All language subtitles for Transplant.S04E06.720p.HDTV.X264-SYNCOPY.Sdh

- I'm taking a hormone therapy

to stimulate ovulation.
- You're trying for a baby?

- Thinking about it.
I guess that's on me.

Actually, about how I've managed

to screw up most of
my relationships.

- I hear that you
proposed a reshuffle

in which you report
to her instead of me.

- You're the one who told
me to build a relationship

with her, earn capital.
- I heard Novak's gone AWOL.

I think we should use this as a
reason to move him out of Trauma OR.

- He's, like, unpredictable.
- He is toxic chaos.

- Theo, it's okay that
you wanted this life.

- This is part where you
tell me you and Mom are...

you're praying for me?

- Every patient I see,

I think, "Is this the
person who stabbed me?"

- We're going to make an accountability
plan for the painkillers.

I just matched with a heart.

- It sounds like you got
walloped with some pretty

intense news yesterday.
- I want to be here for you now.

However you need me to be.

(tense music)

(door sliding)

- You ready, Mags?

It's time.

Your heart is in the building.

Prepped and ready.

- All systems go, Dr. Leblanc.

At the behest of
our anesthesiologist

whose eyes are on the monitor,

I'm gonna ask you to
count backwards from 10.

- Okay.

10, 9,

8, 7...

(opening theme)

- Hi, Amira.

No, it's 1963.

Yeah.

Okay, just put it
back when you're done.

Okay. Yalla. Bye.

It's the spare
key security code.

I mean, how difficult is
it to just know the things

that you need to take with
you and to take them with you.

I sound exactly like my father.

(chuckling)
- Was he strict?

- He was more of a
spiritual philosopher.

My mother was strict. My
father would have called

Mags' surgery a second chance.

- Do you miss that
kind of outlook?

- I wonder if Mags' heart
is in the hospital yet...

I know I should focus, but...

- Thank you.

Do you feel comfortable

about your strategy
for managing today?

- As best I can. Why, do you?

- Well, I was thinking about
what you said last month

about that ordeal
in the sinkhole.

The trapped man. You told
me that jumping in blindly

is what you know how to do,
even when you shouldn't.

- Mags' family is making
all the decisions today.

Talking to the doctors, I'm just
waiting for news above ground.

It's, uh...

It's my father's birthday today.

1963, the year he was born.
- Seriously?

- How weird is that, right?

Do you do, uh, do you
do anything to mark it?

- This is, uh...

Okay, he loved Snickers.

And it's one of the few candies

that you can get
both here and there.

And usually, Amira and I, but...

nobody's brought
it up this year.

- My brother died when I was 20.

Car accident, he was 17.

- Oh, Karim. I'm so sorry.

- The ways we grief and
adapt as we... move on.

- Thanks, brother.

I'll see you soon.

(indistinct chatter)

- Mark?

Dr. Novak, where have you been?

- I woke up, made coffee,
ran 10k, came here.

- You know full well I mean "Where
have you been for the last two days?"

You've been on the schedule
but decidedly not here!

(sighing)
- My mother died.

- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

If you'd let us know, we
would have been able to...

- She didn't actually
die. I just wanted to see

if you'd still give me a hard time
after hearing that news, and...

apparently, you would.

- You gonna let Pops go on
the rides at Centreville too?

I mean, he did come a
long way to take you.

- She's going to make him do
it. She always gets scared.

- Nothing wrong with
being afraid, Gracie.

Theo, I can do the
sunscreen on the ferry.

- Why is everything
you say a lesson?

(chuckling)
- Welcome to my childhood, kid.

- Dr. Hunter, your patient
in six is back from imaging.

I can relay results
if you need a minute.

- Ah, no, thank you,
Dr. Bergeron. I'm good.

Okay, girls, take it
easy on Pops, alright?

Thanks, Dad.

- Have a seat for
one second, okay?

Uh, Theo...

- Forget something?
- No, just, uh...

Was that... Was that
lady your friend?

You know, it just seemed like there
was, uh, you know, like, she knows you.

- No, Dad.

I don't know, why would you
even think something like that?

- Alright, I was just asking.

Okay.
- Okay.

- Alright, girls, we're ready.

(indistinct PA announcement)

- So sweet of your
dad to help out.

- Liz, what the hell?
- I wanted to meet your family.

Even undercover.
- My head is killing me.

You know, he pulled me aside

and basically asked if
you were my girlfriend.

- Wow, impressive dad insight.

Okay, so fine. I accidentally
forced the issue.

- No, you didn't
because I denied it.

- You lied?

Why, because me being
sort of still married

makes you a bad pastor's son?

- Another sick dog?

- This is Esther Danbury.
Seriously compromised airway.

- Whoa.
- Try to stay still, Esther.

- Where's Judah? Where's
Bertie? I can't see them.

- They're right here,
Esther. They're okay.

Are you breathing okay?
- We were in the ravine,

the coyote leaped
out of the bushes.

- Esther, I need you to
save your breath, alright?

Two units of O-neg.
- Yeah.

Heart Rate's 105, RESP
rate 24, BP's 88 over 58.

- Yeah, two grams TXA,
start ceftriaxone.

- Bertie, is our dog okay?
- Might hurt a little.

(Esther moaning)

Alright, I'm gonna need to secure her
airway before I can handle the bleeding.

- Bertie was on leash when
the coyote lunged at us.

Esther threw herself in front.

- Okay, our nurse is gonna take
you to your room, okay, Judas?

- Here, Esther needs him.
- Okay.

Oh...

- Theo, get that dog out of
here, this is an operating room.

- She needs her dog, June.

- Can you tell me
what you feel, Esther?

- How's church, Jim?

- Where have you been?

- It's... hard to breathe.

- Being able to talk is
impressive. But, uh...

These kinds of trauma
usually create what we call

a "difficult airway".
Options, June?

- First, intubation, but...

- You think we're dealing
with a tracheal injury?

- I'm having a hard time
getting a good look.

It seems like it's
mostly facial,

but then she has
intra-oral bleeding,

some loose teeth
tissue, swelling.

- Blind nasotracheal intubation?

- Nobody does that
anymore, okay?

If this is a last resort,

then it's gonna be
an emergency cric.

Theo, why is the dog still here?

- June, Bertie stays.
- Are you saying you

that you can't get me breathing because the
parts of my face aren't where they should be?

- Esther, Esther, listen to me!

Look, I know you're
scared, okay?

But I promise you everything
is gonna be alright.

- Can you just stay back
from her open wounds?

- 02 SAT's 86 now guys...
- Actually, I forgot.

I got us this.
- What is that?

- A video laryngoscope
with a stylet.

Means we can see what
we're doing, and...

muscle through the debris.
- What?

- Nah, keep the emergency
cric, just in case.

Call that a double-double.
- When did you get this?

- 50 mg of etomidate
and 70 of sux...

I don't know, couple
of months ago.

Am I supposed to...
ask permission?

- Well, at least tell
someone you did it.

- Hi, kiddo, we're going
to sedate you, okay?

And now we're going to
use that very good tool

to put a tube in, and
then when you wake up,

you'll be able to breathe
way more easily, okay?

- You know these things need
special approval, right?

Devi doesn't need any
more reasons to...

- To what?
- You know, you could've

at least answered my
texts the last few days.

- Okay then, let's get
this kid breathing.

Alright.

- Okay, on your side.

Thank you.

Alright.

Sorry, tender there?

- Uh-huh.
- Appendix, bet ya anything.

- I lost that one as a kid.

This pain's definitely
my pancreas.

- What makes you say that?

- Uh, a few years ago, my immune
system declared war on it.

I've had chronic
pancreatitis since.

- My uncle had that. Man
was in constant discomfort.

Of course, he was also a
weasel who drank a 40 a day.

- Except, I wasn't much of a drinker before
this came on and barely at all after either.

- Your loss! (laughing)

(coughing) Hey, hey, hey!

Time to wake up, nurse lady.

- 100 over 70, Kathy.

(indistinct chatter)

(coughing)

- Okay, this'll be cold.

(Paige inhales)

This is to rule out
gallstones or bleeding.

(moaning)

Are you on any medication?

- Pancrelipase and
Rabeprazole daily.

Tylenol at home. When it gets like
this, I always have to come in.

- And... what do we usually do?

- On a good day,
listen to what works,

but mostly tell me why it won't.

I'm hoping it's a good day.

- I like this one, she's fiery.

- What are you in for?

- Congestive heart failure.
- Sorry to hear that.

- No, no, no. I'll live
to fight another day.

(Kathy coughs)
- I'll start fluids.

- Thanks. Um... Tell me
what usually works, Paige.

- Three rounds of
intravenous Toradol,

aggressive fluids and
cipro to avoid abscess.

- High-dose anti-inflammatories
are controversial

when it comes to pancreatitis...
- I know, but...

- I think the best thing
that we can do is see

how you respond to the fluids
and manage pain orally.

- Won't work. I don't
metabolize well by mouth!

The thing is, you guys always make me sit
in agony until my body proves me right.

Can we please just skip
that step this once?

- Look, I get you've
been through this before,

but there's a treatment
protocol that we need to follow,

and IV and seds risk anti-platelet
effect or acute kidney injury.

- But if I'm willing to take that
risk to stop my pain, why can't you?

- Yeah, why can't ya? I
mean, it's her body, right?

- Kathy...

- Look, I want to help you,
Paige, of course, I do.

But... I need to look
before jumping in blindly,

so we're going to do some
blood work first, alright?

(elevator dings)

That was weird.

- Zero boundaries, that woman.

Let me try to load her up with
diuretics and hope that works.

- Uh, no, not Kathy. Paige.

I just saw her move easily
like she wasn't in pain.

Do you think she's drug seeking?

- Asking for NSAIDs?

They're not a
controlled substance.

- I know, but some
patients lay a track.

- Oh, you know the deal. Hiding is
second nature with chronic pain.

It's when you need somebody to
really know what's going on inside,

that's when you
gotta work at it.

- Huh...

- No Mags today?

- I, uh, took her shift.

- People are saying there's
something going on with her.

- She's having a heart
transplant right now.

She's been on the
table about four hours,

about four more to...

- I didn't know it was that bad.

- None of us did.

- Is she gonna...

Is she gonna be able
to come back to work?

- I think the drugs she's
asking for are a real risk.

Paige.

- Maybe.

But she's the one
alone with the pain.

- Dr. Devi, sorry.

Uh, I imagine you heard
about Trauma OR this morning.

I know you've been
auditing the logs,

so if you have any
questions about the fancy

piece of equipment
Dr. Novak ordered...

- Oh, I have a lot of
questions for Mark.

All of which I'd prefer
to ask without a buffer.

- Yeah, I, uh...
- Dr. Curtis?

This is Murray, Esther's father.

- I just saw my son, but
they said you could tell me

what's happening
with my daughter.

- Yes, we were able to
secure Esther's airway.

She's gonna need several
reconstructive surgeries

over the next couple of days...
- Well, can I see her?

(dog barks lightly)
(June sighs)

- You need to be prepared.
Her face and her airway

were damaged extensively.

- Well, she's gonna
recover, right?

She's starting
university soon and...

- Functionally, her
prognosis is good.

But she may have some
trouble swallowing,

she might need a
speech therapist.

And they'll be some
scaring, but...

- This dog, we got him
the week their mom left.

Anytime one of them was sick
or sad, he'd be by their side.

Like, their pain is his to bear.

- Well, you can come see her

in the ICU, I just,
uh... (pager beeping)

Sorry, you just, you
can't take the dog.

(dog whimpers) No, I
can't, you can't...

(dog groans)

I got your page, Bash.
- You ever held a living

creature before because you
look completely unnatural, June.

- Then maybe you should
take him since you made

such a big deal of
him staying in Trauma.

- Okay... Geez.

- What are you guys even
doing here? I told you

I'd fill you in if I had
any news on her surgery.

- We were just discussing that
while Mags is in recovery,

if we split her shift, they won't
need to hire a temp replacement.

- I already have my hands full
trying to keep my job from imploding.

- What, June, you won't help?

- Did she even ask
you to do this?

Wait here.

- June...

- I mean, Mags does work at, like, three
times the capacity of a normal person.

Are we even gonna make a dent?

- She coded on the table.
- What?

- June, did she...
- They were able to get her back

but it's not looking...
That's all I could get.

- Okay, then I'll
find out myself.

- Bash! What are you gonna do?

- I have to talk to
them, maybe I can help!

- Hey, hey! You can't just storm
into the OR with zero context

and distract the people
who can actually help her.

- Bash...

(wailing)

(Paige weeping)

- It's about time! The
poor girl's dying here.

- Your labs are back.

- You're not gonna give
me the meds I asked for.

- The risk of straining
your kidneys is too high.

We're managing your pancreatic
inflammation with fluids.

I know it's not the
news you wanted but...

- I own a restaurant.

And you know, it's my
job to taste our food.

Fatty foods being the exact
thing I'm supposed to avoid.

- Well, isn't that a sick joke.
- Right?

And usually I just have a taste.

Only last night we were slammed.

And after close, these 18-hour
short ribs were calling to me.

- Why won't you help her?

- I understand this
is frustrating.

I can give you other
suggestions for pain management.

It's just that we see
a lot of people come in

with pancreatitis and based
on my personal experience...

- That's really what it's
about, though, isn't it?

Your experience. The
day that you're having

when you walk in the room.

- Once, a doctor at
another hospital seemed

so personally offended that none
of his solutions were working,

he suggested I apply for
medically assisted death.

- Jesus. What is
wrong with you people?

- At least I know I have a fall-back
option in case no one can help me here.

- This is your life, Paige.

That's not some idle
threat to waive around.

Someone else will come in and offer you
other suggestions for pain management.

- Heard about your
friend Leblanc.

- You bought $11,000 worth
of unsanctioned equipment.

- Life-saving equipment.
- "Get you fired" equipment.

I'm serious. While
you were AWOL,

Devi was trying to convince me to
help her find ways of moving you out.

- Well, did ya?
- No!

- Short-sighted on your part. It
could've been a good career move for you.

- Why do you not
care about this?

- C'mon, what's wrong
with these doors?

- When we started Trauma
OR together, you loved it

because building and making
up the rules as you go

works for you, but actually
following them, not so much.

- Wow, that is so
insightful of you, June.

- You know what I don't get? If you don't
like your job, why are you still here,

when you could just leave? Why are you
trying to get Devi to push you out?

- Because you won't let me!

You keep dragging me into
conversations like this one

in which you remind me about important
how our working relationship is to you.

(sighs) I never
wanted a partner.

- Then why did you recruit me?

- That was one of
my many mistakes.

Okay, I'm pretty sure this
counts as harassment now.

- Well, we're gonna have this conversations
because I'm not just gonna walk away.

- Really? You should try it sometimes
because it really feels good.

- I can't.

I'm thinking about
having a kid, okay?

There. And if I do something
that's that crazy by myself,

I need to know that my
work environment is stable.

And I know you don't want me putting
my emotional stability on you.

- Guilt tripping me because you're
suddenly nesting is the opposite of that.

- It's not why I'm saying this.

I actually like
being your partner.

And I know you like it,
too. Like, you would miss it

if you got run out of here
for being a stubborn idiot!

- Oh, how magnanimous
of you, June.

- I care about what
happens to you, Mark!

- The only reason our
partnership exists

is because you stepped over
me to get yourself power.

- That happened,
like, months ago.

- You could've told me
something instead of burning me!

- That actually hurt you?

(Novak chuckles)

That proves my point.

You care.

- You're too damaged
to be a mother, June.

- Where's Paige?

What the...

Kathy?

Seriously?

- Figured what harm
could it do now, right?

- But this is a hospital,
you're in heart failure,

and you have a sick roommate!

- Not anymore, Paige left!

- Left, what do you mean "left"?

- Well, the details
are between me and her,

but I will tell you that this
place failed her big time!

- Do you know where she is?

Because she still
needs treatment.

She needs fluids
and pain control.

- Is that what these are? Nice!

- Hey, those are
basically morphine!

- Oh! Beautiful! Anyway, why?

Paige already told you that the
good stuff doesn't even work on her.

- Those were not meant for you!

- Well, screw me for wanting to
feel good, you uncaring bitch!

(Kathy coughing)

- Where have you been?

I mean, you weren't here
to stop Paige from leaving.

- To go where?

- Of course, Abby swore she
wanted to go on the drop ride,

but as soon as we got to the
top, she panicked, poor kid.

- Just give it a couple of days, she'll
remember it like she conquered it.

- Uh, hey, do you
mind if we sit?

- Sure.

- Uh, look, I don't want you

to feel like you need
to hide from me, son.

You know, whether you're, well,
dating that person or not...

- Dad...
- No, no, no.

I should not have
pried, that wasn't...

Not my business.

And to set an example,

you should know that I am
no longer with the church.

- You retired,
Dad, that's big...

- No, no, no, not
retired. Uh... resigned.

I wanted to tell you, but
you're always so busy and, uh...

- Okay, but... So you and
Mom, you still go, right?

- Uh, well, yeah, your
mother, from time to time.

But it would be
too weird for me.

And actually, I
work Sundays now.

Yeah, for a small
landscaping outfit.

You know, it's, uh...

- Dad, you gave up a
lead pastor to, what?

Trim hedges? You've been doing
that job for 30 years, Dad!

- The church has stayed
exactly the same.

And there are just things about
that that I can't reconcile anymore.

- You used to say that wrestling
with doubt was a good thing.

- Yeah.
- Right, that, uh...

faith grows with the
fight. You would say that.

- I still believe that.

You know what, I also, I
sometimes wonder, perhaps,

I pushed you too far towards
something that I believed.

You know, maybe
that's why you left.

- Oh, so now it's my fault
that you're throwing away

everything we grew up
believing? Dad, that's unhinged.

That's...
- It's not, it's not, Theo.

No, I think it's so
brave what you did.

It is. Recognizing that you weren't
happy, and then changing your life.

The path that you were on.

No. Look, if anything,
that inspired me.

- Oh...

Do not rethink your calling
because of me, please.

- Hey.

Still no news.

How you doing?

- Don't really know.

- Think I was a
little harsh earlier.

Just don't know how to
deal with these things.

- You're asking me how?

I was gonna go pray.

- Does that really work for you?

- Uh-huh.

Also, it just gets
me out of my head,

so I don't do something like...

- Barge into an operating room.

- Yeah...

Look, if Mags, uh...

If she doesn't
make it, I just...

I think that's it for me, June.

- What do you mean?

- No...

Not that.

I just...

I just know I won't
be able to start over.

No, not again.

(Laying)

(birds chirping)

(pills rattling)

(in French)

- How do you feel?

- I was dreaming
about the anesthetic.

That sleep is so heavy.

Every time I wake up now, I
feel a huge wave of relief

washing over me when I realize
how lucky I am to have made it.

- I'm making vegetable soup.

Think you'll be hungry later?

- Maybe.

Hey, Dad.

(in French)

(music playing)

- Who died?

- Hi, Paige.

It's Dr. Hamed from
York Memorial, again.

You haven't returned
any of my calls so...

just checking if
everything's okay.

- You're on my bed.

- Yeah, you asked me
to lie here earlier.

- I did?
- Hmm.

- These immunosuppressants
are messing me up.

I feel so spaced out.

And is that a
rash? I feel itchy.

- No, I don't see anything,
but let's keep an eye on it.

- Who were you talking to?

- Uh, a patient
with pancreatitis.

She left AMA and things ended
sort of weird between us.

- Mmm, maybe she
just needs space.

- What if she needs help?
- She can ask.

You know, it's
gotta come from her.

(sighing)

I wish I didn't need all the
drugs that they're putting me on.

- Hey, look, you and I both
know that the immune system...

attacks foreign substances.
In this case, that's organs.

- Will it be the heart
that rejects the patient

or the patient that
rejects the heart?

- Both of those options
end in rejection.

- Because it was never mine
to begin with, the heart.

And now, part of another human
being is braiding with me.

Should I be happy that
that's all behind me

or afraid about what's ahead?

- Bash called while
you were asleep.

- If you want me to tell him to
lay off a bit, I can do that.

Gently.

How do you feel? (sighing)

- I would love it if people
would stop asking me that.

- Mum's making soup.

- Well, if you must know,
I feel like a zombie.

Like the Walking
Dead. (chuckling)

- Oh, how long it's
been like that?

- I think it just came on.
- Is it time for your meds?

- What if they're not working?
- Magalie, don't.

Your doctor's checked in every
day, he says you're good.

- I can feel it, Cam. I can feel it
trying to fight its way out of me.

- The funny thing is
she fought so hard

to get into this art school,

and now, the thing she
likes the most is math.

(laughing)
- Well, you know,

not knowing what path they're
on is part of the fun.

- This feels like
a horrible memory.

Being 12 years old and you
guys were so worried about me.

(in French)

- Never too late to start again.

- What were you saying
about your sister?

- Oh, she got invited to the STEM
exchange program at this school in England

for kids who excel at math,

and I can't decide
whether to let her go.

- Mmm, they all go eventually.

Bon appétit. (Magalie gasps)

- Something went
wrong. We've lost her.

(monitors beeping)

- You'll never work
again after this.

- No! There's a bad
rash, Dr. Zhang.

And her fever won't
come down now!

- We need to get it out.

Please!

- Magalie, you're only dreaming.

- Please!

You need to get
it out of me now!

(Magalie gasps)

(heavy breathing)

(music playing)

♪ Memories ♪

♪ Feel like a disease... ♪♪

(knocking)

- Come in.

- Hey, Cam said you
need to be awake anyway.

- Yeah, come sit.

(sighing) Tell me...

What's the panic level
out there really?

- Um... (chuckling)

Well, your mother thinks
that her soup will solve

all of your problems and I
assured her you would be fine.

- I love that I don't
have to pretend with you.

- It does seem like you're
adjusting to your meds better now.

I know it's been a rocky
couple of weeks in this place.

- Yeah...

- Mags...
- What is it?

I had a thought
during your surgery

when I got scared that you
weren't going to come out of it.

- Every time I fall asleep now,

I'm afraid I'm
not gonna wake up.

It's been really unsettling.

- That's normal,
it'll take time.

- What thought?

- Look, I know when you
and I were together,

we had our issues
on figuring out

how we were going
to move forward

or if we were going to at all.

And I know a lot of that
was me and my fears, but...

I can't see a future
unless you're in it.

This is real, Mags. I
want this to be real.

- Did you... make this when
you thought Mags might die?

- Um...

It was like the
day of her surgery,

but it's not usually,
like, about one thing.

It's about everything.

- When we were together,

I had no idea this
was a part of you.

- I've never been good at
letting people know me.

- Not sure that's true anymore.

(sirens wailing)

- Hey, Karim.
- Hey, Bashir.

I got your call this
morning, I was just, uh...

- I put it all on
the line with Mags.

I told her that I
want us to be together

and she has to think about it.

- How's she doing these days?
- It's been, uh,

it's been a couple of
weeks since her surgery.

She's moving around
the apartment,

but there's also the
psychological component

of when do I get to
believe I've survived,

and I get that because it's...

- Can we go in here?

- Uh, yeah, sure.

Bashir, do you know
what transference is?

- Uh, it's when an emotion
gets redirected to...

where it doesn't belong.

You think that's what
I'm doing with Mags.

- Actually, I'm
talking about us.

You call or text with thoughts

and ask questions like a
friend or family member would.

- Yeah...
- Just wait.

I'm gonna get through this.
I think because you and I

are similar in so many ways,
culturally, in part, yes,

but also just personality-wise,

that it's been easier for
me to let my boundaries lax.

And you have this
need for a brother,

or father figure,
or role model...

And it pulls at me, man.

So as your therapist,
I've let my guard down.

I also should never have told
you about my brother who died.

- Bu...
- That was about me.

And it crossed a line I
have never crossed before.

Is any of this making sense?

- The work we're
doing, it's helping.

- I know, but I need
to keep a firm grasp

on professional
boundaries. I just...

can't be your brother.

- Are you firing
me as your patient?

- No, but I do hope
that we can reset.

So book an appointment
and we'll talk then.

- Hey, Esther.
- Hey!

- Your dad hanging in?

I don't know, he kind
of looked tired or...

- Crazy? Yo, he
murdered that coyote.

- What, why?
- Revenge, he said.

Like, we don't even know
if it was the same one.

- Killed it with what?
- A hunting rifle.

After the attack, he went out,
looking every night just...

(mimics gunshot)

I'm worried about him.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- And he raised us on his
own, that's a lot to carry.

And even Bertie's upset.

I mean, this is a
trauma on all of us.

- Look, I checked
back in with Plastics,

and they said your
second surgery went well.

- Yeah, I mean, I can swallow
better, if that's what you mean.

Do you think after the next
one though I can go home,

maybe help my dad, even make
it back for Fall semester?

- Look, Esther...

About a year ago, I was
in a helicopter crash.

Pilot died and I got
stranded in the woods.

- Okay? I mean, wow!

But...
- Why am I telling you this?

I know I promised you that
everything would be fine.

- Are you saying that it's not?
- No.

I'm just saying tha...
- Because you seem okay to me.

- And am I. I am.

And I barely even
think about it anymore.

But I'm just now
starting to understand

the effects that it had on me.

- I don't really know what
to do with any of that.

- I know. Which is
kind of my point.

Okay, how you react to all
of this, just trust me,

and just try to take it slow.

I'm gonna go check on your dad.

- I need help out here!

Need some help down here!

(Kathy coughing)
- Arnold, what is this?

- I just found her
collapsed here.

Her O2 SAT's brutal, Claire.
- This is Kathy,

she's been in and out with
congestive heart failure.

- I heard a tonne of fluid.

- Prep trauma.
- Yeah!

(Kathy moaning)

Kathy, hey! Hang in there.

Hang in there, we're gonna
help you breathe, okay?

- No. No!

No, not you!

(Kathy coughing)

- Mr. Danbury, Murray.

I know it's been a tough few
weeks, but I just wanted to...

- What?
- Uh...

Am I crying blood?

- Uh, June. Have you seen this?
- Yeah?

(PA emergency announcement)

- I'll get that, you get this.
- Yeah, okay.

Hi, sir. Just look at me.

(sighing)

(breathing heavily)

(monitor beeping)

- Claire...

Claire.

It's over.

- She wouldn't let me tube her.

By the time help came and got her on
the bed, she deteriorated so fast.

I did three rounds of CPR.

I don't even know how she
got here, who brought her in.

- I did.

My street knew where
that thing slept.

This city wasn't going to
do anything about it so...

- But did you physically
handle the animal?

- After I shot it...

I used to go hunting with my
uncle, I still have my old rifle.

Anyway, I did the right thing.

I made sure it was
dead, not in any pain.

Why?

- Uh, coyotes can carry bacteria

that is harmful to humans.

- What, like rabies?

- Hmm...

- Because I've been
feeling kind of fluish.

- It could be something
called tularemia.

When Esther came in, we gave her

some precautionary antibiotics,

but if you had it on your hands,

and then you touched your eye...

Okay, so Murray, I'm gonna
have to cut into the tissue

in order to drain the abscess
or else you might go blind,

but, I am gonna numb your first.

- I know it was stupid.
- Just one more.

- I just couldn't sleep knowing
that thing was still out there.

- Yeah...

- I know you think I'm crazy.

- Actually, I was wondering
if it made you feel better?

- I love those kids so much.

It's worth the pain.

- She texted me after
I left that day.

I invited her to the
restaurant, cooked her a steak.

We've both been feeling lousy.

Ended up making
friends over that.

Sick friends.

- I'm sorry, Paige.
- You called me a lot.

- Yeah, are you still in pain?

(scoffs) We'll get
you into a room,

I'll give you an IV of Toradol.
- Now you'll do what I want.

Two weeks ago it was such a
big risk, but now it's not?

- It's still a risk.
- Then why did my friend

have to die for you to take it?

- Look, I am the kind of
doctor that takes risks.

It's just that day, I was
trying not to overreact

to something that was
happening in my life.

Kathy was right about
me making it personal.

Let me help you now.

- What is this?

- Dr. Novak and I
have been discussing

our working situation,
and we've decided...

- You've decided.
- It's been decided

that he's gonna be
transitioning out of Trauma OR

and no longer connected to
the emergency department.

- "Banished". That's the
word she's looking for.

- We wanted you to hear it,
officially, from the both of us.

- Heard.

- June?

June!

Yeah, I guess you're right.
I'm a starter, not a stayer.

- So you're leaving
the hospital?

- No, no. I have some
friends still upstairs

that are willing to slot me in.

- Maybe I'd ask what
this means for me, but...

I wouldn't want to
sound too damaged.

- Yeah, June, uh...

When I said that, look,
it wasn't about...

- Hey, how was your
follow-up appointment?

- I'm on my way there now.
- Okay.

- But Bash...

I want it to be real, too.

- You do?

(dramatic music)

- Sasha and her mom have
already been waiting 10 minutes.

- Uh, I thought it was
in my bag, but it isn't.

My math.
- Where did you see it last?

- I don't know, but I
have to study on the way.

Mr. Redican said that if we don't pass
this test, we can't go on the trip.

- Found it!

- Oh, my God, Mags,
you saved my life.

(chuckling)

(speaking in Arabic)

- Okay, one second!

- I'm doing nine to two today.

- I'll crossover
with you at one.

- Yesterday, I stayed until
four without hitting a wall.

- That's great, just don't
push yourself too hard, okay?

The whole reason I'm
covering for you is...

- Bash, you're picking me up
from rehearsal later, right?

- I work until nine.
- I'll do it!

And then we can
grab a late dinner.

- Great.
- Okay, just not burgers.

I can't do burgers ever.
- Amira, lunch.

(sighing)

- That is never not exhausting.

Mmm, their student
exchange trip is in...

- Two weeks.

She used the word "nerve-cited"

to describe how she's
feeling about living

in a foreign
continent for a month.

You, too?
- Um...

I can still stop
it from happening,

it's just... if that
feeling's more about me,

then I should probably
just stay out of her way.

- Makes sense, it's hard.

- Mmm.

Tell me what you think.

- I think she should go.

- Are you staying over tonight?
- Yes.

But I'll see you at one!

(door opening)

(door closing)

(soft music)

♪ Memories ♪

♪ Forgive me please ♪

♪ I'm lonesome without you ♪

♪ But I'm a wreck
thinking about you ♪

♪ Just memories ♪

♪ As far as my mind can see ♪

♪ It's too sad looking back ♪♪

(music continues)

Subtitles: difuze