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1
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Oh, good, you're all here.
2
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My firm is hosting a charity dinner tonight
3
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to send underprivileged children to camp,
4
00:00:09,127 --> 00:00:11,080
and I completely forgot to invite
5
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the three most important men in my life.
6
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,921
So would you care to attend?
7
00:00:15,274 --> 00:00:16,476
- No.
- Sorry.
8
00:00:17,169 --> 00:00:18,604
Well, too bad, you're going.
9
00:00:18,906 --> 00:00:21,766
I bought an entire table,
and everyone I invited bailed.
10
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:22,883
I can't sit alone.
11
00:00:22,903 --> 00:00:24,728
I'll look more needy than those kids.
12
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:27,775
So, why don't you bail?
13
00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:30,710
Because those charity things
are always stocked with men.
14
00:00:30,741 --> 00:00:31,880
I'm getting married in two months,
15
00:00:31,892 --> 00:00:33,097
I need a groom.
16
00:00:35,027 --> 00:00:38,334
So basically you're just
using underprivileged children
17
00:00:38,357 --> 00:00:39,884
as a ploy to snag a husband.
18
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:42,644
Congratulations, Stuart,
you cracked the code.
19
00:00:43,555 --> 00:00:44,985
Suits and tie. See you at 8:00.
20
00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:48,368
De-do de-do
21
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Synced and corrected by brayanatsix and chamallow
www.addic7ed.com
22
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do-do, o-o-do-do
23
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do-do-do
24
00:00:53,151 --> 00:00:55,353
25
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de-do de-do, do-do-do
26
00:00:57,752 --> 00:00:59,621
do-do-do-do
27
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,556
So, Haskell, see anything
you want to bid on?
28
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,091
Well, I do have my eye
on this cop ride-along.
29
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,355
Yeah, joining the boys in blue,
30
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patrolling the greedy streets of New York.
31
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Plus they give you a badge and whistle.
32
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Well, step up and make a bid.
33
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Well, it has been my lifelong dream.
34
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[Chuckling]
35
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Eight bucks.
36
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,105
Haskell, you just changed a kid's life.
37
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- He is not going to camp.
- Oh.
38
00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:29,024
Holly.
39
00:01:29,253 --> 00:01:30,540
Holly. Guess what?
40
00:01:30,609 --> 00:01:32,974
They're auctioning off
a private cooking lesson
41
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with Robert Thomas. He's a culinary god.
42
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Well, at least you found a man.
43
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The only ones I've seen are
44
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married, divorced, bitter or gay.
45
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One guy was all of them.
46
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Listen, learning from Chef Thomas would be
47
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the first step in fulfilling my dream.
48
00:01:49,557 --> 00:01:51,329
One day I plan on opening
up my own restaurant,
49
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"La petite maison de
Stuart dans le jardin."
50
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[Chuckles]
51
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You know, nothing too pretentious.
52
00:01:57,271 --> 00:01:58,228
Right.
53
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:00,616
Hey, Stuart, check it out.
54
00:02:00,802 --> 00:02:02,193
Dinner with Caren Dupree.
55
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:03,790
Remember her? She played Mrs. Morgan
56
00:02:03,818 --> 00:02:05,946
on that classic '80s sitcom, the Morgans.
57
00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:07,965
Yeah, yeah, I remember that show.
58
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,791
I used to watch it
after badminton practice.
59
00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:13,858
You are whiter than the color white.
60
00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:20,058
- The Morgans were like my second family.
- Mm.
61
00:02:20,132 --> 00:02:21,547
Yeah, every time the kids screwed up,
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Mrs. Morgan would always be like,
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"wake up and smell the bacon."
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[Chuckling] That's right, that's right.
65
00:02:27,604 --> 00:02:29,558
And they had that great
theme song, remember?
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Takin' it, makin' it,
checkin' it with the Morgans
67
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:36,643
yeah
68
00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:43,404
Okay, you people, get in your finals bids.
69
00:02:43,416 --> 00:02:46,060
And I'd like to repeat,
for some of you handsy guys,
70
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I am not an auction item.
71
00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:53,366
[Sneezes]
72
00:02:54,614 --> 00:02:56,951
Oh, I'm sorry. You know,
with this super flu,
73
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I probably should have stayed home.
74
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,227
But it's for the kids.
75
00:03:00,296 --> 00:03:02,306
[Sniffles]
76
00:03:02,459 --> 00:03:05,059
Okay, let's see who won
the police ride-along.
77
00:03:05,273 --> 00:03:07,470
Well, it's kinda hard to
read. It's a little wet.
78
00:03:07,482 --> 00:03:10,315
Um, but I believe the
winner is Haskell Lutz.
79
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,241
I'm gonna be a cop! I'm gonna be a cop!
80
00:03:14,393 --> 00:03:16,738
Oh, unh, unh, unh, unh. Hey, hey!
81
00:03:17,219 --> 00:03:18,222
We got a problem?
82
00:03:19,218 --> 00:03:20,381
We got a problem?
83
00:03:22,714 --> 00:03:24,908
Okay, and the winner with the dinner
84
00:03:24,916 --> 00:03:26,780
with Caren Dupree is Phil Chase.
85
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,943
Ha-ha! I won!
86
00:03:32,427 --> 00:03:33,109
Eden,
87
00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:36,450
who is that hottie in
the Chef Boyardee outfit?
88
00:03:37,403 --> 00:03:40,104
That's Robert Thomas. He's
catering the event tonight.
89
00:03:40,124 --> 00:03:42,100
In fact, he's the big prize.
90
00:03:42,135 --> 00:03:44,186
Oh, yes he is.
91
00:03:45,903 --> 00:03:47,476
Holly, I'm the high bidder
on the cooking lesson.
92
00:03:47,492 --> 00:03:48,495
Give me that clipboard!
93
00:03:48,884 --> 00:03:50,167
What are you doing? I told you cooking
94
00:03:50,182 --> 00:03:51,686
with Robert Thomas is my dream.
95
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,543
Sorry, cookie, he's my dream now.
96
00:03:55,071 --> 00:03:57,544
You know what? That is low, even for you.
97
00:03:57,664 --> 00:03:59,196
Hmm. Oh, you know what's not low?
98
00:03:59,234 --> 00:04:00,637
The clipboard!
99
00:04:03,928 --> 00:04:06,816
Look at how much these two
want to help the children.
100
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,610
It... it's simply inspiring.
101
00:04:08,676 --> 00:04:09,618
Stop it, you idiots!
102
00:04:09,703 --> 00:04:11,421
- What's... what's going on?
- Oh.
103
00:04:11,456 --> 00:04:13,316
Oh, uh, Chef, I'm your biggest fan.
104
00:04:13,343 --> 00:04:14,014
I want to learn from you.
105
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:16,378
And I really want to study under you too.
106
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:20,770
Well, since you're each so...
107
00:04:21,332 --> 00:04:22,918
passionate, I have a proposal.
108
00:04:22,937 --> 00:04:24,464
If you both pay the top amount,
109
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you can share the lesson.
110
00:04:25,763 --> 00:04:27,798
That way, you win, and so do the children.
111
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,484
Then let's do it for the children.
112
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[Chuckles]
113
00:04:32,053 --> 00:04:33,499
Yes, the children.
114
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I'd make a great mom.
115
00:04:43,753 --> 00:04:46,268
I was, uh, told to report here, Officer.
116
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I'm Haskell Lutz.
117
00:04:47,252 --> 00:04:49,117
Officer Wilson. You're my ride-along?
118
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,183
Affirmative. [Chuckles]
119
00:04:51,218 --> 00:04:52,652
Hey, uh, can I get my badge and whistle?
120
00:04:52,671 --> 00:04:53,911
I was told I get a badge and whistle.
121
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:54,862
Really?
122
00:04:55,217 --> 00:04:56,749
We're doing the badge and whistle?
123
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:00,393
[Chuckles] Oh boy, oh boy.
124
00:05:00,463 --> 00:05:02,904
[Mutters]
125
00:05:03,098 --> 00:05:05,749
You blow that in the car, we're done here.
126
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,208
We've got a 10-50, vicinity
of 82th and First, copy?
127
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,514
10-50, that's a suspected break-in..
128
00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:13,604
Let's roll.
129
00:05:14,499 --> 00:05:17,419
The is car 617. We're
on a code eight, over.
130
00:05:17,539 --> 00:05:18,534
Code eight, what's that?
131
00:05:18,654 --> 00:05:20,297
Uh, robbery? Drug deal?
132
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:21,590
Bathroom break.
133
00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:23,832
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm good.
134
00:05:23,952 --> 00:05:25,549
Okay, here's the deal.
135
00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:27,464
This is my last day on the job.
136
00:05:27,584 --> 00:05:28,938
I've put in my 20,
137
00:05:28,969 --> 00:05:32,375
and now the wife and I are headed
down to Boca open a Supercuts.
138
00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:36,355
So, we're just going to
take a nice leisurely drive.
139
00:05:36,389 --> 00:05:39,014
Maybe stop off for some sugar-free fro-yo.
140
00:05:40,338 --> 00:05:42,215
But I wanna see some cop action.
141
00:05:42,335 --> 00:05:45,052
Bust a perp, you know,
shake down a stoolie.
142
00:05:45,130 --> 00:05:48,212
Get some free produce from
a thankful immigrant grocer.
143
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,697
Fine, you can hit the sirens.
144
00:05:51,022 --> 00:05:52,836
[Siren blaring]
145
00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:54,704
Okay, that's enough.
146
00:05:59,914 --> 00:06:02,135
[Knocking]
147
00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:04,965
Oh, it's you.
148
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,031
You think I'm happy about this?
149
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:11,337
My one chance to be recognized
by a world-class chef,
150
00:06:11,357 --> 00:06:12,504
and I have to share it
with a woman who thinks
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00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,912
haute cuisine is food
cooked by prostitutes.
152
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,857
There's no need to get snippy, all right?
153
00:06:18,869 --> 00:06:20,341
I know it's not ideal, but
154
00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:21,837
at least we can act civilized.
155
00:06:21,876 --> 00:06:23,194
- [Knocking]
- [Gasps]
156
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:27,744
Oh, hello, Robert.
157
00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,442
- Welcome, Chef.
- Hi.
158
00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:31,199
First of all, I want to thank you both
159
00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:33,540
for your generous
contribution to a worthy cause,
160
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,160
and I know you're going
to get a lot out of this.
161
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:36,349
Oh, I know I will.
162
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,092
Me too.
163
00:06:38,179 --> 00:06:39,729
Okay, looks like everything's set up.
164
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:40,958
Now let's get cooking.
165
00:06:40,996 --> 00:06:41,620
First,
166
00:06:41,674 --> 00:06:43,753
I thought we'd start
with a deceptively simple
167
00:06:43,772 --> 00:06:45,311
pasta primavera.
168
00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:46,574
Ooh, sounds romantic!
169
00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:49,644
Let's begin by dicing a carrot.
170
00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:56,684
Excellent knife work, Stuart.
171
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:57,510
Thank you, Chef.
172
00:06:57,665 --> 00:06:58,925
Holly, let's see your technique.
173
00:06:58,964 --> 00:07:00,042
Okay.
174
00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:03,476
Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly.
175
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:05,689
Holly, we're looking for
more of a gentle slice
176
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,995
- and less of a vendetta.
- Oh.
177
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,224
Done, Chef.
178
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,836
Stuart, you're so good at this.
179
00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:18,026
I'm afraid I'm gonna need
more hands-on instruction.
180
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,437
Well, that's, uh, that's what I'm here for.
181
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,227
- Right.
- Allow me.
182
00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:27,451
Easy chop.
183
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,354
Good
184
00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:32,769
Thin slices.
185
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:38,548
You must be Phil.
186
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,792
Oh, my god, Mrs. Morgan!
187
00:07:41,052 --> 00:07:44,509
[Laughs]
188
00:07:46,773 --> 00:07:48,357
How'd you know it was me?
189
00:07:48,391 --> 00:07:50,354
Well, you're the only grown man
190
00:07:50,358 --> 00:07:52,796
- in here with a lunch box.
- [Chuckles]
191
00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:54,750
- I took a shot.
- Oh.
192
00:07:55,103 --> 00:07:57,301
I'm just so nervous,
I... please, have a seat.
193
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,797
I can't believe I'm having dinner
194
00:07:58,804 --> 00:08:00,010
- with Mrs. Morgan.
- [Chuckles]
195
00:08:00,037 --> 00:08:01,485
I gotta tell you, your show,
196
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,555
it meant so much to me growing up.
197
00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:05,742
You're kinda like my second mom.
198
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:07,839
Oh, that's so sweet.
199
00:08:08,081 --> 00:08:09,797
That makes me feel good,
200
00:08:09,976 --> 00:08:11,018
and old.
201
00:08:12,161 --> 00:08:14,240
I... I'm sorry. I... I
didn't mean it that way.
202
00:08:14,248 --> 00:08:16,515
Oh, relax, Phil. I'm just funnin' with you.
203
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,613
[Chuckles] Mrs. Morgan is just
204
00:08:18,637 --> 00:08:20,487
funnin' with me. [Chuckles]
205
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,450
Whoo! [Chuckles]
206
00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:23,583
Your show
207
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,318
had such an impact on me
208
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:27,450
growing up.
209
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,300
Do you remember that episode, season six,
210
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,292
when you caught Marcus on the roof
211
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,595
smoking cigarettes with his buddies.
212
00:08:33,819 --> 00:08:36,772
And he was like, "I only did
it because everyone else did."
213
00:08:37,193 --> 00:08:38,831
And then you said to him,
214
00:08:39,858 --> 00:08:41,335
you remember what you said, don't you?
215
00:08:42,164 --> 00:08:43,583
I said,
216
00:08:44,773 --> 00:08:47,443
"wake up smell the bacon."
217
00:08:47,482 --> 00:08:50,587
- Yes, you did.
- [Both laughing]
218
00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:57,397
You sure you don't want
to try the strawberry?
219
00:08:57,432 --> 00:08:58,754
It's very tasty.
220
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:02,220
Well, what are we doing
back at the station?
221
00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:03,667
I paid for the whole night.
222
00:09:03,787 --> 00:09:04,883
My shift is done.
223
00:09:04,964 --> 00:09:06,394
Another officer will be taking over.
224
00:09:06,398 --> 00:09:08,104
I hope you've enjoyed your ride-along.
225
00:09:08,224 --> 00:09:09,933
Yeah, it's been my lifelong dream
226
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:12,034
to watch a cop eat a waffle cone.
227
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,383
[Sighs]
228
00:09:20,825 --> 00:09:22,262
Hey, buddy. Name's Burke.
229
00:09:22,382 --> 00:09:24,160
Haskell Lutz, your ride-along.
230
00:09:24,183 --> 00:09:26,346
Whoa, ride-along. No can do.
231
00:09:26,412 --> 00:09:27,972
When you sit in that passenger seat,
232
00:09:28,044 --> 00:09:29,288
you're my partner. [Clicks tongue]
233
00:09:30,126 --> 00:09:32,095
- Wow, that's great. 'Cause I've always want...
- Shut it!
234
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,358
Here are the rules.
235
00:09:33,536 --> 00:09:34,590
Whatever happens in this car,
236
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:35,602
whatever you see in this car,
237
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,579
whatever you hear his
car, stays in this car.
238
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,002
Do you have a problem with that?
239
00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:40,006
No, sir.
240
00:09:40,207 --> 00:09:41,634
You got a kevlar vest under that?
241
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,533
N... n... just a cotton-poly tee.
242
00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:47,827
Am I gonna need one?
243
00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:49,885
- Only if your number's up.
- [Laughing]
244
00:09:50,463 --> 00:09:53,130
- [Tires squealing]
- [Screams]
245
00:09:57,871 --> 00:09:59,405
Chef, I am adding
246
00:09:59,452 --> 00:10:03,487
precisely one tablespoon of
herbes de Provence to the sauce.
247
00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:05,352
I invite your critique.
248
00:10:07,812 --> 00:10:10,123
If I was hanging wallpaper I'd be thrilled/
249
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,669
It's viscous and lumpy.
250
00:10:13,704 --> 00:10:14,816
Thank you, Chef.
251
00:10:15,309 --> 00:10:16,790
Robert, [Grunts]
252
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,204
I can't for the life of me,
seem to get this cork out.
253
00:10:21,228 --> 00:10:22,410
Can you help?
254
00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,355
Just ease it here.
255
00:10:26,623 --> 00:10:27,596
Both: Aah!
256
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:32,822
Would you care to join me for a drink?
257
00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:34,458
I'd love to.
258
00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:36,383
[Phone ringing]
259
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,579
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
260
00:10:39,502 --> 00:10:40,486
Robert?
261
00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:44,258
I see what you're doing
with your little wine stunt,
262
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,207
but it's not gonna work.
I'm winning his attention,
263
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:48,474
- and his respect.
- Oh, really, lumpy?
264
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:52,986
He thinks your sauce
tastes like wallpaper glue.
265
00:10:54,064 --> 00:10:55,483
Oh, how little you know.
266
00:10:55,498 --> 00:10:58,328
That's how chefs speak to
their most talented apprentices.
267
00:10:58,339 --> 00:10:59,526
It means I'm dazzling him.
268
00:10:59,584 --> 00:11:02,608
Oh, yeah? Well, get ready
to meet Razzle and Dazzle.
269
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:05,934
Really?
270
00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:07,217
Really you're taking it there?
271
00:11:07,244 --> 00:11:08,996
Oh, yeah, and there's
more where that came from.
272
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,674
What you got, a third one?
273
00:11:19,104 --> 00:11:20,484
How are you holding up, Lutz?
274
00:11:20,503 --> 00:11:23,209
Shouldn't we be stopping
for some of these lights?
275
00:11:25,108 --> 00:11:26,631
Lights are for sheep, Lutz.
276
00:11:26,844 --> 00:11:29,318
Are you a wolf or a sheep, huh? Huh?
277
00:11:29,329 --> 00:11:31,027
'Cause we only got wolves in this car.
278
00:11:31,054 --> 00:11:32,663
[Howling]
279
00:11:33,372 --> 00:11:35,341
[Laughing] Let's hear it!
280
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:37,228
[Weak howling]
281
00:11:37,271 --> 00:11:38,081
Yeah.
282
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,857
All units, we have a 10-20 in progress,
283
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,233
at the corner of 95th and Broadway.
284
00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:45,713
10-20, that's an armed robbery.
285
00:11:45,729 --> 00:11:48,027
And that is two blocks
away. Oh, we got this!
286
00:11:48,052 --> 00:11:50,128
- [Screaming]
- [Laughing]
287
00:11:50,671 --> 00:11:52,354
Sh.. shouldn't we wait for back up?
288
00:11:52,396 --> 00:11:54,494
I already got backup. You, partner.
289
00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:56,218
No, no, no. I'm not your partner.
290
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:57,439
I'm the ride-along.
291
00:11:57,525 --> 00:12:00,036
I just wanted to send the kids to camp.
292
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:02,216
- [Laughing]
- [Screaming]
293
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,993
[Tires squealing]
294
00:12:05,045 --> 00:12:06,657
There's the mini-mart.
295
00:12:07,313 --> 00:12:08,591
I'm going in.
296
00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:11,277
If anybody gets past me,
297
00:12:12,126 --> 00:12:13,111
handle it.
298
00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:18,639
Handle it?
299
00:12:18,723 --> 00:12:20,897
W... w... what do you mean, "handle it?"
300
00:12:20,932 --> 00:12:22,983
That's a very vague instruction.
301
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:27,204
[Mumbling]
302
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:28,913
Hello?
303
00:12:29,894 --> 00:12:31,622
This is Haskell Lutz,
304
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,131
the ride-along.
305
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,949
I want to go home now.
306
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,743
Over.
307
00:12:38,703 --> 00:12:40,584
- Well, what do we have here?
- [Screaming]
308
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:44,248
N... n... n... nobody.
I'm just an auction winner.
309
00:12:44,368 --> 00:12:45,915
You're a cop. You're wearing a badge.
310
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:47,704
No, no, no. No, it's not a real badge.
311
00:12:47,711 --> 00:12:51,412
It... it... it's a novelty badge.
See, it says, "Little sheriff".
312
00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:54,222
I don't care. Cops is cops.
313
00:12:54,265 --> 00:12:56,513
- And I hate cops!
- No, please, please.
314
00:12:56,528 --> 00:12:58,645
Please let me go, look, I can't I.D. you.
315
00:12:58,671 --> 00:12:59,877
I've never seen your face.
316
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,307
- You wanna see my face?
- No, I don't!
317
00:13:01,315 --> 00:13:03,687
- You wanna see my face?
- I don't!
318
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:06,657
Gotcha [Laughing]
319
00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:08,339
It's you?
320
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:10,313
Yeah, I cuffed him
inside, and took his mask.
321
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:13,165
[Laughs]
322
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:15,620
How much fun was that?
323
00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:19,720
I think I just went code eight.
324
00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:28,797
Now, you sure
325
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,382
you don't mind autographing
a few more things?
326
00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:33,824
As long as they don't wind up on eBay.
327
00:13:34,072 --> 00:13:35,180
'Cause if they do,
328
00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:36,513
I want a cut.
329
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:38,203
But I would never sell...
330
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:40,749
Wait a second, you're kidding
with me again, aren't you?
331
00:13:40,765 --> 00:13:41,490
[Laughs]
332
00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:43,649
Mrs. Morgans crackin'
jokes in my apartment.
333
00:13:43,673 --> 00:13:44,258
[Chuckles]
334
00:13:44,378 --> 00:13:45,623
Hey, I'll be right back.
335
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,692
Okay, it just a few things.
336
00:13:57,131 --> 00:13:58,026
[Chuckles]
337
00:13:58,263 --> 00:13:59,964
Mrs. M is in my bedroom.
338
00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:00,545
[Chuckles]
339
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:02,564
Why is Mrs. M in my bedroom?
340
00:14:03,414 --> 00:14:06,015
Wake up and smell the bacon!
341
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,821
What are you doing?
342
00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:12,232
I'm sorry. Am I being too subtle?
343
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,217
[Grunts]
344
00:14:13,255 --> 00:14:16,280
Hey. [Chuckles]
345
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,850
No, but, uh...
346
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,632
I can't fool around with Mrs. M.
347
00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:22,760
[Chuckles] I mean...
348
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,183
what would Mr. M would think?
349
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,106
Phil, Phil.
350
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,836
Mrs. M is in reruns.
351
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,708
Caren Dupree,
352
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,166
is live and in your bedroom.
353
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,546
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
354
00:14:37,116 --> 00:14:38,149
Oh, mama.
355
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:41,186
I ain't your mama, Phil.
356
00:14:41,205 --> 00:14:43,337
Oh. Hoo-hoo-hoo.
357
00:14:43,457 --> 00:14:45,698
Hey, do you, uh, remember that episode
358
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,194
when y'all went ice fishing?
359
00:14:47,613 --> 00:14:49,059
How big was that salmon?
360
00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:52,545
What's wrong, Phil?
361
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,595
Nothin", I... I...
362
00:14:55,672 --> 00:14:56,897
I just can't do this.
363
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,149
I see.
364
00:14:59,877 --> 00:15:02,669
- You're not attracted to me.
- No, it's not that...
365
00:15:03,576 --> 00:15:06,223
I just don't think of you that way.
366
00:15:06,998 --> 00:15:09,195
This is so embarrassing.
367
00:15:09,754 --> 00:15:12,092
I don't usually do things like this.
368
00:15:12,592 --> 00:15:14,646
Oh, baby, the truth...
369
00:15:15,076 --> 00:15:17,659
- is I just came out of a divorce.
- Mm.
370
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:21,220
- I guess I'm feeling kinda lonely.
- I totally get that.
371
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,160
Yeah. I'm divorced, too.
372
00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,745
My wife walked out on me,
373
00:15:25,162 --> 00:15:27,051
I didn't feel too good about myself.
374
00:15:27,434 --> 00:15:28,748
How did you get through it?
375
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:30,924
I'm not gonna lie... it was hard.
376
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,320
But,
377
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,478
each day,
378
00:15:34,005 --> 00:15:35,556
it hurt a little less.
379
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,972
And eventually, you move on.
380
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:40,545
Caren...
381
00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,130
come here.
382
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,682
You're a beautiful woman.
383
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,787
And you're gonna meet someone great.
384
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:52,196
You really think I'm still beautiful?
385
00:15:52,215 --> 00:15:53,218
Hey:
386
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:55,951
Wake up and smell the bacon.
387
00:15:56,071 --> 00:15:58,606
[Laughing] Oh.
388
00:16:05,249 --> 00:16:07,279
Chef, permission to leave
the line and start plating.
389
00:16:07,454 --> 00:16:08,936
Permission granted.
390
00:16:09,799 --> 00:16:11,547
he's an eager little fellow, isn't he?
391
00:16:11,712 --> 00:16:13,093
Yeah. It's just that this lesson
392
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:14,486
means so much to him.
393
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:17,313
You know, he's really proud that
you're being so though on him
394
00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:19,028
because you think he has so much potential.
395
00:16:19,076 --> 00:16:20,782
Oh, no. I'm being tough on him
396
00:16:20,797 --> 00:16:22,197
because he is dreadful.
397
00:16:23,476 --> 00:16:24,494
Ready, Chef.
398
00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:32,809
All right. Let's see what we have.
399
00:16:34,908 --> 00:16:37,068
I have for you today a pasta primavera
400
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,413
with a handmade linguini
and market vegetables.
401
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,210
The vegetables are soggy and overcooked.
402
00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:45,305
Good to know, Chef.
403
00:16:47,747 --> 00:16:49,618
The sauce is bland and chalky.
404
00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:51,052
Excellent. I'll work on that.
405
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:55,282
So, minor imperfections aside,
406
00:16:55,301 --> 00:16:56,503
what do you think of the dish as a whole?
407
00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:59,274
- A hole is probably where I'd bury it.
- Okay!
408
00:16:59,312 --> 00:17:01,091
Alright. Well, lesson over.
409
00:17:01,096 --> 00:17:02,329
We each got what we came for.
410
00:17:02,345 --> 00:17:04,028
- You go forth and cook, Stuart.
- No, no, no, no.
411
00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:04,812
- Go, go.
- Holly, Holly.
412
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:06,233
This is valuable feedback.
413
00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:09,203
So, do you think I have a future
in the culinary arts, tell me?
414
00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:10,316
Chef to chef?
415
00:17:10,384 --> 00:17:12,003
"Chef to chef?"
416
00:17:12,936 --> 00:17:13,901
You're not a chef.
417
00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:16,414
You're a poser playing dress-up.
418
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,934
You follow you don't...
419
00:17:18,278 --> 00:17:19,698
invent, you measure.
420
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,924
You don't create. You cook with your head.
421
00:17:21,996 --> 00:17:23,884
Chefs cook with their hearts, so...
422
00:17:24,386 --> 00:17:25,695
in answer to your question,
423
00:17:25,722 --> 00:17:27,756
do you have a future in
the culinary arts? Yes.
424
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:29,667
As a diner.
425
00:17:34,376 --> 00:17:35,979
Sorry I wasted your time.
426
00:17:41,081 --> 00:17:41,636
So...
427
00:17:42,535 --> 00:17:43,438
where were we?
428
00:17:43,807 --> 00:17:45,773
[Sighs ] I think it's my turn
429
00:17:45,779 --> 00:17:46,883
to critique you.
430
00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:49,311
You know, decent human being to
431
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,743
pompous self-inflated jackass.
432
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,456
You may be a famous chef
433
00:17:54,478 --> 00:17:56,468
but you're not half the man that Stuart is.
434
00:17:56,487 --> 00:17:57,771
So, in answer to your question,
435
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,788
"where were we?"
436
00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:00,662
You were leaving.
437
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,178
That's too bad.
438
00:18:04,507 --> 00:18:06,864
Because you should know,
I'm not only a great chef,
439
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,230
I'm also a brilliant lover.
440
00:18:13,388 --> 00:18:15,221
No! Get out.
441
00:18:20,278 --> 00:18:21,791
[Crying]
442
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,534
[Panting]
443
00:18:28,788 --> 00:18:30,333
Never get off the couch.
444
00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:32,498
Never get off the couch.
445
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:36,981
Ride-along wasn't what you expected?
446
00:18:37,101 --> 00:18:38,364
I met the devil.
447
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,214
He was not a nice man.
448
00:18:45,103 --> 00:18:45,980
How was your night?
449
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:48,467
Haskell, I did a great thing, man.
450
00:18:48,981 --> 00:18:50,684
I made a woman feel good about herself,
451
00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:52,445
by not having sex with her.
452
00:18:54,895 --> 00:18:56,844
Oh, borrowed a page from my book.
453
00:18:58,786 --> 00:18:59,545
Hey.
454
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,347
Anyone see Stuart?
455
00:19:01,394 --> 00:19:02,172
Kitchen.
456
00:19:07,262 --> 00:19:08,580
Can you believe that guy?
457
00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:10,509
What an arrogant jerk, huh?
458
00:19:10,853 --> 00:19:11,796
Agreed.
459
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:15,241
I hope you didn't take
anything he said seriously.
460
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:17,125
Actually, I did.
461
00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:19,770
Oh, no, Stuart, you can't.
462
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:21,227
He doesn't know what he's talking about,
463
00:19:21,233 --> 00:19:23,152
I know what cooking means to you, and...
464
00:19:23,465 --> 00:19:24,674
I would hate it if that
465
00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:26,525
blowhard took away your passion.
466
00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:28,064
Take it away? He crushed it.
467
00:19:28,238 --> 00:19:29,339
Oh.
468
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,581
But then I thought about it,
469
00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:32,673
and I realized he was right.
470
00:19:33,227 --> 00:19:34,596
I mean, if I ever want to be a chef,
471
00:19:34,618 --> 00:19:36,569
I can't just follow recipes.
I have to dig deeper.
472
00:19:36,578 --> 00:19:37,620
I have to learn
473
00:19:37,623 --> 00:19:38,770
to cook with my soul.
474
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,861
So, you're not devastated. He...
475
00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:43,098
didn't crushed your dream?
476
00:19:43,489 --> 00:19:44,128
No.
477
00:19:44,473 --> 00:19:45,617
Not at all. In fact...
478
00:19:45,823 --> 00:19:47,513
I think it was the best
cooking lesson ever.
479
00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:50,668
So I threw out a perfectly
hot guy for nothing?!
480
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,376
Come on, Razzle and Dazzle.
481
00:19:56,385 --> 00:19:57,920
Let's go get that chef.
482
00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:00,768
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