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1
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# You must remember this
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
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(Lionel) It's nice to be on our own.
(Jean) Yes, it is.
7
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(Lionel) We seem to have been overwhelmed
by people lately.
8
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- I wouldn't say overwhelmed.
- I would.
9
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(Jean) I sometimes think
there's a hermit in you, trying to get out.
10
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You'd be perfectly happy
living in a cave somewhere.
11
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,915
- Would you move in with me?
- Only if it had central heating.
12
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- It wouldn't have a telephone, for sure.
- I'd like a front door, though.
13
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Well, people knock on front doors.
14
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You wouldn't want them
just walking into the cave, would you?
15
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,391
True.
16
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,557
Well, perhaps a big boulder would do the trick.
17
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Or perhaps...
18
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- Quick! Hide!
- Woo!
19
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What are you doing?
20
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- I've just seen Alistair.
- Oh!
21
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Lionel, we're grown-ups.
22
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:22,157
- We can't just hide behind a tree.
- Yes, we can.
23
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I just wanted
a nice quiet Saturday to myself, with you.
24
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Well, where was Alistair?
25
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- Back there somewhere.
- I know he's there somewhere.
26
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Otherwise we wouldn't be on this side.
Can't you be more precise?
27
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- What do you want, a map reference?
- Look, I'm just trying to be helpful.
28
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Did he see you?
29
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If he'd seen us, there'd be no point in us hiding.
30
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Oh. No.
31
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- Shall I have a peep?
- No!
32
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Oh! Don't pull me about!
33
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I'm sorry but just stay put.
34
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Well, what happens if he walks past?
35
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Do we just hope he doesn't turn round,
or do we edge round to the back of the tree?
36
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- You're making very light of this.
- Well, it's hard to take seriously, isn't it?
37
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,311
He could have turned round.
38
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,550
- I'm going to have a peep.
- No!
39
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- Boo!
- Oh!
40
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Now, why should you two be hiding from me?
41
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- We weren't hiding at all.
- No.
42
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- No, just erm... leaning against the tree.
- Tree, yes. Canoodling.
43
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Canoodling!
What a great old expression that was.
44
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Is. What a great old expression that is.
45
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Now, you may be surprised
that we bumped into each other in a park.
46
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We wouldn't be surprised
if we bumped into you in the Kalahari Desert.
47
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I'll take that as a compliment. I belled Judy
and she told me where you were.
48
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,990
And do I have news!
49
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,190
I assume that's a rhetorical question.
50
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,152
- Li, you're scowling.
- I feel like scowling.
51
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,590
Well, let's go and find somewhere to sit,
I'll tell you my news,
52
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:10,316
and your face will be wreathed in smiles.
Let's go!
53
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,432
Yes, I'll say this for Alistair: he's an optimist.
54
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You're still scowling, Li.
55
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- It's my face.
- It's not medieval, you know.
56
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,954
- I never said it was.
- No, not Lionel's face,
57
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- I mean the verb, canoodle.
- I didn't mean to imply it was.
58
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:35,280
I have to say to you both that this is
not one of your more receptive days.
59
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,949
- You haven't given us anything to receive yet.
- Then try this.
60
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,231
Mike Barbosa stepped off a plane this morning.
61
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,113
Is it too much to hope
that it was in midair at the time?
62
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,953
From Los Angeles. And he wants a little meet.
63
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,993
- Shall we do the joke, or not?
- Let's just hear the rest.
64
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,918
- Why?
- To bring you some great news!
65
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- Can't you tell me?
- I don't know what it is.
66
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:07,593
- Then how do you know it's great?
- Because Mike flew in especially to see you.
67
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:12,236
Well, that's a step forward, Lionel. Last time,
he fitted you in between buying socks.
68
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,791
I've had a whiz round.
69
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,991
- Is there anything else?
- No, thanks, I'm in good order.
70
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,191
It's damn cheek,
Mike Barbosa inviting himself to tea.
71
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,550
Oh, now, be fair,
he invited us to tea at The Savoy,
72
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,592
but you made it sound like
an expedition to the South Pole.
73
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,029
I see he gets the best cups and saucers, as well.
74
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,550
Now, what is it about Americans
that brings out the worst in you?
75
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,716
I've nothing against Americans as such.
76
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,355
It's Americans who are in television.
They're all hoo-hah.
77
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,197
- Hoo-hah?
- Yes.
78
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,549
Don't forget that this particular American
79
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,831
has a lot to do with your miniseries
being seen on the screen.
80
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,678
I hope he doesn't ask how the Queen is again.
81
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,711
That wasn't Mike, it was Cy.
82
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,389
Who's now in a loony bin.
That bodes well, doesn't it?
83
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,431
- Who replaced Cy?
- Sol.
84
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:04,474
- A model of mental stability, I might add.
- You've never met the man.
85
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,956
I'm taking a leaf
out of Alistair's book, being optimistic.
86
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,197
- (Doorbell rings)
- Ooh! That's probably them.
87
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,231
Now, big smile, now.
88
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,994
That won't do. Think of canoodling.
89
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,231
Go on! (Laughs)
90
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:32,792
This is really nice. English tea in an English
home. Lionel, you have a beautiful place here.
91
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,671
It isn't mine, it's Jean's.
92
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,715
Another cucumber sandwich?
93
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,991
No, thank you, Jean.
I'm watching my starch intake.
94
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,076
Aren't we all?
95
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:50,358
So... Mike, you were saying
how much Sol liked the first episode.
96
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,039
He described himself as "enraptured".
97
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,550
- He's not in therapy, is he?
- Sol? Ha!
98
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,034
Sol is one of the best-balanced guys I know.
99
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:04,108
I mean, this is a man who finds time to play
with the kids from his first three marriages.
100
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,752
Does "enraptured" mean
he wants the whole thing rewritten?
101
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,917
(Chuckles) There goes Lionel
with the jokes again.
102
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:17,397
Lionel, you have my word.
But the script just needs a little fine-tuning,
103
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,271
which Manny can handle in LA.
104
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,515
- Who's Manny?
- Sol's brother-in-law,
105
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,835
but a distinguished writer in his own right.
106
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,872
This fine-tuning, it's not a major service, is it?
107
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,911
Tiny, tiny alterations.
108
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,033
We just have to make your England
a little more acceptable to Middle America.
109
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,197
Which brings us to the real reason
for Mike's visit.
110
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,231
It is socks again?
111
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:44,350
Locations. Mike is already looking for locations,
and does he have a great idea!
112
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,391
Yes, do I have a great idea?
113
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,232
Well, we shall never know if you don't tell us.
114
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,238
Lionel, do you remember your dad's house?
115
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,714
Of course I remember my dad's house.
116
00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:01,038
I would just love to see that house.
It sounds perfect to serve as your birthplace.
117
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,071
It was my birthplace!
118
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,398
- Great!
- I'm not sure Lionel's father and his wife
119
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,193
would like a film crew
trampling all over the house.
120
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,595
They lead very quiet lives down there.
121
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,790
Almost monastic.
122
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,355
- (Laughing) Rocky and Madge?
- Yes.
123
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:22,235
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves,
I just want to see the place.
124
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,191
Well, you could write, Lionel.
125
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,231
Or we could get really modern.
126
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,477
Oh, all right.
127
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:35,798
By the way, Jean, I thought
that love scene was just beautiful.
128
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,274
Oh, good. I helped Lionel write that, in bed.
129
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,710
Hello, Father, it's Lionel.
130
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,478
- (Snare drums)
- Who?
131
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,351
Your son.
132
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,197
What is that din?
133
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,552
Madge is on the drums.
Hold it a minute, dear, will you?
134
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,350
(Madge) I'm trying to get my lick right.
135
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,759
She's trying to get her lick right.
136
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,840
- (Drumming stops)
- Ah! Now, what were you saying?
137
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:06,556
Look, I have a Mr Barbosa here,
he'd like to see the house sometime.
138
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,068
- We're not open to the public.
- I know that.
139
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,429
He may want to use it in the miniseries.
140
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,631
- What as?
- A house, of course.
141
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,671
He may want to do some filming there.
142
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,838
- Somebody wants us to be in a film!
- Oh, how exciting!
143
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,791
When does he want to come down?
144
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,719
Well, that's the thing, you see.
I mean, it's probably inconvenient,
145
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,910
and if you don't fancy the idea at all...
146
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,349
Don't fancy it? We'd love it!
147
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,675
Bring him down for lunch tomorrow, eh?
148
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,599
Oh. Oh, jolly good. Right. Erm, bye, Father.
149
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,997
Cheerio, and give your cutie a kiss from me.
150
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,270
Erm, would tomorrow be too soon?
151
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,311
- Perfect!
- Terrif!
152
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,194
Oh, and he sent my cutie a kiss.
153
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,549
Cutie? Oh!
154
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,434
So much for a quiet weekend.
155
00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,837
It's rather exciting, though, isn't it?
I mean, we shall see it being filmed.
156
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:06,557
- Surprised Mike didn't ask Buckingham Palace.
- Oh, he did, but they turned him down.
157
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,797
Oh, no. No, no, those mustn't go in there.
158
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:16,676
- Well, they do in the commercials.
- Yes, but this is real life. Just give them here.
159
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,951
There you are.
160
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,435
No, don't do this.
161
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,950
- Just go and sit down.
- I don't want to, I want to be alone with you.
162
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,629
Huh! That's an odd thing to say over the sink,
but I like the thought.
163
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:37,039
- This fine-tuning that Mike mentioned...
- I asked him about that.
164
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,437
- Tiny, tiny alterations is what he said.
- Written by somebody's brother-in-law.
165
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,756
Being a brother-in-law
doesn't disqualify you from writing.
166
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,678
Just so long as
they don't make us do ridiculous things.
167
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,711
Like hiding behind trees?
168
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,751
That was an act of desperation.
169
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,233
Your heart has never really been in this, has it?
170
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,078
I'd never have considered it
if it hadn't been for the money.
171
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,997
Spoken like a true artist.
172
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,795
And when it's all over, what do I do then?
173
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,549
- Then you write your Oscar acceptance speech.
- This is for television.
174
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,478
Oh, OK, if you want to nit-pick.
Look on the bright side.
175
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,476
If this is a smash, you'll be picked up.
176
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:18,195
- By whom?
- Not young starlets, if that's what you hope.
177
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:22,233
Film companies, television companies.
You could be hot property.
178
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,555
- Or a condemned building.
- Oh...
179
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,795
What was that for?
180
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,434
Well, for being, as Rocky says,
such a dismal Jimmy.
181
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,678
Why all this talk about afterwards?
You don't have to do anything afterwards.
182
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,359
- Just lounge about?
- If that's what you want to do.
183
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,391
We're all right financially.
184
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,273
Oh, yes, as long as I send you out to work.
185
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,551
You don't send me out to work, I enjoy it.
186
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,592
You make it sound as if
I scrub doorsteps for a living.
187
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,918
- You don't see things the way I do.
- Well, just as well, the mood you're in.
188
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,555
I'm not in a mood,
I'm just... concerned, that's all.
189
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,591
Well, you don't need to be.
190
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,677
That's the point. I do, because...
191
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,711
Because what?
192
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,599
Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, really.
193
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,309
(Mike) Driver! Hold it there!
194
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,439
Alistair, it's magnificent!
195
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,471
- Not bad, is it?
- I love it!
196
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,715
I love it, Lionel!
197
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,194
- Good.
- Let's drive on up there.
198
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,233
This isn't Los Angeles.
We could walk the full 20 yards.
199
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,397
Hey, that's a great idea! Let's walk!
200
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,076
- Did you fall asleep in there?
- No, it's this chair.
201
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,395
I kind of slumped into it.
202
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,431
You look about three feet tall!
203
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,869
Well, would you mind just giving me a hand?
204
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,911
- Sorry, yes.
- Oh!
205
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,911
Oh!
206
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,836
Dignity. Always dignity.
207
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,311
Oh!
208
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,158
Hello, Mrs Bale. How are things
in the English Channel?
209
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,955
Calm as a millpond. How nice
to see you again, Miss Pargetter.
210
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,630
- Hello, Mrs Bale. You've met Alistair?
- Still on the tequila sunrises, Mrs Bale?
211
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,194
I've moved on to Black Russians.
212
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:33,313
And this is Mr Barbosa, an associate of mine.
213
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,716
Mike, this is Mrs Bale,
my father's housekeeper.
214
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,919
Mike?
215
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,951
That face!
216
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,951
That face!
217
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,309
- What's wrong with my face?
- Wrong?
218
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,351
Wrong! It's...
219
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,915
It's incredible! It's... Plantagenet!
220
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,518
Alistair... would you look at this hall!
221
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,991
It's going to be a long day.
222
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,111
Are Madge and Rocky at home?
223
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:08,039
I expect them back shortly.
They went to the leisure centre.
224
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,991
I shouldn't have asked.
225
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,869
What are we going to drink to?
What are we going to drink to, Madge?
226
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,117
- The future, what else?
- (All) The future!
227
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,833
You... You've hit the spot again, Mrs Bale.
228
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,996
One tries.
229
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,918
- Where have the boys gone?
- Boys?
230
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:35,670
Alistair was showing Mike round. Mike was
running upstairs shouting, "Perfect! Perfect!"
231
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:40,919
Oh, I like Mike. He's exuberant.
I wonder if he'd like a crack on my drums?
232
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:45,670
This business of filming in the house, if Mike
decides to, have you really thought it through?
233
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,998
I can't be doing, thinking things through.
It takes forever!
234
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,871
Quite right. Go with the flow!
235
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,674
Lunch will be served at 1:24.
236
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,154
Is that relevant, Mrs Bale?
237
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,668
Unless you all want to go hungry, yes.
238
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,239
Now, what do you think, Jean Pargetter?
239
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,077
It is Plantagenet.
240
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,475
No, I mean about this filming lark.
241
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:14,275
Oh. You understand that Mike wants to film
the house? I don't think he'd offer you parts.
242
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,074
Perhaps that's just as well.
We'd probably crack his lens.
243
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,192
- And then there's the lolly!
- What lolly?
244
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,233
Oh, come on, my boy, we wouldn't say yes
just to cement Anglo-American relations.
245
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,111
We're talking bucks.
246
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,197
- Yes, greenbacks.
- You're not silly, you two, are you?
247
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,231
Only when we're having fun!
248
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,157
Are you all right, Mrs Bale?
249
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,512
I'm afraid lunch will be postponed until 1:47.
250
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,028
I have been unnerved.
251
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,753
- A change of weather in the Channel?
- No.
252
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,349
Mr Barbosa. He wants to use me.
253
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,231
In what sense?
254
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:57,149
He wants me to be in the film.
He wants me to play Mr Lionel's nanny.
255
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,589
- I didn't have a nanny!
- So I told him,
256
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,677
but he kept saying, "I must use that face."
257
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,711
Oh, rock on, I say.
258
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,149
Yes, fame beckons, Mrs Bale.
259
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,988
Just a minute, what's a nanny doing in it?
There's no nanny in my script.
260
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,477
There is, according to Mr Barbosa,
in your childhood scenes.
261
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,511
What childhood scenes?
262
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:23,476
- Sounds like the brother-in-law's fine-tuning.
- Yes. Well, we'll see about that!
263
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,557
He always did fly off the handle, that boy.
264
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,591
I'm sorry I mentioned it now.
265
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,433
I must get on with lunch,
or it will drag on till 1:57.
266
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,711
I'd better find Lionel before blood is spilt.
267
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:42,551
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
I mean, nobody takes television seriously.
268
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,591
It's only pretend.
269
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,757
If Lionel punches Mike on the nose, it won't be.
270
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,479
Of all the crackbrained, half-witted ideas.
271
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:57,834
Just Two People, it's called. Just two grown-up
people. My childhood is an irrelevance.
272
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,475
Li, cool it, please. We were all children once.
273
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,911
That's a profound statement, if ever I heard one.
I want to talk to Mike. Where is he?
274
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:10,238
He's... He's wandering about somewhere.
Look, Li, we do not need alienation.
275
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,794
I don't care what we need, I want to talk to him.
276
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,275
- Hey... Lovely lady.
- Will you stop calling her that?
277
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,869
Jean, could you please keep
at least one of Lionel's feet on the ground?
278
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,831
Not if he's hopping mad.
279
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,475
- Very funny.
- Mind you, he has a right to be.
280
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,638
Somebody's brother-in-law
sticking in extra scenes, it's not fair.
281
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,674
I suppose he's also got a scene of me
taking part in Trooping The Colour.
282
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:40,555
- He has, hasn't he?
- Look, Li, these things are open to debate.
283
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,398
Then find Mike, and let's debate.
284
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,237
After lunch, though.
285
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,238
It's never wise to debate on an empty stomach.
286
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,111
Who told you that?
287
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,151
Benjamin Disraeli?
288
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,191
(Mike) Hey, you guys!
289
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,310
- Mike?
- Up here!
290
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,237
Look, there he is, there he is.
291
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:02,239
I'm in the attic. It's unbelievable!
292
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,114
- Pardon?
- The attic, it's unbelievable!
293
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,197
I can't hear you. Could you lean out a bit more?
294
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,155
Don't you see, Lionel?
This bit of back story, it adds colour.
295
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,033
- It adds, um...
- Poignancy.
296
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:27,039
Poignancy, poignancy. We get to see
the little boy who became the man.
297
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,435
What about the little girl
who became the woman?
298
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:34,759
What a great idea! We could get to meet
the young Jean, in an orphanage.
299
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,837
- Orphanage?
- That just came to me, out of left-field.
300
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,677
Pity you didn't leave it there.
301
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,076
I'm still bothered about the fox-hunting.
302
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:46,396
Rocky, it's so British, it's so colourful.
303
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,432
- It's so cruel.
- What about a paper chase?
304
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,996
- No, thanks, I'm full up.
- What I meant is instead of the fox-hunting.
305
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,874
- With the boy Lionel as the hare, you mean?
- Could be, could be.
306
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,956
- I never liked running.
- Oh, go on.
307
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,151
I could watch from the orphanage window!
308
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,314
Jean, that was only an idea.
309
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,271
And as soppy as the rest of them.
310
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:13,440
- I did think the Christmas party sounded fun.
- Madge, it would tear at the heartstrings.
311
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:18,508
Especially interspersed with my scene
at the orphanage with my pathetic rag doll.
312
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,519
- I don't understand all this servant business.
- Tradition.
313
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:27,918
All the servants line up to present the young
Lionel with their touching Christmas gifts.
314
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,033
But we didn't have servants.
All we had was old Mrs Twillet.
315
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,275
She came in to do, twice a week.
316
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,432
- Let's remember poetic licence.
- Poetic claptrap!
317
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,756
- I'd like to say something.
- Shoot, Mrs Bale.
318
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:48,591
Mr Barbosa, I have considered your offer,
but have decided not to play Nanny.
319
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,029
It wasn't actually an offer.
320
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:55,551
You see, I lead a quiet life,
and I rather like it that way.
321
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,434
Having your handprints in cement
outside Grauman's Chinese Theater
322
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,596
may be some people's idea of enjoyment,
323
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,758
but I'm far happier with a good book
and the Shipping Forecast.
324
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,911
Alistair?
325
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,999
Probably a wise decision
on the whole, Mrs Bale.
326
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,837
I think so.
327
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,908
But I am rather pleased to learn
that I have a Plantagenet face.
328
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,149
- OK, where were we?
- Lionel had just said, "Claptrap!"
329
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,590
The most restrained expression
I could use, in mixed company.
330
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,631
Oh, I don't mind a good swear!
331
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,672
She's been known to turn the air blue herself,
has Madge.
332
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,950
Who's going to start the swearing off?
333
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,310
People, please!
I'm beginning to feel outnumbered here.
334
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:47,591
I do stress, these are only tentative suggestions.
335
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,871
If they stay that way, fine.
But I won't agree to scenes
336
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:55,311
that depict me as Little Lord Fauntleroy
and Jean as Little Orphan Annie.
337
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,191
Would you excuse us?
338
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,719
Does Lionel have final script approval?
339
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,069
- Of course not.
- Excellent!
340
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,157
Believe me, Lionel,
I've taken your criticisms on board
341
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,033
and I shall straighten out Manny
as soon as I get to LA.
342
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,310
- Thank you.
- And not a nose punched.
343
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:20,309
I've got a bit lost. Now, does this mean that you
are going to be filming the old place or not?
344
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:25,070
Sir, I think this house is a dream location.
We shall be talking to you.
345
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,680
- We don't come cheap.
- We don't pay cheap.
346
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,836
Well, that sounds jolly good!
347
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,714
- Now, come on, who's for a game of pool?
- Oh, I'm on.
348
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,230
I'd love to, but Alistair and I
have to go to Edinburgh, Scotland.
349
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,716
Yes, we have to see a man
who knows a man, you know...
350
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,399
- Can we give you a lift to town?
- That's very kind,
351
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,115
but Lionel and I
are going to make love this afternoon.
352
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,551
Good. Um...
353
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,399
How very... Well, we'll catch you later.
354
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,437
We'll see you out.
355
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,189
Yes. Tell me, Mike, this limo of yours,
is it a souped-up job?
356
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,636
Hey, hey!
357
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,353
You two. Woof!
358
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,351
Now, why one earth did you say that?
359
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,030
I didn't want to get stuck in the car seat again.
I said the first thing that came into my head.
360
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,231
Well, you really must stop
saying things like that.
361
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:26,478
- Well, "a snooze in the garden" sounds dull.
- Yes, true.
362
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,276
- Well, shall we?
- Shall we what?
363
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,470
Well, have a snooze in the garden.
364
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,431
Yes, OK.
365
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,074
- It's lovely here.
- Yes, it is.
366
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,156
We should be making a move soon.
367
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,112
We're welcome to stay.
Madge and Rocky said so.
368
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,594
I know. But they're having some friends round,
369
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,757
and that'll degenerate
into a country and western evening.
370
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,791
We'll make a move soon.
371
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,831
Ah, here they are.
372
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:04,357
You know, you amaze me, you young people.
You seem to do nothing but sprawl about.
373
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,075
- What have you two been doing?
- Playing croquet. The vicious variety.
374
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,396
Yes, but I'm glad we caught you.
We wanted a word.
375
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,512
- Rocky, what are you doing?
- Ordering a round of drinks.
376
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,518
Oh, don't worry, it's only a starter's pistol.
377
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,959
(Chuckles)
378
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,912
It's much more civil than shouting,
don't you think?
379
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,475
Well, come on, Mrs Bale,
let's be hearing from you.
380
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,791
She enjoys it too, you know.
381
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,559
- Now, where was I?
- (Jean) Having a word.
382
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,592
Ah, yes. Yes, of course.
Where shall I start, Madge?
383
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,313
No shilly-shallying, plunge straight in.
384
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:45,753
Quite right, of course.
Lionel, my boy, we want you to have the house.
385
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,628
Oh, don't gawp dear. It doesn't suit you.
386
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,671
I simply...
387
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,875
Why do you want to give me the house?
388
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,435
Well, we haven't gone peculiar,
if that's what you're implying.
389
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,993
No...
390
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,919
Lionel's just shocked. People
don't give away houses every day, do they?
391
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,714
No, I suppose not, but, anyway,
it makes very good sense.
392
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,629
You see, Madge and I are mostly globe-trotting
at the moment. We're hardly ever here.
393
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,309
As a matter of fact,
we're off to Lithuania on Wednesday.
394
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:20,353
- I didn't know anyone went to Lithuania.
- That's why we're going.
395
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,437
Look here, you can't just give me a house!
396
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:28,508
I can do anything I damn well like!
It would have come to you eventually, anyhow.
397
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,870
- What about Madge?
- Oh, don't worry about me.
398
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,833
I've got the cottage.
Rocky and I will use that as a base.
399
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,395
- I just don't know what to say.
- I do.
400
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,716
- What happens to Mrs Bale?
- (Rocky) We shan't have her put down!
401
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:49,313
She can look after the cottage for us, and if you
needed help out here, just fire a starter's pistol.
402
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,558
We'll have to refine this signalling system.
403
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,354
One shot doesn't signify
which drink you require.
404
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,996
I'm quite good at archery.
What about arrows with messages on?
405
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,716
- Well, we shall see.
- We've told the young 'uns the good news.
406
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,751
And have our thank yous been said?
407
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,030
I'm still recovering.
408
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,071
I'm very grateful, Dad.
409
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,111
Oh, stuff and nonsense!
410
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:20,712
You're a bit on the serious side for my liking,
but I'm really quite fond of you.
411
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:25,072
I think you're dear people. Both of you.
412
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:29,033
Just give us a few weeks to clear out
our junk, and it's all yours.
413
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,197
We don't expect you to live in it
all the time, of course,
414
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,515
but it'll do for weekends and so on, won't it?
415
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,551
- Do?
- Do?
416
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,234
I always said he'd find the right girl.
417
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:43,114
- Took him long enough.
- Hark who's talking!
418
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,997
Now, you will be kind
to your vassals and serfs, won't you?
419
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,715
- What?
- Vassals and serfs.
420
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:57,356
- What vassals and serfs?
- Ha! It doesn't matter. Drink your drink.
421
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,391
Thanks.
422
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,915
Do you think Mike will tell Manny
to forget all that Merry England stuff?
423
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,430
- Do you know something? I don't care.
- Oh, I wish you meant that.
424
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,951
I do, I really do. I'll write the second episode,
they'll mangle it, and I don't care.
425
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,151
They can turn it into a musical
as far as I'm concerned.
426
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,428
Oh!
427
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,550
#Just two people
428
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,399
#Just two people #
429
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,957
I'm writing the opening number.
430
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,991
Are we alone?
431
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,358
Er...
432
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,755
Unless there's somebody under the sofa, yes.
433
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,268
- I meant Judith or Sandy.
- Yes, I know you did.
434
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,790
Yes, they left a note on the fridge:
"Painting the town."
435
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,638
- I'm glad.
- You're getting very liberal.
436
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,478
- I mean, I'm glad they're out.
- Mm.
437
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,559
So am I.
At last we've got a bit of weekend to ourselves.
438
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,794
- That was very well timed.
- I didn't know you were going to lean on me.
439
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,834
- I wasn't going to lean, just snuggle up.
- No, that would get in the way at the moment.
440
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,871
Oh, I'm sorry.
441
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,309
- The way of what?
- Well...
442
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,590
All this should have happened
all those years ago.
443
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,997
Your letter would have reached me in Korea
and I would have come home, and...
444
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,996
Well, actually, I'd have done this.
445
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,238
Ooh! But my knee wouldn't have clicked then.
446
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,030
- Yes.
- No, it wouldn't.
447
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,071
Yes, I will marry you.
448
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,429
- Well, I haven't asked you yet.
- But you were going to, weren't you?
449
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,790
Yes, but I'd sooner actually say it,
if it's all the same to you.
450
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,831
Sorry.
451
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,432
- Are you all right down there?
- Yes, I'm fine.
452
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,357
Now, you may...
453
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,391
Thank you.
454
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,796
You may think that
I've taken a long while getting around to this.
455
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,159
- Yes!
- What?
456
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,758
No.
457
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,836
- There is a reason.
- Cold feet?
458
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,871
- May I finish, or not?
- Sorry, sorry.
459
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,194
I didn't really have anything to offer you.
460
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,835
I mean, dribs and drabs of money
from the book, the odd lecture.
461
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,919
I mean, the television money, that's fine,
but it won't last forever.
462
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,953
But now, with a house, I can offer you
something proper, something real.
463
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,117
That's why you were going on about the money.
464
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,789
It probably sounds stupid,
but that's the way I am.
465
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,115
No, it's not stupid.
466
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,151
And there's something else.
467
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,430
- Oh, is there?
- Yes.
468
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,995
I fell in love with you the first day I met you.
469
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,277
And I don't think I've ever stopped loving you.
470
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,317
Well, that's it, really.
471
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,918
- I love you, too.
- Well, that's good.
472
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,310
- Can I say yes now?
- Yes, please.
473
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,316
Yes.
474
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,515
There's always something, isn't there?
475
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,756
- What is it?
- My knee's locked!
476
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,791
It doesn't matter.
477
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,431
# You must remember this
478
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,595
# A kiss is still a kiss
479
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,077
# A sigh is just a sigh
480
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,789
# The fundamental things apply
481
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,719
# As time goes by
482
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,468
# And when two lovers woo
483
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,353
# They still say I love you
484
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,517
# On that you can rely
485
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,392
# The world will always welcome lovers
486
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:49,993
# As time goes by #
487
00:28:50,043 --> 00:28:54,593
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