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1
00:00:01,462 --> 00:00:04,296
- Oh, man. What do you guys
know about this oedipus guy?
2
00:00:04,339 --> 00:00:07,132
- Never heard of him.
- Well, you're about to.
3
00:00:07,176 --> 00:00:08,133
- Wait, what?
4
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:09,926
- How insane is that?
5
00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:11,720
- Oh, oedipus,
oedipus, oedipus.
6
00:00:11,805 --> 00:00:13,346
- Don't spoil it.
7
00:00:13,432 --> 00:00:14,181
This is nothing.
8
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:15,265
If I lost my eyesight,
9
00:00:15,309 --> 00:00:17,309
I'd bump
into my mother a lot too.
10
00:00:17,394 --> 00:00:19,352
Both:
You're reading it backwards.
11
00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:22,898
- Ah!
Oedipus, you naughty pioneer.
12
00:00:22,941 --> 00:00:24,232
- Hardly pioneering.
13
00:00:24,318 --> 00:00:26,109
This is the top half
of my family tree.
14
00:00:26,195 --> 00:00:28,111
Stupendous?
Incest, murder?
15
00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:29,863
- Nah, I know the story.
16
00:00:29,907 --> 00:00:30,906
Sucks to be oedipus.
17
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:32,857
- Sucks to be oedipus' parents!
18
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:34,034
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
19
00:00:34,119 --> 00:00:36,119
- You know what, guys?
I don't say this enough.
20
00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:38,413
We're
a relatively healthy family.
21
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:39,498
All: Aww.
- I act like
22
00:00:39,541 --> 00:00:41,458
You guys are a burden,
and you are,
23
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:44,878
But I need to appreciate
my situation for what it is:
24
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,630
Somewhat better than oedipus.
25
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:47,964
- Aww.
- How nice.
26
00:00:48,092 --> 00:00:50,383
- Every goat in the city
has been partially eaten,
27
00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:52,385
Leaving a trail of blood
to the palace gates,
28
00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:54,179
And the people are coming
with torches
29
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:56,264
To demand
your father be killed!
30
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,225
- [sighs]
maybe I'd rather be oedipus.
31
00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:01,853
- [laughs]
not a chance, stud.
32
00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:04,731
[upbeat mythical music]
33
00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:11,738
♪ ♪
34
00:01:26,797 --> 00:01:28,130
[crowd clamoring]
35
00:01:28,215 --> 00:01:30,590
- Dad, did you eat those goats?
- Of course not.
36
00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:33,260
I'd remember if I did.
Goats are amazing.
37
00:01:33,303 --> 00:01:35,345
They have those little handles
on their heads
38
00:01:35,389 --> 00:01:37,514
So you can just...
[chomping]
39
00:01:37,558 --> 00:01:40,142
- Next time someone asks,
shorten that to "no."
40
00:01:40,185 --> 00:01:41,393
- You want me to beat 'em up?
41
00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:44,020
- Everyone?
In the entire city?
42
00:01:44,064 --> 00:01:45,021
- Is that a challenge?
43
00:01:45,107 --> 00:01:47,149
- If you beat everyone up,
44
00:01:47,192 --> 00:01:48,358
What am I the king of?
45
00:01:48,402 --> 00:01:50,819
- Quieter people?
- No.
46
00:01:50,904 --> 00:01:52,737
Angry mobs feed
on fear and violence.
47
00:01:52,781 --> 00:01:55,907
A smart leader dispels it
with calmness and courage.
48
00:01:55,993 --> 00:01:57,117
- So you want me standing
49
00:01:57,202 --> 00:01:58,869
Right behind you
or right in front of you?
50
00:01:58,954 --> 00:02:00,829
- Is me on your shoulders
too much?
51
00:02:00,873 --> 00:02:03,707
Crowd: Angry mob! Angry mob!
52
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,292
- Everybody, calm down!
53
00:02:05,377 --> 00:02:07,544
- We don't wanna calm down!
We're an angry mob!
54
00:02:07,588 --> 00:02:09,462
- You won't be
if you calm down.
55
00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:11,840
- Well,
isn't that convenient logic?
56
00:02:11,884 --> 00:02:13,008
Crowd: Yeah!
57
00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:15,302
- My father
did not kill your goats.
58
00:02:15,304 --> 00:02:16,636
Can you at least
put out the torches?
59
00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:18,054
They're silly.
It's daytime.
60
00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:21,099
- Look, if you're gonna be
this dismissive of our anger,
61
00:02:21,143 --> 00:02:23,935
Don't act shocked
by our decision to be a mob!
62
00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,228
[crowd clamoring]
63
00:02:25,314 --> 00:02:26,646
- You guys,
I'm not dismissing you.
64
00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:29,274
Can we just talk?
- Nobody talked to my goats.
65
00:02:29,359 --> 00:02:31,276
Crowd: Yeah!
- Or maybe they did.
66
00:02:31,403 --> 00:02:33,028
But it didn't help!
Crowd: Yeah!
67
00:02:33,113 --> 00:02:34,404
- My point is,
our goats are dead.
68
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,656
Crowd: Yeah!
- You're overexplaining it.
69
00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:37,991
Crowd: Oh.
- What are you,
70
00:02:38,035 --> 00:02:39,868
My angry mob mentor?
Crowd: Yes!
71
00:02:39,912 --> 00:02:41,536
- Man, our city sucks.
72
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:44,372
They can't even kill
one murderer together.
73
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,667
- Everybody, I'm going
to create a system
74
00:02:47,711 --> 00:02:51,379
By which you, the people,
are in charge of justice.
75
00:02:51,423 --> 00:02:53,798
We'll call it
"a justice system."
76
00:02:54,551 --> 00:02:56,343
- I don't wanna speak
for the whole mob,
77
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:59,095
But I'm willing to indulge you
because this torch is heavy!
78
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:00,430
Crowd: Yeah!
79
00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:03,058
[all grumbling]
80
00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:04,601
- That was close.
- Yeah.
81
00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:07,270
For a moment there,
you almost spinelessly pandered
82
00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:09,606
To a bunch of dingholes
I could've easily killed.
83
00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:10,649
- You don't get it.
84
00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:12,651
If the people are
in charge of justice,
85
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:15,320
They'll have to agree
on who's guilty or innocent.
86
00:03:15,405 --> 00:03:17,197
Those people can't agree
on anything,
87
00:03:17,241 --> 00:03:18,156
So I'll just talk in circles
88
00:03:18,242 --> 00:03:19,699
Until dad gets away
with murder.
89
00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:23,745
- You don't seriously expect me
to admire you for this, do you?
90
00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:26,706
[metallic clanging]
91
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:31,628
- [groans]
92
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:33,046
[zapping]
93
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:39,219
Ugh, unbelievable.
94
00:03:39,263 --> 00:03:40,845
What are you doing?
95
00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:42,264
- It's called science, mom.
96
00:03:42,349 --> 00:03:44,474
- Don't ever call me mom.
97
00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:46,768
That's a word
my actual children try
98
00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:47,852
And use to leverage me.
99
00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:49,020
I tolerate it from them.
100
00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:50,438
I won't from you.
101
00:03:50,524 --> 00:03:53,024
Now what is the point
of this science?
102
00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:54,985
- We can use it
to do amazing things,
103
00:03:55,028 --> 00:03:56,611
Like give people water.
104
00:03:56,655 --> 00:03:57,946
- Like this?
105
00:03:58,031 --> 00:03:59,781
- That's also impressive.
106
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:00,865
- Isn't it just?
107
00:04:00,951 --> 00:04:02,826
It's called being powerful.
108
00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:05,370
It's why I have a temple
and why mortals worship me
109
00:04:05,414 --> 00:04:08,290
And why half-fish stepchildren
should know better than to ruin
110
00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:11,042
What was previously
a pretty solid day drunk.
111
00:04:11,128 --> 00:04:12,377
- Powerful. Got it.
112
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:14,713
Um, before you go,
could you--
113
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:16,548
- Invent an umbrella.
114
00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:18,883
Quietly.
115
00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:19,926
- Dad?
116
00:04:20,012 --> 00:04:22,053
Dad?
- [muffled grunts]
117
00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:24,139
- Okay, grab him.
- Come on, old man.
118
00:04:24,224 --> 00:04:26,308
When's the last time
you fit through any window?
119
00:04:26,351 --> 00:04:29,060
- I am not leaving
through the window.
120
00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:30,895
I was grabbing my weed.
121
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:32,188
I'm leaving from the roof.
122
00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:34,190
- Why leave?
I'm going to exonerate you.
123
00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:37,110
- My boy, you're what, 30?
I'm thousands.
124
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:39,487
This is how it works
with monsters and humans.
125
00:04:39,573 --> 00:04:42,115
I chill among you a while,
then something creepy happens,
126
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,909
You kids grab the torches,
and daddy bones out.
127
00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:46,411
It's been real.
- I have a plan.
128
00:04:46,455 --> 00:04:47,912
I already sold the people
on it.
129
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,497
It's why they disbanded.
130
00:04:49,541 --> 00:04:53,335
- You need me to put my head
on the block to save yours.
131
00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:55,128
- Well, it sounds bad
when you say it.
132
00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:56,379
- All right, well,
how's this sound?
133
00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:59,123
I'm gonna put my weed plant
up on the roof--
134
00:04:59,176 --> 00:05:00,717
- Flight risk.
- [grunts]
135
00:05:00,761 --> 00:05:01,926
Can I hang on to my weed,
136
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:03,428
Or is there a law
against that too?
137
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,180
- Your weed
will always be legal, dad.
138
00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:07,015
I'm a tyrant,
not a crazy person.
139
00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:13,146
- Okay, here's
how it's going to work.
140
00:05:13,231 --> 00:05:15,148
We're replacing
the large angry mob
141
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,400
With a smaller, seated,
thoughtful mob.
142
00:05:17,444 --> 00:05:18,401
That's you guys.
143
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:20,278
You'll decide
on guilt or innocence
144
00:05:20,405 --> 00:05:23,564
After hearing all information
from both sides.
145
00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:25,617
- Question.
- Not your job, but go ahead.
146
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:29,120
- How are you allowed to be
king and defend the killer?
147
00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:30,580
It seems janky.
- Janky?
148
00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:33,416
That's a word now?
- Are you ruling over that too?
149
00:05:33,502 --> 00:05:35,001
- Uh-huh!
- I mean, it really does
150
00:05:35,087 --> 00:05:37,003
Seem janky.
- Okay, okay.
151
00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:38,338
This is not part
of the royal court.
152
00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:40,715
This is a separate court,
a legal court,
153
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:42,008
Where there is no king.
154
00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:43,301
- So who's in charge?
155
00:05:43,387 --> 00:05:45,011
- Well, we don't really--okay.
156
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,555
Who is the oldest person
in the city?
157
00:05:47,641 --> 00:05:50,767
- What? I don't wanna be
involved in this hipster crap.
158
00:05:50,852 --> 00:05:51,976
I'm 40!
159
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,228
- You don't even have
to do anything
160
00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:54,687
But sit there and be old.
161
00:05:54,773 --> 00:05:55,730
Just do it.
162
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:57,524
Make him do it.
- Hey!
163
00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:58,900
I don't have time for this!
164
00:05:58,985 --> 00:06:00,860
I could die any moment!
165
00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:02,987
I'm 40 years old!
166
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:04,280
Uh, what's this?
167
00:06:04,324 --> 00:06:06,116
- That was left there
by a carpenter
168
00:06:06,159 --> 00:06:08,118
And clearly has nothing
to do with any...
169
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:09,828
If we could get started, I'd--
- what?
170
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,663
- What do you mean "what"?
You're banging a hammer--
171
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,165
- When I feel like it?
That's what I thought.
172
00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:15,625
Okay, I'm into this job.
173
00:06:15,669 --> 00:06:19,087
I'm not into your music,
but I'm into this job.
174
00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:20,880
Proceed.
- All right. I'm--
175
00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,382
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with our music?
176
00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:25,677
- It's a bunch of people
banging on drums.
177
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,263
When I was your age,
we had to make the drums.
178
00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:29,806
- You're five years older
than us.
179
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:33,726
- Everything's a number
to your generation.
180
00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:37,230
[whooshing]
- aah!
181
00:06:37,274 --> 00:06:38,565
[groans]
- my bad!
182
00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,024
You've got a great story now,
though.
183
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,401
Almost never happens.
184
00:06:41,445 --> 00:06:42,777
[whispers]
when I'm sober.
185
00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:44,154
- You're too much.
186
00:06:44,239 --> 00:06:45,280
- I'm just enough.
187
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,865
- I could use a little more.
188
00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:48,658
[both laugh]
189
00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:50,452
[both sigh]
190
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:52,829
How are you, herm-herms?
191
00:06:52,873 --> 00:06:54,456
- Just runnin' and funnin'.
192
00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,249
Spreadin' words
of stuff I heard.
193
00:06:56,293 --> 00:06:58,084
Speaking of which,
so sorry to hear
194
00:06:58,170 --> 00:06:59,461
About all
those lost worshippers.
195
00:06:59,504 --> 00:07:01,212
- What do you mean?
- Oh, right.
196
00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:03,047
You probably haven't heard
because all the other gods
197
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:05,008
Have been talking about it
behind your back.
198
00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,176
The killassians,
199
00:07:06,219 --> 00:07:07,552
They're worshipping
some new god.
200
00:07:07,596 --> 00:07:09,679
- The killassians?
Well, that's my city.
201
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:11,014
They pray to me.
202
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:12,932
What's the name
of this new god?
203
00:07:12,976 --> 00:07:14,851
- Simon? Séance?
204
00:07:14,895 --> 00:07:16,102
- Is it science?
205
00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:17,562
- You know him?
Introduce me.
206
00:07:17,606 --> 00:07:19,939
Or you could just turn
into a crow and blow me off.
207
00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:21,316
Bitch.
208
00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:28,364
[magical poof]
209
00:07:30,577 --> 00:07:32,452
- Where is the fish boy?
210
00:07:33,121 --> 00:07:35,163
- To what do we owe the honor?
211
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,289
- Playtime is over.
212
00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,166
Give me back my killassians.
213
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,251
- I'm sorry, but no.
214
00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:43,213
- It sounded like
you said "no,"
215
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:44,547
But that can't be right
216
00:07:44,591 --> 00:07:47,258
Because it would result
in your immediate death.
217
00:07:47,344 --> 00:07:48,343
- Killassians,
218
00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:50,845
Will you worship deliria
if she kills me?
219
00:07:50,889 --> 00:07:53,264
Killassians: No! Hail science!
220
00:07:53,308 --> 00:07:55,391
- Turns out, you don't have
to be a god to be powerful.
221
00:07:55,477 --> 00:07:56,851
You just have to create one.
222
00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:58,436
Killassians: Hail science!
223
00:07:58,522 --> 00:08:03,149
- My life may be infinite,
but my patience is not.
224
00:08:03,276 --> 00:08:04,859
- You may not care
if I live or die,
225
00:08:04,903 --> 00:08:07,987
But my dad does,
and you love him.
226
00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,322
La la la.
227
00:08:09,407 --> 00:08:11,366
So I guess it's time
for you to become outraged
228
00:08:11,484 --> 00:08:13,701
And fake a mysterious reason
to leave.
229
00:08:13,745 --> 00:08:15,286
- I won't tolerate this
230
00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:19,541
Because I'm late
to make love to the moon.
231
00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:23,628
- Science demands
I take a bath,
232
00:08:23,788 --> 00:08:26,130
Which is more fun
with a friend.
233
00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:28,466
- All right!
234
00:08:28,552 --> 00:08:30,218
- [sighs]
235
00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:33,555
- I don't know
if this is helpful,
236
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:35,515
But depending on
when those goats were killed,
237
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,559
I may have been
at home masturbating.
238
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:40,353
It actually depends very little
on when they were killed.
239
00:08:40,397 --> 00:08:43,147
- Was it in front of a crowd
of reputable witnesses?
240
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:44,274
- Bless your heart, son.
241
00:08:44,317 --> 00:08:45,733
I'm not 100 anymore.
242
00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:47,318
- Dad, under my new system,
243
00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:49,696
You have the right
to say nothing.
244
00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:51,281
I'd like you to do that.
245
00:08:51,324 --> 00:08:53,366
- If I say nothing,
won't I look guilty?
246
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:55,702
- Not as much
as if you say anything.
247
00:08:55,787 --> 00:08:56,869
I've got a strategy.
248
00:08:56,955 --> 00:08:57,954
I'm going to convince everyone
249
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,080
You were accused
250
00:08:59,165 --> 00:09:01,624
Simply because
you are a monster.
251
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:02,709
[echoing boom]
252
00:09:02,836 --> 00:09:03,918
- Sorry I'm late.
253
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:05,753
I walked instead of flying.
254
00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:08,047
Last thing this city needs
is more panic.
255
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,507
- Excuse me!
256
00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:12,218
We can't just have
a sphinx wandering around.
257
00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:15,430
- The sphinx's name is brenda,
and I'm here
258
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:17,974
To represent the goat farmers
against your father.
259
00:09:18,059 --> 00:09:21,352
- Now you can't make us
look anti-monster.
260
00:09:21,396 --> 00:09:23,479
- Brenda, why?
This isn't who you are.
261
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,940
You love riddles.
- I loved one.
262
00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:28,443
It got solved,
and we all have to eat,
263
00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:31,154
Appropriately,
in normal quantities,
264
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:32,822
With human permission.
265
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:35,158
[humans cheering]
266
00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:37,243
- Everyone,
stop being loud and young!
267
00:09:37,329 --> 00:09:39,078
- Did you have
a backup strategy?
268
00:09:39,164 --> 00:09:41,164
- I did,
but it was basically
269
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:43,750
To double down
on the first one.
270
00:09:45,378 --> 00:09:48,171
As a trader of pottery,
you've seen a lot of stories
271
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:51,215
Painted on a lot of vases,
pots, and bowls, correct?
272
00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:54,010
- Well, of course.
That's why I got into ceramics.
273
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,136
I'm a news junkie.
274
00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,013
- And how many vases
have you seen
275
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,098
Depicting monsters
as innocent creatures?
276
00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:01,392
- [laughs] none.
- You're laughing about that.
277
00:10:01,478 --> 00:10:04,020
- Well, it's funny
to imagine a vase
278
00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:05,980
Showing a monster
helping someone.
279
00:10:06,149 --> 00:10:07,690
Nobody would want it.
280
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:11,527
- "nobody would want it."
281
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:12,695
Your expert.
282
00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:14,113
- Thank you.
283
00:10:14,157 --> 00:10:16,699
Do you ever keep old pottery?
284
00:10:16,785 --> 00:10:19,410
- Well, the older a vase gets,
the less valuable.
285
00:10:19,496 --> 00:10:22,705
But I do keep an archive
of stories that seem important.
286
00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:25,625
- Oh? Anything this court
might find enlightening?
287
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:28,795
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I sure did find something.
288
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,089
This bowl is centuries old.
289
00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:33,341
We can't know
what region this was,
290
00:10:33,426 --> 00:10:36,511
But you see here a monster
that looks like the accused.
291
00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:39,972
And these appear
to be human babies.
292
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:44,018
And then this would be
the accused eating the babies.
293
00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:45,144
[crowd gasps]
- oh, no.
294
00:10:45,188 --> 00:10:47,855
- Oh, that was mesopotamia.
295
00:10:47,899 --> 00:10:48,940
Or sumeria.
296
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,149
I get them confused.
297
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:52,068
One thing is for sure, though:
298
00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:54,612
I have gained weight.
299
00:10:58,410 --> 00:10:59,992
- Why didn't you tell me
you spent
300
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:02,036
Part of your life
eating babies?
301
00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:03,329
- I'm on trial
for eating goats.
302
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:04,914
It hardly seemed relevant.
303
00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:05,998
- Not to get us off track,
304
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,250
But what do they taste like?
305
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:08,543
- Do not answer that!
306
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:11,254
- Look, I spent some time
a thousand years ago
307
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:13,715
Imprisoned in a pit
by a tribe of humans
308
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,968
That refused to feed me
anything but their enemies.
309
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:19,053
- Who's enemies with babies?
310
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:21,431
- You know, human values
have a habit of drifting.
311
00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,391
It always starts with
"let's get rid of bad people"
312
00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:26,477
And somehow always ends up
with a baby pit.
313
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:29,188
Oh, honey, you're back.
I missed you.
314
00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:30,857
- What are you doing?
- Whoops.
315
00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:33,317
[crow squawks]
your loss, whoever you are.
316
00:11:33,403 --> 00:11:35,528
- I don't care what you do
with that slutty bird.
317
00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:38,072
I just need you
to do me a small favor.
318
00:11:38,158 --> 00:11:40,116
- Anything, my love.
- Kill your son.
319
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,076
- Okay,
but since he's defending me,
320
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,619
It might be a bit of an issue.
321
00:11:43,747 --> 00:11:46,080
- Not our son, your son.
322
00:11:46,124 --> 00:11:47,874
I'd do it,
but you know the rules.
323
00:11:47,917 --> 00:11:49,125
"you make 'em, you kill 'em."
324
00:11:49,169 --> 00:11:50,293
- Nobody's killing anyone.
325
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:51,961
What do you think
hippocampus did
326
00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,337
That would warrant his murder?
327
00:11:53,456 --> 00:11:56,007
- He took my killassians away
from me.
328
00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:57,300
- So what?
It's not like
329
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:58,968
You ever did anything
to earn their worship.
330
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,720
- You don't earn worship.
331
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:01,804
Then it's not worship.
332
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,931
If I had to do things
to get things,
333
00:12:03,975 --> 00:12:05,516
I'd be one of you things.
334
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,518
- Well, if people praised you
and never get anything for it,
335
00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:10,897
Doesn't it stand to reason
that they might stop?
336
00:12:11,024 --> 00:12:12,440
- Of course.
You're right.
337
00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:14,275
I don't have
to kill your brother.
338
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,110
I just have
to bribe everyone with gifts
339
00:12:16,154 --> 00:12:18,446
So they forget all
about that stupid science.
340
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,072
- That's not really
what I was saying.
341
00:12:20,158 --> 00:12:22,283
- Got what I wanted.
Not listening.
342
00:12:22,327 --> 00:12:24,160
- Okay, back
to what's actually important.
343
00:12:24,245 --> 00:12:25,995
Dad, I'm going
to lose this case,
344
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,330
And you're going to die.
345
00:12:27,373 --> 00:12:29,040
- Look, I know laws
just got invented,
346
00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:30,917
But I think your dad needs
to break a couple
347
00:12:31,002 --> 00:12:31,959
If he's gonna live.
348
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:32,960
- She's right.
349
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,212
I'll tell people you escaped.
350
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,839
Can you maul and trample me
a little?
351
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,090
Oh, in a way that doesn't hurt.
352
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:39,383
- I can't run now, son.
353
00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:40,927
Your people would kill you.
354
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,345
- They'll kill you if you stay.
355
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:46,182
- But legally, thanks to you.
356
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,684
- You're welcome?
357
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:53,105
- Someone in this city
killed the goats, folks,
358
00:12:53,149 --> 00:12:56,108
And someone in your city
used to eat babies.
359
00:12:56,152 --> 00:12:58,110
Not exactly a riddle.
360
00:12:58,154 --> 00:12:59,987
I'd know.
I'm a sphinx.
361
00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:01,197
You want to hear a riddle?
362
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:02,782
- Oh, god.
Here she goes.
363
00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:04,450
- What has four legs
in the morning,
364
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,828
Two legs at noon,
and three legs at night?
365
00:13:06,871 --> 00:13:10,915
Man because he crawls as a baby
and uses a cane when he's old.
366
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,291
Thank you.
- Ooh.
367
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:14,335
- That was a good riddle.
- Impressive.
368
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,670
- I'm not addressing
that riddle
369
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:18,089
Because it has nothing to do
with the trial.
370
00:13:18,132 --> 00:13:19,966
Also, not a great riddle.
371
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:20,883
- We liked her riddle.
372
00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:22,093
- It's clearly popular,
373
00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:23,719
Which is why
I won't criticize it,
374
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:26,973
But it's frustrating
when popular things are stupid.
375
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,349
- Come on.
- Crazy.
376
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:30,518
- The sphinx's riddle is
not on trial, young man.
377
00:13:30,562 --> 00:13:33,187
- No, it's not
and never has been.
378
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:35,356
Maybe it should've been.
[people grumbling]
379
00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:36,399
Moving on.
380
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:37,608
- Excuse me.
Not moving on.
381
00:13:37,694 --> 00:13:40,027
I want to know
what makes my riddle stupid.
382
00:13:40,113 --> 00:13:41,153
- I shouldn't have said that.
383
00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:44,198
That was rude,
and I'm sorry.
384
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:46,284
I just think
that a proper riddle
385
00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:48,452
Is a solvable
linguistic puzzle,
386
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,997
Like, what can be touched
but not seen?
387
00:13:50,999 --> 00:13:52,832
The heart.
388
00:13:53,668 --> 00:13:55,626
- Can we just find
his father guilty now?
389
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,962
- You don't wanna hear
his closing argument?
390
00:13:58,006 --> 00:13:59,297
- Kind of a waste of time.
391
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,340
- Yeah, this guy's time
is so important.
392
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:03,384
What are you, late to marry
an overrated riddle?
393
00:14:03,469 --> 00:14:05,344
[people booing]
394
00:14:06,514 --> 00:14:10,433
- Killassians,
deliria has returned.
395
00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:13,686
And I think you're going
to like what I brought with me.
396
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,187
- An air of desperation?
397
00:14:15,273 --> 00:14:17,815
- In my thousands of years
on this planet,
398
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:19,317
I have learned many things,
399
00:14:19,402 --> 00:14:23,613
But mostly how to properly
reward my worshippers.
400
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,823
So you're welcome.
401
00:14:25,909 --> 00:14:28,117
Ooh, honey.
402
00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:30,119
Yum, yum, yum.
403
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,413
- Bribery?
Isn't that beneath you?
404
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,415
- Not if it works.
- It won't.
405
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,875
You can offer them
anything you want,
406
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,919
But they won't take it.
407
00:14:38,004 --> 00:14:39,337
Asskill, wanna tell her why?
408
00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:41,964
- Science has opened our eyes
to amazing new concepts.
409
00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,716
I mean, the baths alone.
410
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:44,717
Right, bath buddy?
411
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:45,927
- Not in front of people.
412
00:14:46,012 --> 00:14:48,721
- You idiots really believe
this nonsense?
413
00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:51,390
I'm a god. I'm real.
414
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:53,225
- It's called faith,
stepmother,
415
00:14:53,311 --> 00:14:55,394
And it's much bigger than you.
416
00:14:55,438 --> 00:14:58,773
- But is it bigger
than sandals?
417
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,567
Shovels? Dairy cows?
418
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:03,361
Piles of hair?
419
00:15:03,404 --> 00:15:05,988
Killassians: All hail science!
420
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:07,698
- Shall we talk?
421
00:15:07,742 --> 00:15:09,367
- What do you want?
422
00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:12,078
- I want you
to let me call you mom.
423
00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:13,371
- What? Why?
424
00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:15,039
- Does it matter?
- No.
425
00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,832
Because it's never going
to happen.
426
00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:18,000
- Which is exactly why
427
00:15:18,044 --> 00:15:20,294
It's the only thing
I will accept.
428
00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:22,380
- You do realize
it won't mean anything.
429
00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:24,298
You can't make me love you.
430
00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:26,133
- Pfft, I don't want your love.
431
00:15:26,177 --> 00:15:27,259
I want power.
432
00:15:27,345 --> 00:15:29,553
You see,
every time I call you mom,
433
00:15:29,639 --> 00:15:31,681
You'll know I beat you.
434
00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:33,849
That's worth everything.
435
00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:35,768
- I am strangely impressed
436
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:38,312
By your cold,
unfeeling calculations.
437
00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:39,897
- I thought you might be.
- Fine.
438
00:15:39,983 --> 00:15:42,316
Because you are power-hungry
and have proven yourself
439
00:15:42,402 --> 00:15:45,152
A worthy adversary,
I will allow you this.
440
00:15:45,238 --> 00:15:47,321
- I know you will, mom.
441
00:15:47,365 --> 00:15:50,282
- Ooh, it's like being stabbed
in the ears.
442
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:53,452
Now can we finally get out
of this dusty hellhole?
443
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:56,455
- Absolutely.
I miss my bed and my lab.
444
00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:58,416
Plus, no matter
how much water they get,
445
00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:02,169
These people still smell
like half-dead muskrats.
446
00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:04,964
All hail science or whatever.
447
00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:06,757
Smell ya later!
448
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,093
What are you gonna do about
all your lost worshippers?
449
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:10,302
- Well, I'm not too worried.
450
00:16:10,388 --> 00:16:12,346
I have a feeling
they'll find their way back.
451
00:16:12,432 --> 00:16:13,931
I might not know
what humans like,
452
00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:15,850
But I know what they don't:
453
00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,685
Locusts!
454
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,145
[buzzing]
455
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:22,648
[people screaming]
456
00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:24,692
- And if a lifetime,
which is a series of days,
457
00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:26,193
Looks like a single day,
458
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,989
Your perspective is so distant
that a cane would be a leg,
459
00:16:30,074 --> 00:16:32,158
So it's not just
a jumble of metaphors.
460
00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:33,659
It's the best riddle ever,
461
00:16:33,703 --> 00:16:36,120
And I now understand
why people like it.
462
00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:37,246
Good enough?
463
00:16:38,499 --> 00:16:40,916
- All right, you may begin
your closing argument,
464
00:16:41,002 --> 00:16:42,960
But it better be good.
465
00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:46,130
- Fact: Your goats were eaten.
466
00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:49,592
Fact: My dad...
467
00:16:49,677 --> 00:16:51,385
- Ate babies.
468
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:54,722
- Stop telling everyone
you ate babies!
469
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,766
Stop talking.
470
00:16:56,851 --> 00:16:59,602
Everything you say is...
471
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,439
True.
472
00:17:03,566 --> 00:17:08,069
My father has never lied
in his life.
473
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:09,987
I should know.
474
00:17:10,031 --> 00:17:12,448
I grew up wishing he would.
475
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:17,369
I also grew up
constantly lying about him.
476
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:20,915
I told people
I didn't have a father.
477
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,209
I was ashamed of him
478
00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:24,960
Because he's shameless.
479
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,170
- It's true.
480
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,464
- We want to be good.
481
00:17:28,508 --> 00:17:31,884
We want
to set wrong things right.
482
00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:33,761
You know who else wanted that?
483
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:35,429
These guys.
484
00:17:35,515 --> 00:17:38,099
Chucking babies
into a monster's mouth.
485
00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,142
What happened here?
486
00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:42,728
If we asked these humans,
would they tell us,
487
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,231
Or would they say,
"it didn't happen that way.
488
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:47,024
"there's more to it than that.
489
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:48,234
"the babies were bigger.
490
00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:50,236
"they were
very dangerous babies.
491
00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:52,029
You had to be there.
Trust me"?
492
00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:54,824
Well, I don't trust them.
493
00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:56,742
They're too human.
494
00:17:56,828 --> 00:17:58,494
They mean too well.
495
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,496
And they want too much.
496
00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:04,041
And they lie too often.
497
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:06,836
Is there a reason
not to let this guy babysit?
498
00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:08,420
Yep.
499
00:18:08,506 --> 00:18:12,049
Are there reasons not to take
his grooming advice? Yes.
500
00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:13,717
When you look at him,
listen to him,
501
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,136
Or watch him do anything,
502
00:18:15,179 --> 00:18:17,721
Is it reasonable
to be disgusted?
503
00:18:17,807 --> 00:18:19,515
Maybe.
504
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:22,551
But there's no reason
to mistrust him.
505
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:26,021
He's never pretended
to be better than he is.
506
00:18:26,065 --> 00:18:28,816
That's me.
That's you.
507
00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:30,568
That's these guys.
508
00:18:30,653 --> 00:18:35,698
That's why humans have to be
extra careful about justice.
509
00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:37,116
We're too good at it.
510
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,369
And too wrong, too often.
511
00:18:40,997 --> 00:18:43,164
This guy ate babies.
512
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,624
He didn't eat your goats.
Thank you.
513
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:48,043
- Mm-hmm.
- Very impressive.
514
00:18:48,087 --> 00:18:49,420
- I'll tell you
what happened here.
515
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:53,215
One of these babies survived
and sired my ancestors.
516
00:18:53,301 --> 00:18:58,053
I am the last descendant
of the baby that got away.
517
00:18:58,139 --> 00:19:01,599
- Son,
this is a goat-eating trial.
518
00:19:01,684 --> 00:19:02,766
- No, you idiots!
519
00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,852
The whole point
of killing the goats
520
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:06,145
Was to make you understand
521
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,439
You're sheltering
an evil beast!
522
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,775
- Wait, are you saying
you killed our goats?
523
00:19:11,861 --> 00:19:12,776
- Look! Goats!
524
00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:14,904
[scared panting]
525
00:19:14,989 --> 00:19:16,071
- Let's go!
- Let's get him!
526
00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:17,114
- Come on!
- Get him!
527
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,158
- We find the monster innocent.
528
00:19:19,285 --> 00:19:20,784
Get the torches!
- Yeah!
529
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:21,744
[jury cheering]
530
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:26,123
- Go get him.
- [laughs evilly]
531
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:28,834
- Justice is hereby over.
Keeping the hammer.
532
00:19:28,878 --> 00:19:30,127
- Thank you, son.
533
00:19:30,171 --> 00:19:33,297
- You're welcome,
you baby-eating old bastard.
534
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:34,757
[crowd cheering]
- come on!
535
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,300
Get him!
- [sobbing]
536
00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:37,885
- Yeah!
- [grunts]
537
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,261
- Should they be doing that?
538
00:19:39,305 --> 00:19:41,180
Doesn't everybody
have rights now?
539
00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:43,265
- Yeah, everybody but that guy.
540
00:19:43,351 --> 00:19:45,351
Let's take the win.
- Congratulations.
541
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,644
I had a feeling
you were innocent.
542
00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:49,104
- Are you serious?
Then what the hell, brenda?
543
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:50,522
Why?
- I was hungry.
544
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,733
And they offered me
a lot of goat carcasses.
545
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:53,984
Hey, king tyrannis,
546
00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:55,986
What's a dick in the morning...
- Yep, that's okay.
547
00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:57,321
- And then at night?
- We get it.
548
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:58,572
- You.
- Oh, wow.
549
00:19:58,616 --> 00:20:00,199
Good thing you followed
all the way through.
550
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,868
- What can't hear a dick
over the sound of it leaving?
551
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:05,496
Brenda the legal sphinx!
552
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:08,749
[whoosh]
aah!
553
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,501
Both: Whoa!
- Holy!
554
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:11,585
- Did you see that?
555
00:20:11,671 --> 00:20:14,255
- Sphinx flying
just outside the city.
556
00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:16,340
- Mom got it!
- Mom, no!
557
00:20:16,384 --> 00:20:18,634
- Oh, he's just as much
my child as you two.
558
00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:19,927
- No, not that.
559
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:22,221
That was, uh--
we knew her.
560
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:24,223
- Well, she may be alive.
561
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,141
- She was making sounds
going down.
562
00:20:26,227 --> 00:20:29,228
Not good sounds,
but not no sounds.
563
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:31,230
- [sighs]
do I have to go and get her?
564
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:34,483
- No, we'll all
go get her together.
565
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:37,403
- So I have
to go get her slowly.
566
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,324
Ugh.
567
00:20:45,496 --> 00:20:47,329
- I say, darling,
do you ever think
568
00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:50,291
How lucky you are that you
don't have to bathe yourself?
569
00:20:50,376 --> 00:20:53,585
No washing your armpits
or legpits or wingpits
570
00:20:53,671 --> 00:20:54,753
Or your tailpit?
571
00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:56,755
- Can't say that I have.
572
00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:08,183
Have you quite finished?
573
00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,186
- Well, now I have
to start again.
574
00:21:11,272 --> 00:21:12,730
- Isn't it strange
575
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,732
How the things you once
found cute in a lover
576
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:18,235
Become the very things that
end up torturing you forever?
577
00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:20,696
- Well, I like the idea
of being loved forever.
578
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:22,781
- Then stop that.
579
00:21:26,704 --> 00:21:28,370
I like it too.
580
00:21:29,832 --> 00:21:31,248
- Did you get any of that?
581
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,336
- Bento.
[applause]
41803
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