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1
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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,078
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,435
# The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,109
# As time goes by #
6
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4.50, love.
7
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Sorry about the hold-up.
8
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,632
Students seem to demonstrate
more than study.
9
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,671
- At least they care.
- Oh, yes.
10
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,156
They care for the whole world,
every bit of it, except their own bit.
11
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,591
What about their own people? There are
old people like you and me sleeping rough.
12
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,870
They don't care about them, do they?
13
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,876
Keep the change.
14
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,948
- Morning, Sandy.
- Morning.
15
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,112
Sandy, do me a favour.
16
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,390
Get over to that hotel, find Mr Hardcastle
17
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,079
and give him a hand
with his revisions on his book.
18
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,470
- Why me? I'm your secretary.
- Oh, to do me a favour.
19
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,069
We sent him a dud one last time.
You are the best.
20
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,998
You don't expect me
to fall for a line like that?
21
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,073
- Yes.
- All right, so I'm gullible. What's he like?
22
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,993
- Challenging.
- Oh, thanks.
23
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:44,477
- Any messages?
- Oh, yes. Age Concern rang.
24
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,511
Are you being funny?
25
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,597
No. They asked if we'd have
a collection box in the office.
26
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,039
Yes, why not?
27
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,949
- Right. Well, I'll get off to the trenches.
- Thanks for helping out, Sandy.
28
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,673
Well, I'm concerned, aren't I?
29
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,354
(Judith) Morning, Sandy.
(Sandy) Morning.
30
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,592
- Well?
- I've sent Sandy.
31
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,598
No, well, how did you get on yesterday?
32
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:14,760
Oh. Well, he bought me a cider because
I used to drink cider when we used to, um...
33
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,279
see each other long ago.
34
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,029
- Ah, that's sweet.
- Can't stand it now.
35
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,594
- You didn't tell him that?
- Yes, more or less.
36
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,189
Mum, you don't rekindle
a great romance like that.
37
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:30,472
If ever we lit a fire, the ashes have
disappeared by now, probably overgrown.
38
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,317
- I wonder?
- I don't.
39
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,909
- But you are going to see him again?
- Well, he said he'd phone.
40
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,794
- When?
- When the cider was making me feel ill.
41
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,400
- Oh, I don't know, whenever.
- What will you say?
42
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,112
- "Hello."
- Oh, Mum!
43
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,152
Judy, Lionel knows he's not going to phone.
44
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,794
I know he won't phone,
he knows I know he won't phone.
45
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,990
(Phone ringing)
46
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,748
Hello? Jean Pargetter.
47
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,634
Oh. Oh, yes, excellent. I'd love to.
48
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,957
Yes, what? Tomorrow, 2:30?
49
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,355
That'll be fine. All right, bye.
50
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,279
Lionel knows he won't phone,
I know he won't phone,
51
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,675
he knows I know he won't phone.
52
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,029
- It wasn't Lionel.
- Oh.
53
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:19,039
The estate agents, they have a place in
Richmond for me to see. Another branch maybe.
54
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,790
- You could phone him.
- Oh, look, will you leave it?
55
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,512
You're both lonely.
56
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,551
- I'm not!
- You're not unlonely.
57
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,397
Well, you're unproductive.
58
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:33,194
All right. But I bet right now,
he's sitting in that hotel thinking of you
59
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,073
and I'll bet he's sitting by a telephone.
60
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,190
- May I help, sir?
- Yes, would you make out my bill?
61
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,151
Leaving us, sir?
62
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,873
- I'll make out your bill.
- Can I phone out on this?
63
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,150
Dial 9 for an outside line, sir.
64
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,637
Should I get the number for you, sir?
65
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,275
I'm quite capable of dialling
a telephone number. I've changed my mind.
66
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,153
Very good, sir. Your bill.
67
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,673
- What does "misc. Conf." mean?
- Miscellaneous confectionary, sir.
68
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,439
I haven't eaten any confectionary.
69
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,711
Hmm. Perhaps something from the minibar
in your room?
70
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,753
- I might have had some peanuts.
- That would be it.
71
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,314
Peanuts? Peanuts aren't confectionary.
72
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,231
Well, not strictly speaking, no.
73
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,589
Not even loosely speaking.
74
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,278
No, put it this way, sir.
75
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,552
We find itemisation less complicated
under broad headings.
76
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,752
I see. Well, if I'm ever unfortunate enough
to eat here again
77
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,351
I won't order mixed vegetables in case I get
a couple of Mars Bars thrown in.
78
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,631
Thank you, sir. Your receipt.
79
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:55,199
I do hope we'll have the pleasure
of welcoming you again... sometime.
80
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,035
Lionel!
81
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,513
- Hello, mate.
- Hello, Alistair.
82
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,348
- You're not leaving us?
- No, I'm just taking my suitcase out for a walk.
83
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,838
Nice one. Listen though,
I need to talk to you ASAP.
84
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,158
- Oh. All right, let's have a COC.
- Sorry?
85
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,713
A cup of coffee.
86
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,551
Nice one.
87
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:33,354
- May I help you, madam?
- Yes, I'm looking for Mr Hardcastle.
88
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,595
I'm from Type For You agency.
89
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,712
Mr Hardcastle? I'm sorry, madam,
but he's just checked out.
90
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,637
Are you sure?
91
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,389
I wouldn't mistake Mr Hardcastle
for anybody else, madam.
92
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:48,115
He knew I was coming.
That's downright rude.
93
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,835
Your word, madam, my sentiment.
94
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,635
I know I promised the revisions for today
but there have been... complications.
95
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:02,959
None of us gets a smooth ride, mate. I've got
the Aston Martin off the road for a week.
96
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,151
- How awful for you.
- Thanks.
97
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,670
The thing is,
I need these revisions like yesterday,
98
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,473
because I want to have your book
in our autumn launch.
99
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,114
Good day, sir. I thought we'd lost you.
100
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,479
Wishful thinking.
Two coffees, please.
101
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,080
Certainly, sir. How will you be paying? Cash or...
102
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,795
- I've already settled my bill.
- No, you've just ordered.
103
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,034
I mean cash!
104
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,911
Thank you, sir.
105
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,555
- Oh, God, I'm going to have to move back in.
- Was it that awful?
106
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,636
- Worse.
- Why not work from home?
107
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,194
Because I need secretarial assistance.
108
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,313
Secretarial agencies don't send
secretaries to single men's flat.
109
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,318
Yes, right. But surely a man of your age...
110
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,879
I'll stay here a few more days
and do the revisions.
111
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,309
Brrrilliant! Now, the up side.
112
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,193
- The what?
- On a lighter note.
113
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,549
Party tonight at my place. Come when you like.
114
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,434
Thanks all the same,
only parties and I aren't really compatible.
115
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,277
You don't think you're too old?
116
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,436
No. I don't like parties.
117
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:08,474
Think of it as fallow ground, mate.
There will be faces there.
118
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,557
Attached to bodies, presumably.
119
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:16,037
People you should meet.
We publish, they push.
120
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,358
The right contacts can make the public want
to buy a book before it's printed.
121
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,992
Hype is what we're talking.
122
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,759
- Are we?
- Do come, mate.
123
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,031
- All right, only do me a favour.
- What?
124
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,548
- Stop calling me mate.
- Sure, no problem.
125
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,033
Two coffees.
126
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,317
Ah-ah. Let me get these... Li.
127
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,478
- Sandy's back.
- What?
128
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,954
- Sandy's back.
- Oh, yes, I know.
129
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,434
Wasn't she was working for Lionel.
130
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,995
Rather difficult when he isn't there,
he's checked out of the hotel.
131
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,439
What did he say?
132
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,391
"I'm checking out," presumably.
133
00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,877
- No, I mean to you. Surely he phoned?
- No.
134
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:06,038
- You mean he's just disappeared.
- In a puff of smoke for all I know.
135
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,638
Oh, Mum, I am sorry.
136
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,318
Look, don't be.
137
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:15,469
When he and I knew each other,
we could vault five-bar gates.
138
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,751
Now I've seen him again,
we realise we'd need a step ladder.
139
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,713
- Did you really vault five-bar gates?
- Not as a way of life. It's a metaphor.
140
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:28,550
- But you did love each other.
- Judy, you loved both your ex-husbands.
141
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,353
What would happen
if you met them 38 years later?
142
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,233
Not much. They'd be in their 70s.
143
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,198
I told you he wouldn't phone.
144
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,993
You didn't say he'd just cop out and disappear.
145
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,110
But there's no real difference.
146
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:46,358
Not phoning is socially acceptable,
disappearing is the action of a cowardly rat,
147
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,118
but there's no real difference.
148
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,754
See you tonight then.
149
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,588
Whoa! Bring somebody if you like.
Cheers, Li.
150
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,029
Cheers, Al.
151
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,309
I'd like to move back in.
152
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,432
- But you just booked out, sir.
- I'm fickle.
153
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,119
As you say, sir.
154
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,912
Would you like the same room, sir?
155
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,157
Doesn't really matter, does it?
They're all identical.
156
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,713
The paintings are different.
157
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,993
I'm humbled.
158
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,873
How long will you be staying with us
this time, sir?
159
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,196
You'd like me to say forever, wouldn't you?
160
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,549
A few days at the most, I hope.
Incidentally, I'm expecting a girl.
161
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,879
Really, sir?
162
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:39,152
- From a secretarial agency.
- But she came about an hour ago.
163
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,069
- Damn! What did you tell her?
- I told her that you'd checked out, sir.
164
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,954
- Why?
- Because at the time, you had, sir.
165
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,513
Damn!
166
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,109
Does this mean
you'll be checking out again, sir?
167
00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,918
- It's the Scarlet Pimpernel to see you.
- Look, I must go. Bye.
168
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,400
Do you train your staff to be rude?
169
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,637
She's the girl who just wasted her time
going to the hotel.
170
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:09,795
Ah.
171
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,593
- What do you want see me for?
- I came to see your mother.
172
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:16,997
- To apologise?
- Certainly not, to explain.
173
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,032
- Well, she's out.
- I gathered that, might I know where?
174
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,996
Look, are you playing games, or what?
175
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,352
Yes, I'm playing a game where I ask
questions and don't get any answers.
176
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,709
She's gone for a walk in the park,
if you must know.
177
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,276
- Why?
- Well, not to throw herself in the serpentine.
178
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,676
I hadn't really thought of that.
It's an odd time for a walk.
179
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:41,350
Don't you call my mother odd.
You're the only odd thing in this setup.
180
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,708
I wondered if I could have
a secretary tomorrow?
181
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,115
- No.
- Thank you.
182
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,154
- Why do we do it?
- Ha! I don't.
183
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,953
Lucky you. Are you married?
184
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,958
- No. I was.
- That explains it.
185
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,551
- You're torturing yourself for your husband?
- He's started calling me chunky.
186
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,558
- Oh. Sweet.
- He only says it in fun.
187
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,352
I suppose he's as thin as a rake.
188
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,951
No, he's quite tubby, really.
But men can carry it off, can't they?
189
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,788
That's a saying that's passed into folklore
without a shred of evidence,
190
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,592
as far as I'm concerned.
191
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,708
Talking of men, there's one watching us.
192
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:41,992
- Well, well.
- Do you think he's one of the peculiar ones?
193
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,598
I can guarantee it.
194
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,200
- Want to jog along with me?
- Wrong heels.
195
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,038
- He's coming over.
- You go off, I'll be all right.
196
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:54,198
- Sure you can manage?
- Oh, yes. I can deal with the peculiar ones.
197
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,756
Big park, this.
198
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,109
I'd have used a flare
if I'd known you were coming.
199
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,277
I thought I'd explain the mixup
about my booking out.
200
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,914
Well... do.
201
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:18,237
Well, the first thing to say is that
I never did book out.
202
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,113
That assumes you have a doppelgänger
with the same name.
203
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,630
It doesn't assume anything of the sort.
Your girl got it wrong.
204
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,910
- Oh, I see.
- You know what they're like.
205
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,669
- Who?
- Girls. Heads in the clouds half the time.
206
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,713
Probably dreaming of some pop star,
Kylie Minogue or whatever his name is.
207
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,638
Jason Donovan. Kylie Minogue's a girl.
208
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,193
Cliff Richard then.
209
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,592
There are three things you ought to know
about Sandy.
210
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,599
She has her feet on the ground, is very bright,
and has excellent hearing.
211
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,872
The result is that when the desk clerk tells
her Mr Hardcastle has checked out,
212
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,196
she realises in a flash that he has.
213
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,678
- Perhaps there was another Mr Hardcastle.
- He described you as unmistakable.
214
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,393
- All right I did book out.
- I knew you did.
215
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,874
- I was going to tell you.
- No, you weren't.
216
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,514
No, I wasn't.
217
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,952
- It's your daughter.
- What's she got to do with it?
218
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,675
Well, it's all this Alice in Wonderland stuff.
219
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,349
The vision that, suddenly,
after 38 years without seeing each other,
220
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,630
we should somehow pick up where we left off.
221
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,558
- She's a romantic.
- Absurd. She's been married twice.
222
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,158
You have to be a romantic to marry twice.
223
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,758
All I said was I'd phone.
224
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,633
As opposed to sneaking out of the hotel
and disappearing?
225
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:37,070
- Did you intend to phone me?
- Yes... probably.
226
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,190
- Not.
- Not. No. You?
227
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,798
- Not.
- No, thank you.
228
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,592
Thank you.
229
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,749
- I booked back into the hotel. For a few days.
- You have a home?
230
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:55,032
Of course I do, I have a flat.
But I've got to finish the revisions on the book.
231
00:13:55,080 --> 00:14:00,234
- Can you only write in a hotel?
- You won't send secretaries to men's flats.
232
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,714
Knowing me as you do,
you might make an exception.
233
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,878
What do you mean knowing you as I do?
We don't know each other any more.
234
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,480
Do I look the sort of man
who'd jump on a secretary?
235
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,675
I don't know what that sort of man looks like.
236
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,756
Well, not like me.
237
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,798
Thing is, I do need a secretary because...
Am I boring you?
238
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,512
Look.
239
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,350
(Jean) That's us 38 years ago.
(Lionel) This is where we first met.
240
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,356
(Jean) I know.
241
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,391
Do you think we're in a sort of time warp?
242
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,635
Perhaps we're hallucinating.
243
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,310
"Excuse me," you said
"could you direct me to Curzon Street."
244
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,555
Pretty steamy opening gambit, wasn't it?
245
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,909
- Why did you want to go there?
- I didn't.
246
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,076
It was the first street I thought of.
247
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,113
When I told my parents a soldier picked me up
they had a thousand fits.
248
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,833
- On the road to hell?
- Something like that.
249
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,199
We didn't do that on our first date.
250
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,117
We didn't do anything.
251
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,071
You swung from a tree.
252
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,549
Good God, so I did. Were you impressed?
253
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,113
I tried not to laugh.
254
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,559
Thanks.
255
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,111
It may not be their first date.
256
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,116
I hope it is.
257
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,559
Why?
258
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,477
I just do.
259
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,599
Well, now that we've established we're not
going to see each other any more,
260
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,517
I'd better get back.
261
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,438
I'd better get started on those revisions.
262
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,749
May I have a secretary at the hotel tomorrow?
263
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,678
- You will be there?
- I'll be there.
264
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,631
Very well.
265
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,478
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
266
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,795
Will you stop running?
267
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,353
I thought you were a mugger.
268
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,392
Right now I couldn't mug a very little old lady.
269
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,238
- You've gone a funny colour.
- That's what I mean.
270
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,952
Why didn't you call out?
271
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,312
I can run or I can call out
but not both at the same time.
272
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,035
- Do you want to sit down?
- I think I'd better.
273
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,955
I haven't run for ages.
274
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,118
I can see that.
Why were you running after me anyway?
275
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,312
Ah. Well, I wondered if you'd like
to come for a party this evening?
276
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,032
We've just said goodbye.
277
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,479
Yes, I know.
278
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,195
- Now you're asking me to come to a party?
- Nothing odd about that.
279
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,870
- It's not generally the way round of things.
- No, I suppose not.
280
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,229
- Would you like to come?
- Why?
281
00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:00,159
Well, something to do,
it would get you out.
282
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,033
What do you mean it'd get me out?
283
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,868
I don't spend the evenings knitting
wrapped in a shawl.
284
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,514
- Get me out then.
- Well, you're going anyway.
285
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,592
Why all the fuss? It's perfectly simple.
I'm asking you to a party.
286
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,358
Just say yes or no.
287
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,630
Oh, all right. No!
288
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:25,873
- It would do you good.
- I don't understand this sudden concern.
289
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,512
Why do you want me to come?
290
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,710
Because I don't want to go on my own.
291
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,075
My boy publisher is giving the thing.
292
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:37,318
He wants me to meet some people
or "faces" as he puts it.
293
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,112
I'm not good at meeting people.
294
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,878
What makes you think I am?
295
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,514
You run a business,
you must meet lots of people.
296
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,312
- In business, yes.
- Well, then.
297
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:49,069
Well, that's business.
I'm not very good at chitchat.
298
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,758
I'm not even very good at chit.
299
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,753
- We could always talk to each other.
- We don't have to go to a party to do that.
300
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,794
It's not the greatest book in the world,
I know that. My Life In Kenya.
301
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:07,312
Doesn't sound exactly heart-stopping.
So anything I can do to help push the sales...
302
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,999
- That's blackmail!
- Yes, I know.
303
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,149
Next one, I hope.
304
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:28,355
- We made it. Balloons.
- Wait.
305
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,358
Wait. Get your breath back first.
306
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,393
- You're not breathing very evenly yourself.
- I'm just being companionable.
307
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,314
- Do I look all right?
- Yes, very smart.
308
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,430
- Smart?
- Nice.
309
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,596
There's no need to gush.
310
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,359
If we don't like it, we won't stay.
311
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,628
Right.
312
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:54,557
- Come on, you used to like parties.
- I used to like cider.
313
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,828
Yeah...
314
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,712
Look, what if we just...
315
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,792
Li!
316
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,992
Hello, mate.
317
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,112
Sorry about the lift being on the blink.
318
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:18,029
It's all right, I always use the stairs.
Alistair, may I introduce Jean Pargetter?
319
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,718
Brilliant. Hi.
320
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,352
Hi.
321
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,949
Come in. Come in. Meet some faces.
322
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:38,956
Listen up, everybody, Lionel and Joan.
323
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,275
- Jean.
- Yeah, Jean, right.
324
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:46,440
- Do mingle, mingle. I'll get you a wet.
- My God, they're all 12 years old.
325
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:52,230
- Hi, I'm Tanya. I'm in aromatherapy.
- Are you really?
326
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,556
- Are you Alistair's parents?
- Certainly not!
327
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,797
- What are you in?
- I'm a writer.
328
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,159
Fantastic.
329
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,079
- And I run a secretarial agency.
- Fantastic.
330
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,076
- Have you tried the dip?
- The dip?
331
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,951
Marcus is troughing it.
332
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,276
I should get stuck in if I were you,
it's fantastic.
333
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,199
Fantastic.
334
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,708
There you go.
335
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,197
It's a sort of punch.
Marcus picked up the recipe in Zaire.
336
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,276
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
337
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,276
Brilliant, isn't it?
338
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,953
It's very...
339
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,629
It's the most awful drink I've ever had
in the whole of my life.
340
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,477
Really?
341
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:39,833
Li, there's a chap I think you should meet.
Er... Chas. Chas?
342
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,440
Chas is in book jackets, he'll probably do yours.
343
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,869
In crayon, presumably.
344
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,750
Author for you, Chas,
just throw some stuff at him.
345
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,189
I know who I want you to meet.
346
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,958
- What is it you want us to throw about?
- Ideas for the cover.
347
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,718
Ah.
348
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,718
- What's your book called again?
- My Life In Kenya.
349
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,990
Mm. What's it about?
350
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,235
My life in Kenya.
351
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,236
I suppose lions are rather passé.
352
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,397
- Not if you're a lion.
- Mm.
353
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,318
- What about women?
- What about women?
354
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:22,070
Those high-neck silk jobs slit to the thigh
would be eye-catching on a bookshelf.
355
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,588
- Cheongsams.
- Sorry?
356
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:28,633
They're called cheongsams,
and you got the wrong continent.
357
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,796
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
358
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,957
- What about Zulus?
- Wrong country.
359
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,514
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
360
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,599
- Got any ideas of your own?
- At the moment, several.
361
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,518
- You're not drinking much.
- I'm savouring it.
362
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,471
You wanted me to meet someone?
363
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,114
Yes, I did. Er... Me.
364
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,071
Oh!
365
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:54,318
- Where's Lionel been hiding you?
- In a little rosewood pencil box. Why?
366
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,399
Because of all the women in this room,
you stand out.
367
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:04,310
- Well, I know. I'm twice their age.
- Tosh! What are you? 45?
368
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,510
- Oh, well...
- No age at all.
369
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,352
Are you single?
370
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,152
I'm a widow.
371
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,679
Are you, though?
372
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,792
- Why do you say "are you, though" like that?
- Well, I...
373
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:24,868
- There you are.
- Hello, Lionel. Did you and Chas mesh?
374
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,115
- Mesh?
- You know...
375
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,599
Not so much... as...
376
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,832
Pity. Still, he's not the only
grape in the bunch.
377
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,316
To be perfectly honest,
I think he's becoming a bit...
378
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:43,070
barren, ideas-wise. Getting a bit long
in the tooth for the job, perhaps.
379
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,476
- Have you met Sean?
- He's not the one lying under the table?
380
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:51,275
No, no, no. That would be Marcus.
Sean's an outlet. I'll find him for you.
381
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,229
- He's probably still in short trousers.
- I think I've been chatted up.
382
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,157
- Who by?
- Alistair.
383
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,236
That's absurd.
384
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,431
- Why?
- Well... um...
385
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,631
If you say I could be his mother,
I'll spit in your eye.
386
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,830
- I wasn't going to.
- Why absurd?
387
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,189
- Er... ambitious?
- Better.
388
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,913
Lionel? Sean. Sean, Lionel.
389
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,315
- How do you do?
- You're not fiction, are you?
390
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,590
No, I'm a real person.
391
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,630
- I meant your book.
- Did you?
392
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,275
That's you two chatting.
Jean, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
393
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:32,031
Non-fiction, particularly in hardback,
isn't always that easy to shift.
394
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,230
Heavier, I suppose.
395
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,034
- I'm talking market, Lionel.
- Oh, market.
396
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,638
I do speak from experience.
397
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,194
I'm sure. You work in a book shop?
398
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,390
- I'm an outlet.
- Yes, so Alistair said,
399
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,032
but do you work in a book shop?
400
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,230
I own a few.
401
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,759
- Own?
- Yeah.
402
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,836
Any idea who's doing the jacket?
403
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:56,271
We were thinking of Chas, but it
could be that his best days are behind him.
404
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,080
Some truth in that. He's 32, you know.
405
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,554
Good God. Is he?
406
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,718
Let's face it, if you're not running
something by the time you're 30 these days...
407
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,752
- Well...
- Well...
408
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,279
It's such a pressure these days, isn't it?
Does one breed or not.
409
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,914
Yes, it is quite a responsibility.
410
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,188
Heavy.
411
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,472
And then one has to very carefully
consider placing the puppies.
412
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,751
Puppies? I was talking about kids.
413
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,393
Oh. I've never heard it referred to as breeding?
414
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,398
What did they call it in your day?
415
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,192
Er, having children?
416
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,992
Fantastic!
417
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,508
There's so much to think about.
418
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:45,352
Breast-feeding, global warming, nannies,
school fees, the rainforest,
419
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,154
genetic engineering,
whether to have an epidural.
420
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,031
It's quite a wide range.
421
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,755
I'm green, you see, that's half the problem.
422
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,509
It makes you feel good about yourself
but it can be awfully depressing.
423
00:24:58,560 --> 00:24:59,913
Yes.
424
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:04,238
I mean, what does the green child
have to look forward to?
425
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,193
Tanya wants t know what the green child
has to look forward to?
426
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,312
Blending in nicely with the lawn,
I should think.
427
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,955
- See you later.
- Fantastic!
428
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,673
- Was I a bit rude?
- Yes, but very welcome.
429
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:24,519
- Who does Alistair keep wanting you to meet?
- Him! What have you been doing?
430
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,232
Feeling older by the minute.
431
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,319
I've just been asked whether Lloyd George
was a truly great orator.
432
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,920
The assumption being you knew about him?
433
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,635
No, the assumption being that I knew
Lloyd George personally.
434
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,796
Now, why do you keep moving about?
435
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,956
I have to keep the circulation going.
436
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,796
- I like a woman who's into self-mockery.
- Yes, I keep myself in stitches.
437
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:52,435
Touché. Come on, Li.
Where have you been hiding her?
438
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:57,156
- In a little rosewood pencil box.
- That's what Jean said.
439
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,312
So I did.
440
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,238
- (Lionel) You didn't mind leaving early?
- Not at all.
441
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,919
Another hour and I'd have been
changing nappies.
442
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,316
Not so much a generation gap,
more a generation chasm.
443
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:15,591
- Thanks for coming.
- Well, it was an experience.
444
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,675
(Chuckling)
445
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,190
What made you think of
the little rosewood pencil box?
446
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,357
- Just came to me. You?
- Yes, the same.
447
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,516
You bought it for me
in an antique shop in... where?
448
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,432
- Chalfont St Giles. Near the camp.
- That's right.
449
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:37,834
If I was off duty at the hospital and you had
a 36-hour pass, I used to come up by train.
450
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,997
Funny thing to buy a girl
you were in love with.
451
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,314
Were you?
452
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,957
You know damn well I was.
453
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,833
I must have been.
Three and six that pencil box cost.
454
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,035
- I've still got it.
- Have you?
455
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,593
- Must be worth millions now.
- At least.
456
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,876
Ghosts. Everywhere you look, ghosts.
457
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,717
Maybe we're the ghosts.
458
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,432
Maybe we are.
459
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,599
# You must remember this
460
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,200
# A kiss is still a kiss
461
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,630
# A sigh is just a sigh
462
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,354
# The fundamental things apply
463
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,154
# As time goes by
464
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,153
# And when two lovers woo
465
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,953
# They still say I love you
466
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,912
# On that you can rely
467
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,877
# The world will always welcome lovers
468
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:07,953
# As time goes by #
469
00:28:08,003 --> 00:28:12,553
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