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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,554
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,757
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,749
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:26,799
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
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Now, are you quite certain
that you're fit to travel?
7
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,309
We're fine, Mrs Bale, fully recovered.
8
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- Thank you for looking after us.
- You were no trouble at all.
9
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,188
- Good.
- I didn't mean you.
10
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,590
- Oh.
- Well, off we go, back to the big city.
11
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:53,275
Now you've retired,
why don't you move here permanently?
12
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,954
I haven't retired, I just don't go to work.
13
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,076
- Is there a difference?
- Oh, yes.
14
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,118
- What is it?
- Lionel knows.
15
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,713
What?
16
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,792
Erm...
17
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,308
So do you think there's intelligent life
in space or not?
18
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,630
- I know there is.
- You can't know.
19
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,952
Well, somehow I know the difference
between giving up work and retiring.
20
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,634
You're not still wittering on about that?
21
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,234
Yes, I am. "Lionel knows."
22
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:35,519
Well, Lionel didn't, and found himself
making a complete fool of himself.
23
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,751
Mrs Bale said it was
a very interesting answer.
24
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,913
She was humouring me. Thought I was
still light-headed from that bug we had.
25
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,114
- (Sighs)
- So what is the difference
26
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,998
- between giving up work and retiring?
- I don't know.
27
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,789
But I know there is one.
Oh, it's nice to be home, isn't it?
28
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,632
Yes, it is.
29
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,715
Why does Mrs Bale always pack
a box of vegetables?
30
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:12,078
She doesn't think they sell them in
London. Come on, I'll put the kettle on.
31
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,479
Ah. Anybody home?
32
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,028
- The girls will be at work.
- Of course.
33
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,951
(Man) Good morning.
34
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,474
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
35
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,949
You must be Jean and Lionel.
36
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,393
I'm Paul.
37
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,994
Your friendly neighbourhood burglar.
38
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,150
I'm Paul. I've been going out with Judith.
39
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,992
Oh! That Paul.
40
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:47,313
As ever was. I was going to make a cup
of tea before I went. Would you like one?
41
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,197
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
42
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,952
(Mouths)
43
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,554
Sit yourselves down. Shan't be a tick.
44
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,672
- Anyone like a biscuit?
- Er... no, thank you.
45
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,751
Custard tart, Lionel? Judy warned me
not to eat any on pain of death.
46
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,637
No, thank you.
47
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,514
Hope I didn't come
as too much of a surprise
48
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,070
but I didn't have to be in work until late
so I had a lie-in.
49
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,912
Oh, no, that's...
50
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,956
Well, we're not shocked or anything.
51
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,713
Shocked? Oh, I see, yes,
that kind of shocked.
52
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,553
After all, we're, er...
we're not out of the Ark.
53
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,392
No, of course not.
54
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,756
Judy says you can be quite young
for your age. Sometimes.
55
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,353
Does she?
56
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,236
Erm... how's your wife?
57
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,073
Fine. So far as I know.
58
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,390
She's at Southampton University.
59
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,552
- A mature student.
- You don't see her often, then?
60
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,552
Not so much as never, really.
61
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,676
Still, these things do happen.
62
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,953
Yes.
63
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,395
- I got divorced.
- Did you?
64
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,436
Seemed the thing to do.
65
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,238
- Did it?
- Yes, but Lionel didn't have children,
66
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,515
so there were no custody battles.
67
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,637
Well, mine are 19 and 16.
Bit old for custody.
68
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,153
Yes, I suppose so.
69
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,549
There's something cleaner
about divorce.
70
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,596
- Cleaner?
- Erm...
71
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,398
Absolute, I mean.
72
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,994
It really, er, ends the chapter, doesn't it?
73
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,877
Ready for the next chapter.
74
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,950
If there is to be another chapter.
75
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,395
- I'm very fond of Judy.
- I didn't mention Judy.
76
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,311
Call me highly intuitive.
77
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,756
- We're very fond of Judy.
- Yes. Yes, of course you are.
78
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:35,709
I don't mean to sound evasive but I can't
give you the answers you're looking for.
79
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,951
- No one said anything about answers.
- I did.
80
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:42,430
I'm not a very forward-looking person
at the moment.
81
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,798
I don't fall into patterns, I just live life
as it goes, see what happens.
82
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,678
I said I couldn't give the answers
you were looking for.
83
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,716
Well, that's very, er...
84
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,479
- honest of you.
- Not reassuring, but honest.
85
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,718
Sorry.
86
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,236
I've got to go. I'm covering
a basketball match in Manchester.
87
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,709
Oh. You're a sports journalist.
88
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,351
Yeah. Only sort to be. On the move
all the time. Here, there, everywhere.
89
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,034
- Do you like cricket, Lionel?
- Yes, I do.
90
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,237
I'll fix you up with tickets
for the Lord's Test in the summer.
91
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,673
Oh.
92
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,671
Thanks very much.
93
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,876
Seems a long time away, summer.
94
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,191
Yes. Well, nice to have met you both,
anyway.
95
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,714
I'll see you out. Oh, do you have a bag?
96
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,234
No. No, I don't have a bag.
97
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,311
- Bye, Lionel.
- Bye!
98
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,916
(Whispers) He doesn't have a bag.
99
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,478
(Chuckles)
100
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,152
(Chuckles)
101
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,076
It's the Australians this year.
102
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,833
- Doing what?
- Cricket, Test match.
103
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,554
Oh, he'll forget about those tickets.
104
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,632
- How do you know?
- He seems that sort of chap.
105
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,472
I see. (Chuckles)
106
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,676
- Quite personable.
- Oh, yes.
107
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,276
Quite personable.
108
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,433
- Where are you going?
- To get the stuff from the car.
109
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,193
- Do you have to do that now?
- I just thought I would.
110
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,113
It's no good burying your head
in the sand.
111
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:22,193
- We have a situation.
- You sound like NASA control.
112
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,750
You know what I mean.
You heard him, he's a gypsy.
113
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,310
He's probably going to Manchester
in a horse-drawn caravan.
114
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,358
- Where are you going now?
- To get the stuff from the car
115
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,795
or to bury my head in the sand.
116
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,836
You don't care, do you?
117
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,869
Yes, I do care, as a matter of fact.
118
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,272
But it's time you stopped being a mother
hen and let Judy get on with her own life.
119
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,713
- Is it?
- Yes.
120
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,429
- What if she makes a mess of it?
- Then we help her to pick up the pieces.
121
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,476
You think she will make a mess of it.
122
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,597
How should I know? I'm not Mystic Meg.
123
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,434
I'm not asking you to look into a crystal
ball, I'm asking you for an opinion.
124
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,149
Well, some people make a mess
of their lives, some don't.
125
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,118
- Oh, that's very profound.
- Well, it's true.
126
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,670
Fate, luck, call it what you like.
I know I made a mess of mine.
127
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,716
Oh, thank you very much.
128
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,916
No, not this bit.
129
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,798
The big slab of it without you in it.
130
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,910
Your letter never arrives in Korea
131
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,833
so I act like a... a complete twerp.
132
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,038
I assume you've lost interest and don't
even bother to write to you to find out.
133
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:31,159
- That is messing up a life.
- I should have written again.
134
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,071
- I should have written.
- I should.
135
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,116
- Anyway, we didn't.
- No.
136
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,715
- But we did meet up again.
- Yes.
137
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,234
All we missed out on was about 40 years.
138
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,436
All right, but we did meet again.
139
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,875
We got a happy ending out of our mess.
140
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,076
Yeah, we did.
141
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,116
So some messes do come right.
142
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,191
- Against the odds, yes.
- Good.
143
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,236
Yes, good.
144
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,754
But do you think that Judy's won't?
145
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,434
Sorry for Alistair? Why?
146
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,830
Well, he really is trying to get you back,
isn't he?
147
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,879
I thought sending a herald round
to ask you out to dinner was sweet.
148
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,111
His feather was falling out
and his tights were baggy.
149
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,670
Then turning up himself
on horseback, in armour.
150
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,513
- Which squeaked.
- You could have oiled him.
151
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,956
- That's the trouble with Alistair.
- He doesn't normally squeak.
152
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,510
He only wants me
when I'm not available. When I am...
153
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,909
Oh. Jean and Lionel are back.
154
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,753
Oh, yeah. I wonder when they got back.
155
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,035
I wonder.
156
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,509
I hate it when you smile like that.
157
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,357
- (Judy) Hi, Mum!
- Hello, love!
158
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,639
Ah.
159
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,678
- Hello, Sandy.
- Nice break in the country?
160
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,513
- We spent most of it in bed.
- Oh, yes?
161
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,472
- With a bug.
- Oh. Are you feeling better now?
162
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,473
Well, I'm working and Lionel's back
on the custard tarts, so we must be.
163
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,438
You're working? I thought that you'd...
164
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,069
- Retired? Yes, I have.
- So why would you be working?
165
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,116
I thought I'd formalise everything.
166
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,671
You two will run the place
and I'll stay on in an advisory capacity.
167
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,719
It's all right, I don't intend
to sit on a perch in the office every day.
168
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,870
When would you be in the office?
169
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,554
Well, if I'm needed
in an advisory capacity.
170
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,871
But you wouldn't need
to come into the office for that.
171
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,916
- Well, I might.
- Might you?
172
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,833
- If I'm needed.
- In an advisory capacity?
173
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,070
Yes, I don't want to lose touch
altogether.
174
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,310
- No.
- No, of course not.
175
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:44,394
I could always turn up and snoop around
disguised as a charlady. (Laughs)
176
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,798
I feel unwanted.
177
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,475
- It's not that, it's...
- You want to run things your way.
178
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,518
Well, you can.
That's why I've given up work.
179
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,034
I just haven't retired, that's all.
180
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,829
So that's that.
Oh, by the way, we met Paul.
181
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,632
Excuse me.
182
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,268
- Did you?
- Yes, he'd had a lie-in.
183
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,914
- How did you get on?
- Oh, very well.
184
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,594
- I think he's a nice chap.
- Yes?
185
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,796
Very personable.
186
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,953
I bet the first thing you and Sandy do
is have the office redecorated.
187
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:27,355
I mean, how can you stop going to work
and not retire?
188
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,356
That's what Mrs Bale asked.
189
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,034
- What did Jean say?
- She left it to me to explain.
190
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,712
How did you do?
191
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,511
Mrs Bale's eyes glazed over
after the first minute.
192
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,717
I mean, not that Jean's
really doing either.
193
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,635
Did you know, she's decided to stay on
in an advisory capacity?
194
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,358
No, I didn't.
195
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,956
Is that an official way of saying she can
stick her nose in when she feels like it?
196
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,271
- I wouldn't put it quite like that.
- How would you put it?
197
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,636
- Yes, I'd put it exactly like that.
- (Chuckles)
198
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,632
- I can't keep her locked up.
- I suppose not.
199
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,869
- Glass of wine?
- Ooh, yes, please.
200
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,509
- I think we're confined to the kitchen.
- Why's that?
201
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,229
Because the inquisition is at work
in the living room.
202
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:19,519
It started quietly. "Oh, by the way,
we met Paul this morning." Very casual.
203
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,278
- You've met Paul?
- Yes.
204
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,318
- Why?
- What do you think of him?
205
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,072
He's nice enough.
206
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,835
- Nice enough for what?
- Just... generally.
207
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,275
You're not worried as well, are you?
208
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,828
- As well?
- Oh, come on, you know Jean.
209
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,879
If Judy were to start going out
with the Pope she'd worry.
210
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,598
I don't think the Pope's allowed
to go out with girls.
211
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,274
- You know what I mean.
- I do, unfortunately.
212
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,831
- So this is where the drinkers gather.
- We're keeping out of the firing line.
213
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,717
Is this half-time or what?
214
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,677
We ended up discussing whether you
and I would get the office redecorated.
215
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,036
All she had to say about Paul
is that he was a nice chap.
216
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,475
- That's not like her.
- That's what I thought.
217
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,915
- (Doorbell)
- (Jean) I'll get it!
218
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,958
That's probably the private detective
she's hired.
219
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,951
Don't you start.
220
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,759
- Have you had a word with her?
- We have lots.
221
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,796
I mean a well-chosen one.
222
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,316
I think you should credit your mother
with some discretion.
223
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,595
Not her strong point.
224
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,035
- It's Alistair.
- Is he on a horse?
225
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,314
- No, he's not.
- What's he dressed as?
226
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,595
- As Alistair.
- Where is he?
227
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,148
He's hanging upside down in the attic.
228
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,879
He's in the living room,
he wants to talk to us.
229
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:40,431
- By us, you mean Judy.
- I don't think we have a lot to talk about.
230
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,476
We'll never know if we stay here.
231
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,710
- He said us.
- Perhaps he was being polite.
232
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,394
If we barge in and he does want Judy...
233
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,516
Well, I'll go and ask.
234
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,637
I'm sorry, Alistair.
Do you want to talk to Judy?
235
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,950
- Of course.
- I'll send her in.
236
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,598
No, but...
237
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,755
- Well?
- Yes, thank you. Yourself?
238
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:11,188
- Mum said that you wanted to talk to me.
- Yes, I do.
239
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,192
- Go on, then.
- I want to talk to Jean as well.
240
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,633
I see.
241
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,030
- Mum!
- I want to talk to everybody.
242
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,076
Lionel, Sandy!
243
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,879
I did say
that you didn't just want to talk to me.
244
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,599
- It's not that...
- I said he said us.
245
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,910
Talk about overcomplicating things.
246
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,150
- Hello, Alistair.
- Hi, Li. Hi, gorgeous.
247
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,913
- (Both) Hello.
- (Alistair) Oh! (Laughs)
248
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,433
Oh, it's just like family, isn't it?
249
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,308
What a nice thing to say.
What is it you want to talk about?
250
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,356
I'm engaged.
251
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,879
You know, as in... engaged.
252
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,118
To be married!
253
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,351
- Well, congratulations, Alistair.
- Thanks, Li!
254
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,271
I am open to hugs.
255
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,316
Oh, yes, of course.
256
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,312
- Congratulations, Alistair.
- Thank you.
257
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,153
- (Sandy) Congratulations, Alistair.
- Thanks.
258
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,879
Judy? No hard feelings?
259
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,275
No. No, no, of course not.
260
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,116
I was just, erm...
261
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,589
Well, it's all a bit sudden, isn't it?
262
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,069
You know me.
Impulsive is my middle name.
263
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:26,358
I know about your impulses but marriage
never seemed to be one of them.
264
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,353
Two weeks ago you were dressed
in armour pledging your troth to Judy.
265
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,876
- But she didn't troth back.
- I did say how hard you were trying.
266
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,191
Yes, I thought that,
even if you did look ridiculous.
267
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:42,274
Hey, I was trying, but a guy can only
take no just so many times.
268
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,477
I don't remember
you actually proposing marriage.
269
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,870
- You wouldn't even come out to dinner.
- We did all that, remember?
270
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,916
But why suddenly rush into marriage?
271
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,718
As the song says...
272
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,870
♪ Some enchanted evening ♪
273
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,633
Well, it must have been. What's she like?
274
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,631
Will you stop doing that?
275
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,996
We shouldn't be quizzing him,
it's none of our business.
276
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,036
- We're family.
- We are not.
277
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:09,591
But you are, Li. Which is why I wanted
to tell you about Mercury.
278
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,272
Mercury?
279
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,749
Well, that's her name.
280
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,592
Mercury?
281
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,956
Yes.
282
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,190
Oh.
283
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,989
I want you all to meet her.
How does dinner tomorrow grab you?
284
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,798
- Ah...
- We'd love it.
285
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,677
- I'm not family.
- You are.
286
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,433
- You'll come?
- Rather!
287
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,478
- Judy?
- I wouldn't miss it for the world.
288
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,552
Sandy, er... what are you doing
this evening?
289
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,276
I don't believe you asked that.
290
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,194
Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean,
you'll keep an eye on Judy, won't you?
291
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,111
Console her, you mean?
292
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,270
Well, yes.
293
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,396
- Did I say something?
- Don't ask me.
294
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:06,156
Alistair, Judy's not heartbroken. She's
got a relationship of her own going.
295
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,595
Oh, that's right. George, isn't it?
296
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,956
No, Paul.
We've met him, haven't we, Lionel?
297
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,510
Mm. He's going to get me tickets
for the Lord's Test.
298
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,838
- Is he?
- Yes, he's a really nice chap.
299
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,911
We took to him straightaway, didn't we?
300
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,468
- Did we?
- Well, I did.
301
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,158
Lionel takes longer to sum people up
than I do.
302
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,198
No, I like Paul very much.
And Judy likes him too.
303
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,236
Well, she's a great girl.
304
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,276
Then why are you letting her go?
305
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,590
- He's engaged.
- Well, let, then.
306
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,956
Even a guy like me runs out of ideas
eventually, Jean.
307
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,634
I suppose I just wasn't what she wanted.
308
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,396
Look, let me be frank. You've not got
engaged on the rebound, have you?
309
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,436
- Really!
- Let me be frank as well.
310
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,159
You'll know the answer
when you meet Mercury.
311
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,869
Yes, talking of which,
could Judy bring Paul along?
312
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,076
- She might not want to.
- Of course she would.
313
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,391
Fine, then.
I'll, er... l'll e-mail you the details.
314
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,473
- What's wrong with phoning?
- Li, move with the times, please.
315
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,199
- See you tomorrow. Ciao.
- Bye, Alistair.
316
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,236
I'll go and start dinner.
317
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,880
(Alistair) Bye, Judy.
Look forward to meeting Paul.
318
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,110
(Judy) What do you mean?
319
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,758
Mum?
320
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,594
Mum, what did he mean he's looking
forward to meeting Paul?
321
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,352
She's in the kitchen.
322
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,989
And pleading the Fifth Amendment,
I decline to answer.
323
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,194
Why is Alistair looking forward
to meeting Paul?
324
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,714
I just thought
you'd like to take him tomorrow.
325
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,633
- You've invited him, haven't you?
- Not personally.
326
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,073
Why?
327
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,153
If Alistair's showing off this Mercury,
I thought you'd like to show off Paul.
328
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,277
He's not a trophy.
Besides, you don't even like him.
329
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,715
I do, I told you, I thought he was nice.
330
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,756
Oh, yes, and that's all you said.
331
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,469
Which means you were being diplomatic,
which means you don't like him.
332
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,952
- Did you hear that?
- Yes. Spot-on, wasn't it?
333
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,073
No.
334
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,390
You didn't have a good word
to say for him.
335
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,755
- I said he's very personable.
- Exactly.
336
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,796
What were you saying to Alistair?
337
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,758
"He's a really nice chap.
We took to him straightaway."
338
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,355
- Well, I like Alistair.
- Against my better judgment, so do I.
339
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,398
But if there's any logic in that remark
I fail to see it.
340
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:24,270
Well, we know Alistair. He's got his faults
but he's been very kind to this family.
341
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,318
I still don't see why, just because you...
342
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,030
- You're not?
- In his heart it's always been Judy.
343
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,554
He's just got engaged to another woman.
344
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,076
Yes, but he's a bit of a fly-by-night,
it mightn't last.
345
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,754
And you want a bit of a fly-by-night
for Judy?
346
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,354
At least he's a nice fly-by-night.
347
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,796
I give up, I really do.
348
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,155
I wonder what this Mercury's like.
349
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,028
I'm not sure I can actually bring myself
to call anyone Mercury.
350
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,116
It could be worse.
351
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,634
She could be called British Telecom.
352
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,594
- (Knock on door)
- Come in.
353
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,716
- I'm ready.
- I'm ageing.
354
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,995
This is taking longer and longer.
355
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,276
- What?
- Is that it?
356
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,791
- What's wrong with it?
- It's bordering on the matronly.
357
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,956
You're as bad as Mum. You both expect
me to get all glammed up
358
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,996
just to show Alistair what he's missing.
359
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,834
No. I expect you to get all glammed up
to show Paul what he's got.
360
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,559
Well, Paul can't come. He phoned.
361
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,473
He's got to cover an ice hockey game
in Sheffield.
362
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,552
Oh, I see. Rather short notice, isn't it?
363
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,278
What do you mean by that?
364
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:47,956
Nothing. I'd have thought Paul would
have known what he was doing tonight.
365
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,110
What if war had broken out?
366
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,156
- A war?
- Yes.
367
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,629
- What war?
- I don't know, some war.
368
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,759
If Paul were a war correspondent,
he'd be sent off at short notice.
369
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,913
I suppose he would. But it's not on
the same scale as an ice hockey match.
370
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,755
It's the same principle. Journalists
get sent places at short notice.
371
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,679
- This hasn't happened before, has it?
- No, it hasn't happened before.
372
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,950
- Look, Paul is a nice bloke.
- Course he is.
373
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,110
It's only one evening.
374
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,431
- Now don't say that you're fond of me.
- Why not?
375
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,876
Because that's what Mum says when
she thinks I'm going out with a disaster.
376
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,635
- I didn't say that Paul was a disaster.
- No, fair enough.
377
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,508
You'd better call Jean "Mum"
and me "Mother".
378
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,670
So you're still wearing that, then?
379
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,593
- Well, it's comfortable.
- Comfortable?
380
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,990
Why not slip into a beige cardie
and have done with it?
381
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,913
I'll take one with me in case it turns cold.
382
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,275
This is a very defeatist attitude.
383
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:52,195
I'm not defeated. Paul can't come. I'm not
interested in impressing anybody else.
384
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,192
Whatever you say. Even so...
385
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,993
Be honest. What chance have I got
of out-glamming
386
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,436
- someone called Mercury?
- You don't know that she's glamorous.
387
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,080
I bet she makes Claudia Schiffer
look dowdy.
388
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,072
- Even so...
- And she'll speak eight languages.
389
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,276
- Even so...
- Stop saying "even so",
390
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,828
I'm too old for those kind of games.
391
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,876
Even so...
392
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,476
I'll go and get changed.
393
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,593
(Quiet chatter, gentle piano music)
394
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,912
- Are we early?
- No, we're unfashionably punctual.
395
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,597
- I think I'll just go to the loo.
- Yes, me too.
396
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,718
Why do women always go to the loo
in droves?
397
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,270
- I wouldn't call two a drove.
- Well, collectively, then.
398
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,715
Judy's nervous about meeting Mercury.
399
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,360
- Why should she be?
- Well, I ask you. Mercury?
400
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,396
- It's just a name.
- Of sorts.
401
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,835
You're gonna hate her on sight,
aren't you?
402
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,434
- I don't know yet.
- Yes, you do.
403
00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,197
I suppose Judy wouldn't be
nervous at all if she was called Gert.
404
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,236
Nobody's called Gert any more.
405
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,073
I didn't think anybody
was called Mercury.
406
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,312
It's a shame Paul had to cover
that ice hockey match in Sheffield.
407
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,152
Yes.
408
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,028
- Why do you say yes like that?
- I didn't say it like anything.
409
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,031
I meant, yes, it's a shame.
410
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,076
Lionel, you didn't.
411
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,916
- I wasn't going to tell you.
- Tell me what?
412
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,231
- I was reading the paper...
- He's in it. What's he done?
413
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:32,598
No, he's not in it.
But the sports fixtures are.
414
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,956
There isn't an ice hockey match
in Sheffield tonight.
415
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,190
- Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
416
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,874
- That's what I thought.
- Does Judy know?
417
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,030
I don't think she reads the sports pages.
418
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,873
You're not still expecting
those tickets for Lord's?
419
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,679
- No.
- "Let her get on with her own life."
420
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,716
- I know.
- So do we tell her?
421
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,109
(Whispers) They're coming back.
422
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,193
- You both look very serious.
- Not at all.
423
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,919
We were laughing
at something Lionel said.
424
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,956
Oh, what was that?
425
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,074
- I'm not a sneak by nature.
- I don't think that's very funny.
426
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,958
No, I was just prefacing a statement.
427
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,110
- Which is the joke.
- It isn't a joke.
428
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,988
Judy... I think there's a time to sneak.
429
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,399
This, erm, ice hockey game
that Paul was supposed to be covering.
430
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,430
- There isn't one.
- What?
431
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,078
There are no ice hockey fixtures at all.
432
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,352
I didn't pry. I didn't butt in.
I didn't make a phone call.
433
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,273
I just happened to look
at the sports pages.
434
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,557
- Oh, I see.
- Are toads taking over the world?
435
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,518
I'm sorry, love. I didn't like him,
but I am sorry.
436
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,158
I said that you didn't.
437
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,278
I'm all right. It was never gonna be
the romance of the century.
438
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:56,113
I just hope the next time
he covers the rugby
439
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,590
he gets trampled on
by the entire English pack.
440
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,798
It's Mercury time.
441
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,636
Judy, if you don't want to do this...
442
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:10,157
Mum, I can't miss seeing the woman
that can make Alistair propose.
443
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,312
- Lionel, your mouth's open.
- Sorry.
444
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,636
- Hello.
- Hello.
445
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,591
Hi, guys.
446
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,235
Hello, Alistair.
We thought that was Mercury.
447
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,914
What, the plain girl? (Laughs)
448
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,956
Hey, it's great to see you all.
449
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,277
Oh, sorry, sorry. Mercury's not coming.
450
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,279
Well, why?
451
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,396
The engagement's off.
452
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,392
- That must be some sort of record.
- Lionel!
453
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,155
Lionel's right. I didn't have time
to buy the engagement ring.
454
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,630
- Think of it as a saving.
- Cold feet, Alistair?
455
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,996
No, apparently it all suddenly seemed
like a bad idea.
456
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,959
- What do you mean by apparently?
- It was Mercury who broke it off.
457
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,235
- I see.
- Did she?
458
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,037
What about your guy, Judy?
Er, John, isn't it?
459
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,315
- Paul.
- No, he sent his apologies
460
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,915
but he was called away to, erm,
a... hockey match in Sheffield.
461
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,834
- Ice hockey.
- Yes, yes. It was obviously important.
462
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,595
- Put another way, he stood me up.
- Which makes him a total twerp.
463
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,629
- What sort of a guy would do that?
- You did it often enough.
464
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,996
(Alistair) Now, Judy, that's not true.
465
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,914
I wasn't around sometimes but I never
stood you up when I was around.
466
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,232
- Yes, there is a difference.
- But it's all on a scale of unreliability.
467
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,151
- Li?
- What?
468
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,437
Well, sometimes it takes a guy
to understand a guy.
469
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,476
This isn't one of those times.
470
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,396
- You said she was plain.
- Never.
471
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,871
No, not Judy, that... ten-foot blonde
that came in ahead of you.
472
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:03,919
Did I? I must have been comparing her
to Mercury.
473
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,392
Hey, I'm only being honest.
474
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,756
Sandy and I had her down
as speaking ten languages.
475
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,114
No.
476
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,670
- Only five that I knew about.
- Practically illiterate.
477
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,792
Mercury must have been
quite something.
478
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,438
Quite something.
479
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,513
Somebody's got to ask.
Why did she break off the engagement?
480
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,989
She said that I wasn't all there.
481
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:32,471
- Oh, that's rather rude.
- No, no, I mean commitment-wise.
482
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,998
"Ali," she said...
483
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,038
She always used to call me Ali.
484
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:42,079
"Ali, I never feel that I have all of you.
485
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,754
"It's as though a part of you
is always somewhere else."
486
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,118
Where?
487
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,757
Perhaps she was right.
488
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,112
Erm... (Clears throat)
Are we going to eat or what?
489
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,033
- Perhaps we should...
- If you want to eat alone...
490
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:05,398
No, no, no. It wouldn't be fair of me
to use a situation like this.
491
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,631
Let's all just have
a great meal together, hmm?
492
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,315
Perhaps there'll be other times
for me and Judy.
493
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,796
- Let's eat.
- (Sandy) Yes.
494
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,270
I want another look at that plain girl
as we go past.
495
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,793
Alistair...
496
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,836
if you're serious,
497
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,514
we know you're a bit of a fly-by-night,
498
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,353
just try not to fly by night quite so often.
499
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,033
I want another look at that plain girl, too.
500
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:36,555
- Alistair...
- Mm?
501
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,794
I thought you gave up a bit quickly
after the squeaky armour let you down.
502
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,836
- Sorry?
- Own up.
503
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,555
There never was a Mercury, was there?
504
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,712
- Li! You don't seriously believe?
- Mm-hm.
505
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,472
Mm-hm.
506
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,880
♪ You must remember this
507
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,554
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
508
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,996
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
509
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,755
♪ The fundamental things apply
510
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,310
♪ As time goes by
511
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,520
♪ And when two lovers woo
512
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,273
♪ They still say I love you
513
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,113
♪ On that you can rely
514
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,192
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
515
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:47,631
♪ As time goes by ♪
516
00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:52,231
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