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1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,669
Come on, Pete!
It's just ten bucks!
2
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:10,776
You want the money...
You get the lecture.
3
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,079
Fine... fine. Go ahead.
4
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,548
Okay.
5
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,865
What did the ant do, and
what did the grasshopper do?
6
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,954
The ant saved his bread crumbs.
7
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:23,990
Uh-huh.
8
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,291
And the grasshopper?
9
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,258
He played.
10
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:29,894
He played! He played!
11
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,298
And when winter time
came, who was better off?
12
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,166
Pete Dunville.
13
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,368
That's right! Pete Dunville.
14
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:41,807
And that's why I have nearly
300 dollars in my bank account,
15
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:44,276
and you have next to nothin'.
16
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,012
Thank you.
17
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,915
By the way, this came for
you. I opened it by accident.
18
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,762
They're, uh, they're
calling in your student loan
19
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,953
for 42,000 dollars.
20
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,456
Thanks for the ten.
21
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,625
Hey, look, look! A
limo just pulled up.
22
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,720
Oh, it's Johnny.
23
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,590
He's driving a limo
part-time for some extra cash.
24
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:32,991
It's awesome.
25
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,961
When he's off duty, we get
to play "Easy Prom Date."
26
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,129
Ooh!
27
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:38,830
Hi, sweetie.
28
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,265
Hey, baby.
29
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,633
Mwah!
30
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,136
This is, uh, for you, for later.
31
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,705
Oh...
32
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,675
Well, how about
tonight, for a change,
33
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,610
you wear the corsage,
and I'll be the driver?
34
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,661
Hey, Johnny, you are just
doing this for the money, right?
35
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,218
It's not so you can wear
that really goofy hat?
36
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,465
I know what you
mean. It's a stupid job.
37
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,933
I got to dress up
in this monkey suit.
38
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,491
Drive some stuffed shirt around,
for what? A lousy 100 bucks?
39
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,128
A 100 bucks?
40
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,997
Oh, why don't you get
Pete a job with you?
41
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:12,931
Well, I'm sure Pete doesn't...
42
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,846
Yeah, he would! Give me the hat!
43
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,247
Hey, guys. Have you
seen Ashley around?
44
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,236
No.
45
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:19,515
- Has she at least...?
- No.
46
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,019
- But...
- No!
47
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,019
- You looking for Ashley?
- Yeah.
48
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,209
I haven't seen her.
49
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,356
First, she drops this bomb on me
50
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,592
about her
long-distance boyfriend,
51
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:29,816
and now she's hiding from me.
52
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,629
This is just like when Meg
Ryan wouldn't talk to Billy Crystal
53
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,730
in "When Harry met Sally."
54
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:34,552
Oh, yeah.
55
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,920
Well, what happened?
56
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,223
He was everything she
thought she hated in a man.
57
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,769
And he kept hounding
her, bothering her,
58
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,127
making her life a
living, breathing hell
59
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,663
until he finally just
broke her spirit.
60
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,799
Oh, God, it was so romantic.
61
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,235
Hey, you know what?
62
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,715
I really agree with
Billy Crystals' theory
63
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,059
that men and women can't
be friends without having sex.
64
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,212
So, wh... what
exactly are you saying?
65
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:02,889
What are you saying?
66
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:05,743
I'm saying, I'm
saying, I'm saying...
67
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,219
I'm saying...
68
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,521
Look, something shiny.
69
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,826
Jessica, listen...
70
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,940
If it's about Ashley, I don't
want to get in the middle of it.
71
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,697
Look at me, okay?
72
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,668
I can't eat. I can't
sleep. I'm a wreck.
73
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,104
I mean, sure, I still look
good, but that's just genetics.
74
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,540
Look, I need your
help, all right?
75
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,654
- She's at her gym.
- Thank you!
76
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,160
- Ashley.
- Hey, Berg.
77
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:39,184
Where you been?
78
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,429
You've been
avoiding me all week.
79
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,264
No, I haven't been avoiding you.
80
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,167
Now, um, please don't follow me.
81
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,123
Listen, we need
to talk about this.
82
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,302
- No, I can't.
- Why?
83
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,026
If I talk to you, then...
84
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,695
then you're gonna make
one of your dumb jokes.
85
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,932
And... and then you gonna give
me one of those pathetic looks
86
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,135
with... those big,
brown, puppy-dog eyes.
87
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,205
It's, it's like you
make me feel like...
88
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,441
You, you, you make
me feel... Like...
89
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,887
dancing?
90
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,044
There. Stop that.
91
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,879
Why are you fighting this?
92
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,448
Because, Berg, I have
had something with Justin
93
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:11,816
for three years.
94
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,596
I... I can't just throw that
all away on something
95
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,664
that might turn out to be...
96
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,655
The... love of your life.
97
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,658
Or a short-lived fling.
98
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,960
I... At least, with
Justin I know it's real.
99
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,273
Oh, oh, you mean
real, like, how he notices
100
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,631
the way you eat
your pizza crust first?
101
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,667
Or, uh...
102
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,482
Or, or how you wear
your, your red sweatshirt
103
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,007
inside out to hide coffee
stain on the shoulder?
104
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,510
Or ma... maybe, uh...
105
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,690
The way you slip
off your right shoe
106
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:41,834
when you're taking a test
107
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,184
and you just let it... let it
dangle back and forth...
108
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,454
Back and forth...
109
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:51,923
You noticed that?
110
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,058
That's why I
failed our last quiz.
111
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,674
And I suppose Justin's
more real than me
112
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,858
because he found you first.
113
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,834
But I have just one
question for you, Ashley.
114
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,603
If what you have is so real,
115
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,375
how can he be away
from you for five months,
116
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,978
when I can't stand to be
away from you for five minutes?
117
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,248
This is so unfair.
118
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,486
I... I don't think
this is a good idea.
119
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,722
I think it is.
120
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,301
Damn.
121
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,372
I was hoping it
wouldn't be that good.
122
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,049
Okay, I got to go.
123
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,690
Yes!
124
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,766
Here we are, Ma'am.
Bayside Country Club.
125
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:12,036
Oh, I dread these
charity events.
126
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,674
Same-old crusty blue-hairs.
Same-old prime rib.
127
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,409
Mmm... I love prime rib.
128
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,177
Really?
129
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:25,416
Well, maybe you would
like to join me for a nibble?
130
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:31,055
Oh, Mrs. Ryecart, are
you flirting with me?
131
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,224
I'm harmless.
132
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,028
There'll be a
big tip in it for ya.
133
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:37,995
Really?
134
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,830
Plus, you have nice shoulders.
135
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,533
And if you stand up,
136
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:44,836
I can see what
your butt looks like.
137
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,576
Here's the iron.
138
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,944
Thank you.
139
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:53,645
Oh, you're not going to use
it to make grilled cheese?
140
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,812
No.
141
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,881
So, you're still drivin'?
142
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,861
It must have gone
pretty well last night.
143
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,685
Yeah, I made 300 bucks.
144
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,020
Whoa! How many
people did you drive?
145
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,291
Uh, just one. She was
a rich, lonely widow.
146
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:11,629
A rich, very generous,
lonely, lonely widow,
147
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:16,234
who was happy to have somebody
to share a conversation with...
148
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,302
And a waltz.
149
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,539
You waltzed with her?
150
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,607
Yeah, and a couple of tangos.
151
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,376
And she tipped you 300 dollars?
152
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,444
Yeah.
153
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,578
My, God, Pete.
154
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,680
You're a hooker!
155
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,118
It was completely
innocent. And, besides...
156
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,286
I am free to spend time
with whoever I want,
157
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:38,089
at whatever price
the market will bear.
158
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:39,290
Hey, guys.
159
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:40,892
No, we haven't seen her.
160
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,293
Well, that's okay. I have.
161
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,006
I, uh, caught up
to her last night.
162
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,098
We... we talked a little
and... and then we kissed.
163
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,878
No way.
164
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:49,634
Yes, way.
165
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,470
Oh, finally. Oh, God!
166
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,039
Oh, oh, I'm so happy for you!
167
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,006
Everybody's in love!
168
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,852
You and Ashley. Me and Johnny.
169
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,610
Pete and his tricks.
170
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,414
Clients. They're called clients.
171
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,527
You know, it...
it... it was amazing.
172
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,791
It was... it was everything
I thought it would be.
173
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,631
It was exciting. It
was passionate...
174
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,855
Right up until she ran away.
175
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,403
Well, you need to get
over to Ashley's right now.
176
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,427
Why is that?
177
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,573
'Cause she's feeling
guilty for that kiss.
178
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,929
God, if I know her,
179
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,897
she's sitting at home right now
180
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,866
thinking about
her poor boyfriend
181
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,034
and how she betrayed him.
182
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,269
Wh... wh... what should I do?
183
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,449
Do, do what Richard
Gere did in "Pretty Woman."
184
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,251
Get dressed up.
Get two dozen roses.
185
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,376
And show up at her
building in a limousine.
186
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,810
You think that'll work?
187
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,645
Every woman wants the fantasy.
188
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,714
Give her the fantasy, Berg!
189
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:38,750
Pete...
190
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,253
Will you drive the fantasy?
191
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,043
I can't. I can't.
I'm fully booked.
192
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,992
All right, fine, fine.
193
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,929
But nobody laughs if Mrs.
Ryecart calls me "kitten."
194
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:06,811
Thanks, kitten.
195
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:13,418
How do I look?
196
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,331
Oh, you put Richard
Gere to shame.
197
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,099
- Look, I'm shaking.
- All right, all right.
198
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,123
Calm down, okay?
199
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,089
All right, now, knock her dead.
200
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,291
Okay.
201
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,793
Ashley?
202
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,762
Pete, when are we
gonna get going?
203
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,965
All right, all right.
In a minute, Marge.
204
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,178
My friends are getting
a little impatient.
205
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,169
Hi! Okay, girls, look...
206
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:32,749
I told you it would
just be a few minutes,
207
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,183
then we're off to
the gambling barge.
208
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,274
All right, watch your faces.
209
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,810
Ashley!
210
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,245
Ashley!
211
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,680
Would you shut up?
212
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:46,117
Excuse me, but this is
a private conversation.
213
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,386
Ashley!
214
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,223
Berg... BERG: Jessica.
215
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,558
I need... I need to
speak with Ashley.
216
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:55,760
She's not home.
217
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,029
Well, are you being serious,
218
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,342
or are you just
covering for her?
219
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,565
I'm betting she's covering.
220
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,802
Berg, I really,
really don't want
221
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,136
to get in the middle of this.
222
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:08,339
That's it! I'm coming up
there, and nothing can stop me!
223
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,511
Would you mind buzzing me in?
224
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,025
Look, I'm not supposed
to say anything,
225
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,289
but she left town this morning.
226
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:18,616
What... what do you mean?
227
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,685
She was really upset. She...
228
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,053
She went to Oxford.
229
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,154
Why?
230
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,256
To... see someone.
231
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,026
Someone?
232
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,729
You... you mean her boyfriend?
233
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,130
Sorry, Berg.
234
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,566
I was rootin' for ya.
235
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,801
Me, too.
236
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,108
She's gone.
237
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,244
Well, it's not over!
238
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,246
It's not looking very good.
239
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,256
Come on, Berg. She'll be back.
240
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,618
She picked... him, Sharon.
241
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,086
That's it?
242
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,633
You're giving up just like that?
243
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,957
What am I supposed to do, huh?
244
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,425
Do you love her, Berg?
245
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,360
Yes, I do.
246
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,461
No.
247
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,063
Do you really love her?
248
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,309
Or do you just
think you love her
249
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,965
because you can't have her?
250
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,044
I don't... I don't know.
251
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,948
Well, you need to find that out.
252
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,648
How? How? How do I do that?
253
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,373
Go after her! God!
254
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:16,841
This is one of those moments
255
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,520
you're gonna look
back in 30 years
256
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,478
and see it changed your life.
257
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,982
Now, you may be looking
back with Ashley or without her.
258
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,895
But do you really want
to look back wondering,
259
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:26,985
"What if"?
260
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,253
Listen to her.
261
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,755
That blonde knows
what she's talking about.
262
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,823
Marge, get back in the car!
263
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,962
Let's go home, Pete.
264
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,031
All right. Sure.
265
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,565
Yeah, yeah.
266
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,868
I need to get my passport
if I'm flying to England.
267
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,381
Yes! Yes!
268
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,639
Good answer! Good
answer! Good answer!
269
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,525
So, I mean, how are you
gonna track down Ashley?
270
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,293
I mean, England's
a pretty big country.
271
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,594
Well, I... I know her
boyfriend's name,
272
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,851
and I know he goes to Oxford.
273
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,726
- Oh...
- It's a piece of cake.
274
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,155
Uh-oh.
275
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,391
What?
276
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,525
Oh, no, nothing...
277
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:09,794
Oh, I do.
278
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,097
Tell me, wh... What
were you thinking?
279
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,810
All right. I was
just thinking...
280
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,434
You know, what if you
barged into his dorm room,
281
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,549
and they were both,
like, standing there...
282
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,071
Naked?
283
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,939
Thank you.
284
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,919
Now I can just think about
that on the long flight over.
285
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,654
Well, I told you you
didn't want to know.
286
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,123
All right, I got
you a few things,
287
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,390
like toothpaste, razors, shav...
288
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,480
Come on, Sharon.
289
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:30,960
You already
bought me the ticket.
290
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,751
You didn't have to... Condoms?
291
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,388
Oh, oh, those are
from Mrs. Ryecart.
292
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,390
In London, they're
called "hats".
293
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,140
This is the final boarding call
294
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,197
for flight 405 to London.
295
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,133
All right. Well, that's me.
296
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,602
Okay. Ashley doesn't know
it yet, but she is so lucky.
297
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,517
- Make us proud, okay?
- All right.
298
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,040
Pete?
299
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,508
Ah, Berg, thank God.
300
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:58,842
What is it?
301
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,089
The captain told me
it was an emergency.
302
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,890
Yeah, um, when
you get to England,
303
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:05,083
could you pick me up one of
those Big Ben Snow Globes?
304
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,526
Uh, is this Campbell Hall?
305
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,127
Yes.
306
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,429
Great. Look, um...
307
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,666
I need you to call
Justin Thompson for me.
308
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,646
Oh, I'm sorry,
sir, I can't do that.
309
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,710
Look, look, I flew
all night from Boston
310
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,938
to find the woman I
love and win her back.
311
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,641
If you have an ounce
of romance in you,
312
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:33,110
you'll pick up that
phone and make that call.
313
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:37,515
You didn't let me finish.
I can't do that because...
314
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,350
he's not here.
315
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,130
He took his
girlfriend on holiday
316
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,074
to the Isle of
Wight this morning.
317
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:46,224
The Isle of Wight?
318
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:47,624
Okay, thanks.
319
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,561
Unless it was Bath.
320
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,298
I know it was one of those two.
321
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,834
The Isle of Wight or Bath?
322
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:57,869
Thank you.
323
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,083
You can definitely rule
out Stratford. I know that.
324
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,140
Oh, wait a minute.
325
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,074
That's sounding familiar.
326
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,377
Maybe it sounds familiar...
327
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:09,414
because that's where
they said they were going.
328
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,815
Let me think.
329
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,786
"Cheerio, Lucy,
we're off to Stratford."
330
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,356
No, that wasn't it.
331
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,366
Is there a hotel he
might be staying in?
332
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,930
He only stays at
the Four Seasons.
333
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:30,200
Uh, Isle of Wight, Bath,
Four Seasons, thank you.
334
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,604
Or is it the Intercontinental?
335
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,826
Wrong.
336
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,198
Because of you...
337
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,633
I was on a boat all night...
338
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,203
had my pocket picked in Bath...
339
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,116
But that was okay,
because, thank God,
340
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,374
I had that 20
stashed in my sock.
341
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,320
'Cause that, you know,
at least got me a cab ride
342
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,978
to the middle of "West
Freakin' Nowhere"!
343
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,649
So, please, for the love of God,
344
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:22,953
tell me where I can
find Justin Thompson!
345
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:28,493
It turns out they're not going
on holiday until tomorrow.
346
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,727
Oopsie.
347
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,696
Then, where is he?
348
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,531
Right behind you.
349
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,266
It's your lucky day.
350
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,106
Are you Justin Thompson?
351
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,141
Yes.
352
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,777
My, my name is
Berg. Michael Bergan.
353
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,358
I'm in love with
your girlfriend,
354
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,682
and I'm pretty sure
she's in love with me.
355
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:52,985
What?
356
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:54,018
Yeah.
357
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,319
Wendy!
358
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,255
Wendy, get over here!
359
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:02,760
Wendy?
360
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,392
Is that, like,
British for "Ashley"?
361
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,769
You know, like
condoms are "hats".
362
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,207
Uh, Pete, I... I couldn't
find her anywhere.
363
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,254
I know. Ashley's back.
She came in looking for you.
364
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:19,943
What?
365
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,479
Okay, all right.
366
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,791
Well, pick me up at
the airport in the limo.
367
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,055
We're going over to Ashley's.
368
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,155
Thanks for the lift.
369
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,524
I hope you're all
nice and cozy in there.
370
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,693
Don't worry about me.
371
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,202
I'm sure some day
my nipples will soften.
372
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,277
I told you, we're not
supposed to use the limousine
373
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,234
for personal
matters, right, Pete?
374
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,570
He just doesn't listen, Johnny.
375
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,009
Ah, this is just
like in the movies.
376
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,511
You got anything to eat?
377
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,279
Ah, yeah, there's some, uh,
378
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,925
Junior Mints in the
glove compartment.
379
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,815
Oh... And pass me
the licorice whips.
380
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,685
Ashley!
381
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,991
Ashley!
382
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,960
Hey! It's you!
383
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,035
How you doing, buddy?
384
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,095
Uh...
385
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:12,996
I'm kind of in the middle
of something here.
386
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,231
Oh, right.
387
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,101
- Ashley!
- Ashley!
388
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,005
Berg?
389
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,773
Ashley.
390
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,340
Hey, I'm glad you came.
391
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,976
The suspense is killing me!
392
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,286
What did Ashley say?
393
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,234
God, I didn't hear
what she said.
394
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,583
Yeah, I don't really
like sitting this close.
395
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,097
I've been wanting
to talk to you.
396
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,353
No, no. Um...
397
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,569
Let me say
something first, okay?
398
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,893
I know... I know that you
think that I'm this big flake
399
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,808
and... and maybe
I deserve that...
400
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,065
And... and if you want to
be with Justin instead of me
401
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,568
because you love
him, then that's fine.
402
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,539
But, Ashley, if
you're choosing him
403
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,586
because you think what we have
404
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,744
is less serious or
less real, then...
405
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,612
then you're wrong.
406
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,413
You're dead wrong.
407
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,850
And I went all the way
to England to prove that.
408
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,219
Why would you fly to England?
409
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,854
I followed you to Oxford.
410
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,860
What's so funny?
411
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,011
Um...
412
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:24,869
Justin teaches at Old Miss.
I was in Oxford, Mississippi.
413
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,405
Mississippi?
414
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:32,609
Um... That's like
nowhere near England.
415
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,615
Oh, God, I am...
416
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,350
such a bonehead.
417
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:43,154
Such an incredibly
in-debt bonehead.
418
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:46,601
Actually, I think that's one
of the most romantic things
419
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,858
I've ever heard.
420
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,874
Well, why do you think I did it?
421
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,476
Listen, Berg, I'm coming down.
422
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,532
Okay.
423
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,300
I'm confused.
424
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,747
So, did Ashley go
to England or not?
425
00:18:58,771 --> 00:18:59,436
No.
426
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,371
She went to Mississippi.
427
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,408
- There's two Oxfords!
- Oh...
428
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,578
Okay.
429
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:09,773
Do you think this is a good
time to go to the bathroom?
430
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,090
- Hey.
- Hey.
431
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,952
Listen, Berg, I, um...
432
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,521
I went to Mississippi
to tell Justin
433
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,390
that I didn't think this
long-distance relationship
434
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,958
was working out, and, um...
435
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,827
He agreed with me.
436
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,095
- He did?
- Yeah.
437
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,130
He... he did?
438
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,665
He did!
439
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,502
That's great. Oh...
No, um, no, it's not.
440
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:32,537
He, um...
441
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,972
He's moving to Boston.
442
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,007
I...
443
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,777
I... I really feel like I owe
it to him to give it a try.
444
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,379
Oh...
445
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:44,948
I see.
446
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:46,950
Berg...
447
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,053
No, no, I'm... I'm okay.
448
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,627
- I'm sorry.
- No.
449
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,097
You know...
450
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,910
This is the worst
movie I've ever seen.
451
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,846
Want a tissue?
452
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,889
No, I'm cool.
453
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,554
Oh, don't look at me.
454
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,556
Oh, honey!
455
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,543
- Hey.
- Hey.
456
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,004
You know what, Berg?
457
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,717
If you say the words
"character building"...
458
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,141
No, no, no.
459
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:46,543
You owe me three
thousand dollars.
460
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,115
No, I'm good.
461
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:55,920
You know what, though, I...
462
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,649
I feel sorry for this Justin
guy 'cause... 'cause now...
463
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,436
now he's going to
have to compete with me
464
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,027
on my home turf.
465
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,263
Let's get out of here.
466
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,865
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
467
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,475
Oh, hey. Don't look at Johnny.
468
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,804
He's a mess.
469
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,964
We're looking for
a Pete Dunville.
470
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,212
Yeah, that's me.
471
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,113
I'm Dave Ryecart.
472
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,349
This is Stanley Babcock
and Richard Webber.
473
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,685
I believe you know our wives.
474
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,157
Uh-oh.
475
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,126
She told me you were dead.
476
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:38,895
Clearly, we're not.
477
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,905
And we're very
interested in those little
478
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,634
midnight rides of yours.
479
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,002
Oh, no, no, no, no.
480
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,071
Look, I swear to God,
nothing happened.
481
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,685
All right? I'll never
take them out again.
482
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,476
Actually, we'd like you to
take them out more often.
483
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,548
Especially on Tuesdays
and Thursdays.
484
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,417
That's when we go to "Hooters".
33180
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