All language subtitles for Danielle.Laidley.Two.Tribes.2023.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

And here comes North Melbourne.

The Grand Final.
North Melbourne and Sydney Swans.

He'll look down towards Lockett territory.
Here he is.

Couldn't take it.

Dean Laidley. So courageous.

I'm very proud of
the first phase of my life.

- There it is!

North are champions!

I wouldn't
change it for the world.

Might have done it
a little bit differently

at certain stages along the way.

...free on bail.

But Dean Laidley isn't going home.
He's going to rehab.

...53-year-old
was at rock bottom.

Now that I'm here,

I can tell my story in my own words.

I think there's
a real psychological battle

going on at the moment.

You know,
it's going to be slowly, slowly,

one foot in front of the other.

Which path do you take?

Which way do you go?

But I'm proud of who I am
and who I'm becoming.

I got a phone call
the night that it had happened,

sort of saying, you know,
"Your dad's been arrested.

These are the circumstances.

So, sort of bunker down and get ready."

I was sitting
at home on the couch.

It was all over the news.
It was everywhere.

My phone was going flat out
with text messages, phone calls.

I actually wanted to digest
what was happening at the time.

To be honest,
it sort of wasn't a shock

that it was going to happen,

'cause the way that it was going,
it was going to end badly.

Former North Melbourne
player and coach, Dean Laidley,

is in custody
after being arrested last night.

Charged with stalking
and other offences,

now he's in a holding cell.

Laidley has also been
charged with drug possession

after ice was allegedly found
stashed inside his bra

when he was arrested.

He's been remanded
until the 11th of May.

I had no idea where she was,

and then I started, like, Googling it,

and I was like, "Okay, like,
what's going on?"

Next thing I know,

there's like a million reporters
buzzing up the apartment.

A leaked photo
of the 53-year-old

dressed in women's clothing

and a makeup-smeared mugshot
have gone viral.

Two photographs showing
Ms. Laidley in a wig and makeup

were published on social media,

effectively outing her as transgender.

That's a pretty big secret to have...
hidden from the world

for such a long period of time

for someone who has had
such a high-profile playing career,

and then coaching career.

Everyone in the industry
is completely shocked.

You've got to separate
the two stories here.

One is that he's facing
some very serious charges,

including stalking.

The other one is his
gross invasion of privacy

and almost a human rights violation.

It's terrible to look at
what she went through,

but it's also extraordinary to think
that she survived for so long

in what is a pretty cut and thrust world.

Highly competitive, pretty brutal,

with all these internal
struggles going on.

To actually hear that
Dani was doing drugs,

and then that to come out
that she was doing ice

was a real, real surprise.

I would have thought that's one person
that would never, ever engage in drugs.

It was confronting.

It's definitely...

yeah, hard to see your parent, you know,
in such a vulnerable position.

Obviously, they look after you
for your whole life,

and then all of a sudden
the script's flipped.

Yeah.

I, o-obviously,
I want the truth to be out there

of my life and the ups and downs.

I don't... I don't want to hide anything

because my life, I've had to hide
in sort of different ways

and have compartmentalised life.

Now that I'm here,

learning to deal with

and having to rebuild my person,

it's going to be slowly, slowly,

one foot in front of the other.

And, you know, I can tell my story
in my own words,

but it must revolve around
me just being me.

Nothing more, nothing less.

It was from very young, these feelings.

I never pushed it away.

So, the only thing I could do and did do

through the early stages of my life

is walk side-by-side with it.

- ]

This is going
back to our first house

in Kilmurray Way, in Balga.

Tell me about it.
It's all about the bright colours.

It is.

But I find
whenever I do the washing,

it just chips it off.

All I can remember is
this lady who was really done up

and painting her nails.

Dude, can someone invent
a non-chip nail polish, please.

- Yeah.
- Straight away.

And then I,
then I stopped even filing my nails.

And the nail polish
was left on the table.

All of a sudden, I go...

and, doesn't come off.

Try to put some water on it. No.

And I'm thinking, "Oh my God,
I'm going to get caught!"

Like, I've stolen this nail polish.

And then sort of got, you know,
some rocks and some sand,

and eventually got it off.

Well, what I thought was off.

So then I ran outside.

We had this big pampas grass,

and I've lobbed the nail polish
into the pampas grass,

never to be seen again.

What this attraction was, I did not know,

but I knew the sense of feeling

that I was getting from them.

And that was hard to process it so young.

If you grew up
in the '70s and '80s,

as Dani and I did in Perth,

it was AFL football in winter
and cricket in the summer,

and Dani was exceptional at both of them.

Exceptional!

If I'd have had her ability
as a cricketer and a footballer,

together with the blonde hair
and, you know, all of that,

you couldn't have written
a script any better.

At the time, play footy and cricket
as well as you can

and have lots of mates
and live happily ever after.

But that was a million miles away
from where Dani was.

When we were in high school

and we were dating,

I'd planned to go to Danielle's house
straight from netball training,

but Danielle was always
so busy doing homework.

But now I found out she wasn't doing
homework, she was just avoiding

and experimenting with, you know, some
makeup and hair and things like that.

So I always felt a bit rejected by Dani,

but now I know that was her way
of having her own little world.

So, I honestly can say I never really knew
who this person was until now.

The real person.

Looking back now,

how depressed and how much anxiety
that I had in my early teenage years,

the thing that saved me and kept me sane

was my football career.

There was accolades on accolades,

and you build that reputation,

and all of a sudden,
it went really quickly.

Laidley, liked his game too...

As a 15-year-old,
State Schoolboys,

to 18 months later playing
senior football at West Perth.

Laidley's kick is a mighty kick

from the boot of Dean Laidley,

a tremendous kick
from just inside the 50-metre line.

This is Laidley.

A standing shot at goal is a beauty.

I played for
West Australian senior team

against Victoria and South Australia.

And I was 18 at that point.

And then the Eagles came along.

Start of this game
here at Subiaco Oval.

Goes over the top. Laidley.

Laidley runs it up to centre wing,
one bounce and a second.

Now he settles.

Kicks towards half forward,
intended for Lewis...

Suddenly,
I'm on this huge stage,

playing the most popular sport
in the country.

They got crowds of over 100,000.

Laidley.
Is it Laidley on half back?

Australian Rules Football, AFL, is
Australia's Indigenous code.

Contact sport.

It's sort of like the NFL,
but in Australia.

Here he goes again.

Ooh!

Into the back, for that left eye.

I was part of
the old Victorian Football League,

but for that to expand,
it needed to go national.

So, it involved sides coming
from Western Australia,

South Australia, et cetera, et cetera.

The transition then was massive
for players and supporters,

for the money involved in the game.

Different players coming
from different clubs

to make up your club.

It was very exciting.

You know, a new team
out of Western Australia,

and, was lucky enough to be picked as

one of the first 35 in the initial squad
and played in their first game.

Straightens up onto the left foot.

Hooks it across.

- Laidley!

An excellent mark by Dean Laidley.

It was like just
so much happened

in my football career,

but also getting married, you know,
having children,

and building your own family,

which I really pined for,

because we didn't get that

when I was, you know, younger.

Football, it allowed us
to buy a house straight away

and build a great little
family environment.

This was my eldest daughter's
first family home.

And then a few years after that,
Kane came along.

Smile.

Seven years later,
our third child was born.

Our second daughter.

There was one golden rule with it all,

which stood above the rest was,

I would make sure that

they are set in their lives.

That they've had opportunities.

Come hell or high water,

I was going to make sure
my family had everything.

If that was at a cost to me,

so be it.

In the spotlight,
but out of view,

Dean Laidley was rushed to rehab
after being released from jail.

Mr. Laidley was
granted bail on the condition

he enter a secure treatment facility.

His son picked him up from prison
to take him there.

There were times where
Dad was being quite difficult

in terms of rehab and time frames,

and it sort of got to a point
where Dad was like,

"You know, I'm not doing it.
No, I'm not doing it.

I've had enough."

There was one day where,
yeah, I just snapped.

"All the decisions that you've made
of late have not been good ones,

so you've kind of forfeited the right
to make your own,

so I'm going to be making them for you."

It would have been the next day.

Got a call back from Dad, and...

and she was like, you know,

"Let's get it sorted. I trust you."

My experience is
when we're not doing well in life

or when we are feeling vulnerable,

we can seek relief
through a number of ways.

One of them is getting high. You know.

And one of them is just doing
what we're good at.

And Dani is a good coach,

and, yes, she would do that in the rehab.

She was a nightmare sometimes
because I'd come in,

and she'd have a clipboard out
and she'd be organising everyone.

And then she'd pull me into the office

and tell me what was wrong with
the way we were structuring things,

and give me new management ideas.

I put up with it a few times,

and then, after a while, I sat her down

and I said, "Dani, I don't need
to teach you to coach."

"Let's actually do the work
that we need to do,

which is you understanding why
you're unhappy all the time."

From the press, I knew
that she had been

bailed to a rehabilitation centre,

but I didn't hear from Danielle

until she had done, I think, 20 weeks.

She sent me a great, big,
beautiful text message

and telling me that she was
a transgender woman,

and now she's Danielle May.

I was like, "Yeah."

"That's okay. Like,
I'm not worried about that."

"I was just more worried
about you," you know?

So then we spoke on the phone for hours,

and I just said, "I've always
loved you and always will.

I just want you to be well."

Yeah.

But it was never an issue that
she was Danielle May.

So, is that one the one that
went down the bottom? Yeah?

The... at the back?

Um...

Hang on.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah,
I'm pretty nervous, actually.

I don't know how my mum's going to be.

Um, you know, we've Face-Timed
and all that sort of stuff

and, you know, she's elderly now

and, you know,
she's struggling to remember.

Um...

And that's really... It's frustrating her.

But anyway... ooh, I'd better put this on.

Um, it's quite difficult.

Um...

Telling family or friends
something like this

is a life-changing situation.

It ended up blowing up publicly

before we had a chance
to even start to navigate,

"What does this look like?"

I only can imagine the shame,

the embarrassment,

that they felt.

Leif.

Come in.

How are you, darl'?

- Oh, it's good...

Oh, it's to see you.

Have you got taller or am I shrinking?

No, look, I've got heels on.
Yeah, but you're probably shrinking.

Yeah, but I've been shrinking.
I'm sure I'm shrinking.

You're looking good.

You're really looking good.

Um...

Oh, yeah. Hello.

Yeah.

- Yeah.

This is the greatest
opportunity I've had

to ever have a relationship

with a sibling that wasn't
a crash-hot brother,

but is a crash-hot sister.

Blood's blood.

You know? And you can't change that.

Paul and I are going to
go down to Pinnaroo from here.

Oh, that's lovely.

Something for you two boys to do, so...

But can you just rewind that?
What did you say?

I said, "Something that you boys can do."

- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

It is a bit hard for me, darl',
at the minute.

Yes, I know. That's okay.

I have to coach Mum a bit
and get her to understand

that Dani just wants to be identified
as the person that she is.

Come on,
I'm just so happy to see you.

Oh, I am. I am.

I just feel washed out.

You know? It's been, um...

been quite a big week.

Some days, it feels like it's
just getting way too hard.

You know, all this is because of me.

In regard to being arrested,

I take the full responsibility for that.

But anything after that
has had nothing to do with me.

Victoria Police has suspended
a senior constable

for leaking photos
of Dean Laidley in custody.

I want to be absolutely clear,

I'm appalled that
an employee of Victoria Police

has taken these photographs.

So this is about
eight o'clock on a Saturday night.

Go through the side door
at the St Kilda Police Station,

and I'm confronted with, I don't know,

a dozen police?

Just sort of basically
standing in a semicircle,

a little laughing and giggling going on.

I just felt like an animal in the zoo.

The first thing is, stop, mug shots.

And then I go into the interview room,

and that's when the particular officer,

who wasn't even
a staff member at St Kilda,

was the one... he took the photo

which was posted on the front page.

Very disappointing.

You know, Victoria Police,
as an organisation,

you trust they're going to do
everything they can to protect you.

But, yeah, the trust is...
is definitely broken there.

A lot of my friends and family
knew that I'd been close with Danielle

over quite a period of time,

and they were sending me
that terrible photo

that was taken by the St Kilda Police.

So I got that sent to my phone
before it was even in the paper,

and I just lied to everybody

and said, "Oh, yes, I do.
I do know what's happened.

And it's, there's more to this story,

and I'm not in a place to tell you

'cause Danielle swore me to secrecy."

I didn't think I'd get emotional
about that.

That's just, um...

my way to protect Dani,

'cause I knew how low, um...

she was, and, oh, and those photos,

I knew would be really, really damaging.

Once it all blew up publicly,

the main driver in connecting with people
I play with and people I coach,

particularly at North Melbourne
and at West Coast,

was introducing myself to them.

Not the one that was in the paper.

Should have got
a bit closer to the beach.

How are you?

- Good to see you. How you been?
- Yeah, good.

- Been a long time, mate.
- Yeah!

All right. We'll get down to it.

- Oh, yeah.
- C'mon, outside.

How are you, Laidley? How are you?

- All right.
- Good?

Have you shrunk?

- Well, I've got heels on.

Hey, guys.

- Laids.
- Hey, Spide'.

- How ya going, mate?
- Spide'.

Good to see ya.

I forgot how big you were,
how tall you were.

Any stress or...
then the gender stuff,

and it would, like, raise its head

and you'd have to deal with it,

um,

I would stick my head into my career.

Just sat with my counsellor/psych one day

and it just came out.

And it was like, "Oh, fuck!"

Yeah. Got diagnosed with gender dysphoria,

which... um,

I've carried forever.

As long as I can remember, you know?

What was going through your mind when,

A, you started assistant coaching,

and then B, when you...

Did you go for the North job
or did someone...?

No, I did. I...

Why did I go into coaching?

'Cause, look, in essence, I love footy,

I, I still do.

But it was just juggling it
all the way through.

And...

I... I used to go out when I was coaching,

Um, and I knew it was high risk.

No, no, no. Well, yeah, be...

No, no, no, no. I was being my real self.

Me. Yep.

Yeah. Yep.

And I knew that.

So, I've always felt on the inside

how I appear now on the outside.

Always.

Because... You know why?

You know why? Because...

So, this is therapeutic for me.

I've never been able
to sit down in my life

and talk about everything in my life.

It's been so segmented, Pratty,

and that's why it's been so difficult.

Um...

So what you see now is...

- Just normal. Yeah.
- ...is me.

Yeah.

I...

The only thing I regret, Spide',

is how it's come out,

and it's driven my daughters away from me.

It just rips me apart...

um...

how that's ended up...

...with my...

...particularly with my girls.

There may be a line of thinking that
I've chosen this over them...

...which is certainly not the case.

Um...

I chose to be here...

to be here...

for them,

rather than not be here.

But to be here, I have to be me.

I... there's no choice in that.

They might find it tough,

Laidley in particular.

He's likely to be asked to keep check

on Melbourne's long-serving star
Robert Flower.

He's a very good player,

so if you played very ordinary last week,
you know,

this week he'll probably come out

and try and, you know,
put the ball on the other foot

or something like that, yeah.

He's good enough
to go and get it again.

Growing up in the AFL,
it's always, you know,

society has this sticking point of,
"Who's the gay footballer?"

Those conversations would
give me huge anxiety, um,

and I would think, "A gay footballer.

Yeah, you wait till you hear about me."

And there's
going to be a free kick

as Laidley was put down off the ball.

They really have got three or four real
goers in this West Coast Eagles side,

and I refer to Laidley.

He's one.

Australian Rules Football is
a very hurly, burly, tough sport.

There was this emphasis
on muscle and weights

and strength and violence.

...back, and once more,
you can see that these boys

aren't that friendly down there.

It was a very bloke-y environment.

The drinking sessions
and going to nightclubs and bars,

and where strippers
and topless barmaids were,

and all that sort of stuff, which,
you know,

footy is sort of loved in those days.

I'm not decrying it. That's what it was.

Yeah!

It's a complicated environment,
but back in those days,

it was definitely old-school,

and I know now that Dani
found that very difficult.

To his teammate
there and Dean Laidley,

and eventually it's forced over the line.

I would describe the culture

for Australian trans people in the 1990s

as one of having, sadly,

very little understanding

and very little support.

Ironhorn is a man!

Ah! Ugh!

Look at the size of that Adam's apple.

Veronica, how could you?

- Get your identity crisis straight.
- My identity crisis?

I'm not sitting up here like this
like I'm not messed up.

I can very much understand,
as someone who came out later in life,

how much turmoil there would
have been going on for her.

There were times
during that period

where the gender dysphoria
would be really roaring,

and, at times, you would get frustrated

not being able to get back to that spot
that you yearned for.

Seems to be everywhere.

Malaxos, back it comes.

We played a preseason game
out at Waverley for West Coast.

It was a mid-week game.

So, as you did back in those days,
you would go out afterwards.

There was a group of us that went
to Chaser's nightclub.

I knew there was a group of girls there,
and I knew they were transgender girls.

It was an encounter for me

to talk and ask questions and learn,

and I'm very grateful for... for that

because, you know, I could have,

for want of a better word, been exposed.

When I went to that nightclub,
I parked as close as I could,

and someone yelled out from a car window,
and I will use the exact words,

"Beat the fuck out of you, transvestite."

So there was still, sadly,
a lot of transphobia at that time.

People couldn't find their authentic self

because there wasn't the information,
there wasn't the spaces,

there also wasn't the visibility
and the support.

So it was not easy in the 1990s
to be remotely yourself.

This is Miles.
In short. Laidley in the pocket.

There's no resources,
no one to talk to, no internet.

There's no way in hell
that I would have contemplated,

in that era, of talking
to anyone about this.

And his kick is wide,
so we'll see another throw-in.

I have vivid recollections

that Dani, as a footballer,
was really quite scrawny

in the context of professional
football in the '80s and '90s.

It was characterised by big,
strong, very aggressive men.

At that stage,
she had plenty of aggression,

but no strength at all.

Oh! Now it's on again...

I was lean.

Even from early doors at
West Perth, it was like,

"You've got to get stronger.
You've got to put on weight."

"Yeah, okay, okay. Yep."

And, yes, I was going to get stronger,

but I wasn't going to blow myself up
into a hulking figure.

So I always did my lower body weights.

I would do upper body weights
for strength,

but never for gaining bulk.

But I had back fractures, broken thumbs.

You know, I'd never just
pull a muscle or strain a muscle.

It was always break something.

Newport.
His left fielder is long.

Forty-five, fifty metres to half forward.

You know,
I've coached a lot of players,

but there's only a few that I actually
remember them getting injured.

We were playing at the MCG.

Dani did her ACL.

It's an unfortunate sight
for the West Coast Eagles.

I think that's Dean Laidley
being carried off.

That, to me, was devastating for her,

because that's 12 months.

Tragedy for Dean Laidley
going off the ground there,

having his best season by far as an Eagle.

So when you're not playing,
you get sort of shuffled down the ranks,

and I couldn't make my way back into
the team that won the Grand Final

in 1992.

And that cut pretty deeply.

When she wasn't in the best 20,

and came to me and said,
"I can be in another club,"

then we cleared her.

Because I barracked for North,

the opportunity to go and play
for my beloved Kangaroos

was too good to refuse.

...and Laidley.
"Play on," you hear the umpire calling,

as Laidley drives it out
of the danger zone.

Schwass sets things up and takes a ripper.

I've always gravitated to people
that walked to their own beat,

and she was somebody
that had her own tune.

Laidley,
getting on top of McAdam now.

My mental preparation?

For me, my mantra was kill or be killed.

Feisty, fiery, scrappy, angry.

But I love playing football with her.

Wayne Schwass
gets it across to Laidley.

North go forward to Stevens.
Pressure now on the Essendon defence.

The one thing I know with Dani,
she's got a very addictive personality,

and when she sets her mind to something
then she goes 100 miles an hour at it,

and nothing interferes.

Stevens.
Laidley, the Junkyard Dog.

Gives it over
the top to the man

Mr McKenna calls the "Junkyard Dog."

The Junkyard Dog's
away on the other side.

This scrawny little foul-mouthed,
tough, angry half-back flanker

was indeed a junkyard dog, exactly.

It was a ripper of a nickname from
the media standpoint, and it stuck.

But intercepting it
is the Junkyard Dog.

In fact, all that bravado
and huff and puff

was trying to cover the person underneath.

I hated it

because that persona was

even further removed from who I was.

I had times where
there was stuff in my car.

One time there was tissues with makeup on,

and my wife at the time accused me
of playing up, cheating.

And I, straight away,

the fear would just rise in your body

to the point where you were nearly
going to have a heart attack.

Just a little bit
of height in the forward line.

Looks like they've moved
Dustin Fletcher down there.

And I took the cheating and said, "Yep,"

over telling her about me.

Out wide.
Good kick to Laidley.

Schwass in the middle.

It does sadden me
that she never felt,

whether it be me
or anyone else at that time

in our club environment,

that she could talk to us about that.

I probably, realistically,
if I'm being honest,

would not have known how to respond.

But she's a friend and she's a teammate.

I would have listened.

That's what I'd like to think that
I would have been able to offer

had something have been said.

But for her reasons, which I respect,
the time wasn't right.

So the moment has come.

The centenary Grand Final is underway.

Both in there. Creswell belts it forward.

Laidley gets back.

Lewis there with Laidley out of play.

North, I think have done well,

to force it away again
about 80 meters from the goal.

To be honest with you,
it was a day

that I had always hoped for.

It was a day that I thought

would always complete me,

if we won.

And there it is.
North are champions!

...and it probably did
for the first two or three months.

You know, there's a lot
of celebrations, partying.

Number seven, Dean Laidley.

I'd reached this pinnacle that I'd been
searching for, for so many years.

Being out on the ground,
getting the cup, doing that lap,

and now just sort of sitting
here and taking it all in

with the three people who have
supported me the whole way,

it's just fantastic.

But then when
the lights went down...

What's the next phase of my life?

Danielle was
one of my patients.

I remember her quite distinctly
because she was very fearful.

When she first came,
there was a lot of, um...

substance abuse,

and perhaps a bit of self-neglect,

which sort of reflected
the degree of distress that she was under.

I remember the day
that, you know, I went back to

get some results and,
and talk to my endocrinologist.

She told me,

"You do have and have had
gender dysphoria your whole life."

It was only supposed to be like
a 40-minute appointment.

I stayed there talking to her
for nearly four hours,

crying,

like, so broken emotionally.

And it went from the emotions
that I have right now

to, um,

to walking out the door
and skipping down the road.

She had these feelings,
from what she told me, lifelong,

but perhaps never had language
to describe how she was feeling.

It's individual for everybody.

Like, some people don't want
a diagnosis, don't want a label,

but for some people,
knowing that they can get help,

and they can get support

to get through, um, their...
what they're struggling with,

that can be quite reassuring
for some people.

Just before Christmas last year, I...

I asked my endocrinologist, Dr Ada Cheung,

um...

about what surgeries that
we could possibly look at.

Straight away,
she put me onto some progesterone,

and the reason why I went on progesterone
was to maximise my natural breast growth,

because, you know, I was always going
to look at getting some surgery.

Now, um...

that time, that time's come.

Yeah. Hi, it's Donna Leckie here
to pick up Danielle Laidley.

I'm in the car park.

She sounds heavily under
anaesthetic still.

Lots of pain relief.

- Hi.
- Hello.

That's it. Pull your skirt down.

Thank you.

What have you done?

Tell me what you've done.

I got...

You didn't feel sick?

Look. Look, look. Look. Look.

No? Didn't feel sick?

No.

Do you want to have a look?

Here. I'm here.

Here. Don't be silly!

Give me kiss.

No, you got to meet me halfway.

I gotta go home.

Yeah, we're going home. We're going home.

How are you feeling?

Yeah, very, very sore.

- Very sore?
- Pretty whacked out.

So, I got to rock these
for how long, dear?

A week?

48 hours.

Grumplestitskine.

I beg your pardon?

- How do you feel about this, Donna?
- Yay.

Yay, I'm...

I'm really looking forward to
Valentine's Day and my birthday.

So this is my birthday dinner
from Danielle.

Show her. Put her on.

The camera. Put her on the camera.

Our adopted daughter,
who looks beautiful...

- ...and spoiled me rotten for my birthday.

- Thank you, Jada.
- You're welcome.

And the lady
with the big boobs.

Shut... Danielle!

Happy birthday, Donna.

Love you.
Thanks for making me special.

Look at that.

I had, um...

pretty heavy depression and then surgery,

so...

um...

Still so many triggers.

Um...

My girls.

Um...

The police stuff.

It's just...

There was a huge investigation

into the actions of the police that night.

Hundreds of police were interviewed.

Thirty-nine had some sort
of internal sanction against them.

Three ended up being charged criminally.

So the argument in the case
against the three officers

was that they accessed information
within the police station

without authority.

That included accessing Dani's record,

taking photographs of Dani,

and commentary surrounding that.

We're still trying to get a handle
on how many received it,

but then the investigation needs to
go in what they do with it.

Did they share it?

That is a significant offence.

It carries up to two-years jail,

and just less than $40,000 in fines.

Officers within that police station,

a number of them were part of a group chat

where they would share
different messages, pictures, information.

They shared photographs of Dani
in her most vulnerable state.

The WhatsApp group was called
the SD1 Gentleman's Group,

which is about as great as it sounds.

You know, there were all sorts
of awful comments,

transphobic and otherwise.

I think there's always
public concern

when police are investigating police,

but at the end of the day, in this case,

it is Victoria Police that charge
their own officers with those breaches.

And then it goes to a prosecution's team

that will then follow that case
through court.

Every time I see a police,

every time I see a copper now,

I think,

"Did you send those photos?"

"Did you receive those photos?"

Like...

I know "hate" is a big word, but Jesus.

Can't fuckin' deal with it.

These things really weigh heavily on Dani.

Um...

Mixed with the fact that
she's getting better from the surgery,

I think that she's getting cabin fever,

but I feel a big bout
of depression coming on.

It got to the point that we had to have
a suicide prevention plan put in place,

and I don't think anyone in the world

really knew what Dani went through.

I feel like I'm good to go...

lots of days,

but... then I get the triggers, and...

fucking police, and...

all that shit.

And then my girls.

And then, you know, you get on with it.

There's been a total reshuffle

of the leadership group at the Kangaroos.

Alan Aylett and Anthony Stevens
there to help new coach Dean Laidley

with his first delivery.

It's a huge honour
to coach this football club,

having played here for five or six years.

We will do things differently.

Laidley has been assistant coach

to Collingwood's Mick Malthouse
for three years.

The signing came a lot sooner
than first thought.

It was more of
the devil you know,

rather than the devil you don't.

At that point in time, I might have been

the second-youngest coach ever appointed.

That's what it's all about.

Keep that zone,
and let's work hard in transition.

Terrific.

There was no one who was more narrow,
focused on winning,

and tactically trying to beat
the opposition

than our coach in those days,

all of which was consistent
with this nickname, Tunnel.

She had tunnel vision.

Which path do you take?

Which way do you go?

Life's full of choices.

Do you go out to motivate your teammates

with your little focus areas
that we've spoken about during the week?

Do you go out? Do you play with a passion?

Do you play terrifically hard
for the blue and white stripes?

It's an honour.

And you guys tonight are lucky enough
to represent this football club.

You know,
it's a very, very stressful job,

and was particularly so
for Dani at the time.

North Melbourne was a team that was
under a lot of pressure off the field

and speculation about relocating
and so forth.

The thing that sustained the club
during that period

was that the team performed
exceptionally well.

You just can't do that
without a really good coach.

So, you know, that, I think,
was Dani's finest hour.

You know, I reckon I was going to
have heart attack in that last minute,

but, look, all the boys lifted
in certain periods during the game,

and, you know, we were able to,
you know, we scored that last goal,

and then they held up that last minute,
which was terrific.

The shame and embarrassment

of, I suppose, this persona that I had

grown on the football field,

but still living with that fear

of being exposed
to the world was frightening.

The older I've got
and have gone through it,

the tougher it's become
to manage, contain,

not push away.

You know? What is the right thing to do?

Hello, I'm Tony Jones reporting live
from Arden Street in North Melbourne,

where the shock news today
is that Dean Laidley

is no longer coach of this football club.

Oh, we had discussions along the way
where Dean had sort of said,

"Mate, it's time that I went a different
direction and you did too".

And then after conversations, we thought,

well, probably now
is as good a time as ever.

There's a tinge of sadness,

but there's some real excitement,

certainly from...

from my wife and family

because they get
their husband and dad back

at least for a few months.

I was 42 and I had coached,
you know, 150 games,

which is probably double
the longevity of an AFL coach,

but I couldn't go on any... anymore.

Life in all facets,

work, home,

gender dysphoria,

were just all too much.

You know, I'd come from a...

a split marriage,

and I didn't want that to happen
to my... my children.

But I had this thing

and had masked and hid it.

I have it on good authority that
you were without peer

in the box on match day.

You were as good as anyone.

You think your time was up, huh?

I've got a feeling, Dean, as I say,
I've never met you before.

I don't... I don't think you think
your time was up.

I think there's something else going on.

But again, it was the,
the job, the industry,

what I knew,
it was like a security blanket.

I took a job with Port Adelaide

who gave me a wonderful opportunity
as director of coaching.

And basically, I was running away.

We were going to go as a family,

and right at the last minute I said, "No."

"I'm going by myself."

Again, avoiding, which I seem
to be pretty good at.

But it also allowed me more time to be me.

I was able to explore in
lots of different ways,

lots of reading, lots of watching,

any documentaries I could find,

all that sort of stuff.

But on the other hand,

being by myself and away from
my family was horrendous.

It's like a double-edged sword, you know?

And you're wrestling
from one to the other,

to the other, to the other.

I came back,

moved back into the family house
for a little period of time,

but that was sort of it.

After that, we sold everything, um...

went our separate ways, and...

and I went down to St Kilda for two years,
and then went to Carlton.

And, eventually, in 2015,

leaving Carlton after being sacked

and then completely leaving the AFL,

I really got down
to the nuts and bolts of,

"I need to see or do
something about this."

It still took me so many years after that.

Thanks, everyone, for coming.

We're here today for the first-ever
Trans Event on the Surf Coast.

Please welcome someone
who I'm so grateful to call my friend now,

Danielle May Laidley.

Today is the 19th of November, 2021.

Um...

Um, it's a significant day for me.

Um...

This is the first time that
I've represented both my tribes.

This morning, we had a function at
the North Melbourne Football Club,

my first tribe.

Now, I get to speak to you lovely people,

and representing
what I determine is my new tribe.

I'm still learning myself,

and trying to network
with as many people as I can,

and I now feel such a responsibility

to make sure that I can play my part

for my new tribe.

My story is a little bit different
to, um, a lot of people's.

Um...

and every story is important.

And your ability to share
and keep connecting to people,

I found for me,
has been the best medicine.

So, I really want to thank you
for... for listening.

It hit me about 15 minutes before
we were leaving home this morning

how big a deal today was.

So, thanks very much.

I was a privileged white male

that had the privilege of also being
relatively talented at an elite sport.

I'm not going to pretend
to know and understand

everything about being a transgender woman

or in the rainbow community,

because, let's face it,

I've been removed from it
for a very, very long time.

How important is it for you
to take part in a march like this today?

Ah, yes, very important.

Representing two tribes.

Obviously, transgender tribe
and North on the back.

Thank you so much.
Have a lovely day.

Cheers.

I started to research reports

from the Victorian Police
over the last ten, fifteen years.

The gap between
the transgender community and the police

is just wide and widening by the minute.

A police officer
who leaked a photo and information

about ex-North Melbourne coach
Dani Laidley's arrest

has had his charges thrown out.

A magistrate found his actions
were not contrary

to his duties as a police officer.

I'm in shock,

but I'm also thinking, "Oh no,
what is this going to do to Danielle?"

"Oh no. What's going to be reported
in the paper tomorrow?"

"Oh no. What's going to be on
all the social media streams?"

So, it's not just getting
the bad news about the police.

Like, it's a ripple effect.

I...

It's just so hard to comprehend.

I... I don't know...

I honestly now don't know what to do.

We really need
law reform in this area,

so that if something like this
happens again,

and I'm fairly confident that it will,

those officers can be
brought to account properly,

and it can go through
the criminal process properly.

Unfortunately, I think two
of the officers kept their jobs

and one officer has left the force
to go become a teacher,

which is not what I would expect
the community would particularly want.

Where is the line that

the police, as an organisation,

say, "No, that's not acceptable,
and you can no longer work for us"?

I've probably forgiven...

um...

but I'll never, ever forget.

Ever.

All right.

- Got your tickets to get in?
- Love you.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
- All right.

I'll see you after
the game. Ciao.

I'd worked
as a commentator before,

but the biggest thing I was nervous
about this time was my voice.

Gee, I haven't been here for a while.

- How are you? All right?
- Yeah. Good.

- How you going?
- Yeah. Good. Good.

- Good to see you. Thanks for joining us.
- No worries.

In my transition, it's one thing
that I haven't cared about.

Sometimes that does bother me.

If I'm on the phone and, you know,
I'll say, "It's Danielle Laidley."

And they'll go, "Daniel?"

And I'll go, "No. Danielle."

Welcome to Triple M Football.

Dani Laidley, who will be with us
throughout the night.

Dani, it is wonderful
to see your smiling face.

We're all excited to have you here.
You look fantastic.

How are you feeling about
being on the radio

for the first time since 2014?

Ah, it's great to be
back into the AFL family

and the Triple M family.

Thank you for having me.

Dani, I don't want to wade into...

you know, you here to talk
about the footy with us,

but, like, we're fascinated,
we're inquisitive.

We have lots of questions,
which I'm sure everybody does,

that is around you and loves you.

I'll just ask you,

how difficult is it to live a life
when it's not you?

Very. Very compartmentalised.

- Is that all right to ask?
- Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

- We're a bit tiptoe-y here.
- Yeah, no, please, please, don't be.

Please. We're all friends here.

Once the game started,

it was like back on automatic pilot.

Their half-backers are really like CJ,

really coming up really high
and coming forward to defend.

Great pressure from the Hawks.

Watching the game, calling the game,

seeing it as it unfolded.

I love that about football.

It was a pretty special night.

...got found wanting just
because it was a little bit more

quicker ball movement inside forward 50

and a bit more movement
by the Dogs forwards.

Great work from
Dani Laidley alongside Nate Brown

on the Triple M C-Bus super.

All the Dogs have got answers
through Bailey, Dale...

There are people who are really struggling
in the football community,

with the fact that, in some ways,
Dani has been glorified

and been seen as very brave in coming out
and living the life she wants to live,

and good luck to her.

It's fantastic that people accept her now,
and of course we should accept her.

I think you've just got to remember that
there was a lot of pain on the way,

and a lot of pain for other people.

Would you please welcome to the stage
Dean Laidley.

Bit of advice.

Um...

don't sweat the small stuff.

Great stuff, Dean.
Great to see you back.

After I left the AFL,
I was living by myself.

Quite private life.

There was no working late at night.

I had my weekends free,
which I hadn't had for 35 years.

My whole life had been

family and football.

So basically they weren't there.

So then I sort of started
to live my life as me

with a small group of friends,

but not in front of my children.

You know, I would try my darnedest to

keep the two very separated.

I would sleep all day
just to try and regenerate myself

because of everything
that it took to be me.

It was just getting unbearable,

and it was hard to live in the present.

The depths of despair that I was at,

to turn to something that
helps you avoid everything,

you don't make good decisions,

and it all ends in tears.

I...

was learning how to use Snapchat

because that's how I communicated,

particularly with the girls every day.

And one Sunday morning,
I was learning how to do it

and I didn't have my glasses on,

and instead of pressing save,

I pressed send.

And they got pictures of me.

The girls had no idea,

and I have to take
full responsibility for that.

You know, there were reasons
how it happened,

um... you know,
my mental health and the drug use.

From that time on,

I have had no communication
with the girls.

This is the hardest thing

that I struggle with,
to cope with every day.

It's now 2020 that we're talking about.

I was in a very toxic situation.

With everything that was going on,
I was not in a good headspace.

I started to think about,

people will be better off
without me being around.

Late one Sunday afternoon,

I locked myself in my room.

And I'd always wondered...

when you got to that point,

does the fear of what you're doing

take over?

But I had no fear.

She had her door locked
and I was like, banging on the door,

trying to get in.

And then she had, like, a belt
around her neck tied to the door.

That's when I was, like, screaming at her.

I was yelling at her.

And then after that, we just
laid there on the floor in her room,

crying, talking about everything.

Initially, um...

Jada, she gave me a real burst.

Like, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Like, "You need help."

"You need help. You need help."

"You're mentally sick."

"You're absolutely
drugged to the eyeballs."

Um...

Yeah.

Just before it all blew up publicly,

my drug use started to spiral

and I hated who I was.

I can honestly sit here

and... say I was crazy.

You know, I'm on the phone ringing people,
abusing them, sending emails.

Just... horrendous stuff.

I ended up getting a call from the police.

This toxic situation was...

Somehow, I had to get out of it.

Um... to try and, um...

sort out my life.

We've seen
a dramatic 24 hours

for the former North Melbourne coach
and premiership player Dean Laidley.

Former North Melbourne
player and coach Dean Laidley...

Laidley has also been
charged with drug possession,

after ice was allegedly found
stashed inside his bra.

Now, he's in a holding cell.

Two photographs showing
Ms. Laidley in a wig and makeup

were published on social media,
effectively outing her...

...and a makeup-smeared
mug shot have gone viral.

So then I find out
I wouldn't get bail,

and I was put into the top floor,

into the psychiatric ward.

Um...

This is where I felt my absolute lowest,

when I heard that door...

um, crash behind me.

- So, I might start recording.
- Mm.

It's not easy being you right now,

and you've detailed
a lot of the reasons why.

But I reckon we do...

We also need to dwell a little bit on the...

Not the happy ending, but, like,

- That'd be--
- The positive things in your life.

Put the camera over there onto these two,

because if I didn't have them with me,

I honestly don't know where I would be.

You and I, we've tallied it up,

and I think you're right.

Like, we've spent close to a 100 hours...

Yeah, clicked over a 100.

- Wow!
- That's a draft.

That is, like...

That's a story.

That's a story right there.
That's your life.

- That's a start to finish of your life.
- Wow.

And then skip to the important part
with me in it.

If you read the first
page of the book,

it's to my kids.

I've had to do a lot of work about
putting myself in their shoes,

and all the things
that I've spoken about now

to get a deeper understanding
of how they would feel.

And when the time...

the time is right, so, when they're ready,

not when I'm ready, um...

that I'm the best person that I can be,

and, you know, I can welcome
them back with open arms,

um,

and have that very,
very strong relationship

that we've had

since they were babies.

I remember this house here,
they didn't have any kids.

Old Chaz here, we played cricket at
the back or out the front,

and we'd hit the ball over the fence.

We'd jump over the fence,
and he'd get shitty as hell.

- Um...
- And it's all knocked down?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this house here--

And then we come to this house.

Wow.

So you ran out here,
and threw the nail polish here?

Yeah, in here.

- Right in there.

Seems so small compared to...

I thought it was...

...what I, what you can remember it.

I wonder what the toilets look like now.

There's a big group of us
that decided to wag high school,

and back in those days,

the ranger would, you know, drive around,

and we spotted the ranger,

so we all ran into the toilets,

and so he proceeded to start to ask
everyone their name and address.

I thought I was a smart kid,

but I'm the only one that gave
my real name and address.

So, I'm the only one that got
called up to the school office

and banned from the school social.

- And everybody else gave false names, so.
- Yeah.

Oh, 'cause we were, like, off and on.

- Yeah.
- You had all the girls.

Settle down.

Danielle and I met
in primary school,

and we were both left-handed.

I don't think they knew
what to do with us, actually.

So we sat next to each other
in grade one, and...

the love of your life for four days,
and then you'd get dropped.

And that was off and on throughout

all of our primary school years
and our high school years.

And then with footy
and our lives and careers,

we sort of went in different ways.

We both got married early
and our lives crossed a few times.

So it was one of those things that
we would somehow always end up together.

But I didn't think it would take this long
to finally end up properly together.

Yeah.

Being arrested,
going to jail, going to rehab.

I was in there for 20 weeks,

and so I hadn't had a phone
during that whole period of time.

And then when I got out,

there was plenty of messages
from this one.

I'm just grateful that
I have someone in my life

who loves me for me.

Donna has been asked,

"Oh, so how long have
you liked women for?"

And whether we both have
a chuckle about that.

I didn't know

that I would be interested

in a woman,

transgender woman,

whatever the case.

I just knew that
I've always loved this person.

So, to me, it didn't matter

whether Dani was male, female,

lesbian, whatever.

I just...

I-I don't understand
what's so hard for people to get,

that you can just love another human.

I remember I was the first one
apart from her son, Kane, and lawyers

to see her in a rehab centre
down in Geelong.

Well, got to say I was
a little bit nervous, but...

Because I'd never seen Dani
as a transgender woman.

She had her head down
and didn't really know

how I was going to react or whatever,

but we both just embraced each other.

I said, "Give me a hug,"

and we had a big cuddle
and she had a few tears.

And after she got out of rehab
and we spoke about different things,

I said, "You're the most courageous person
I think I've ever met,

now that I understand
what you've been going through."

I'm incredibly proud
to acknowledge her as a teammate.

We experienced something very special,

along with all
of our other teammates in 1996.

There's a beautiful photo,
and it's Dani's favourite photo,

and she shared this with me,

of the moment the siren went.

And it's such a powerful photo

because it talks about
the triumph of sport.

But here are two people, Dani and myself,

in the middle of our own private battles.

I'd always wanted to play AFL football.

I dreamt of winning a Premiership.

I'd managed to do that

in the middle
of a four-year suicidal battle.

I don't carry that sadness now,

but what more could we have done
for one another

had we known more about
each other's story?

Wayne was one
of the first that reached out.

And I have this beautiful text
which I've kept from him

about, you know,
we've both had our issues.

He loves me for me,

and the world's a better place
with me in it.

My thought pattern is
that we'll walk over here,

and then we'll end up on the other side
looking back to where we were.

You're directing it now, are you?

Because we were on
this side of the centre circle.

- You don't reckon that's right, Wayne?

Who do you think you are? Russell Crowe?

Mate, I'm the leader.
That's why I was the captain.

You were only a vice-captain.

I'm starting on this, on the line...

- I don't know how she remembers this shit.
- Neither do I.

...and then I come in,

and the ball gets soccered
out of the middle of the ground,

and goes through my legs to David King.

And the siren goes.

- And there it is.

North are champions!

I remember hugging you.

And then I remember Swatta trying to
get away from us while we're hugging.

- Yes--
- You remember we were hugging...

- ...and he was trying to get away.
- He pulled out.

Who's that?

- You.
- I didn't!

Yeah, you wanted to get away from us.

Yeah, 'cause, mate, hey, it's my moment.

Like, we went in,
we're all in the same vicinity,

- and all you wanted to do was call out...
- The vision...

The vision just showed me
pushing you away.

- Yeah, I know.

And I think the crowd
that day was, ah...

Was it 93,000?

- 94 and a half thousand.
- 94.

Given the friendship and the history
that we've had along the way,

but especially over the last
sort of few years,

it's sort of quite surreal that
the photo that captures the moment,

we're all in it.

- Yeah.
- That's right.

Every time I look
at that, that photo,

you know, I can hear the siren

and I can feel the...

just the emotion of really relief.

At that point in time at my life,

the gender dysphoria was roaring.

It was really interesting back then.

You know, we'd all muck around and joke,

and, you know,

hang shit on each other
and all that sort of stuff,

but there wasn't the quality
of the depth of conversation to say...

- Right here, right now
- "How you going?"

We played an environment where
we weren't permitted...

- No.
- ...to show vulnerability.

We weren't permitted to be soft,
caring, compassionate.

- We loved each other.
- Yeah.

But I would go so far as to say
it was superficial love.

- Yeah.
- Whereas--

- It was only skin deep.
- Yeah.

And there it is.
North are champions!

Oh, so I'm on the ground.

And what were you doing, Wayne?
What was I doing?

You were laughing behind me smiling at me.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Was I?

Thinking I'm gonna come in to Swatta
and give him a headlock?

Righty-o, hey. Ready? Hands up.

Ready? Here we go.

- Well, I was looking at you guys.
- Yeah.

I was up like this and I was thinking,

"What the fuck? I got my hands up.
I just want to hug these two."

- Yeah.
-"Let's celebrate!"

- Oh, it's beautiful. Good job!
- So good.

The biggest stars of the AFL
are lining the red carpet

for the game's night of nights

as the Brownlow Medal returns to our city.

I was so excited for Dani,

because I know Dani had gone
as either a coach or a player.

So to go as Danielle May Laidley,

done up to the nines and the dress
and the hair and the stylist,

just felt really, really special.

It's just so grateful to be recognised,

to be respected, to be supported, um,

and have a sense of belonging.

And I think that's really important
for the transgender community.

I thought at times, football may kill me

because of all the things that,
you know, I carried about.

The fear and the shame and embarrassment.

There is no doubt,

no doubt, that certainly
the people around me

and the AFL

have saved my life.

So, we face a lot of barriers,

and we know what community
sporting organisations

can do within our football family,

but also, we can be leaders in society,

and particularly at a community level.

What Dani did in her journey,

and how she represents herself now,

and who she is as the real Dani Laidley,

I think, has got such
an incredible narrative

that I think hopefully
gets a few people to open their eyes

who might not be seeing things so clearly.

I've never been in here.
I've never been in here before.

My choice was
to be my authentic self,

and stay on this Earth
for my children and my loved ones,

or leave the world in pain.

I've done a lot of work on myself.

Now, I feel if I can continue to

drink the poison of
what's happened in the past,

it will hold me back.

Pretty much, that's why I'm here,
to... to tell my story.

My eldest daughter asked
for a copy of the book.

She's got a very close friend.

He's going to read it first and tell her.

So, you know,
that's a big step in, in itself.

Um...

and I'm... to hear that, I'm very grateful.

Yeah.

Dani Laidley
on the sporting fielding again!

- 40-30.

I couldn't help it. It was just there.

Yeah, sorry.

Donna and I would spend
very little time apart.

We've set ourselves

to enjoy this period of time

and have fun.

Letting people see us out and about,

and seeing that we are happy,
and we are in love,

and we are living our life,

but we also then like to retreat

and have that really good
balance of our life.

We've got a cheers!

- And then I never heard from you again.

It's hard to explain how very special

Dani is to me and always has been.

I always feel loved and safe,

and I've never had that.

Never.

Yeah. I think when Dad asked me, um,

everything was still a bit raw.

As time's gone on,

and I've seen Dad flourish into
the person that she is today,

I've really just wanted to say,
yeah, how proud I am

of how far that she's come,
and "That's my dad."

It's family. Like, the bond is pretty much
unbreakable at this point.

Our roles have reversed

about who's the mentor
and who's giving counsel,

you know, through his life.

If I was ever juggling something,
I would ring him

and we would talk it through.

And that's one of Kane's great qualities,

to be able to do that.

The biggest hope for
the future for Danielle and I

would be to have all of our family
at a barbecue

with all the grandkids running around.

The Brady Bunch all together.

So, it's a big hope,

but you always got to believe
it will happen.

A very warm
and colourful welcome

to the inaugural Virgin Australia
Perth to Sydney Pride Flight.

Going through what I have,
it's been difficult at times.

And it's not "woe is me"
by any stretch of the imagination.

I've had a wonderful life.

The word "transition",
it brings up a connotation

of there is a finishing line.

And I think evolving and growing

is a much better description of that.

I will be me.

And now the acceptance in that,

and being the best person that I can be,

then the rest will take care of itself,

some things quicker than others.

And you learn to deal with those things
as you go along.

But within myself,
I feel great and at peace,

and I feel like I'm home.

♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪

♪ I think I'm ready ♪

♪ And I'm, I'm out of the wind ♪

♪ So catch my wings ♪

♪ I'm ready to go ♪

♪ I think I'm ready ♪

♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪

♪ I think I'm ready ♪

♪ And I'm at the edge of the cliff ♪

♪ So let's begin ♪

♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪

♪ I think I'm ready ♪