. 230 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,476 We'll never know if we stay here. 231 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,710 - He said us. - Perhaps he was being polite. 232 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,394 If we barge in and he does want Judy... 233 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,516 Well, I'll go and ask. 234 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,637 I'm sorry, Alistair. Do you want to talk to Judy? 235 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,950 - Of course. - I'll send her in. 236 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,598 No, but... 237 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,755 - Well? - Yes, thank you. Yourself? 238 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:11,188 - Mum said that you wanted to talk to me. - Yes, I do. 239 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,192 - Go on, then. - I want to talk to Jean as well. 240 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,633 I see. 241 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,030 - Mum! - I want to talk to everybody. 242 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,076 Lionel, Sandy! 243 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,879 I did say that you didn't just want to talk to me. 244 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,599 - It's not that... - I said he said us. 245 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,910 Talk about overcomplicating things. 246 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,150 - Hello, Alistair. - Hi, Li. Hi, gorgeous. 247 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,913 - (Both) Hello. - (Alistair) Oh! (Laughs) 248 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,433 Oh, it's just like family, isn't it? 249 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,308 What a nice thing to say. What is it you want to talk about? 250 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,356 I'm engaged. 251 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,879 You know, as in... engaged. 252 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,118 To be married! 253 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,351 - Well, congratulations, Alistair. - Thanks, Li! 254 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,271 I am open to hugs. 255 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,316 Oh, yes, of course. 256 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,312 - Congratulations, Alistair. - Thank you. 257 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,153 - (Sandy) Congratulations, Alistair. - Thanks. 258 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,879 Judy? No hard feelings? 259 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,275 No. No, no, of course not. 260 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,116 I was just, erm... 261 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,589 Well, it's all a bit sudden, isn't it? 262 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,069 You know me. Impulsive is my middle name. 263 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:26,358 I know about your impulses but marriage never seemed to be one of them. 264 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,353 Two weeks ago you were dressed in armour pledging your troth to Judy. 265 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,876 - But she didn't troth back. - I did say how hard you were trying. 266 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,191 Yes, I thought that, even if you did look ridiculous. 267 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:42,274 Hey, I was trying, but a guy can only take no just so many times. 268 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,477 I don't remember you actually proposing marriage. 269 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,870 - You wouldn't even come out to dinner. - We did all that, remember? 270 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,916 But why suddenly rush into marriage? 271 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,718 As the song says... 272 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,870 ♪ Some enchanted evening ♪ 273 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,633 Well, it must have been. What's she like? 274 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,631 Will you stop doing that? 275 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,996 We shouldn't be quizzing him, it's none of our business. 276 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,036 - We're family. - We are not. 277 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:09,591 But you are, Li. Which is why I wanted to tell you about Mercury. 278 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,272 Mercury? 279 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,749 Well, that's her name. 280 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,592 Mercury? 281 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,956 Yes. 282 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,190 Oh. 283 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,989 I want you all to meet her. How does dinner tomorrow grab you? 284 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,798 - Ah... - We'd love it. 285 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,677 - I'm not family. - You are. 286 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,433 - You'll come? - Rather! 287 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,478 - Judy? - I wouldn't miss it for the world. 288 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,552 Sandy, er... what are you doing this evening? 289 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,276 I don't believe you asked that. 290 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,194 Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, you'll keep an eye on Judy, won't you? 291 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,111 Console her, you mean? 292 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,270 Well, yes. 293 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,396 - Did I say something? - Don't ask me. 294 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:06,156 Alistair, Judy's not heartbroken. She's got a relationship of her own going. 295 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,595 Oh, that's right. George, isn't it? 296 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,956 No, Paul. We've met him, haven't we, Lionel? 297 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,510 Mm. He's going to get me tickets for the Lord's Test. 298 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,838 - Is he? - Yes, he's a really nice chap. 299 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,911 We took to him straightaway, didn't we? 300 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,468 - Did we? - Well, I did. 301 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,158 Lionel takes longer to sum people up than I do. 302 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,198 No, I like Paul very much. And Judy likes him too. 303 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,236 Well, she's a great girl. 304 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,276 Then why are you letting her go? 305 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,590 - He's engaged. - Well, let, then. 306 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,956 Even a guy like me runs out of ideas eventually, Jean. 307 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,634 I suppose I just wasn't what she wanted. 308 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,396 Look, let me be frank. You've not got engaged on the rebound, have you? 309 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,436 - Really! - Let me be frank as well. 310 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,159 You'll know the answer when you meet Mercury. 311 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,869 Yes, talking of which, could Judy bring Paul along? 312 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,076 - She might not want to. - Of course she would. 313 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,391 Fine, then. I'll, er... l'll e-mail you the details. 314 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,473 - What's wrong with phoning? - Li, move with the times, please. 315 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,199 - See you tomorrow. Ciao. - Bye, Alistair. 316 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,236 I'll go and start dinner. 317 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,880 (Alistair) Bye, Judy. Look forward to meeting Paul. 318 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,110 (Judy) What do you mean? 319 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,758 Mum? 320 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,594 Mum, what did he mean he's looking forward to meeting Paul? 321 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,352 She's in the kitchen. 322 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,989 And pleading the Fifth Amendment, I decline to answer. 323 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,194 Why is Alistair looking forward to meeting Paul? 324 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,714 I just thought you'd like to take him tomorrow. 325 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,633 - You've invited him, haven't you? - Not personally. 326 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,073 Why? 327 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,153 If Alistair's showing off this Mercury, I thought you'd like to show off Paul. 328 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,277 He's not a trophy. Besides, you don't even like him. 329 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,715 I do, I told you, I thought he was nice. 330 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,756 Oh, yes, and that's all you said. 331 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,469 Which means you were being diplomatic, which means you don't like him. 332 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,952 - Did you hear that? - Yes. Spot-on, wasn't it? 333 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,073 No. 334 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,390 You didn't have a good word to say for him. 335 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,755 - I said he's very personable. - Exactly. 336 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,796 What were you saying to Alistair? 337 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,758 "He's a really nice chap. We took to him straightaway." 338 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,355 - Well, I like Alistair. - Against my better judgment, so do I. 339 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,398 But if there's any logic in that remark I fail to see it. 340 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:24,270 Well, we know Alistair. He's got his faults but he's been very kind to this family. 341 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,318 I still don't see why, just because you... 342 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,030 - You're not? - In his heart it's always been Judy. 343 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,554 He's just got engaged to another woman. 344 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,076 Yes, but he's a bit of a fly-by-night, it mightn't last. 345 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,754 And you want a bit of a fly-by-night for Judy? 346 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,354 At least he's a nice fly-by-night. 347 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,796 I give up, I really do. 348 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,155 I wonder what this Mercury's like. 349 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,028 I'm not sure I can actually bring myself to call anyone Mercury. 350 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,116 It could be worse. 351 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,634 She could be called British Telecom. 352 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,594 - (Knock on door) - Come in. 353 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,716 - I'm ready. - I'm ageing. 354 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,995 This is taking longer and longer. 355 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,276 - What? - Is that it? 356 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,791 - What's wrong with it? - It's bordering on the matronly. 357 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,956 You're as bad as Mum. You both expect me to get all glammed up 358 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,996 just to show Alistair what he's missing. 359 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,834 No. I expect you to get all glammed up to show Paul what he's got. 360 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,559 Well, Paul can't come. He phoned. 361 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,473 He's got to cover an ice hockey game in Sheffield. 362 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,552 Oh, I see. Rather short notice, isn't it? 363 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,278 What do you mean by that? 364 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:47,956 Nothing. I'd have thought Paul would have known what he was doing tonight. 365 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,110 What if war had broken out? 366 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,156 - A war? - Yes. 367 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,629 - What war? - I don't know, some war. 368 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,759 If Paul were a war correspondent, he'd be sent off at short notice. 369 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,913 I suppose he would. But it's not on the same scale as an ice hockey match. 370 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,755 It's the same principle. Journalists get sent places at short notice. 371 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,679 - This hasn't happened before, has it? - No, it hasn't happened before. 372 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,950 - Look, Paul is a nice bloke. - Course he is. 373 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,110 It's only one evening. 374 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,431 - Now don't say that you're fond of me. - Why not? 375 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,876 Because that's what Mum says when she thinks I'm going out with a disaster. 376 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,635 - I didn't say that Paul was a disaster. - No, fair enough. 377 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,508 You'd better call Jean "Mum" and me "Mother". 378 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,670 So you're still wearing that, then? 379 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,593 - Well, it's comfortable. - Comfortable? 380 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,990 Why not slip into a beige cardie and have done with it? 381 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,913 I'll take one with me in case it turns cold. 382 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,275 This is a very defeatist attitude. 383 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:52,195 I'm not defeated. Paul can't come. I'm not interested in impressing anybody else. 384 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,192 Whatever you say. Even so... 385 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,993 Be honest. What chance have I got of out-glamming 386 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,436 - someone called Mercury? - You don't know that she's glamorous. 387 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,080 I bet she makes Claudia Schiffer look dowdy. 388 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,072 - Even so... - And she'll speak eight languages. 389 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,276 - Even so... - Stop saying "even so", 390 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,828 I'm too old for those kind of games. 391 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,876 Even so... 392 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,476 I'll go and get changed. 393 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,593 (Quiet chatter, gentle piano music) 394 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,912 - Are we early? - No, we're unfashionably punctual. 395 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,597 - I think I'll just go to the loo. - Yes, me too. 396 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,718 Why do women always go to the loo in droves? 397 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,270 - I wouldn't call two a drove. - Well, collectively, then. 398 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,715 Judy's nervous about meeting Mercury. 399 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,360 - Why should she be? - Well, I ask you. Mercury? 400 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,396 - It's just a name. - Of sorts. 401 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,835 You're gonna hate her on sight, aren't you? 402 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,434 - I don't know yet. - Yes, you do. 403 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,197 I suppose Judy wouldn't be nervous at all if she was called Gert. 404 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,236 Nobody's called Gert any more. 405 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,073 I didn't think anybody was called Mercury. 406 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,312 It's a shame Paul had to cover that ice hockey match in Sheffield. 407 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,152 Yes. 408 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,028 - Why do you say yes like that? - I didn't say it like anything. 409 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,031 I meant, yes, it's a shame. 410 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,076 Lionel, you didn't. 411 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,916 - I wasn't going to tell you. - Tell me what? 412 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,231 - I was reading the paper... - He's in it. What's he done? 413 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:32,598 No, he's not in it. But the sports fixtures are. 414 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,956 There isn't an ice hockey match in Sheffield tonight. 415 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,190 - Oh, dear. - Yeah. 416 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,874 - That's what I thought. - Does Judy know? 417 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,030 I don't think she reads the sports pages. 418 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,873 You're not still expecting those tickets for Lord's? 419 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,679 - No. - "Let her get on with her own life." 420 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,716 - I know. - So do we tell her? 421 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,109 (Whispers) They're coming back. 422 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,193 - You both look very serious. - Not at all. 423 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,919 We were laughing at something Lionel said. 424 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,956 Oh, what was that? 425 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,074 - I'm not a sneak by nature. - I don't think that's very funny. 426 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,958 No, I was just prefacing a statement. 427 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,110 - Which is the joke. - It isn't a joke. 428 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,988 Judy... I think there's a time to sneak. 429 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,399 This, erm, ice hockey game that Paul was supposed to be covering. 430 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,430 - There isn't one. - What? 431 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,078 There are no ice hockey fixtures at all. 432 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,352 I didn't pry. I didn't butt in. I didn't make a phone call. 433 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,273 I just happened to look at the sports pages. 434 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,557 - Oh, I see. - Are toads taking over the world? 435 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,518 I'm sorry, love. I didn't like him, but I am sorry. 436 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,158 I said that you didn't. 437 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,278 I'm all right. It was never gonna be the romance of the century. 438 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:56,113 I just hope the next time he covers the rugby 439 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,590 he gets trampled on by the entire English pack. 440 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,798 It's Mercury time. 441 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,636 Judy, if you don't want to do this... 442 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:10,157 Mum, I can't miss seeing the woman that can make Alistair propose. 443 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,312 - Lionel, your mouth's open. - Sorry. 444 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,636 - Hello. - Hello. 445 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,591 Hi, guys. 446 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,235 Hello, Alistair. We thought that was Mercury. 447 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,914 What, the plain girl? (Laughs) 448 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,956 Hey, it's great to see you all. 449 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,277 Oh, sorry, sorry. Mercury's not coming. 450 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,279 Well, why? 451 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,396 The engagement's off. 452 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,392 - That must be some sort of record. - Lionel! 453 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,155 Lionel's right. I didn't have time to buy the engagement ring. 454 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,630 - Think of it as a saving. - Cold feet, Alistair? 455 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,996 No, apparently it all suddenly seemed like a bad idea. 456 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,959 - What do you mean by apparently? - It was Mercury who broke it off. 457 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,235 - I see. - Did she? 458 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,037 What about your guy, Judy? Er, John, isn't it? 459 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,315 - Paul. - No, he sent his apologies 460 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,915 but he was called away to, erm, a... hockey match in Sheffield. 461 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,834 - Ice hockey. - Yes, yes. It was obviously important. 462 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,595 - Put another way, he stood me up. - Which makes him a total twerp. 463 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,629 - What sort of a guy would do that? - You did it often enough. 464 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,996 (Alistair) Now, Judy, that's not true. 465 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,914 I wasn't around sometimes but I never stood you up when I was around. 466 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,232 - Yes, there is a difference. - But it's all on a scale of unreliability. 467 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,151 - Li? - What? 468 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,437 Well, sometimes it takes a guy to understand a guy. 469 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,476 This isn't one of those times. 470 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,396 - You said she was plain. - Never. 471 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,871 No, not Judy, that... ten-foot blonde that came in ahead of you. 472 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:03,919 Did I? I must have been comparing her to Mercury. 473 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,392 Hey, I'm only being honest. 474 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,756 Sandy and I had her down as speaking ten languages. 475 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,114 No. 476 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,670 - Only five that I knew about. - Practically illiterate. 477 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,792 Mercury must have been quite something. 478 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,438 Quite something. 479 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,513 Somebody's got to ask. Why did she break off the engagement? 480 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,989 She said that I wasn't all there. 481 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:32,471 - Oh, that's rather rude. - No, no, I mean commitment-wise. 482 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,998 "Ali," she said... 483 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,038 She always used to call me Ali. 484 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:42,079 "Ali, I never feel that I have all of you. 485 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,754 "It's as though a part of you is always somewhere else." 486 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,118 Where? 487 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,757 Perhaps she was right. 488 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,112 Erm... (Clears throat) Are we going to eat or what? 489 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,033 - Perhaps we should... - If you want to eat alone... 490 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:05,398 No, no, no. It wouldn't be fair of me to use a situation like this. 491 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,631 Let's all just have a great meal together, hmm? 492 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,315 Perhaps there'll be other times for me and Judy. 493 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,796 - Let's eat. - (Sandy) Yes. 494 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,270 I want another look at that plain girl as we go past. 495 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,793 Alistair... 496 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,836 if you're serious, 497 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,514 we know you're a bit of a fly-by-night, 498 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,353 just try not to fly by night quite so often. 499 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,033 I want another look at that plain girl, too. 500 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:36,555 - Alistair... - Mm? 501 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,794 I thought you gave up a bit quickly after the squeaky armour let you down. 502 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,836 - Sorry? - Own up. 503 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,555 There never was a Mercury, was there? 504 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,712 - Li! You don't seriously believe? - Mm-hm. 505 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,472 Mm-hm. 506 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,880 ♪ You must remember this 507 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,554 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss 508 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,996 ♪ A sigh is just a sigh 509 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,755 ♪ The fundamental things apply 510 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,310 ♪ As time goes by 511 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,520 ♪ And when two lovers woo 512 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,273 ♪ They still say I love you 513 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,113 ♪ On that you can rely 514 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,192 ♪ The world will always welcome lovers 515 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:47,631 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 516 00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:52,231 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41736

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