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1
00:00:02,251 --> 00:00:05,994
(Man laughs continuously)
2
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:17,679
MAN: Shut up!
3
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:18,680
Original Turkish from aaf
4
00:00:18,681 --> 00:01:50,567
Translated English by AuwAuw
Happy Watching....
5
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,900
MAN: So, girls,
6
00:01:52,903 --> 00:01:57,693
this advertising campaign
is for a new type of aftershave
7
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:01,192
specifically targeting
the poor demographic.
8
00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:03,410
It's called...
9
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,663
...Stank.
10
00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:07,827
I just want you girls
to give me your best trashy
11
00:02:07,835 --> 00:02:10,042
when we get there, alright?
You understand?
12
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:13,334
What we're looking for here
is total realism.
13
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,956
Total realism.
14
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:19,506
That's why I picked this,
the worst suburb in Australia.
15
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:20,502
The worst.
16
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,476
- Have a go at that, bra!
- Wow!
17
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,272
Come on, everyone. Let's go.
18
00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:42,400
Let's go. Security. Thank you.
19
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:51,076
Girls, let's go.
Let's get into our gear. Quickly.
20
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,702
So, girls, when it comes to the walk,
21
00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:54,954
we're going to want
kind of a drunk, flat hustle.
22
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,628
Good.
23
00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:05,381
Ohh!
24
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,725
(Phone rings)
25
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,349
(Shrieks)
26
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,847
I gotta go!
27
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,190
Give me skank!
28
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:25,609
Ha-ha!
29
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,832
Thanks for the text, man.
30
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,326
Have a go at that, Franky!
31
00:03:33,337 --> 00:03:35,999
Come on, girls. Give it to me!
Give me slut!
32
00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:37,542
Ahh!
33
00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:43,298
Come on, babe. Put something into it.
34
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,547
(All laugh)
35
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,112
- Get your gear off!
- I think she was looking on me, man.
36
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,981
- Show us your titties!
- Nah, no way, bro.
37
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,905
- She was on me.
- Show Reg your titties!
38
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,626
Ahh!
39
00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:24,009
(All cheer)
40
00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:27,546
Yeah, fucking cop that,
ya fuckin' anorexic sluts!
41
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:32,558
Fuckin' comin' down here flashing ya
fuckin' gash round, makin' my man horny!
42
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,011
Arggh!
43
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,979
Let's smash those posh wankers!
44
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,891
Arggh!
45
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,858
Arggh!
46
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:49,118
Hey, Shaz, all this
has made me fully toey, babe!
47
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,657
You fancy a 68?
48
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,825
What the fuck's a 68?
49
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,573
It's like a 69,
50
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,247
but you give me head
and then I owe ya one!
51
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,752
I'll fuckin' give ya head!
52
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,122
I'll give ya a fuckin' broken head,
ya fuckwit!
53
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,670
Stop makin' so much bloody noise!
54
00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:06,544
- (Siren blares)
- I can't hear the TV!
55
00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:08,261
All the people on the pension...
56
00:05:08,265 --> 00:05:10,847
- Make some noise!
- (All cheer)
57
00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,512
# (Raps) We hang down on the block
58
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,727
# This is where we live
and we just don't give a fuck
59
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,603
- Yeah, bro!
# 'Cause we don't have a job
60
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,848
# Some scam and others rob
61
00:05:18,859 --> 00:05:20,349
# We wear thongs, bro
62
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,477
# We do AVOs, we wear uggs, bro... #
63
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:23,853
Where'd me kids go?
64
00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:25,695
And if you come here after 7:00...
65
00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:27,906
- You'll have to deal with Kevin.
- Why?
66
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,400
# 'Cause we're housos
67
00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:30,867
# Housos, housos
68
00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:32,702
# Housos, housos, housos
69
00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:35,664
# Housos, housos, housos! #
70
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,000
Neighbours getting to be good friends?
71
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:40,289
Yeah, fucking come down
to Sunnyvale, mate!
72
00:05:45,427 --> 00:05:48,885
(Babies cry)
73
00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:51,801
(Babies cry continuously)
74
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:05,944
How ya goin'?
75
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,155
My name's Barry. (Laughs)
76
00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:09,864
Most people call me Bazza.
77
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,530
This is me local.
78
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:15,200
I know ya met me niece, Shazza Jones,
a bit earlier.
79
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:17,243
She's a good sort, eh? (Laughs)
80
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,618
If I was a bit younger, and wasn't
her uncle, I'd probably give her one.
81
00:06:20,629 --> 00:06:21,618
(Laughs)
82
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,589
He fucked up...
83
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,709
BAZZA: Shazza lives with her de facto,
Dazza.
84
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,836
Yeah, times are tough around here.
85
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,383
(Laughs)
86
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:33,631
Shut up, ya fuckin' monger!
87
00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,098
You spastic!
88
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,927
Have a look!
89
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:41,556
Bloody parking fines and court bills
and your mum's fuckin' prescriptions!
90
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,023
We need money!
91
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,609
I can't hear the television!
92
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:49,652
And poor old Shazza,
oh, she hasn't had a good run lately.
93
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,238
Hey, Beryl, can you mind Bub for me?
I need to have a cone!
94
00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:57,488
I'm not lookin' after your kids
so you can get off your bloody head!
95
00:06:57,499 --> 00:06:58,989
SHAZZA: Bitch!
96
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,457
What?
97
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:08,925
Shazza's dad, me brother, Wazza,
he passed away recently.
98
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,384
Poor bugger.
99
00:07:10,387 --> 00:07:11,877
He had a heart attack
100
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,596
while he was in bed with this filly
he picked up at the races.
101
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,012
Not the four-legged kind, you know,
that'd be weird.
102
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,928
We were all upset,
but it hit Shazza pretty hard.
103
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:27,439
I guess the worst part was
we couldn't afford a decent funeral.
104
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,494
We could have got Dad
a heaps better fuckin' headstone
105
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:45,086
if you didn't waste all the cheque money
on that fuckin' esky wagon!
106
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,330
You're fucked in the face, Daz!
107
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:50,299
Maybe we should leave Shazza and Dazza
alone for a little while.
108
00:07:50,302 --> 00:07:52,338
Why don't I give you
a tour of Sunnyvale?
109
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:55,509
Most people think it's a shithole.
But it's not. It's our area.
110
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,882
It's where we grew up.
It's where we live.
111
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,145
These are the local cops.
112
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:06,185
They're just a bunch of boofheads
if you ask me.
113
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:10,777
Stop!
114
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,521
Fuck it! Fuck it! They're juveniles.
115
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,989
Too much paperwork. Fuck it.
116
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,655
I'd like to taser
those little arseholes!
117
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,654
Nothin' but a bunch
of fuckin' oxygen thieves!
118
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,662
Yeah, that's the local Lebo gang,
119
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,535
the Sunnyvale Assassins.
120
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,085
Not the bloody sharpest
tools in the shed, this lot.
121
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:33,960
Last week, they tried to do a drive-by
on a bloke that owed them money.
122
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:37,338
But because the coppers
defected all their cars,
123
00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:39,385
one of them had to
get his mum to drive them.
124
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,133
(Tyres screech)
125
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,136
What the fuck's going on?! Slow down!
126
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:44,808
Oh, my God! Like, Mummy!
127
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,813
Slow down, please.
What are you doing?
128
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:47,848
(Yells in Arabic)
129
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:51,318
Oh, my God! Like, you're s'posed
to go slow so I can shoot them.
130
00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:52,527
(Yells in Arabic)
131
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,235
Who the fuck brings their mum
to a drive-by, you dickhead?!
132
00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:56,732
Shut up, Rocky! Where's your mum?
133
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,360
Don't talk about my mum, Habib,
or I'll shoot ya!
134
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:00,827
Did you see that?
135
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,947
I think there was a Ninja
inside the car.
136
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,662
Oh, have a go at this lot.
137
00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:07,705
Yeah, they're the local junkies.
138
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,578
'Cause they keep
robbing all the buses,
139
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,002
they don't even run a bus service
down here anymore.
140
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,217
Ya didn't have to take my lunch,
ya little pricks!
141
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,710
Bloody junkies.
142
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,178
(All cheer)
143
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,424
This here's a bit of a birthday
tradition down here on the block.
144
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:24,472
'Cause most people
can't afford a cake for their birthdays,
145
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,812
we usually just burn a car instead.
146
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,479
Hey, Big Wheels,
you gonna be on the icerink later?
147
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,273
Sure am, bro. Wanna buy some dope?
148
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,736
Nah, man.
149
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,152
Even if I did,
like, as if I could afford it.
150
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,953
That bloke there is Franky.
151
00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:45,038
He's Dazza's best mate.
152
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:48,910
Good bloke, but he's always in trouble
with either the coppers or the ladies.
153
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,959
Franky, fuckin' off
from a threesome before ya blow?
154
00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:55,799
I thought I was dating
a fuckin' gentleman.
155
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,510
Oh, one minute slap my arse,
'Oh, go harder, Franky.'
156
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,004
Now, 'Be gentle, man.'
157
00:10:00,015 --> 00:10:02,347
Don't confuse on my brain, please.
(Siren blares)
158
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,013
Oh, sometimes he's in trouble
with both at the same time.
159
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:07,978
(Siren blares)
160
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:10,688
Falzoni! Stop, Falzoni! Stop there!
161
00:10:10,692 --> 00:10:12,603
Here. Time for me
to take the dogs for a run.
162
00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:15,735
Fuckin' go, Franky!
163
00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:19,732
Go fuckin' under it!
Fuckin' under it!
164
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,409
Fuck!
165
00:10:24,998 --> 00:10:27,535
- Stop the cops, mate!
- Fuck off!
166
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,249
I wanna block the coppers, mate!
167
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,709
Arggh!
168
00:10:31,713 --> 00:10:34,876
Park your fuckin' vehicle properly,
will ya, ya fuckwit!
169
00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:37,795
I got a fucked motor brain,
ya fuckin' mongrel dog!
170
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,089
- Get the little prick!
- Come here, ya little fuck!
171
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,346
Too slow, mate! Too slow!
172
00:10:42,349 --> 00:10:45,386
Big Wheels! Give us a lift, mate.
Turn around! The cops are comin'!
173
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,884
- Get on, get on.
- Go!
174
00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:50,012
- Wanna buy some rack, man, or what?
- No, man, just a lift.
175
00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:54,016
If you wanna know why the coppers
are after Franky, well, it's simple.
176
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,488
'Cause he's always doin' stupid shit.
177
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:09,118
Have a bit of a suiz at what he did
yesterday 'cause he was bored.
178
00:11:11,795 --> 00:11:14,002
I am the cop hunter!
179
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,122
(Tyres screech)
180
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,589
What the fuck is he doing?
181
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:22,295
- Ahhhh!
- Ahhhhhh!
182
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:29,551
Ohh!
183
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,975
How did I miss them?!
184
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,472
Alcohol.
185
00:11:33,483 --> 00:11:35,769
That's why they say
don't drink and drive.
186
00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:37,605
It affects accuracy.
187
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,320
Ha!
188
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,780
Look on that, mate!
189
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:43,614
Not even a scratch, mate!
190
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:48,279
And I did it 'cause I hate authority,
mate! I hate it!
191
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:51,327
Sunnyvale, mate!
Sunnyvale for life, mate.
192
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,450
Yeah!
193
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,122
You're fuckin' mental!
194
00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:55,790
Fuck, what's mental about that?
195
00:11:55,797 --> 00:11:57,913
Oh, I think I might have shit meself!
196
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,083
Come back here, ya little fuck!
197
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,845
- Where'd he fuckin' go?
- Fucked if I know.
198
00:12:05,849 --> 00:12:08,591
Ask these coconuts.
They might have fuckin' seen him.
199
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:09,591
Oi!
200
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,434
Did you see a little guy
run through here
201
00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:14,896
with his hat on backwards, little
poofy shorts and fuckin' thongs on?
202
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,606
Why don't youse just piss off
203
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,022
and go catch some real criminals
204
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:23,238
instead of comin' down here
and scarin' my kids, ya dogs?!
205
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:28,242
What the fuck do you think
we're trying to do, ya stupid scrag!
206
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,696
Oi, don't talk to my missus like that,
bro.
207
00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:33,073
That's Dazza's other best mate, Kev,
208
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,666
and his missus, Vanessa.
209
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,160
She's not a bad bird,
210
00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:38,207
but she's always on about her arse.
211
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:41,002
You two lazy pigs are just jealous, eh,
212
00:12:41,009 --> 00:12:43,170
that you'll never
get this fuckin' arse, eh?!
213
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,678
The fuckin' bestest arse
in Sunnyvale, mate!
214
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,219
The bestest arse in fuckin' Sunnyvale?
215
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,433
I'm surprised it fits
in fuckin' Sunnyvale.
216
00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:54,428
- Your head looks like a fuckin' arse.
- It's a two-suburber.
217
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:58,352
I reckon she's got a donkey arse,
and the donkey wants it back.
218
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,727
You can't fuckin' sleep there, mate.
Get that fuckin' thing out of the way.
219
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,146
- Hey! Where youse off to?
- Oh, we're not ambos, mate!
220
00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:06,648
- Just ring triple-O, ya pillock!
- Come help me!
221
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,949
Oh, shit!
222
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:21,330
Darren, go and get the letters.
223
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:24,837
I fuckin' twisted me knee
224
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,552
when I slipped on the shitty nappy
that you didn't pick up!
225
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,592
You might remember
I did my fuckin' hip, too,
226
00:13:29,599 --> 00:13:31,055
which is why I can't work,
227
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,425
so I can't get up
and go and get the mail!
228
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,348
Fuck! Thanks for caring!
229
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:38,313
Reg! Get the letters.
230
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,521
The letters.
231
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,238
(Shouting in distance)
232
00:13:47,534 --> 00:13:50,867
Tyres!
Why would they steal the fuckin' tyres?
233
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,328
Give us back our fuckin' tyres,
ya junkies!
234
00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:54,738
(Laughs)
235
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,412
Oh, me fuckin' nuts!
236
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,626
You useless fuckin' monger, Reg!
237
00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:01,961
Don't speak to your stepfather
like that!
238
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,377
Oh, come on, Mum.
You don't even root him anymore.
239
00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:06,045
You probably don't even toss him.
240
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,590
You're only with him
for a fuckin' carer's benefit.
241
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:10,087
I'm not stupid!
242
00:14:10,098 --> 00:14:12,680
(Laughs)
243
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,471
Sharon!
244
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:18,516
(Continues laughing)
245
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,730
Ya spastic fuckin' clown.
246
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,232
(Continues laughing)
247
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:24,066
Shut up!
248
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,232
- Hey, Shaz?
- What?!
249
00:14:26,239 --> 00:14:27,900
I got a letter here for ya.
250
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,569
It's from Alice Springs.
251
00:14:29,576 --> 00:14:33,068
I don't know anyone from Alice Springs,
ya dickhead!
252
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:43,416
WOMAN: Dear Sharon,
I know you're pissed off with me
253
00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:47,336
because I ran off with Keith the
kangaroo trainer when you were three.
254
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:51,587
But right now, love,
put that emotion to the side.
255
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:54,089
I'm sick and I need to see ya.
256
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:58,811
Me address is on the envelope
and me phone number, too,
257
00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:03,394
or you can add me on Facebook,
or you can send me a tweet.
258
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:07,020
Hurry, love. Your loving mum, Rayleen.
259
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:14,652
How could you leave me and Dad
for that fuckin' gronk, Mum?
260
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,870
How could ya?
261
00:15:27,884 --> 00:15:29,465
Fuckin' bitch.
262
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,596
(Sighs)
263
00:15:34,599 --> 00:15:36,055
Oh, hey, Shaz,
264
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,137
I know you're upset
but I'm dying for a cone.
265
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,635
Can you chuck us the bong?
266
00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:43,059
Nah, look, me mum
just sent me a letter saying she's sick
267
00:15:43,066 --> 00:15:45,899
and I just don't know how to feel
about it, alright?
268
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,938
Didn't she piss off when you were a kid?
269
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:50,608
SHAZZA: It's fucked.
270
00:15:50,657 --> 00:15:53,524
I don't even remember
that much about her, eh.
271
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,277
Except she taught me
how to roll me first joint.
272
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:01,328
I remember once Mum teaching me
me first fuckin' swear word.
273
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:05,452
Your dad, Wazza,
is fucked in the face, Shazza.
274
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,876
Say it. Fucked in the face.
275
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,999
Fucked in the face.
276
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,592
And the only other thing I remember
277
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,429
was catching Mum and Dad rooting
back in the day.
278
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:19,892
Fuck, Dad used to go hard
after he'd come home from the pub.
279
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:23,394
I never even got to know her.
She just pissed off, eh.
280
00:16:23,398 --> 00:16:26,606
Like Mr Kelly says,
'Such is life', Shaz.
281
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,521
Now stop being
such a selfish mole,
282
00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:29,984
and give us the fuckin' bong!
283
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:31,478
Or at least a ciggie!
284
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,355
Piss off! Arggh!
285
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:35,027
Serves ya right, ya dickhead!
286
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:38,619
Arggh! Oh, shit, my fuckin' arm!
287
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,578
Anybody video that?
288
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,415
Why weren't you filming?
I could have got more pension!
289
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,416
- (Shouts in Arabic)
- Ohh, shit!
290
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,956
(Phone beeps)
291
00:16:46,963 --> 00:16:48,419
Oh, fuck this!
292
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:51,005
I'm going down the icerink
with Franky and Kev!
293
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:54,297
Bring me some smokes!
And some tampons!
294
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:59,173
Oh, yeah! I just pay for 'em with me
imaginary credit card, you bloody idiot!
295
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,472
Don't grow up and be like Mummy, Neddy.
296
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,935
(Coughs)
297
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,106
How could ya, Mum?
298
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,521
(Shouts in Arabic)
299
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,041
Oh, no, it's all good, mate.
Don't worry about payment.
300
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,334
It's pensioner-free Tuesday.
I'm on the pension.
301
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:33,832
VIP, very important pensioner.
302
00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:36,255
Good on ya, mate.
Keep an eye on my wheels for me.
303
00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:40,429
Dazza, you space cadet.
How you doing, man?
304
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:42,014
Yeah, not bad.
305
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:44,805
The missus has got the shits again.
306
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,645
How's the cripple drifting going?
307
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,441
Like, I think they've pulled off
a few decent moves today.
308
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:58,485
I've even seen, like, a couple of
these donuts they've been doing.
309
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,777
Spin 'em, Big Wheels! Go, mate!
310
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:03,619
It's not a patch on Bathurst, matey.
311
00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:06,035
Oh, hey,
this'll make everything better, bro.
312
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,031
(Giggles)
313
00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:09,500
Franky, matey, what's going on
with the pussy lately?
314
00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:11,711
'Cause you keep changing
your Facey status, eh.
315
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,205
I can't keep up, mate.
316
00:18:13,216 --> 00:18:15,707
Yeah, man, look, I don't know,
the thing of it is, like,
317
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,882
I think I'm still full like cut
over what's happened to Kylie,
318
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:21,220
'cause I do feel like
I'm full responsible and that.
319
00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:23,761
KYLIE, ON PHONE: - I love you.
- I keep like doing my head in
320
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:26,009
by playing her last video message
over and over.
321
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,137
- I love you!
- Oh, it wasn't your fault, bro.
322
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,265
Just like a stale beer,
ya gotta move on, cuz.
323
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,562
But, man, like, you know,
I feel guilty 'cause,
324
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:36,319
look, I was the one
who asked her to tag that train,
325
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,109
like, as a love dedication tag.
326
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,233
You really gonna do it?
327
00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:43,075
- I love you.
- Yeah, I love you, man!
328
00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:47,368
And, like, you know, if probably
she had not tagged it for me...
329
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,831
Yeah, go, go.
330
00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:51,668
...maybe she would not, like,
have got like hitten by the train.
331
00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:54,420
Go, Kylie!
332
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,003
(Horn blows)
333
00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,969
Kylie, that's too close for a tag!
334
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:04,930
Kylieeee!
335
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:07,308
KYLIE: - I love you.
- Kev's right, matey.
336
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,052
Ya just gotta get over it, eh.
337
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,804
Yeah, but, man, like, I've been trying.
338
00:19:10,857 --> 00:19:12,973
Like, you know,
I've been rooting other chicks
339
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:15,396
to, like, make my brain forget
you know, about Kylie.
340
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:17,359
GIRL: Franky, come on!
341
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,854
- Um...
- Fuck, Franky!
342
00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:21,026
- Yeah, it's just not happening, mate.
- What?!
343
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,820
Like, I got back with Cheree, my ex.
344
00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:25,443
Fuck, she used to be hot, man,
but then she got on the ice.
345
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,743
And now ya can't get a fat, mate.
She's a shocker.
346
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,537
I'm fuckin' awesome. I still am.
I always was and I still am...
347
00:19:31,544 --> 00:19:33,159
Shush, shush, shush, don't talk.
348
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:35,332
What? Tell me! Talk to me! Fuck!
349
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,830
Alright, you wanna know?
350
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:39,332
You're a skank, ya got on the ice
and now look at ya, mate!
351
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,335
Get out of my house! Get out, Franky!
352
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,678
Get out of here,
you stinking piece of shit!
353
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,344
- Ah, you're a skank, mate!
- You arsehole!
354
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,433
And you know the barmaid?
Like, from the pub?
355
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:51,018
Me and her have, like,
a semi-regular thing going.
356
00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:52,933
(Squeals repeatedly)
357
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,932
- And youse know Kazza the stripper?
- Yeah.
358
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:58,777
Yeah, we're sort of been...
like an unofficial BF and GF.
359
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,442
- Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
- Ohhhhhh!
360
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:03,986
I thought you were going out
with Kylie's sister now.
361
00:20:03,993 --> 00:20:05,483
Nah, man.
362
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,111
Like, you know, she's just, like,
friends with benefits.
363
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,330
Sucked in, cops! (Grunts)
364
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,699
And the only reason
I let her stay, like, in my place
365
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,703
is 'cause she's up for, like,
threesomes and foursomes and that.
366
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,420
Ohh! Yeah!
367
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,289
My dick has never been happier.
368
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,256
But my heart
is, like, I don't know, man.
369
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,001
I've still got Kylie on my heart, mate.
370
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:25,545
Like a herpe on your heart?
371
00:20:26,641 --> 00:20:28,347
Don't talk to me about herpe, man.
372
00:20:28,351 --> 00:20:30,182
Crystal, I think, still has one.
373
00:20:30,186 --> 00:20:31,596
Ahhhh!
374
00:20:31,604 --> 00:20:34,562
My missus has got one of those
contraceptives in her arm.
375
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,306
You know, those little stick things?
376
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:39,775
I don't know what's in it, cuz,
but she either wants to bash me...
377
00:20:39,779 --> 00:20:41,269
I hate you!
378
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,192
...or ride rodeo.
379
00:20:43,199 --> 00:20:45,155
I'm so sorry, Kevin!
380
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,277
(Both yell)
381
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,869
- Ahhhh!
- Fucking hell!
382
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:52,831
What, did your kids like try
and burn your house down again?
383
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,324
Yeah, bloody silly kids.
384
00:20:54,335 --> 00:20:57,168
Hey, nothin' wrong
with kids burning shit down.
385
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,584
I burnt down me first school
when I was four, mate.
386
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,458
- (Giggles)
- Just like Ned Kelly!
387
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:05,211
- Oh, choice tatt, bro.
- Fuckin' go, Neddy!
388
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:08,588
Hey! There's no alcohol in here, mate.
389
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,807
Hey, you know what I don't like,
dickhead?
390
00:21:10,810 --> 00:21:13,597
When people like you
puttin' your authority on me.
391
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,855
My thong has gone on the ice.
392
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:19,437
Hello?
393
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,900
SHAZZA: What day is it today?
394
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:24,692
It's Thursday, two o'clock, and
you're still at that icerink, aren't ya?
395
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,527
- Fuckin' moron!
- Franky!
396
00:21:26,534 --> 00:21:28,024
- Franky mate!
- What?
397
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,322
I forgot.
It's our Centrelink appointment now.
398
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,993
But I gotta get a new thong.
It's busted, man.
399
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,001
Ohh, ohh! Ohh... ooh.
400
00:21:46,012 --> 00:21:47,468
Thanks, mate.
401
00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:54,051
Hey, Mullet.
Give me one of your thongs, mate.
402
00:21:57,607 --> 00:21:59,063
Sucked in, mate.
403
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:01,808
It's your chick, man.
404
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,685
Oi, Shazza! We're going now, alright?
405
00:22:03,738 --> 00:22:06,150
- Where are you goin'?
- I'm goin' to the pub.
406
00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:08,648
Don't fuck up.
We really need some money.
407
00:22:11,746 --> 00:22:13,486
Hey! Franky!
408
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:16,365
You owe me money for the child support!
409
00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:18,662
That kid looks nothin' like me, mate!
410
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,877
It's got a head
as big as a bloody pot plant.
411
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,089
I saw the baby! The baby
was look exactly like your nose!
412
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:27,709
If you continue to put your authority
on me, mate,
413
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,460
I'm gonna lose it on you, alright?
414
00:22:29,472 --> 00:22:32,339
No, no! You have to pay me the money!
415
00:22:32,350 --> 00:22:35,183
Fuckin' calm down!
Bash him later, Franky.
416
00:22:35,186 --> 00:22:36,175
So?
417
00:22:36,187 --> 00:22:37,677
Fuck, ya got shit to do!
418
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,930
- You a chicken!
- I gotta go to Centrelink, mate!
419
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:42,307
- Chicken!
- This is not over, alright?
420
00:22:42,318 --> 00:22:44,559
# (Sings) Chicken little Frankily! #
421
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:46,653
You're gonna cop
a fuckin' thonging, mate!
422
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:48,359
Chicken! Frankily!
423
00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:53,492
Oh, gidday, Nessa. What's doin'?
424
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:56,701
Oh, one of me kids, they
bite a teacher's finger off at school.
425
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:57,697
Yeah.
426
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,166
How fuckin' awesome is that, eh?
(Laughs)
427
00:23:00,211 --> 00:23:01,166
Oi!
428
00:23:01,212 --> 00:23:03,419
Give us a beer, would ya, darlin'?
429
00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,539
I've only got enough for half,
but fill her up
430
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,632
and I'II give you
the rest on cheque day, eh?
431
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,045
Oh, what's doing, Shazza?
432
00:23:12,056 --> 00:23:14,263
Oh, Dazza and Franky
have gone up to Centrelink.
433
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:16,007
They're trying to get us cashed up, eh?
434
00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:18,226
BAZZA: Now, Dazza
needed to make Shazza happy,
435
00:23:18,229 --> 00:23:20,515
so he needed money real bad.
436
00:23:20,523 --> 00:23:23,310
Now, Franky remembered
down at Centrelink
437
00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:25,479
if you tell them
you can't feed your kids,
438
00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:27,067
they'll give you food vouchers.
439
00:23:27,071 --> 00:23:29,062
Feed your miserable children.
440
00:23:29,073 --> 00:23:31,655
Franky, mate,
what fuckin' good is this shit?
441
00:23:31,659 --> 00:23:35,151
- These are the food vouchers, yeah?
- Yeah, but it's not money.
442
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:36,744
This is what we're gonna do.
443
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,583
OK, go voucher them chickens
in the checkout.
444
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,669
I'm gonna go pinch
some raffle tickets.
445
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:50,049
Right, now we go into the pub
and we tell the stooges
446
00:23:50,094 --> 00:23:53,052
that we're gonna raffle off
them chickens for charity, mate.
447
00:23:53,097 --> 00:23:54,803
(Laughs)
448
00:23:54,807 --> 00:23:56,263
What's it for, mate?
449
00:23:56,267 --> 00:23:59,225
Yeah, uh, this will be
for the victims of the fire, man.
450
00:23:59,228 --> 00:24:01,264
This is for the victims of the flood.
451
00:24:01,272 --> 00:24:03,263
This is for the soldiers
that got killed
452
00:24:03,274 --> 00:24:05,230
on the landmines
on the Anzacs and that.
453
00:24:05,234 --> 00:24:06,724
Uh, vagina research.
454
00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,439
It's for herpe research.
455
00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:10,107
Cancer on dick research.
456
00:24:10,114 --> 00:24:12,355
Franky, mate,
you should have stuck to one story!
457
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:15,359
Look at those guys, mate.
They're fuckin' talking to each other!
458
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:17,486
Hey, fuckwit,
you told me it was for the floods,
459
00:24:17,538 --> 00:24:19,529
you told him
it's for the fuckin' bushfires.
460
00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:22,077
- Yeah, what the fuck is it?
- They're all worthy causes.
461
00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:23,541
Fuck this!
462
00:24:23,544 --> 00:24:25,705
Dazza, man, go home.
Save me a chicken leg.
463
00:24:25,713 --> 00:24:27,704
This is not gonna take long.
464
00:24:27,715 --> 00:24:29,797
Thong the fuck out of 'em, Franky!
465
00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:37,593
Big Wheels!
466
00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,815
Oh, Franky bro.
467
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:49,316
What's this, man?
468
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,151
We made a Sunnyvale spa bath!
469
00:24:51,155 --> 00:24:53,020
- Hop in.
- Yeah, sick.
470
00:24:53,032 --> 00:24:54,647
But what happened to all the money?
471
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:57,693
I used a little bit to get beer
and smokes for me and Kev.
472
00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:00,571
Most of it went on blood plugs
for the missus.
473
00:25:00,581 --> 00:25:03,414
BAZZA: Now, after the boys
all had a go in the hot tub...
474
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:04,954
Hot tub!
475
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:09,838
... and after Dazza realised the junkies
had knocked off his esky wheels...
476
00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:11,331
No!
477
00:25:11,342 --> 00:25:13,628
Fuck you, Dazza! (Laughs)
478
00:25:13,636 --> 00:25:15,422
Fucking junkies!
479
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:18,137
...Franky suggested
they go and see the Lebos.
480
00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:22,100
They might have some dirty deed
that might make the boys some money.
481
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:25,595
Yeah, no, we'll just do a bashing
for them, or maybe knock off some cars.
482
00:25:25,606 --> 00:25:28,518
- Then we'll get you some cash, mate.
- Oh, choice, bro.
483
00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:30,266
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
484
00:25:31,779 --> 00:25:33,610
Well, the boys were out of luck,
485
00:25:33,656 --> 00:25:35,362
'cause half an hour earlier,
486
00:25:35,366 --> 00:25:37,698
the Assassins had
a run-in with this little bloke.
487
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:41,035
His name's Johno,
and, believe it or not, he's a bikie.
488
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:43,701
Hey, tic-tac,
where'd you get the ride from, bro?
489
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:44,823
Santa?
490
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,916
(All laugh)
491
00:25:46,919 --> 00:25:48,830
Do you know who I am?!
492
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:50,453
Who? Poofter smurf?
493
00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:51,955
(All laugh)
494
00:25:51,966 --> 00:25:55,550
You wanna go, fuckers?
Let's fuckin' go, then!
495
00:25:55,553 --> 00:25:57,168
- Come on!
- Smash him!
496
00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:59,296
- Argghhh!
- Come on!
497
00:26:01,142 --> 00:26:03,053
That's Johno's brother, Angry.
498
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,050
He's the president
499
00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,893
of the local bikie gang, The Hunters.
500
00:26:05,938 --> 00:26:08,805
These blokes run
all sorts of scams around here,
501
00:26:08,858 --> 00:26:11,440
and they're not the sort of buggers
you want to mess with.
502
00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:15,437
Yeah, I know my little brother
can be a prick, but he's blood.
503
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:18,360
You fuck with him and you're dog meat.
504
00:26:18,367 --> 00:26:20,153
Arggghhhh!
505
00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:24,321
Sorry!
506
00:26:24,332 --> 00:26:26,118
Arrghhh!
507
00:26:26,125 --> 00:26:28,207
I think that rules the Lebos out
as an option.
508
00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:29,166
Shit!
509
00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:31,077
Ohh! Ohh!
510
00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,000
(Siren blares)
511
00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:35,874
Well, that's when the Lebo boys' luck
went from bad to shocking.
512
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,796
Somebody called the coppers
to help them,
513
00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:39,260
but when they turned up,
514
00:26:39,263 --> 00:26:41,424
they got arrested
for outstanding warrants.
515
00:26:41,432 --> 00:26:42,922
Ah, ya fuckin' knob.
516
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,390
Shut the fuck up, ya zubs!
517
00:26:44,393 --> 00:26:47,476
(All shout)
518
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,439
- (Phone rings)
- Sharon, answer the bloody phone!
519
00:26:51,442 --> 00:26:54,479
I'm in here
dealing with my life at the moment!
520
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:56,603
You fuckin' answer it!
521
00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:59,401
Reg, you answer it.
522
00:26:59,408 --> 00:27:00,864
(Phone rings)
523
00:27:00,868 --> 00:27:02,529
(Long distance beeps)
524
00:27:02,537 --> 00:27:05,119
WOMAN, ON PHONE: - Hello?
- Hello?
525
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,205
- Hello?
- Hello?
526
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:10,416
- Hello?
- Hello?
527
00:27:14,006 --> 00:27:15,496
Whaddya want?!
528
00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:19,216
(Coughs)
529
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,053
- What, ya monger?
- (Coughs)
530
00:27:22,056 --> 00:27:25,264
- Give it here and get out! Shit!
- Eughh! (Coughs)
531
00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:26,303
Hello?
532
00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:30,644
If this is DOCS, Shazza Jones
can't come to the phone at the moment
533
00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:35,233
and she's not responsible for her kids
burning or breaking anything.
534
00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:40,025
Sharon? It's me, love. Your mum.
535
00:27:40,032 --> 00:27:41,272
What?
536
00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:45,152
Listen, love. I don't think
I've got too much time left.
537
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:49,953
So I wanna see you face to face
so I can explain things to you.
538
00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,450
I... I can't talk right now.
539
00:27:54,505 --> 00:27:56,871
(Sobs)
540
00:28:00,761 --> 00:28:02,342
Hey, slow down. I'm rooted.
541
00:28:02,346 --> 00:28:04,587
We walked two whole streets
for fuckin' nothing!
542
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:07,966
Listen, man,
on my brain, I just remembered...
543
00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:10,138
You know that cafe
down near the train station?
544
00:28:10,146 --> 00:28:11,636
We'll knock it off.
545
00:28:11,647 --> 00:28:14,480
So, Kev, me and you, we'II go
check it out, make sure it's cool.
546
00:28:14,483 --> 00:28:15,939
You get some masks.
547
00:28:15,943 --> 00:28:17,808
Hey, then you're gonna get your money.
548
00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:28,869
What is this, mate?
These masks are shit.
549
00:28:28,873 --> 00:28:31,660
What, are you gonna go in
the Maori Mardi Gras with this thing?
550
00:28:31,667 --> 00:28:34,500
Fuckin' Tyrannosaurus Dickhead
over here.
551
00:28:34,503 --> 00:28:36,459
Do I look like a poof to you, bro?
552
00:28:41,928 --> 00:28:43,884
What are you doin', man?
553
00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,344
What the hell?
554
00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:47,839
How's that, mate?
555
00:28:47,850 --> 00:28:49,556
What's that s'posed to be, a mask?
556
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,391
Bro, you gotta put some eye holes in it!
557
00:28:51,395 --> 00:28:53,761
That fuckin' thing!
This is fuckin' stupid, mate!
558
00:28:53,814 --> 00:28:56,897
You can't even see off it!
Come on, man!
559
00:28:58,152 --> 00:29:00,518
You know what?
I'm just gonna do it myself, mate.
560
00:29:00,529 --> 00:29:02,394
Just text me if the coppers come.
561
00:29:03,658 --> 00:29:06,070
I just ran out of credit, man.
Have youse got credit?
562
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:07,237
Nuh.
563
00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,701
Mind that.
564
00:29:17,463 --> 00:29:20,671
(Shouting in distance)
565
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:22,506
Hey, is that Franky's ex?
566
00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:24,592
- Cheree?
- Yeah, bro.
567
00:29:24,595 --> 00:29:29,595
BAZZA: One thing about Sunnyvale is
those last few days before cheue day.
568
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:32,471
You know, that's when people
really get desperate for money.
569
00:29:32,478 --> 00:29:35,515
Hey, hey, hey!
What about friends of the Frankily?
570
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:36,979
What do you want, mate?!
571
00:29:36,983 --> 00:29:38,974
Fuckin' not now, bro. Franky's in there.
572
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:42,603
Junior and Cheree have been
chasing Franky's child support for ages.
573
00:29:42,613 --> 00:29:45,776
Dazza and Kev, they had to get
those two idiots away from the cafe.
574
00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:47,739
'Cause they were causing such a stink,
575
00:29:47,743 --> 00:29:49,859
they were going to blow it all
for Franky.
576
00:29:49,870 --> 00:29:51,360
Don't push me!
577
00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:54,034
- Tell me where Frankily is?
- What the fuck's a Frankily?
578
00:29:54,041 --> 00:29:57,078
You know exactly where he is.
He always fuckin' hangs out with you.
579
00:29:57,086 --> 00:29:59,077
- Get outta here, mate! And you!
- Yeah!
580
00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:01,124
Get outta here!
Go make some more grey babies!
581
00:30:01,173 --> 00:30:02,879
(Laughs) Oh, that's not funny.
582
00:30:02,883 --> 00:30:05,920
Junior! There's Franky!
And he's got money!
583
00:30:05,928 --> 00:30:06,917
Frankily!
584
00:30:06,929 --> 00:30:09,090
What's this bullshit, man?
585
00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:11,222
Hey, give me that money
for the child support!
586
00:30:11,225 --> 00:30:12,715
Piss off, dickhead mate!
587
00:30:12,727 --> 00:30:14,308
Proceeds of crime do not count
588
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,769
as legitimate income
for child support, dickhead!
589
00:30:16,772 --> 00:30:19,388
It's your baby!
You put the sperm on the stomach!
590
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,607
We only had a sixty-niner, mate!
591
00:30:21,652 --> 00:30:23,108
(Screams)
592
00:30:24,488 --> 00:30:26,149
(Screams) Junior!
593
00:30:29,618 --> 00:30:30,778
Franky!
594
00:30:30,786 --> 00:30:33,118
Hey, Bubbles! Muli!
595
00:30:33,122 --> 00:30:34,908
Help me! Help me!
596
00:30:34,915 --> 00:30:36,496
- Uh!
- Get off him, Franky!
597
00:30:38,252 --> 00:30:40,288
Junior, I got it!
598
00:30:40,296 --> 00:30:42,161
- Cops! Cops!
(Siren blares)
599
00:30:42,173 --> 00:30:43,629
Cops! Cops!
600
00:30:43,632 --> 00:30:45,213
It's police, man!
601
00:30:45,259 --> 00:30:46,715
Run! Come on, everybody!
602
00:30:52,099 --> 00:30:53,930
Oh, cops, cops, cops, cops.
603
00:30:53,934 --> 00:30:56,095
(Siren blares)
604
00:30:58,564 --> 00:31:00,771
Mate, how did we lose the money, mate?
605
00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:02,231
There's, like, three of us.
606
00:31:02,234 --> 00:31:05,146
Mate, I lost two fuckin' good thongs
on the bitch! I had a go!
607
00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:07,236
How much was it, bro?
608
00:31:07,239 --> 00:31:08,979
What, you think I had time to count it?
609
00:31:08,991 --> 00:31:11,573
Man, I done a lot of robberies
in my time,
610
00:31:11,619 --> 00:31:13,075
but I swear to God,
611
00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:15,866
that whole thing in there,
that was just freaky, mate.
612
00:31:21,545 --> 00:31:25,413
So, like, I go in there, right,
and nobody notices me.
613
00:31:25,424 --> 00:31:28,006
Why? 'Cause they're all,
like, playing on their phones.
614
00:31:28,010 --> 00:31:29,875
Like, it's like I'm invisible.
615
00:31:54,537 --> 00:31:55,993
(Cup clatters)
616
00:31:55,996 --> 00:31:57,952
Man, I don't know.
617
00:31:57,957 --> 00:32:00,869
I'm just putting the whole thing down
in my 'freaky shit' files.
618
00:32:00,876 --> 00:32:02,491
And I don't mean to be a prick, Dazza,
619
00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:05,461
but, man, my thongs are killing me
from this stooging around.
620
00:32:05,464 --> 00:32:06,954
Like, I need a rest now, mate.
621
00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:09,833
Yeah, bro, and after that punch-on,
I'm thirsty as.
622
00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:11,630
This is like work!
623
00:32:11,637 --> 00:32:13,798
Fuck Shazza and her fuckin' money!
624
00:32:13,806 --> 00:32:15,296
I need a cone!
625
00:32:18,644 --> 00:32:20,305
- Hey, Big Wheels.
- Hey, Dazza.
626
00:32:20,312 --> 00:32:22,223
- You wanna buy some pot?
- Fuck, yeah.
627
00:32:22,231 --> 00:32:24,096
I got no money, but.
Can I get it on credit?
628
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:25,689
- No, no credit, mate.
- Fuck!
629
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,648
A lot of people say
a lot of stuff about Sunnyvale,
630
00:32:29,655 --> 00:32:31,941
like it's like
a shit sandwich at a picnic.
631
00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:33,439
That's rubbish.
632
00:32:34,618 --> 00:32:36,904
Tell ya one thing, but.
It's never boring.
633
00:32:36,912 --> 00:32:38,493
(Chuckles)
634
00:32:38,497 --> 00:32:39,953
I got her number.
635
00:32:39,957 --> 00:32:41,447
Yeah, last Friday.
636
00:32:53,387 --> 00:32:56,925
Hallelujah, baby! Whoo-hoo!
637
00:32:56,974 --> 00:32:58,805
(Grunts)
638
00:32:58,809 --> 00:33:00,800
Oi! Oi, Shaz?
639
00:33:00,811 --> 00:33:02,642
Hey, I don't mind if you sleep,
640
00:33:02,646 --> 00:33:04,807
but watch where you
drop your cigarette, right?
641
00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:06,893
Ya nearly set Neddy on fire, darl.
642
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:09,233
You and I need to have a talk, Darren.
643
00:33:09,236 --> 00:33:10,726
(Cries)
644
00:33:10,779 --> 00:33:13,111
Oh, poo, he stinks! You take him.
645
00:33:13,115 --> 00:33:14,605
You're fuckin' useless!
646
00:33:14,617 --> 00:33:15,857
(Cries)
647
00:33:15,868 --> 00:33:19,486
Look, Daz, I need you to listen to me
for a second, alright?
648
00:33:19,538 --> 00:33:23,281
Now, I haven't asked you for nothin'
since we've been together, eh?
649
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:27,077
But me mum, she's real fuckin' sick
and I need to go visit her, right?
650
00:33:27,087 --> 00:33:28,543
She lives in Ayers Rock.
651
00:33:30,466 --> 00:33:33,674
Can't ya just Skype her,
like, on the computer?
652
00:33:33,677 --> 00:33:37,545
No, I can't just fuckin' Skype her!
I wanna go see her!
653
00:33:37,556 --> 00:33:39,342
(Cries)
654
00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:41,386
Shazza, stop hassling me, right?!
655
00:33:41,393 --> 00:33:44,726
You're making me feel like a nut
twisted up inside a pair of budgies!
656
00:33:44,730 --> 00:33:47,267
Hey! Will you two shut the fuck up?!
657
00:33:47,274 --> 00:33:49,060
Get fucked!
658
00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:51,650
We can't shoot up
with all that fuckin' noise out there!
659
00:33:51,695 --> 00:33:53,151
Up your arse, mate!
660
00:33:53,155 --> 00:33:55,441
- And up your arse too, bitch!
- Fuck you!
661
00:33:55,449 --> 00:33:57,314
BERYL: I can't hear the TV!
662
00:34:01,747 --> 00:34:04,033
Dazza, ya bogan unit. Get in here, man.
663
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:06,032
Out! You boys jump in the boot.
664
00:34:06,043 --> 00:34:07,908
Make some room for your Uncle Dazza.
665
00:34:14,885 --> 00:34:17,797
- Nice wheels, Franky.
- You like the paint, man?
666
00:34:17,805 --> 00:34:20,888
I just knocked this off.
I've done it all myself, mate.
667
00:34:20,891 --> 00:34:22,631
Pimped my own ride.
668
00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:26,515
Dazza, you're like
gettin' me depressed lookin' at ya.
669
00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:28,683
- What's wrong?
- Shazza's doin' my head in.
670
00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:30,898
She wants us to
take this big fuckin' trip, right?
671
00:34:30,901 --> 00:34:34,359
I don't know why her fuckin' slut of a
mum can't just drive her arse down here.
672
00:34:34,363 --> 00:34:36,820
- Where's her mum live?
- Near fuckin' Ayers Rock!
673
00:34:36,824 --> 00:34:37,813
Ohh!
674
00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:40,316
How the fuck am I gonna get
me and Shaz up to Ayers Rock?
675
00:34:41,620 --> 00:34:43,906
Ayers Rock, it's nothin' but a big rock.
676
00:34:43,914 --> 00:34:45,996
- It's fuckin' boring.
- (Laughs)
677
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,332
Hey, Crystal? Wanna give me a pash?
678
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:52,836
Franky, look out!
679
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,421
Ahhh!
680
00:34:58,178 --> 00:34:59,668
(Tyres screech)
681
00:35:01,181 --> 00:35:04,014
- (Cheering, laughter)
- Coppers, mate!
682
00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:06,225
Hey, hey, watch this! Watch this!
683
00:35:06,228 --> 00:35:08,059
(Tyres screech)
684
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:11,347
Hey! Hey, hey, mate!
685
00:35:11,358 --> 00:35:13,064
- Are you alright?
- (Grunts)
686
00:35:13,068 --> 00:35:15,855
Well, then, you'd better cop a thong,
you dickhead!
687
00:35:15,863 --> 00:35:17,399
(Laughter)
688
00:35:17,406 --> 00:35:19,442
Get the other one. Get the other one!
689
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:22,317
(Cheering, laughter)
690
00:35:22,328 --> 00:35:23,818
Suck on that, poof!
691
00:35:27,082 --> 00:35:28,572
(Shouting)
692
00:35:28,584 --> 00:35:30,120
Go, go, go, go!
693
00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:33,164
Hey, kids, stay in the boot!
I'll come back for ya later!
694
00:35:33,172 --> 00:35:34,252
(Laughs)
695
00:35:36,216 --> 00:35:37,672
All units!
696
00:35:37,676 --> 00:35:39,166
All Sunnyvale units.
697
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:41,510
Officers down! Officers down!
698
00:35:41,513 --> 00:35:44,676
Oh, fuck! Useless bastards.
They always do this.
699
00:35:45,934 --> 00:35:48,141
Uh, Sunnyvale 4 radio,
that's a negative.
700
00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:50,807
We've just been handed
a brown paper bag.
701
00:35:50,814 --> 00:35:53,476
We are assessing its contents. Over.
702
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:55,725
(Laughs) I like that one.
703
00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:00,062
What are you staring at my chips for?
704
00:36:00,074 --> 00:36:01,905
I'm not staring at your chips.
705
00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:03,945
No, you are. You are.
706
00:36:03,952 --> 00:36:06,443
I'm just seeing if you were
gonna finish 'em this time.
707
00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:09,113
No, no, no. You stare
at my fuckin' chips every time.
708
00:36:09,124 --> 00:36:10,614
You do it every fuckin' time.
709
00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:13,459
Yeah, because you never
finish your chips, Garry. Every time.
710
00:36:13,462 --> 00:36:15,373
- I fuckin' do.
- Garry, you never do.
711
00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:17,622
- That's why I don't order chips.
- You want chips?
712
00:36:17,633 --> 00:36:21,000
- Are you gonna finish 'em or not?
- Here! Have some fuckin' chips!
713
00:36:21,011 --> 00:36:22,501
Why would you do that, Garry?
714
00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:24,504
Hope you're happy now!
715
00:36:24,515 --> 00:36:26,426
(Laughter)
716
00:36:26,433 --> 00:36:29,300
Hey, how about that cop?
He copped a thong in the face, mate!
717
00:36:29,311 --> 00:36:31,893
You know what it was?
It was like Grand Thonged Auto.
718
00:36:31,897 --> 00:36:33,353
(Laughter)
719
00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:37,475
Hey, Dazza, you gotta be
cheered up now, man. That was mad.
720
00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:40,319
No, even the pot's not working, man.
721
00:36:40,322 --> 00:36:42,404
What about if I get Kazza
to, like, you know,
722
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:44,273
flash these stripper tits, man?
723
00:36:44,284 --> 00:36:45,820
Would that cheer you up?
724
00:36:45,828 --> 00:36:49,070
Of course I wanna see 'em.
But I need fuckin' money, mate.
725
00:36:49,081 --> 00:36:51,663
Look, man, you know,
I do have a scam we could try.
726
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:54,909
That fat bloke down the road,
he's done it, and he got a mad payout.
727
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,376
What is it?
728
00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:58,587
BAZZA: Franky knew this bloke Jim.
729
00:36:58,590 --> 00:37:02,583
Well, let's just say,
Jim's a bit of a big bloke.
730
00:37:02,594 --> 00:37:05,586
Anyway, he sort of fell
through the floor of his house.
731
00:37:05,597 --> 00:37:07,087
(Wood creaks)
732
00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:08,805
So Jim sued the Housing Commission.
733
00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:12,973
The big bugger got a huge payout,
and now he's all cashed up.
734
00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:17,690
So Franky thought maybe with Beryl's
help, they could make some money too.
735
00:37:17,693 --> 00:37:19,900
No bloody way! Ahh!
736
00:37:19,903 --> 00:37:22,189
Argghh...!
737
00:37:22,197 --> 00:37:23,186
Ahh!
738
00:37:23,198 --> 00:37:24,688
Again!
739
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,565
(All grunt)
740
00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:27,532
Drop!
741
00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:30,115
(Laughs)
742
00:37:30,122 --> 00:37:31,612
(All grunt)
743
00:37:31,623 --> 00:37:33,113
- Drop!
- Ohh!
744
00:37:33,125 --> 00:37:34,160
(Laughs)
745
00:37:34,168 --> 00:37:35,624
That's e-bloody-nuff!
746
00:37:35,627 --> 00:37:39,290
I'm already on the disability!
I don't wanna really be bloody disabled!
747
00:37:39,339 --> 00:37:41,079
- One more, one more.
- No!
748
00:37:41,091 --> 00:37:42,797
(Laughs)
749
00:37:42,801 --> 00:37:44,632
- Drop!
- Ahhh!
750
00:37:44,636 --> 00:37:45,625
(Laughs)
751
00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:47,127
- It's not working!
- One minute.
752
00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:48,637
I wanna check.
753
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:52,716
Look, it's a concrete slab.
754
00:37:52,728 --> 00:37:55,344
She's heavy as,
but she's not going through.
755
00:37:55,355 --> 00:37:57,095
Oh, good one, Mum!
756
00:37:57,107 --> 00:38:00,645
Look, Daz!
I know youse are tryin' your hardest
757
00:38:00,694 --> 00:38:03,481
but I've gotta tell you,
you are fuckin' useless!
758
00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:05,104
Alright! I know, OK?!
759
00:38:05,115 --> 00:38:07,401
I blame me dad
because he wrecked me confidence
760
00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:09,783
and was always
putting fuckin' pressure on me!
761
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,324
- Fuck!
- (Scoffs)
762
00:38:12,331 --> 00:38:16,199
Darren, you are a complete
and utter fucking idiot.
763
00:38:16,210 --> 00:38:18,417
You are a bloody loser.
764
00:38:18,420 --> 00:38:20,160
You are a disgrace to me.
765
00:38:20,214 --> 00:38:22,705
Dazza, you are a fucking wombat.
766
00:38:22,716 --> 00:38:24,547
You are a liability.
767
00:38:24,551 --> 00:38:27,759
You are a fuckin' drongo, aren't ya?
768
00:38:27,763 --> 00:38:29,378
You are a fuckin' wombat.
769
00:38:29,389 --> 00:38:32,426
- What are ya?
- A fuckin' wombat.
770
00:38:32,434 --> 00:38:34,675
Why can't you all leave me alone?!
771
00:38:34,686 --> 00:38:36,472
What sort of wombat are you?
772
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,766
Hairy-nosed wombat.
773
00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:40,522
Go away!
774
00:38:40,526 --> 00:38:42,312
Sad sack. Wombat.
775
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,275
Fuckin' idiot.
776
00:38:44,279 --> 00:38:46,770
- Can I have a cuddle?
- You want a cuddle, do ya?
777
00:38:48,283 --> 00:38:49,739
OK. (Laughs)
778
00:38:49,743 --> 00:38:51,449
(Neck cracks)
779
00:38:51,453 --> 00:38:54,115
- You feel better now, do ya, son?
- Yes, Dad.
780
00:38:54,122 --> 00:38:57,535
He was such a prick,
and he fucked up my whole life, Shaz!
781
00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:11,257
- Oh, gidday, Uncle Baz.
- Gidday, Shazza.
782
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:14,552
Now, if you're really desperate
in Sunnyvale,
783
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,926
and you got no-one else
to sort out your dramas,
784
00:39:16,979 --> 00:39:18,685
you go and see the bikies.
785
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,678
Yeah.
786
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:22,477
For the right price,
they can organise just about anything.
787
00:39:23,485 --> 00:39:28,400
Well, Shazza Jones.
What can I do for you?
788
00:39:28,407 --> 00:39:31,820
Look, mate, you know
we done business together before?
789
00:39:31,827 --> 00:39:35,115
I just need to make some money
so I can go visit me mum.
790
00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:37,784
Shazza, you know I'd like to help ya.
791
00:39:37,791 --> 00:39:40,783
And I do not want to sound like
an arsehole.
792
00:39:40,794 --> 00:39:43,376
But we already tried you out
for the strip club.
793
00:39:55,225 --> 00:39:58,717
What do we have to do
to get a tip off you tight-arses, eh?
794
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:01,095
Dazza may think you're a cougar,
795
00:40:01,106 --> 00:40:05,475
but I can't put an old Holden
in with a bunch of new Ferraris.
796
00:40:05,485 --> 00:40:08,147
Yeah, but you know
you can rely on me, eh.
797
00:40:08,155 --> 00:40:11,397
I did that whole thing for you in Bali
with the boogie board,
798
00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:14,775
and I didn't fuck it up like
Dazza's stupid cousin Schapelle did.
799
00:40:14,786 --> 00:40:16,367
- Did I?
- Arggh!
800
00:40:16,371 --> 00:40:18,282
Oh, fuck off, ya ugg boot.
801
00:40:18,290 --> 00:40:20,406
Ya fuckin' dirty skank!
802
00:40:20,417 --> 00:40:23,534
Hey, Johno! Settle. This is business.
803
00:40:23,545 --> 00:40:25,627
Tank, take him outside.
804
00:40:25,631 --> 00:40:27,121
Polish me Harley.
805
00:40:27,132 --> 00:40:29,248
But I fuckin' polished it yesterday!
806
00:40:29,259 --> 00:40:31,625
Oh, fuck off me! Fuck off!
807
00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:35,095
Come here, Shaz.
808
00:40:35,140 --> 00:40:38,223
Tell me what you need.
Maybe I can help ya.
809
00:40:39,227 --> 00:40:43,061
Now, Shazza told Angry she needed
to go up to Ayers Rock to see her mum.
810
00:40:43,065 --> 00:40:45,807
I reckon Shazza
should've bought a lotto ticket,
811
00:40:45,859 --> 00:40:48,020
'cause it was her lucky day.
812
00:40:49,279 --> 00:40:52,897
Right, here's the keys to the van.
813
00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:54,864
This is a fuel card.
814
00:40:54,868 --> 00:40:56,824
It's only good for fuel.
815
00:40:56,828 --> 00:40:59,365
So, you make the drop,
you can go and see your mum.
816
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:02,865
And then you bring the van back.
817
00:41:02,876 --> 00:41:05,242
Do not fuck this up.
818
00:41:08,090 --> 00:41:09,751
Arggh!
819
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,460
Oi, Dazza!
820
00:41:14,471 --> 00:41:17,759
Get up, ya bloody gronk.
We're goin' on a road trip.
821
00:41:19,685 --> 00:41:20,800
Kev!
822
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:24,269
They took the kids, you stupid arsehole!
They took 'em!
823
00:41:24,272 --> 00:41:26,729
They took our babies! You bastard!
824
00:41:26,733 --> 00:41:28,189
Kev, what's going on, mate?
825
00:41:28,193 --> 00:41:31,526
Fuckin' DOCS took the kids, bro.
'Cause they burnt down the school again.
826
00:41:31,530 --> 00:41:33,486
Fuck you, Kevin!
It's your fuckin' fault!
827
00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:35,947
No wait! This could
work out real good, right?
828
00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:37,441
Youse won't need child care,
829
00:41:37,452 --> 00:41:39,693
'cause me and Shazza,
we're doin' a road trip.
830
00:41:39,705 --> 00:41:41,991
- You guys wanna come?
- Yeah.
831
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:43,739
Oh, fuck yeah!
832
00:41:43,750 --> 00:41:45,411
Hey, Mum!
833
00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,660
We're goin' on a fuckin' road trip!
834
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:49,252
When are ya fuckin' comin' back?
835
00:41:49,297 --> 00:41:51,162
I don't fuckin' know!
836
00:41:51,216 --> 00:41:52,956
Well, fuck off then!
837
00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:55,254
Ahhh! Ahhh!
838
00:41:55,262 --> 00:41:57,173
- (Squeals)
- Ahhhh!
839
00:41:57,180 --> 00:41:58,920
(Phone rings)
840
00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:02,974
- Ahh! Ahh!
- Hello?
841
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,635
Franky! Franky!
842
00:42:04,646 --> 00:42:07,388
Dazza, bro, I'm having a threesome
at the moment, man.
843
00:42:07,399 --> 00:42:10,516
We're going to Ayers Rock, mate!
We've got this mad campervan, mate.
844
00:42:10,527 --> 00:42:14,111
It's got TV, DVDs,
got a shower and a dunny even.
845
00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:15,604
- Franky...
- Hey!
846
00:42:15,615 --> 00:42:18,322
- We've got a fridge full of free piss.
- Free piss?
847
00:42:18,326 --> 00:42:20,442
So get your houso arse on the bus!
Come on, mate!
848
00:42:20,495 --> 00:42:22,486
Why are we still talking on the phone,
man?
849
00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:28,163
Are you fuckin' serious, Franky?
850
00:42:28,170 --> 00:42:30,786
I bludged me shift at the strip club
for this root.
851
00:42:30,797 --> 00:42:33,163
Yeah, and I was
finally gettin' me rhythm on.
852
00:42:33,175 --> 00:42:35,587
None of us blew,
so it's all equals, man.
853
00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:38,757
Oh, we don't have all fuckin' day,
Franky! Jesus!
854
00:42:38,764 --> 00:42:40,629
We'll fuckin' finish each other off.
855
00:42:41,808 --> 00:42:44,015
Hey, wait a minute.
856
00:42:45,020 --> 00:42:48,729
Hey! Did one of youse
pull the tarp off the Corvette?
857
00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:49,729
Nuh!
858
00:42:49,775 --> 00:42:52,391
I think someone's
been stoogin' around with it.
859
00:42:54,404 --> 00:42:56,235
Where's the engine?
860
00:42:57,908 --> 00:43:00,274
(All cheer)
861
00:43:00,285 --> 00:43:01,741
Road trip, mate!
862
00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:03,531
Spewin' about that engine, but.
863
00:43:03,580 --> 00:43:06,697
Oh, hey, what the fuck
are those fobs up to, bro?
864
00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:10,951
Hey! Hey!
865
00:43:10,962 --> 00:43:13,829
Hey, you coconuts! Is that my engine?
866
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,297
Hey, you didn't pay us the money
for the child support,
867
00:43:16,301 --> 00:43:19,134
so we're selling your engine
so we can go get some money.
868
00:43:19,137 --> 00:43:20,593
Ha, ha!
869
00:43:20,597 --> 00:43:22,633
Why is Donkey Kong in the nude?
870
00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:25,508
He doesn't want
to get his clothes dirty.
871
00:43:25,519 --> 00:43:26,679
Stupid.
872
00:43:26,686 --> 00:43:28,426
Don't get oil on your dip stick!
873
00:43:28,438 --> 00:43:31,521
I've just gotta steal another engine.
Sucked in!
874
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:33,015
Stupid fobs, mate.
875
00:43:33,026 --> 00:43:36,894
Hey, this bed's mad.
I'm gonna get up and have a go.
876
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:39,567
Oi! Just get down, Franky.
877
00:43:39,574 --> 00:43:41,610
Franky, get down!
878
00:43:41,660 --> 00:43:45,152
Oh, man!
This is like full comfortable, man.
879
00:43:45,163 --> 00:43:47,370
- Just sit down in your seat, mate.
- Take it easy.
880
00:43:47,415 --> 00:43:49,371
Why didn't youse tell me
there was a bed?
881
00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:51,617
I would have brought one of the chicks.
882
00:43:51,628 --> 00:43:53,619
So the bikies said all we have to do
883
00:43:53,630 --> 00:43:56,463
is drive the van up there
and drive it back?
884
00:43:56,466 --> 00:43:59,833
Well, don't fuckin' argue.
It means I get to see me mum.
885
00:43:59,845 --> 00:44:01,881
Anyway,
they give us a fridge full of piss.
886
00:44:01,888 --> 00:44:03,799
What more do ya fuckin' want, eh?
887
00:44:03,807 --> 00:44:06,048
Hey, what's this?
888
00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:09,643
Whose is these bags?
889
00:44:14,151 --> 00:44:16,733
BAZZA: Now, Shazza's
being a bit of a sly bugger here.
890
00:44:17,779 --> 00:44:20,771
The bikies usually run naughty stuff
up to the Territory
891
00:44:20,782 --> 00:44:22,773
in the back of
this old couple's caravan.
892
00:44:26,621 --> 00:44:29,363
But the old biddies
got busted the other week.
893
00:44:30,375 --> 00:44:33,993
Well, looks like opportunity
was knocking for everyone involved.
894
00:44:34,004 --> 00:44:37,121
Right, here's the keys to the van.
895
00:44:39,426 --> 00:44:41,462
The bikies, they needed a driver,
896
00:44:41,469 --> 00:44:43,505
and Shazza needed
a way to see her mum.
897
00:44:48,977 --> 00:44:53,721
Hey. Is all these, like, you know, drugs
in these bags and the guns up there,
898
00:44:53,773 --> 00:44:55,729
are they like complimentary as well?
899
00:44:55,775 --> 00:44:57,857
Oi! Just put the shit back, would ya!
900
00:44:57,861 --> 00:44:59,692
So these are not complimentary?
901
00:44:59,738 --> 00:45:02,229
- What, you mean we're mules?
- Did you make us mules?
902
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,980
- Hey?
- Shazza, ya sly bitch.
903
00:45:03,992 --> 00:45:05,482
Yeah, alright.
904
00:45:05,493 --> 00:45:08,075
So we're movin' shit for the bikies.
905
00:45:08,079 --> 00:45:10,195
If youse had come up
with some more cash,
906
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:12,539
I wouldn't have had to bullshit ya,
would I?
907
00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:14,373
You fuckin' lyin' slut, Shazza!
908
00:45:14,377 --> 00:45:17,244
I don't mind doin' the crime.
I just wanna know I'm doin' it.
909
00:45:17,255 --> 00:45:19,496
Oh, shit,
there's a booze bus comin' up!
910
00:45:22,093 --> 00:45:24,175
- Shit!
- Quick, hide that shit, man!
911
00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:28,638
Well, fuckin' hold this! I've got an
idea on my brain. Let me drive. Move.
912
00:45:28,642 --> 00:45:31,349
- Just take it. Just get in there.
- Fuck!
913
00:45:31,353 --> 00:45:33,639
- Switch mate, switch.
- Shit!
914
00:45:33,647 --> 00:45:38,607
Hey, hey, hey, look who it is.
The K-Mart fuckin' thong slapper.
915
00:45:38,610 --> 00:45:40,566
Fuckin' Falzoni.
916
00:45:40,570 --> 00:45:42,185
Let me handle it, man.
917
00:45:42,197 --> 00:45:43,687
Stop there!
918
00:45:43,740 --> 00:45:46,823
Stop fuckin' there! Stop here!
919
00:45:46,826 --> 00:45:48,441
Oh... oh, here?
920
00:45:48,453 --> 00:45:50,819
- Hey!
- Fuck!
921
00:45:50,830 --> 00:45:53,788
- Stop the fucking vehicle here!
- Just one minute. I need a sip.
922
00:45:53,792 --> 00:45:55,908
...arrest you, Falzoni!
(Tyres screech)
923
00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,126
What the fuck are you doin'?
Just fuckin' stop!
924
00:45:58,129 --> 00:46:00,996
- Stop the car, Falzoni! Here!
- There? OK.
925
00:46:01,007 --> 00:46:03,373
Fuckin' stop! Stop here!
926
00:46:03,385 --> 00:46:05,341
- Relax, mate!
- Get the fuck out!
927
00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:08,712
- I'm comin'.
- Get out the other fuckin' side now.
928
00:46:08,723 --> 00:46:11,214
BAZZA: You're probably wondering
what Franky's up to.
929
00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:15,094
Well, he may look stupid,
but he's always got a plan.
930
00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:17,972
Listen, meet me at the Macca's,
like, near on the freeway.
931
00:46:17,983 --> 00:46:20,565
I'll be there. Wait for me, alright?
I'll be there.
932
00:46:23,363 --> 00:46:25,979
Alright. Youse can arrest on me now.
933
00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:28,653
You're not getting away this time,
you little shitbag!
934
00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:30,150
Hey, look at this, mate!
935
00:46:30,161 --> 00:46:32,652
Franky wanted to create
so much shit with the coppers
936
00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:34,950
that they'd forget all about the van.
937
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,448
Tastes like bacon.
938
00:46:36,459 --> 00:46:38,575
Let's pepper-spray the prick!
939
00:46:39,838 --> 00:46:42,875
Doesn't work! 'Cause of
the sunnies, you dickheads!
940
00:46:42,882 --> 00:46:43,917
- (Grunts)
- Fuck!
941
00:46:43,925 --> 00:46:46,587
(All grunt and yell)
942
00:46:47,595 --> 00:46:49,460
Taser the little fuck!
943
00:46:53,059 --> 00:46:54,515
(Electrical sizzling)
944
00:46:54,519 --> 00:46:56,805
(Groans)
945
00:46:58,023 --> 00:47:01,015
(Yells)
946
00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:04,359
(All yell)
947
00:47:05,363 --> 00:47:07,194
Sucked in!
948
00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:13,948
The bourbon covered
the electric effect, mate!
949
00:47:13,955 --> 00:47:15,866
BAZZA: Franky's plan
worked like a charm.
950
00:47:15,874 --> 00:47:18,081
The coppers went apeshit after him.
951
00:47:18,084 --> 00:47:21,292
Oh, and the van full of naughty stuff
got away scot-free.
952
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:25,372
Don't go over the fence!
Cut him off at the park.
953
00:47:25,383 --> 00:47:27,089
I know what this little prick's like!
954
00:47:27,093 --> 00:47:31,052
Subs by: AuwAUw ^_^
955
00:47:36,436 --> 00:47:38,267
- He's gone there, Garry!
- Yep.
956
00:47:45,737 --> 00:47:48,695
(Rock music continues)
957
00:47:55,121 --> 00:47:58,329
Garry, I'm not jumping over another
fence. Just fuckin' kick it in.
958
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:01,412
- Jump the fucking fence.
- Just kick the fuckin' thing in, mate.
959
00:48:04,464 --> 00:48:07,080
- (Gasps)
- That's fuckin' him.
960
00:48:07,092 --> 00:48:08,548
(lmitates woman) Hello.
961
00:48:08,551 --> 00:48:11,509
Hey. Hey, hey, it's a fuckin' burqa.
962
00:48:11,513 --> 00:48:14,175
This case could go on forever
if we get this fuckin' wrong.
963
00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:17,345
Remember what they taught us?
Always be fuckin' sure.
964
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:20,719
Hey, hey, hey.
Look at the fuckin' thongs.
965
00:48:20,772 --> 00:48:23,479
- Huh?
- Look at those fuckin' bunions.
966
00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:25,599
- It's him, Gaz.
- Oh, it's him.
967
00:48:29,781 --> 00:48:31,362
Piss off, dickhead!
968
00:48:33,368 --> 00:48:34,949
Argh!
969
00:48:34,953 --> 00:48:37,444
GARRY: Come back here,
Falzoni, ya little fucker!
970
00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:39,203
I can't fuckin' chase anymore!
971
00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:41,163
Oh, for fuck's sake, try!
972
00:48:41,167 --> 00:48:44,079
I've got a massive stitch,
or I'm havin' a fuckin' heart attack.
973
00:48:44,087 --> 00:48:45,543
You know why?
974
00:48:45,547 --> 00:48:48,710
It's because of all the fuckin' chips
you stole off me, you fuckwit.
975
00:48:48,716 --> 00:48:50,206
Oh!
976
00:48:54,180 --> 00:48:56,296
(Siren wails in distance)
977
00:49:00,728 --> 00:49:02,639
ANGRY: This is the way
it's gonna go, boys.
978
00:49:02,647 --> 00:49:04,808
You go in with a shottie - boom, boom.
979
00:49:04,858 --> 00:49:06,314
You go in...
980
00:49:06,317 --> 00:49:08,933
(Laughter)
981
00:49:08,945 --> 00:49:13,945
You know, when that new batch
hits Alice, we're rolling in money.
982
00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:17,530
He went down like a sack of shit.
983
00:49:17,579 --> 00:49:20,992
And I just fully started stomping,
caving his head in.
984
00:49:20,999 --> 00:49:24,241
Caving his head in,
the stupid fuck!
985
00:49:24,252 --> 00:49:26,208
He doesn't even know who I am!
986
00:49:26,212 --> 00:49:28,248
Fuck you! Fuck you!
987
00:49:28,298 --> 00:49:29,788
(Snap!)
988
00:49:29,799 --> 00:49:31,585
Fuckin' training wheels.
989
00:49:31,593 --> 00:49:34,209
BAZZA: Now after losing
the booze bus cops,
990
00:49:34,220 --> 00:49:37,804
Franky knew he'd only have to worry
about the coppers on pushbikes.
991
00:49:37,807 --> 00:49:41,925
JOHNO: Argh! Some arsehole
stole my fuckin' bike!
992
00:49:41,936 --> 00:49:46,020
Yeah, and with Johno's bike,
he thought he could outrun them easy.
993
00:49:46,024 --> 00:49:50,267
But what Franky didn't know was
that the Sunnyvale Area Command
994
00:49:50,278 --> 00:49:53,270
had allocated a couple of
new vehicles to the block.
995
00:49:53,281 --> 00:49:55,772
Yep, brand-new spanking bikes.
996
00:49:55,783 --> 00:49:58,069
- (Sirens wail)
- Pull over! Pull over!
997
00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:15,091
Go round! Cut him off!
998
00:50:26,606 --> 00:50:28,187
Fuck off!
999
00:50:28,191 --> 00:50:30,477
(Laughs) Sucked in, mate!
1000
00:50:31,861 --> 00:50:34,147
- Falzoni!
- Run, boys!
1001
00:50:34,155 --> 00:50:35,941
Pull over!
1002
00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:39,774
Falzoni!
1003
00:50:39,786 --> 00:50:42,823
Subs by : AuwAuw ^_^
# HIP-HOP
1004
00:50:55,843 --> 00:50:58,630
What the fuck happened to me bike?
1005
00:51:02,475 --> 00:51:03,965
Mobile Two,
1006
00:51:03,977 --> 00:51:07,845
Falzoni's heading down towards
Ramsey Street on a blue chopper.
1007
00:51:07,855 --> 00:51:09,470
Intercept!
1008
00:51:21,703 --> 00:51:24,160
(Heavy metal plays on mobile phone)
1009
00:51:25,290 --> 00:51:27,576
- Pull over!
- Pick up!
1010
00:51:31,212 --> 00:51:32,952
Franky.
1011
00:51:32,964 --> 00:51:34,420
Crystal, put Kazza on!
1012
00:51:34,424 --> 00:51:37,837
(Slurs) Here, it's Franky for you.
1013
00:51:37,844 --> 00:51:41,553
KAZZA: - Yeah, Franky?
- I need ya to do something for me.
1014
00:51:45,810 --> 00:51:47,846
I'm comin' now!
1015
00:51:49,188 --> 00:51:51,224
Do it now!
1016
00:51:51,232 --> 00:51:54,065
Now! Now!
1017
00:51:54,068 --> 00:51:56,650
Do it now! Now!
1018
00:52:10,585 --> 00:52:13,372
(Grunts)
1019
00:52:13,379 --> 00:52:15,119
Argh!
1020
00:52:18,301 --> 00:52:22,294
That would have to be at least
12 demerit points, dickhead.
1021
00:52:22,305 --> 00:52:25,217
BAZZA: These two coppers have
been on pushbikes for years,
1022
00:52:25,224 --> 00:52:29,388
and the very first day they get road
bikes, they wrote one off completely
1023
00:52:29,395 --> 00:52:31,761
and the junkies stripped
the other one for parts.
1024
00:52:31,814 --> 00:52:35,181
- Yeah, suck this, copper!
- Fuck!
1025
00:52:35,193 --> 00:52:38,276
Hand in your badges now.
1026
00:52:38,279 --> 00:52:42,568
Well, those two got fired and they
had to work as security guards
1027
00:52:42,617 --> 00:52:43,902
somewhere in the bush.
1028
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:50,076
Hey!
(All cheer)
1029
00:52:51,125 --> 00:52:54,333
Stupid bikies, mate, sucked in!
Dickheads, mate. Dickheads.
1030
00:53:04,389 --> 00:53:05,799
DAZZA: Go, Kevin!
1031
00:53:05,807 --> 00:53:07,513
Have a go, Nessa!
1032
00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:11,135
I've never done it in a campervan
before. Fuck, it's romantic!
1033
00:53:11,145 --> 00:53:15,639
Hey, don't distract me with sex noises.
I'm a bit pissed and the road's blurry.
1034
00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,231
It's hard to concentrate, mate.
1035
00:53:17,235 --> 00:53:18,725
I'll be really quiet, eh?
1036
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:20,734
- I was talkin' to them, yeah?
(Nessa moans)
1037
00:53:20,780 --> 00:53:22,441
Fuckin' black magic, Kevin!
1038
00:53:22,448 --> 00:53:24,689
Goin' for another Baby Bonus, are youse?
1039
00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:26,737
Fuck yeah! Oh, yes!
1040
00:53:26,744 --> 00:53:28,530
Hey, hold this for a second.
1041
00:53:28,579 --> 00:53:32,913
You have to do the GPS, man,
'cause my hand's busy with the bottle.
1042
00:53:32,917 --> 00:53:34,748
I love computers.
1043
00:53:34,752 --> 00:53:38,210
Me mum said she only lives about
20 minutes away from the Rock, eh?
1044
00:53:38,214 --> 00:53:40,079
- Oh, right.
- (Moaning and grunting)
1045
00:53:40,133 --> 00:53:42,419
- I fuckin' love this campervan, Kevin!
- Whoo!
1046
00:53:42,427 --> 00:53:46,340
I put Ayers Rock in. It just says
go straight for three hours.
1047
00:53:46,347 --> 00:53:48,963
Three hours?
That doesn't sound right, babe.
1048
00:53:48,975 --> 00:53:50,761
It's what the computer says.
1049
00:53:50,768 --> 00:53:54,101
Thanks for makin' me look like a
dickhead in front of me mates again!
1050
00:53:54,105 --> 00:53:57,142
Fuckin' relax!
I was just askin', ya sook.
1051
00:53:57,150 --> 00:53:59,141
No need to be such a bitch about it!
1052
00:53:59,152 --> 00:54:02,064
To be fair, man, you can be
a bit of a sook, you know.
1053
00:54:02,071 --> 00:54:03,777
You do it!
1054
00:54:03,781 --> 00:54:05,646
NESSA: Oh yeah, Kevin! (Grunts)
1055
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:06,860
(Kevin moans)
1056
00:54:06,868 --> 00:54:08,859
I've never done it
in a campervan, Kevin!
1057
00:54:21,924 --> 00:54:23,880
It's not very impressive, eh?
1058
00:54:23,885 --> 00:54:28,885
Oh! Isn't it amazing?
It's so spiritual, hey?
1059
00:54:29,390 --> 00:54:33,850
Look mate, I hate to tease you in front
of your friends, but that's not it.
1060
00:54:33,895 --> 00:54:35,180
You're a fuckin' dickhead.
1061
00:54:35,188 --> 00:54:39,056
Oh, well what is it then,
the Taj Mahal, huh, from China?
1062
00:54:39,066 --> 00:54:41,728
Look, man. It's a servo.
1063
00:54:45,281 --> 00:54:46,942
Subs by : AuwAuw ^_^
Happy Watching...
1064
00:54:46,949 --> 00:54:49,941
- Err!
- See, it's hollow, isn't it?
1065
00:54:49,952 --> 00:54:52,534
Hollow like your fuckin' head!
1066
00:54:52,538 --> 00:54:56,872
BAZZA: So after a little bit of
confusion, they were on their way.
1067
00:54:56,876 --> 00:55:01,040
But in true Sunnyvale style,
all the temptations on the way
1068
00:55:01,047 --> 00:55:03,163
were very hard to resist.
1069
00:55:03,216 --> 00:55:05,673
Hey, let's all go to Nimbin!
1070
00:55:05,676 --> 00:55:07,462
(All cheer)
1071
00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:11,930
Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin!
1072
00:55:11,974 --> 00:55:14,260
Nimbin! Nimbin!
1073
00:55:19,315 --> 00:55:21,601
(Laughter)
1074
00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:25,477
Hey, hey, let's go to Ned Kelly's grave!
1075
00:55:25,488 --> 00:55:27,729
(Cheering)
1076
00:55:32,036 --> 00:55:33,901
Neddy!
1077
00:55:35,623 --> 00:55:40,623
(Wails) Oh, Ned! You're a legend!
1078
00:55:41,128 --> 00:55:42,959
Shazza!
1079
00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:47,173
- I gotta go see Bon Scott's grave.
- (Laughs)
1080
00:55:47,176 --> 00:55:48,712
Now!
1081
00:56:03,442 --> 00:56:05,979
Oh, they detoured bloody everywhere,
1082
00:56:05,987 --> 00:56:08,228
but finally they made it
to Alice Springs.
1083
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,777
Now, all they had to do was
drop off the bikies' gear
1084
00:56:11,784 --> 00:56:14,275
and it was time to see Shazza's mum.
1085
00:56:20,167 --> 00:56:21,998
SHAZZA: Hi!
1086
00:56:22,003 --> 00:56:24,369
Oi! Hello!
1087
00:56:25,381 --> 00:56:27,963
Hey, there's a note.
1088
00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:32,961
It says, like, um,
'Sorry for the inconveni... venience.
1089
00:56:32,972 --> 00:56:35,634
We are busy burying someone.
1090
00:56:35,641 --> 00:56:39,008
Be back later. The bickies.'
1091
00:56:39,020 --> 00:56:40,510
Bikies. Bikies.
1092
00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:45,561
(Pants) I love you, Kevin.
1093
00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:47,104
(Grunting and groaning)
1094
00:56:48,779 --> 00:56:52,192
Fuck, all that shit with the bikies
has given me a fuckin' headache.
1095
00:56:52,199 --> 00:56:54,064
Give us a fuckin' smoke.
1096
00:56:55,077 --> 00:56:58,615
- That's me last fuckin' one!
- Oh, fuckin' pull ya head in, dickhead.
1097
00:56:59,832 --> 00:57:02,869
- (Both grunt and groan)
- Blah!
1098
00:57:17,183 --> 00:57:19,014
(Sighs happily)
1099
00:57:29,987 --> 00:57:32,945
WOMAN: Who the fuck's that? (Coughs)
1100
00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:35,486
Mum, is that you?
1101
00:57:35,493 --> 00:57:37,905
It's me, Sharon!
1102
00:57:37,912 --> 00:57:41,746
Oh, come right in, love.
I'm out the back in the bedroom.
1103
00:57:41,749 --> 00:57:44,741
Say hi to your mum for me, alright?
We're gonna watch the van.
1104
00:57:44,752 --> 00:57:47,459
Yeah, you weren't invited anyway,
ya dickhead.
1105
00:57:47,463 --> 00:57:49,124
Carn, Ness.
1106
00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:06,725
Is that you, Sharon?
1107
00:58:07,775 --> 00:58:09,982
Yes, Mum. It's me.
1108
00:58:09,986 --> 00:58:11,476
Oh!
1109
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:15,271
Um, hi, I'm Vanessa, Shazza's mate.
1110
00:58:15,282 --> 00:58:18,991
I've got a great arse, don't ya think?
1111
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:22,612
Would ya fuck off, Nessa? Jesus!
1112
00:58:22,623 --> 00:58:27,333
Well, I'll just go watch TV.
Hope you got fuckin' Foxtel!
1113
00:58:31,882 --> 00:58:33,668
Thanks for coming, love.
1114
00:58:33,676 --> 00:58:35,507
Yeah, what's wrong with you, anyway?
1115
00:58:35,511 --> 00:58:40,511
Well, the doctors reckon it's the fags,
but they're fuckin' liars anyway.
1116
00:58:44,603 --> 00:58:49,603
- You haven't got one, have ya, love?
- Oh, um, nah, sorry.
1117
00:58:49,817 --> 00:58:51,808
I just smoked me last one, eh?
1118
00:58:51,861 --> 00:58:55,149
(Coughs, gags)
1119
00:58:57,700 --> 00:58:59,691
Oh, fuck me! Look at all these animals!
1120
00:58:59,702 --> 00:59:01,818
It's like Noah's Park. Have a look!
1121
00:59:01,829 --> 00:59:03,990
(Animals grunt)
1122
00:59:07,460 --> 00:59:09,371
Which one's got the biggest dick?
1123
00:59:10,379 --> 00:59:13,917
The kiwi. Oh! Nah. (Laughs)
1124
00:59:13,924 --> 00:59:15,505
(Lows)
1125
00:59:15,509 --> 00:59:19,593
Camels, mate. They look similar
to the Assassins, them. Look at 'em.
1126
00:59:19,597 --> 00:59:22,054
It does look like Abdul.
You gotta admit it, mate.
1127
00:59:22,099 --> 00:59:24,636
(Hisses)
(Hisses, all laugh)
1128
00:59:24,643 --> 00:59:26,508
You know what I hate?
1129
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,101
- I hate kangaroos, man.
- What?!
1130
00:59:28,105 --> 00:59:30,767
They think they're good.
They're on everything.
1131
00:59:30,816 --> 00:59:33,023
They're on like underpants
of Olympic swimmers,
1132
00:59:33,027 --> 00:59:35,689
they're like on like coins
and notes and this and that.
1133
00:59:35,738 --> 00:59:37,854
They're just wankers
of the animal world.
1134
00:59:37,865 --> 00:59:40,151
They're like heroes, man!
Like Ned Kelly.
1135
00:59:40,159 --> 00:59:43,697
Shazza, I got you here to apologise
1136
00:59:43,704 --> 00:59:46,821
to you, love, for leaving you
when you were three.
1137
00:59:46,832 --> 00:59:50,074
Yeah, well, it was pretty fuckin' fucked
in the face of ya.
1138
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:51,917
It wasn't my fault.
1139
00:59:51,921 --> 00:59:54,788
Your dad had gambling debts
coming out of his arse.
1140
00:59:54,799 --> 00:59:57,882
Oh, blame Dad.
He was always there for us.
1141
00:59:57,885 --> 01:00:02,299
It wasn't my fault! I had to create
18 fuckin' false identities
1142
01:00:02,306 --> 01:00:04,046
to pay off his debts.
1143
01:00:04,058 --> 01:00:06,049
Are you fuckin' serious?
1144
01:00:06,060 --> 01:00:08,972
The cops were after me.
I had to piss off.
1145
01:00:08,979 --> 01:00:13,939
Shit, Mum!
Why didn't you say something before?
1146
01:00:13,943 --> 01:00:15,979
Can ya forgive me?
1147
01:00:18,072 --> 01:00:21,906
Um, is it just me, or is there,
like, no fuckin' TV in here?
1148
01:00:21,909 --> 01:00:24,616
How can you live without a fuckin' TV?
1149
01:00:24,620 --> 01:00:26,986
Don't know why youse
are standing over there, mate.
1150
01:00:26,997 --> 01:00:29,238
- It stinks from them animals.
- Yeah, alright.
1151
01:00:29,250 --> 01:00:31,582
Hey, Kev, give us your phone.
1152
01:00:31,585 --> 01:00:33,792
- I want to show Franky that app we got.
- Oh, yeah!
1153
01:00:33,796 --> 01:00:36,287
- Check this out, man. It's a pussy.
- What do you mean?
1154
01:00:36,340 --> 01:00:39,958
Look at it, man. Get your finger and
rub the pussy and it's gonna come.
1155
01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,085
- On the screen?
- On the screen, man. Look, rub.
1156
01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:44,345
(Woman moans with pleasure, phone beeps)
1157
01:00:44,348 --> 01:00:46,384
- It's like a chick.
- Keep goin', keep goin'.
1158
01:00:46,392 --> 01:00:49,179
What, I go quicker? I get it now!
You do this and then...
1159
01:00:49,186 --> 01:00:50,722
I see. (Laughs)
1160
01:00:50,729 --> 01:00:52,890
- Hey, look at that!
- (Moaning intensifies)
1161
01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:55,352
(All laugh, woman yells with pleasure)
1162
01:00:55,359 --> 01:00:57,475
- (Woman screams)
- Dickhead, mate!
1163
01:00:57,486 --> 01:00:59,602
It's fucked on it. Here, take it.
1164
01:00:59,655 --> 01:01:01,111
- What?
- Not my fault!
1165
01:01:02,116 --> 01:01:03,947
- Hey! Mmm.
- (Bottle sloshes)
1166
01:01:03,951 --> 01:01:06,658
Watch me give these animals the shits,
fully.
1167
01:01:07,997 --> 01:01:10,079
(Both laugh)
1168
01:01:10,082 --> 01:01:12,118
Skippy, ya big poof, come here, mate.
1169
01:01:12,126 --> 01:01:13,912
- Go, Franky!
- Oh!
1170
01:01:13,919 --> 01:01:15,625
Watch this. (Laughs)
1171
01:01:15,629 --> 01:01:17,039
- Go, Skippy!
- Yeah!
1172
01:01:18,966 --> 01:01:22,083
Catch him! Catch him!
Dive on his tail!
1173
01:01:22,094 --> 01:01:24,961
We're so similar, you and me.
1174
01:01:24,972 --> 01:01:27,304
Fuckin' rortin' Centrelink
1175
01:01:27,308 --> 01:01:31,642
and fuckin' fucked up de factos
and you love ya smokes.
1176
01:01:31,645 --> 01:01:33,385
Do ya bong on, Mum?
1177
01:01:33,397 --> 01:01:38,397
Not now, but back in the days,
I loved a bucket bong.
1178
01:01:39,403 --> 01:01:42,145
Mum! (Laughs)
1179
01:01:42,156 --> 01:01:43,692
Ah, excuse me.
1180
01:01:43,741 --> 01:01:45,857
You know ya got nothin'
in ya fuckin' fridge?
1181
01:01:45,868 --> 01:01:47,699
- Go, Franky!
- Yeah, go, Franky!
1182
01:01:47,703 --> 01:01:49,318
Who am I, mate?
1183
01:01:49,330 --> 01:01:50,945
Who am I, ya big poof?
1184
01:01:50,956 --> 01:01:52,742
Franky's being an emu too!
1185
01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,536
(Both laugh)
(Shrieks at emu)
1186
01:01:54,543 --> 01:01:56,158
I can't tell the difference!
1187
01:01:56,170 --> 01:01:58,752
- Watch out he doesn't peck ya!
- Come on!
1188
01:01:58,756 --> 01:02:01,839
- Oh, he's cheesin' him up!
- I'll get ripped up.
1189
01:02:01,842 --> 01:02:04,208
- Hit it! Hit it!
- You want a go?
1190
01:02:04,220 --> 01:02:06,586
- You want a go, bird?!
- Smash him!
1191
01:02:06,597 --> 01:02:08,462
I swear, I hate these animals, man.
1192
01:02:08,474 --> 01:02:11,056
He's got a big bum, like my missus.
1193
01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:13,346
- (Laughter)
- You're right, Kev!
1194
01:02:13,354 --> 01:02:15,561
The emu's arse is
the same as your missus!
1195
01:02:17,149 --> 01:02:19,481
It's piss-boring in there, eh?
1196
01:02:19,485 --> 01:02:21,476
Well, get your big arse
down here, woman!
1197
01:02:21,487 --> 01:02:24,103
Franky's doin' some funny shit! (Laughs)
1198
01:02:24,114 --> 01:02:27,948
- (Emu shrieks)
- Should I go in? Alright, I'll go in.
1199
01:02:29,870 --> 01:02:33,283
Hey, I thought ya said
ya didn't have smokes, ya bitch.
1200
01:02:33,290 --> 01:02:36,703
Oh, come on, Mum.
It was me third-last one.
1201
01:02:36,710 --> 01:02:38,200
(Laughter in distance)
1202
01:02:38,212 --> 01:02:43,047
Oi! Would youse fuckin' shut up?!
I'm tryin' to talk to me fuckin' mum!
1203
01:02:43,050 --> 01:02:44,631
- (Laughter)
- (Yells)
1204
01:02:46,428 --> 01:02:48,009
- Pecked me on the dick!
- (Growls)
1205
01:02:48,055 --> 01:02:50,171
- You bastard!
- (Smash!)
1206
01:02:50,182 --> 01:02:51,718
It pecked him on the pecker!
1207
01:02:51,725 --> 01:02:53,966
(Laughter in distance)
1208
01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:57,936
You have it, Mum.
1209
01:02:57,940 --> 01:03:02,940
Shazza, I'm fuckin' proud of you.
You turned out real good.
1210
01:03:03,112 --> 01:03:04,727
Thanks, Mum.
1211
01:03:04,780 --> 01:03:07,192
Give it a lick, mate! Give it a lick!
That'll fix it!
1212
01:03:07,199 --> 01:03:09,815
- (Groans)
- Oh, now him too!
1213
01:03:09,827 --> 01:03:11,488
Let me film it. Let me film it.
1214
01:03:11,495 --> 01:03:14,862
Shaz, do me a favour.
1215
01:03:14,873 --> 01:03:19,537
When I'm gone, take me ashes
up on top of Ayers Rock
1216
01:03:19,545 --> 01:03:22,912
and scatter 'em all over the place.
1217
01:03:22,923 --> 01:03:25,130
I promise, Mum.
1218
01:03:25,175 --> 01:03:27,166
You're a good girl, Shaz.
1219
01:03:27,219 --> 01:03:29,335
(Coughs)
1220
01:03:30,347 --> 01:03:33,555
Mum! Mum, are you alright?
1221
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:35,720
(Coughs and groans)
1222
01:03:35,728 --> 01:03:39,516
(All laugh and chat)
1223
01:03:40,816 --> 01:03:42,397
Oi!
1224
01:03:42,401 --> 01:03:47,111
Oi! Me mum just fuckin' died!
1225
01:03:53,662 --> 01:03:56,404
(Nessa moans, thumping)
1226
01:03:56,457 --> 01:03:58,322
Oh, yes, Kevin! Give it to me!
1227
01:03:58,334 --> 01:03:59,995
Hey, Franky!
1228
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:02,744
That was a top idea selling
the fuel to pay for the cremation.
1229
01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:06,714
I am amazed at the ideas
that come on my brain, Dazza.
1230
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:10,293
BAZZA: Oh, the cheeky buggers.
1231
01:04:10,304 --> 01:04:13,637
They used the bikies' fuel card
to fill up that drum with petrol.
1232
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:17,383
Then they drove a half a kay up the road
and started undercutting the servo.
1233
01:04:18,937 --> 01:04:21,474
Oh, man! They made
a fair bit of money.
1234
01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:23,473
Would have made more
if it was high octane.
1235
01:04:23,484 --> 01:04:26,692
Yeah, I wish youse would
have got a bit more cash, but.
1236
01:04:26,737 --> 01:04:30,195
I feel fuckin' povo puttin'
Mum's ashes in her old ugg boot.
1237
01:04:30,199 --> 01:04:34,568
- It's all good, babe. Sheepskin.
- Oh, shut ya fuckin' trap!
1238
01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:36,781
That's fuckin' 100% Australian wool.
1239
01:05:02,147 --> 01:05:03,637
Whoo!
1240
01:05:11,990 --> 01:05:15,983
Excuse me, mate, is this the road
to the real Ayers Rock, or what?
1241
01:05:15,994 --> 01:05:18,280
Yes, this is the road
to the real Ayers Rock.
1242
01:05:18,288 --> 01:05:21,200
$25 entry fee per person.
1243
01:05:21,208 --> 01:05:24,871
What? You're not gonna tell us
we have to pay to get in here, are ya?
1244
01:05:24,878 --> 01:05:27,039
25 bucks?
Bro, what have you got in there?
1245
01:05:27,047 --> 01:05:29,288
Waterslides and, like, you know,
rides and shit?
1246
01:05:29,299 --> 01:05:31,540
What about if
we got our pension cards?
1247
01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:34,464
Not even 1,000 pension cards
will get you in.
1248
01:05:34,471 --> 01:05:39,135
Simply pay, or disappear
out of my life once and for all.
1249
01:05:39,143 --> 01:05:41,429
Mate, how dare you try and block us
1250
01:05:41,437 --> 01:05:43,803
like this is fuckin'
Facebook or some shit?!
1251
01:05:43,814 --> 01:05:46,681
We got a right to see that rock,
ya fuckin' cockhead.
1252
01:05:46,692 --> 01:05:49,183
Same as we got a right
to celebrate the Anzacs
1253
01:05:49,194 --> 01:05:51,310
for floggin' the Chinese back
in the day.
1254
01:05:51,321 --> 01:05:52,356
Subs by: AuwAuw ^_^
# FANFARE
1255
01:05:52,364 --> 01:05:53,979
We're Aussies, mate.
1256
01:05:53,991 --> 01:05:57,449
Ya gotta let us in, ya fuckin'
four-eyed knob jockey.
1257
01:05:57,453 --> 01:06:01,412
We have those fees so that
fuckin' four-eyed knob jockeys like me
1258
01:06:01,415 --> 01:06:04,999
can keep bogans like you from
coming in here and wrecking the place.
1259
01:06:05,002 --> 01:06:07,334
So buzz off.
1260
01:06:07,379 --> 01:06:11,497
BAZZA: Now, people in Sunnyvale might
be lazy and they might be bludgers.
1261
01:06:11,508 --> 01:06:15,842
But one thing about us - we're not
used to takin' no for an answer.
1262
01:06:15,846 --> 01:06:18,633
You don't wanna give
us permission? Stuff ya, then.
1263
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,255
We'll just break in.
1264
01:06:20,267 --> 01:06:23,304
(Laughs)
Mate, that wasn't even a challenge.
1265
01:06:23,312 --> 01:06:26,429
There was no barbed wire fence,
no security cameras.
1266
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,896
Pfft! (Laughs)
1267
01:06:34,114 --> 01:06:35,900
Look at this.
1268
01:06:37,242 --> 01:06:39,028
Is that a UFO, man?
1269
01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:43,991
- What?
- Where'd it go?
1270
01:06:43,999 --> 01:06:46,081
You're fuckin' seein' things, bro.
Let's go.
1271
01:06:46,084 --> 01:07:09,857
# THE FUNKOARS: Vamoose
1272
01:07:09,858 --> 01:07:12,019
We're not seriously climbing that?
1273
01:07:12,027 --> 01:07:15,519
It was me mum's dyin' wish.
Fuckin' come on.
1274
01:07:16,573 --> 01:07:19,861
No, fuck this, bro.
Do I look like a forklift to you?
1275
01:07:19,868 --> 01:07:22,200
I don't want to carry this shit
all the way up there.
1276
01:07:22,204 --> 01:07:24,661
Why don't we just do
the barbecue over here?
1277
01:07:24,665 --> 01:07:27,828
It can be the tribute to death
to the mother barbecue.
1278
01:07:37,135 --> 01:07:39,000
(All cheer)
1279
01:07:40,722 --> 01:07:42,428
(Sizzling)
1280
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:47,218
# HEAVY METAL
1281
01:08:09,418 --> 01:08:12,376
# KING TIDE: Chemical
1282
01:08:24,516 --> 01:08:26,427
(Tin rattles)
1283
01:08:39,197 --> 01:08:41,483
KYLIE, ON PHONE:
I love you. I love you a lot.
1284
01:08:41,491 --> 01:08:43,607
Kylie! (Echoes)
1285
01:08:43,660 --> 01:08:48,495
If you can hear me up there,
I fully miss you!
1286
01:08:48,540 --> 01:08:50,952
Kylie!
1287
01:09:01,094 --> 01:09:03,085
(Laughs)
1288
01:09:03,138 --> 01:09:05,003
(Grunting and groaning)
1289
01:09:05,057 --> 01:09:06,888
(Nessa yells)
1290
01:09:06,892 --> 01:09:11,386
That's it, boys. Give 'em an Ularoot,
Housos style. That's it.
1291
01:09:11,396 --> 01:09:13,387
Hey, hey, Franky! Check this out!
1292
01:09:13,398 --> 01:09:15,480
Where's the clown who
wouldn't let us in now?
1293
01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:16,940
I wish he could see youse!
1294
01:09:16,943 --> 01:09:18,934
Fancy that dickhead
sayin' they're tryin'
1295
01:09:18,945 --> 01:09:21,106
to keep people like us outta here.
1296
01:09:21,114 --> 01:09:22,604
What's wrong with us?
1297
01:09:22,616 --> 01:09:24,698
- Hey, Dazza!
- (Both hoot and holler)
1298
01:09:24,701 --> 01:09:26,191
What the fuck are you doing?
1299
01:09:26,203 --> 01:09:29,240
Hey, I'm gonna go for a climb.
I'll be back later. Hectic!
1300
01:09:29,247 --> 01:09:31,363
(Grunting and moaning)
1301
01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:33,206
Oh, give me Ayers Rock style, mate!
1302
01:09:33,210 --> 01:09:37,249
(Moaning and yelling)
1303
01:09:37,297 --> 01:09:40,255
# THE FUNKOARS: It's All Good
1304
01:09:59,277 --> 01:10:02,815
Hey, Shaz, do ya reckon I'd get wasted
if I snorted your mum's ashes?
1305
01:10:04,074 --> 01:10:06,656
You are deadset
fucked in the face, aren't ya?
1306
01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:09,652
(Siren wails)
1307
01:10:09,663 --> 01:10:12,075
Did you invite them to the orgy?
(Laughs)
1308
01:10:13,583 --> 01:10:15,995
BAZZA: Sometimes your luck
can go from good to bad
1309
01:10:16,002 --> 01:10:18,994
in the time it takes to fill out
your Centrelink forms.
1310
01:10:19,005 --> 01:10:20,916
Look who it is.
1311
01:10:20,924 --> 01:10:22,664
That's the two coppers who got fired,
1312
01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:25,839
and I think it's fair to say
they're still pretty shitty.
1313
01:10:25,846 --> 01:10:27,427
Fuckin' housos.
1314
01:10:36,398 --> 01:10:39,606
Ha. It's not one of my best ones,
1315
01:10:39,609 --> 01:10:42,146
but, I swear, who would have
thought tagging Ayers Rock
1316
01:10:42,154 --> 01:10:44,110
would be easier than tagging a train?
1317
01:10:44,114 --> 01:10:47,652
Sunnyvale for life, Australia!
1318
01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:49,942
Yeah!
1319
01:10:49,953 --> 01:10:54,242
# BROKEN ENGLISH:
Don't Go Getting Caught
1320
01:10:54,249 --> 01:10:56,786
(Swearing and shouting)
1321
01:10:56,793 --> 01:10:58,408
(Shouting)
1322
01:11:17,647 --> 01:11:21,686
In breaking news, the former
Mayor of Sunnyvale, Simon Abbott,
1323
01:11:21,735 --> 01:11:23,976
has been elected into
the Federal Parliament.
1324
01:11:23,987 --> 01:11:27,104
As the new Federal Minister
for National Monuments,
1325
01:11:27,115 --> 01:11:31,199
I would just like to say that
places like the Sydney Harbour Bridge
1326
01:11:31,203 --> 01:11:34,411
and the Opera House,
in fact, all our national monuments,
1327
01:11:34,414 --> 01:11:37,827
will be protected vigorously
by my ministry.
1328
01:11:37,834 --> 01:11:39,415
Thank you.
1329
01:11:39,419 --> 01:11:41,705
In national news, four people
have been arrested
1330
01:11:41,713 --> 01:11:44,045
for breaking into Uluru National Park.
1331
01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:48,338
Unconfirmed reports claim
they started fires and had an orgy.
1332
01:11:48,345 --> 01:11:50,882
- Bloody hell!
- That's Mum!
1333
01:11:50,889 --> 01:11:52,629
(Laughs)
1334
01:11:52,641 --> 01:11:54,927
(Shrieks abuse)
1335
01:11:54,935 --> 01:11:57,472
BIKIES: Whoo! Yeah!
1336
01:11:57,479 --> 01:11:59,344
(Shouting)
1337
01:11:59,356 --> 01:12:02,314
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
1338
01:12:02,317 --> 01:12:06,310
Apparently the group made
a barbecue, had sex, took drugs
1339
01:12:06,321 --> 01:12:10,860
and then defaced the rock
by covering this section in graffiti.
1340
01:12:10,867 --> 01:12:15,281
Yeah! Go, Sunnyvale!
Go, Sunnyvale! Yeah!
1341
01:12:15,288 --> 01:12:18,200
Shut up, you idiots!
1342
01:12:18,208 --> 01:12:22,668
Can't you see in the background -
the coppers have got our campervan.
1343
01:12:22,671 --> 01:12:26,380
(Screaming, yelling)
1344
01:12:27,467 --> 01:12:29,674
That's bloody disgusting!
1345
01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:31,384
Bloody outrageous!
1346
01:12:31,388 --> 01:12:34,130
NEWSREADER: The group are
not from the Northern Territory,
1347
01:12:34,140 --> 01:12:37,382
but from the notorious housing estate
known as The Block,
1348
01:12:37,394 --> 01:12:39,760
in Sunnyvale, New South Wales.
1349
01:12:39,771 --> 01:12:42,888
REPORTER: What's your
reaction to this arrest?
1350
01:12:42,899 --> 01:12:45,265
You guys, like, film everything
and that, eh,
1351
01:12:45,277 --> 01:12:48,565
and then like f... - it up on TV
and make us look like we're f... - ed, eh?
1352
01:12:48,613 --> 01:12:50,820
- We're not f... - ed.
- Yeah, we're not f... - ed.
1353
01:12:50,824 --> 01:12:53,816
- It's just a rock.
- Yeah, but, I mean...
1354
01:12:53,827 --> 01:12:55,738
I'm standing on a rock now.
1355
01:12:55,745 --> 01:12:58,202
- Have a look.
- Yeah, but it's not Ayers Rock.
1356
01:12:58,206 --> 01:13:00,037
What's your response to that?
1357
01:13:00,041 --> 01:13:05,041
Oh, what's your response to these
is a bit more like it, don't ya think?
1358
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:07,670
Simon, get in here!
1359
01:13:07,674 --> 01:13:09,380
Senator.
1360
01:13:09,384 --> 01:13:12,547
I hated those scumbags
when I was Mayor of Sunnyvale.
1361
01:13:12,554 --> 01:13:16,467
How dare they desecrate
one of our great national objects?
1362
01:13:17,601 --> 01:13:22,311
Simon, I want to be kept informed
of all the details regarding this case.
1363
01:13:30,196 --> 01:13:32,027
What do you reckon happened to Franky?
1364
01:13:32,032 --> 01:13:34,273
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a dingo ate him.
1365
01:13:34,284 --> 01:13:36,366
- (Both laugh)
- Shut the fuck up!
1366
01:13:36,369 --> 01:13:38,405
The judge is about to talk.
1367
01:13:38,413 --> 01:13:40,995
Miss Jones.
1368
01:13:40,999 --> 01:13:43,285
Mr Smith.
1369
01:13:43,293 --> 01:13:46,251
Mr... Takamatu?
1370
01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,038
And Miss Talawahoo.
1371
01:13:49,049 --> 01:13:52,416
Have you got anything to say
before I pass sentence?
1372
01:13:52,427 --> 01:13:53,917
Yeah.
1373
01:13:53,929 --> 01:13:56,045
Listen, Judge, matey, I do, alright?
1374
01:13:56,056 --> 01:14:00,174
All I was tryin' to do
was sprinkle me mum's ashes
1375
01:14:00,185 --> 01:14:03,894
what are in that ugg boot right there
on top of the rock.
1376
01:14:03,939 --> 01:14:08,808
Now, can you tell me, as an Australian,
how can that possibly be illegal?
1377
01:14:08,860 --> 01:14:10,316
You tell him, Sharon!
1378
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,311
Yeah, and, mate, it's un-Australian
1379
01:14:12,322 --> 01:14:16,611
for you to tell us that, on our
own rock, we can't have a barbecue.
1380
01:14:16,618 --> 01:14:18,950
It's a bloody Aussie tradition, mate.
1381
01:14:18,954 --> 01:14:21,195
- Fuckin' tell him, Shaz!
- Yeah.
1382
01:14:21,206 --> 01:14:23,788
Now, I don't know much
about the Northern Territory,
1383
01:14:23,792 --> 01:14:26,829
but I heard youse
aren't no soft cocks, eh?
1384
01:14:26,836 --> 01:14:30,294
And anyway,
even if what we done was illegal,
1385
01:14:30,340 --> 01:14:33,707
as a true-blue Aussie,
it wasn't wrong, mate.
1386
01:14:33,718 --> 01:14:36,425
Especially here in the Territory.
1387
01:14:36,429 --> 01:14:40,388
This place is the piss-sinking capital
of Australia,
1388
01:14:40,392 --> 01:14:44,556
and I, for one, fuckin' love it!
1389
01:14:44,562 --> 01:14:46,894
(Applause)
1390
01:14:49,484 --> 01:14:53,693
Miss Jones,
you know, you're bloody right.
1391
01:14:53,738 --> 01:14:57,481
In this part of Australia,
we still love a beer and a barbie.
1392
01:14:57,492 --> 01:14:59,824
(Whispers) And the occasional bong.
1393
01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:02,410
- Oh, what a cone-head!
- (Chuckling)
1394
01:15:02,455 --> 01:15:04,821
I'm gonna let youse off with a warnin'.
(Bangs gavel)
1395
01:15:04,833 --> 01:15:06,789
Case dismissed.
1396
01:15:06,793 --> 01:15:08,749
Bailiff, give 'em all a beer
on the way out.
1397
01:15:08,753 --> 01:15:10,209
Oh, yeah, bro!
1398
01:15:10,213 --> 01:15:13,376
So it's cool to sprinkle me mum's ashes
on the Rock, eh?
1399
01:15:13,383 --> 01:15:15,749
Don't push your luck, darlin'.
1400
01:15:17,429 --> 01:15:20,967
(All cheer)
1401
01:15:21,016 --> 01:15:22,426
SHAZZA: Freedom!
1402
01:15:22,434 --> 01:15:24,595
BAZZA: Oh, it was a close call,
that's for sure.
1403
01:15:26,771 --> 01:15:28,557
ABBOTT: Bloody outrageous!
1404
01:15:31,067 --> 01:15:33,399
So Shazza
got her mum's ashes back.
1405
01:15:33,403 --> 01:15:35,234
Oh, and how lucky's this?
1406
01:15:35,238 --> 01:15:39,402
They got the camper back, too,
without the coppers even searchin' it.
1407
01:15:46,833 --> 01:15:48,664
There's Franky, bro.
1408
01:15:48,668 --> 01:15:50,249
Oh-ho!
1409
01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:53,378
KEV: (Beeps horn) Franky, bro!
1410
01:16:02,432 --> 01:16:04,764
What the fuck's with the gear, Franky?
1411
01:16:04,768 --> 01:16:06,224
What have you been up to, eh?
1412
01:16:06,227 --> 01:16:08,843
What happened to ya?
You've been gone ages, mate.
1413
01:16:08,855 --> 01:16:10,595
Listen, I've gone through some shit.
1414
01:16:10,607 --> 01:16:12,643
And I do not want to talk about it,
please.
1415
01:16:12,650 --> 01:16:15,483
- You rob a Cash Converters, matey?
- I said don't ask!
1416
01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:18,069
Bro, you tryin' to start up
the Anzacs again, eh?
1417
01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:20,655
Why are you wearin' a seaweed salad
on your head, mate?
1418
01:16:20,658 --> 01:16:23,775
- You got hair like Nessa, eh?
- 'Eh, eh.' Fuckin' funny.
1419
01:16:23,787 --> 01:16:27,200
Oh, bro, Call of Duty called - they want
all their shit back. (Chuckles)
1420
01:16:27,207 --> 01:16:30,495
Yeah, New Zealand called, man
they want their sheep back.
1421
01:16:30,502 --> 01:16:32,743
Without skidmarks on the arse.
1422
01:16:32,754 --> 01:16:35,211
FRANKY: Could we just
piss off now, please?
1423
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:55,391
Angry, just got off the phone
to the Alice chapter.
1424
01:16:55,401 --> 01:16:57,733
The stuff's arrived, mate.
1425
01:16:57,779 --> 01:17:00,942
Well... thank fuck for that.
1426
01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:05,943
Make a note -
we don't use fuckin' housos again.
1427
01:17:07,122 --> 01:17:09,534
What's the go with Franky, mate?
1428
01:17:14,712 --> 01:17:18,296
Franky! Don't you wanna dump that
and get in here?
1429
01:17:18,299 --> 01:17:22,008
Dazza, mate,
just, like, give me my space, bro.
1430
01:17:22,053 --> 01:17:24,169
What the fuck happened
out in the bush, mate?
1431
01:17:24,180 --> 01:17:27,798
I'm dealing with some issues.
Just fuck off.
1432
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:34,263
What the fuck's up Franky's arse?
1433
01:17:34,274 --> 01:17:38,062
Oi, Daz.
Come sit down here with me, bub.
1434
01:17:38,069 --> 01:17:40,185
You know something, babe?
1435
01:17:40,196 --> 01:17:44,314
Even after all this shit
we went through, it all turned out OK.
1436
01:17:44,325 --> 01:17:46,862
Mum'll just have to
come live with us now.
1437
01:17:46,870 --> 01:17:48,701
You're so good, Shaz.
1438
01:17:48,705 --> 01:17:51,822
I really love you,
even when you're being a bitch.
1439
01:17:51,833 --> 01:17:54,074
I fuckin' love you too, Dazza.
1440
01:18:15,273 --> 01:18:19,141
Now, when they got back home,
everything sort of went back to normal.
1441
01:18:19,152 --> 01:18:21,313
Well, for a little while.
1442
01:18:22,405 --> 01:18:25,647
Kevin, I saw you staring
at the chick's arse on the TV!
1443
01:18:25,700 --> 01:18:27,190
Arghhh!
1444
01:18:27,202 --> 01:18:28,908
Oh, you bitch!
1445
01:18:28,912 --> 01:18:30,777
(Moaning, groaning)
1446
01:18:30,788 --> 01:18:33,325
(All moan and scream)
1447
01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:37,292
(All bark)
1448
01:18:40,131 --> 01:18:41,667
Where's the kids?
1449
01:18:41,674 --> 01:18:44,165
I dunno.
They're round here somewhere.
1450
01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:46,710
I can't hear the television!
1451
01:18:46,721 --> 01:18:49,633
God, it was bloody better
when you'd all pissed off!
1452
01:18:59,234 --> 01:19:01,896
What the fuck are you doin' in there?
Get out.
1453
01:19:01,903 --> 01:19:05,066
I found one, Shaz.
But no booze or smokes.
1454
01:19:05,073 --> 01:19:07,405
You know that cupboard's for potatoes.
1455
01:19:07,408 --> 01:19:10,445
Get outta there
before you hurt yourself, idiot!
1456
01:19:10,453 --> 01:19:13,490
Tonight on A Current Affairs,
the Minister for National Monuments
1457
01:19:13,539 --> 01:19:15,200
talks to us exclusively.
1458
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:17,119
Minister, good evening.
1459
01:19:17,126 --> 01:19:18,582
Hello, John.
1460
01:19:18,586 --> 01:19:20,577
Oh, not this fuckin' cockface!
1461
01:19:20,588 --> 01:19:22,670
Today you've announced
a Federal crackdown
1462
01:19:22,674 --> 01:19:25,040
on people
who disgrace national monuments.
1463
01:19:25,051 --> 01:19:26,916
Would you care to elaborate?
1464
01:19:26,928 --> 01:19:29,385
ABBOTT: Yes. As we saw recently,
there has been a wave
1465
01:19:29,389 --> 01:19:33,132
of what I would call anti-Australian
behaviour in the community.
1466
01:19:33,142 --> 01:19:36,976
Myself and the Prime Minister
agree it has to be stopped.
1467
01:19:36,980 --> 01:19:38,516
Shit, eh?
1468
01:19:40,108 --> 01:19:43,100
Hey, Shazza! There's a million cops
out on the street!
1469
01:19:43,111 --> 01:19:45,443
Some stupid mongrel's
about to get caned!
1470
01:19:45,446 --> 01:19:50,701
# HIP-HOP
1471
01:19:50,702 --> 01:19:53,535
PRESENTER: So what's
the government's response, Minister?
1472
01:19:53,579 --> 01:19:55,911
I've decided to use new Federal laws
1473
01:19:55,915 --> 01:20:00,915
to rearrest the maggots who showed
total disrespect to Uluru last week.
1474
01:20:03,965 --> 01:20:05,956
And I believe this is happening
as we speak.
1475
01:20:05,967 --> 01:20:10,256
Yes. These scum-bums
have to pay for their hideous crimes.
1476
01:20:10,263 --> 01:20:12,675
Especially the graffiti.
1477
01:20:12,682 --> 01:20:14,138
(Women squeal)
1478
01:20:14,142 --> 01:20:16,258
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
I can hear cops.
1479
01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,987
(Yelling, commotion)
1480
01:20:38,541 --> 01:20:39,747
Where's the sidecar?
1481
01:20:41,753 --> 01:20:46,543
Well, Tank... not a bad little machine.
1482
01:20:46,549 --> 01:20:49,461
Yeah, what goes around
comes around, mate.
1483
01:20:49,469 --> 01:20:52,927
# HEAVY METAL
1484
01:21:08,863 --> 01:21:10,979
They've just charged me with graffiti.
1485
01:21:10,990 --> 01:21:13,572
How did they even know I was there?
Who's dogged me, man?
1486
01:21:13,576 --> 01:21:15,191
Was it one of youse?
1487
01:21:15,203 --> 01:21:17,990
Franky, you can be such a tool.
1488
01:21:17,997 --> 01:21:20,488
Your ex-girlfriend Cheree dobbed you in.
1489
01:21:20,500 --> 01:21:22,536
She saw your graffiti on the TV.
1490
01:21:22,543 --> 01:21:26,161
Crime Stoppers?
Yep, I want to dob in Franky Falzoni.
1491
01:21:26,172 --> 01:21:28,128
Yeah, I saw some shit on TV.
1492
01:21:28,132 --> 01:21:30,464
He's me ex-de facto
and, definitely, he done it.
1493
01:21:30,468 --> 01:21:33,005
Well, let that be a lesson
to all of youse.
1494
01:21:33,012 --> 01:21:36,504
Pay your child support to ya missus,
no matter how many kids ya got.
1495
01:21:36,516 --> 01:21:40,054
I pay it to my missus,
and I haven't even got kids.
1496
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:44,596
- Senator.
- Prime Minister.
1497
01:21:44,607 --> 01:21:48,976
I saw the interview on A Current Affair.
Great work.
1498
01:21:48,986 --> 01:21:52,524
Our approval rating
is up five points today.
1499
01:21:52,573 --> 01:21:54,029
Thank you.
1500
01:21:54,033 --> 01:21:58,777
Hopefully, we can discourage bogans from
defacing our great national monuments.
1501
01:21:58,788 --> 01:22:03,788
Any popular policy
is a policy I fully support.
1502
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,541
Good-o.
1503
01:22:05,545 --> 01:22:08,207
BAZZA: Now, having the coppers after you
is one thing.
1504
01:22:08,256 --> 01:22:10,872
But having the whole
bloody Federal Government after you
1505
01:22:10,883 --> 01:22:12,589
is a different thing altogether.
1506
01:22:12,593 --> 01:22:14,709
You know you're up the creek
without a paddle.
1507
01:22:14,720 --> 01:22:17,553
Look, youse are all shittin' your pants
for nothin', I swear.
1508
01:22:17,557 --> 01:22:20,094
I've, like, fully 'organasised'
all the legal shit.
1509
01:22:20,101 --> 01:22:23,184
Yeah, well why don't you tell us
what the big fuckin' plan is, then?
1510
01:22:23,187 --> 01:22:25,929
If I tell ya, it's gonna jinx
the whole thing, alright?
1511
01:22:25,940 --> 01:22:30,274
So just, like, trust me.
We got a mad legal defence coming.
1512
01:22:41,038 --> 01:22:44,121
Sorry I'm late.
I was outside havin' a smoke.
1513
01:22:44,125 --> 01:22:48,243
Do you realise how far I have to walk
because you can't smoke in here?
1514
01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:50,336
It's a fuckin' mission, mate.
1515
01:22:50,339 --> 01:22:52,125
Franky, ya gotta be fuckin' kidding.
1516
01:22:52,133 --> 01:22:54,795
This fuckin' tic-tac
better not be our lawyer.
1517
01:22:54,802 --> 01:22:59,216
Oi! Ya wanna be a smart-arse,
I'll go home right now, ya slut!
1518
01:22:59,223 --> 01:23:01,509
Chillax, chillax, will youse?
1519
01:23:01,517 --> 01:23:02,802
Pause.
1520
01:23:02,810 --> 01:23:04,846
(Whispers) Just trust me, alright?
Trust me.
1521
01:23:04,896 --> 01:23:07,262
What are you thinkin', Franky,
with this Tiny Teddy?
1522
01:23:07,273 --> 01:23:08,888
He's not even a lawyer, mate.
1523
01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:12,688
Hey, he's small size.
That means we're gonna get mad sympathy.
1524
01:23:12,737 --> 01:23:14,602
Them judges are all political correct.
1525
01:23:14,655 --> 01:23:17,237
He's not gonna go against the disabled -
a real one.
1526
01:23:17,241 --> 01:23:18,822
What are you lookin' at?
1527
01:23:18,826 --> 01:23:21,488
It's an acquittal for sure, mate.
1528
01:23:21,537 --> 01:23:24,950
Alright, alright.
Let's begin proceedings.
1529
01:23:24,957 --> 01:23:26,697
I should like to start...
1530
01:23:28,044 --> 01:23:29,875
What-what are you doing?
1531
01:23:29,879 --> 01:23:32,211
What, no smoking?
1532
01:23:32,256 --> 01:23:35,498
And now you're gonna tell me
I can't drink?
1533
01:23:35,510 --> 01:23:37,922
What else are you gonna
fuckin' throw at me?
1534
01:23:37,929 --> 01:23:39,669
You are not allowed to...
1535
01:23:39,680 --> 01:23:41,966
Don't you fuckin' talk down to me, mate.
1536
01:23:41,974 --> 01:23:43,680
I shall hold you in contempt.
1537
01:23:43,684 --> 01:23:46,551
Do you know who I am?!
My brother's a bikie!
1538
01:23:46,562 --> 01:23:50,225
We'll find you
and we'll rip your head off, ya muppet.
1539
01:23:50,233 --> 01:23:54,727
Ya dirty fuckin' maggots!
Get ya fuckin' hands off me!
1540
01:23:54,779 --> 01:23:58,738
Get off me! Put me down!
Do you even know who the fuck I am?
1541
01:23:59,909 --> 01:24:02,116
Would the accused take off his hat?
1542
01:24:02,119 --> 01:24:04,030
Hey, I know the rules, mate.
1543
01:24:04,038 --> 01:24:07,030
Your CCTV can see my face,
so I don't need to take my hat off.
1544
01:24:07,041 --> 01:24:08,827
It's just like in a nightclub.
1545
01:24:08,834 --> 01:24:10,790
I told you to take off your hat.
1546
01:24:11,796 --> 01:24:16,796
Hey, how come he has to take off
his hat and you get to wear your wig?
1547
01:24:16,926 --> 01:24:18,382
That's a mad point, mate.
1548
01:24:18,386 --> 01:24:20,422
Don't you try and touch that hat,
dickheads.
1549
01:24:20,429 --> 01:24:22,886
(Chortles)
1550
01:24:22,890 --> 01:24:27,008
(Shouting, commotion)
1551
01:24:27,019 --> 01:24:29,260
- Simon.
- Senator.
1552
01:24:29,272 --> 01:24:32,639
Good work using the ASIO CCTV.
1553
01:24:32,692 --> 01:24:34,273
This is gold.
1554
01:24:34,277 --> 01:24:36,563
SIMON: My God.
1555
01:24:36,571 --> 01:24:38,436
Can you believe that people like this
1556
01:24:38,447 --> 01:24:40,779
actually share the same air
that we breathe?
1557
01:24:42,868 --> 01:24:46,531
Excuse me, bro.
Um, I'm feeling a little nervous. Um...
1558
01:24:46,581 --> 01:24:49,368
(Farts)
1559
01:24:49,375 --> 01:24:50,990
You, sir, are disgusting.
1560
01:24:51,002 --> 01:24:54,745
(All exclaim in disgust)
1561
01:24:54,755 --> 01:24:56,086
Oh!
1562
01:24:56,090 --> 01:24:58,422
There's a bit of Rotorua in that one!
(Chuckles)
1563
01:24:58,426 --> 01:25:02,965
Hey, Judge! You want me
to rip one from my awesome arse?
1564
01:25:02,972 --> 01:25:04,553
No, please, put that away.
1565
01:25:04,557 --> 01:25:07,094
Fuckin' shut up about your arse. Fuck!
1566
01:25:07,101 --> 01:25:08,591
I'll catch it.
1567
01:25:08,603 --> 01:25:11,515
That, sir, is disgusting.
1568
01:25:11,522 --> 01:25:13,137
Have him out. Out! Out!
1569
01:25:16,319 --> 01:25:19,026
Well, that was a bit rude
throwing me out like that.
1570
01:25:19,030 --> 01:25:22,238
We let them go all the time
in New Zealand courts. (Chuckles)
1571
01:25:22,241 --> 01:25:27,241
Hey, do youse reckon if I sip on
this dwarf juice, I'm gonna grow small?
1572
01:25:27,580 --> 01:25:29,366
(All laugh)
1573
01:25:30,958 --> 01:25:34,917
Now, you all might find yourselves
very amusing,
1574
01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:39,664
but you are facing
very serious Federal charges.
1575
01:25:41,135 --> 01:25:43,922
Illegal drug use,
1576
01:25:43,929 --> 01:25:46,420
illegal sexual activity
1577
01:25:46,432 --> 01:25:50,175
and defacing a national monument.
1578
01:25:50,186 --> 01:25:53,474
Matey, I'd like to sub myself in
as lawyer, please.
1579
01:25:53,481 --> 01:25:56,018
Refer to me as 'Your Honour'.
1580
01:25:56,025 --> 01:25:58,266
Refer to me
as 'Dazza with a big donger'.
1581
01:26:02,031 --> 01:26:03,942
Oh, don't be so rough!
1582
01:26:03,949 --> 01:26:08,067
It's what Ned Kelly would have done,
and he's a national sacred object!
1583
01:26:08,079 --> 01:26:09,615
Go, Ned Kelly!
1584
01:26:09,622 --> 01:26:11,908
Alright. Enough is enough.
1585
01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:16,916
I think it's time now that we brought in
some proper legal aid for you all.
1586
01:26:17,713 --> 01:26:19,203
Oh, fuck that!
1587
01:26:19,215 --> 01:26:21,627
The last legal aid I used
gave me a rash.
1588
01:26:21,634 --> 01:26:24,091
That was a marital aid, ya dickhead.
1589
01:26:24,095 --> 01:26:26,632
- What?
- Fuckin' chatty dildo.
1590
01:26:26,639 --> 01:26:27,674
Der.
1591
01:26:29,058 --> 01:26:30,844
Ohh...
1592
01:26:33,229 --> 01:26:34,810
Take her out too.
1593
01:26:34,814 --> 01:26:37,977
Oh, ya fuckin' dirty dog!
1594
01:26:37,983 --> 01:26:40,065
Fuckin' dog!
1595
01:26:40,069 --> 01:26:42,355
(Farts)
MEN: Ohh!
1596
01:26:42,363 --> 01:26:44,570
Oh, that's fuckin' chatty, Kevin!
1597
01:26:44,573 --> 01:26:47,110
Fuckin' chair vibrated. (Chuckles)
1598
01:26:47,118 --> 01:26:49,279
Wish I had Ned Kelly's helmet.
1599
01:26:50,579 --> 01:26:52,444
I wanna defend meself.
1600
01:26:52,498 --> 01:26:55,410
And me the same as her,
1601
01:26:55,459 --> 01:26:59,543
to sub myself in
as the lawyer for me on my own, to talk.
1602
01:26:59,547 --> 01:27:04,462
If you don't remove your hat,
I shall have it removed by force.
1603
01:27:04,468 --> 01:27:07,335
You could try, mate. But, look,
let's move on from that, mate.
1604
01:27:07,346 --> 01:27:08,927
What am I here for?
1605
01:27:08,931 --> 01:27:11,889
I'm in possession of my charges
that I'm here to defend myself on,
1606
01:27:11,934 --> 01:27:14,300
so let's just get to that bit
where I get into the thing
1607
01:27:14,311 --> 01:27:16,973
that's gonna, like,
just get me off the hook and that and...
1608
01:27:16,981 --> 01:27:19,097
- Oh, you sneaky prick!
- (Laughter)
1609
01:27:19,108 --> 01:27:22,441
I've just had
a bloody corker of an idea.
1610
01:27:22,445 --> 01:27:25,187
Let's leak this footage
to A Current Affair.
1611
01:27:25,197 --> 01:27:27,404
When the public see
these dirtbags in court,
1612
01:27:27,408 --> 01:27:30,741
I'm sure we'll rack up
a couple more approval points, hey?
1613
01:27:30,745 --> 01:27:32,281
That is perfect.
1614
01:27:32,288 --> 01:27:35,155
Look, I'll just organise it
with the press secretary right now.
1615
01:27:35,166 --> 01:27:37,498
Hey! Look, Judge, mate,
1616
01:27:37,501 --> 01:27:40,709
how about you let me have my say -
my say -
1617
01:27:40,713 --> 01:27:43,170
then if I can't prove
that I'm fully innocent,
1618
01:27:43,215 --> 01:27:44,955
I'll take off whatever you want, mate.
1619
01:27:44,967 --> 01:27:46,628
Hat, G-string, anything.
1620
01:27:46,635 --> 01:27:49,092
Yeah? Yeah, go.
1621
01:27:49,138 --> 01:27:51,003
You could use a hat, bro.
1622
01:27:51,056 --> 01:27:52,717
OK, your judgeness,
1623
01:27:52,725 --> 01:27:56,183
right now, I'm just gonna
skip on to a story I need to tell ya,
1624
01:27:56,187 --> 01:27:58,303
and this is gonna
get us off completely.
1625
01:27:58,314 --> 01:28:01,522
I'm warning you,
I'm starting to lose my patience.
1626
01:28:01,525 --> 01:28:03,732
Just hold on a minute, will ya,
and let me talk
1627
01:28:03,778 --> 01:28:05,939
'cause this bit's, like, full personal.
1628
01:28:05,946 --> 01:28:09,313
Like, what happened
was they got busted by security,
1629
01:28:09,325 --> 01:28:12,783
and I was, like, wandering, like, alone
like an idiot in the bush,
1630
01:28:12,787 --> 01:28:15,244
and these black guys,
like, I found them.
1631
01:28:16,248 --> 01:28:17,954
You know what they told me?
1632
01:28:17,958 --> 01:28:20,415
That, like, it's their rock,
they own it.
1633
01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:23,578
But, hey, who's rippin' 'em off?
Who's stoogin' 'em, mate?
1634
01:28:23,589 --> 01:28:24,874
The Government, mate.
1635
01:28:24,882 --> 01:28:28,716
The money that the Government's pinchin'
off them on the door fee to get in,
1636
01:28:28,719 --> 01:28:31,176
it doesn't even go to them, mate,
it goes to who knows.
1637
01:28:31,180 --> 01:28:32,795
That's a big rip-off, man.
1638
01:28:32,807 --> 01:28:34,798
Probably your wig tailor.
1639
01:28:34,809 --> 01:28:37,767
I've never owned a house.
I've only been in public housing.
1640
01:28:37,770 --> 01:28:40,182
But I think
that's a real fuckin' shit go, mate.
1641
01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:43,856
And then I've gone
for a piss in the bush.
1642
01:28:43,859 --> 01:28:45,690
And, like,
I got kinda lost at that point
1643
01:28:45,736 --> 01:28:48,569
'cause it was all dark and I'm wearin'
sunnies most of the time.
1644
01:28:48,572 --> 01:28:51,234
It's a bit stupid, I know,
but that's just how I roll.
1645
01:28:52,409 --> 01:28:56,823
In the middle of nowhere, man,
there was this army base.
1646
01:28:56,831 --> 01:28:58,947
So I thought I could
just, like, get in there
1647
01:28:58,958 --> 01:29:01,950
and just ask 'em
to bludge a lift back to somewhere.
1648
01:29:01,961 --> 01:29:03,952
Um, any chance
I could get a lift back to?
1649
01:29:03,963 --> 01:29:05,874
No, no, no, no! Take it easy!
1650
01:29:05,881 --> 01:29:07,417
And how's this, mate?
1651
01:29:07,424 --> 01:29:10,211
American soldiers
busted me in this place.
1652
01:29:10,261 --> 01:29:13,924
They told me
that the base was American land.
1653
01:29:13,931 --> 01:29:15,842
I don't care what youse got to say.
1654
01:29:15,850 --> 01:29:18,967
This is Australia, man.
It's not American soil.
1655
01:29:18,978 --> 01:29:23,267
If ya keep on bullshitting me,
I'm gonna lose it, mate! I'll thong ya.
1656
01:29:24,358 --> 01:29:25,848
Can ya believe this?
1657
01:29:25,860 --> 01:29:28,727
You know, on the one foot,
they charge you, like, an arm and a leg
1658
01:29:28,779 --> 01:29:30,394
to go in to see a rock,
1659
01:29:30,406 --> 01:29:32,397
and on the other foot, the Government,
1660
01:29:32,408 --> 01:29:35,024
they're givin' away, like,
our land from this country
1661
01:29:35,035 --> 01:29:37,151
to other countries for free!
1662
01:29:37,162 --> 01:29:39,744
You know, when I found out about this,
I went off the hook.
1663
01:29:42,251 --> 01:29:44,537
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
1664
01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:46,285
Oi, oi, oi!
1665
01:29:46,338 --> 01:29:50,001
Subs by: AuwAuw
# PUNK ROCK
1666
01:29:53,387 --> 01:29:54,968
(Gunfire)
1667
01:29:54,972 --> 01:29:57,179
- I'm not scared of bullets, you poofs!
- (Gunfire)
1668
01:29:57,182 --> 01:30:00,470
I come from a housing commission!
I'm not scared of STls!
1669
01:30:05,441 --> 01:30:08,478
(Engine stops)
1670
01:30:08,485 --> 01:30:12,103
(Silence)
1671
01:30:12,114 --> 01:30:13,695
What's going on?
1672
01:30:13,699 --> 01:30:16,190
And I know this bit's
gonna sound like bullshit,
1673
01:30:16,201 --> 01:30:19,910
but I swear on all the de facto kids
that I lost to DOCS, it's true.
1674
01:30:26,962 --> 01:30:28,873
Oh, no!
1675
01:30:28,881 --> 01:30:30,963
Ughh!
1676
01:30:30,966 --> 01:30:33,332
Oh! (Exclaims)
1677
01:30:44,063 --> 01:30:47,521
(Screams)
1678
01:30:47,524 --> 01:30:51,437
They done, like, you know,
a few, like, sick probes on me and that.
1679
01:30:51,445 --> 01:30:53,982
'Cause you wear
them fucking girlie shorts all the time.
1680
01:30:53,989 --> 01:30:55,945
What the fuck
is wrong with these shorts?
1681
01:30:56,951 --> 01:30:58,737
(Farting)
1682
01:30:58,744 --> 01:31:00,951
Arrgh! (Grunts)
1683
01:31:00,955 --> 01:31:03,788
Ahh, my arse!
1684
01:31:03,791 --> 01:31:06,624
Fuckin' paranormal activity
up my arse, mate.
1685
01:31:06,627 --> 01:31:08,208
Argh!
1686
01:31:15,844 --> 01:31:17,926
Oh...
1687
01:31:17,930 --> 01:31:21,639
Fuck, Franky, what fuckin' drugs
were you and them Abos smokin'?
1688
01:31:21,642 --> 01:31:25,009
That's full racist
and, look, hey, if there was some drugs
1689
01:31:25,020 --> 01:31:27,727
that might have been taken
at that thing, that's alleged.
1690
01:31:27,731 --> 01:31:29,562
- Mm...
- You know? It's not bullshit.
1691
01:31:29,566 --> 01:31:34,401
I mean, 'cause I've got that motorbike
and I got a pain on the arse.
1692
01:31:34,405 --> 01:31:36,612
(Screams)
1693
01:31:36,615 --> 01:31:38,571
I don't wanna know
about your fuckin' arse.
1694
01:31:38,617 --> 01:31:41,905
(Bangs gavel)
And how is any of this relevant?
1695
01:31:41,912 --> 01:31:45,245
That shit should not happen
to an Australian citizen, mate,
1696
01:31:45,249 --> 01:31:49,367
especially a disabled pensioner
like me, as classed by Centrelink.
1697
01:31:49,378 --> 01:31:51,835
I think you should
just go for acquittal now.
1698
01:31:51,839 --> 01:31:54,376
You could even, like, erase
a couple of fines for me, too.
1699
01:31:54,383 --> 01:31:55,919
That'd be mad.
1700
01:31:55,926 --> 01:31:57,757
All very interesting.
1701
01:31:58,804 --> 01:32:01,341
And now will you take your hat off?
1702
01:32:01,348 --> 01:32:05,387
After that whole story,
he's still on about the fuckin' hat.
1703
01:32:05,394 --> 01:32:07,635
You know what? Cop a thong, dickhead!
1704
01:32:07,646 --> 01:32:11,059
Why couldn't ya just leave it?! Fuck!
1705
01:32:11,066 --> 01:32:14,399
- (Laughter)
- Shh, shh, shh.
1706
01:32:15,779 --> 01:32:19,738
Hi. Is that the head editor
of A Current Affair?
1707
01:32:19,742 --> 01:32:21,482
How would you like footage
1708
01:32:21,535 --> 01:32:24,948
of a bogan throwing a thong
at a Supreme Court judge?
1709
01:32:29,334 --> 01:32:31,825
I'm surprised you lasted so long,
Franky.
1710
01:32:31,837 --> 01:32:33,418
Thong the judge, did ya?
1711
01:32:33,422 --> 01:32:36,710
I missed his stupid wig
by, like, only a bee's dick.
1712
01:32:38,635 --> 01:32:41,547
Can I talk
now them other dickheads are gone?
1713
01:32:45,768 --> 01:32:48,384
Are we guilty of breakin' in?
1714
01:32:48,395 --> 01:32:52,604
Yes. Why?
Well, 'cause we got no money, mate.
1715
01:32:52,608 --> 01:32:56,100
We got no money for fancy suits
and nice places to live.
1716
01:32:56,111 --> 01:32:58,773
I can't send my kids to a good school.
1717
01:32:58,781 --> 01:33:02,239
I can't even bury my parents
in a nice place.
1718
01:33:02,242 --> 01:33:06,611
And, yeah,
we might get smashed and do stupid shit,
1719
01:33:06,622 --> 01:33:10,365
and, well, you can make your laws
to stop us havin' fun,
1720
01:33:10,417 --> 01:33:14,160
but we're true-blue Aussies, mate,
and we ain't backin' down to anyone.
1721
01:33:14,171 --> 01:33:17,288
ALL: Go, Shazza!
1722
01:33:17,341 --> 01:33:19,923
(All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza!
1723
01:33:19,927 --> 01:33:24,921
We're like all the good Aussie heroes -
like the Anzacs in World War I I
1724
01:33:24,973 --> 01:33:28,215
and... and Phar Lap and fuckin' Brockie.
1725
01:33:28,227 --> 01:33:30,809
(All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza!
1726
01:33:30,813 --> 01:33:33,225
Anzacs in World War I I?
1727
01:33:33,232 --> 01:33:35,598
(Chortles) What a faux pas!
1728
01:33:35,609 --> 01:33:39,648
This is why I send my kids
to private schools.
1729
01:33:39,655 --> 01:33:42,317
Sunnyvale for life, mother-fuckers!
1730
01:33:42,324 --> 01:33:44,155
- Yeahhh!
- Fuckin' Sunnyvale!
1731
01:33:44,159 --> 01:33:49,159
So as a real representative of all
true-blue Aussies livin' in Australia,
1732
01:33:49,832 --> 01:33:52,869
I got a message to give to you
and your government.
1733
01:33:52,876 --> 01:33:55,242
(Sighs) Mm.
1734
01:33:55,295 --> 01:34:00,295
Go get fucked, you small-dicked
knob-jockey fuckwit wanker!
1735
01:34:02,719 --> 01:34:04,584
I rest my case.
1736
01:34:04,596 --> 01:34:06,507
# Waltzing Matilda
1737
01:34:07,516 --> 01:34:12,180
I think I went a bit far
calling the judge a fuckin' wanker, eh?
1738
01:34:12,187 --> 01:34:14,473
Ned Kelly'd be proud.
1739
01:34:14,481 --> 01:34:16,142
Yeah, fuckin' oath.
1740
01:34:17,693 --> 01:34:19,979
BAZZA: Well, the judge gave them all
ten years each
1741
01:34:19,987 --> 01:34:22,603
under the new national monument laws.
1742
01:34:22,614 --> 01:34:24,855
Pretty steep if you ask me.
1743
01:34:24,867 --> 01:34:27,074
And if you bet on
any of this coming good,
1744
01:34:27,077 --> 01:34:29,363
I tell ya,
it'd be a long shot for sure, mate.
1745
01:34:29,371 --> 01:34:31,703
Yeah, the housos looked truly rooted.
1746
01:34:31,707 --> 01:34:33,868
But it's funny how things turned out.
1747
01:34:33,876 --> 01:34:38,370
That night, A Current Affairs did play
the footage that the Senator leaked out.
1748
01:34:38,380 --> 01:34:41,793
Tonight on A Current Affairs,
the government department
1749
01:34:41,800 --> 01:34:43,836
that jailed these poor Aussie battlers
1750
01:34:43,844 --> 01:34:48,213
for trying to visit
our nation's national symbol, Uluru.
1751
01:34:48,223 --> 01:34:51,386
What?! That's not the story
we told them to show!
1752
01:34:51,393 --> 01:34:53,600
It seems that even tabloid TV
1753
01:34:53,604 --> 01:34:56,061
doesn't like the Government
tellin' them what to do.
1754
01:34:56,064 --> 01:35:01,064
So, Beryl, the Federal Police
have arrested your son and his de facto
1755
01:35:01,236 --> 01:35:02,942
for what exactly?
1756
01:35:02,946 --> 01:35:06,985
They were just trying to sprinkle
Sharon's mum's ashes at Ayers Rock.
1757
01:35:06,992 --> 01:35:08,482
What's wrong with that?
1758
01:35:08,493 --> 01:35:13,237
If you ask me, there's just too many
stupid bloody laws in this country.
1759
01:35:13,248 --> 01:35:16,786
Now, oh, it's almost
like a bushfire around Australia -
1760
01:35:16,793 --> 01:35:20,081
thousands of people were outraged
at the treatment of poor Shazza,
1761
01:35:20,088 --> 01:35:21,669
you know, and the others.
1762
01:35:21,673 --> 01:35:24,289
They rang the TV stations,
they got on Facebook,
1763
01:35:24,301 --> 01:35:26,542
they even emailed the Prime Minister.
1764
01:35:26,553 --> 01:35:31,092
Senator,
what the bloody hell did you do?
1765
01:35:31,099 --> 01:35:36,099
Our polls have dropped 85%
and I've received over 60,000 emails.
1766
01:35:37,105 --> 01:35:38,845
This is a disaster.
1767
01:35:38,857 --> 01:35:40,597
Prime Minister, can I just say...
1768
01:35:40,609 --> 01:35:42,975
No. Do not say another word.
1769
01:35:42,986 --> 01:35:45,728
Get Shazza Jones and her mates
out of jail
1770
01:35:45,781 --> 01:35:49,865
and make all of this drama go away.
1771
01:35:49,868 --> 01:35:52,530
Or I'm giving your seat
to Peter Garrett.
1772
01:35:52,579 --> 01:35:55,446
BAZZA: Oh, you wouldn't read about it.
Or you probably would.
1773
01:35:55,457 --> 01:35:57,322
The sentences were all cancelled,
1774
01:35:57,376 --> 01:35:59,458
DOCS gave all the kids back
1775
01:35:59,461 --> 01:36:03,204
and by the time they got home, there
was a huge block party waiting for 'em.
1776
01:36:10,097 --> 01:36:12,429
(Whooping, shouting)
1777
01:36:12,432 --> 01:36:14,593
I don't think his nappy's been changed.
1778
01:36:17,688 --> 01:36:19,144
(All cheer)
1779
01:36:19,147 --> 01:36:21,058
If this was any other suburb
in Australia,
1780
01:36:21,066 --> 01:36:23,478
this would have been
one of the bestest nights ever.
1781
01:36:23,485 --> 01:36:24,975
But not here.
1782
01:36:24,987 --> 01:36:27,353
# I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1783
01:36:27,364 --> 01:36:29,821
# I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1784
01:36:29,825 --> 01:36:32,441
# I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1785
01:36:32,452 --> 01:36:35,159
# I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1786
01:36:35,163 --> 01:36:37,575
# I'm on the block, yeah
I'm on the block, yeah
1787
01:36:37,582 --> 01:36:40,198
# I'm on the block
and I just won't stop, yeah
1788
01:36:40,210 --> 01:36:41,825
# I'm on the block... #
1789
01:36:41,837 --> 01:36:43,623
(All exclaim)
1790
01:36:43,630 --> 01:36:47,168
Where is the money
for the child of the support?
1791
01:36:47,175 --> 01:36:49,131
Big fuckin' hero on TV,
1792
01:36:49,136 --> 01:36:51,297
and you're too cheap
to pay for your own kid!
1793
01:36:51,305 --> 01:36:54,297
- Arghh!
- (Yelling, commotion)
1794
01:36:58,228 --> 01:37:02,562
(Sirens wail)
1795
01:37:08,071 --> 01:37:09,982
What are we fighting each other for?
1796
01:37:09,990 --> 01:37:13,027
- Let's fight the fuckin' pigs!
- (All cheer)
1797
01:37:13,035 --> 01:37:17,404
Alright, fellas, don't hold back
on these fuckin' scumbags!
1798
01:37:17,456 --> 01:37:20,539
(Yelling, commotion)
1799
01:37:39,019 --> 01:37:40,600
Well, that's it.
1800
01:37:40,604 --> 01:37:42,720
That's the whole bloody story
in a nutshell.
1801
01:37:42,773 --> 01:37:45,640
I'm goin' in there for a few beers,
couple of bets
1802
01:37:45,650 --> 01:37:48,437
and if I'm lucky,
might even pick up a root.
1803
01:37:48,445 --> 01:37:50,060
I'll pick up a root for sure.
1804
01:37:50,072 --> 01:37:52,529
I can drink a few of the girls
in the bar pretty.
1805
01:37:52,532 --> 01:37:54,773
Text me
next time you're here in Sunnyvale.
1806
01:37:56,161 --> 01:37:58,368
# It's all good
1807
01:37:58,413 --> 01:38:00,745
# It's very good
1808
01:38:00,749 --> 01:38:02,660
# It's all good
1809
01:38:02,667 --> 01:38:05,659
# It's all good #
MAN: It's very good, yes.
1810
01:38:05,670 --> 01:38:08,082
# It's all good
1811
01:38:08,090 --> 01:38:10,126
# It's very good
1812
01:38:10,133 --> 01:38:11,589
# It's all good
1813
01:38:12,594 --> 01:38:14,084
# It's all good
1814
01:38:15,097 --> 01:38:17,338
# It's all good... #
1815
01:38:28,568 --> 01:38:30,604
I told ya we'd beat 'em, Shaz.
1816
01:38:30,612 --> 01:38:32,193
Yeah, it was pretty grouse
1817
01:38:32,197 --> 01:38:34,984
of that Senator cockface
to let us come up here, eh?
1818
01:38:34,991 --> 01:38:38,654
Oh, it's a long bloody climb
and the view's not even that good.
1819
01:38:38,662 --> 01:38:41,119
I'd rather be at home on the couch
with a bong.
1820
01:38:41,123 --> 01:38:42,988
(Guffaws) You carrying?
1821
01:38:47,587 --> 01:38:49,452
- Is she alright?
- Yeah.
1822
01:38:49,464 --> 01:38:52,376
Alright, Mum. It's time to set you free.
1823
01:38:59,266 --> 01:39:04,266
Mum, goodbye... and I love you.
1824
01:39:07,899 --> 01:39:11,357
(Sniffs) Oh!
1825
01:39:11,361 --> 01:39:16,361
I know she's your mum, Shaz, but,
fuck, she's givin' me mad head spins!
1826
01:39:16,408 --> 01:39:20,000
You really are fucked in the face,
aren't ya?
1827
01:39:28,900 --> 01:39:31,360
So, your reaction to her actually
getting arrested, then?
1828
01:39:32,300 --> 01:39:33,200
It's racist.
1829
01:39:35,188 --> 01:39:37,200
But you say it's racist,
but then at the same time,
1830
01:39:37,202 --> 01:39:39,000
she seems to have had
no respect
1831
01:39:39,200 --> 01:39:41,335
for the culture of the Aborigines.
1832
01:39:42,350 --> 01:39:43,000
I don't know, man.
1833
01:39:43,001 --> 01:39:44,472
You're hurting my head.
You're hurting my head.
1834
01:39:44,474 --> 01:39:47,200
Who is this bloke? Who is he?
Who does he think he is?
1835
01:39:47,600 --> 01:39:51,800
We are angry because in the
beginning we was expect the money
1836
01:39:52,000 --> 01:39:53,820
for the child support,
and I was...
1837
01:39:54,300 --> 01:39:55,850
I was ask for Frankily, like,
1838
01:39:57,500 --> 01:39:58,980
10,000 times for the money,
1839
01:39:59,500 --> 01:40:01,007
'cause of, you know, for the baby.
1840
01:40:01,655 --> 01:40:02,950
'Cause he put the sperm on the stomach
1841
01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:05,850
so he's supposed to give
the money in the bank, huh?
1842
01:40:06,000 --> 01:40:08,200
I'm part of, like, the
Sunnyvale Assassins, alright?
1843
01:40:08,500 --> 01:40:09,300
The Sunnyvale Assassins?
1844
01:40:09,700 --> 01:40:11,650
Yeah, like, it says it right here.
Like Sunnyvale...
1845
01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:15,300
You've spelled it 'arse'.
I'm not sure that you spelled that...
1846
01:40:15,302 --> 01:40:17,600
- What do you mean?
- 'Arsass'...
1847
01:40:18,200 --> 01:40:19,200
'Assassins'...
1848
01:40:19,500 --> 01:40:20,950
Yeah, but it's spelt incorrectly.
1849
01:40:20,960 --> 01:40:21,699
- Is it?
- Yeah.
1850
01:40:21,700 --> 01:40:22,600
Is it?
1851
01:40:23,455 --> 01:40:25,950
I told you, like,
get a spellcheck, idiot.
1852
01:40:26,150 --> 01:40:28,650
Fuck I'm dumb, bro.
What, I'm not educated.
1853
01:40:29,200 --> 01:40:31,250
I'm due for, like,
my three o'clock root.
1854
01:40:31,300 --> 01:40:32,800
Well, I don't know but...
1855
01:40:32,820 --> 01:40:35,420
You know, these tits don't
touch themselves, you know?
1856
01:40:36,100 --> 01:40:38,650
- Um... no, they don't.
- They don't.
1857
01:40:39,000 --> 01:40:40,300
No. I mean...
1858
01:41:54,250 --> 01:41:55,550
(Gunshots)
1859
01:41:56,267 --> 01:41:58,540
# 'Cause we're housos, housos, housos
1860
01:41:58,600 --> 01:42:00,650
# Housos, housos, housos
1861
01:42:01,250 --> 01:42:03,188
# Housos, housos, housos. #
1862
01:42:04,050 --> 01:42:06,244
SHAZZA: Neighbours?
Getting to be good friends?
1863
01:42:06,600 --> 01:42:08,355
Yeah, fuckin' come down
to Sunnyvale, mate.
1864
01:42:08,699 --> 01:42:10,255
(Gunshot, sirens wail)
1865
01:42:10,256 --> 01:42:11,256
Subs by: AuwAUw ^_^
Don't change all of this subtitle without permission
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