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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AZIZ
ANSARI!
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♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> THANK YOU!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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WOW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
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I'M HERE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE."
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> YEAH!
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THE DAY AFTER TRUMP'S
INAUGURATION.
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MM.
PRETTY COOL TO KNOW THOUGH HE'S
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00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,314
PROBABLY AT HOME RIGHT NOW
WATCHING A BROWN GUY MAKE FUN OF
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HIM THOUGH, RIGHT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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CRAZY COUPLE OF DAYS, MAN.
YESTERDAY, TRUMP WAS
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INAUGURATED.
TODAY AN ENTIRE GENDER PROTESTED
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00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:12,138
AGAINST HIM.
WOW.
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00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,574
EVERYONE SHOULD SUPPORT THAT.
IT SHOWS THAT PEOPLE CARE.
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VERY COOL.
I DO THINK WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL
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00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,080
THOUGH.
YOU CAN'T DEMONIZE EVERYONE THAT
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VOTED FOR TRUMP.
SOME PEOPLE SAY EVERYBODY WHO
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VOTED FOR TRUMP IS A DUMB
RACIST.
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WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 63 MILLION
PEOPLE.
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DON'T JUDGE THEM.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT
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POLITICAL PRIORITIES.
SOME PEOPLE VOTED FOR HIM WITH
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RESERVATIONS.
I'M SURE A LOT OF PEOPLE VOTED
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FOR TRUMP THE SAME WAY A LOT OF
PEOPLE LISTEN TO CHRIS BROWN.
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HEY, MAN.
I'M JUST HERE FOR THE TUNES.
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I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT OTHER
STUFF.
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I JUST LIKE THE DANCING AND THE
MUSIC.
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I DON'T CONDONE THE
EXTRACURRICULARS.
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IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, DONALD
TRUMP IS BASICALLY THE CHRIS
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BROWN OF POLITICS.
AND MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN IS
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HIS "THESE HOS AIN'T LOYAL."
SO, LOOK.
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WE ARE DIVIDED.
IT'S OKAY.
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WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DIVIDED BY
SOME OF THE BIG POLITICAL
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ISSUES.
IT'S FINE.
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AS LONG AS WE TREAT EACH OTHER
WITH WITH RESPECT AND REMEMBER
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WE ARE ALL AMERICANS IT WILL BE
FINE.
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BUT THE PROBLEM IS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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-- THE PROBLEM IS THERE IS A NEW
GROUP.
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I'M TALKING ABOUT A TINY SLICE
OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE GOTTEN WAY
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TOO FIRED UP ABOUT THE TRUMP
THING FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
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THESE PEOPLE THAT AS SOON AS
TRUMP WON THEY'RE LIKE, WE DON'T
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HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE WE'RE NOT
RACIST ANYMORE!
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WE DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
ANYMORE!
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WE CAN BE RACIST AGAIN, WHOO!
WHOA, WHOA.
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NO, NO.
IF YOU'RE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE,
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PLEASE GO BACK TO PRETENDING.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO
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PRETENDING.
I'M SORRY WE NEVER THANKED YOU
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FOR YOUR SERVICE.
WE NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH
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EFFORT YOU WERE PUTTING INTO THE
PRETENDING.
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00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:08,788
YOU'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO
PRETENDING.
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HEY.
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I KNOW IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE
OF YEARS.
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OBAMA, "EMPIRE," "HAMILTON."
IT'S BEEN HIT AFTER HIT AFTER
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HIT.
"STAR WARS" MOVIES WHERE THE
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ONLY WHITE CHARACTERS ARE STORM
TROOPERS.
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I GET IT.
IT'S BEEN ROUGH.
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YOU'VE GOT TO STOP.
YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.
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THIS NEW LOWER CASE KKK
MOVEMENT.
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THIS CASUAL WHITE SUPREMACY.
OH, LET ME PUT MY FOOT IN THE
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POOL AND SEE HOW COLD THIS WATER
REALLY IS.
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NO.
NO.
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I'M TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE RUNNING
AROUND SAYING STUFF LIKE TRUMP
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WON, GO BACK TO AFRICA.
TRUMP WON, GO BACK TO MEXICO.
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THEY SEE ME.
TRUMP WON, GO BACK TO -- WHERE
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YOU CAME FROM.
YEAH.
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THEY'RE NOT USUALLY GEOGRAPHY
BUFFS.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
IS THAT THE PLAN, BY THE WAY?
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WE'RE ALL GOING TO MOVE?
ALL THE MINORITIES?
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40-SOME PERCENT OF THE COUNTRY?
EVERY MINORITY'S GOING TO MOVE?
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00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:24,564
BEYONCE'S GOING TO MOVE?
BEYONCE AIN'T MOVING.
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I AIN'T MOVING.
OKAY?
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MY PARENTS --
[ APPLAUSE ]
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MY PARENTS MOVED FROM INDIA TO
SOUTH CAROLINA IN THE EARLY
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'80s.
THEY DIDN'T MOVE UNTIL NINE
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YEARS AGO.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY MOVED?
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NORTH CAROLINA.
THEY LOVE IT HERE.
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THEY'RE NOT LEAVING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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LOWER CASE KKK, MAN.
THEY'RE OUT THERE.
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HATE CRIMES AND STUFF ARE ON THE
RISE.
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AS FAR AS PEOPLE MY OWN SKIN
TONE, BROWN PEOPLE.
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I THINK PART OF THE PROBLEM IS A
LOT OF PEOPLE HAVEN'T INTERACTED
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00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,236
WITH ANY BROWN PEOPLE IN NORMAL
LIFE.
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00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:08,274
THE ONLY THING THEY SEE IS
MONSTERS ON THE NEWS WHO ARE A
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DROP IN THE OCEAN.
ON THE NEWS REPORTS THEY SHOULD
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DO A SECOND REPORT ABOUT OTHER
BROWN PEOPLE UP TO NORMAL STUFF
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TO CALM THOSE PEOPLE DOWN.
SO LIKE THE SUSPECT IS
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CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
NOT ARMED AND DANGEROUS THESE
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FOUR MUSLIM PEOPLE EATING NACHOS
IN CHICAGO.
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LET'S GO TO FOOTAGE OF THEM.
LOOKS LIKE NASIR SPENT CHEESE ON
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HIS KHAKIS.
GOT OVERAMBITIOUS WITH THE LAST
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DIP.
WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.
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A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ISLAMAPHOBIC
WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
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SAME GOD.
PEOPLE ARE SCARED.
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WHY?
ANY TIME THEY WATCH MOVIES, TV
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SHOWS AND A CHARACTER IS ARABIC,
PRAYING OR SOMETHING THAT SCARY
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MUSIC FROM "HOMELAND" IS
UNDERNEATH IT.
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IT'S TERRIFYING.
♪♪♪
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PEOPLE ARE LIKE, AAH!
WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?
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GOD IS GOOD, NORMAL RELIGIOUS
STUFF.
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IT'S OKAY.
YOU WANT TO END ISLAMAPHOBIA.
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CHANGE THE MUSIC.
IF THE MUSIC WAS LIKE --
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[ SINGING THEME TO
"BENNY HILL" ]
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PEOPLE ARE LIKE, MAN IT'S ALL
ONE WHIMSICAL RELIGION, ISN'T
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IT?
I THINK TRUMP SHOULD MAKE A REAL
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SPEECH DENOUNCING THE LOWER CASE
KKK.
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DON'T TWEET ABOUT ME BEING LAME
OR THE SHOW.
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A REAL SPEECH.
THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE AND
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IT ISPISSING PEOPLE OFF.
OTHER PRESIDENTS HAVE DONE THIS
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AND IT'S HELPED.
AFTER 9/11 GEORGE BUSH MADE A
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SPEECH AND HATE CRIMES WENT
DOWN.
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HE SAID ISLAM IS PEACE.
THE PERPETRATORS OF THESE
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ATTACKS DON'T REPRESENT ISLAM.
THEY REPRESENT WAR AND VIOLENCE.
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OUR ENEMIES ARE NOT OUR MUSLIM
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
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OUR ENEMIES ARE NETWORKS OF
RADICAL TERRORISTS.
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EVERYONE APPLAUDED.
REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS,
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DIDN'T MATTER.
IT WAS NOT ABOUT POLITICS.
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IT WAS ABOUT BASIC HUMAN
DECENCY AND REMEMBERING WHY THE
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COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED IN THE FIRST
PLACE.
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I'M SITTING HERE WATCHING THE
SPEECH AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT THE
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HELL HAS HAPPENED?
I'M SITTING HERE WISTFULLY
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WATCHING OLD GEORGE W. BUSH
SPEECHES?
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WHAT A LEADER HE WAS!
16 YEARS AGO I WAS CERTAIN THIS
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DUDE WAS A DILDO.
NOW I'M LIKE, HE GUIDED US WITH
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HIS ELOQUENCE!
[ APPLAUSE ]
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I WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS WITH A
SERIOUS THOUGHT.
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00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,818
I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE
THAT ARE WORRIED NOW.
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00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,522
THIS IS A WEIRD TIME.
IF YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT TRUMP,
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00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:10,456
GREAT.
HE'S PRESIDENT.
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00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:14,260
LET'S HOPE HE DOES A GREAT JOB.
IF YOU'RE SCARED ABOUT TRUMP AND
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00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,396
YOU'RE VERY WORRIED, YOU'RE
GOING TO BE OKAY, TOO.
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00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:22,368
IF YOU LOOK AT OUR HISTORY,
CHANGE DOESN'T COME FROM
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PRESIDENTS.
CHANGE COMES FROM LARGE GROUPS
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OF ANGRY PEOPLE.
AND IF DAY ONE IS ANY
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INDICATION, YOU ARE PART OF THE
LARGEST GROUP OF ANGRY PEOPLE I
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00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:36,748
HAVE EVER SEEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT!
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BIG SEAN IS HERE.
SO STICK AROUND.
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WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
10752
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