All language subtitles for NEXT.G_--SRT1__srt__en-GB

Welcome.

Come on, come in here and listen.

To this wonderful tale of world.

Not woe is an arm by my man,
but whoa isn't whoa.

That's amazing.

Our companies, they're pretty
much actually happened

with a couple of embellishments

along the way.

Our tail is a tale
of two islands.

One is a teeny weeny beautiful
little tropical island

in the Pacific Ocean

are called

American Samoan,

home to a wonderful people

who are deeply religious, hard working,

and

deeply religious.

But the other island, it was a man,
a bar, Lenny white man.

And just like any incredible story,

out tale begins with

humiliation.

Americans.

Something going on,
but apprehension as well.

That's the first one.

Go.

Great.

Let's go again.

Operation.

Boys against men.

Yeah.

It's getting embarrassing.

The wrong end of the biggest
World Cup hammering ever.

And ten years later,
they were just as bad.

In fact, I think they had
actually gotten worse.

Someone.

So much.

Why?

Stop them all.

That was a terrible first half,

and now I'm forced to give you a growling.

Are you ready for the growing?

OK you are.

Get ready.

You are bad.

You are bad.

That was bad.

Where's the heart?

Where?

Where's the spirit?

You have to play with heart
and spirit.

You're bad.

Bad.

OK, I'll take over from here.

I think that's based here.

OK, gentlemen, it's enough.

In case you don't know me,
I'm to be there tomorrow.

I'm the president of
the Football Federation

of American Samoa.

That I think you'll do know me.

I am here to beg something
from you for the second-half.

I know we've never ever scored
a goal, ever.

But we have to because I've made it big

with the heads of the football federations
from

the other islands that we could.

And if we don't,

they're gonna draw
a lady boobs on my face.

Some pretty powerful motivation.

OK, 45 minutes left.

Let's go.

100.

Hey guys, it's All of the goals went in,

so that's hard and spirit, right Davina?

You're a lovely guy,
but you're a terrible coach.

Percent.

OK, cool.

Yeah.

Take a look.

Count the booze.

Count them.

Individual boobs are for pairs.

I'll save you the trouble.

There's 11 beers, 11 beers.

They drew these
with permanent marker.

You know what?

Permanent means forever.

And you guys sick of losing.

We haven't scored one goal
in the history of our country

trying to have a soccer team.

Doesn't that strike you as odd?

Mark my words,
things are going to change.

I'm gonna get us
a new coach.

Where am I gonna find
a new coach?

You have to look off island.

No, that's treason.

Treason is thinking,
that poor thing.

To play games they have
no hope of winning.

You have to think outside the box.

Well sometimes the box is too small
to fit inside of.

Maybe I will do it every time it I've rang
the American Football Federation

to put an

add up for the job that we don't need
some baloney with this

white saviour complex

to

come teach us how to play soccer.

The rule.

But there's so many other great coaches
on the island.

Ace I said them.

It's no good with pressure.

He hates pressure.

You hate pressure don't you hate?

That's true.

There's only four weeks
to the World Cup qualifier

that we should just get a coach
on

the island.

Kitchen with the.

We are seeing a real coach.

That's it.

And don't think I ever noticed
those big boobs on your face.

Whose boobs are those?

No Detroit drawings of boobs
are a gateway to the real thing.

Look, I know this season
didn't go as planned.

It's known as the beautiful game,

but let's face it,
it's a complicated game guys.

Football, soccer as you like to call it.

It's like life, you know?

You're riding high in April
and shut down in May.

Next season, I think
we have a real shot.

As long as you trust me

and allow me to play the system
that I like to play.

I'm sorry, Thomas.

Did nobody tell you?

You're you're fired.

Did honestly nobody tell you?

Did you not have?

Of course I'm fired.

Are you joking?

Are you kidding me?

Obviously you're in shock,
which is understandable.

And it's only natural that you go
through the five stages of grief.

Which Reese?

I think you have a yes.

Thank you, Alex.

I'll just quickly run this magazine.

Yep, Tupac release it.

Yep, there we go.

Express.

Spin around.

You gotta.

Yeah, there we go
and spin around.

Stage 1, denial.

This is not happening.

There it is.

That's it.

That's classic denial.

Good news is you've got
two options, Reese.

Option one, that's where
you're currently at, or Chris.

Pacific Ocean?

Well, yes, but no.

Specifically American Samoa.

American Samoa?

Are you serious?

Is this a joke?

Kyle, do you know about this?

Yes, it was my idea.

I can't believe you do this to me.

I deserve some respect.

I'm the only one in this room
that knows anything about this game.

Stage 2.

That anger is real.

I see this angry
when you were married.

Please call her before.

Thomas, you need to stop
thinking about this

as some kind of punishment.

This could be a chance
to heal.

Maybe find a new direction.

That is so good.

Actually I played this game
at the top level.

This isn't fair.

Fair.

Want to know about fair?

Here we go.

We'll tell you a story, buddy.

When I was a kid,
I had this dog

and I love this dog.

But then he got older.

I guess he had some anger issues.

Wasn't the same dog.

My dad said that we needed
to put the dog down

until we take him outside.

And this dog he is whimpering
or taking him out.

Oh no, this isn't fair run good.

I was in the past.

My dad maybe take
that dog outside.

And drown him in the pond.

I'm the dog in this story.

No, of course not.

I'm just telling you a story
about my dog

when I was growing up

and the fact that my

dad was a bit of an asshole.

OK, look.

I can change.

I'm flexible guys.

Let's not make
any rash decisions here.

Really, really good stuff.

Thomas, you are smoking through these.

Ohh, that's great.

So I got.

Wow.

Chris.

And it's my favourite
one of all.

Let's see.

Yeah.

It's Rogan.

It's Rogan.

Hello, Mr Rogan.

Welcome to American Samoa.

What is this shit?

Few words, pretty please.

Is who's on the plane?

American.

Someone's top rated show?

Wait, a few people who travel
through the island on the plane?

Well guess what?

Everyone at home wants to know

is why have you come halfway
across the world

to coach

the worst soccer team in the world?

I have a very particular
set of skills.

Skills I've acquired
over very long career.

Skills that make me a nightmare
for people like you.

I've come here to impress

my knowledge and unique insight

into the beautiful game and

turn this team around.

I'm not God.

But I may as well be,
because I perform more miracles than him.

OK, well one thing's for sure,

but you coach is very friendly
and outgoing.

We'll see you next time
for another edition of Who's on the Plane.

Mr Thomas Mongan,

It's very nice to meet you.

I'm Tavito.

I'm the president of
the Football Federation

of American Sidewalk

and also the cameraman

for Who's on the plane?

I just thought Island.

We all have lots of jobs.

Now, as an honoured guest,

we have a very special surprise
waiting outside.

OK, so that's we'll look after you.

Guys, guys, that why
are we here?

So part of my exciting
master surprise plan,

Cinnamon, I'm proud
to officially announce

a new official national coach
of the American Samoan soccer team.

Playing with some
of the top players in the world.

He's originally from Europe.

So let's give him
a warm American side.

Warm welcome,

OK, cuz.

Go.

Too much?

I love you.

Take it easy.

Your chariot awaits.

OK.

Yeah, great stuff guys.

I think he feels really welcome.

See you at training.

Right.

How many?

I'll show people.

Apply for the job.

Response was incredible.

Yeah.

How many people respond?

Well, it was him.

Yeah, it was just him.

But the fact that he responded,
absolutely incredible.

I really think things are going
to turn around,

you know, Sam, it's like in the Matrix.

I think this man is the Neo.

Welcome to American Samoa.

With a population of 57,534 people,

Americans saw more
as a United States territory.

Like what do we go?

But much smaller
and further away.

The two main exports
are NFL players and tuna.

It should not be confused
with the independent nation of Sam Moore.

With their coffee stuck up,

people always bragging
about their 24 hour.

McDonald's even though we have both sides
want there are two side boards

who drive faster.

I would never break.

The speed limit is 20 mph
across the whole island.

Everything French.

Welcome to your new accommodation.

To your car so you can move
around the island at will.

And now the PSD results.

Your castle awaits.

your landlord is the only he lives
in the house next door

and he's available seven twenty

four to address your every need
seven twenty four seven days

that have been twenty four

Well, I'll let you get settled
in and I'll leave this.

Welcome to American side.

More video here for you
to peruse at your Alicia

the qualifiers nearly four weeks away.

Mr Rogan, 11 from our team
is just one goal.

One goal.

One go.

Hello.

Hello.

Can I?

Can I use the phone?

MLS Coach of the Year
award and coaching US

based national team,

but his career with

this fiercely off the rails 2 years ago

and I think the question
we're all wondering

is why have you come halfway
across the world

to coach the worst soccer
team in the world?

What's wrong?

You have a colourful reputation.

But the team is hopefully can save them

from another international humiliation.

He caught up with him
as he got off the plane.

And welcome to American Summer.

For your fancy being famous Guy,
welcome to the convenience store.

I see you found our conveniently
located libation station

and conveniently where the

local movie rental place
and the convenient dream catcher outlet.

Do you guys have a public phone?

Hello.

Look.

Ohh.

Now I've gotta do a Hollywood.

And that's where you read all that.

Ah and it's really sore
and you fall down.

Hollywood.

Yeah.

Ohh no.

Just playing.

Wait, wait wait.

Voice command.

Smoking.

OK.

Talk about.

Somebody.

Run.

Well, gentlemen.

Been watching you.

It's safe to say
you're useless.

You have zero talent, skill,
or understanding of the game.

That is why we're going to work
on two very simple things,

fitness and discipline.

Catch you and the pipe,
cheese and pepper.

Simple dish, but when made
well, exquisite.

So this is what we're going to do.

We're going to get into two lines

and we're going to do sprints
down to the goal and

back.

2 lines, two sides.

Yeah.

Cheese and pepper.

Come on, let's go.

Go.

Why are we doing this?

Because I want to see
what you're made of.

You're all a bunch of Daniel sends,

and I'm Mr Miyagi.

I want to see how many of you
can make the full 90 minutes.

Let's go catch your Pepe.

Dial.

Hey, Hey, guys.

We're talking about discipline,
all right, 200 sit-ups.

Start with the goal.

Goal.

Hey, coach, I'm so sorry
I'm late.

I just came from Hawaii,

Little of the talking
to squad right now, so.

You must be 18 masseuse.

Why don't you set up a no,
I'm not the team masseuse.

I'm one of the players.

Ohh no I I don't know where
the women's team trained

but it isn't here.

No no Try this please.

The team.

This team.

She's a woman.

Well,

not yet.

I think what's going on,
it's

Giant.

She's had a centre forward.

OK,

good one humour.

I get it.

Sure, John, go ahead, join
the squad over there.

And so much coach jokes on,
you know, she's playing.

Something not right about this guy.

He is white, no?

Something else?

Just keep on.

Really.

Let's see what they're made of.

Look alive, it says.

Really shaking things up.

Is only through the team.

Here we go.

OK And this :)
that the Angelo.

And that's the rule is known
as the bad boy of soccer.

He's always sliding
in and getting carded.

The Simpson Because it was there.

No Samsung is named after giant
Korean chip company.

His father's name is Sony Ohh
and this child,

Cindy Crawford of soccer.

This is real name.

Child registered name ohh strongly,

but you never want to call it that.

Does that mean it's part
of our culture?

It's just one of us,
but different.

You guys are all cool with this.

How can I put this aside and mention
that world without flowers?

Well, for far finer
our our flowers.

Be pretty down world without them.

Beautiful.

And who's that large body
in goal?

Ohh, it's pizza.

It's not really a goalkeeper, midfielder,
but he found a club.

Was there as Jonah.

He's the Knight Rider cow sucker.

Bring it in.

What's up?

Sit down.

Sit down.

That was terrible.

You're just pissing
around out there.

You need passion
to play this game.

It's embarrassing.

I have every right to put my foot up
all your asses.

That's funny to you?

Ohh yeah.

I mean it's a funny image.

Sorry, just trying to have fun.

Football's fun.

Football's fun.

I'll tell you what's not fun.

Watching you prancing and parading,

fixing your hair like My Little Pony.

That's not fun.

Thanks.

This young gentleman here
is what I'm talking about.

This is passion personified.

If I had 11 Armanis,
I could conquer the world.

But alas, I only have the one.

Take that.

You know what?

I've had it for today.

I'm going to leave
our money in charge.

He's going to be my eyes.

And my ears.

Anything on money says you do.

A man.

What shall we do today?

Everybody should exercise.

Up, down.

Up.

Down.

Couple time.

Welcome to your voice mailbox.

You have 18, say, messages.

First saved message.

Hey Dad, I just saw you called.

Where are you?

Seriously.

Like Where in the world
is Thomas Rockin?

OK, call me back.

Ohh team guys, Ohh team.

That's what happened.

People just throw them away.

They wash up on the shore.

They used to be valuable.

Not so much anymore.

Feeling alone because you are alone.

Like these old metal OK,
this isn't happening.

This is happening.

You're just a skinny white guy
sitting there looking

out to sea for answers.

Like maybe the answers you seek out
right in front of you.

Everybody that they had their second child
even didn't care.

Not that plastic photo,
not there.

Not touching that.

Family is what you make it.

Tin cans.

You idiot.

You speak to him,

Tim can't.

Mumbo jumbo shit, you made me say,

and all their families want, you make.

It sounded like that old lady
from the Matrix is a baloney.

Why?

People love all their spiritual stuff.

Can you imagine the world
without yoga?

There'd be all these
unstretched white people

around with no ethnic tattoos,

No white

dreadlocks?

Exactly.

They need us.

And I need that coach.

Hey, guys.

We have been doing really well.

Huh.

Someone is,

you know, just had
the most profound conversation.

It was all about tin cans.

Our team and like a bunch
of tin cans.

With them.

Discarded.

Crumpled.

Sitting in a bunker waiting
for an apocalypse

that may never come.

But guess what it is?

We're going to give
those cans of purpose.

Start a nuclear war.

Come on.

Time.

They are taking the free kicks
about distractions.

Here we go.

That's how it's done.

Destruction all my moves.

Game called the Human Hurdle.

Stop.

The object of the game
is to hit the moving target.

Useless.

The melody, please.

Everybody wait.

Stop playing.

Stop playing.

Go ahead.

Any reason why you're late?

Everybody else seems to turn up
on time for training today.

Why don't you run over there
and do some slamming?

Up you go.

Let's go.

Burning speed.

Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.

You know, forget about it.

Forget about it.

The object is to get
the ball in the net.

That's the trade.

Look where you're shooting it.

What the hell?

Don't look at me.

Look at the ball.

Controller Darrell.

One touch.

One touch.

Pass.

Pass.

Come on,

try.

Focus.

You're controlling the backline.

Let's go.

And how would I say
you're all useless?

I'm out of here.

Ohh wow, we were told.

Forget it.

First, trust.

Trust.

That's it.

Don't touch me.

Trust is broken.

All right, it's getting serious now.

We'll play full 90 minutes
with the ball.

Shirts versus bibs.

3 touches only, Go.

Push up, push up.

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

A little bit of urgency.

Look at him.

He's got all the space
in the world.

Focus, Jaya.

What are you waiting for?

Pressure, Pressure.

Pressure.

No, no, no, no.

Stand your feet, man.

John, what are you doing over there?

Stop playing with your hair.

Those that come here.

Why are you fixing your hair?

This isn't some voguing competition.

This is international soccer.

Stop that.

Get your shit together.

Johnny, come back here
when I'm talk.

My name is not.

Registered names Johnny.

You'll be playing under the name Johnny,

and that's what I'm going
to be calling you,

so get used to it, Johnny.

Comedy Johnny.

And see what happens.

Johnny.

No, he's a coach.

I'm not doing nothing.

I don't.

I don't.

I'm all right.

OK.

Things are getting pretty intense.

So it's time to take
a break, baby.

Is for lunch.

You heard the man have some lunch.

Cooling down.

Especially if your name range
from fire.

Six saved message.

OK, so you don't actually know
how phones work, is the five.

I'm kidding.

When it makes a noise,
you answer it.

I mean, I know you're probably working
with the team right now,

but maybe stop yelling

at them for a second
and call me back.

I'm around.

Celebrity guy So you want
who's on the plane?

Coach.

Soccer coach.

We've got the toughest
job on the island.

These guys are shocking, shocking.

Ohh, welcome to our humble restaurant.

To leaders restaurant, my restaurant.

How many jobs have you got?

Are we all have a few jobs?

We have to earn enough money
to keep the team going.

That's on son Darren Boy.

Please escort our esteemed guests
to our exclusive alfresco table.

Please no special treatment.

I'll sit outside.

Look up to They depend on you.

You've got to be demanding.

Hello.

Sir.

Something to drink.

Whiskey.

Beer.

Wine.

Yep, we got all those.

Which one?

Whiskey, beer, and one.

Mr Longden, please accept
this appetiser.

Rural fish marinated
in coconut cream.

It's a real classic of the islands,
and it's on the House.

How are things going?

And honestly say
it's the worst bunch of players

I've ever come across in my life.

I have very particular methods.

Unless I get the support I need,

I just don't think it's going to work.

We have our methods 2 traditions.

It's like with the appetiser.

I'm sure they're little fish.

Didn't think that one day
it would be chopped up,

covered in spring onions,

a little

bit of tomato, yellow pepper,

lemon zest and a dish of chilli.

But if you ask anyone around here,
it's a better fish because of it.

You may need to just marinate too.

See how you feel.

One goal.

One goal.

One goal.

One go.

It's pretty good.

It's really good.

Yeah, so I'm going
to need immediate backup.

I mean, cash in a car chase.

Wow.

He looks like a biology guy.

He's driving like a maniac.

He's maybe doing 3536 BHP.

That's also my my sirens
not working.

Ohh, jeez, OK.

Can you get some help from Uncle Percy
on the way home?

I'll copy that.

Yeah.

OK.

I love you, Mum.

I love you too, baby.

Love you.

She.

To the side, yes, we,

we.

You're gonna get out.

Under God Free Are you ready?

Free.

Thank you.

OK, you punk rocker.

From the TV.

That's me.

What seems to be the problem?

Ohh Jelly what?

You OK?

I got you.

Thank you.

I'm feeling better now.

Now listen, normally I lock you up
and throw away the key,

but right now I'm just more

angry at my man.

Go to scan.

Back on the right foot
you got there.

The load and leave there.

Rambo,

Rambo.

Gentlemen, allow me to present
our newest recruit,

Detective Rambo.

We already kicked them out.

He tried to arrest him.

So, you know, plan
on private property?

Yeah, they're properties.

My dad's property.

But I don't make up
the rules, OK?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bravo.

Just fall for the oldest trick in the book

and you see this is exactly
what they want

from us.

Who them?

Imperialists.

Divide and conquer.

But we're not going to let them.

We've worked too long
and hard for this.

Running, getting a few days.

Room was built
in a day, man.

I think we're doing pretty well.

How about this as a team?

Together we climb that mountain.

Who's with me?

I can't hear you.

Who's with me?

Ohh.

Come on, guys.

We're all in this together now.

Who's going to climb
that mountain with me as a team?

Are you with me?

Are you with me, My team?

OK then, yeah,
alright, OK.

Let's go now.

We'll make it the progress.

What's going on?

That's it.

Down.

We're not there yet.

We haven't even started.

Chase.

What's going on?

What the bell means?

Curfew.

Starting to pray.

Whole island stops.

Same time every day
for what am I supposed to do?

I'm not religious.

OK.

I'll pray for you.

When did that ever work?

Be done.

We've got three weeks left
of the qualifiers,

we've got a lot of work to do,

so tomorrow

I'm gonna start
with fitness drills

to see how many of them
can last a full 90 minutes.

We won't be training tomorrow.

Why not?

It's Sunday, so the team won't
drain on a Sunday.

There would be a sin.

Jesus Christ,
That's the wrong.

And you are very welcome
to join us on Sunday.

It could be a nice experience.

You can see how we worship God.

This is church, footballers, church.

You've got 0 commitment.

We're very committed to church.

This place, the carnival
of crap.

You know this this, this?

This guy's been fired
from his last three jobs

because he can't control himself.

I don't know.

He seems OK.

No, maybe he's different.

Really.

Shouldn't be doing that.

Sure.

I mean, look at this place.

You've got a keyboard
and mouse and no screen.

None of this shit makes any sense.

You don't even have a full squad
of players out there.

No wonder you're
the worst team in the world.

It's the wrong that.

You have made your point.

And now let me make mine.

Now we here at fast on it
that you were here.

We want to improve.

We want to learn from you.

But we will not deny
who we are just to win.

These are our customs.

These are our ways.

Your ways are shipped.

You're failing.

It's torture coaching this team.

There was.

We were under the impression
that you wanted to be here,

but if that is the wrong impression

that we are under,
then you are free to go.

Seek your happiness.

Unhappiness is a curse
that I would not wish on anyone.

OK, I quit.

I told you guys.

Hello.

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

So here's the news,
fresh off the press.

I quit.

You can't quit

today.

Officially.

Once you click, you gotta
commit to the quit.

You know this, it's like 15,000,000
but they don't even want to win.

For them it's like
some sort of game.

It's a sport.

I can't work with these guys,
I can't help them.

Thomas, we didn't send you there
to help them.

We sent you there to help you.

I don't need help.

I'm coming home.

Sorry Thomas, but.

Where is home now?

Look.

We'll be there in a couple of weeks
with the qualifiers, OK?

And we'll get a drink.

Yeah.

You know.

If you could please let the coach
come back wherever he is

to help us score that one

goal.

Just one.

Not too much to ask I think,

given we go to church every Sunday

and give 10% of our income.

But hey, all in your time
are many, many.

Ohh that didn't work Ace.

Looks like you're coaching today.

OK, just go for a run
to warm up your bodies.

OK, Dad.

I'm sorry, I yelled at.

But I was just pissed.

Because you should be here for this.

They asked me to lead
the team out on Saturday.

Where are you?

Hi, Coach.

I just wanted to come by and say

sorry about body slamming into the ground

and choking

you and also just wanted
to say thank you.

For keeping me on the team.

So far.

I'd like to apologise too
for not respecting your name.

Giant.

Here.

Peace offering.

Listen, it's from Team Lynch.

You keep missing out because
you get angry and run away.

You know you should eat 1st
and then get angry.

Makes sense?

You join me?

Sure.

College was cool and I do some performing
when I'm not studying.

So do you think you'll come back
to the island

once you finish your degree?

No, it's really not much
on the island for young people.

The job choices come down to the tuna
cannery or the army.

And I don't really
like fish or guns.

So you think this thing?

Maybe.

I mean, there's not
as many former thing in there,

so you do get a bit more prejudice.

So I hear you're married.

And you have a daughter.

Yeah, but tell me more
about this fulfilling thing.

What do you wanna know?

I mean, what are you down there?

Does it really matters here?

What matters to the officials
of the game?

OK, well, right now
I'm legal.

But I have been taking hormones
for a while right though.

Let's just say that
eventually I technically

won't qualify for the team.

Can we talk soccer?

Yes.

Well, they're watching here.

Why is everyone punched up
like old ladies gathered her cake?

Convention.

Well, Harris wasn't about formation
or taught us, including you.

Fairpoint.

Look at this guy.

Just standing there
in open space doing nothing.

Reminds me of you.

That is me.

Natural born defender,
not a forward.

Wait, who's that goal
that's make you select?

That's Nicky Salapu.

Yeah, the guy that led
in over 30 goals.

You have it.

He saved another 60.

It's pretty good.

He's one of the best players
you've ever had.

He's a legend.

Legend of the Fallen.

Shut up.

Shut up to my house.

It's my island.

I don't even know what we're watching this

because most of these players are retired,

but they only give up
because everyone else gave up on them.

But if you came back to coaches,

I could help you find them
because they're still good.

I'll be the judge of that.

Famous giant.

Giant.

Thomas Rongen.

Well, I'll be a simple bitch.

Chickens have come home
to roost.

The best goalkeeper American Small
ever had.

I live in over 30 goals
at international level.

The best goalkeeper American
someone ever had.

Isn't there something about that defeat
that still haunts you?

You can't let go, of course.

I replay that match on Xbox America,

Samoa versus Australia,

but I play alone and I get

my revenge every day
by beating in 32,000,000.

Don't you want revenge in Australia,

but instead of Australia
would be in a bunch of

other Polynesian islands?

Some of them are close to Australia.

How did you get
this coaching job?

You're terrible at this.

Can just come back to the team.

They need work, yeah,
and they need a lot of work, But.

I see a bunch of guys in that team,

including her,

who all worked multiple jobs

just

to play.

We've got more heart, you know,

dreaming bigger than nearly
any of the jaded fools

that

mess around the Proline for money
they don't deserve.

Don't tell him, I said.

Is he interested in playing?

No interest whatsoever.

Who's next?

That's called Hotspot on money
and we like it.

Excuse me, Squire,
write some muscle.

There's a switch in and
go through the pain

and I'd like to apologise,

but I want as

a rule.

I don't apologise.

I'm not apologising
for that either.

So sorry.

OK, I know you don't like me.

I don't like me.

But we need to work together.

This formation is known
as the sad snowman.

This player could are changeable
with this player.

This could cross here,

Switch your crown
works this way too.

So who we got next?

We got another one.

Nice one, Armani, What's up?

Let's talk about the three things.

The wolf is coming
all the way back here.

It's going to blow
your house down.

This is where we want to go.

All roads lead to Rome.

Sure.

Think of it like a fish
on its own.

Slimy, smelly, tasteless,
somewhat.

But add some coconut cream,

lemon zest, chilli

with that sucker marinade.

Now you've got something special.

Allow yourself to minimise
will be a better fish for us.

Thank you Coach.

Help those muscles.

Another 25 minutes.

More on the other side
of

this.

Not at the top yet.

Keep going.

I know it's hard

but if we can do this
as a team we have a chance.

We've got defence sorted
for our midfield.

All right, my man.

See you Monday for sure.

I won't let you down.

Oh my God.

So who's next?

Why?

Good energy.

Good energy.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Body.

Pull that back line.

That's leadership.

That's what I'm talking about.

Why?

People.

You know, it's hard
to keep going.

Oh my God, I look
so easy on the bottom.

Can't breathe.

This part here this place.

Tells them how you are brave brothers.

Fought to protect American Samoa.

In the rest of the world
against evil.

Well, tomorrow.

We set off for the greatest war
of them all, the war.

For World Cup qualification.

Oh my God never spin up here.

Two days time.

We faced our first enemy.

Tonga.

Screw those guys.

There have been so many wars
against those assholes.

1825.

Or they came to take.

They came to take our tuna.

We had the garages to them.

A giant tuna can.

Mr Wonder how you feeling?

Alright, What was that?

I still have to pack.

I always leave packing
for the last minute.

It's so weird.

And 2nd we did that.

That's you 17.

When a man says to listen,
Lord have mercy on my son,

for he is a lunatic
and is very

ill.

Well, he offered falls into the fire

and offered it to the water.

Very clumsy, my point,

and less than said, bring him here
to me, good old history.

And listen.

Rebuked him,
and the demon came out of them,

then thought boy was cured at once.

Thanks for the beauty
outside of the blessings.

And before we get further
into the proceedings

as little housekeeping,

someone was seen

rifling around in one of the dumpsters
outside Pioneer Malcolm's fish

and chip shop.

Fess up who was that trying to get
to the left side of scraps.

We don't do that.

OK now what are they are wonderful team
are going across the seas.

To do the impossible.

To go and win
a game of soccer.

Wow.

Wow.

We.

Some would say that the other teams
are too big.

Well.

You know what I say to them?

Read the Bible.

Have you ever heard
of a Little Chuckle, David?

Fighting against the Big eye
called Don't Don't Lie?

And of course, near retail.

Don't mess with the little guy.

What we have here is a whole bunch
of little guys, don't we?

Little cars probably can't do it.

Going off across the sea to fly
the whole on the Goliath.

Little things.

Let's take it to Mr
Goliath out there.

Let's get one for American Samoa.

OK.

So off they go,

the American Samoyed soccer team

hoping not to embarrass the nation

any

further.

Customer.

No, no, no, no.

Let's go.

Let's go, let's go.

Let's get this part of the.

Wow way there was some journey here.

I think I've got the jet legs
on it and that guys.

There's only a 35 minute flight.

We've officially crossed
the deadline.

It's now yesterday.

Terrible.

Look how fast these crazies
are going.

You know someone's
going to get killed.

Slow down Evans Phone.

Joe, so pretty sweet things.

OK, please put your settling in.

Now I just have one note here.

The play reception is
at 5:30 in the PM time

and is composed free fitwear.

So wear something on your feet please,

Like a slipper or a symbol.

OK, OK.

Nice of you guys to show up.

That's very kind.

Thank you.

It was an insult.

I should have known.

You kind of put A twist on it.

So this is the competition.

Nothing to worry about, No.

Things have changed.

We got a new coach.

Your coach is sit.

He's a failure.

He's just like you.

Obviously you're trying
to get under our skin,

but Americans are more skin
is impenetrable,

OK?

Unless you've got a sharp object
like sissies,

screwdriver, needle, anything,

that kind

of comes down
to a really sharp point.

See you at the party.

To bring your mask on.

Pushing the body.

Sure, at the party level.

The little flowers on the table.

Thomas, isn't this wonderful look.

It's a veritable who's
that of world soccer.

Let's get out of here
to hit the Beach 6 pack.

This is not us.

We just go to the other night
still young.

Ohh shit.

Period.

Fancy seeing you.

Yeah.

What's that thing

going on?

Settle down.

Savita, this is Angus Keith Saccharose.

Ohh the Socceroos nemesis.

I.

Ohh American Samoa.

Why did that guy,
he's showing me tattoo,

showing the tattoo show the shadow?

Wait, wait, he doesn't show anyone?

3131.

We've moved on.

Put it away.

Ohh, you haven't.

It's part of our heritage.

So hey, coach in American Samoa
took the job that nobody wanted.

This happened.

Seriously.

How they going?

You having a few wins?

Yeah.

You know.

I tried.

Hi.

You look good.

I missed you.

You look good.

Hey, there he is.

Alex.

Looking kind of tired.

Jet lag.

Twitter, I'd like to introduce you
to Gale, my wife.

And this is Alex, my boss
and Gail's man friend.

Mr Alex, on behalf of Fast,

we just want to thank you
for sending us the Super coach.

He's really turned things around.

Crazy.

He kind of talked
to real quick outside.

He must have a word
with you outside.

It would take a second.

Well.

Got to say.

Really proud of you.

Whatever, though,
you make it grants tax.

I mean, I don't want to say
I'm so proud of what we've done here.

Yeah, that's great.

Nothing really matters anymore.

What do you mean?

Don't worry about it.

It's just.

You have shown real improvement,
That's what matters.

I am going to find
a real job after this.

Alex, what do you say?

Thomas, I once had this dog.

I know about the dog.

No, this is different dog.

You don't know this dog.

This dog was this dog
was there really good.

He was slow and he could run

and he just never caught
a sticker or did anything.

So the kindest thing to do was.

To put it down.

Don't kill them, shot him.

The team is the dog.

Yeah, of course.

The team is the dog.

It's a metaphor.