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1
00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:05,543
Hello, all.
2
00:00:05,544 --> 00:00:08,628
If I'm beaming, it's because
something wonderful has happened.
3
00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,364
I'm about to become a partner
4
00:00:10,365 --> 00:00:12,973
in the most prestigious
dental practice in New York City.
5
00:00:12,974 --> 00:00:14,510
- Oh.
- Wow, Stuart.
6
00:00:14,511 --> 00:00:17,125
Sounds incredibly snooty
and overpriced.
7
00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:18,545
Ah...
8
00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:20,649
Oh, it is. [Laughter]
9
00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,619
I've met the partners.
They love my work.
10
00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:24,891
There's just one final hurdle.
11
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,338
The swimsuit competition?
12
00:00:27,764 --> 00:00:29,497
[Clears throat]
The senior partner is hosting
13
00:00:29,498 --> 00:00:32,435
a dinner party to make
sure that we all mesh socially.
14
00:00:32,436 --> 00:00:34,138
My companion for the evening
15
00:00:34,139 --> 00:00:36,779
will be a woman of extraordinary
beauty and sophistication.
16
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:39,494
Well, you've gotta spend
money to make money.
17
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,621
Stuart, I'm really happy for you.
18
00:00:43,622 --> 00:00:44,846
- Congratulations.
- Yes, me too.
19
00:00:44,847 --> 00:00:46,392
- Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
- Oh, well, I...
20
00:00:46,393 --> 00:00:49,830
I wouldn't say no to
a celebratory libation.
21
00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:54,138
How the hell did we pop
out of the same womb?
22
00:00:54,139 --> 00:00:56,743
What a day.
23
00:00:56,744 --> 00:00:59,211
I just got a text from a
young lady I used to date
24
00:00:59,212 --> 00:01:00,479
that she might be pregnant.
25
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,947
- Oh.
- My God, Phil.
26
00:01:01,948 --> 00:01:03,016
I know.
27
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:05,856
I spent an hour sweating it out
waiting for the results.
28
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:06,991
And?
29
00:01:06,992 --> 00:01:08,659
And the pee stick
came back negative.
30
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:10,028
Oh!
31
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,399
Yeah. She even sent me a picture.
32
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,273
Oh. What a cute little minus sign.
33
00:01:16,274 --> 00:01:19,375
Phil, let me be the first to say
34
00:01:19,376 --> 00:01:21,712
you're an idiot.
35
00:01:21,713 --> 00:01:23,949
How the hell could
you let this happen?
36
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,418
I use protection.
37
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,855
It's not my fault
I have super sperm
38
00:01:26,856 --> 00:01:30,225
that can bust through latex.
39
00:01:30,226 --> 00:01:31,861
I hear you.
40
00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:33,464
When you're out there
as much as we are,
41
00:01:33,465 --> 00:01:36,437
sooner or later, one of your
boys is gonna pull a Houdini.
42
00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:40,610
- Listen, Phil.
- Hmm?
43
00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,881
Eventually, your
luck is gonna run out.
44
00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:44,316
Now might be the right time
45
00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:46,753
to start thinking about making
some serious changes.
46
00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:48,022
You're absolutely right.
47
00:01:48,023 --> 00:01:51,630
I've been thinking about
getting a vasectomy.
48
00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:53,265
I read a study that said
49
00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:55,368
that women are more
likely to sleep with a man
50
00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:58,038
who's had a vasectomy.
51
00:01:58,039 --> 00:02:03,274
That could be just the little push
I've been needing at closing time.
52
00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:07,680
- Well, I'll do it if you do it.
- And I'll do it if you do it.
53
00:02:07,681 --> 00:02:10,749
We'll do it together.
We'll be snip buddies.
54
00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:13,619
I would be proud to get
neutered with you.
55
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:14,954
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Yeah!
56
00:02:14,955 --> 00:02:19,791
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You guys.
This is a life-changing decision.
57
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:23,630
I mean, how do you know you won't
wanna have kids someday?
58
00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:25,099
She's right. You want kids?
59
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,478
- No, you?
- No.
60
00:02:28,036 --> 00:02:29,437
Thank you.
61
00:02:29,438 --> 00:02:31,605
I'm still trying to decide
what to wear to the party.
62
00:02:31,606 --> 00:02:36,875
Should I go with my classic brioni
or my more relaxed Armani?
63
00:02:36,876 --> 00:02:40,280
Well, that depends. Are you
wearing your hair up or down?
64
00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:41,682
Mm.
65
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,116
[Cell phone rings] You know...
66
00:02:44,117 --> 00:02:46,083
Oh, it's my date for Saturday night.
67
00:02:46,084 --> 00:02:48,220
[Chuckles] Bonjour, ma cherie.
68
00:02:48,221 --> 00:02:50,189
[Chuckles] [Clears throat]
69
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:52,190
She's French. Yeah.
70
00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:54,325
Uh-huh. Ca va bien. Et toi?
71
00:02:54,326 --> 00:02:56,630
Oui, oui, oui, oui.
72
00:02:56,631 --> 00:03:00,268
Well, that's a load of horse crap.
73
00:03:00,269 --> 00:03:02,001
Uh, hello? Hello?
74
00:03:02,002 --> 00:03:03,336
She just canceled on me,
75
00:03:03,337 --> 00:03:05,940
some nonsense about
having to fly to Paris for work.
76
00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:07,174
Mm.
77
00:03:07,175 --> 00:03:09,238
Sounds like you're le screwed.
78
00:03:11,878 --> 00:03:14,215
What am I supposed to do?
I don't have a date for the party.
79
00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:17,885
- Oh, what's the big deal? Just go alone.
- I can't. I already rsvped plus-one.
80
00:03:17,886 --> 00:03:19,153
How's that gonna look?
81
00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:22,291
Three partners, their wives,
me, an empty chair.
82
00:03:22,292 --> 00:03:26,128
No, no, no, I have to find
someone to replace her.
83
00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:29,164
Well, if it helps you out,
I'll go with you.
84
00:03:31,469 --> 00:03:34,434
Who could I possibly find
at this late hour?
85
00:03:34,435 --> 00:03:38,270
Yoo hoo? Hello? I am asking you out.
86
00:03:38,271 --> 00:03:40,038
Thank you, but I don't
think it would work out.
87
00:03:40,039 --> 00:03:41,641
Why not?
88
00:03:41,642 --> 00:03:42,943
Well, for one thing, you're my sister.
89
00:03:42,944 --> 00:03:47,881
Uh, well, it wouldn't be the first time
you took a relative to a party.
90
00:03:47,882 --> 00:03:49,249
[Chuckles]
91
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:53,216
Nicki, no offense, but you're
just not what I had in mind.
92
00:03:53,217 --> 00:03:54,751
That's okay.
No offense taken.
93
00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:55,753
- Okay.
- Yeah, come here.
94
00:03:55,754 --> 00:03:56,755
You have something on your shirt.
95
00:03:56,756 --> 00:03:58,057
- What?
- Yeah, right here...
96
00:03:58,058 --> 00:03:59,493
Ow, oh! Ow, ow.
97
00:03:59,494 --> 00:04:00,660
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
98
00:04:00,661 --> 00:04:01,661
[Upbeat music]
99
00:04:01,662 --> 00:04:08,069
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
100
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:10,473
The Exes - S03E19
My Fair Stuart
101
00:04:11,873 --> 00:04:12,941
[Knocks at door]
102
00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:14,878
Yeah, come on in.
103
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,848
- Hey, Stuart, what's up?
- I'm desperate.
104
00:04:17,849 --> 00:04:20,217
My date for the partners'
dinner bailed on me.
105
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,520
I've called every woman I know.
At this point, I just need a warm body.
106
00:04:23,521 --> 00:04:24,692
Will you go with me?
107
00:04:27,157 --> 00:04:28,158
You know what's sad?
108
00:04:28,159 --> 00:04:31,763
That's the exact same way
I got asked to my prom.
109
00:04:31,764 --> 00:04:34,431
Just l'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You know what? That came out wrong.
110
00:04:34,432 --> 00:04:37,270
Look, you're charming. You're beautiful.
You're sophisticated.
111
00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:39,105
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put the shovel down. I'll go.
112
00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:40,274
Oh.
113
00:04:40,275 --> 00:04:41,975
Thank you. Thank you.
114
00:04:41,976 --> 00:04:44,511
Aw, I can almost see my
name on the door now.
115
00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:47,213
Grayson, Davidson,
Gardner, and Fischbach.
116
00:04:47,214 --> 00:04:48,716
Dr. Larry Fischbach?
117
00:04:48,717 --> 00:04:51,453
Yeah. Oh, my God.
How perfect is this?
118
00:04:51,454 --> 00:04:53,620
- You know him?
- Oh, I know him.
119
00:04:53,621 --> 00:04:57,894
I represented his ex-wife
in their divorce.
120
00:04:57,895 --> 00:05:01,496
I gutted him like a fish...
121
00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:04,065
Bach.
122
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,768
Well, you're useless.
123
00:05:05,769 --> 00:05:06,804
What am I supposed to do?
124
00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:08,639
- [Knocks at door]
- Hi, hi.
125
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,107
- What about Eden?
- Eden?
126
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:11,207
You're right. She's smart.
127
00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:13,209
She's funny. She's pretty.
128
00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:14,244
[Chuckles]
129
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,520
- Eden, what the hell happened?
- Do me a favor.
130
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,256
If you ever hear me say the words,
131
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,624
"I bet I can catch a
champagne cork in my mouth,"
132
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,159
stop me.
133
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:34,398
Hey, Nicki.
134
00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:35,800
What?
135
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:38,403
Well, I've been thinking
about your generous offer
136
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:43,771
to accompany me to the
dinner party Saturday night.
137
00:05:43,772 --> 00:05:46,372
And, you know, upon reflection...
Crapped out, huh?
138
00:05:46,373 --> 00:05:48,607
- Big time.
- Yeah.
139
00:05:48,608 --> 00:05:51,478
Nicki, will you please go with me?
140
00:05:51,479 --> 00:05:53,481
- Please.
- One more please?
141
00:05:53,482 --> 00:05:56,016
- Please.
- Nah, I got plans.
142
00:05:56,017 --> 00:05:57,453
Aw.
143
00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:59,826
Come on, I'm yanking your chain.
I'll go with you.
144
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,361
Aw. Thank you, Nicki. [Chuckles]
145
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,430
Yes! Whoo, hoo!
146
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,332
Sorry. Just got excited.
147
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:10,503
My sister agreed to go out with me.
148
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,039
[Chuckles]
149
00:06:15,487 --> 00:06:18,291
- [Hums]
- Finally.
150
00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:19,659
Where the hell had you
go for food, man?
151
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:22,600
Jersey? Actually, yes.
152
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,735
But for sonic, it's worth it.
153
00:06:24,736 --> 00:06:26,433
It's made to order, and it's brought out
154
00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:28,301
by a lovely young
woman on roller skates.
155
00:06:28,302 --> 00:06:31,139
Well, who needs her when
I got you, big guy?
156
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,174
Well, I wasn't fishing for compliments,
157
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,807
but thanks.
158
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:36,443
[Chuckles]
159
00:06:36,444 --> 00:06:38,213
Hey, guys.
160
00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:39,918
Look who I found in the lobby.
161
00:06:39,919 --> 00:06:42,119
You remember Cooper from upstairs?
162
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,454
- Yeah, hi, kid.
- Hey, what's up, man?
163
00:06:43,455 --> 00:06:44,455
Hey.
164
00:06:44,456 --> 00:06:45,790
Hey, Phil.
165
00:06:45,791 --> 00:06:48,025
Couldn't you see
yourself tossing a ball around
166
00:06:48,026 --> 00:06:50,691
with a kid like this
on a Sunday afternoon?
167
00:06:50,692 --> 00:06:52,459
Uhhuh.
168
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,891
And Haskell, wouldn't it be great
169
00:06:53,892 --> 00:06:55,358
to have a kid like this to wake you up
170
00:06:55,359 --> 00:06:57,425
in case there was a fire?
171
00:06:57,426 --> 00:06:59,528
If I wanted to know if there was a fire,
172
00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:02,631
I would've put a battery in that thing.
173
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:04,467
Anyway, I know what you're up to.
174
00:07:04,468 --> 00:07:06,302
Yeah, you're not gonna change our minds
175
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:07,369
about having the procedure.
176
00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:09,003
Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
177
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:13,039
It's just that sometimes
in our busy, single lives,
178
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:17,609
we lose sight of the
joys of having children.
179
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:20,577
How come you don't have kids?
180
00:07:20,578 --> 00:07:22,479
Well, little guy,
181
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,281
I just haven't met the right man yet.
182
00:07:24,282 --> 00:07:26,015
What if you don't?
183
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:27,750
I will. He's out there somewhere.
184
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,516
[Laughs] But what if he isn't?
185
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,716
I said he is.
186
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:34,087
My mom said, "your boat has sailed."
187
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:36,758
My boat is fine.
188
00:07:36,759 --> 00:07:40,361
It just hasn't left the dock in a while.
189
00:07:46,637 --> 00:07:47,739
- Hey.
- Hi, Nicki.
190
00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:48,740
Whatcha doin' here?
191
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:51,041
Well, I come bearing gifts.
192
00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:53,477
I bought you a little something
to wear to the party.
193
00:07:53,478 --> 00:07:56,484
Stuart, what do you think, I'm some
rube that doesn't know how to dress?
194
00:07:56,485 --> 00:07:58,052
I think I'll wear whatever I...
195
00:07:58,053 --> 00:07:59,787
- Ooh, that is nice.
- Mmhmm.
196
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:01,290
[Chuckles]
197
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:02,491
Thank you. It's Kate spade.
198
00:08:02,492 --> 00:08:05,261
Oh. We have to date more often.
199
00:08:05,262 --> 00:08:08,098
Okay, now, remember,
no one at the party
200
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:09,201
can know that you're my sister.
201
00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:11,906
Yes, I know. I know.
I'm your date Nicki.
202
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,842
Actually, you're my date Nicole.
203
00:08:14,843 --> 00:08:16,278
What? What's wrong with Nicki?
204
00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:17,646
- It is my name.
- I know.
205
00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,481
But Nicole sounds elegant.
206
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,752
Nicki sounds like someone
who would pay you a visit
207
00:08:21,753 --> 00:08:26,253
if the jets don't cover the spread.
208
00:08:26,254 --> 00:08:28,291
All right, all right,
you sprung for the dress.
209
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:29,994
- I will give you Nicole.
- Thank you.
210
00:08:29,995 --> 00:08:33,732
Now, all we have to do is
come up with an occupation for you.
211
00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,301
I've got one, Bartender.
212
00:08:35,302 --> 00:08:37,738
Okay, but how about we
class it up a little bit
213
00:08:37,739 --> 00:08:39,541
and call you "master sommelier"?
214
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:40,874
Hm? Ah.
215
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,108
How much do you know about wine?
216
00:08:42,109 --> 00:08:45,414
What's there to know?
There's white, red, rose, and fizzy.
217
00:08:45,415 --> 00:08:46,749
Oh, I'm so screwed.
218
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,452
Stuart, come on. I'm kidding with you.
219
00:08:48,453 --> 00:08:50,923
- Will you lighten up?
- I can't, I can't.
220
00:08:50,924 --> 00:08:53,293
Look, being a part of
a practice like this
221
00:08:53,294 --> 00:08:55,096
is something I've
dreamed of all my life.
222
00:08:55,097 --> 00:08:56,632
Well, listen, you
don't have to worry about me.
223
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:57,866
I'm great at parties.
224
00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,451
I know how to tawk to people.
225
00:09:03,379 --> 00:09:06,046
You mean you know how to talk to people.
226
00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:07,782
- Right, that's what I said.
- [Chuckles]
227
00:09:07,783 --> 00:09:09,185
No, you said "tawk."
228
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:11,520
It's "talk."
229
00:09:11,521 --> 00:09:12,820
- That's right, tawk.
- No, talk.
230
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:13,855
- Tawk.
- Talk.
231
00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:15,524
- Tawk.
- There's no W in "talk."
232
00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:17,894
Okay, fine, tawk, tawk,
233
00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:22,035
and now I am wawking you to the dawr.
234
00:09:22,036 --> 00:09:26,071
- There's no "W" in "door."
- Oh, shut up.
235
00:09:30,342 --> 00:09:31,642
[Doorbell rings]
236
00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:38,280
Stuart. Come on in.
237
00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:39,848
- Glad you could make it.
- Thank you.
238
00:09:39,849 --> 00:09:41,050
And who is this lovely lady?
239
00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:43,686
Ah, this is my date, Nicole.
240
00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:45,854
Nicole, I'd like you to
meet Dr. Nicholas Grayson.
241
00:09:45,855 --> 00:09:48,591
Please. My friends call me Nicky.
242
00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:51,057
- Oh.
- What a nice name.
243
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,158
Pleasure to meet you.
244
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,659
Stuart, Nicole,
this is my wife, Miriam.
245
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:55,760
- Hello.
- Hello.
246
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,396
Please, call me Micki.
247
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,067
Oh.
248
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:00,536
Another nice name.
249
00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,103
That is an absolutely gorgeous dress.
250
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:06,171
Oh, thank you.
It's Kate Spade.
251
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,173
Yes, Stuart surprised me with it.
252
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,377
He said, "no occasion, just because."
253
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:11,379
[Laughter]
254
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:12,647
Good for you, Stuart.
255
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:15,782
It is important to
keep the romance alive.
256
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:20,621
Yes. I completely agree.
257
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:28,494
[Mutters indistinctly]
258
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,064
- Stuart.
- Thank God!
259
00:10:30,065 --> 00:10:31,666
Hello. Hello.
260
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,004
Dr. Davidson, hello. Hi.
261
00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:36,341
- This is my date, Nicole.
- This is my wife, Tanner.
262
00:10:36,342 --> 00:10:38,845
Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you.
263
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,379
You look awfully familiar.
264
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:41,846
Oh, I don't think we know each other.
265
00:10:41,847 --> 00:10:43,881
Are you sure?
Where'd you go to school?
266
00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:45,517
She went to Vassar.
267
00:10:45,518 --> 00:10:47,654
I went to Vassar.
268
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:50,658
Oh, what are the odds? [Laughter]
269
00:10:50,659 --> 00:10:52,027
Well, we're about the same age.
270
00:10:52,028 --> 00:10:54,129
Oh, you must have known Lindsey Pruit.
271
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:56,232
- You know, I don't...
- Actually, yes!
272
00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:58,367
Yes, I do remember Lindsey.
273
00:10:58,368 --> 00:11:00,869
Yeah, she was the one who
was always bragging about...
274
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,835
- Her horses.
- Mmm. Right, right.
275
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,369
And then she was going
out with that, uh...
276
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,670
- Frederick.
- Yeah.
277
00:11:05,671 --> 00:11:06,871
Oh, my God, what a bore!
278
00:11:06,872 --> 00:11:09,006
We were so relieved when they broke up.
279
00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:11,344
Yes. I was so happy when
she finally met, uh...
280
00:11:11,345 --> 00:11:13,249
Susan.
281
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,352
I did not see that coming.
282
00:11:15,353 --> 00:11:16,987
Well...
283
00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:22,930
[Whimpers]
284
00:11:25,468 --> 00:11:29,102
[Panting, whimpering]
285
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:34,140
Ow... ow... ow... ow...
286
00:11:34,141 --> 00:11:37,478
[Grunts]
287
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,980
The doctor said there, uh...
288
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:42,915
There'd be some discomfort
and mild swelling.
289
00:11:42,916 --> 00:11:45,385
Mild? I feel like I'm
smuggling egg plants
290
00:11:45,386 --> 00:11:47,690
between my legs!
291
00:11:51,228 --> 00:11:52,495
Aah!
292
00:11:55,732 --> 00:11:57,933
The worst part is over. Look.
293
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:02,208
Now all you have to do
is put these on.
294
00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:09,979
On what?
295
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,383
Well, according to the
post surgical instructions,
296
00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:16,452
you have to wear them for support.
297
00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:20,622
Okay.
298
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:24,294
But there's gonna be some overflow.
299
00:12:24,295 --> 00:12:27,598
It also says here you're gonna
need some ice for the swelling.
300
00:12:27,599 --> 00:12:29,402
I'll go get you some. Does it say
301
00:12:29,403 --> 00:12:31,505
when I can have sex again?
302
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,707
It says in a week.
303
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,241
Please let it be me.
304
00:12:44,519 --> 00:12:46,487
You guys are...
305
00:12:46,488 --> 00:12:48,123
Ow!
306
00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:49,926
Ow...
307
00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:51,661
Don't you "ow" me.
308
00:12:51,662 --> 00:12:54,166
You didn't go through with it, did you?
309
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:56,202
I was planning to, and
then the nurse came in
310
00:12:56,203 --> 00:12:58,739
and she said the most
terrifying thing I ever heard.
311
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:00,341
- What?
- Mr. Lutz...
312
00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:01,709
You're next.
313
00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:09,585
Nicki, I need to use the restroom.
314
00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:14,457
Well, aren't you a big
boy for letting me know?
315
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:16,280
You gonna be okay if
I leave you here alone?
316
00:13:16,281 --> 00:13:17,303
Stuart, would you knock it off?
317
00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:20,932
You've been babysitting
me all night... go pee-pee. Go!
318
00:13:23,624 --> 00:13:25,724
Oh, wonderful news.
319
00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:29,308
The orchestra we want is available
for Ralph and Laura's wedding.
320
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:33,338
Great! I'm paying for 30 musicians,
and our son can't dance a step.
321
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,049
What? Who can't dance?
322
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,650
Our son Ralph.
323
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:41,049
What? That's ridiculous!
I can teach him.
324
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:42,772
That's very kind of you,
but you don't have to.
325
00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:46,389
No, I have to. A groom
has to dance at his own wedding!
326
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,924
Come on. We can do it right now.
327
00:13:47,925 --> 00:13:50,794
- Now?
- Yes. No time like the present.
328
00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,395
Come on, let's get it going!
329
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,599
Hey, Docs, I need
you to move this table.
330
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,802
Make a little room here.
331
00:13:56,803 --> 00:14:00,438
Right. Get a little exercise
in ya, right?
332
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:03,744
And do you have anything
with like a Latin beat?
333
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:05,379
- I think so.
- Great!
334
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,884
What's, uh, what's going on?
335
00:14:09,885 --> 00:14:11,954
We doing some kind of party game?
336
00:14:11,955 --> 00:14:15,026
No, your girlfriend is about to
give the Graysons' son a dance lesson.
337
00:14:15,027 --> 00:14:17,496
- She's what?
- Yeah!
338
00:14:17,497 --> 00:14:19,900
'Scuse me. Nicole. Nicole.
339
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,302
- Yeah?
- 'Scuse me.
340
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:24,675
- What the hell are you doing? Sit down!
- Oh, would you relax, Stuart? I got this.
341
00:14:24,676 --> 00:14:27,043
What is keeping that klutz?
342
00:14:27,044 --> 00:14:28,711
- Here he is.
- Oh!
343
00:14:28,712 --> 00:14:30,615
Hello. I'm Ralph.
344
00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:32,586
Hi, Ralph.
345
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,290
Well, congratulations on your wedding.
346
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:37,562
- Well, thanks.
- What's the matter with you?
347
00:14:37,563 --> 00:14:39,961
- You can't dance?
- Dancing just isn't my thing.
348
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:44,668
No? Well, I can teach you, okay?
Now, just let the music take you.
349
00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:48,007
Don't think too much about it. Okay.
One hand here. One hand here.
350
00:14:48,008 --> 00:14:49,193
Now, just let the music take you.
351
00:14:49,194 --> 00:14:50,187
[Latin music starts]
Don't think. Here we go.
352
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,674
We're gonna go quick, quick, slow.
353
00:14:52,675 --> 00:14:54,140
Quick, quick, slow.
354
00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:55,842
Yeah, this is not great. You know what?
355
00:14:55,843 --> 00:14:57,812
Get your hips into it, man! Come on!
356
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,583
There ya go! Quick, quick, slow...
357
00:15:00,584 --> 00:15:02,519
That's right. Okay,
you're gonna turn me.
358
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,520
Don't be scared. Oh, yes!
359
00:15:04,521 --> 00:15:06,087
Very good. I got this.
360
00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:07,688
Yeah, you got... What's this?
361
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,356
What's this... What do you know?
362
00:15:09,357 --> 00:15:11,373
- It's all in the hips.
- Yeah, it is all in the hips,
363
00:15:11,374 --> 00:15:13,425
isn't it? Uh-huh!
364
00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:15,893
Uh-oh, look at... Oh. Okay.
365
00:15:15,894 --> 00:15:17,894
Well, I did have a lesson in college.
366
00:15:17,895 --> 00:15:19,695
Or two. Yeah? Uh-huh.
367
00:15:19,696 --> 00:15:21,530
Oh! Okay, listen.
368
00:15:21,531 --> 00:15:22,897
Oh, I ain't scared of you, buddy.
369
00:15:22,898 --> 00:15:25,566
I'll do it. Let's do it!
370
00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:27,901
Let's do it. Oh, my!
371
00:15:27,902 --> 00:15:29,670
Oh, yeah, okay, come on...
372
00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:31,572
Whoo! Very strong.
373
00:15:37,647 --> 00:15:39,250
You know what?
374
00:15:41,622 --> 00:15:44,023
For a beginner, you are not that bad.
375
00:15:44,024 --> 00:15:45,725
I know. I know.
376
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,561
I think I'm ready for dancing
with the stars.
377
00:15:47,562 --> 00:15:48,731
Okay.
378
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,599
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
379
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,234
Button that back up, okay?
380
00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:55,705
Nicole, that was wonderful!
381
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,106
Oh, my pleasure!
382
00:15:57,107 --> 00:15:58,907
And on that lovely note,
383
00:15:58,908 --> 00:16:00,508
the dinner is ready.
384
00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:01,776
[Chuckles]
385
00:16:01,777 --> 00:16:03,812
Wow.
386
00:16:03,813 --> 00:16:06,616
Wow! You almost gave me a coronary.
387
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:10,586
Somehow it all worked out.
388
00:16:10,587 --> 00:16:12,221
- Somehow.
- Yeah.
389
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,123
- I didn't know you could dance.
- Yeah. You didn't think
390
00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:16,591
I could dance or dress
myself or talk to people.
391
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:19,330
You know what?
These people accept me,
392
00:16:19,331 --> 00:16:22,303
where as you... You're ashamed of me.
393
00:16:22,304 --> 00:16:23,906
- That's not true.
- Oh, that's not true?
394
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:26,641
"She's not a bartender.
She's a sommelier.
395
00:16:26,642 --> 00:16:28,475
"She didn't go to Community College.
396
00:16:28,476 --> 00:16:30,947
She went to Vassar."
Keep your voice down, Nicole.
397
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,948
That's another thing.
You're even ashamed of my name.
398
00:16:32,949 --> 00:16:35,983
And do you know why?
Because you are a phony.
399
00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:36,983
- I am not.
- Oh, really?
400
00:16:36,984 --> 00:16:41,120
I'm Stuart Gardner,
big-shot dentist on Park Avenue.
401
00:16:41,121 --> 00:16:44,025
Well, let me tell you something, okay?
402
00:16:44,026 --> 00:16:46,793
At the end of the day,
you are still little Stewie
403
00:16:46,794 --> 00:16:48,927
from Staten Island.
404
00:16:50,997 --> 00:16:52,631
- You take that back.
- I will not.
405
00:16:52,632 --> 00:16:54,533
- Take it back.
- Oh, I hit a nerve.
406
00:16:54,534 --> 00:16:55,866
You know, uh...
407
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:59,474
What the hell was I thinking
bringing my sister as my date?
408
00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:04,139
You're dating your sister?
409
00:17:06,809 --> 00:17:10,251
Well, no, not anymore,
because we just broke up.
410
00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:20,467
[knock at door]
411
00:17:25,474 --> 00:17:27,074
I came to apologize.
412
00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:29,307
Hmm. Well, just make
sure you use small words
413
00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:31,077
or I might not understand it.
414
00:17:33,817 --> 00:17:36,853
Okay. I deserve that.
415
00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:39,054
Nicki, I'm not ashamed of you.
416
00:17:39,055 --> 00:17:42,495
I'm ashamed of myself
for the way I treated you.
417
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,865
Keep going.
418
00:17:44,866 --> 00:17:47,800
You're right. You're right, I...
419
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,703
I am a phony.
420
00:17:49,704 --> 00:17:54,174
Oh, no matter what I do or
however successful I become,
421
00:17:54,175 --> 00:17:56,543
I always still see myself
422
00:17:56,544 --> 00:17:59,583
as weird little Stewie
from staten island.
423
00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:02,218
Trying to run away
from him all my life.
424
00:18:02,219 --> 00:18:06,723
Well, maybe it's time
you stopped running.
425
00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:09,060
Maybe it is.
426
00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:11,164
I'm sorry about tonight.
You deserve better.
427
00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:13,964
Ugh, come on. It's what family does.
428
00:18:13,965 --> 00:18:17,934
We show how much we love each other
by making each other miserable.
429
00:18:17,935 --> 00:18:21,102
Well, then there was a lot of
love in that room tonight.
430
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:23,073
Oh, yeah, there was!
431
00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:26,811
You know what?
432
00:18:26,812 --> 00:18:28,946
I'm gonna email Dr. Grayson,
433
00:18:28,947 --> 00:18:31,582
tell him I don't want any
part of that snooty practice.
434
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:34,684
- He kicked ya out, didn't he?
- On my ass.
435
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:44,060
Haskell? Did you tell Phil you
didn't go through with it?
436
00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:46,832
No. I didn't have the balls.
437
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:55,545
And now... Neither does he.
438
00:18:55,546 --> 00:18:57,178
I hope you're happy.
439
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,279
Thanks to you,
that poor man is upstairs
440
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,553
writhing in pain, knowing
he can never conceive.
441
00:19:04,591 --> 00:19:06,993
Hey, baby.
442
00:19:08,996 --> 00:19:12,102
- You lying coward!
- Huh?
443
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,636
I thought we had an agreement.
444
00:19:13,637 --> 00:19:15,269
Oh, no, no, no,
it's not what you think.
445
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,870
I'm just working through...
I'm working through the pain.
446
00:19:16,871 --> 00:19:18,338
Oh, really? I hardly believe
447
00:19:18,339 --> 00:19:21,544
that a man who's had a
vasectomy could do this.
448
00:19:23,047 --> 00:19:25,481
Wait a second.
You didn't get it done either.
449
00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:28,816
Yes. But I had
a really good reason.
450
00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:29,850
Uhhuh? And what's that?
451
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,417
I was scared like a little girl.
452
00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:33,818
What's yours?
453
00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:36,755
Well, I figured maybe
someday I will want kids.
454
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,690
That and the little girl thing.
455
00:19:38,691 --> 00:19:40,692
Yeah. Well, at least
we learned one thing.
456
00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:43,359
Never make a
life-changing decision in a bar.
457
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,727
Right? I should get
that tattooed on my chest.
458
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,228
Yeah.
459
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:51,563
I've always wanted a tattoo.
460
00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:53,797
Me too. I'll do it if you do it.
461
00:19:53,798 --> 00:19:56,465
I'll do it if you do it.
462
00:19:56,466 --> 00:19:58,798
- Let's do it!
- Yeah!
463
00:19:58,799 --> 00:20:00,826
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
464
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:05,426
Repair and Synchronization by
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