All language subtitles for And.just.like.that.S01E06.CAKES-PECULATE-ION10.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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Oh my God, the sun is gorgeous in here.

If this apartment, were a
fragrance, it would be called

"New York Autumn Light" by Halston.

- Yeah, but is it too much light?
- Since you're not a bat, no.

I don't know about me and downtown.

I mean, I've had fun downtown,
and I've cried downtown,

but... never lived downtown.

First time for everything.

And trust me, you are not
gonna miss your dark kitchen,

and those rickety stairs.

But everything else,
and the crown molding!

Emphasis on the mold.

Out with the mold and in with the new.

And this is the new you.

"You With a Terrace" by Halston.

I'm thinkin' I need a new me as well.

Should I use your realtor,
or she too much of a top?

We have to wrap this up.

I'm in the middle of
a final walk-through.

Your mother wants to know

if you've got a new sari
for the Diwali party.

Yes, I'm going this week.

- Dammit!
- What?

The Knicks had a turnover.

While you're on the TV,

Mom needs to create her own profile

under my Netflix login.

I'm being flooded with recs

from the time she binge-watched
"Indian Matchmaker."

I get enough of that from her in person.

It's just a gentle reminder.
You deserve to be happy.

- Am I not happy?
- Damn the Knicks.

Dad... I have to go.

Are you smoking?

I don't smoke.

Yeah, I need to move.

I had a trick over last night,

and doing it in the same bedroom

where Stanford and I rarely did it...

didn't feel right.

And did it feel right
sharing that with me?

Buckle up, princess. I'm rebounding,

and I'm gonna be one of those
people who talks about it a lot.

And I'm gonna be a
downtowner with melanoma.

So, have you picked out a cute kayak

to go with this amazing river view?

Not yet.

Growl.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com

Am I someone who can live on the water?

Well, you are the strongest
swimmer of the three of us.

And think of that cool
breeze off the water

while the rest of us
are sweating inland.

It's the Hudson, not the Caribbean,

and that's not a breeze. That's Paramus.

- Guys, I just don't love it.
- Then don't buy it.

- You have to love where you live.
- Miranda's right.

Besides, that place is too
cold and modern for you.

I know, you're right. It is.

I just wish we'd had this meal
before I signed the papers.

- What?
- You bought it?

I had to. I have been dragging
Seema around for three months.

I have nitpicked my way
through 46 apartments.

It's not the apartment. I'm the problem.

What's wrong with staying where you are?

- Here you are.
- You're comfortable there. Thank you.

I know, it is sort of the...

perfectly worn-in cashmere
sweater of apartments,

- and I love cashmere.
- I know you do.

But is it too comfortable?
Me living there?

- Meaning?
- Meaning am I living

or just retreating?

You know, I moved in when
I was 29. I'm back at 55.

I just cannot be one of
those people who's like,

"I have lived in the same
apartment for 25 years.

My rent was $2!"

That apartment's not that modern.

No, it is. It's like
living in the future...

which, you know, I guess is
preferable to living in the past.

Big's gone. I have to move on.

I have to... try something
else. Start a new chapter.

Other people do.
I mean, look at Anthony.

He's already having sex with other men.

Yeah, I don't think
that ever really stopped.

A new chapter. Yes! Good for you.

And, if after a while, you
don't like living there,

you can always sell it.

Or just drown yourself in the Hudson.

Exactly. See? Plenty of options.

Hm.

This isn't healthy.

Lily, it's late.

Your lips could not be
more glossed. We gotta go.

There are so many rooms in this
house with tables for eating.

Lily had breakfast in here, too.

All right, girls... Kids.

No more room toast
unless it's your birthday.

Let's hustle!

Can I redecorate... just my side?

I don't need those.

My Madame Alexander
International Doll Collection?

Yeah, I wanna hang my longboard there.

But... these dolls aren't just yours.

I, I gave them to Lily, too.

I don't want them, either.
They're culturally inappropriate.

- What?!
- Mom, the little traditional outfits?

Are you from Spain?
Are you from Thailand?

No, but they are.

And they're just dolls and,
and, and they're vintage.

Right, from a time when that was okay.

I'm embarrassed when friends come over.

And can we change this wall, too?

I had that hand-painted for
you when you were little.

- And look, Lily still has hers.
- Lily and I are different.

So, you're the same when
it comes to eating in bed,

but not when it comes to the murals.

Okay... so I Googled the dolls.

They're not international.
They're made in New York.

It's easy. We can just paint over it.

Okay, we-we're late.

So, I think we should just
talk about this some other time

when we have more time because
painting is a big commitment.

Go.

Also... I wanna cut my hair short.

Breathe, Mom.

Thank God for you, Richard Burton.

Now, tell me you like it.
Tell me not to stop.

Inhale.

Is this okay?

Can I touch you?

- Miranda?
- Yes, hi.

Oh.

- You want to grab a coffee?
- Oh yes. Great.

So, a lot of my other graduate students

are devoting time to the renovation,

so I'm hoping to have the shelter

up and running by spring.

Are you in?

So, this is less of a casual coffee.

This is more of a shakedown.

Well, I'm teachin' a full slate,

I'm spearheading a home for
displaced women and children.

No one has time for casual coffee.

- Right here.
- Looks good.

- Okay... swipe left to right.
- Okay.

It's a former apartment
building in Fort Greene,

and I've partnered with three banks

and the Brooklyn Housing Commission...

You're getting a call.

Oh... sorry.

Hi... Yeah, I got her text
about Thursday, but why so late?

Oh. I know. They gotta
put their kids to bed.

Okay, I got it. Honey, I gotta go.

Yeah, nothin' but love. Okay, bye.

What?

Nobody has time for a casual dinner

with Andre Rashad's best friend
and his wife, Fertile Myrtle.

I know the type.

- Left to right.
- Okay.

She's had two babies in three years,

and every single conversation,

she manages, somehow, to
bring it back to babies.

I mean, we could be talkin' about Mars,

and she'll suddenly say, "Oh,
I... The night that I saw Mars",

"through the telescope
was the night that we

got pregnant with Jasmine."

And I said to Andre, "Honey,
please give me a little space

on the baby decision after
the second round of IVF."

She's gonna bring it up... a lot.

Since when are you shy?

Just control the conversation.

- Don't let her go there.
- I've tried, Miranda.

- You don't know Fertile Myrtle.
- What's her real name?

Myrtle. She was
conceived in Myrtle Beach.

No!

Welcome to my SoHo.

Okay...

These clothes... This holiday.

I, I need to know everything about it.

In India, Diwali is a Hindu celebration

of light triumphing over dark.

In Queens, it's the celebration

of my family asking me
why I'm still not married.

But, there's so much more
about you to celebrate.

- Literally, everything else about you.
- And they do,

but my parents hit
the arranged marriage lottery,

and they can't imagine
me not having that.

But it's my life, and I'm happy,

so they have to get over it,

and accept their bad Indian daughter.

Question. If your
parents won the lottery,

have you ever considered
an arranged marriage?

Carrie, I won't even let the
sommelier pick out my wine.

They are so sickeningly happy

that every time I push back
on one of their choices for me,

I get, "Your father and I weren't
in love at first sight either,

but we grew to love each other."

If I have to convince
myself to love someone,

then I don't want them.

Oh yeah, no. There are two things no one

should ever be talked
into: love and zip-lining.

One of my most favorite
Fendi sandals is still

somewhere in that rainforest.

So, until I find my man,
I'll buy a stunning sari

and attend another family Diwali alone.

Well, you know, you don't
have to attend alone.

I could really use a light
triumphing over dark celebration.

Let's get you a sari.

Is that allowed?

You're wearing it to a
traditional celebration

at my family home.

That's not cultural appropriation,

that's cultural appreciation.

Oh my God... Wow, that is really great

'cause I just saw one back there that

I really culturally appreciated.

Ooh.

Anyone who said a marriage
can't fit neatly into boxes...

has not seen my storage unit.

Okay. What is the goal for today?

You know, find a few things
to take to the new place,

so, you know, I can
make it... feel like me,

and then, treat myself to a hot pretzel

from that vendor on the corner after.

See, my mistake was thinking that I had

to fall in love with
a new apartment right away.

But now I see it... like
an arranged marriage.

You know, you learn to love it
and that's what I plan to do.

- Just a little bit at a time.
- Smart.

It's like you're taking your time
and dating, like I did in the '90s.

Exactly. I am dating my new apartment,

and tonight is our first sleepover.

I got a bed delivered
from 1-800-Mattress.

Do you always
have these in your purse?

So, I suggest we follow
Marie Kondo's advice,

and only take things that spark joy.

Oh. I don't think joy
is even on the menu here.

Maybe we should just...

try to find things that
don't spark sadness.

- What about this adorable lamp?
- Doesn't make me sad.

- Yay! Good.
- Oh, wow. Conrad's, 1988.

Okay... If I were
sheets, where would I be?

Ooh, not sheets.

Oh my God!

- It's my favorite sun hat.
- Oh.

Oh. And now she's not just fashion...

she's survival.

- Definite yes.
- Yay! Good.

- Oh shit.
- What?

- Big's records.
- Oh.

Are you okay?

No. I'm in a spark sadness situation.

What can I do?

Oh my God. I...

Oh my God. Thought it...
Suddenly, it was all here again.

And I was feeling so cocky

after I made it past
our headboard over there.

Yeah, I'm not ready for this.
I think you're gonna have to

test run the boxes, and
just tell me what's in them.

You know, m-maybe, this
is enough for today.

I have tons of sheets, and we can
just go get ourselves a pretzel.

We can't leave here
with a, a hat and a lamp.

Okay, now we can go.

Not too much salt.

Okay...

Cancel.

Hm.

- Hello.
- It's Anthony.

Oh good. I thought you
were a phone solicitor.

- Then why'd you pick up?
- Eh, I had nothing better to do.

I need a favor... Three months ago,

Stanford booked us a consultation

with a plastic surgeon
for His and His facelifts.

Is it too late for me to not pick up?

Believe me. I hear you.

I was only goin' to stop him
from doin' something crazy.

Now I need you to go to stop
me from doin' something crazy.

Okay, well, now I need you
to stop me from going crazy.

I'm in the new apartment.

There's this beeping, and I have
no idea where it's coming from.

- The dishwasher.
- No, I checked the dishwasher.

Try it again. It's always
the dishwasher.

- Okay, hold on.
- Hey.

You're holdin' the bags
upside down, Jimmy.

Oh, actually, I'm Billy. He's Jimmy.

Whoever! Bags are upside down!

- Jesus Christ!
- Ah, uh, five-second rule?

No! No five-second rule! Give me that.

- Here you go.
- It's a good thing you're hot.

- Oh, thank you.
- No, it's not the dishwasher.

It's always the dishwasher. Slam it!

- Nope.
- Harder!

Could the beeping be
in the refrigerator?

Carrie, I don't have time to
play Clue: The Kitchen Edition.

Will you please come
with me tomorrow morning?

I trust your judgment, and Charlotte's
up to her eyeballs in kid shit.

Anthony... you don't need a facelift.

Tell that to the 30-year-old hottie
that called me Daddy last night.

I am not ready to be a daddy.

I need to get my face back
to "hot, slightly older guy."

Oh my god. I think I
just turned off the AC,

and that's a problem because I
live on the surface of the Sun.

Come! I'm afraid in my vulnerable state

I'll agree to the whole
shebang and wind up,

to paraphrase Steven Tyler,

like one of those dudes
who looks like a lady.

- Okay, I will go with you.
- Thank you. Bye.

Yeah, we come here all the time.

You're gonna love this place.

As long as it's not
dinosaur-shaped nuggets

and mac and cheese, I'm good.

- Oh my God. Last night...
- Yeah, it, it used to be

- a shoe factory in the late 1800s.
- Oh.

Uh, 1890, 1891. I don't know
what kind of shoes, though.

Cool, cool.

Well, last night at dinner, Jas...

But I think it was probably men's shoes

because what wasn't about
men back then, right?

I mean, Congress hadn't
even ratified a woman's

- right to vote until 1919...
- Babe, nah, nah.

Take a breath. You cut off Myrtle.

- Oh, did I? I'm so sorry.
- It's fine.

All right, so let's get
some of those mojitos.

Oh, I-I'm not drinking.

Why? What, are you pregnant again?

Oh, wow, you're pregnant again.

Well, we didn't want to make
a big announcement because...

No, no, it's wonderful.

- Oh my God!
- Congrats, man!

Yeah, three. Three. Slow down, brother.

- Give someone else a shot.
- Get movin', man. Pick up the slack.

- Hey, don't say that.
- Oh, right.

- Um, I'm sorry. My bad.
- Sorry.

- It's fine. Yeah, fine.
- You're so fine.

- How's it going?
- Uh, well, you know,

- doin' our thing.
- We're doin' our thing.

Yeah, maybe...

- thinkin' about another IVF round.
- You know, it's about timing

because I've got my job and, you know,

Andre's going back out on tour,

and IVF is really hard on
my body, and it's expensive.

We're tryin' to save money to
buy an apartment, so it's timing.

It's never a good time and
it's always a good time, so.

A couple like you,
you gotta have babies.

Yeah.

Oh, hi. This is 5D.

Yes, hello. Um... that beeping's back.

Do you think you could
send maintenance again?

Oh, okay, okay. No, no.
The morning will be fine.

Okay. Thank you.

Inhale.

Can I touch you?

- Is this okay?
- Mm-hm.

Tell me you like it.

Mom?

Mom?

I'll be right out!

- Are you okay?
- Mm-hm!

I'm gonna go meet Luisa.

Don't stay late! You have
your math tutor in the morning!

Oh God.

Okay, if that didn't put a baby in me,

I don't wanna do the other thing.

Oh.

Are you doin' that thing where

you're not talking 'cause
you're going through

all the possible responses in your mind?

No, I'm doin' that thing
where I'm not talkin'

'cause I just came and I need a minute.

Oh, okay.

Now I'm doing that thing I'm not
talkin' 'cause I'm working through

all the possible responses in my mind.

I've been nervous to
tell you, so I've been...

doing everything I
can to avoid the topic.

Is that why you were
talkin' all that crazy shit

about a shoe factory at dinner?

No, no, no, no.

You don't ever need to be nervous.

It's me.

I got you.

This isn't working!

Everyone says this doctor is the best.

His male patients look
like men, not mall elves.

Good morning. I'm Dr. Paul David.

I hope I haven't kept
you waiting too long.

- No.
- So... what are we doing today?

Oh, no. We're doing him today.

Anthony Marentino, 10:45.

Well, this is an unfortunate start.

Clearly, my receptionist screwed
up the exam room numbers again.

She's 22, and went to Oberlin,

so there's really
nothing I can do about it

without risking a lawsuit.

So... let's just start over, shall we?

Sure.

What are we doing today?

I'm here for a facelift consultation.

You don't need a facelift.

Maybe... some Botox.
Your number 11s are approaching 12s,

but, other than that,

nice Italian skin, good muscle tone.

You're hot.

Best consultation ever.

I would ask my assistant
for help setting up,

but it turns out needles trigger her.

Um, Dr. Paul David,

what about my number 11s?

I mean, I'm just curious.

- You know, as long as I'm here.
- Absolutely, sure.

Oh, this isn't how I usually look.

- I didn't sleep at all last night.
- Hm-mm.

And my husband died recently, so...

you know, that's... a lot of
what you're seeing on my face.

So, what are you thinking?

Oh, I'm just thinking, like you
said, you look a little tired.

And maybe you'd be interested
in a little refresh?

A little refresh...

as in more than a nap?

Well, that's completely up to you.

But you're not saying I need a facelift?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh... okay.

Well, maybe, a halflift... or nothing.

I mean, I think you look beautiful.

You're what... 48, 49?

- Oh, you're good.
- Listen, I mean, you're here, I'm here.

Don't worry. I won't let
you do anything crazy.

You know, the correct
response would've been,

"You don't need anything." No good deed.

You know, he's years
older than me, by the way.

Well, unfortunately,
Mother Nature and Instagram

- are much harder on women.
- Hmm.

You know what? Why
don't we step over here?

I can take a 3D image of your face

for a simulation before and after.

God, my legs don't seem to want to move.

You're fabulous.

Mm-hmm.

So, as the face ages, it breaks
down into two types of people:

hollowers and saggers.

Hollowers lose volume.

Saggers are prone to
hang and develop bags.

- You're a hollower.
- Does this feeling come with a Valium?

- You're hilarious.
- No, I'm serious.

Hey, I came here to support
you during your moment of need.

You could at least support me
during my drive-by facelift.

So, Carrie, you have
a wide range of options.

Ah... okay.

Maybe a few, let's see,

injectables to restore and plump.

Some laser work.

A bit of surgery,

upper eye and a mini facelift.

Or, depending on the result
that you're looking for,

a full face and neck lift,

which would take you from here...

to...

here.

Oh... I remember her.

Just an idea of what's possible.

That's friggin' amazing.

With the right work and the right touch,

the last 15 years... are gone.

How much?

Fifteen years... gone.

I mean, crazy expensive,
but is it worth it?

I wanna kill that doctor.

You felt great about the way you look,

and now, thanks to him,
you're questioning that.

Who said I felt great about how I look?

Okay, maybe not "great." Who does?

I mean, what's this? Who invited this?

See, this is what they do to women.

They make it wrong for us to age.

But a woman should be able to
freshen up without other people

- making them feel bad about it.
- Who? Me?

Botox and a little filler
are not the end of the world.

- Okay, ladies...
- I'm not...

I can't even figure out the beeping

in my freakin' apartment, let alone the

"get work or no work" labyrinth.

So, I say...

enough for now.

- More bubbly?
- Definitely, yes. It's delicious.

You guys are sweet.

Drinking this non-alcoholic
bullshit with me.

And I must say I am very proud

of how you have stopped cold turkey.

Well, before you get too proud,

I seem to have replaced
too much drinking...

with obsessive masturbation.

- Oh.
- Is it menopause, you think?

Or is it just my compulsive personality?

Well, I can't see that I've,

uh, seen a real spike in
my sex drive these days,

but I might not be
the best control group.

Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
If you're not up for hearing

about my perverted
fantasies, I understand.

No, please, yak it up.

Any time not spent up there
inside is time well spent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna hear.

Who have you been fantasizing about?

Honestly?

- Carrie's boss, Che.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. I get that.

- You do?
- Really?

Oh yeah.

Che is so cool and charismatic.

In fact, I even had
a sex dream about Che

after that comedy concert.

We were on a ferry.

And I, I can't remember the rest.

Mine are a little different.

They're not so much
a fantasy as a replay.

What do you mean?

I'm gonna tell you something...

and you're gonna have a big reaction.

- And I'm asking you not to.
- Okay.

I had sex with Che at Carrie's apartment

after the surgery when
we thought she was asleep.

- What?!
- You had a huge reaction!

Of course, I had a huge reaction!

Y-You knew?! You knew?! Say something!

- Cheese?
- We had a big fight, but we're fine.

- You're fine?! You're fine with this?
- No, she said, "We're fine."

- Not, "I'm fine."
- Are you not fine with it?

I don't even know what it is yet.

Well, I don't even know
what it is yet, either.

It is an affair! That's what it is.

It is not an affair! It was a finger.

Oh, what?!

Oh, why can't this be real wine?

What? Go ahead! Say it!

I can feel judgment
emanating from your pores.

It's not judgment. It's surprise.

Am I not allowed to be surprised?

You are allowed
to be whatever you want!

I just don't want to focus group this.

Listen, you brought it up,
and we talk about everything,

so you can't just
suddenly change the rules.

That's true. We should
probably take a vote,

but it will never pass the Senate.

And, Carrie, why do you keep
trying to make this nothing?

- It's something!
- No, you know what?

Big dying is something. This is...

Well, as I said,
I don't know what this is.

- So, are you gay now?
- No... I don't know.

You said yourself, you
were attracted to Che, too.

It was a dream! I was on a ferry!

- That's not the same thing.
- And, anyway,

it's not as simple as gay or straight.

- Che identifies as non-binary.
- Use whatever words you want,

but you spent your whole life with men.

You're married to a man,

and now you're suddenly
having non-binary sex.

It was the most alive
that I have felt in years.

A finger made you feel alive?

Everything about them
made me feel alive.

- Them?! There, there are others?
- No, no, no, no.

She's using "them" as in Che's pronoun.

Okay, c-can I just say one more thing?

I, I am just gonna say it.

You are not progressive enough for this.

That's it.

- What are you doing?
- I don't have to take this shit.

Oh, goddammit! My leg
is asleep! Help me!

Cool.

Okay...

What-what are you gonna, walk away?

Yeah, as soon as I can, yes.

You're having a midlife crisis!

You should've just dyed your hair!

Not helpful.

Miranda, stop. Miranda, stop.
Come on, stop, stop, stop.

We already lost Samantha.
I'm not losing anyone else.

People are gone... in a second.

You can... you can disagree,
but you can't leave.

I'm sorry.

I just... I want to understand.

Well, when you do maybe
you can explain it to me.

It's not only you.

What is wrong with people
just staying who they were?

Some of us don't have that luxury.

- Good evening.
- Thank you.

Wow, look at you, lady.

Absolutely. I completely agree.

We are so happy Seema invited a friend.

Oh, well, actually, I invited
myself, but I'm very glad I did

because this is such a
beautiful celebration.

So, quickly, before she comes over.

Tell us, what is Dennis like?

We have still yet to meet
him. He's always so busy going

here, there, and everywhere
with Doctors Without Borders.

It's been eight months,
darling. No one can be that busy.

I'm beginning to wonder if she's
embarrassed of her boyfriend,

or embarrassed of her parents.

So, Carrie, tell. Is it him or us?

Oh, no, no. It's... It-it's not you.
You are both wonderful.

What then? Is Dennis fat?

Ugly? We don't care.

We just want her to be happy.

No, of course. No, no,
no. No, Dennis is fine.

Handsome, yes.

It's just, uh, you know...

I think that Seema is
such a magnificent woman

that it's hard to find
a man that's good enough.

- But she will.
- She's 53.

What are you three so intense about?

Dennis.

- The jig is up.
- Yes.

Carrie thinks you can do better
than Dennis, and we agree.

Sorry, I think ya can.

It's just easier telling
them I have someone.

Easier for them or you?

For them... well, and for
me when I'm around them.

Trust me, when I'm alone...

I know there's no Dennis in my life.

Yet.

Okay, yet.

So are you happy with your life alone,

like you said you were in the sari shop?

Most times. And other
times it's wishful thinking,

something I tell myself.

I hate the new apartment.

Then we'll sell it.

- Really?
- Yes. You have to love where you are.

Oh. I dragged you out
of that apartment so fast

because of Dennis,

- I forgot...
- And Dennis?

Yes. I made him white,

so when we broke up, my parents
wouldn't be heartbroken.

Hand me your wrist.

This is a Hindu custom.

It's a reminder...

of your strength.

And just like that...

I remembered how much
I loved the last 15 years.

♪ I can see clearly
now the rain is gone ♪

♪ I can see all obstacles in my way ♪

♪ Gone are the dark
clouds that had me blind ♪

♪ It's gonna be a bright ♪

♪ Bright sunshiny day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a bright ♪

♪ Bright sunshiny day ♪

♪ I think I can make it
now the pain is gone ♪

♪ All of the bad feelings
have disappeared ♪

♪ Here is that rainbow
I've been praying for ♪

♪ It's gonna be a bright ♪

♪ Bright sunshiny day ♪

_

♪ Look all around, there's
nothing but blue skies ♪

♪ Look straight ahead,
nothing but blue skies ♪

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com