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1
00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:04,968
Hey, Haskell, would you...
2
00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:08,170
Would you mind tidying up your workspace?
My sister's gonna be here any minute.
3
00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,829
Oh, is that today?
4
00:00:11,131 --> 00:00:13,083
It completely slipped my mind.
5
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,403
- Morning.
- Morning.
6
00:00:16,404 --> 00:00:17,917
Listen, guys, I really appreciate
7
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,520
you letting Nicki stay
here while she gets a job,
8
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,449
finds her own place.
9
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:24,677
As you know, starting over after
a marriage ends is no picnic.
10
00:00:24,678 --> 00:00:25,646
Yeah, sure, I'm cool with it.
11
00:00:25,647 --> 00:00:28,364
But just know, now that
Eden and I are broken up,
12
00:00:28,365 --> 00:00:30,317
there might be a few
girls coming and going.
13
00:00:30,318 --> 00:00:32,069
Yeah.
14
00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:34,592
Actually, more than a few.
15
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,742
Actually, I might need a
velvet rope and a bouncer.
16
00:00:38,743 --> 00:00:40,877
[Laughter]
17
00:00:40,878 --> 00:00:44,047
Okay, all right, all right, understood.
Understood. [Knock at door]
18
00:00:44,048 --> 00:00:45,438
I got it.
19
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,745
- Hi.
- Hey.
20
00:00:47,746 --> 00:00:49,586
50 bucks for a cab from Staten Island,
21
00:00:49,587 --> 00:00:52,597
and the stinking driver
wouldn't even help me with my bags.
22
00:00:53,546 --> 00:00:55,776
You guys on strike? Help me with my bags.
23
00:00:55,777 --> 00:00:59,808
- Ooh, I got it. I got it, I got it.
- Thank you, Haskell.
24
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,488
I'm Haskell.
25
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:06,712
Nicki, on behalf of Haskell
and Phil and myself,
26
00:01:06,713 --> 00:01:09,076
I would like to officially
welcome you to your new life...
27
00:01:09,077 --> 00:01:10,918
All right, what are you,
dedicating a bridge?
28
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:14,514
Can't you just give me
a kiss and say hello?
29
00:01:14,515 --> 00:01:17,330
- Well, I suppose I could.
- No, no, no, no, no, "hello".
30
00:01:17,331 --> 00:01:19,912
It's one word.
31
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,368
Hello.
32
00:01:21,369 --> 00:01:23,003
Mwah.
33
00:01:23,004 --> 00:01:26,956
I'm just sorry that Holly's not here
to help you navigate your divorce.
34
00:01:26,957 --> 00:01:28,293
Ugh, what's to navigate?
35
00:01:28,294 --> 00:01:31,573
We can divvy up our assets by playing
a game of rock, paper, scissors.
36
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:34,697
Hey, Phil.
37
00:01:34,698 --> 00:01:36,633
- Hey, Nicki.
- Hi, I'm Carol.
38
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,602
Well, Carol's just leaving.
I'll call you, baby.
39
00:01:38,603 --> 00:01:40,554
- Wait, wait.
- Wait, what? What?
40
00:01:40,555 --> 00:01:43,520
I want to thank you guys
for letting me crash here,
41
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:45,322
so tonight I'm taking
you all out for drinks.
42
00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:48,011
- You too, Carol.
- I'd love that.
43
00:01:50,114 --> 00:01:52,849
- Me too.
- Ooh!
44
00:01:52,850 --> 00:01:55,569
So I'll see you tonight, baby.
45
00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:57,600
You guys are adorable.
46
00:01:57,601 --> 00:02:00,791
- How long have you been seeing each other?
- Longer than I thought.
47
00:02:00,792 --> 00:02:03,111
All right, well, better go get my bags.
48
00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:04,887
Oh, I'll do it. I'll do it.
49
00:02:04,888 --> 00:02:06,196
- There you go.
- Haskell, she's staying
50
00:02:06,197 --> 00:02:07,464
in my bedroom, not yours.
51
00:02:07,465 --> 00:02:10,033
Oh, silly me.
52
00:02:11,202 --> 00:02:17,638
synced and corrected by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,476
S03E15
Starting Over
54
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:26,700
Hi. What can I get you, beautiful?
55
00:02:26,701 --> 00:02:30,070
- Well, it's about time. I'll have an...
- He was talking to me.
56
00:02:30,071 --> 00:02:32,002
I'm Eden. Hi.
57
00:02:32,003 --> 00:02:33,831
If I had known there was
a new, cute bartender,
58
00:02:33,832 --> 00:02:35,572
I would have worked on my pouty look.
59
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:40,413
Well, actually I'm a bartender/actor.
60
00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:43,083
How about we improv a scene
where you get me a beer?
61
00:02:43,084 --> 00:02:45,401
Coming right up.
62
00:02:45,402 --> 00:02:47,120
You know, if you're interested,
I'm appearing
63
00:02:47,121 --> 00:02:49,608
in a small production of
twelve angry men.
64
00:02:49,609 --> 00:02:51,096
I'd love it if you both came.
65
00:02:51,097 --> 00:02:51,741
- You've got to be...
- We would love to.
66
00:02:51,742 --> 00:02:52,926
What?!
67
00:02:52,927 --> 00:02:55,745
Great. Drinks are on me.
68
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:58,465
Well, in that case, huzzah!
69
00:02:58,466 --> 00:03:03,186
Hey, I heard Stuart's sister moved in.
What's she like? Eh.
70
00:03:03,187 --> 00:03:04,829
No big deal.
71
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:07,090
You know, I can take her or leave her.
72
00:03:07,091 --> 00:03:09,653
You know, whatever.
73
00:03:09,654 --> 00:03:12,271
Oh, my God. You like her.
74
00:03:12,272 --> 00:03:16,616
It's like heaven sent a brash,
ballsy angel over the verrazano bridge.
75
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:19,605
Wow. Have you told her how you feel?
76
00:03:19,606 --> 00:03:21,600
I've told her luggage.
I've told her hairbrush.
77
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:24,056
I've told the lipstick on her coffee mug.
78
00:03:24,057 --> 00:03:26,776
But her? Not yet.
79
00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:30,519
Hey, Phil, what's up?
80
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,031
Don't you 'sup me.
81
00:03:32,783 --> 00:03:36,271
I had Carol out the door until
your sister butted in
82
00:03:36,272 --> 00:03:38,230
and invited her for drinks tonight.
83
00:03:38,231 --> 00:03:40,473
Well, in her defense, she saw
the two of you together
84
00:03:40,474 --> 00:03:43,894
and just assumed you weren't
a skirt-chasing dog.
85
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:46,897
Well, she was wrong.
86
00:03:46,898 --> 00:03:48,798
[Cell phone rings]
87
00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:52,680
Hang on. Ah, it's my receptionist.
88
00:03:52,681 --> 00:03:54,905
She's with child.
89
00:03:54,906 --> 00:03:58,076
Hi, Susan. What's that?
90
00:03:58,788 --> 00:04:00,927
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
91
00:04:00,928 --> 00:04:03,141
You take all the time you need.
92
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:04,821
Okay.
93
00:04:04,822 --> 00:04:06,587
I am so screwed.
94
00:04:08,576 --> 00:04:09,329
What's up?
95
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,727
Her doctor put her on bed
rest until she delivers.
96
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,676
What am I supposed to do now?
I'm out a receptionist.
97
00:04:13,677 --> 00:04:15,138
- What about your sister?
- No.
98
00:04:15,139 --> 00:04:16,404
- Why not?
- No.
99
00:04:16,405 --> 00:04:18,929
- But she needs a...
- No!
100
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,728
I can't work with my sister.
101
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,506
All right, I was ten years old.
102
00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:25,816
Okay? I had a lemonade stand.
103
00:04:26,537 --> 00:04:29,455
I was having so much
fun until Nicki bullied
104
00:04:29,456 --> 00:04:34,160
her way in there and poisoned my lemonade
with some cheap, sugary mix
105
00:04:34,161 --> 00:04:40,583
and swapped out my barbershop quartet
mixtape for those headbangers Duran Duran.
106
00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:45,888
- And you let her get away with that?
- No. No, I did not.
107
00:04:45,889 --> 00:04:48,307
In a fit of rage, I ripped off my apron,
108
00:04:48,308 --> 00:04:52,562
I marched right up to her, and
I had my first asthma attack.
109
00:04:54,765 --> 00:04:56,966
Oh. Hey, Nicki.
110
00:04:56,967 --> 00:05:00,019
Whatever you do, do not ask me...
111
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,020
How's the job search?
112
00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:03,439
About that.
113
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,497
I handed out my resume
to every restaurant in the city
114
00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:09,695
and got told to buzz off
in 20 different languages.
115
00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:12,164
At least at the Italian
place they pinched my ass
116
00:05:12,165 --> 00:05:13,364
and gave me a gelato.
117
00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:17,003
- Hey, Phil.
- Oh, hey, Carol.
118
00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:19,771
Hey, who's this cute little guy?
119
00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:22,384
Oh, this is my son Austin.
120
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,435
Phil, look, I am so sorry. Mm.
121
00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:33,769
I know we were supposed
to have drinks tonight,
122
00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,187
but my ex flaked on me,
123
00:05:35,188 --> 00:05:37,924
and I have to take him
to a party at fun-ville.
124
00:05:37,925 --> 00:05:40,226
Oh, that's a shame.
125
00:05:40,227 --> 00:05:43,314
Have fun, little dude.
126
00:05:43,315 --> 00:05:45,231
I'll call you, baby.
127
00:05:45,232 --> 00:05:47,400
Phil, don't be ridiculous.
128
00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:48,734
We can have drinks any time.
129
00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:50,536
You guys go.
130
00:05:50,537 --> 00:05:53,155
Uncle Phil's gonna take you to fun-ville.
131
00:05:53,156 --> 00:05:56,692
Fun-ville? Fun-ville?
We're going to fun-ville!
132
00:05:56,693 --> 00:05:58,411
You're choking me!
133
00:05:58,412 --> 00:06:02,306
Okay. You can thank me later.
134
00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:05,868
At least I did one good thing today.
135
00:06:05,869 --> 00:06:11,223
I am dreading going back out there tomorrow
and have more doors slammed in my face.
136
00:06:11,224 --> 00:06:14,727
I can't believe there's not
one job in this entire city.
137
00:06:14,728 --> 00:06:17,013
Yes, it's pretty rough out there.
138
00:06:17,014 --> 00:06:19,649
I mean, I haven't
looked for work in 20 years.
139
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,233
I forgot how hard it is.
140
00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:24,520
The worst part about it is
just the rejection, you know.
141
00:06:24,521 --> 00:06:29,275
It makes me feel so small and worthless.
142
00:06:29,276 --> 00:06:31,994
[Mumbling] I might have a job for you.
143
00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,081
What's that?
144
00:06:35,082 --> 00:06:36,532
I might... I might have a job.
145
00:06:36,533 --> 00:06:39,669
- Speak up.
- I have a job for you.
146
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:42,371
My receptionist is on bed rest.
You can take her place.
147
00:06:42,372 --> 00:06:45,621
Oh, my God. You saved my life.
148
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:48,044
Thank you so much.
149
00:06:48,045 --> 00:06:49,240
When were you gonna tell me?
150
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,176
Paging Dr. Stuart Gardner.
151
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:00,917
Is there a dentist in the house?
152
00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:05,922
Hi, Nicki.
Hi. Come on in.
153
00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:08,993
Look at you with the fancy schmancy office.
154
00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:12,129
I do my best to create a relaxing ambience.
155
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,959
So I'm guessing the screaming
and spitting goes on back there?
156
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,586
Actually, with the
innovations in modern dentistry,
157
00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:21,680
it's become a relatively
pain-free experience.
158
00:07:21,681 --> 00:07:22,296
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
159
00:07:22,297 --> 00:07:24,701
My guy in Staten Island
recommends showing up drunk.
160
00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:29,279
Anyhoo, why don't we get you a smock?
161
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,690
Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
162
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:33,654
Well, for one thing, my
name isn't Dr. Hooters.
163
00:07:33,655 --> 00:07:35,334
[Grunts]
164
00:07:36,264 --> 00:07:38,845
Oh, no! That is so not happening.
165
00:07:38,846 --> 00:07:40,728
Why not? It's what my
receptionist always wears.
166
00:07:40,729 --> 00:07:43,270
Then I don't know how the
hell she got knocked up.
167
00:07:44,105 --> 00:07:45,143
Oh, don't make the face.
168
00:07:45,144 --> 00:07:47,512
Oh, my God, you're such a baby.
Okay, I'll wear it, I'll wear it.
169
00:07:47,513 --> 00:07:48,897
- Thank you.
- [Sighs]
170
00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:51,883
Now perhaps we should go
over your responsibilities.
171
00:07:51,884 --> 00:07:55,643
Stuart, I managed a
200-seat Olive Garden, okay?
172
00:07:58,074 --> 00:08:00,358
I think I can manage a
one-chair dental office.
173
00:08:00,359 --> 00:08:02,778
Please do not worry.
I'm gonna do a good job.
174
00:08:02,779 --> 00:08:04,926
I know you will.
175
00:08:05,865 --> 00:08:08,083
Glad to see you kicked that OCD.
176
00:08:12,571 --> 00:08:15,073
Is the actor/bartender here?
177
00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:17,008
- No.
- Thank God.
178
00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:20,846
Haskell, I'm so sorry I dragged you
to that awful play last night.
179
00:08:20,847 --> 00:08:23,215
Well, he failed to
mention it was reconceived
180
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,350
as twelve angry naked men.
181
00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:30,689
He was so bad. He ruined
theater and penises for me.
182
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:34,476
- Hey, Carol.
- Hey, baby.
183
00:08:34,477 --> 00:08:35,477
Both: Mwah.
184
00:08:35,478 --> 00:08:37,362
- That was fun last night.
- Yeah.
185
00:08:37,363 --> 00:08:40,198
Although I had to keep
Austin home from school today.
186
00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:43,485
I think he picked up some
kind of rash from that ball pit.
187
00:08:45,988 --> 00:08:50,844
Really? Anyway, look,
Carol, here's the deal.
188
00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:52,610
I like you.
189
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,665
- And we have fun together.
- [cell phone rings]
190
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:58,049
- But there comes a time in a man's...
- Excuse me. One second.
191
00:08:58,050 --> 00:09:01,553
Hello. What?
192
00:09:01,554 --> 00:09:05,173
- Oh, my God. The hospital?
- Oh, no. Is it Austin?
193
00:09:05,174 --> 00:09:07,142
How bad's that rash?
194
00:09:07,143 --> 00:09:12,514
I'm on my way. It's my Nana.
They had to rush her to the hospital.
195
00:09:12,515 --> 00:09:15,851
It doesn't look good.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
196
00:09:15,852 --> 00:09:18,486
I hope she pulls through.
I'll call you, baby.
197
00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:20,989
Phil, can you come with me?
198
00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:23,808
What?
199
00:09:23,809 --> 00:09:26,244
I just don't think that
I can face this alone.
200
00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:28,530
I mean, the thought of losing Nana...
201
00:09:28,531 --> 00:09:30,582
It's just too much.
202
00:09:32,535 --> 00:09:34,669
All right. Let's go see Nana.
203
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,122
Oh, thanks, and to think
204
00:09:37,123 --> 00:09:42,660
I might never have seen you again
if it wasn't for Stuart's sister.
205
00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:45,882
- What's her name?
- Nicki.
206
00:09:53,189 --> 00:09:55,607
Um...
207
00:09:55,608 --> 00:09:57,726
What are all these people doing here?
208
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:00,061
Um, waiting to see a dentist.
209
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:03,315
I only had four appointments
booked this afternoon.
210
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:04,733
And now you have 11.
211
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:08,703
12 if I don't get this poppy seed out.
212
00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:09,898
These aren't even my patients.
213
00:10:09,899 --> 00:10:13,784
They are now that you're offering
50% off on groupon.
214
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:16,194
You put me on groupon?
215
00:10:16,195 --> 00:10:18,580
You're welcome.
216
00:10:18,581 --> 00:10:21,583
Why don't you just
stick my face on a bus bench?
217
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:23,301
Already in the works.
218
00:10:24,252 --> 00:10:26,471
Nicki, I am not a discount dentist.
219
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:31,226
Yeah, no kidding. I see
what you charge for a crown.
220
00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,378
Oh, good, the t-shirts I had made.
221
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:35,213
Thank you. Could you can hold
that, miss. Thank you.
222
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:36,598
What?
223
00:10:36,599 --> 00:10:38,883
This you're gonna love.
224
00:10:38,884 --> 00:10:40,902
Huh?
225
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,607
"I got drilled by Dr. Stuart Gardner"?
226
00:10:45,608 --> 00:10:47,275
Isn't this cute?
227
00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:51,112
Nicki, I don't even know where to begin.
228
00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:53,398
It's tacky, it's vulgar, it's classless.
229
00:10:53,399 --> 00:10:55,250
Who doesn't love a free t-shirt?
230
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:57,252
We used to give 'em away all
the time at the Olive Garden.
231
00:10:57,253 --> 00:10:59,287
This is not the Olive Garden.
232
00:10:59,288 --> 00:11:02,090
[Gasping]
233
00:11:02,091 --> 00:11:04,509
It's a well-respected, top-rated
medical practice.
234
00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,261
Where are you going?
235
00:11:06,262 --> 00:11:08,596
To the pharmacy. [Gasping]
236
00:11:08,597 --> 00:11:09,931
To get an inhaler.
237
00:11:09,932 --> 00:11:12,100
I didn't know you still had asthma attacks.
238
00:11:12,101 --> 00:11:14,686
Well, I haven't since you destroyed
our lemonade stand.
239
00:11:14,687 --> 00:11:16,754
[Gasping]
240
00:11:16,755 --> 00:11:20,725
We had a lemonade stand?
241
00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:29,997
Whoa.
242
00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:32,598
I got here as soon as I could.
243
00:11:32,599 --> 00:11:33,683
How's Nana?
244
00:11:33,684 --> 00:11:35,134
She's resting.
245
00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:36,585
We're waiting to talk to the doctor.
246
00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:38,420
Okay.
247
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,139
- Oh, Phil.
- Yeah?
248
00:11:40,140 --> 00:11:41,357
This is my brother James,
249
00:11:41,358 --> 00:11:44,026
his wife Cheryl, their
kids Lisa and James Jr.,
250
00:11:44,027 --> 00:11:45,528
my Uncle Wendell, his wife Lucille,
251
00:11:45,529 --> 00:11:48,264
and my cousins Rachel, Ronnie, and Lonnie.
252
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:50,933
[Laughs]
253
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:52,768
Thanks for coming, bro.
254
00:11:52,769 --> 00:11:56,372
No problem.
255
00:11:56,373 --> 00:11:57,490
You be strong.
256
00:11:57,491 --> 00:11:59,832
- Yeah.
- Oh, good. That's the doctor.
257
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,305
- Who's there?
- Oh! Hey.
258
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:14,673
[Chuckles]
259
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:16,842
Sorry. I'm Phil. I'm a friend of Carol's.
260
00:12:16,843 --> 00:12:20,796
So you're the young man dating my baby.
261
00:12:20,797 --> 00:12:22,064
Come closer.
262
00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:25,518
Closer?
263
00:12:27,571 --> 00:12:31,640
Listen to me, young man,
I may not have much time left.
264
00:12:31,641 --> 00:12:33,308
Please don't say that.
You're gonna be fine.
265
00:12:33,309 --> 00:12:39,648
You're sweet, but I know what's what,
and I could make peace with it if I...
266
00:12:39,649 --> 00:12:41,700
If what? What?
267
00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:46,989
If I knew my little girl
was with a good man.
268
00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:49,792
You're a good man, aren't you, Phil?
269
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:58,350
Then promise me you'll
take care of my little girl.
270
00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:00,002
Promise me, Phil. Oh!
271
00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:01,520
- Promise me.
- Okay, I promise.
272
00:13:01,521 --> 00:13:02,855
I promise, Nana.
273
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:05,775
And you'll be a good
daddy to that little boy?
274
00:13:05,776 --> 00:13:08,561
I'm gonna raise that
boy like he was my own.
275
00:13:08,562 --> 00:13:11,113
Thank you.
276
00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:13,732
I won't let you down, Nana.
277
00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:21,624
- Hey.
- Hey.
278
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,910
[Clears throat]
Pretty rough first day, huh?
279
00:13:24,911 --> 00:13:26,090
Uh, I'd say.
280
00:13:27,881 --> 00:13:32,051
Nicki, look, if we're gonna work together,
some things have got to change.
281
00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,587
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more.
282
00:13:34,588 --> 00:13:36,422
Good, good.
283
00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:38,522
You have got to lighten up, Stu.
284
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:42,008
Wait, wait, me? I'm the problem?
285
00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:45,269
Yes, if you weren't so stuck in your ways,
maybe you'd have a bigger practice.
286
00:13:45,270 --> 00:13:48,400
My practice is fine just the way it is.
287
00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:52,488
You are so stubborn!
God forbid anybody try to help you!
288
00:13:52,489 --> 00:13:55,557
Oh, hello, who asked you to help?
No one. But you stick your nose in anyway,
289
00:13:55,558 --> 00:13:56,909
'cause that's just what you always do.
290
00:13:56,910 --> 00:13:58,077
- Oh, is that what I always do?
- Yes.
291
00:13:58,078 --> 00:13:59,578
Really? Guess what. You know what?
292
00:13:59,579 --> 00:14:01,563
-I quit.
- No, you, no, you can't quit.
293
00:14:01,564 --> 00:14:02,748
I can't quit? Why not?
294
00:14:02,749 --> 00:14:05,232
Because you're fired, you're fired,
you are so freakin' fired.
295
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,785
- You can't fire me. I quit.
- I just fired you.
296
00:14:06,786 --> 00:14:08,454
Oh, my God, I don't
know what I was thinking.
297
00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:11,757
Moving to the city, living with you?
I'm out of here. I'm going home.
298
00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:13,742
- Good. Good. Go.
- I am going.
299
00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:16,712
And by the way, I do remember
that lemonade stand.
300
00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:20,933
What ten-year-old wants to hear you croon,
"Hello, my coney island baby"
301
00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:27,523
- Kids were lining up around the block.
- To beat the crap out of you.
302
00:14:36,371 --> 00:14:38,266
- Hey, Carol.
- Hey, Phil.
303
00:14:38,713 --> 00:14:40,797
I talked to my Nana, and
she told me what you said.
304
00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:42,949
I want you to know that
I'm a man of my word.
305
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:46,386
Are you out of your mind?
306
00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:49,956
We went out a few times, and you're
promising my Nana that you'll marry me?
307
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,508
She took my hand.
308
00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:54,477
I mean, she was headed toward the light.
309
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,896
Phil, look, I was just
trying to have some fun.
310
00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:00,133
But you're way too clingy.
311
00:15:00,134 --> 00:15:04,320
Just make sure you tell your Nana
I was ready to marry you, girl!
312
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,439
Hey, baby.
313
00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:10,143
Hey, Haskell.
314
00:15:10,144 --> 00:15:11,745
- Hey.
- What's up?
315
00:15:11,746 --> 00:15:14,948
Aw, Stuart fired Nicki,
and now, without a job
316
00:15:14,949 --> 00:15:17,083
or a place to live, she's gonna
move back to staten island
317
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,818
and be out of my life forever.
318
00:15:18,819 --> 00:15:20,003
I'm sorry.
319
00:15:20,004 --> 00:15:21,871
Hey, she missed out on a great guy.
320
00:15:21,872 --> 00:15:24,040
Eh.
321
00:15:24,041 --> 00:15:30,764
Oh, great, here comes our actor/bartender,
Leonardo Di-crap-io.
322
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,265
Hey, guys, you're not gonna believe it.
323
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:35,635
A friend of mine just moved out to L.A.,
and he already landed a series.
324
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:38,354
And he has half the talent that I do.
325
00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:43,242
Is that possible?
326
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,396
I know. Right? [Sighs]
327
00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:51,734
I'm so tempted to quit my job,
sublet my apartment, and head out there.
328
00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:53,853
Be right there.
329
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:55,905
Be right there.
Be right there.
330
00:15:55,906 --> 00:15:57,957
That's it.
331
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:02,028
Can you believe that stiff?
332
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,297
That stiff may be the answer to my prayers.
333
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:07,217
I saw on Nicki's resume
that she was a bartender.
334
00:16:07,218 --> 00:16:10,970
If he leaves and she takes his job,
she could stay in my life.
335
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,641
All we have to do is fill his
head with dreams of stardom.
336
00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:16,559
Well, that might take a while.
337
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,062
There's a lot of empty space to fill.
338
00:16:19,063 --> 00:16:23,549
Uh, so, Steve, about L.A...
339
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,603
Oh, I don't know. It's a pipe dream.
I don't even know if I have what it takes.
340
00:16:26,604 --> 00:16:29,322
You selfish bastard.
341
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,107
Huh?
342
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:37,247
How dare you hide behind that bar when you
have a gift, a gift that should be shared
343
00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:40,500
with the world, right, Eden?
344
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:45,672
When we saw you onstage last night,
we were dumbfounded.
345
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,126
I was pretty good, wasn't I?
346
00:16:50,127 --> 00:16:52,846
Good! Good!
347
00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:59,185
Was Brando merely good in Streetcar?
Was Olivier good in Hamlet?
348
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,319
Oh, I don't know. Who are those guys?
349
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,861
Hacks. Hacks compared to you.
350
00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:11,764
Now take off that apron,
tear up my bar tab,
351
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:14,284
and go Chase your dreams.
352
00:17:14,285 --> 00:17:17,537
I'm gonna do it.
353
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,873
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
354
00:17:19,874 --> 00:17:21,958
That's it.
355
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:24,577
Hey, here comes Nicki.
356
00:17:24,578 --> 00:17:26,546
Okay, Haskell, now's your chance.
357
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,448
Tell her that you found her
a job, and you'll be her hero.
358
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,050
- Oh, all right.
- Hey, guys.
359
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,669
- Hey.
- Just wanted to come down
360
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,137
- for a good-bye drink.
- Yeah.
361
00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:35,788
- Haskell.
- Yeah, yeah.
362
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,790
Uh, uh, Nicki,
363
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,176
as you know...
364
00:17:40,177 --> 00:17:42,679
I'm Haskell.
365
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:46,182
- Uhuh.
- And... and... and sometimes
366
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:48,735
in life things just work out.
367
00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:51,571
I did it. I quit.
368
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,573
Now all I have to do is
find a replacement bartender.
369
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,975
Bartender? I bartended for years.
370
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:57,977
- Really?
- Yes.
371
00:17:57,978 --> 00:17:58,995
Come on. Throw one at me.
372
00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:00,413
Kamikaze.
373
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,081
Vodka, triple sec, lime juice. Come on.
374
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,917
I was making those in the girl scouts.
375
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:05,651
Um, zombie.
376
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,870
Zombie... pineapple juice, orange juice,
377
00:18:07,871 --> 00:18:10,039
apricot Brandy, sugar, light rum, dark rum,
378
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,374
lime juice.
379
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:13,326
- Really?
- Mmhmm.
380
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:16,095
Wow, I've been doing it all wrong.
381
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:19,832
You're in.
382
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:22,352
Oh, my... Really?
383
00:18:22,353 --> 00:18:23,836
I'll go call the boss right now.
384
00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:27,890
You're my hero. Mwah.
385
00:18:27,891 --> 00:18:30,676
Oh, by any chance, you wouldn't
happen to need an apartment?
386
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:35,648
Oh, my God, I love you!
387
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,401
Haskell, is this great? I got a job.
388
00:18:38,402 --> 00:18:41,120
- Yeah.
- [Exclaims]
389
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,962
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey.
390
00:18:48,963 --> 00:18:52,112
You know, thanks to your sister,
I almost married a one-night stand.
391
00:18:53,751 --> 00:18:57,046
Well, look, you'll be relieved
to know that Nicki's leaving.
392
00:18:57,388 --> 00:19:00,583
I love my sister, but Manhattan
isn't big enough for the two of us.
393
00:19:00,584 --> 00:19:03,343
- Hey, Stuart.
- Nicki, hey, I just want to say
394
00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:08,381
that no one is more disappointed
than I am that you're leaving.
395
00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:12,318
Cheer up, sad sack.
I'm not going anywhere.
396
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,319
- What?
- That's right.
397
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,223
I got a job right here.
You are looking at your new bartender.
398
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,574
- No.
- Yes!
399
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:20,763
No!
400
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,565
Isn't this great?
401
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,475
We're gonna be around
each other all the time.
402
00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:34,869
All right, all right, before
you start hyperventilating,
403
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:40,680
I thought about what you said,
and you're not completely wrong.
404
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:44,017
Sometimes I can be bossy and controlling.
405
00:19:44,018 --> 00:19:46,585
And I want you to know that
I'm gonna work on it, okay?
406
00:19:47,724 --> 00:19:50,291
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
407
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:51,886
All right, so drinks are on me.
What can I get you?
408
00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:56,019
I will have an extra
Frothy Peach Margarita.
409
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:57,704
You're getting a beer.
410
00:19:57,705 --> 00:20:01,080
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00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:05,680
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