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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Oh, shit.
2
00:00:10,356 --> 00:00:12,149
I heard it.
3
00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:14,355
I'm sorry.
4
00:00:15,889 --> 00:00:17,141
What time is it?
5
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:20,103
- It's five.
- Oh, fuck.
6
00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:21,605
I didn't go to sleep till four.
7
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:24,150
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, come back to bed.
8
00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:25,778
- I can't.
- What?
9
00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:27,990
I have an early class.
10
00:00:28,081 --> 00:00:30,375
If I don't go home
first and wake Brady up,
11
00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:32,257
- he'll sleep all day.
- Sleep all day.
12
00:00:32,258 --> 00:00:34,115
That sounds so good.
13
00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:35,945
Shh. Go to sleep.
14
00:00:35,946 --> 00:00:37,405
I'll be outta here in two minutes.
15
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- Ow!
- Oh, my God.
16
00:00:39,955 --> 00:00:42,359
Shit... Sorry.
17
00:00:43,063 --> 00:00:45,065
Fuck.
18
00:01:10,077 --> 00:01:11,939
Morning, pumpkin!
19
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I got our pumpkin.
20
00:01:15,049 --> 00:01:17,885
Oh, and there's, um...
21
00:01:18,589 --> 00:01:20,466
there's pancakes.
22
00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:22,989
Not pumpkin. Dropped the ball there.
23
00:01:23,014 --> 00:01:25,058
Mom, I told you, you don't have
to come all the way over here
24
00:01:25,059 --> 00:01:26,640
every morning just to make me breakfast.
25
00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:28,632
I know, but I like it.
26
00:01:28,685 --> 00:01:31,054
And the two of you
would starve if I didn't.
27
00:01:31,585 --> 00:01:35,422
Hey, so, after you eat, you
wanna help me decorate the stoop?
28
00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,055
We can't be the only house on the block
29
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,557
with no Halloween spirit.
30
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Isn't this house already scary enough?
31
00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:45,103
Oh, oh, oh.
32
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,401
Charlotte is going to kill us
33
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:52,238
for not wearing costumes
to her fundraiser.
34
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I am wearing a costume.
35
00:01:54,672 --> 00:01:56,590
I'm Helen Gurley Brown,
writer and founder
36
00:01:56,591 --> 00:02:00,452
of "Cosmopolitan" magazine, circa 1970.
37
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,632
Oh... I just thought you were you.
38
00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:08,137
When have you ever seen me
wear bows in my hair like this?
39
00:02:08,138 --> 00:02:10,141
I don't know. Wednesday?
40
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:14,261
It's gonna be an early night for me.
41
00:02:14,262 --> 00:02:17,265
I've lost all my sleep in the
Bermuda Schlepping Triangle
42
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:20,180
between Che's apartment,
Brooklyn, and Columbia,
43
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,309
so I'm wrecked and in a terrible mood.
44
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,728
Now see, you did come in a costume.
45
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- You came as a giant bummer.
- Yeah.
46
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,108
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thanks for having us.
47
00:02:30,654 --> 00:02:33,561
- Guys!
- Hi!
48
00:02:33,561 --> 00:02:36,230
- It's a costume party!
- I'm Helen Gurley Brown.
49
00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:39,484
I have seen you wear that dress
before. It is not a costume.
50
00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:41,869
Charlotte, did you really
think I was gonna come as Belle
51
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,123
- from "Beauty and the Beast"?
- I knew this would be an issue.
52
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,501
- So...
- Ooh.
53
00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:50,380
I've come as the comic
disaster that is my life.
54
00:02:50,381 --> 00:02:52,289
For the record, you're
not in a costume either.
55
00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,332
- Yeah.
- Yes, I am! I'm Elizabeth Jennings.
56
00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,914
You know, from "The Americans."
57
00:02:57,915 --> 00:03:00,042
No, still think it's you.
58
00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:01,680
Okay, wait. You have to see us together.
59
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,892
Harry! Honey, honey, come here.
60
00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:06,977
Oh-ho! Okay, yes!
61
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:10,690
Now we know it's not you
'cause Harry has hair.
62
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,818
We are a husband and wife team
63
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,697
of Russian spies in the '80s.
64
00:03:15,698 --> 00:03:19,327
I'm Keri Russell, and
he is Matthew Rhys.
65
00:03:19,328 --> 00:03:22,915
See? I have smokey
eye, hair on one side.
66
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,500
- Huh.
- Mm.
67
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,382
Babe, how come nobody's gettin' this?
68
00:03:27,383 --> 00:03:28,884
I-I've no idea what
you're talkin' about,
69
00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:31,024
but I am totally on
board with Harry's hair.
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00:03:31,025 --> 00:03:33,898
Right?! Right?
This is me in eighth grade!
71
00:03:50,571 --> 00:03:54,075
If one more foodie asks if I'm
supposed to be Padma Lakshmi,
72
00:03:54,076 --> 00:03:56,495
I will file a class-action lawsuit.
73
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,923
Okay, we have a winner.
74
00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:03,094
Thank you. Gettin'
my little Eartha Kitt on.
75
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:05,889
And for what? Not one fine man here.
76
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:08,539
Sweetie... complete waste of Lycra.
77
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,710
It's a charity event with
all married men and dad bods.
78
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:14,631
I saw a, a Captain Jack Sparrow
over there. He's kinda hot.
79
00:04:14,632 --> 00:04:16,633
I saw him, too. He's a woman.
80
00:04:16,634 --> 00:04:17,968
Well, I need a man.
81
00:04:17,969 --> 00:04:19,387
And my free one-month subscription
82
00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:21,223
in Chocolate Singles
only got me cyber-stalked
83
00:04:21,224 --> 00:04:23,017
by a white guy named Jeff.
84
00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:25,179
- So, white chocolate?
- And we all know
85
00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:29,211
white chocolate isn't real.
Fret not, I will take you to the place
86
00:04:29,212 --> 00:04:31,381
- to meet single men.
- Oh! Which is?
87
00:04:31,382 --> 00:04:33,047
A sperm bank? A monastery?
88
00:04:33,048 --> 00:04:34,398
A Marvel movie?
89
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,610
A five-star hotel bar.
90
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:38,779
Super expensive rooms,
so you know he has coin,
91
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:41,408
and deadbeats aren't allowed
to wander in off the street.
92
00:04:41,409 --> 00:04:43,744
- Huh.
- So, what do you say, Carrie?
93
00:04:43,745 --> 00:04:45,937
Do we show this newbie the ropes?
94
00:04:46,612 --> 00:04:48,113
Yeah, sure. I'm in.
95
00:04:48,114 --> 00:04:51,117
- Yay!
- You are?! Wow!
96
00:04:51,342 --> 00:04:54,262
- I'm kinda surprised.
- "I'm a mouse on the outside,
97
00:04:54,263 --> 00:04:57,349
but inside, I'm this tiger,
and I have to get on with it."
98
00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:59,519
It's a quote from Helen Gurley Brown.
99
00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:06,773
♪ Yeah, just keep it on the down low ♪
100
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,902
♪ Said nobody is supposed to know ♪
101
00:05:09,903 --> 00:05:11,280
I'm out.
102
00:05:11,423 --> 00:05:13,383
You finally made it!
103
00:05:13,424 --> 00:05:17,281
You are one lucky Frankenstein.
104
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:19,117
Thanks.
105
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,854
Why did I go through the trouble
106
00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:24,156
of renting you a very expensive
George Washington outfit
107
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,451
- and you don't even wear it?
- Baby, this is a public event.
108
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:29,413
I didn't wanna end up on
Page Six in a powdered wig.
109
00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:30,915
Also, not great press optics,
110
00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:32,460
you dirty dancing with the Devil.
111
00:05:32,461 --> 00:05:33,713
Well, hon', he's gay.
112
00:05:33,714 --> 00:05:35,382
People don't know that.
113
00:05:35,383 --> 00:05:37,503
He knew the Left Eye, the T-Boz,
114
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,798
and the Chilli parts
verbatim. They know.
115
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,749
Well, it wasn't very dignified.
116
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:45,087
And besides, this political
run was your idea, remember?
117
00:05:45,088 --> 00:05:48,717
Well, it wasn't my idea for
you to lose all sense of fun.
118
00:05:48,718 --> 00:05:52,124
It's Halloween. Loosen up a bit.
119
00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:55,904
It was on FX for seven seasons.
120
00:05:55,905 --> 00:05:58,866
It won countless Emmys. And a Peabody.
121
00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:01,119
- Hm.
- I look exactly like her.
122
00:06:03,036 --> 00:06:05,848
Oh, like Batman is so original.
123
00:06:13,992 --> 00:06:17,996
Hail Spartacus! I'd recognize
those thighs anywhere.
124
00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:21,403
Straightest party ever.
125
00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:23,031
We're the only two gay guys here.
126
00:06:23,511 --> 00:06:25,358
Anthony, from the gym.
127
00:06:26,328 --> 00:06:27,997
Still can't place me?
128
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:32,229
Imagine my hand surrounded
by a lotta steam.
129
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:34,399
Uh, this is my wife.
130
00:06:38,461 --> 00:06:40,092
Uh-huh.
131
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,975
Yeah, straight guy with abs like that.
132
00:06:46,662 --> 00:06:49,956
♪ She's a very kinky girl ♪
133
00:06:49,973 --> 00:06:51,861
♪ The kind you don't
take home to mother ♪
134
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,989
Are you really going
to a hotel bar
135
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:55,658
to look for men?
136
00:06:55,659 --> 00:06:58,662
Well... if you want a man in your life,
137
00:06:58,663 --> 00:07:02,083
ya can't just sit home and
wait for him to come to you.
138
00:07:02,084 --> 00:07:04,725
All right, Helen Gurley Brown.
139
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:08,358
Actually, that one was me.
140
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:12,389
♪ When I make my move to her
room, it's the right time ♪
141
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,894
♪ She's never hard to please, oh, no ♪
142
00:07:15,895 --> 00:07:17,981
♪ That girl is pretty wild now ♪
143
00:07:17,982 --> 00:07:19,796
♪ The girl's a super freak ♪
144
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:30,366
The British are coming.
145
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:33,827
- That's Paul Revere.
- Oh, I know,
146
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,747
but the founding father
never said anything famous
147
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,944
with the word "coming" in it, so...
148
00:07:38,643 --> 00:07:40,812
just go with it.
149
00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:43,780
You look bizarrely hot.
150
00:07:43,781 --> 00:07:46,428
Mm-hmm.
151
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:50,444
Oh, but before we get down
to business, Mr. President,
152
00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:53,073
I know you're running for
City Comptroller and all,
153
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:56,286
but you don't get to "comptroll" me.
154
00:07:57,946 --> 00:08:00,202
The message from the councilwoman
155
00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:01,788
on the comforter...
156
00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,741
- is received.
- You sure?
157
00:08:04,742 --> 00:08:05,952
Oh, yes.
158
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,229
And I cannot tell a lie.
159
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,191
Oh, oh!
160
00:08:10,192 --> 00:08:12,570
- Don't, don't touch my hair.
- Oh.
161
00:08:13,224 --> 00:08:14,851
Isn't that what you always say?
162
00:08:14,852 --> 00:08:17,063
Huh? Oh.
163
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,624
Nobody can challenge him
if he has the capability
164
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,459
to launch America's nuclear arsenal.
165
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:25,005
What more do you need?
A written manifesto?
166
00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:28,259
This show is brilliant.
Everyone's insane.
167
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:31,097
Mom, Dad, you will not
believe what just happened!
168
00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:32,469
Can it wait till after this scene?
169
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,639
No. I was at the park,
and I landed an ollie,
170
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,808
and this cool guy came up
to me and said I was awesome,
171
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:39,308
and wanted to know if I
ever thought about modeling.
172
00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:41,104
W-What are you saying? What cool guy?
173
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,648
At the park. He wants you to call him.
174
00:08:42,649 --> 00:08:44,901
We are not callin' some
creep from the park.
175
00:08:44,902 --> 00:08:46,960
No, we certainly are not.
176
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,085
Oh, my God.
177
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:50,738
This... I-I... This is Ralph Lauren.
178
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,490
This guy works for Ralph Lauren?
179
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,199
You know who else
works for Ralph Lauren?
180
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,993
Me, as soon as I go to Kinko's
181
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,522
and make a bunch of fake business cards.
182
00:08:57,523 --> 00:08:59,538
This is embossed
183
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,538
with the Ralph Lauren logo.
184
00:09:01,539 --> 00:09:03,542
It's his real logo!
185
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,545
Please, please, please,
please can we call him?!
186
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,757
- It'd be so awesome!
- It is a scam.
187
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,551
You think some guy hangin'
around a bunch of kids
188
00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:12,967
at a skate park is scoutin' models?
189
00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:16,387
Honey, this show has made you paranoid.
190
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:18,224
What's the harm in calling?
191
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,394
Because if this guy really
works for Ralph Lauren,
192
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,522
then he works for Ralph Lauren!
193
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,727
- Go, Mom!
- You know, in high school,
194
00:09:25,728 --> 00:09:27,630
I was a model at the mall.
195
00:09:27,631 --> 00:09:29,174
And guess who I wore?
196
00:09:29,175 --> 00:09:30,593
Ralph Lauren.
197
00:09:30,594 --> 00:09:32,596
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
198
00:09:34,177 --> 00:09:36,846
Last time I went to
a bar to meet a man...
199
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,202
my phone folded.
200
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,203
- Hmm.
- Mm.
201
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,630
Last time I went to a bar
to meet a man was, um...
202
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:44,455
never.
203
00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:45,918
- How is that possible?
- What?
204
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,212
Andre and I started dating
205
00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:48,673
when I was a junior in college,
206
00:09:48,674 --> 00:09:51,135
and I met my high school
boyfriend at Model U.N.
207
00:09:51,136 --> 00:09:53,638
Always wondered who did Model U.N.
208
00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:55,427
So, by my calculations,
209
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,430
you've only seen two dicks.
210
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,726
I saw more than that last
time I was on the subway.
211
00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:03,461
Do those count? Well,
then I've seen three.
212
00:10:03,462 --> 00:10:05,047
Can I ask how many you've seen?
213
00:10:05,048 --> 00:10:06,883
Enough that you can't surprise me.
214
00:10:06,884 --> 00:10:11,096
- Hmm. Carrie?
- Oh, I'm still surprise-able.
215
00:10:12,259 --> 00:10:14,238
Excuse me, ma'am, are you shocked
216
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,258
this bar doesn't carry Nettle Field gin?
217
00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:18,637
No, I'm shocked that you
are calling me "ma'am."
218
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:21,391
Well, I was told that's
how you address royalty.
219
00:10:23,135 --> 00:10:26,000
See, now, I'd buy you a
Nettle Field gin martini...
220
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,419
but this bar doesn't carry it.
221
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:31,664
Why do you keep saying "Nettle
Field gin" as if it's a thing?
222
00:10:31,874 --> 00:10:34,418
I rep the brand. I'm trying
to get into this hotel chain.
223
00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:35,813
Oh.
224
00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:39,368
Excuse me, bartender.
225
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,436
Can I have a Nettle Field gin martini?
226
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,508
I just told him, we
don't carry that brand.
227
00:10:44,509 --> 00:10:47,047
Why not? I hear it's amazing.
228
00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:52,003
I owe you a bottle.
229
00:10:52,169 --> 00:10:53,421
Only one?
230
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:57,505
Mama done hooked a fish.
231
00:10:59,855 --> 00:11:01,940
Oh, my God.
232
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,781
Wait.
233
00:11:04,286 --> 00:11:06,580
Is this a bar or an aquarium?
234
00:11:06,755 --> 00:11:09,453
I think I just found
my chocolate single.
235
00:11:09,454 --> 00:11:11,415
- Hi.
- Evening.
236
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,406
- Hello.
- Oh.
237
00:11:14,739 --> 00:11:17,899
- My name is Ian.
- Hi, Ian.
238
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:21,048
May I, uh... buy you a drink?
239
00:11:21,049 --> 00:11:22,467
Sure.
240
00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:28,646
Well, perfect time for Wordle.
241
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:36,737
You are very, very hot, your highness.
242
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,740
Thank you. So are you.
243
00:11:44,128 --> 00:11:45,963
Look, I just wanna put this out there,
244
00:11:45,964 --> 00:11:47,706
it has nothing to do with you,
245
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,872
but, sometimes, I suffer from ED.
246
00:11:49,873 --> 00:11:51,185
Hm?
247
00:11:51,537 --> 00:11:53,205
Erectile dysfunction.
248
00:11:53,206 --> 00:11:55,166
Oh... got it.
249
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:57,091
I appreciate the sensitivity,
250
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,718
but the way things are going tonight,
251
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,389
I just don't think
that's gonna be an issue.
252
00:12:04,161 --> 00:12:06,517
- So, we're cool?
- Yeah, we're cool.
253
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,894
We're cool.
254
00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:12,167
Some ladies are not cool with it.
255
00:12:13,486 --> 00:12:16,712
Well, I guess some women
might feel a little insecure
256
00:12:16,713 --> 00:12:18,149
when...
257
00:12:29,751 --> 00:12:31,649
Only really takes a sec.
258
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,954
- That's cool.
- Okay.
259
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,165
Make this count. Last round, last round.
260
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:40,384
I can't, I'm too drunk!
261
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,915
- Period!
- I'm out of rolling papers.
262
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:46,668
- Carry on without me...
- Okay. Gimme a light.
263
00:12:46,669 --> 00:12:48,225
But just, like, keep it down.
264
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,061
Shh!
265
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,689
Somebody's asleep in the next room!
266
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:56,992
Oh, shit. Fuck.
267
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,278
It's okay. I'm awake.
268
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,774
Oh, God. Why don't... D-Do
you not have the earplugs in?
269
00:13:02,868 --> 00:13:04,701
- They don't work.
- Ugh.
270
00:13:05,263 --> 00:13:09,476
- What time is it?
- Um, it's 3:30.
271
00:13:09,477 --> 00:13:11,646
- Oh, my God!
- Um, just go back to sleep.
272
00:13:11,647 --> 00:13:13,774
- I have to be up at five.
- I-I am so sorry.
273
00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,193
I just need rolling papers,
274
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,795
but we're gonna totally keep it down.
275
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,757
Okay? Ow! Fuck! Shit!
276
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,676
I'm gonna burn that fucking chair.
277
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,604
Good morning.
278
00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:45,370
Ah... There she is.
279
00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:47,039
Sorry I had to cancel lunch.
280
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,085
I got a late start today
because that guy stayed over.
281
00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:52,004
Really, really? How was that?
282
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:54,799
Let's just say I'm still surprise-able.
283
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,563
- He had a penis pump.
- What?!
284
00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:59,608
- Bike lane! Bike lane!
- He had to pump up his dick.
285
00:13:59,609 --> 00:14:00,806
Bike lane! Bike lane!
286
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,665
- Bike lane!
- Oh! Oh, my God!
287
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,134
- Oh, my God!
- Exactly!
288
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,428
No, not you. I...
289
00:14:05,454 --> 00:14:06,914
Oh, my God, I h... I have to go.
290
00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,524
I think I may have killed a man.
291
00:14:08,525 --> 00:14:11,319
You can't stop in
the middle of a bike lane!
292
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,185
Oh, my God! I know, I know, I know that.
293
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,813
- I know. I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.
- Fuck.
294
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,066
My friend was telling me something
295
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,736
that literally stopped me in my tracks.
296
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:20,198
I... Never, never mind.
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
297
00:14:20,199 --> 00:14:22,326
Do you want me to call
an ambulance, maybe?
298
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,120
- Here let me, let me...
- Ow! God!
299
00:14:24,121 --> 00:14:26,031
Not, n-not my arm.
300
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,616
- Sorry. I'm so sorry.
- God.
301
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,411
It's my wrist.
302
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,539
- It might be sprained. At least I...
- Really?
303
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:35,418
I hope it's... Ow. I
hope it's only sprained.
304
00:14:35,419 --> 00:14:37,755
Well, can I take you to an Urgent Care?
305
00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:41,051
'Cause I also... I think I heard
a crack, and a crack is never good.
306
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,716
- Probably just my helmet.
- There's one on 14th Street.
307
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,345
I know, because I-I-I... Once
I saw an Olsen twin go in there.
308
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:50,391
I mean, that's why it, that's
why it stuck in my mind, you know,
309
00:14:50,392 --> 00:14:54,980
because, like, w-what kind
of Urgent Care on 14th Street
310
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,316
would a-an Olsen twin need, you know?
311
00:14:57,317 --> 00:14:59,444
Do they, d-do they live
around here, you know?
312
00:14:59,445 --> 00:15:00,738
I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm so...
313
00:15:00,739 --> 00:15:02,616
I'm nervously talking 'cause I'm...
314
00:15:02,617 --> 00:15:05,863
Would you please... Can I, can I
please take you to the Urgent Care?
315
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,199
All right, yeah, uh,
maybe 'cause my wrist
316
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,578
is really, um, starting to pound.
317
00:15:10,579 --> 00:15:12,039
Okay.
318
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,460
- I'll get your bike for you.
- Yeah, please. Oh, God.
319
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:18,084
- Ooh!
- I... Here, just...
320
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,088
Oh, I got it, I got it.
Oh, watch... I'm so sorry.
321
00:15:21,089 --> 00:15:22,340
I-I-I got a busy day,
322
00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:24,218
so I hope that they're quick.
323
00:15:24,364 --> 00:15:27,199
Well, I mean, "urgent"
is in their name, so...
324
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,699
- Yeah, not in yours.
- Mm, no, sorry. We'll go this way.
325
00:15:31,258 --> 00:15:33,176
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Fuck.
326
00:15:33,177 --> 00:15:35,429
I never, ever... I'm
not one of those people.
327
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:36,556
Like, I've lived here forever.
328
00:15:36,557 --> 00:15:38,392
I never stop in a bike lane.
329
00:15:38,842 --> 00:15:40,510
Hi, I know we're at
the back of the line,
330
00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:41,637
but I heard him hit his head,
331
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:43,181
and I'm worried about a clot.
332
00:15:43,182 --> 00:15:45,893
Ma'am, we will get to you
as soon as we can. I promise.
333
00:15:45,894 --> 00:15:47,145
No, I-I get it. I do.
334
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,817
I just don't wanna be
responsible for a clot.
335
00:15:50,818 --> 00:15:53,504
Ya know? I-I've gotta cover my bases.
336
00:15:53,505 --> 00:15:54,828
You wanna move it along?
337
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,456
Go fill these out for your friend.
338
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:58,731
Okay. Thank you. Will do. Thank you.
339
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,545
Thank you. Shit, this is, uh,
340
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,506
so not a good time for a broken wrist.
341
00:16:04,507 --> 00:16:07,176
Broken? What happened to a sprain?
342
00:16:07,177 --> 00:16:10,782
Uh, well, it's kind of killing me
to text, so...
343
00:16:10,783 --> 00:16:11,938
- Here.
- Well, do you want me
344
00:16:11,939 --> 00:16:14,539
to help you fill these forms out? Yeah?
345
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:17,070
- Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you.
- Okay.
346
00:16:17,071 --> 00:16:18,740
No problem. Of course.
347
00:16:18,741 --> 00:16:22,078
Okay, um, name and date of birth.
348
00:16:22,263 --> 00:16:24,140
Uh, George Campbell.
349
00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:26,936
George Campbell. C-A-M...
350
00:16:26,937 --> 00:16:28,685
- P-B-E-L-L.
- P... E-L-L.
351
00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:29,687
- Yep.
- Date of birth?
352
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:32,399
Uh, 10-17-68.
353
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,318
Oh, happy belated birthday.
354
00:16:34,319 --> 00:16:36,488
Um, address?
355
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:39,316
- Uh, 245 East 29th.
- Two...
356
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:42,723
Really? Oh, my God, that's so funny.
357
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:46,019
I'm 245 East 73rd Street.
358
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,188
We're related.
359
00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:51,303
Okay, moving on to the
tougher stuff. Uh...
360
00:16:52,004 --> 00:16:53,672
Emergency contact.
361
00:16:53,673 --> 00:16:55,341
Uh, my partner, Paul Bennett.
362
00:16:55,342 --> 00:16:58,387
- B-E-N-N-E-T-T.
- Oh. Partner, gotcha.
363
00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:00,686
Oh. Ha. Uh, no, not...
364
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,313
Uh, not husband partner.
365
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:05,275
- Uh, business partner.
- Oh.
366
00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:07,153
Yeah. Never been married.
367
00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:08,739
Okay.
368
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,980
Uh, speak of the Devil.
369
00:17:11,419 --> 00:17:13,587
- Hi, Paul.
- Man, where are you?
370
00:17:13,588 --> 00:17:15,591
The final version
of that app deck is due...
371
00:17:15,592 --> 00:17:17,761
In two days. Believe me, I know.
372
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,763
Uh, I am at Urgent Care,
373
00:17:19,764 --> 00:17:22,249
- so here.
- No, this is urgent. Okay?
374
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,127
We're, we're running out
of buyers. It's do or die!
375
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,707
Yeah, all right, let me finish.
376
00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:30,503
Um, I am here, stuck
in whatever the opposite
377
00:17:30,504 --> 00:17:32,631
of a hit-and-run is. Meet Carrie.
378
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:35,238
Oh, hi, hi.
379
00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:38,242
Again, I'm m-mortified about this.
380
00:17:38,243 --> 00:17:40,578
I'll never get used to those bike lanes.
381
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:43,874
They didn't have 'em when
I came to New York in 1822.
382
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,835
- George?
- Sir, with the wrist?
383
00:17:45,836 --> 00:17:47,699
You can go back to exam room two.
384
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,826
What is goin' on over there?
385
00:17:48,827 --> 00:17:51,004
Paul, I'll call you back.
386
00:17:51,585 --> 00:17:53,238
- Okay. Um...
- Do you need help with...
387
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,254
Nah, I'm good. I'll just take this.
388
00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:57,242
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'll take that.
389
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,243
Yep.
390
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,830
And, uh... thank you.
391
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,499
- Of course. Yeah.
- Yeah.
392
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,128
I'll say hi to the Olsens.
393
00:18:06,672 --> 00:18:09,691
- I'm home!
- Hi, Dad!
394
00:18:09,872 --> 00:18:12,375
Whoa! Rock is helpin' to make dinner.
395
00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:14,753
What? Did I come home
to the wrong house?
396
00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:17,214
What is... What is this
Norman Rockwell scene here?
397
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,932
Honey, we have been
doing some more research
398
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,559
on the Ralph Lauren shoot.
399
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,237
Uh, honey... absolutely not.
400
00:18:24,844 --> 00:18:25,979
I'm just... I'm really...
401
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,066
I'm smellin' a, a, a "Taken" type
402
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,401
kidnapping vibe here,
403
00:18:29,402 --> 00:18:30,654
and I just...
404
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,875
I don't have the muscle
mass to rescue Rock
405
00:18:32,876 --> 00:18:34,605
from a compound in Belize.
406
00:18:34,606 --> 00:18:36,573
Dad, it's not a kidnapping vibe.
407
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,910
We Zoomed with the advertising team,
408
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:42,582
and it's actually quite
legitimate and impressive.
409
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,294
It is a progressive family concept,
410
00:18:45,295 --> 00:18:47,881
and Rock will be wearing a Polo shirt,
411
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:51,685
exactly what I wore as a teen model!
412
00:18:51,686 --> 00:18:54,199
Teen model. Next stop, rehab.
413
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,370
- Mom's not a junkie.
- That's right! I'm not.
414
00:18:57,371 --> 00:19:00,458
Harry, you are being ridiculous.
415
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:02,086
Rock really wants to do this,
416
00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:04,889
and they've come up with a great idea
417
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:07,271
of how they would spend
the money they would make.
418
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,274
Plant some trees in Israel!
419
00:19:09,808 --> 00:19:10,832
Oy.
420
00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:14,162
Look, look, even if it is legit,
421
00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:16,082
it's gonna be exploitative.
422
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,543
Ya know? The next thing
ya know, they're gonna be
423
00:19:17,544 --> 00:19:19,880
usin' Rock's likeness in
God knows what kinda ad.
424
00:19:19,881 --> 00:19:23,009
Harry, this is a Polo campaign.
425
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:25,846
- What could they do?
- Dad, I hear you.
426
00:19:25,952 --> 00:19:28,955
So, you don't have to come
'cause Mom's gonna take me.
427
00:19:28,956 --> 00:19:30,582
It'll be awesome.
428
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,123
Slippery slope.
429
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:38,295
I don't know why they call
this place Urgent Care.
430
00:19:38,296 --> 00:19:40,298
It should be called "I
Hope You Have Nothing Else
431
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,043
Planned for the Rest of the Day" Care.
432
00:19:42,044 --> 00:19:43,807
Why are you still there?
433
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,978
Because I made the mistake
of telling him my name,
434
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,813
so now I'm implicated.
435
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,984
I don't wanna get sued. I'm Google-able.
436
00:19:51,985 --> 00:19:54,819
And, you know, the poor guy can't type.
437
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:59,491
He's got this big... sales
presentation in two days,
438
00:19:59,492 --> 00:20:03,746
and it's all about an app he's
desperate to sell. At his age?
439
00:20:03,747 --> 00:20:05,749
I mean, oh, God.
440
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,968
I just hope I didn't
ruin his big chance.
441
00:20:08,969 --> 00:20:10,638
You know, maybe I should
just write him a check.
442
00:20:10,639 --> 00:20:13,225
You're a pushover... like me.
443
00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:16,121
Since when are you a pushover?
444
00:20:16,122 --> 00:20:20,543
Since last night. I told pump
gin guy I'd see him again.
445
00:20:20,544 --> 00:20:23,547
- Seriously?
- Dating at this age,
446
00:20:23,548 --> 00:20:25,332
there's always something.
447
00:20:25,341 --> 00:20:29,470
We had 30 minutes of great foreplay,
448
00:20:29,471 --> 00:20:33,433
a bizarre intermission,
followed by B-plus sex.
449
00:20:33,434 --> 00:20:34,935
Well, what are you gonna
do if he doesn't bring it?
450
00:20:34,936 --> 00:20:37,605
You gonna swap in the pump
you use for your yoga ball?
451
00:20:37,606 --> 00:20:41,735
With most of these guys, I have to
get myself off anyway at the end.
452
00:20:41,736 --> 00:20:46,276
And at least with him, I had some
laughs and a sexy spoon after.
453
00:20:46,405 --> 00:20:48,261
Oh, 'kay, gotta go. Bye.
454
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,458
Wow... You're still here?
455
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,448
Waiting for a total stranger?
456
00:20:53,523 --> 00:20:55,817
- That is very cool.
- How's the wrist feeling?
457
00:20:55,818 --> 00:20:57,878
- It's pretty good.
- Oh, great.
458
00:20:57,879 --> 00:20:59,798
Great, I just wanted to
make sure it wasn't broken.
459
00:20:59,799 --> 00:21:03,511
Oh, uh, yeah, no. It's, uh,
it's... definitely broken.
460
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,776
- Oh.
- That must have been
461
00:21:04,784 --> 00:21:06,403
the opioids talking.
462
00:21:06,404 --> 00:21:07,989
Sir, the card ya gave us
463
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,159
earlier to put on file was declined.
464
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,205
Oh, right. Uh, shit, that one's no good.
465
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:18,378
Um, yeah, here. Um, sorry, this one.
466
00:21:23,496 --> 00:21:26,374
Actually, uh, sorry... do that one.
467
00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:27,494
Sorry, yeah.
468
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,581
It was so great.
469
00:21:29,582 --> 00:21:31,001
I felt like everyone on the street
470
00:21:31,002 --> 00:21:33,672
was giving me that
"you just had sex" eye.
471
00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:36,176
I love you having a hot walk of shame.
472
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:38,112
I mean, I get it now.
473
00:21:38,113 --> 00:21:40,667
These one-night stands are amazing!
474
00:21:40,668 --> 00:21:42,092
Afternoon, Professor Wallace.
475
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,804
Good afternoon, ladies.
476
00:21:46,414 --> 00:21:49,625
We did it all night long,
477
00:21:49,626 --> 00:21:52,379
and then, I got up,
got dressed, went home,
478
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:55,008
and slept in my own bed until two.
479
00:21:55,009 --> 00:21:58,596
Jealous. Not of the sex, of the sleep.
480
00:21:59,076 --> 00:22:02,537
- What?
- I'm early mornings, Che's late nights.
481
00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,290
I would only sleep there on the weekends
482
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:05,417
when we could stay in bed,
483
00:22:05,418 --> 00:22:08,362
if I had literally anywhere else to go.
484
00:22:09,449 --> 00:22:13,566
Um... you do. Andre's
music room is empty.
485
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:16,361
Crash there until
Steve finds a new place.
486
00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:19,414
That's an incredible offer!
487
00:22:19,415 --> 00:22:21,292
But y... you don't really mean that.
488
00:22:21,293 --> 00:22:22,347
You're just being nice.
489
00:22:22,348 --> 00:22:24,016
I-I'm not nice, and I do mean it.
490
00:22:24,017 --> 00:22:25,644
Miranda...
491
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:27,138
I don't really like living alone.
492
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,015
And you can't keep going
from Che's to Brooklyn
493
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:30,893
- at five in the morning.
- I can't.
494
00:22:30,894 --> 00:22:33,397
I'm exhausted, and I look it.
495
00:22:33,398 --> 00:22:34,691
You do.
496
00:22:38,029 --> 00:22:40,206
I told you I'm not nice.
497
00:22:46,835 --> 00:22:49,838
- Yes?
- Oh, um...
498
00:22:50,485 --> 00:22:53,539
if this is George Campbell, this is, uh,
499
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,126
this is your near-assassin,
Carrie Bradshaw.
500
00:22:56,127 --> 00:22:58,462
Oh, uh, come on in.
501
00:22:59,350 --> 00:23:00,810
Thank you.
502
00:23:13,494 --> 00:23:14,704
Hello?
503
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,423
Hi there.
504
00:23:23,077 --> 00:23:24,454
- Hey.
- You again?
505
00:23:24,455 --> 00:23:27,208
Wha... Do you live here,
506
00:23:27,209 --> 00:23:30,004
or are you temping for an art gallery?
507
00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,800
Nope, uh, I-I live here.
508
00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:34,304
Oh, my.
509
00:23:34,678 --> 00:23:37,932
Was it previously a train station?
510
00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:39,061
Or...
511
00:23:39,313 --> 00:23:42,611
- an airplane hangar?
- What a, what a nice surprise.
512
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,716
Um, unless you're here
to break my other wrist?
513
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,719
No, no, no, no, no. No, I come in peace.
514
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,267
- Ah.
- Well, actually, it's guilt.
515
00:23:51,446 --> 00:23:54,824
And to offer lunch and my intact wrists
516
00:23:54,825 --> 00:23:56,931
to help with your big presentation,
517
00:23:56,932 --> 00:23:58,433
if that's not weird.
518
00:23:58,434 --> 00:24:01,729
Umm, it's def-definitely
weird, um...
519
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,899
- Okay.
- But I can... I-I will
520
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:07,237
take your help because I
just ran out of Percocet.
521
00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:09,808
- Oh, no.
- Uh, so, I assume
522
00:24:09,809 --> 00:24:12,222
you are proficient in Python?
523
00:24:13,050 --> 00:24:15,441
I type 92 words a minute.
524
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:17,457
Wow.
525
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:20,210
Um, Carrot Ginger, Matzo Ball, and Pea.
526
00:24:20,211 --> 00:24:23,298
- There's enough food here for a week.
- Hm.
527
00:24:23,299 --> 00:24:25,894
Who has three different soups for lunch?
528
00:24:26,108 --> 00:24:28,291
I was thinking maybe
you could freeze it.
529
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:29,292
What?
530
00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:32,630
I... I don't know when
your last meal was.
531
00:24:33,093 --> 00:24:36,388
- Do I look like I'm starving?
- No.
532
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:39,137
Um, you know, just
'cause I'm not married
533
00:24:39,138 --> 00:24:42,099
doesn't mean that I don't
know how to cook or order in.
534
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:44,441
No, it wasn't that.
535
00:24:44,450 --> 00:24:50,206
I just thought that perhaps
you were in a bit of a bind.
536
00:24:51,051 --> 00:24:55,806
Because, you know, the frantic,
last-chance business call,
537
00:24:55,807 --> 00:24:58,935
and then the credit card situation.
538
00:24:59,069 --> 00:25:05,200
Oh. Uh, okay, so, that credit card
was closed out 'cause of fraud, um,
539
00:25:05,201 --> 00:25:08,705
and Paul and I have just put
way too much time into that app
540
00:25:08,706 --> 00:25:10,666
to, to see it go down the tubes.
541
00:25:10,667 --> 00:25:13,461
You know, we-we've been hustling
in the tech space since college.
542
00:25:13,462 --> 00:25:16,682
Oh, beer pong to... all this.
543
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:18,768
It's impressive.
544
00:25:18,785 --> 00:25:21,788
Yeah, uh, we've sold three apps.
545
00:25:21,789 --> 00:25:25,251
- Wow.
- Uh, hopefully, four, uh, if
546
00:25:25,252 --> 00:25:27,588
you and I can ever get down to work.
547
00:25:27,589 --> 00:25:30,008
- My wrists are all yours.
- Thank you.
548
00:25:31,687 --> 00:25:34,074
- Okay.
- Here, hold on, let me just, uh...
549
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:35,326
Just gotta wake it up.
550
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:43,293
Tiny wrists.
551
00:25:45,559 --> 00:25:46,921
That okay?
552
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:16,247
Dude, fuckin'... hang a towel
on the door if you got company.
553
00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:18,911
Um, yeah, no, and I th...
I thought we used a sock.
554
00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:20,997
Not time for comedy.
555
00:26:21,151 --> 00:26:23,445
Um, your dry cleaner called me again.
556
00:26:23,446 --> 00:26:25,615
- This has been there a month.
- Ah.
557
00:26:25,623 --> 00:26:29,294
Anyway, uh, Paul, this is Carrie.
558
00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:33,400
- FaceTime from Urgent C...
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi.
559
00:26:33,401 --> 00:26:36,029
Um, yeah, she's helping me
out with my mangled wrist.
560
00:26:36,030 --> 00:26:39,617
Not what it looks like.
We're on a deadline, bro.
561
00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:41,887
It's game time.
562
00:26:47,528 --> 00:26:49,926
Well, I should...
563
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,365
probably take my tiny wrists and go.
564
00:26:54,304 --> 00:26:57,348
It's, um, it's rush hour.
Can I borrow a bike?
565
00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:00,995
Yeah, sure.
566
00:27:04,014 --> 00:27:05,974
Never gonna happen.
567
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:09,128
I take cabs. Enjoy the soups.
568
00:27:09,129 --> 00:27:11,631
ABC is, like, so excited.
569
00:27:11,632 --> 00:27:13,592
And my agent's flying
in for the testing,
570
00:27:13,593 --> 00:27:16,263
- which is apparently a good sign.
- Oh.
571
00:27:17,897 --> 00:27:20,817
This red curry is not a joke.
572
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:23,200
You know that's what happens
when you order something spicy.
573
00:27:23,201 --> 00:27:26,829
Yes, but... I needed
something to wake me up.
574
00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:30,709
- Hmm. Hm.
- I am awake, so... please, go on.
575
00:27:30,710 --> 00:27:32,420
What is testing?
576
00:27:32,421 --> 00:27:35,301
So, they ask a bunch of randos
that they find in Times Square
577
00:27:35,302 --> 00:27:37,596
to, uh, give feedback on my pilot.
578
00:27:37,597 --> 00:27:41,476
I guess it helps them figure out how
to best market the show to America.
579
00:27:41,477 --> 00:27:43,479
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
580
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:48,777
Okay.
581
00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:50,920
So...
582
00:27:52,054 --> 00:27:55,182
- if my body survives this meal...
- Uh-huh.
583
00:27:55,191 --> 00:27:58,402
I'm thinking I may move
into Nya's spare room.
584
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,908
Sometimes, I-I feel like
I'm cramping your style.
585
00:28:02,987 --> 00:28:05,588
Meaning my loud-ass friends
are keeping you awake all night?
586
00:28:05,589 --> 00:28:06,715
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
587
00:28:06,716 --> 00:28:08,134
And my crazy-ass schedule
588
00:28:08,135 --> 00:28:09,928
is keeping you awake all morning.
589
00:28:09,992 --> 00:28:11,952
Oh, is that right? I hadn't noticed.
590
00:28:11,953 --> 00:28:14,080
Plus, Nya's place is, like,
591
00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:16,419
- two minutes away from my house.
- Yeah.
592
00:28:16,547 --> 00:28:18,716
I mean, I love having ya
there, but whatever works
593
00:28:18,717 --> 00:28:20,427
best for you is what I want.
594
00:28:20,428 --> 00:28:23,765
And, uh, and I'm, I'm still
gonna sleep over plenty of nights.
595
00:28:23,766 --> 00:28:25,829
- Don't worry.
- Hmm.
596
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:27,791
The only thing I'm worried about...
597
00:28:28,150 --> 00:28:29,479
is that spice all over your lips
598
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,002
'cause I'm not tryna
have curry-lingus later.
599
00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:35,424
Look, honey.
600
00:28:35,425 --> 00:28:38,553
Oh my, look at how professional!
601
00:28:38,554 --> 00:28:40,386
I am so proud of you.
602
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:41,846
I haven't even done anything yet.
603
00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,640
That's okay. It's already amazing.
604
00:28:43,641 --> 00:28:46,518
Hey, Rock. I'm Bee.
I'll be your stylist today.
605
00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:47,851
Hi. Nice to meet you.
606
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:49,896
- This is my mom.
- Hi. I'm Charlotte.
607
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:53,658
- Are you wearing all vintage Ralph?
- Head to toe!
608
00:28:53,659 --> 00:28:56,619
I've been wearing him
since I was a teen... model.
609
00:28:58,121 --> 00:28:59,497
Right this way.
610
00:28:59,703 --> 00:29:01,916
Sorry, "model" just came out.
611
00:29:01,917 --> 00:29:04,076
Thank you so much for
asking me to be here, honey.
612
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,413
- It means a lot.
- I'm so glad you can be here with me.
613
00:29:06,414 --> 00:29:07,707
Chin up!
614
00:29:07,708 --> 00:29:09,111
So, how are you feelin' about
615
00:29:09,112 --> 00:29:10,955
the whole roommate situation?
616
00:29:10,956 --> 00:29:12,291
- Great!
- Oh.
617
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:13,836
We're both going through divorces,
618
00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:16,830
so we'll be like an
angry Laverne and Shirley.
619
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,982
Okay, the room is very small,
620
00:29:19,983 --> 00:29:22,944
so if ya see a single bed that
looks like it won't fall apart
621
00:29:22,945 --> 00:29:26,615
before Steve finds a new
place, throw yourself on it.
622
00:29:27,319 --> 00:29:28,904
Well, it's been a couple months.
623
00:29:28,905 --> 00:29:31,143
How long will that be, exactly?
624
00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,647
I-I don't feel I can ask him.
625
00:29:33,648 --> 00:29:37,026
I-I don't feel like I'm allowed
to ask anything right now.
626
00:29:37,034 --> 00:29:42,164
Except to ask me to sit on...
someone else's used mattress?
627
00:29:42,182 --> 00:29:45,603
Ugh, these single beds look so sad.
628
00:29:45,604 --> 00:29:48,399
Well, look closer,
'cause maybe they're not.
629
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,110
Case in point,
630
00:29:50,182 --> 00:29:53,728
the single man I'm having
dinner with tonight.
631
00:29:53,729 --> 00:29:55,398
I heard "partner," I thought "gay."
632
00:29:55,399 --> 00:29:57,814
I heard "crash," I thought "lawsuit."
633
00:29:57,815 --> 00:30:00,318
I heard "Urgent Care," I
thought, "This'll be quick."
634
00:30:00,319 --> 00:30:03,114
I got everything wrong.
635
00:30:03,282 --> 00:30:05,534
No more snap judgments.
636
00:30:05,535 --> 00:30:08,121
So, you're saying you think
I should take this one?
637
00:30:08,122 --> 00:30:12,960
Absolutely not. I see that
mattress, I think "bedbugs."
638
00:30:14,118 --> 00:30:16,120
Rock, that's great!
639
00:30:17,114 --> 00:30:18,574
There we go!
640
00:30:19,013 --> 00:30:21,765
All right, Rock... turn around.
641
00:30:22,207 --> 00:30:24,250
Big smile, big smile! Lots of energy.
642
00:30:26,588 --> 00:30:28,480
All right, eyes wide.
643
00:30:29,086 --> 00:30:31,166
That was perfect, that was perfect.
644
00:30:34,227 --> 00:30:36,604
Yo, dude, what's happenin'?
645
00:30:36,605 --> 00:30:38,231
- What's good, man?
- You're crushin' it.
646
00:30:38,232 --> 00:30:40,510
Dude, this is a dope shoot.
647
00:30:40,511 --> 00:30:42,611
What's gonna be on
that green screen, yo?
648
00:30:42,612 --> 00:30:45,580
Like somethin', uh,
dirty or sexy or what?
649
00:30:45,581 --> 00:30:47,708
All right, let's keep that head down.
650
00:30:47,709 --> 00:30:49,252
I don't know, bro...
651
00:30:49,253 --> 00:30:51,689
but this is a family scene.
652
00:30:51,961 --> 00:30:53,578
There's kids here.
653
00:30:55,597 --> 00:30:57,266
Big smile, big smile!
654
00:30:57,352 --> 00:30:58,812
There we go!
655
00:30:58,813 --> 00:31:00,150
Excellent, Rock. Just like that.
656
00:31:00,151 --> 00:31:01,695
Dude...
657
00:31:01,696 --> 00:31:03,615
you better get outta here right now
658
00:31:03,616 --> 00:31:06,160
- before Rock sees you.
- All right, another one right here.
659
00:31:06,161 --> 00:31:09,414
Baby... there's just somethin'
about this whole situation
660
00:31:09,415 --> 00:31:11,250
that does not sit right with me.
661
00:31:11,251 --> 00:31:14,087
Could it be that I am the fun parent
662
00:31:14,088 --> 00:31:16,549
and you are the heavy for a change?
663
00:31:16,550 --> 00:31:19,963
Mmm... maybe.
664
00:31:19,964 --> 00:31:22,133
- Look at that one right there!
- If you don't get outta here
665
00:31:22,134 --> 00:31:24,219
before that kid sees you,
666
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:27,014
all trust will be broken,
667
00:31:27,015 --> 00:31:29,893
and you will never be
"fun dad" ever again.
668
00:31:29,894 --> 00:31:32,104
- Good point.
- Here we are!
669
00:31:32,170 --> 00:31:34,339
- Later, dude.
- All right, big smile.
670
00:31:34,340 --> 00:31:36,385
I thought you were returning that hair.
671
00:31:36,386 --> 00:31:38,705
- Carrie likes it.
- Over your right shoulder,
672
00:31:38,706 --> 00:31:41,000
- right shoulder.
- And I lost the receipt.
673
00:31:41,424 --> 00:31:43,426
- Peace out.
- There it is... Hat off.
674
00:31:45,804 --> 00:31:48,549
Look away like you're too
cool, too cool for school.
675
00:31:50,378 --> 00:31:52,881
That's great, Rock. Just like that.
676
00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:57,207
That scene with the apron was funny.
677
00:31:57,208 --> 00:32:02,904
Okay. Wow, so we love,
we loved Che's dad.
678
00:32:02,905 --> 00:32:04,948
Any other positive feedback
679
00:32:04,949 --> 00:32:07,107
on the character played by Tony Danza?
680
00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:10,388
- Yeah.
- Great head of hair. So lush.
681
00:32:10,388 --> 00:32:12,807
Everybody loves Tony.
682
00:32:12,808 --> 00:32:15,435
Negatives about our dad character?
683
00:32:15,856 --> 00:32:19,891
He looked uncomfortable in
that scene when she cried.
684
00:32:19,892 --> 00:32:22,144
When "they," "they" cried.
685
00:32:22,558 --> 00:32:25,228
Right... sorry.
686
00:32:25,971 --> 00:32:29,951
The crying sends a signal
that it's sad to be non-binary.
687
00:32:30,131 --> 00:32:32,092
That is what I said!
688
00:32:32,093 --> 00:32:34,095
I knew the scene was too
much, and I told 'em that.
689
00:32:34,096 --> 00:32:35,913
I told 'em that repeatedly.
690
00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:37,404
- Repeatedly.
- Okay. We have that note.
691
00:32:37,405 --> 00:32:38,990
You've been pretty quiet.
692
00:32:39,190 --> 00:32:41,021
Can we hear some more from you?
693
00:32:41,087 --> 00:32:43,131
- Me?
- Mm.
694
00:32:43,552 --> 00:32:46,930
I mean... the whole
"Che" character
695
00:32:46,931 --> 00:32:48,850
was like a walking boomer joke
696
00:32:48,851 --> 00:32:50,951
that felt so fake to me.
697
00:32:51,364 --> 00:32:56,308
Just some phony,
sanitized, performative,
698
00:32:56,309 --> 00:32:59,354
cheesy-ass, dad joke...
699
00:33:00,104 --> 00:33:04,733
bullshit version of what
the non-binary experience is.
700
00:33:05,803 --> 00:33:07,263
It sucked.
701
00:33:10,157 --> 00:33:13,952
Also, they would not be able to afford
an apartment that big in Bushwick.
702
00:33:15,748 --> 00:33:18,501
Did anyone else have
anything negative to say
703
00:33:18,502 --> 00:33:21,129
about the character of
Che, played by Che Diaz?
704
00:33:25,557 --> 00:33:27,642
Okay, looks like we got a Yahtzee.
705
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,739
Everybody thinks of TV today
706
00:33:31,740 --> 00:33:34,868
as a place where artistic
people get to be creative.
707
00:33:34,876 --> 00:33:38,087
But the truth is, they just
care about selling soap.
708
00:33:38,088 --> 00:33:42,509
TV is just a-a-a-a-a
corporate conglomerate,
709
00:33:42,696 --> 00:33:44,489
and those corporate
assholes can eat shit.
710
00:33:44,490 --> 00:33:46,283
It's just like corporate law.
711
00:33:46,284 --> 00:33:48,745
They will never get it. And I'm sorry,
712
00:33:48,746 --> 00:33:50,414
Times Square tourists?
713
00:33:50,415 --> 00:33:53,001
They can't possibly
understand your story.
714
00:33:53,037 --> 00:33:56,624
Um... a genderqueer person
from Brooklyn tanked it.
715
00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,877
That call came from inside the house.
716
00:33:58,878 --> 00:34:00,868
Well, they can eat shit, too then.
717
00:34:00,869 --> 00:34:04,497
And ABC was like, "If that
demographic doesn't like Che..."
718
00:34:04,498 --> 00:34:07,626
ABC can eat shit! ABC
can eat shit and die!
719
00:34:07,627 --> 00:34:10,295
Stop telling everybody to
eat shit. It's not helping.
720
00:34:10,421 --> 00:34:11,743
Sorry.
721
00:34:12,531 --> 00:34:14,852
How am I gonna afford this apartment?
722
00:34:15,745 --> 00:34:17,704
I was counting on that TV money.
723
00:34:17,705 --> 00:34:21,499
Okay, so... you'll make another show.
724
00:34:22,024 --> 00:34:24,318
You'll make an even better show.
725
00:34:24,344 --> 00:34:26,139
Yeah, doesn't work that way.
726
00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:28,517
You mean it didn't before now...
727
00:34:28,526 --> 00:34:30,319
but you're you.
728
00:34:30,447 --> 00:34:32,824
There is nobody like you.
729
00:34:32,825 --> 00:34:35,536
You just have to suck it up
730
00:34:35,537 --> 00:34:38,149
and, and pull yourself outta this.
731
00:34:38,325 --> 00:34:40,870
- I'll be your cheerleader. Woo-hoo!
- Oh, Miranda, stop.
732
00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:42,581
- Let's go! Let's go!
- Stop.
733
00:34:42,582 --> 00:34:45,586
- Miranda, stop. Stop, stop!
- Let's go!
734
00:34:45,784 --> 00:34:46,959
I don't need a cheerleader!
735
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,588
This isn't a game, this is my life!
736
00:34:48,589 --> 00:34:52,009
This is my career! This is my identity!
737
00:34:52,010 --> 00:34:54,178
It took me 46 years
to figure out who I am,
738
00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:57,766
and then a focus group one
hour to... fuckin' destroy me!
739
00:34:57,767 --> 00:35:00,008
So, I don't need to be
all Tony Robbins'd right now.
740
00:35:00,009 --> 00:35:01,009
I got it.
741
00:35:01,393 --> 00:35:03,436
So, what can I do?
742
00:35:03,437 --> 00:35:05,469
I don't... Nothing.
743
00:35:06,064 --> 00:35:08,650
I'm a mess.
744
00:35:09,890 --> 00:35:11,642
I just need some space.
745
00:35:14,035 --> 00:35:16,587
Would you mind staying the
night at your other place?
746
00:35:17,987 --> 00:35:21,616
Oh, sure... of course.
747
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,308
Can I hug you before I go?
748
00:35:37,230 --> 00:35:38,837
Okay.
749
00:35:40,663 --> 00:35:42,332
So, I'll see ya tomorrow.
750
00:35:42,693 --> 00:35:45,279
You know, honestly, I think I just,
I think I just need a, a bit...
751
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,949
A, a few more days alone.
752
00:35:49,049 --> 00:35:50,342
Is that okay?
753
00:35:51,202 --> 00:35:53,246
Yeah, sure.
754
00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:15,466
Wow! Oh!
755
00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:17,727
Oh!
756
00:36:17,970 --> 00:36:21,349
Woo! Ho-ho-ho!
757
00:36:21,350 --> 00:36:24,603
My... oh.
758
00:36:25,827 --> 00:36:28,997
Wow, that was great.
759
00:36:42,095 --> 00:36:43,938
Uh, that's not cool.
760
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:48,908
- Are you for real right now?
- Um...
761
00:36:49,454 --> 00:36:50,835
Sir,
762
00:36:50,836 --> 00:36:54,298
do you seriously have the balls
to say something about my device
763
00:36:54,299 --> 00:36:56,926
when I wake up to your
freshly washed penis pump
764
00:36:56,927 --> 00:36:59,054
- drying in my dish rack?
- That's different.
765
00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:00,219
That was just to get us started.
766
00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:02,165
This is so like...
767
00:37:02,166 --> 00:37:04,001
- So noisy.
- Oh.
768
00:37:04,002 --> 00:37:06,796
I'm sorry if I'm bothering
the man whose penis pump goes
769
00:37:06,797 --> 00:37:09,133
pft-pft-pft in the
middle of my bedroom.
770
00:37:09,141 --> 00:37:13,312
Wow... Mm-hmm... Mm-hmm.
771
00:37:17,017 --> 00:37:18,226
Not cool.
772
00:37:20,375 --> 00:37:21,960
So not cool.
773
00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:36,672
Seriously?!
774
00:37:36,899 --> 00:37:38,734
Not cool!
775
00:37:51,174 --> 00:37:53,009
Ooh.
776
00:37:55,454 --> 00:37:56,805
Look at you.
777
00:37:57,357 --> 00:38:00,944
- Uh, l-little help here?
- Oh, sorry. No, I'm sorry.
778
00:38:02,125 --> 00:38:05,688
They're tiny... tender buttons.
779
00:38:15,873 --> 00:38:20,299
Mm, here wait one second.
That's probably... Paul.
780
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:22,385
Um, I just need to,
I just need to get this.
781
00:38:22,386 --> 00:38:25,764
- Uh, sure.
- Give me one second. Um...
782
00:38:26,056 --> 00:38:29,309
- Uh, dude, what is up?
- Dude, where's the final deck?
783
00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:31,354
I messengered it to you.
784
00:38:31,698 --> 00:38:34,579
I have no final deck.
785
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:38,876
Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, I forgot to send it.
786
00:38:38,877 --> 00:38:41,714
Uh, I'm gonna, uh, call my
assistant and have him...
787
00:38:41,715 --> 00:38:43,842
come pick it up ASAP, okay?
788
00:38:43,843 --> 00:38:45,845
- Are you with her right now?
- Yeah, I'm...
789
00:38:45,846 --> 00:38:47,598
- Seriously, dude?!
- With her,
790
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:48,933
but that is not relevant.
791
00:38:48,934 --> 00:38:50,407
Hey, it's not not relevant!
792
00:38:50,408 --> 00:38:51,659
I will get this to you pronto,
793
00:38:51,660 --> 00:38:53,453
and my head is totally in the game.
794
00:38:53,908 --> 00:38:55,219
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
795
00:38:55,220 --> 00:38:56,721
Goddammit!
796
00:38:56,838 --> 00:38:58,938
Just stop, all right?
797
00:38:58,939 --> 00:38:59,940
God.
798
00:39:04,734 --> 00:39:07,821
Look, it's, it's...
it's nothing against you.
799
00:39:09,105 --> 00:39:10,758
Is it Carrie?
800
00:39:14,057 --> 00:39:15,767
Can you hear me?
801
00:39:15,768 --> 00:39:17,251
Yeah?
802
00:39:19,291 --> 00:39:22,419
Okay, I'm, I'm sorry about all this.
803
00:39:22,420 --> 00:39:24,673
Honestly, it's just... It's been a...
804
00:39:24,674 --> 00:39:26,509
a few bumpy years.
805
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:28,158
You know, he's, he's creative,
806
00:39:28,159 --> 00:39:29,703
and I'm, I'm business,
807
00:39:29,704 --> 00:39:33,458
and... uh, sometimes I have to push
808
00:39:33,459 --> 00:39:35,938
just to get him across
that finish line...
809
00:39:36,465 --> 00:39:38,133
which, uh...
810
00:39:38,134 --> 00:39:40,678
I guess it ends up making
me look like the bad guy,
811
00:39:40,812 --> 00:39:43,815
and, and a piece of shit, and I'm not.
812
00:39:44,261 --> 00:39:48,473
I've been in this game for...
20-something years now...
813
00:39:48,474 --> 00:39:51,977
and, uh, you know, I feel
like he's been just, kind of,
814
00:39:51,978 --> 00:39:53,772
falling off a little bit, like,
815
00:39:53,773 --> 00:39:56,437
"Oh, you know, I'm just gonna give 70%,"
816
00:39:56,438 --> 00:39:59,065
like, that's cool.
It's not fucking cool.
817
00:40:00,126 --> 00:40:02,508
I'm fucking frustrated, Carrie.
818
00:40:02,539 --> 00:40:03,757
George?
819
00:40:09,236 --> 00:40:12,030
- George?
- Be right there!
820
00:40:12,031 --> 00:40:13,969
Just gotta get this deck together!
821
00:40:13,970 --> 00:40:14,971
Ooh.
822
00:40:15,459 --> 00:40:16,711
Hey.
823
00:40:17,243 --> 00:40:20,872
Hey, listen, I'm gonna go!
824
00:40:20,874 --> 00:40:22,667
He's upset.
825
00:40:22,668 --> 00:40:23,985
Paul's great.
826
00:40:23,986 --> 00:40:25,321
I don't want you to think he's a jerk.
827
00:40:25,322 --> 00:40:27,574
It's, it's just this
sale's a big deal for us,
828
00:40:27,575 --> 00:40:29,785
and it's stressful as hell.
829
00:40:31,266 --> 00:40:34,922
You know how on your
form I checked "single"?
830
00:40:35,583 --> 00:40:38,211
Well, I think you
actually are married...
831
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:40,855
to Paul.
832
00:40:40,958 --> 00:40:44,212
He's not just your business
partner, he's your wife.
833
00:40:44,213 --> 00:40:46,090
No, no, it's not like that.
834
00:40:46,321 --> 00:40:48,573
We're more Lennon and McCartney.
835
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:55,243
Well, that kinda makes me
Yoko, so... I'm gonna go.
836
00:40:56,101 --> 00:41:00,105
- You sure?
- Yep! Leaving!
837
00:41:00,115 --> 00:41:04,119
I wish you a long and happy marriage.
838
00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:17,142
Carrie?
839
00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,727
And just like that,
George and I were over.
840
00:41:29,838 --> 00:41:33,216
But at least I got back up on the bike.
841
00:41:46,973 --> 00:41:51,973
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com
61906
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