Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,003 --> 00:00:02,843
Previously on
Another Period...
2
00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:04,876
Once a month, we have to have
procreation sex
3
00:00:04,878 --> 00:00:06,345
with our dumb husbands.
4
00:00:06,347 --> 00:00:07,847
Done.
5
00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:09,647
Dear Lord, please let me
get a divorce.
6
00:00:09,649 --> 00:00:10,981
We're in a homosexual
relationship.
7
00:00:10,983 --> 00:00:12,851
I don't care about anything.
8
00:00:12,853 --> 00:00:14,653
I literally have no
behavioral standards at all.
9
00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:15,855
My name is Celine, madam.
10
00:00:15,857 --> 00:00:18,156
Servant, your name
is Chair now.
11
00:00:18,158 --> 00:00:20,826
I think the Commodore
is having an affair.
12
00:00:20,828 --> 00:00:22,961
You need to know your place!
13
00:00:22,963 --> 00:00:26,832
- It's downstairs!
- [screaming]
14
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:30,768
Someone wrote an expose about our family.
They called us "The Modern Pigs"!
15
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:32,804
I cannot have this scandal!
16
00:00:32,806 --> 00:00:34,573
You're banished from Bellacourt!
17
00:00:34,575 --> 00:00:36,274
Hey, it's the Pig Sisters.
18
00:00:36,276 --> 00:00:39,243
I never met anyone
famous before.
19
00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:40,246
Famous?
20
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,648
Forget trying to get
accepted into society.
21
00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:45,584
We're going to get famous.
22
00:00:45,586 --> 00:00:47,920
Yeah!
23
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,188
I'm money
24
00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:52,557
I want the money,
I want the fame
25
00:00:52,559 --> 00:00:54,993
I want the whole world
to know my name
26
00:00:54,995 --> 00:00:57,329
this is mine,
I got to get it
27
00:00:57,331 --> 00:00:59,830
I got to get it,
got, got to get it
28
00:00:59,832 --> 00:01:01,135
"Another Period"
29
00:01:01,336 --> 00:01:03,704
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:03,739 --> 00:01:05,202
[giggling]
31
00:01:05,204 --> 00:01:06,872
It's been a pretty wild ride
32
00:01:06,874 --> 00:01:08,273
since the "Modern Pigs"
came out.
33
00:01:08,275 --> 00:01:10,241
At first,
everyone new our names.
34
00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:14,179
It gave us adoration, glamour,
and most of all, dignity.
35
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:16,547
Unfortunately, we live
in the fast-paced world
36
00:01:16,549 --> 00:01:18,384
of the bimonthly news cycle,
so we're yesterday's news.
37
00:01:18,386 --> 00:01:21,954
Yes, a white child lost
his hand at the tuna cannery,
38
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,021
and now that's all
the press is covering
39
00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:24,589
and we're stuck
living here in this
40
00:01:24,591 --> 00:01:27,993
coal mine or this--
this barn.
41
00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:28,594
What would you
call this place?
42
00:01:28,596 --> 00:01:30,196
It's my home.
43
00:01:30,198 --> 00:01:33,598
Home for your dogs, or where
you put your dog's shit?
44
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,134
If you don't like it, maybe
it's time for you to leave.
45
00:01:36,136 --> 00:01:38,202
Penelope, can you ask your
friends to leave us alone?
46
00:01:38,204 --> 00:01:40,639
They're not my friends,
they're my children.
47
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,807
And it's not Penelope,
it Pee-nuh-lope.
48
00:01:42,809 --> 00:01:44,776
Like a cross between a penis
and a cantaloupe.
49
00:01:44,778 --> 00:01:47,312
Oh, well, anyway,
Penis Cantaloupe,
50
00:01:47,314 --> 00:01:49,313
you know what would
make us feel better?
51
00:01:49,315 --> 00:01:51,449
Fine.
52
00:01:51,451 --> 00:01:52,818
[light classical music]
53
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,753
Oh, wow,
as I live and breathe!
54
00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:59,491
- It really is the Pig Sisters!
- Why, yes, it is us.
55
00:01:59,493 --> 00:02:01,627
- Oink oink!
- [snorting]
56
00:02:01,629 --> 00:02:03,931
- Where is everyone going?
- Hello, we're right here.
57
00:02:05,632 --> 00:02:07,099
- Hello?
- This is all your fault.
58
00:02:07,101 --> 00:02:08,766
[snorting]
Remember us from two weeks ago?
59
00:02:08,768 --> 00:02:10,335
- [applause]
- [camera shutter clicking]
60
00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:11,937
Thank you.
61
00:02:11,939 --> 00:02:13,671
A bench in my honor.
62
00:02:13,673 --> 00:02:17,308
I will cherish this forever.
63
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:18,544
Thank you.
64
00:02:18,546 --> 00:02:20,646
Why is she famous?
She's not even pretty.
65
00:02:20,648 --> 00:02:23,148
It's Harriet Tubman
from the Underground Railroad.
66
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,816
One of the most famous people
in the world.
67
00:02:24,818 --> 00:02:26,184
She helped free
all those slaves.
68
00:02:26,186 --> 00:02:27,820
Huh, she ought to
free herself from that
69
00:02:27,822 --> 00:02:28,553
burlap sack
around her head.
70
00:02:28,555 --> 00:02:31,689
[both laugh]
71
00:02:31,691 --> 00:02:33,260
- Let's go talk to her.
- Mm-hmm.
72
00:02:34,661 --> 00:02:37,063
Hello, Harriet Tubman?
73
00:02:37,065 --> 00:02:40,265
We would like to become famous
how you are
74
00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:43,601
but still young and pretty
how we are.
75
00:02:43,603 --> 00:02:49,373
Why don't you girls come
with me for a nice cup of tea?
76
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:52,844
77
00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:54,212
According to your resume,
you were
78
00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:55,948
the second footman
at the Breaker's.
79
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,415
How did you find
that experience?
80
00:02:57,417 --> 00:03:01,385
Well, I was awarded
the Golden Dustpan twice.
81
00:03:01,387 --> 00:03:05,189
Well, I think
I've heard all I need to.
82
00:03:05,191 --> 00:03:09,494
You see, we have no need for
braggarts here at Bellacourt.
83
00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:11,897
I trust you can
see yourself out,
84
00:03:11,899 --> 00:03:13,231
that is, if you can
see past that nose
85
00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:14,433
you've got stuck up
in the air.
86
00:03:14,435 --> 00:03:15,200
Good day, sir.
87
00:03:15,202 --> 00:03:17,002
- Mr. Peepers?
- Hmm?
88
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:19,570
That was the 37th candidate
we've seen.
89
00:03:19,572 --> 00:03:20,905
Indeed, it was, Garfield,
90
00:03:20,907 --> 00:03:23,175
and I will see 137 more
if need be.
91
00:03:23,177 --> 00:03:25,878
I will never settle when it
comes to Bellacourt.
92
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,212
I let down my guard
once when hiring
93
00:03:28,214 --> 00:03:30,381
she-who-shall-not-be-named.
94
00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:31,884
You-- um, Chair?
95
00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:32,917
Well, of course
I mean Chair.
96
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:34,719
Who else could I
possibly mean?
97
00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:37,189
Never again, Garfield.
Next!
98
00:03:37,191 --> 00:03:40,659
Well, come in, take a seat,
quit your quavering.
99
00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:41,927
Your resume?
100
00:03:41,929 --> 00:03:46,631
101
00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:48,066
What is this name, "Floble"?
102
00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:49,266
Flobelle, sir.
103
00:03:49,268 --> 00:03:52,704
Very well,
let's start with flowers.
104
00:03:52,706 --> 00:03:56,074
It's a mid-fall day,
dark clouds on the horizon,
105
00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:58,143
the eldest daughter has been
dreaming of giants.
106
00:03:58,145 --> 00:04:02,081
Please describe
the flower scheme for the home.
107
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:04,683
Azaleas in the foyer,
pink peonies in the bedroom,
108
00:04:04,685 --> 00:04:06,985
and a smattering of flying duck
orchids in the outhouses.
109
00:04:06,987 --> 00:04:09,121
That is correct.
110
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:10,789
What is your favorite type
of pewter?
111
00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:14,525
Low lead, high silver.
112
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:17,630
The lady of the house wishes
to take a night walk.
113
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,366
She needs her 1881 Sears
and Roebuck taffeta gown
114
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:22,967
- brought to her and buttoned.
- What's the question?
115
00:04:22,969 --> 00:04:24,936
The question is, Flobelle,
do you button it
116
00:04:24,938 --> 00:04:27,606
while she's standing there,
117
00:04:27,608 --> 00:04:28,873
or do you wait for her
to go on the veranda?
118
00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:33,010
[suspenseful music]
119
00:04:33,012 --> 00:04:36,315
Well, the answer is neither.
120
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,717
Well, I can-- I've had all
the insolence I can take.
121
00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:40,385
Thank you very much, Floble,
or Flobelle, or whatever it is--
122
00:04:40,387 --> 00:04:43,322
The answer is neither
because it's not possible.
123
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:48,426
Sears and Roebuck manufactured
74 different night coats in the 1880s.
124
00:04:48,428 --> 00:04:50,262
It wasn't until 1898
that Sears and Roebuck
125
00:04:50,264 --> 00:04:52,496
began manufacturing taffeta
night coats with buttons.
126
00:04:52,498 --> 00:04:54,133
So, you see,
I couldn't have buttoned it,
127
00:04:54,135 --> 00:04:56,068
because there wouldn't be
any buttons.
128
00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:59,270
[stammering]
129
00:04:59,272 --> 00:05:02,274
But if there were to be
buttons, well,
130
00:05:02,276 --> 00:05:03,407
I would let the lady determine
where she'd like
131
00:05:03,409 --> 00:05:07,178
her buttons buttoned
because it's not up to me.
132
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:09,181
Because nothing is up to me.
133
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,784
Because I am just a servant.
134
00:05:11,786 --> 00:05:14,019
Any further questions, sir?
135
00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:16,322
Just one.
136
00:05:16,324 --> 00:05:17,755
When can you start?
137
00:05:17,757 --> 00:05:21,493
I already have.
138
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,628
Don't touch.
139
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:25,697
Oh, nice...
140
00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:27,965
warm cup...
141
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,969
of chicory tea.
142
00:05:30,971 --> 00:05:33,839
Sit the fuck down!
143
00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:35,541
You want the secret
to my success?
144
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,707
- Yes.
- Huh?
145
00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:37,609
- Yes.
- Yes, please.
146
00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:40,012
- Well, I can teach you.
- You can?
147
00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:44,717
Yes, but first...
where is my money?
148
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,452
- Where is my money?
- We don't have any money.
149
00:05:47,454 --> 00:05:50,089
But we do have
some walking-around gold.
150
00:05:50,091 --> 00:05:52,858
Walking-around gold?
151
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:55,693
All aboard, bitches!
152
00:05:55,695 --> 00:05:58,262
Next stop, Tubman Town.
153
00:05:58,264 --> 00:06:00,464
I cut my own checks
154
00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:02,267
I don't need the bank
155
00:06:02,269 --> 00:06:03,467
Commodore,
speaking as your lawyer,
156
00:06:03,469 --> 00:06:06,772
even if you sell all
of your assets in the west,
157
00:06:06,774 --> 00:06:08,039
you are still going under.
158
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:11,243
What else can I
possibly sell?
159
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,111
The Imaginarium?
160
00:06:12,113 --> 00:06:15,046
The October house in Prague?
161
00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:16,748
The December house in Prague?
162
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:20,118
My beautiful, yet impractical,
diamond underpants?
163
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,589
Sir, what about...
164
00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:26,125
Hortense?
165
00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:27,524
We could put a bow on her.
166
00:06:27,526 --> 00:06:28,560
You can put a turd
on a bun,
167
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:31,496
but the jig is up
after the first bite.
168
00:06:31,498 --> 00:06:33,664
I am sorry, sir,
but you are nearly broke,
169
00:06:33,666 --> 00:06:37,402
and this shit sandwich
may be your last hope.
170
00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:40,572
No one wants to do business with
a man whose wife eats opium.
171
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,606
And I dare get started
on the mistress.
172
00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:44,041
Enough!
173
00:06:44,043 --> 00:06:45,876
[somber music]
174
00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:47,712
You leave her out of this!
175
00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:49,748
176
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:54,355
Celine.
My sweet Celine!
177
00:06:56,557 --> 00:06:59,524
Hello, Chair.
I was just checking on you.
178
00:06:59,526 --> 00:07:03,294
I wanted to make sure
that you were all right.
179
00:07:03,296 --> 00:07:05,029
You did this to her.
180
00:07:05,031 --> 00:07:06,597
Blanche, you did it.
181
00:07:06,599 --> 00:07:09,301
No, no, no, it wasn't me,
it was you.
182
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,769
No, you did it.
183
00:07:10,771 --> 00:07:14,072
What?
No.
184
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:18,543
You're a bad, bad girl,
Blanche.
185
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:19,945
No, no, no, please.
I don't--
186
00:07:19,947 --> 00:07:21,346
I don't want to go to jail!
187
00:07:21,348 --> 00:07:23,315
Oh, your life is over, Blanche.
188
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,784
That is, unless she
never wakes up.
189
00:07:26,786 --> 00:07:30,789
[tense music]
190
00:07:30,791 --> 00:07:31,656
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
191
00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:34,092
192
00:07:34,094 --> 00:07:38,162
There you go.
There you go!
193
00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:42,099
194
00:07:42,101 --> 00:07:43,034
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
195
00:07:43,036 --> 00:07:44,304
Her water just broke!
196
00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:50,242
Look at her!
197
00:07:50,244 --> 00:07:53,379
If only she were different
in every way.
198
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:56,516
She's your only shot
at saving the fortune.
199
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,619
Speaking of shots,
I'm still conscious.
200
00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:03,355
Peepers, let's change that.
201
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,290
Your father needs
to marry you off.
202
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:06,725
- No.
- To save the family.
203
00:08:06,727 --> 00:08:09,227
Never!
204
00:08:09,229 --> 00:08:10,662
I just don't think
it's going to work.
205
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,098
It will not work
because I refuse to cooperate--
206
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,001
- You might be right.
- ...with no ideas of her own...
207
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:16,602
You know, she's not only
just toothy, she's lippy too.
208
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:19,071
...whose sole purpose on Earth
is to please men,
209
00:08:19,073 --> 00:08:20,939
like Lillian and Beatrice!
210
00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:23,075
Sorry you can't just
marry them off twice!
211
00:08:23,077 --> 00:08:24,944
Now, I don't know
if you've been listening,
212
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:27,579
but she's talking nonstop.
213
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:28,948
Peach, wire the Pope.
214
00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:31,284
I have an idea.
215
00:08:31,286 --> 00:08:32,617
I just want the money
216
00:08:32,619 --> 00:08:34,819
I just want the money
217
00:08:34,821 --> 00:08:37,891
How do you think I became
the Moses of my people?
218
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,593
You think they just started
calling me that on their own?
219
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:41,895
We've never really thought
about other people ever,
220
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,598
so I don't know.
221
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,266
Well, honey child,
I thought of that shit, mm-hmm.
222
00:08:47,268 --> 00:08:49,401
You ever hear
of Jelson Paramour?
223
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,938
- No.
- Exactly.
224
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:54,506
Jelson freed more slaves
than anybody in history,
225
00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:57,876
but he didn't know a thing
about branding.
226
00:08:57,878 --> 00:08:59,911
He wanted to call it
the "Slave Connection."
227
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:02,314
Ugh.
228
00:09:02,316 --> 00:09:06,184
But slavery had
such a negative connotation.
229
00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:08,121
Why?
230
00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:12,190
So I said to him,
"Let's make it about trains."
231
00:09:12,192 --> 00:09:14,593
White folks love themselves
some trains.
232
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,795
We really do.
[giggles]
233
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:19,332
20 years later,
I'm a legend.
234
00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,968
Someday, they'll even
put me on money.
235
00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,935
We love money.
236
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:25,471
And Jelson?
237
00:09:25,473 --> 00:09:28,174
Threw himself
in front of a train.
238
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:29,442
[both gasp]
239
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,178
Very ironic.
240
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,347
It is funny.
[laughs]
241
00:09:34,349 --> 00:09:36,115
Thank you
for showing me around.
242
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,684
I'm sure you have a lot more
important things to be doing.
243
00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:40,319
Oh, I most certainly do.
244
00:09:40,321 --> 00:09:43,222
I basically run
the entire household.
245
00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:45,256
Hello.
[slurps]
246
00:09:45,258 --> 00:09:47,359
Mmm.
Bit more saffron.
247
00:09:47,361 --> 00:09:51,997
Uh, I was sanitizing
the chamber pots.
248
00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:52,931
Yes.
249
00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:55,468
Well, a bit more saffron
will do it.
250
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,001
Where's Mr. Peepers?
251
00:09:57,003 --> 00:10:00,473
Um, don't you mean,
"Where's Mr. Garfield?"
252
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:03,242
Chair has gone into labor!
253
00:10:03,244 --> 00:10:05,511
Where's Mr. Peepers?
Please help me!
254
00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:07,346
'Cause I can't do that!
I can't do it!
255
00:10:07,348 --> 00:10:09,348
Listen to me, Flobelle!
Flobelle.
256
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:11,550
Her first job
is to deliver baby.
257
00:10:11,552 --> 00:10:12,184
That will be good.
258
00:10:12,186 --> 00:10:14,520
There is no problem!
259
00:10:14,522 --> 00:10:15,688
turn up, turn up, turn up
260
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:16,421
turn up the bass
261
00:10:16,423 --> 00:10:17,622
[light classical music]
262
00:10:17,624 --> 00:10:19,891
It's a good thing
it's chilly out,
263
00:10:19,893 --> 00:10:21,560
otherwise, I'd need
a bigger canvass.
264
00:10:21,562 --> 00:10:23,429
[both giggling]
265
00:10:23,431 --> 00:10:26,498
Gentlemen...
[clear throat]
266
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,968
I'm afraid I have
some bad news.
267
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:30,837
Oh, I swear, if opera diva
Jenny Lind is dead,
268
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,872
- I will kill myself!
- Don't tell me Hamburg hats
269
00:10:33,874 --> 00:10:34,506
are out of style.
270
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,308
I just bought four!
271
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,011
Will you two shut up?
272
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,780
The time has come for you
to leave Bellacourt for good.
273
00:10:40,782 --> 00:10:41,814
No, no, no,
don't kick us out!
274
00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:44,216
I can't go back
to Lower Bavaria!
275
00:10:44,218 --> 00:10:46,386
- Unless...
- Unless what?
276
00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:48,721
Unless you agree
to grant annulments
277
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:50,223
to Lillian and Beatrice.
278
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:51,823
We've been married
for 20 years.
279
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,525
Who's gonna give us
an annulment?
280
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,428
The Pope owes me a favor.
281
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:58,497
Remember when I allowed those
displaced priests to stay here?
282
00:10:58,499 --> 00:11:00,599
How could I forget?
283
00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:03,202
I know this must be difficult
for you.
284
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,703
But think of the family.
285
00:11:05,705 --> 00:11:08,140
both: Annulment!
Annulment! Annulment!
286
00:11:08,142 --> 00:11:10,008
- [giggling]
- Oh, very good.
287
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:13,545
If we gonna develop
the Bellacourt brand,
288
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,914
we need to figure out
what you're good at.
289
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:18,217
Well, my personal talent is
that I can make anyone cry
290
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,117
in under 60 seconds.
291
00:11:19,119 --> 00:11:21,386
Oh, 30 if they're a widow.
292
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:22,722
And mine is that
I've assigned a color
293
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:23,588
to every letter
in the alphabet.
294
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:28,261
A is red, B is blue,
C is 11...
295
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:29,596
that's as high as I can go.
296
00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:31,731
Uh, I have an idea.
297
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,032
I'll say a word,
and I want you to say
298
00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:36,301
the first thing
that comes to your mind, okay?
299
00:11:36,303 --> 00:11:38,703
- Okay.
- Passion.
300
00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:40,338
- Diamonds.
- Incest.
301
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,372
Love.
302
00:11:41,374 --> 00:11:41,973
- Diamonds.
- Incest.
303
00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:43,508
Success.
304
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,877
- Diamonds.
- Incest baby.
305
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:49,015
Ooh, um, I think we're
on the wrong track, here.
306
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,718
Oh, I get it.
Because of trains.
307
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,986
Oh!
[both laughing]
308
00:11:53,988 --> 00:11:55,655
Maybe we need to go
the humanitarian route.
309
00:11:55,657 --> 00:11:58,491
Find a cause that you two
can get behind.
310
00:11:58,493 --> 00:12:00,793
But there's
no good causes left.
311
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,795
Everything's perfect.
312
00:12:02,797 --> 00:12:05,298
Women don't have to vote,
we can drink as much as we want,
313
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,565
and children can work
just as much as anyone else.
314
00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:08,834
Ugh, she's right.
315
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:10,770
There's no problems left
in the world.
316
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,641
You're so lucky
you had slavery.
317
00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:15,440
[hip-hop music]
318
00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:17,108
damn son
319
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:19,444
- Come on, get this--
- Can you give me this?
320
00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:20,847
No, stop!
You're gonna crush it!
321
00:12:20,849 --> 00:12:21,881
Ah!
Oh, I'm sorry, Chair.
322
00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:24,317
Push!
Push on the belly, just--
323
00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:26,484
I don't think you're supposed
to push on the belly.
324
00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:28,987
Yes, push it down,
and it'll pop right out.
325
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:30,122
Okay.
326
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,690
[grunting]
327
00:12:31,692 --> 00:12:33,626
It's not working!
328
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,861
Pull-- pull her down!
329
00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:35,727
We need to open her legs.
330
00:12:35,729 --> 00:12:37,663
Everything is beautiful.
331
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,431
Here comes your baby.
332
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:41,166
Maybe if we, like, pump like a
bicycle, we'll pump it out.
333
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:42,834
Yes!
Yes.
334
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:45,637
- Oh, Flobelle.
- I think this is gonna work.
335
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,473
There you go, Chair.
336
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,275
Here comes the baby.
337
00:12:49,277 --> 00:12:50,409
Oh.
338
00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:53,545
- Yes, hi, Dr. Goldberg.
- Garfield.
339
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:54,546
Wait, doctor?
340
00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:55,814
You're a doctor?
341
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,684
- Why aren't you doing this?
- No, no, no.
342
00:12:58,686 --> 00:13:00,819
I'd probably
just muck everything up,
343
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,389
what with my years
of intensive medical training,
344
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:04,857
my degree in
the medical field--
345
00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:06,092
Why are you being
so passive-aggressive?
346
00:13:06,094 --> 00:13:08,828
I'll tell you what.
You keep delivering the baby,
347
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,330
I'll go downstairs,
grab some Borax
348
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,498
and cleaning utensils,
and I'll scrub the floors!
349
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,901
We're gonna kill them both!
350
00:13:15,903 --> 00:13:17,370
- Please!
- Please what?
351
00:13:17,372 --> 00:13:18,570
- Please help!
- Doc--
352
00:13:18,572 --> 00:13:21,006
- Doctor.
- Doctor, that's right.
353
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,809
I am trained in the medical
profession and here to help.
354
00:13:23,811 --> 00:13:26,245
I'm going to need
the greatest technology
355
00:13:26,247 --> 00:13:28,646
medicine has to offer--
a wet rag and a scalpel.
356
00:13:28,648 --> 00:13:31,787
[spits]
Let's get this baby born.
357
00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:36,322
Now, Commodore,
I think we need to discuss
358
00:13:36,324 --> 00:13:37,190
these donations to charity.
359
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,158
The only charity
I donate to
360
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,860
is the Men's Health Clinic
of Newport.
361
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,495
And that's specifically
for finding a cure for syphilis.
362
00:13:43,497 --> 00:13:47,267
[wheezes]
363
00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:49,503
In the last decade,
your wife has donated
364
00:13:49,505 --> 00:13:52,739
over $50 million
to various charities
365
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:54,674
in the greater Newport area.
366
00:13:54,676 --> 00:13:56,809
What?
Dodo!
367
00:13:56,811 --> 00:14:00,114
I'll destroy her!
368
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:01,815
Dodo's ruined me!
369
00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:03,283
If she has been spending
without your consent,
370
00:14:03,285 --> 00:14:06,152
you have every reason
to get rid of her.
371
00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:07,721
Kill her with my bare hands,
you say?
372
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,856
[gasps]
Oh!
373
00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:12,158
Uh, no.
374
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,994
That's a bit messy.
375
00:14:13,996 --> 00:14:16,363
Just send her away.
376
00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:17,129
Right.
377
00:14:17,131 --> 00:14:21,902
Hobson, contact the asylum.
378
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,070
Dodo's going jacket shopping...
379
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,938
straitjacket shopping!
380
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,539
[dramatic music]
381
00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:30,744
Madam. Madam!
Listen to me.
382
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,578
You are in grave danger.
You must come with me now!
383
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:37,517
Oh, Peepers, I haven't come
since the Polk administration.
384
00:14:37,519 --> 00:14:39,352
This is no time
for joking, madam,
385
00:14:39,354 --> 00:14:41,888
although I found that remark
very funny.
386
00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:43,490
I jest not, hireling.
387
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:45,258
I am no longer
an orgasmic woman.
388
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,595
Not even the bumpiest
of carriage rides
389
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:49,863
can grape my raisin.
390
00:14:49,865 --> 00:14:51,331
Lady Dodo, please!
391
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,866
The Commodore is going to-- oh!
392
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:54,734
Leave me be, Peepers.
393
00:14:54,736 --> 00:14:57,437
That is an order.
394
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,739
I will meet my fate
as I choose.
395
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:02,241
[somber music]
396
00:15:02,243 --> 00:15:04,443
As you wish, madam.
397
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:12,220
398
00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:25,932
[dramatic music]
399
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:29,469
[grunts]
Dodo!
400
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,736
Dodo!
401
00:15:30,738 --> 00:15:31,604
402
00:15:31,606 --> 00:15:33,972
Dodo!
403
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:38,144
404
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,613
[gasping]
405
00:15:39,615 --> 00:15:43,783
Dodo!
Aah!
406
00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:46,119
So you want to get famous?
407
00:15:46,121 --> 00:15:47,486
Yes.
408
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,821
I think you need
to do something
409
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,822
that makes a splash.
410
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,124
I like where you're going
with this.
411
00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:54,126
You're going to be
the first people
412
00:15:54,128 --> 00:15:57,029
to go over Niagara Falls
in a barrel!
413
00:15:57,031 --> 00:15:59,432
Aah!
[giggles]
414
00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:02,501
You'll be the famous
Bellacourt Barrel Sisters,
415
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:07,542
and all you have to do
is go down the falls like this.
416
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:11,778
Well, you get the idea.
417
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:16,081
Commodore has tasked me with
finding Lillian and Beatrice.
418
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:18,585
And if there is a Bellacourt
within a thousand miles of me,
419
00:16:18,587 --> 00:16:20,352
then by God,
like pieces of lint
420
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,322
on a freshly pressed
cummerbund,
421
00:16:22,324 --> 00:16:24,523
I'll sniff them out.
422
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,893
Not until I found that
god-awful Pee-nuh-lope woman
423
00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,394
in all of her middle-class
squalor did I discover
424
00:16:29,396 --> 00:16:32,365
all this waterfall nonsense.
425
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:32,932
[gasps and yelps]
426
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:35,335
[baby cries]
427
00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:36,869
[pots clanging]
428
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,437
[whimpering]
Oh, no!
429
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:41,942
[objects clattering]
430
00:16:41,944 --> 00:16:43,842
[sobbing]
Oh, no!
431
00:16:43,844 --> 00:16:45,278
Where are they?
432
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,479
I don't know.
433
00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:47,547
No!
Not the baby!
434
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,316
- [baby crying]
- Where are they?
435
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:52,719
Okay, I'll tell you!
[screams]
436
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:54,488
[gasps]
You were about to tell me,
437
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,222
and I threw the baby.
438
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,891
I did not expect you
to tell me.
439
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,092
That's why I threw the baby.
440
00:16:59,094 --> 00:17:00,026
I am so sorry.
I am so very sorry.
441
00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:02,461
He's not crying!
442
00:17:02,463 --> 00:17:04,230
I'm sure he's fine.
I'll go get the baby.
443
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,232
No!
[sobbing]
444
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,301
There he is.
I think he's fine.
445
00:17:09,303 --> 00:17:11,003
I think he's fine.
446
00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:11,671
- Oh!
- No worse for the wear.
447
00:17:11,673 --> 00:17:13,172
What's wrong with you?
448
00:17:13,174 --> 00:17:15,008
I lost my temper
and I apologize.
449
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:15,976
[hip-hop music]
450
00:17:15,978 --> 00:17:20,579
[dramatic music]
451
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,416
Are you sure this
is a good idea?
452
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,417
Beatrice, I've never
seen anyone be such a baby
453
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,253
about going over a
160-foot waterfall in a barrel.
454
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,189
Oh.
455
00:17:30,191 --> 00:17:31,223
How do we look?
456
00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:32,592
Like two white women.
457
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,093
Now get down in the barrel.
458
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,627
Get in there.
Get in there.
459
00:17:35,629 --> 00:17:37,431
Get on.
460
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:40,266
[bottles clattering]
461
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,734
Oh! Can I have my lucky ship
in a bottle?
462
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:44,269
As you wish.
463
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,373
- There you go.
- Thank you!
464
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,042
Now get down in there
really good.
465
00:17:52,312 --> 00:17:55,082
They'll be dead on impact.
466
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:56,449
[both panting]
467
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,116
Wait.
What did he say?
468
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,885
I heard, "Good luck!"
469
00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:02,087
470
00:18:02,089 --> 00:18:04,923
[train whistle blows]
471
00:18:04,925 --> 00:18:10,195
472
00:18:10,197 --> 00:18:12,265
[gasps]
Ooh!
473
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,866
474
00:18:13,868 --> 00:18:17,737
[whimpering]
I just want you to know...
475
00:18:17,739 --> 00:18:19,071
if anything happens to us,
I really,
476
00:18:19,073 --> 00:18:22,407
really loved being rich.
477
00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:24,809
478
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:27,113
[gasps]
479
00:18:27,115 --> 00:18:29,080
[Lillian and Beatrice screaming]
480
00:18:29,082 --> 00:18:31,886
Nooooo!
481
00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,156
My God!
482
00:18:35,158 --> 00:18:36,622
He's magnificent.
483
00:18:36,624 --> 00:18:40,761
I shall name you Kermit.
Kermit the Baby.
484
00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:43,863
Yes.
"Kermit. Kermit the Baby."
485
00:18:43,865 --> 00:18:46,568
The repetition will help people
remember his name.
486
00:18:52,675 --> 00:18:55,076
Oh, God!
Girls!
487
00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:57,110
Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
488
00:18:57,112 --> 00:18:59,580
Oh, girls!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
489
00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:00,680
Lady Beatrice!
Lady Beatrice!
490
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,283
- Ah!
- Oh! Oh, you're all right!
491
00:19:03,285 --> 00:19:05,285
Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
492
00:19:05,287 --> 00:19:06,753
Stand up.
Stand up, Lady Beatrice!
493
00:19:06,755 --> 00:19:08,355
There you are!
There you are!
494
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,523
Lillian!
Lady Lillian!
495
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,491
[retches]
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
496
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:14,762
You're alive!
Upsy-daisy.
497
00:19:14,764 --> 00:19:16,597
There you are, dear.
Stand up.
498
00:19:16,599 --> 00:19:17,965
There you are.
499
00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:22,334
Ladies and gentlemen,
Harriet Tubman!
500
00:19:22,336 --> 00:19:24,571
- [applause]
- Thank you, all.
501
00:19:24,573 --> 00:19:27,808
- Harriet, we did it!
- We're alive!
502
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,944
So it brings me great pleasure
to introduce my newest venture.
503
00:19:29,946 --> 00:19:30,778
Harriet?
504
00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:32,812
Tubman's Man-Tubs.
505
00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:34,549
"The Strongest Tub
a Man Can Buy."
506
00:19:34,551 --> 00:19:37,451
Even those two
pathetic heiresses
507
00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:40,154
survived a tumble in my tub!
508
00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:42,289
[applause]
509
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:44,558
- What?
- Uh, no! No!
510
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,292
She's taking all the attention!
511
00:19:46,294 --> 00:19:49,128
She Jelson Paramour'd us!
512
00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:50,296
- [sobs angrily]
- Shh.
513
00:19:50,298 --> 00:19:51,965
Come on, girls.
514
00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:53,266
Let's go home.
515
00:19:53,268 --> 00:19:58,304
Let's go home
516
00:19:58,306 --> 00:20:01,007
[together]
Let's go home
517
00:20:01,009 --> 00:20:04,645
[hip-hop music]
518
00:20:04,647 --> 00:20:06,346
Daddy, I'm so happy
we're home.
519
00:20:06,348 --> 00:20:08,648
Yes, could one of your lawyers
draw us a Beluga bath?
520
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,850
Not so fast.
521
00:20:10,852 --> 00:20:12,785
Here's how this
is going to work.
522
00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:15,321
I will allow you to return
to Bellacourt Manor
523
00:20:15,323 --> 00:20:19,392
under one condition.
524
00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:21,695
I've had my legal team
draw up documents.
525
00:20:21,697 --> 00:20:24,831
You will sign them, annulling
your respective marriages
526
00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,332
to Victor and Albert.
527
00:20:26,334 --> 00:20:28,468
I know you love your husbands.
528
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:30,036
You've spent
your lives together.
529
00:20:30,038 --> 00:20:32,673
- This must be difficult for you.
- Mm-mm.
530
00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:34,876
But in order
to save this family,
531
00:20:34,878 --> 00:20:41,715
I need you to start dating rich,
eligible bachelors.
532
00:20:41,717 --> 00:20:43,686
Do you understand?
533
00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:47,620
[both squeal and giggle]
534
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,124
Oh, that's a daddy's girls!
535
00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:52,693
Ooh!
536
00:20:52,695 --> 00:20:54,026
Ah, ah, ah, not that one.
Thank you.
537
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:57,290
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
538
00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:01,890
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38091
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
