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BUFF 'N' STUFF
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You are what you eat.
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You got three food groups, and
they sure as hell ain't fries,
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Chips Ahoy, and Milk Duds!
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And you all wonder why your faces look
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like topographic maps of the Himalayas!
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- Well, today we're gonna talk about...
- "You are a beautiful woman".
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- "You will be with me tonight".
- ... and why you should be eating it.
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That was cool.
10
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You two are pathetic
poster boys for the world
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of no self-esteem. We're
gonna handle this deficiency
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once and for all. That's right!
Meet me in the gym after school.
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It's time to tighten up those
disgusting wickets of yours
14
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and get down to some serious
remedial weight training.
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Whoa.
16
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Is this "The Partridge Family"?
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Yeah.
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I think this is Barry Manilow.
19
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This isn't Barry Manilow.
He's blonde-haired, like me.
20
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Yeah, and he sucks
like you too.
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Yeah.
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I mean, no, buttmunch.
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- Boy! This is horrible!
- Yeah. And it sucks too.
24
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Yeah! This video, like,
like, if it was a turd...
25
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...it would like, be
like, the same thing.
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Yeah. At least if this video was a
turd, it would like
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- be kind of cool.
- Yeah.
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- This guy sucks.
- Yeah!
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And then this guy.
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- Just look at him.
- Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah.
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What a dork!
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Hey Beavis,
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what happened when
Napoleon went to mount Olive?
35
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What?
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Popeye got pissed.
37
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Get it?
38
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Yeah.
39
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All right, you two shameless
bags of atrophy!
40
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I'm gonna change your life!
41
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I think he's
starting to like us.
42
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Yeah.
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Quiet! Discipline,
gentlemen, discipline!
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I talk, you listen.
Integrity! Respect!
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That's self-respect, to know that
your body can rely on you
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when it is hanging it out all
over the edge, and vice versa.
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I remember those days on the Ho Chi Minh
trail with the mighty big red one.
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Grace, my trusty
M-16 by my side.
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In the jungle, boys, no one was innocent.
You got them before they got you.
50
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I want to tell you, my
squad followed them,
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flame throwing tanks into
those hostile villages,
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man, it was beautiful!
Fire everywhere!
53
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- Cool!
- Not cool, hot!
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We get to those trusty little dwellings,
those poor peasants
55
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and they looked at us like
we were the Almighty himself!
56
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Now that's self-esteem,
gentlemen!
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Strenght! Anger! Hatred!
Are you with me?
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Are you with me?
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I said, are
you with me!
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That's it! That's it! Now let's grab
some weight and get busy!
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Yeah.
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Wussy.
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- Shut up.
- Come on wuss.
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Pitiful.
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- Are you a man?
- Yeah.
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What makes you think so?
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I got testicles.
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Yeah.
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You clowns think you
are so damn funny.
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You say you're a man?
Prove it.
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You wanna see a man, boy?
I'll show you a man.
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Kick me in the jimmy.
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- No way!
- I said do it!
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Yes!
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Do it again!
Do it hard!
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Yes!
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Whoa! That was cool!
78
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Now, get your floppy appendices
on this bar and send it up!
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Chode.
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Shut up.
81
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It is hopeless!
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Get this thing off of me!
83
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Yes!
84
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These dudes
kick-ass!
85
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Yeah.
86
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Let the boys
be boys...
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Slam!
88
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Slam!
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Let the boys
be boys!
90
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Slamming is cool.
91
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Yeah.
92
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'cause, like,
if you are at the concert and some
93
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dude smacks you, you can
like, smack him back.
94
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And it's like, you know, cool...
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Yeah. It's like,
you can go around slamming
96
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into people and hitting 'em.
And hitting 'em!
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Yeah.
98
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And like, the only thing they can
do about it it's, like, kick your ass.
99
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Yeah.
100
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That's cool.
101
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You know, like, whenever
you see a band stage diving
102
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it's like, pretty safe to say
that they are cool.
103
00:08:04,764 --> 00:08:05,854
Yeah.
104
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,947
Whenever I go stage diving,
I look for chicks with big thingies
105
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and then I jump right into 'em.
106
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Shut up, Beavis. You never
even been to a concert.
107
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,459
Oh yeah.
108
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,117
- Cool.
- Yeah.
109
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That was a killer workout.
110
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Yeah.
111
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"You are a
beautiful woman".
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One more day, and
we'll be totally ripped.
113
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Yeah.
114
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Dude, you stink!
Hit the showers.
115
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"Bathe her,
and bring her to me!"
116
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Whoa! How does he make
that sound with his mouth?
117
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It's easy, check it out.
118
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That was pretty good, Beavis.
119
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Yeah.
120
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Thanks, I've been, like,
practicing and stuff.
121
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:56,419
This guy looks like one of those,
like, salesmen at the mall.
122
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Yeah.
123
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"Excuse me, may I help
you boys or something?"
124
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"No thanks, sir, we're just
here to break stuff".
125
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Check it out. This dude started,
like, making all these dorky faces.
126
00:10:16,463 --> 00:10:17,560
Yeah.
127
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:21,112
- He's all excited about that chick.
- Yeah.
128
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,614
I make faces like this.
129
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Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
130
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Usually, like, I just make this face.
9145
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