All language subtitles for The.Santa.Clauses.S02E01.720p.WEB.H264-EDITH

Last season
on The Santa Clauses…

Ho ho ho!

My kids don't have
any magic powers.

You sure about that?

Your Santa ghost friends were
right. We do have powers.

Sandra can speak to animals,
and I can see holes in the sky.

The Secessus
Clause states that

you may step down once you've
chosen a proper successor.

So, the Secessus Clause
has a successor subsection.

We could keep it in the family.

I'm gonna do this with my team.

- You want us to go with you?
- All of us?

Cal, I want you to make sure
that bag's filled with gifts.

These things still work, right?

If you shake 'em, they show your
favorite Christmas memories?

- Yes.
- Sweet.

Then I'd like to take
some snow globes to go.

Which ones?

All of 'em.

Okay,
what's so funny?

Everybody's waking up now with something
they didn't ask for under their tree.

What have we done?

Cal, did you remember to make sure
Riley didn't remember? Did you remember?

- Yeah. I-I remembered.
- What could go wrong?

This measures
Christmas spirit.

But look at the middle now.

It hasn't been like that
since the 14th century.

Wars and the...

Mad Santa. Yes.

That's the last time
Christmas was threatened.

This is lunacy. Do
they not know who I am?

Well, Santa, you could run faster
if you lost the turkey leg and mead.

You can't run from a coup
on an empty stomach, Olga.

You call this running?

No Santa has ever
been forcibly removed.

This way to safety.

And how dare you
call me Mad Santa?

My name is Magnus Antas,
and I will smite anyo...

Whoa. Well, there, I just heard
it. The yelling, the threats.

The name Magnus Antas sort
of does sound like Mad Santa.

Okay. Clever!

May the name Mad Santa cause
fear in people for hundreds…

…of years.

Kris, it's time. Ho ho ho.

Oh, yeah.
Okay.

Let me grab my beard,
and we'll go, go, go.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Come take your pho-ho-to.

- I wrote that last night.
- Yeah, nice.

Look, it's snowing!

Oh, boy. That's cement mix.

Uh, don't get any of
that on your tongue.

We really gotta
call maintenance.

- There is no maintenance department.
- Bob quit?

Yeah, but before he fixed the PA
system, so you'll have to shout.

Oh, I don't mind shouting.
Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!

Come get your churros. Two-for-one
churro. Spoken code word, churro!

Careful, that's not
real candy cane!

All part of
the experience, folks!

Just pour some hot water on
his tongue. It'll detach.

All right. No shoving. Everyone will
get a chance to sit in Santa's sleigh.

It's just the three of them.

Well, okay.

Who's first?

On, Donner! On, Blitzen!
Yeehaw! I love what I do.

- Ten and two on the reins, babe.
- All right.

It's incredible up here.

You know, I didn't quite
get it before, Dad,

but you have the best
job in the world.

I knew you'd love it.

It's like I can feel all the joy
in the world all the way up here.

Mmm.

- Way, way up here.
- Don't get woozy on us.

Who let Grandpa drive the sleigh?
Let's see what this thing can do.

"Who let Grandpa drive?"

That sounded like a challenge.

- Hold that there.
- What?

Anybody in here wonder what it's
like to see a reindeer upside down?

Nope. Nobody wonders that.

Let's go for it. Well, you
know, unless Cal's too scared.

- No, I'm not scared.
- Really?

Here we go. Come on!

♪ I'm goin' off the
rails On a crazy train ♪

That was awesome.

- Ooh! Cal, did you enjoy that?
- Oh, yeah. He passed out.

Huh?

Ooh.

Oh!

Whoa, nice tree. Great presentation.

- Rum cake and bourbon balls?
- You know your Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas.

A toast, if I may.

Christmas spirit is
at an all-time high.

The result of giving
everyone magical snow globes

to see their favorite
Christmas memories.

That's the best part of Christmas,
is spending time with your loved ones.

Which is why I'm so geeked to turn Santa

into a family business.

Yeah.

But we can't forget that Christmas almost
ended, and that's not gonna happen again.

So, here's what I wanna do.

I wanna upgrade the E.L.F.S. into a
security force to be reckoned with.

Well, sir, then we'll have to reckon
with the fact that Gary is incompetent

and not well liked.

She ain't wrong.

Uh, Gary, this is
a private meeting.

- Let me take care of Gary.
- You gonna kill him?

No. I wanna take
over the E.L.F.S.

You wanna be a cop?

When the elves disappeared,
I wasn't here to help.

And I wanna be the protector.
That is a job for Mrs. Claus.

All right, are you ready
to hear my suggestions?

Can't wait.

But spending time in the Yule-Verse
with the other Santas reminded me

I'm just a link in
an infinite chain.

It's up to me to come
up with the next link.

Yes, mistakes were
made in that regard.

Don't blame yourself. The mistake was
passing over the obvious contender.

I'm flattered, but
I am ineligible.

No, no, no. I'm
talking about Cal.

May I remind you
that Cal has neither

the physical, mental, or
emotional acumen for the job?

When he ties his
shoelaces, he still says,

"Over, under, around and through.
Meet Mr. Bunny, pull him through."

- I know.
- I don't need to.

I just like it.

Maybe we should move
the birthday party upstairs.

Oh, yes. Merriment. That's
what the hats are for.

I can't believe you want
me to be the next Santa.

- Yeah.
- This is... This is so exciting.

I have so many ideas.

Yeah, that's great. But to be real,
we'll probably never get to any of those.

I really feel myself coming into
my… …Santa powers.

That is the north polarity
rushing through your DNA, Son.

I can't
wait to tell Riley.

Listen, Cal, I think it's
best if you forget about Riley.

You know, we need to tell
Sandra about her new role.

That's
right, that's right.

Sandra, this is a
family business,

and I want you to be in
charge of the reindeer.

Oh, yes!

That's not all.

I want you to take care of all of
the animals here at the North Pole.

All the animals?

We'll call her Animal Girl.

We don't need a nickname.
I can come up with that.

In my old toy
business background...

- Ani-Girl!
- Maybe you're not listening.

I can come up with nicknames.

What about Mighty Dame of
the Northern Stables Girl?

Where'd that come from?
You just thought that up?

I don't need all the names. I
can come up with stuff like this.

I already came up with
one. Thanks so much.

I already put it on a mug for
you. What do you think of that?

A mug? Wow.

"Keeper of the creatures."

Girl.

- I'm spitballing. It's an idea.
- It's... Oh, yeah.

- It's just an idea. Okay.
- Time for the birthday cake.

- Thank goodness.
- Look at this.

- Ooh. Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay. Wait a minute.

Where's my special
cake-eating fork?

I can't eat cake without my fork.

- My fork... This is a disaster.
- Aw. Aw.

- Okay.
- Whoa. Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, right. Uh… Thank you,
Mom and Dad, for making me.

No, no, no. You make a wish.

Oh.

Yeah!

- All right.
- Dad.

Yeah?

- It worked.
- Yeah.

I don't think he's
forgetting about Riley.

So, Cal wished his
girlfriend here.

What's the harm?

Well, I think it's reckless.

You don't see me just
bringing random people

that I like up here
to the North Pole.

That's exactly what
you did with me.

- No, my dear. That was magic.
- Aw.

And besides, Riley didn't seem
surprised that she was here.

Which means Cal
never dusted her.

It's fine. She
won't tell anyone.

Right. Because teenage girls are known
for their ability to keep secrets.

Cal has to learn to focus.

Focus on being Santa.

It takes focus, focus...
There's that fork.

Scott, I don't think that Cal is cut
out for this job, or even wants it.

He just turned 18.

- He loves the real world.
- Okay, what are his options?

Let's say he goes to
college to be with Riley,

he gets a CPA degree,
they get married,

he never makes partner, vacations
twice a year, retires at 65.

Is it easier to blame
Riley than to even contemplate

that maybe your son doesn't
wanna be exactly like you?

I think he's destined to
be Santa Claus, that's it.

Remember, if you love
something, let it go.

You might as well, because Betty
is never gonna go for this.

I'm the boss around here.

Betty just, you know,
makes all the decisions.

Yeah.

Who does Santa Scott think
makes the decisions around here?

Cal would be the worst Santa since
the last guy he tried to make Santa.

This is a tough one.

You're perfect. Santa's perfect.

You're perfect. Santa's perfect.

I don't really know
what to think here.

Tomorrow I'll make him think
it was my idea, so he hates it.

Dinner's ready.

I like my popcorn and
cranberries slightly warm.

No, no, no! Don't!

What's all this?

It's my time to go
on Kribble Krabble.

Honeybuns,
that's fantastic!

A year in the real world to
experience all life has to offer.

I wish I could go with you,
but you know the rules.

I'm so happy for
you, crumb cake.

I don't have time for frivolity.

They can't make me go.

We're here to make you
go on Kribble Krabble.

"The Kribble Krabble Clause."

"In accepting
position of Head Elf,

you agree to take a leave of
absence from the North Pole

for education and rejuvenation
purposes, whether you wish to or not."

You're way overdue.

I can't go now.

I'll defer.

"No exceptions."

I know, but in this case...

"That includes you, Betty."

These clauses are so specific.

You know the penalty
for those who don't go.

Fine.

I can't believe you brought security.
Did you really think I was going to run?

No.

I've got eyes on her.

We've been
here for hours.

And he's not being
unreasonable, Do...

- Prettyboy.
- Okay.

All he's saying is to cut
back on the peppermint

'cause he has to fly behind
you, where your butt is.

I feel ganged up
on, Animal Girl.

W... Where did you
hear that name?

- I don't know.
- Wow.

This place is so unreal.

I know. And one day,
it'll all be mine.

You can't tell anyone, but
I'm gonna be the next Santa.

OMG.

- Yeah.
- I am dating the next Santa Claus.

- My dad is gonna be so happy.
- Yeah.

He's so tired of me always
bringing bikers home.

- What?
- Santa's reindeer?

No way.

Yeah, my sister can talk to the
animals, but I have the magic touch.

No.

You okay, Swizzle Stick?

Sorry.

- It was a weird sort of spasm.
- It's oka... It's okay.

I know
you didn't mean to.

That's why my dad put Sandra
in charge of the reindeer.

- In charge of us?
- No one tells us what to do.

Nice going, big mouth.

Wait, wait, h-hold on.

You can actually understand them?
All I hear is super angry grunts.

Well, if you're in charge,
Blitzen's been eating my grain.

Well, only because Donner
has been eating my grain.

Both of you are
giving me a migraine.

Be thankful you
don't speak animal.

Ever since we got back to the
North Pole, it's gotten worse.

- And now I can hear all of them.
- Wait, like, all the reindeer?

And their fleas!

- I think they're unionizing.
- We have rights too!

Believe it or not, animals
complain more than humans,

which I did not
think was possible.

- Wow. Hurtful.
- Wow. So hurtful.

- Rude.
- Very hurtful.

Tell it to the fleas!

Hey, Dad. So, uh,
did you get a snow globe?

I was wondering what, uh, old
Christmas memory it showed you.

You know, maybe the
non-believers…

…they didn't get 'em.

I didn't think of that.

But it's gonna be real hard
to deny Santa after this.

So, who knows? Maybe
Santapolis can rebound.

The snow globes are so cool.

You know everyone is
still talking about them?

The magic only lasts for a
week before they shut down,

but hopefully, people will carry
it in their hearts for a long time.

That is so hot.

Well, Riley, I hope you enjoyed your tour.
Probably not gonna remember a lot of this.

Um, Dad, can we not
dust Riley, please?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, I'm sorry. What's dusting?

It's like a memory eraser,

but it's just one of
those dumb ancient rules.

There's so much I
can't wait to change.

They just updated the
manual 200 years ago.

- But you know what I was thinking?
- Uh-uh.

What if instead of flying,
Santa took a train?

- Where would you... But you can't... No.
- That is so cool.

And instead of a sack, Santa had
a cool messenger bag, you know.

- Ah.
- Oh, I really wanna update the hat.

- Uh…
- Uh, one of those is a really great idea.

You know
why I envy Sandra?

She only has to
talk to critters.

- Right?
- Ooh. Uh-uh. Mm-mmm.

- How are the reindeer doing?
- Blah, blah, blah!

Why can't everyone just stop
talking to me? Gosh, Dad!

We don't yell at the
North Pole, Sandra.

- Carol!
- Why are you yelling?

'Cause somebody, not important who,
said something Sandra didn't like.

Mom, Dad wants to
erase Riley's memory,

but erasing someone's memory
is like erasing someone's life.

- No, it's not.
- Our first kiss is in there.

- Aw.
- Aw.

Wait, if we stay kissing, then
the memory can never go away.

That's not necessarily...

- You don't have to...
- Yeah, okay.

Oh. Aw. Ew.

Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay!

No dusting, and for the
record, this was my idea.

Mm-hmm.
I'm proud of you.

Yeah, we'll get the
Gaslighting Department on this.

They can monitor her behavior and adjust
her memory if she starts blabbing.

- I did the same thing to Simon.
- Now I'm less proud.

Okay. You guys, Riley's gotta go home,
and she's gotta go home now. I mean it.

But she can come back, right?

Maybe somebody could dust me.

♪ On the roofs of Tokyo Or
down in London in the snow ♪

♪ With a cookie selection ♪

♪ And a snow globe's reflection
I'm dancing with my elf ♪

♪ When there's no more toys in sight
At the end of Christmas night ♪

♪ Well, I wait so long
For this merry sensation ♪

♪ And I'm dancing with my elf ♪

- ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
- ♪ Dancing with my elf ♪

♪ Dancing with my elf When
the lights have been… ♪

Look, someone left
this at the door.

It's for us.

♪ Ho ho ho-ho! ♪

Party's over, elves. We're
taking over the North Pole.

Oh, no. Whatever can we do?

We're just so little.

Where did that come from?

Huh?

"To bad guys."

It's for us.

Yippee ki-yay, Nutter Butters.

Caught you
red-and-green handed.

Take 'em away.

Hi, I'm Gareth the Great of the
Effective Liberating Flight Squad,

and we want you to join us.

How many of these recruitment
videos did they make?

We made dozens of those
E.L.F.S. recruitment videos.

That one was nominated for an Elfie.

Why are you here in
my office watching it?

You may wanna sit down.

Ew.

- Yeah, it's been a tough week.
- Mmm.

I thought it would be smooth sailing
turning this into a family business,

'cause, you know, that was the
point, to keep the family together.

But, you know, Sandra,
she's-she's upset about something.

Ooh.

And Carol is taking Mrs.
Claus in a weird direction.

And Cal, I want him to
follow in my footsteps.

Instead he's following his
girlfriend's footsteps around here

like a little baby polar bear.

- Uh…
- You get it, huh?

Oh, no.

I thought I took off too
much, but we're good.

Yeah, we're good.

The challenge will be to get
Betty to sign off on Cal.

That's not gonna be easy.

Sir, I have horrible news. You
may wanna stand up for this.

Okay. Maurice, are we done?

I've been done for ages. I
thought we were just bonding.

We were. That's great.

There you go.

Okay. What's up?

According to the elf clauses, I
have to leave for Kribble Krabble.

What? Oh, wow. Kribble Krabble.

But you're gone for a while.
That's horrible news. Tell me more.

I'm supposed to leave right
away, but I can get out of it

if you sign a waiver
saying it's a bad time.

You want Santa to write you
a note to get out of this?

There's rules, you know.

You hate rules.

Things have never been
better at the North Pole.

You're gonna have
to go eventually.

This might be the best time.

- Guess I am a victim of my own excellence.
- Yeah.

This place really does hum.

But I'm gonna need
time to find a replacement.

- One who is equally strict and steadfast.
- Noel.

Noel? Noel? I love him to death.

He's everything to me, but
he's not Head Elf material.

I mean, he's just gonna do
everything you want him to.

So, it's decided then.

I made a list of places and things for
you to see and do on Kribble Krabble.

Thank you.

And I got you this.

You can take it, and it's
like I'm there with you.

You can take pictures of
everywhere we've been.

Well, I got you something too.

The first thing I'm
gonna tell her is

I still think it's a terrible
idea to make me Head Elf.

When things go wrong, I scream.
Head Elves can't scream.

Which is why I made you this.

A scream pillow.

You know me so well.

I know you're going
to do a great job.

- I have complete faith in you.
- Thank you.

Now, let's get you
to Kribble Krabble.

Oh, the places you'll go.

New York City, Paris, Area 51.

- Noel, How many hot cocoas have you had?
- Just seven.

- ♪ Christmas ♪
- ♪ Lots of people around ♪

- What's happening? What's wrong?
- Nothing. We're here to see you off.

Betty, everybody's so excited that you're
going to Kribble Krabble, you know.

You wanna have a lot of fun.

Do everything, but make
sure you come back.

- Just not too soon.
- Scott.

That was the inner
voice. Inner voice.

Come on. Let's not
act like children.

That's better.

Betty, Betty, Betty.

Please don't leave us
with Noel at the helm.

You're really in charge. Don't
let him out of your sight.

♪ And all the
fun we had last year ♪

- ♪ Christmas ♪
- ♪ Pretty lights on the tree ♪

- ♪ Christmas ♪
- ♪ I'm watching 'em shine ♪

- One more thing.
- Oh, I know. You'll miss me most.

No. While I'm gone,
no big changes.

- Okay.
- I'm serious.

You're nothing but serious.

Okay, no big changes.

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Christmas ♪

- ♪ Hey, whoa ♪
- ♪ Baby, please come home ♪

Bye, Honeybuns.

♪ Baby,
please come home ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Baby, please... ♪

Okay, first big change, Cal's
gonna be the next Santa.

Betty!

That's against protocol.

Come back.

Betty's counting on me to make
sure everything runs smooth.

Smooth didn't even
last a second!

I choose to focus on the positive.

- Which is?
- I'm-I'm not you.

Fair.

Cal's great, right?

He's gonna do great.

Betty wouldn't like it,
but she's not always right.

What am I saying?
Betty's perfect.

Santa Scott making wild decisions
on his own is very Magnus Antas.

What's Magnus Antas?

Is that conveyor belt squeaking again?

Okay. Who's Magnus Antas?

- Uh, a... a pas... past Santa. Uh…
- Uh, a p-past... past Santa.

And?

A thousand years ago,
Christmas was based in Europe,

but when humans started stealing
the magic for themselves,

Magnus Antas moved the elves

and his operation to the
North Pole.

Wait a minute. I was in the
Yule-Verse, and I met all the Santas.

I never met one with a
great name like that.

Magnus Antas. That's almost
like a superhero Santa.

'Cause you could just
shorten it into Mega Santa.

Look at my power!
I'm Mega Santa.

I don't bring the gifts. I
throw them at the children.

- Spot on, Santa.
- Ho ho ho.

You know, I don't know
enough about Santa lore.

We gotta make North Pole
history part of Cal's training.

- All right? This is good stuff.
- Yeah.

- See you guys.
- We can do that.

This is bad.

If Santa hears the truth
about Magnus Antas,

he'll never trust
any elf ever again.

He might even get rid of us. The
one thing we can't do is panic.

Noel, it's against the rules
to destroy official records.

I know. I shouldn't
have this job.

We have to hide all evidence of the
last years of the Magnus Antas reign.

When he became…

The Mad Santa.

What did I ever do to you?

Was it the torture? The bedlam?

Me threatening to turn the
world's children into nutcrackers?

I admit it, yes. Sometimes
I can go a little...

I can go a little far.

But is it a crime to
be a little moody?

Remember you all said I was
the best Santa Claus ever.

You said it. It was a
while ago, but you said it.

Fine.

Fine. But make it
your best shot.

And for your sake, you
better hope it's everlasting.

The nutcracker's gone.

Nutcracker?

What nutcracker?

Uh, just some old
artifact. It's weird.

Betty had a report on
missing North Pole artifacts.

Oh, this might be
our first case.

It sounds unsolvable.

- Let's go.
- I don't know where she's going.

Hey, this was the
Mad Santa nutcracker.

You know what happens if it
gets into the wrong hands.

It only works if it comes in
contact with North Pole magic.

What are you so scared of?

Dad. Please
don't use that to...

Crack nuts?

It's a nutcracker.

Yeah, but it's,
like, 200 years old.

I bought it off a dealer in Norway.

Another foolhardy purchase.

I think it's time
we pull the plug.

C... Oh, come on. Come
on, Dad. Look, look, look.

I know it's your money,
but it's my park.

Look. The snow
globes. The snow globes.

They're gonna turn things around.
They... I know they mean something.

Wait. There was something there. There
was something. There was a memory.

It's just another piece of junk,
like everything else in this museum.

It's time to grow up, Son.

Dad. Dad, wait.

Wait. Wait.

Wait, Dad. Dad.

Where are the kids? It's almost midnight.

They're gonna miss the
fireworks and the fires.

The elves just aren't
that good at pyrotechnics.

Sandra wanted to be alone,
and Cal is sad that Riley isn't here.

His preoccupation
with Riley... It...

It's getting in the way
of his training, honey.

Okay. Here's my advice on the
whole Cal/Riley situation.

Just let it go.

You know what's the worst
thing you can give a child?

- Expired pudding?
- It's not as bad as you think it is.

It's a little tang to it, actually
makes it more interesting.

No, worst thing you can
give a kid is a balloon.

You know, 'cause kids like the
balloon, they wanna see it fly.

So, they let it go. The
balloon doesn't come back.

You got a screaming kid
and a stressed-out parent

because they let it go.

I'm not really sure if you're the
kid or the parent in this story,

but I'm pretty clear
that Cal is the balloon.

I don't wanna lose Cal.

Neither do I.

Three, two, one.
Happy New Year!

Oh.

Animal Girl, sprinkle
more powder, please.

I'm hungry!

Hey, are you having
trouble with the Winternet?

I can't connect with Riley.

This place
can be so frustrating.

Frustrating?

Try putting up
with all the noise.

- Sprinkle more powder!
- Maybe. Yeah.

I just wish me and Riley could
have a normal relationship, like...

I just miss her. You
wouldn't understand.

Come on, Animal Girl.

Don't freeze me out! I sure would like…

Not right now!

What?

I cannot believe
Santa is in my museum.

- Did you come out of my snow globe?
- Snow globe?

You look different than when I
first met you when I was a kid,

but I love the green jacket.

I-I actually have a nutcracker
that looks just like you.

Where is that nutcracker?

Nutcracker!

Curses! They will rue the day.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, I'm really happy that
you're here. Can I get a hug?

- No, mostly because I can't move my arms.
- Mmm.

- If I could, it'd still be a no.
- Well, you know what?

I-I think I speak for the whole
world when I say thank you.

Thank you for the magic
of those snow globes.

Magic? I would never
give humans magic.

They can't be trusted with it.

So, you're not the real Santa?

I am Santa, the rightful Santa!

The Santa who occupies the
North Pole now is a fraud!

♪ Here comes Santa Claus ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪

♪ Vixen and Blitzen and all his
reindeer Pulling on the reins ♪

♪ Bells are ringing, children
singing All is merry and bright ♪

♪ So hang your stockings
And say your prayers ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
comes tonight ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪

♪ He's got a bag That's
filled with toys ♪

♪ For boys and girls again ♪

♪ Hear those sleigh
bells Jingle jangle ♪

♪ Oh, what a beautiful sight ♪

♪ So jump in bed and cover your head
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus ♪

♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪

♪ He doesn't care if
you're rich or poor ♪

♪ He loves you just the same ♪

♪ Santa Claus knows We're
all God's children ♪

♪ That makes everything right ♪

♪ So fill your hearts
With Christmas cheer ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
comes tonight ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪

♪ Vixen and Blitzen and all his
reindeer Pulling on the reins ♪

♪ Bells are ringing, children
singing All is merry and bright ♪

♪ Hang your stockings
And say your prayers ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
comes tonight ♪