Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,838
Okay, Mr Peterson, it's your turn
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,719
to send a tape-recorded hello
to my folks back home.
3
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,638
I don't know what
to say here, Woody.
4
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,870
Just hurry it up, will you.
I've got some audio gems
5
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,759
that'll have them howling
in the old Hoosier state.
6
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,112
Okay, just let me find the end
of Miss Chambers' message here.
7
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,508
Alrighty.
8
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,069
Your son is
a hardworking young man.
9
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,674
You should be proud.
We at Cheers certainly are.
10
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,512
And what's more--
11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,996
I think it's a little further along here.
12
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:37,076
I believe it was Elizabeth
Barrett Browning who said--
13
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,594
Now let me tell you
a little bit about myself.
14
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,911
All right, fill me up, Woody.
I think we're in here for a while.
15
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:04,171
Okeydokey, Mr Peterson, found
the end of Miss Chambers' message.
16
00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:06,154
It's ready to go.
17
00:02:06,943 --> 00:02:10,015
Hi, folks. This is Norm.
18
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:17,587
Oh, no, that's the end of the tape.
19
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,907
Sorry you didn't get
to leave your whole message.
20
00:02:20,165 --> 00:02:22,201
That was the whole message.
21
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:24,492
Oh, thanks.
22
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:27,665
Sam, two Beefeater martinis, please.
23
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:33,637
Well, you're just
bubbling with energy.
24
00:02:33,929 --> 00:02:38,844
You must've mastered the childproof
cap on your Flintstones vitamins.
25
00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:41,687
That's pretty cute, Diane.
26
00:02:44,356 --> 00:02:46,187
Scored again.
27
00:02:47,276 --> 00:02:49,631
Yeah, I guess
I'll be saying that a lot tonight.
28
00:02:51,531 --> 00:02:53,487
You got an evening
of romance planned, Sam?
29
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,379
Yeah, I sure do.
30
00:02:56,119 --> 00:02:58,075
Who's the bimbo du jour?
31
00:03:03,668 --> 00:03:05,260
That's the girl, all right.
32
00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:07,904
Claudia's been a tough nut to crack.
33
00:03:08,173 --> 00:03:10,926
But tonight's the night
she's gonna be enjoying
34
00:03:11,218 --> 00:03:14,847
all the rides in
Sammy's magic kingdom.
35
00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:18,991
She's in for a Mickey Mouse
evening with Goofy as her guide.
36
00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:23,954
Boy, Sam, I wish I could
read women like you.
37
00:03:24,231 --> 00:03:26,950
I mean, I can never really
tell when a woman likes me.
38
00:03:27,276 --> 00:03:31,394
Well, Woody, women give off
different subtle signs of interest.
39
00:03:31,739 --> 00:03:35,971
Me, I stand there naked
with a rose in my teeth.
40
00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:38,890
I'll watch for that one.
41
00:03:39,163 --> 00:03:41,631
So, Sam, what signal
is your date giving you?
42
00:03:41,916 --> 00:03:44,669
Not only is Claudia
mentally undressing me,
43
00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:47,600
she's mentally fixing me
breakfast the next morning.
44
00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:55,525
I'm sorry this is taking so long here.
I hope you're not getting bored.
45
00:03:55,847 --> 00:03:57,565
Oh, no. I enjoy watching you work.
46
00:03:57,807 --> 00:04:01,846
I'm glad to hear that. I've got some
mirrors at home. We can both watch.
47
00:04:06,108 --> 00:04:09,145
One second. Yeah.
Yeah, as a matter of fact he is.
48
00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:12,561
Hold on one second, will you.
Cliffie, telephone.
49
00:04:12,865 --> 00:04:15,857
Somebody wants to talk to Cliff?
50
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,550
Cliffie. This is a first, bud. I don't think
anyone's ever called you here before.
51
00:04:19,872 --> 00:04:22,511
Yeah, I know who this is.
It's a tootsie on my route
52
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:26,228
who's been eyeing the cut of my jib
through her Levolors.
53
00:04:28,714 --> 00:04:32,627
Her old man's probably out of town,
she's looking for a little C.O.D.:
54
00:04:33,302 --> 00:04:35,338
Cliffie on demand.
55
00:04:37,056 --> 00:04:39,047
I know how to handle this babe.
56
00:04:39,309 --> 00:04:40,981
Hello.
57
00:04:41,853 --> 00:04:46,165
Listen, I never wanna speak to you
again as long as I live. Goodbye.
58
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:49,573
- Who was that?
- That was a man
59
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:52,288
who has the nerve
to call himself my father.
60
00:04:52,864 --> 00:04:55,617
He'd have to have nerve
to admit that.
61
00:04:56,118 --> 00:04:58,074
Are you still carrying a grudge?
62
00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:00,205
Damn straight.
63
00:05:00,497 --> 00:05:03,933
How would you feel if your father
deserted you at the formative age of 9?
64
00:05:04,418 --> 00:05:06,648
Cliff, don't you at least wanna
hear what he has to say?
65
00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:10,038
- Perhaps he's trying to make amends.
- No way.
66
00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:12,824
I don't wanna have anything
to do with that bum.
67
00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:15,767
Well, I know how these
father/son relationships can be.
68
00:05:16,138 --> 00:05:18,652
My dad didn't want me
to get serious with Vera.
69
00:05:18,975 --> 00:05:21,284
- He heard she had loose morals.
- You're kidding me.
70
00:05:21,602 --> 00:05:24,878
Actually, he got the story wrong.
Turns out she had loose molars.
71
00:05:28,193 --> 00:05:30,991
At least you had
a father figure, Norm.
72
00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:34,692
- Yeah.
- Yeah, well.
73
00:05:35,951 --> 00:05:39,830
- Sam.
- Five minutes, we'll be out of here.
74
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:45,859
What's this? A date of yours
reading Artforum magazine.
75
00:05:47,754 --> 00:05:50,109
And it's right side up too.
76
00:05:51,508 --> 00:05:55,296
Hope this doesn't mean that we're
gonna have to talk afterwards.
77
00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:58,819
Why do I keep trying
to communicate with you?
78
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,814
It must be
the Margaret Mead in me.
79
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,319
That's a wonderful issue.
80
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,796
Yes, it is.
81
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:13,236
Did you happen to read their article
on Chinese tapestries?
82
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,212
- Yes, it was fascinating.
- Wasn't it?
83
00:06:16,493 --> 00:06:21,044
Yeah, the only problem was that 20
minutes later, I wanted to read it again.
84
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,658
Reads and has a sense of humour.
85
00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,475
Did you lose a bet?
86
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,268
Excuse me?
87
00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:34,477
- I'm Diane Chambers.
- Claudia Mitchell.
88
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:38,254
So you and Sam are going out?
89
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:42,035
Yes, we're gonna try that
new lndian restaurant, Rajah's.
90
00:06:42,394 --> 00:06:46,023
Oh, I understand their chef
is a master of tandoori cooking.
91
00:06:46,565 --> 00:06:49,238
Well, I don't really know
that much about lndian food.
92
00:06:49,527 --> 00:06:52,041
It's the one area where I'm not
really able to be pretentious.
93
00:06:52,363 --> 00:06:54,752
Well, I am, so we have
the bases covered.
94
00:06:55,491 --> 00:06:58,085
- Mind if I sit down?
- Please.
95
00:06:58,453 --> 00:07:00,523
Oh, yeah, and after all,
the game of billiards
96
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,746
was invented by the ancient
Phoenicians, Norm.
97
00:07:04,042 --> 00:07:06,476
Well, however, it did gain
newfound popularity
98
00:07:06,753 --> 00:07:10,666
after a group of
Benedictine monks invented felt.
99
00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:14,196
Thank you, Sam.
100
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,143
Good Lord.
101
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,620
I think that's my father.
102
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,346
There's still time to slip out
the bathroom window.
103
00:07:23,645 --> 00:07:27,797
No, no, no. I wanna hear what the rat
has to say. Don't let out who I am.
104
00:07:30,027 --> 00:07:33,099
- Can I help you?
- Do you happen to know Cliff Clavin?
105
00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:35,745
I...
106
00:07:36,158 --> 00:07:37,796
I...
107
00:07:38,661 --> 00:07:41,129
Sam, I'm no good under pressure.
108
00:07:42,623 --> 00:07:46,582
- Hi, I'm Sam Malone. I'm the owner.
- Oh, hi. I'm Cliff Sr, his father.
109
00:07:46,919 --> 00:07:49,558
I called his ma, she said he hangs
out here sometimes. Is he around?
110
00:07:49,881 --> 00:07:53,476
Well, no. Actually he's not.
I think he's away on business.
111
00:07:53,802 --> 00:07:56,111
- Yeah.
- Too bad. I wanted to talk to him.
112
00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:59,402
It's funny. My own son. I don't even
know what he does for a living.
113
00:07:59,683 --> 00:08:01,162
I don't even know
what he looks like.
114
00:08:02,352 --> 00:08:04,070
Cliff might be away for a while here.
115
00:08:04,312 --> 00:08:07,224
Is there any message
you'd like me to give to him?
116
00:08:07,566 --> 00:08:11,525
I'll hang around a while. It's kind of
personal. I'd like to deliver it myself.
117
00:08:11,904 --> 00:08:13,860
- Oh, yeah, here you go.
- Oh, thanks.
118
00:08:18,744 --> 00:08:20,462
Excuse me.
119
00:08:21,872 --> 00:08:23,544
I got something to say.
120
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:27,529
Could I have the sports page?
121
00:08:27,795 --> 00:08:30,548
Oh, yeah, sure. Here you are.
122
00:08:46,982 --> 00:08:49,542
Boy, you two seem to be
getting along.
123
00:08:51,194 --> 00:08:54,470
- Are you ready?
- Oh, not to mention willing and able.
124
00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:55,770
I'll be at the...
125
00:08:58,327 --> 00:09:00,318
Hey, I have this great idea.
126
00:09:00,579 --> 00:09:02,968
Why don't we invite Diane
to come with us for dinner.
127
00:09:03,749 --> 00:09:07,139
- What?
- No, I don't think that'd be a good idea.
128
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,733
No, don't be silly. It would be perfect.
129
00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,882
Diane knows all about lndian food.
130
00:09:12,174 --> 00:09:16,247
Oh, hey, so do l. I'll order buffalo,
you can have the Geronimo burger.
131
00:09:18,097 --> 00:09:21,772
Claudia, I really don't
want to be a third wheel.
132
00:09:22,185 --> 00:09:25,302
- Yeah, but I want you to come.
- Yeah, but I want us to be alone.
133
00:09:25,605 --> 00:09:27,721
Well, there's plenty
of time for that later.
134
00:09:27,982 --> 00:09:30,416
Besides, what could you do
in a restaurant full of people?
135
00:09:31,027 --> 00:09:33,222
You'd be surprised.
136
00:09:33,613 --> 00:09:37,003
- Yes, you would.
- Why don't you just butt out of this--
137
00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:41,318
Look, Sam, I think you're being
kind of a drip about this.
138
00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:44,029
Quite frankly, I am surprised at you.
139
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:47,328
Oh. Well, all right.
140
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,303
Diane, if you have nothing better to do
than tag along, why don't you join us.
141
00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:55,507
- I really don't think--
- No, please, Diane. I insist.
142
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:57,721
- lt'll be fun.
- Yeah, loads.
143
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,880
- Great, then we're set.
- Okay.
144
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,737
- I'm gonna go freshen up.
- Okeydoke.
145
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,939
- Please get me out of this.
- No, no.
146
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:09,791
If you don't go, she'll think
that I told you not to go.
147
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,184
And then she's gonna think I'm
even a bigger heel. You're going.
148
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,680
Okay. Fine. Fine.
149
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,545
You bet, "Fine. Fine."
Give me the phone, will you.
150
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,843
- Sam, you're out of your mind.
- Hey, please.
151
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,282
I may look stupid,
but I'm way ahead of her.
152
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,656
Give me some credit
for having brains. Hello.
153
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,936
Hello.
154
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,972
Yeah, this is Sam Malone.
155
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,449
I made a reservation
for two at 7::00.
156
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:42,196
I wanna make sure it's an intimate
table that seats only two.
157
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:45,112
Yeah, and there'll be
a third person coming along,
158
00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:49,833
but I wanna make sure
that she's seated far away.
159
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,695
Yeah, no, no.
The farther the better.
160
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,776
In fact, do you have
something in Bombay?
161
00:10:55,573 --> 00:10:58,451
- Goodbye.
- You're a genius.
162
00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:00,741
I kind of think
I'm wasting my time here.
163
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:02,872
If Cliffie comes in,
tell him I was here.
164
00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:04,999
Thanks for the beer.
165
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,559
- Aren't you gonna say something?
- I've got nothing to say.
166
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,675
Mr Clavin, maybe Cliff
will call you later.
167
00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:12,799
Well,
168
00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:15,722
he'd better make it fast.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
169
00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:17,364
Gee, it's too bad.
170
00:11:17,596 --> 00:11:20,508
I'd really like to make my peace
with the kid. Well, thanks anyway.
171
00:11:22,726 --> 00:11:24,876
Hold it right there, Clavin.
172
00:11:32,695 --> 00:11:34,447
I'm Cliff Clavin Jr.
173
00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:37,840
You're Cliff.
174
00:11:39,326 --> 00:11:41,476
You wasted your time coming here.
175
00:11:41,746 --> 00:11:45,261
After what you've done, there can be
no peace between us. Hit the bricks.
176
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,672
Cliffie.
177
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,711
- What?
- What's that?
178
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,110
- Where?
- Gotcha!
179
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,634
Oh, Dad, you always knew
how to push the right buttons.
180
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,631
Hey.
181
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,450
I just can't stop
talking about that meal.
182
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,233
It was simple and delicate,
yet provocative.
183
00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:17,351
Well, I never had anything
quite like that lamb vindaloo.
184
00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:20,002
Great recommendation, Diane.
185
00:12:20,317 --> 00:12:21,750
How was your meal, Sam?
186
00:12:21,985 --> 00:12:25,773
The only thing that tasted good at the
table turned out later to be a candle.
187
00:12:26,825 --> 00:12:30,534
You're not still angry
about sitting alone?
188
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:36,783
I wasn't alone. You're forgetting
about that 300-pound Hindu
189
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:38,998
with the goitre that kept fanning me.
190
00:12:39,632 --> 00:12:43,511
Look, Sam, I know this date hasn't
turned out the way you planned it.
191
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:47,201
Well, maybe we could still salvage
something of the evening.
192
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,076
Maybe we could go
someplace for dessert.
193
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:55,427
If I might make a suggestion, why
don't you two go upstairs to Melville's.
194
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,607
They have great cheesecake.
195
00:12:57,904 --> 00:12:59,417
I have a better idea.
196
00:12:59,697 --> 00:13:02,848
Why don't we go over to my place
for a little Sammy's jubilee.
197
00:13:03,786 --> 00:13:07,825
The beer distributor, he says there's
some problem with next month's order.
198
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:11,450
Well, let him talk to Woody.
Woody handled it last month.
199
00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:13,433
I think that's the problem.
200
00:13:14,549 --> 00:13:17,109
Damn. All right, listen.
201
00:13:17,385 --> 00:13:19,182
We'll go up to Melville's
for your cheesecake,
202
00:13:19,429 --> 00:13:21,579
but then we're going to my place
for your beefcake.
203
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,659
You've got some work to do,
don't you?
204
00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:29,092
- Evening, everybody.
- Norm!
205
00:13:29,358 --> 00:13:31,474
- Norman.
- What's your pleasure, Mr Peterson?
206
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:35,691
Boxer shorts and loose shoes,
but I'll settle for a beer.
207
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,267
So how was the Hungry Heifer?
208
00:13:39,537 --> 00:13:42,370
- It wasn't too good.
- No? Well, what'd you have?
209
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:45,271
Well, I got the chef's special ribs.
210
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,956
- That sounds pretty good.
- That's what I thought,
211
00:13:48,214 --> 00:13:51,729
but the chef just came out
and made fun of my tie.
212
00:13:54,138 --> 00:13:58,211
- So Cliffie and his dad not back yet?
- Oh, no, they had very big plans.
213
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,074
Mr Clavin wanted to spend
the evening getting to know his son.
214
00:14:01,397 --> 00:14:04,275
Yeah, and the rest of his life
trying to forget.
215
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:07,335
Woody, next time you order
beer from the distributor,
216
00:14:07,612 --> 00:14:10,604
try to be a little more
specific than "lots."
217
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:13,225
- Sorry, Sam.
- That's all right.
218
00:14:13,495 --> 00:14:16,532
I called Melville's. They have
just two pieces of cheesecake left.
219
00:14:16,832 --> 00:14:19,710
No more. No less. No Diane.
220
00:14:20,712 --> 00:14:24,341
Boy, next to Sammy's life,
my life sure looks dull, doesn't it?
221
00:14:24,675 --> 00:14:27,428
Next to a barnacle
my life seems dull.
222
00:14:28,346 --> 00:14:31,463
Say, you know, that cheesecake
can be pretty fattening.
223
00:14:31,766 --> 00:14:33,802
You got any ideas
how we could work it off?
224
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:37,618
- May I say something to you, Sam?
- Please.
225
00:14:38,107 --> 00:14:40,462
You know, the first few times
that we went out,
226
00:14:40,736 --> 00:14:44,331
I thought you were
coming on a little strong.
227
00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:47,967
I now miss those gentler times.
228
00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:49,841
Claudia, trust me.
229
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,709
You're about to come upon the
gentlest time that you've ever known.
230
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:55,681
Good Lord, Sam.
231
00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:58,449
What? That was good.
232
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,337
I'm afraid we're just not
what each other's looking for.
233
00:15:02,804 --> 00:15:04,362
All right, maybe you're right.
234
00:15:04,598 --> 00:15:08,796
Oh, wait, listen, here.
I wanna wish you a happy life.
235
00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:11,056
As happy as you can be without me.
236
00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:14,894
There are no hard feelings here,
are there?
237
00:15:15,194 --> 00:15:18,391
No, no, on the contrary.
I'm glad that this happened.
238
00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:20,654
Because I feel that everything,
239
00:15:20,909 --> 00:15:24,379
no matter how degrading
and humiliating,
240
00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:27,583
should be experienced
at least once in life.
241
00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:32,597
Well, wait a second, here, Claudia.
Let's talk about this.
242
00:15:32,923 --> 00:15:34,561
Claudia.
243
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,838
Claudia left rather abruptly.
She didn't even say goodbye.
244
00:15:41,183 --> 00:15:42,980
Was she upset about something?
245
00:15:43,227 --> 00:15:45,024
Yeah, she was upset
about something.
246
00:15:45,272 --> 00:15:47,991
Your little plan worked perfectly.
247
00:15:48,525 --> 00:15:50,561
What are you talking about?
248
00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:52,890
I can't believe you're
actually making me say this.
249
00:15:53,657 --> 00:15:55,454
- What?
- Why don't you just admit
250
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:59,137
you're nuts about me and you can't
stand me going out with other women
251
00:15:59,455 --> 00:16:01,923
so you try to eliminate
the competition.
252
00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:09,816
Sam, your hormones have staged
a coup d'�tat on your brain.
253
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,894
No, no, no. Don't try to
distract me with hormone talk.
254
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,738
Well, as long as we're talking
about transparent plans,
255
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:21,258
why don't you just admit that you
brought that clone of me here
256
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,442
because you are still
hung up on me.
257
00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:28,483
Are you kidding me? There is only
one reason why you came back here.
258
00:16:28,866 --> 00:16:31,255
Because you asked me.
259
00:16:31,577 --> 00:16:34,614
I asked you, you begged to come back.
We're splitting hairs here.
260
00:16:34,915 --> 00:16:37,713
Sam, Melville's want to know
if you still want that cheesecake.
261
00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,193
Yes, I want that cheesecake.
Tell them I'll be right up.
262
00:16:40,463 --> 00:16:43,023
I'm gonna go up and have
that cheesecake all by myself.
263
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,097
It'll be the best company
I've had all evening.
264
00:16:45,344 --> 00:16:46,777
Indeed.
265
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:52,412
Unless you wanna come along and
make the evening a complete disaster.
266
00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:56,580
I wouldn't have cheesecake with you
if you were the last man on Earth
267
00:16:56,899 --> 00:17:00,448
and it was the last morsel of food.
268
00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:09,937
I'm getting kind of used
to eating by myself anyway.
269
00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:21,971
Well, it is delicious cheesecake.
270
00:17:25,225 --> 00:17:27,102
Does your offer include coffee?
271
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,794
Maybe.
272
00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:32,946
- And a refill?
- Don't push it.
273
00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:38,419
Sam...
274
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:42,654
...I am sorry that you
had to eat alone.
275
00:17:42,955 --> 00:17:44,673
That's okay.
276
00:17:45,082 --> 00:17:47,277
What did you guys
talk about anyway?
277
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,183
Well, we talked about
the postmodernists
278
00:17:50,464 --> 00:17:53,854
and the trend away from
minimalism in literature.
279
00:17:54,177 --> 00:17:57,647
All of a sudden, my table
doesn't seem so bad after all.
280
00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,603
And he says, "Yeah, my sister."
281
00:18:02,937 --> 00:18:04,336
His sister!
282
00:18:05,941 --> 00:18:07,772
Time for a little
in-flight refuelling here.
283
00:18:08,027 --> 00:18:09,938
Oh, good.
284
00:18:10,238 --> 00:18:12,706
Now you're good
for another 1,000 miles.
285
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,581
You two look like you've been having
a heck of a time. What did you do?
286
00:18:18,915 --> 00:18:20,871
- lt'd be better to ask what we didn't do.
- Yeah.
287
00:18:21,126 --> 00:18:23,082
How about if we just
withdrew the question.
288
00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:25,938
We caught the first quarter
of the Celtics game,
289
00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:29,567
went down to the petting zoo. It was
night, but we peeked over the fence.
290
00:18:29,886 --> 00:18:33,515
Then we went fishing and Dad took me
to the all-night barber's to get a haircut.
291
00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:36,727
Yeah, next time
he's gonna get them all cut.
292
00:18:39,523 --> 00:18:43,402
Then later, we had a father-and-son
talk about the birds and bees.
293
00:18:43,736 --> 00:18:45,931
Yeah, well, I already knew
about that stuff.
294
00:18:46,198 --> 00:18:48,507
There was one thing
that was a little bit shocking.
295
00:18:50,202 --> 00:18:52,477
Excuse me, Daddy.
I gotta make a pit stop.
296
00:18:52,747 --> 00:18:56,262
Yeah, yeah, go right ahead.
I'll refuel a little myself.
297
00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:01,374
Tell me about Cliffie. You guys
know him a lot better than I do.
298
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:04,314
- Is he really as nice as he seems?
- Oh, you bet.
299
00:19:04,636 --> 00:19:07,389
And smart too. One of the
smartest guys I've ever met.
300
00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:11,193
And dependable. You call Cliff
at 4::00 in the morning, he's there.
301
00:19:11,561 --> 00:19:13,438
Where the hell else would he be?
302
00:19:15,274 --> 00:19:18,311
Hey, Mr Clavin, do you have
the gift of gab like your son?
303
00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:22,043
No, it comes from his mother's side.
She's the real yapper in the family.
304
00:19:22,366 --> 00:19:25,756
My God, she gets rolling,
she's like a hyena on bennies.
305
00:19:26,871 --> 00:19:28,589
Hey, Dad, come on.
Time's a-wasting.
306
00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:31,392
What do you say we go out
and get a set of matching tattoos?
307
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,906
Cliffie, I gotta get cracking.
I got a plane to catch.
308
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:37,608
Come on, Dad. So much time,
you know, we haven't talked.
309
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,440
- We don't know about each other.
- Cliffie.
310
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,482
- I just had a terrific idea.
- Oh, yeah? What's that, Dad?
311
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,281
Why don't you
come to Australia with me.
312
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:50,840
Australia? I don't know if I can
leave all this. My friends, my job.
313
00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:53,183
You can make new friends,
and you don't need a job.
314
00:19:53,821 --> 00:19:56,654
- What?
- I got a lot of dough stashed away.
315
00:19:57,241 --> 00:20:00,756
- Well, I need time to think about it.
- There's no time. I got to go now.
316
00:20:01,121 --> 00:20:02,520
What's the rush?
317
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:05,099
I have got to get out of
this country as fast as I can.
318
00:20:06,044 --> 00:20:08,558
- What's going on?
- Okay, listen. I'll level with you.
319
00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:10,431
You're my son. I can trust you.
320
00:20:10,716 --> 00:20:13,788
My business has gotten me
in a little trouble with the law.
321
00:20:14,721 --> 00:20:18,157
- What kind of business is that?
- Real estate fraud.
322
00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:25,016
- Dad, that's illegal.
- Good, I'm not going too fast for you.
323
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,576
Listen, come on,
you gonna come with me?
324
00:20:28,362 --> 00:20:30,671
No, no, look, Dad,
I can't let you do this.
325
00:20:30,949 --> 00:20:33,747
How about you give the money back,
throw yourself at the court's mercy.
326
00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:35,708
They'll let you off with 1 0 years max.
327
00:20:35,955 --> 00:20:39,186
Ten years. Come on, grow up, will you.
We're talking about heavy cake here.
328
00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:41,856
Now, I want you to come.
Are you gonna come or no?
329
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,610
Well, how do you know
I'm not gonna turn you in?
330
00:20:45,883 --> 00:20:49,193
Cliffie, you're not gonna
turn in your own father.
331
00:20:49,513 --> 00:20:51,583
I know that and you know that.
332
00:20:52,850 --> 00:20:54,602
Yeah, you're right, Dad.
333
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:59,251
I had a couple beers. I'm gonna make
one more stop and then I'm gone.
334
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,380
Give me the phone.
335
00:21:08,619 --> 00:21:10,132
What's wrong?
336
00:21:11,247 --> 00:21:14,922
My old man's a crook. He's leaving
the country one step ahead of the law.
337
00:21:15,419 --> 00:21:17,171
You're not gonna
rat on your old man!
338
00:21:17,421 --> 00:21:18,695
Think about this, will you.
339
00:21:18,923 --> 00:21:20,675
Got nothing to think about now.
340
00:21:21,009 --> 00:21:22,761
Information?
341
00:21:23,262 --> 00:21:25,651
Yeah, give me the federal authorities.
342
00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:31,025
I don't know. Somebody
in charge of rotten daddies.
343
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:35,477
I can't do it.
344
00:21:35,943 --> 00:21:37,854
I've aided a fugitive from justice.
345
00:21:38,113 --> 00:21:39,910
I'm a disgrace to my uniform.
346
00:21:40,157 --> 00:21:42,591
Hey, come on. Come off it, Clavin.
347
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:45,507
You didn't disgrace anything.
348
00:21:45,789 --> 00:21:49,259
You can't turn the old guy in
because you love him.
349
00:21:49,585 --> 00:21:52,258
Now, anyone would understand that.
350
00:21:54,758 --> 00:21:56,635
Thank you, Carla.
351
00:21:57,302 --> 00:21:58,701
You're right.
352
00:21:58,929 --> 00:22:00,601
I do love him.
353
00:22:01,099 --> 00:22:03,567
Matter of fact, I think I'll go
give him a big hug right now.
354
00:22:04,478 --> 00:22:07,788
It might be a little uncool to hug him
in the men's room, you know?
355
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,316
I guess you're right, Norm.
356
00:22:12,738 --> 00:22:16,697
What the heck. I can't wait. It's
the longest we've been apart all day.
357
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,571
Carla, you know, for a minute there,
358
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,344
you treated Cliff
as if he was a human being.
359
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:28,631
What you are experiencing
is a half-melvin.
360
00:22:30,175 --> 00:22:34,453
You breathe one word of this and
I am going to give you a full-melvin.
361
00:22:34,806 --> 00:22:36,637
I think we understand each other.
362
00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:46,995
He's gone.
363
00:22:49,991 --> 00:22:52,027
This is all that's left.
364
00:22:52,744 --> 00:22:54,894
What do you suppose
happened to him?
365
00:22:55,664 --> 00:22:57,700
It's obvious, isn't it?
366
00:22:58,209 --> 00:23:00,006
My father didn't trust me,
367
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:02,847
so he gave me the slip
out of the bathroom window.
368
00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:12,138
Guess I'll just go home.
369
00:23:17,816 --> 00:23:20,888
You're ruling out
the other possibility.
370
00:23:22,488 --> 00:23:23,967
What other possibility?
371
00:23:25,242 --> 00:23:27,437
Well, it's a little-known fact,
372
00:23:27,703 --> 00:23:33,016
but more and more people have been
going into men's rooms and vaporizing.
373
00:23:34,378 --> 00:23:36,653
I mean, just disappearing
into thin air.
374
00:23:36,922 --> 00:23:38,355
It's an unexplained phenomenon.
375
00:23:38,591 --> 00:23:40,946
- It's kind of like the Bermuda Triangle.
- That's right.
376
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:44,688
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get serious, will you.
377
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:47,818
Have it your way.
378
00:23:51,815 --> 00:23:54,329
Well, you know, however,
379
00:23:54,610 --> 00:23:56,362
this much is true, you know.
380
00:23:56,613 --> 00:23:58,649
There's been recent sightings
of human beings
381
00:23:58,907 --> 00:24:01,819
being shot up into the underbelly
of alien spacecraft.
382
00:24:04,205 --> 00:24:06,321
You know, and speaking
of the Bermuda Triangle,
383
00:24:06,583 --> 00:24:08,733
- it's not technically a triangle.
- It's not?
384
00:24:09,003 --> 00:24:10,755
Heck, no!
385
00:24:11,005 --> 00:24:13,473
It's a trapezedo-rhomboid.
386
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,758
They're perfect for attracting
Martian spacecraft.
32006
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.