All language subtitles for Angel From Hell s01e08 Guy.eng

All right, I hope you all enjoy this.

This is a little preparation
for next Sunday when Linda's here.

Brad, sorry I didn't wrap
everything in bacon.

(chuckles)

Wait, seriously, there's no bacon?

ALLISON: It's so
sweet you want everything

to be perfect for Linda.

AMY: Ah, who would have thought

the only Fuller getting tail

in this family would be the

- Silver Hedgehog?
- (chuckles)

Yeah, nickname's not really catching on,

so stop trying, okay?

But, uh, Tower of
Terror's got a great point.

I don't want Linda to feel uncomfortable

as the only plus-one, why
don't you two bring dates?

You want us to bring first
dates to a family dinner?

Although it wouldn't be the
weirdest first date I ever had.

- Thank you, Holocaust museum.
- MARV: It's a challenge.

Bring dates to the barbecue next Sunday.

What about the receptionist at work?

What's-her-name, that
you're obsessed with.

Oh, I don't even... Oh, that girl.

Uh, Clara, I think, is her name.

No, I'm not obsessed with her.

I barely even mention her.

�Dad, Clara's wearing glasses today.�

�Dad, Clara's eating a bagel.�

�Dad, Clara's choking.�

- �Dad, Clara's fine.�
- (chuckles)

I almost gave her mouth-to-mouth.

Would have been a
great first kiss story.

AMY: Hey, Allison, how about that lawyer

you've been drooling over

for the last few weeks...
what's his name, Hugh?

The guy on your floor.

Why don't you ask him out?

Drooling? What? I don't even...

(scoffing): Huh?

All right, I'm
gonna stop you right here,

'cause you're
spitting all over the zucchini.

Allison's in, I'm in, too.

Anything for the Silver Hedgehog.

Nickname's catching on.

It's getting traction.

Like a runaway train, Marv.

White coat on or off?

Well, whenever I impersonate
a doctor, I leave it off.

White coat makes it look like
you're trying too hard.

Hugh has everything I look for.

He's handsome, like an
untattooed David Beckham.

He has an old earring hole,

which means he was probably in a band,

which means he was creative,
but then he made the choice

to go into law, which
means he's also responsible.

But it's environmental law,
so he's not smarter than me.

Oh, you adorable OCD snowflake.

I just love your rigid assumptions

about who you think is best for you.

- One more thing.
- Hmm?

- Hugh.
- Oh. Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

(laughing): I didn't see you.

That's so weird.

Sorry. I'm sorry about that.

No, totally my fault, I
was walking out of my office

right where your friend was pushing you.

Right, so it makes sense you would...

Yeah. Are you okay?

Huh? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

Yeah, work's been a little rough,

but sometimes I like it rough.

Unhear that, please.

Wow, I am really, really bad at this.

It's just that I
haven't been dating much,

but my dad has, which is
weird 'cause he's my dad.

He's been dating quite a
bit. Yeah, he's a hedgehog,

and there's this barbecue challenge.

Clara has a pretty sweater.
What was the question?

Are you okay?

(cell phone rings)

Oh, I'm just gonna get this real quick.

I don't know why I said that
in a southern accent, but, yeah.

(chuckles) Hello.

AMY: Walk away.

Just walk away.

Yeah, I need to take
this. It's my friend,

and she's telling me to
walk away, so I'm gonna

just...

Okay. (groans)

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Oh, man, I messed up so bad.

I'm sorry, are you waiting
for me to make you feel better?

'Cause that was horrible.

You have a full-blown
case of the dating jitters.

It's lunch. I am gonna go to the gym

and work off this embarrassment.

Oh, Allison.

Exercise is a waste of
time, everybody knows that.

You need to shake off the
rust with a practice guy,

and then you can
take another stab at Hugh.

Allow Dr. Amy to write you

the prescription for a one-night stand.

Should be injected
once in the next 24 hours.

Should be taken on a
full stomach of alcohol.

Should not be used while driving.

Should not be taken orally.

Side effects may include a baby.

This says, �Vicodin for Amy Cass.�

You know what, you get nervous
because you care too much.

So what you have to
do is hook up with a guy

you don't care about, who
you have nothing in common with.

I have no interest in a one-night stand.

I'm sorry, is your dad in here?

Fine. If you're not interested

in a sweaty, muscly, athletic guy,

then let's just go to the gym.

- Marv.
- Walt.

Hey, any idea why all the
magazines in my office

are addressed to a Dr. Mal P. Ractice?

Pretty sure it's
pronounced �practice.�

I'm pretty sure it's
pronounced �mail fraud.�

(chuckling): Oh. We'll
settle out of court.

I'll pay you in meats

at my barbecue this Sunday. You coming?

Oh, yes, I wouldn't
miss it for the world.

Hey, you want me to bring anything?

Maybe a machete to
hack through the steak?

Ooh, how about a time machine

so you can get
rejected from Harvard again?

Which is where I went.

What, and go to
school with Mark Zuckerberg

and Natalie Portman? I think not.

Ooh, I don't think you would
be in the same class.

I got a time machine, I
can go whenever I want.

Look, if you're gonna
create a hypothetical,

you've got to be prepared to follow it

all the way down the rabbit hole.

Oh, look, I have a patient.

He's got me a little stumped.

I was wondering, can I refer him to you?

- Sure, I'll take a look.
- Thank you.

I got to head on
out. They got me speaking

at this dermatological conference
in Diamond Bar, so...

(mock groan)

- Well, that's terrific.
- Thank you.

I mean, that they
found someone after I passed.

Diamond Bar.

Have a good speech, Dr. Ractice.

Love that guy.

Morning. Got you a coffee and
a bagel with cream cheese.

Don't forget to chew this time, though.

Thank you, that is so sweet.

I didn't even know you saw me choking.

You just kept texting.

No, I-I... I put it away.

I was about to get in
there, but then it came out, so...

Anyway, I have been
meaning to ask you something.

What do you say we
grab a drink after work?

That'd be great.

That would be great.

To go ahead and
celebrate my job transition

with a drink. That's a
pretty sweater, Clara.

- Thank you.
- Yesterday, too,

you had one on. Pretty.

Folks, I'd like to take the floor.

It seems I've been
released from the cage

that was my corner office and
I'm no longer your boss.

I've been reverse-promoted to broker.

So the rumors of you spiking
the punch with Molly

at the manager's retreat are true.

I can neither confirm nor deny

that I was behind the most baller move

ever made at this company.
We can all agree on that.

- I don't know...
- So, uh,

the good news is that the real top dog

now is back for you guys.

I would like to retake
the floor at this point

and, first of all, con... gratulate you

- on the reverse promotion?
- You got that right, kid.

And then let you know that
I think we all know

that the title of top dog

is not something you
claim. It's something you earn.

Wow. Looks like Cynthia's
nipping at my heels there.

But until she closes
the house on Cedar...

real... real top dog out.

If someone could could choose
a nickname other than top dog,

that'd be great. You-you
look so much alike.

(scoffs)

- I... don't see it.
- I don't see it.

I can't believe you
brought a milkshake to the gym.

It's not a milkshake. It's frosting.

Oh.

Oh... We got the same jump rope.

It's like the boxing gym
version of Lady and the Tramp.

It's like we're about to
engage in an epic tug-o-war.

- I think I'd lose that one.
- Yes, you would.

I would rip your arms right
out of their sockets.

Sorry. I thought that if I said that

with a smile, it would be more charming.

Well, keep trying. To be charming.

That arm thing was very graphic.

You were so confident back there.

Well, why would I be nervous?

That guy is so not my type.

Seems like a bit of a meathead.

Exactly. And what's another
word for meathead?

Beef... skull?

Practice guy.

Well, he's not bad-looking.

Yeah. Grade-A beefskull.

Go on over there, chat him up. Practice.

I'm Allison, by the way.

Gavin. Nice to meet you.

I don't see you around here a lot.

Because I'm not around
here a lot. Are you?

Yeah, I'm actually in
between jobs right now,

so I got some extra time on my hands.

I got one more set on this circuit.

Does your circuit ever include
drinks at Fordy's?

- Say, tonight?
- Sure. I am

supposed to meet a
friend, though.

Well, why don't you
bring him along, huh?

If he's anything like you, we'll all

have to take our
vitamins and say our prayers.

Eugene, I'm happy to say that that mole,

like all the others,
is completely normal.

Are you sure? Because it
used to look like Kauai,

but now I think it's
starting to look like Oahu.

No, everything you're concerned
about is pretty straightforward.

Not even sure why Walt referred
you to me, actually. Anyways,

- go on, get out of here.
- Okay.

Mandy, who's my 3:00?

That'd be me again.

I booked back-to-back appointments

for my follow-up questions.

Oh, I see why Walt referred you.

Now, back on this
mole... I think it's changed

since I've last seen
you. and I know that's

a warning sign, so can
we take another look?

Just a second.

Mandy, any word from
my pregnant daughter?

Has she gone into labor yet?

Allison's not pregnant.

Thank you, Mandy.

Oh, that's the code word.

Marv, your pregnant daughter

Allison has gone into labor.

I'll reschedule with whatever
problem patient you have

at that time.

Again, thank you, Mandy.

Wow.

That is a real talent.

You're a peanut catcher. Wow, you just

keep getting better and better.

Hey, look who decided to show up.

Ladies, this is my friend Phillip.

Sorry for being late.
Pinterest rabbit hole.

- Hey, Phil.
- It's Phillip.

You know, I got to tell
you, Phil, you're not exactly

what I was expecting for
the friend of a handsome,

well-built guy like Gavin.

Well, you're certainly,
uh, missing the mark

for what I was expecting by about

12 years and one vest.

It is loud in here.

Well, we don't have to stay here.

Hey how about your place, Gavin?

Oh, no, we can't, 'cause

uh, I-I don't want to wake up my mom.

He lives with his mom.

- Hey, you two.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- This is my brother Brad.

Ah, you must be Hugh.

- Gavin...
- Gely excited

about going out with my sister here.

I-I'm here to see Clara, actually.

- Really, you are?
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go do that. I will see you

- at the barbecue Sunday.
- Huh?

Someday. See you at
the barbecue someday.

Never heard that expression?

It means, like, uh,
like, �I'll see you later�"

It's, uh... uh, regional...

- thing. Okay, I...
- Yeah, see you later.

Let's all go back to my house.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Which is why I'm studying

to be a veterinary assistant at night.

Oh, that's amaz... A noble calling.

Yeah, man's best
friend's best friend's assistant.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Oh... Yeah.

So I was gonna ask you at the...

I-I'll just ask you right now...

don't know what you have
planned this weekend,

but would you like to go to a barbecue?

Here comes the wrecking
crew. What? Uh. Huh?

Clara, what you are drinking?
'Cause I'm buying for you.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. Can
you and I have a quick talk?

- Huh?
- Thanks, dude.

I don't know if you noticed,

but, uh, I'm actually on a date.

Listen, dude, I'm
recently divorced, demoted,

looking to shore myself
up emotionally, okay?

I need to silver-line
this day in a big way.

Clara's the sale I gots to close.

All right, A, I don't like
the way you're talking about her.

She's a woman, not a
sale. And B, I'm pretty deep

into escrow on this,
buddy. And now I don't like

the way I'm talking about her.

What can I get you
guys started out with?

BOTH: Double rye
Manhattan with three cherries.

That's my drink, bro.

Well, you have excellent taste, brah.

Yeah, I know I do, 'cause I have it.

Here we are.

This place is sweet.

Thanks. Do you want the grand tour?

Yeah, sure.

Right on time.

Designated bang-ees
separate themselves to the other room

while the support
staff is banished here,

to Couch Island.

Hey, come on in the kitchen
with me for just a moment.

Oh, you're strong!

What the hell do you
think you're doing out there?

Something I should've
done a long time ago.

I am tired of being the guy
who talks to the best friend

of the hot girl that
my good-looking buddy

is making the sweet-sweet to.

Oh, please, you knew what
you were getting into

when you hitched your
sidecar to Gavin's hog.

You're a wingman, dude.

Start acting like one.

Well, not tonight.

I'm going home.

And Gavin is driving me,

because I have night blindness.

Oh, you little bat-eyed freak.

You've left me no choice.

What are you doing? That's assault.

Now, you're gonna go into the
little room in the garage,

you're gonna get in the shower,

and you're gonna shampoo that beard

that reeks of your recessive genes.

And you're gonna get out,

and you're gonna put
on whatever accessories

and/or enhancements are laid out for you

and meet me at my bed,

on your knees,

'cause we're gonna get Roman tonight.

Hey, Phil and I are gonna

check out my bone collection.

Then bone.

Sorry, I was gonna spin it, then bailed.

You okay, buddy?

(phone chirps)

It's a penis.

There's a penis on your phone.

I know that penis.

- I'm intrigued.
- It's Eugene.

Walt is pranking me,

and he set me up with
this hypochondriac patient

who's texting me his
every mole from everywhere.

It's got to stop.

It's time to retaliate.

(gasps) Oh, a prank war?

- Uh-huh.
- Oh.

What if we bake him some cookies,

but instead of sugar, (chuckles)

we use salt.

Okay.

Or he's giving a speech

at a dermatology conference.

How embarrassing would it be

if he had a huge rash on his face?

You said you had a poison
oak problem in the yard.

So you're gonna poison him?

Linda.

This is a dermatological prank war.

Victory is all that matters.

So, what did you do for a living

before you stopped doing it?

Um, I'm an architect.

I, uh, I have my own firm.

Really?

You said you were between jobs.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm turning
a lot of stuff down lately

to help my mom.

She had hip surgery,

so I moved her into my house.

Wow.

That's (chuckles) that's really sweet.

Yeah, that's actually, um,

what this tattoo means.

�Protector of elders.�

Really?

No. (chuckles) I lost a bet.

Oh, well, what would you
have gotten if you'd won?

Punched in the balls.

It was a fraternity thing.

Oh.

Are you okay? You just...

You look a little flushed.

Yeah, yeah.

I just, uh, I got a little nervous.

Oh, why would you be nervous?

Because you're actually a great guy.

You seem like you're just realizing that.

Okay, this is gonna start
out sounding slightly...

totally... harsh,

but it's going to end

in a huge compliment, okay?

- All right.
- So just hang in there.

All right, so, um,

there was this one, like,

really, really, really,
really, really hot guy

that I wanted to ask out, but, um,

I was too nervous, so
I needed a practice guy.

You know, someone
I wouldn't care about.

And based on first impressions,

you seemed like the
perfect practice guy.

What I discovered was that underneath

that horrendous tattoo...

Okay, I'm not really interested

in what you discovered.

Um, I don't want to be
someone's practice guy.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's not

how that was... Okay.

So I guess we should just say,

�I'll see you at a barbecue someday.�

That's not a thing!

I like you!

(groans)

Tell me everything
about Amy. I'm in love.

Blink once if you're
saying this under duress.

Hey!

There's my chubby little lumberjack.

Come on, pal, you need to
get off my property right now.

My property.

When can I see you again?

Well, I play for the New York Liberty,

and training camp starts

- tomorrow.
- Take my number.

- I don't need that.
- Just think about it.

Just did.

What did you do to that boy?

I angel-kissed him.

- I'm sorry. What?
- I angel-kissed him.

It's like a French kiss,

but the tongue goes all the
way to the base of the brain.

And if you hit it
just right, it's amazing.

But if you miss it, the best you
can hope for is a quick death.

- Medically impossible.
- Mm.

But that means you can bring
Hugh to the barbecue,

'cause you slept with Gavin
and got out all your jitters.

- Yeah, about that.
- What did you not do last night?

I blew it with Gavin, who's
actually really great.

And, unfortunately, now he
thinks I'm really shallow

and he wants nothing to do with me.

Ugh. I knew you didn't have
it in you to have it in you,

but, hey, it's okay. Don't worry.

I still think you're ready for Hugh.

But I want to see Gavin again.

Turns out he's not the practice guy.

He's the guy I've been practicing for.

If only we knew someone

who knew someone who had his number.

Hey, you want some
breakfast? I'm thinking frosting.

I mean, 'cause it just seems like

if I did have a guardian angel...

That's me.

And you were said guardian angel...

- Oh, it's a trap.
- The least you could do

is make one little phone call,

even if it meant you
had to see Phillip again.

Oh, Allison.

Honey, I have to
confess something to you.

I'm just a crazy lady.

I'm not your guardian... I can't do it.

Can't do it. No.
I... I'll call Phil. Shoot!

Where's his number?

- (elevator bell dings)
- Marv.

Walt. Hey, how's your new patient?

Hope you don't mind.
Told him you do house calls.

(laughing): Oh, you

- got me good.
- (laughs)

Hey, listen, uh, good
luck with the speech tonight.

- Oh.
- MARV: Really.

WALT: Why, thank you. Much appreciated.

- MARV: Hope you kill it.
- Hmm.

You got a little something
on your cheek, by the way.

Okay. Other side.

- Other? Here?
- Yeah, yeah, a little higher.

Uh, did I get it?

Oh, there's no doubt that you got it.

That's an odd way to
phrase it, but thank you.

- (elevator bell dings)
- Yup. This is you.

Yup. I'll see you Sunday.

All righty.

So here we are, back where it began

- for us so many hours ago.
- Yeah, there's no us.

Uh, listen, all I want
is Gavin's information.

And if your foot touches
me one more time,

I'm gonna snap it off at the ankle.

I'm sorry, I wish I could help,

but Allison really insulted Gavin.

He never wants to see her ever again.

I hear you.

Allow me to counter...

with my scent.

(sniffing)

Mi amor.

So anyways, I'm thinking, Sunday night,

you and me kicking it on my boat?

Oh. I thought the boat got repossessed.

- That's not till Monday, man.
- Can I talk to you for a second?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Thank you.

Maybe you didn't hear me last night

with the three cherries in
my mouth, but back off.

Easy, bro. I wrestled in high school.

I wrestled myself.
What weight class were you?

- 106. Late bloomer.
- Heard that. I bloomed super late.

- Nice stance, by the way.
- Thanks.

Stance is where the power comes from.

(grunts) Sweet escape just now.

They called me Teeny Houdini.

Okay, you guys, just stop.

This is ridiculous

and weird. I don't
want to date either of you.

- What?
- Huh?

So, I'm just

gonna scoot on down to
H.R., get this all on record,

and kindly ask you
both to keep your distance.

I got to tell you, I'm 100% shocked

that this peacocking didn't work.

Don't sweat it. Quality
buck like yourself...

you'll have a
reverse breakup in no time.

Thanks, bro. Right back at you, dude.

You deserve a true partner in life.

One who walks besides
you, not in front or behind.

Hey, man, I know you've
had a rough week.

- Would a family barbecue cheer you up?
- You know what?

I think it really might. Can
you pick me up, though?

Because I lose the Lexus on Friday.

- You know it.
- My man.

(both grunting)

- There's that escape.
- There it is.

I really like you, man.

You sure you don't
want my help with Gavin?

I mean, I've angel-ed you this far.

I'd kind of like to stick the landing.

- Nope, I got it.
- Because you need

a big gesture, you know?

And I could whip up a children's choir

or a flash mob or-or
maybe some sort of eclipse?

Lunar? Solar? Mitsubishi?

Here he is.

What are you doing here?

Don't blame Phillip.

It was the only way I could get you here

to apologize and buy
you a cup of coffee.

Actually, I bought
you one of everything.

Because I don't know what
kind of coffee you like,

and I didn't want to assume anything

about you like I did yesterday.

This is a sweet and wasteful gesture.

It was wrong of me to assume I knew you

based on the short amount
of time we spent together.

And I'm just really
hoping that you won't judge me

based on that same short amount of time.

Hi. I'm Gavin.

I'm an architect, and
my mom lives with me.

Hi, I'm Allison. I'm a dermatologist,

and I can remove that tattoo for you.

(laughs)

- Amy, too big a gesture.
-
I want you to show me.

Too on the nose.

Shut it down. Are you sure?

Because a power ballad feels right.

No? Okay. All right,
kids, that's a wrap.

Now, you don't have to go
home, but you can't stay here. Out.

Let's go.

You want to go to a barbecue Sunday?

Oh, okay. See you later.

No. No, no, no. No, do you actually want

to go to a barbecue with me this Sunday?

Oh. Oh-oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, that'd be great.

Thanks for coming. Glad
you could make it.

All right. Who else is here? Walt!

Hey.

How'd the speech go? Was
it a break-out performance?

Well, I didn't make it to the speech.

I was rushed to the hospital.

- What?
- My eyes were totally swollen shut.

I looked like Rango.

Gotcha?

Big time. (chuckles)

Derma prank war respect, sir.

Aha. See? Just good fun.

(to �Hallelujah Chorus�):

Nickname's gaining traction, Marv.

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