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Officer Andy, Officer Kevin,
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perp driving by your position.
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I repeat, perp driving by your position.
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Perp stole a bunch of dildos
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from the AARP Women's Auxiliary Group.
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Christ, are you guys sleeping again?
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He's going to go past you anytime now.
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He just went past you.
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Yep, getting away.
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Andy, Kevin, wake up.
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Yeah, I don't have my seatbelt on.
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Who are we chasing?
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There is a perp ahead in a Torino,
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going about 45 in a 65 mile per hour zone.
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He stole a bunch of dildos
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and you're the only team in the area.
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He sees you, he's turning into
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the last remaining Rojack Supermarket.
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We're going in.
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Are you guys driving through the supermarket?
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We go where life takes us.
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Ooh, there's a special two for $4
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on graham crackers.
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Go right a little, go right a little.
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Ah balls!
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We're out.
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He's heading toward the nuclear power plant.
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If he crashes his car into it,
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it'll be Chernobyl all over again.
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Hey, are you guys coming over to the barbecue
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I'm having Sunday?
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Sure am.
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Save me some chicken.
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Bring your swim trunks and a lot of lube.
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Now crash into this guy before we have a nuclear holocaust.
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Are you okay?
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I peed a little.
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Well, I peed a lot, like a whole lot.
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Let's go get this dildo thief.
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He's out of his car and climbing onto a roof.
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Go, go, go.
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You lost the loot.
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And the perp killed himself.
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Stop, police, freeze.
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Put your hands where we can see them.
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Just put down the bag of Bruin dildos
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and nobody gets hurt.
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No way.
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These things are worth their weight in gold.
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Kevin!
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I'm okay, I'm okay.
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Whoo, just a little cock-eyed.
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What if I return the dildos?
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No no, nobody can tell that you haven't used them already.
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That's a health code violation right there.
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Okay then.
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I regret nothing.
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Noooo!
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I was surprised at how quickly
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those dildos disappeared.
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They were worth a lot of money.
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He's dead.
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Well, he died the way he would've wanted.
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Covered in sex toys.
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Well, we'll just chalk that up to another failure.
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Hey, failure is just another way of saying success.
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Look, my landlord does it all the time.
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I mean, granted his English is terrible, but--
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So since you're both free now,
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I've got another case on the books.
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If you numbnuts can handle it.
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Well, you can count on us to fail or succeed, Chief.
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Great, what do you know about Republicans?
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They don't care about people.
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Hey, I'm a Republican.
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What, really?
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You two are partners and you've never discussed this.
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Well, I think it's boring to talk about politics.
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I think there are good people on both sides.
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Well, I'll give you some time to unpack that.
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Our latest victim came to us under condition of anonymity
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because he's a Republican senator.
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These guys, they're porno stars,
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and you know, you can also pay them to do stuff to you,
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but they tied me up and took my money.
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They made me give them the combination to my safe,
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or they'd tell everyone who I was.
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They have video and pictures of me.
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I can't let those get out.
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They're monsters.
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We've got 17 of these poor saps
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who are all getting ripped off by these gay porn stars.
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17, that's some serious shit.
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Nearly every male Republican politician
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on the Eastern seaboard.
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Is every Republican politician secretly gay?
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Secretly might not be the word I would use.
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Hey, that's not true.
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Okay look, when you gotta be good all of the time,
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you just, you gotta blow off steam somehow.
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What?
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Look, a man gets lonely, okay?
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You know, like when he's in prison or the Navy,
104
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or a boy band.
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Yeah, I'm not going down that rabbit hole.
106
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Rick, T.J., bring in the porn.
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Hey losers, heard you screwed up the dildo heist.
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Yeah, too much dicking around.
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Shut up guys.
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Yeah, why are you always such dicks?
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We're good at it.
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No time for dick-swinging intimidation boys.
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We've got work to do.
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You like these kind of movies, boys?
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Naughty Frat Sluts, Triple X Volume 13.
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I like frat sluts.
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No, you don't, dude.
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These are the gay kind.
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Oh, frat sluts.
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Thank you, guys.
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You can go, we'll call you if we need you.
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Fine, catch you later losers.
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Screw off!
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Now pay attention.
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These are the perps.
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Jason, Thoby,
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and Clem.
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They work for Candy Reign Entertainment,
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a porn company here in town.
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I've heard of them.
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Really?
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I had no idea there was a gay porn factory here.
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Don't be naive, Andy.
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I just watched a man plummet to his doom
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and get crushed under the weight of a bag of rubber dicks.
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How am I naive?
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Anyway, the politicians have us up against a wall.
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Unless we want the government to cut off our funding,
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we have got to stop the blackmail,
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and if possible, the prostitution on top of that.
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Okay, how do you expect us to do that?
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You two are going undercover.
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As Republican politicians?
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Some kind of sting operation?
145
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Not quite.
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You two are going to be porn stars.
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What?
Porn stars?
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That's right.
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You're going deep.
150
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But I'm not gay.
151
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I mean, yeah sure.
152
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Andy's bi, but he has a girlfriend.
153
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Dude, I'm going to propose to Rebecca tonight.
154
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It's our anniversary and I'm not gay.
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Sure you are.
156
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You said that one time you'd sleep with Zac Efron.
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Because he is pretty, like a girl.
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If I had to.
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I'm not gay.
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You're gonna have to infiltrate these clowns,
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penetrate their cover.
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What if they really want us to have sex?
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That's why we're sending both of you.
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But if worse comes to worse,
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you guys can fake it enough to the cameras.
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We'll also send you with some emergency viagra
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in case you get separated.
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But.
But.
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No buts, except the booty kind.
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You two have screwed up for the last time.
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Now you're going to take it in the butt.
172
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Hey Broseph, nice work on the rugby field today.
173
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Do you think so, man?
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I thought I was distracted.
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Distracted?
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What were you distracted by?
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You.
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Coach Reynolds!
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What the hell was going on in here?
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My top two players going at it in the locker room.
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This is repulsive.
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Please Coach, don't tell.
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We'll do whatever you want.
184
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Anything?
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Cut!
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Jesus Christmas, Clem.
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That's not the line.
188
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Hank, what is it?
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It's "Please Coach, don't tell,
190
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We'll do anything you want."
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That's right.
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You have to say "anything"
193
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or else Thoby's next line just doesn't make any sense.
194
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Sorry.
195
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Also, I think the line is, "My two top players."
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Not "My top two players, Toby."
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What's the difference?
198
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That's the way I wrote it,
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and that's the way it's gonna be.
200
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It's a top joke.
201
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Like they're obviously bottoms.
202
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It's subtle.
203
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Oh.
204
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Let's take it again from
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when you were coming back from the showers.
206
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Excuse me, Ms. Debris.
207
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It's almost 1:00 p.m. and the new auditions are here.
208
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Well, ain't that a kick in the balls.
209
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Okay everyone, that's lunch.
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Lunch?
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Hello boys, thanks for coming in.
212
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What are your names?
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Chad.
214
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And I'm Biff.
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How nice, take off your pants.
216
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Already?
217
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Being a timid little mouse is not a qualification
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for a career in the adult film industry.
219
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Understood?
220
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:34,530
Well, I think we have some openings you might fit.
221
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Let's see the rear views.
222
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,040
Actually we're tops.
223
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Yeah yeah, total tops.
224
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So butts not applicable.
225
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:44,180
You know boys, everyone says that,
226
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,010
but you really should know
227
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:47,173
that the money's better for bottoms.
228
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:48,630
I'm not that interested in the money.
229
00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:51,890
Oh, just doing it for kicks eh?
230
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,420
I've got your number, stud.
231
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:54,690
Let's cut to the chase.
232
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In gay porn, everyone shows their ass.
233
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Except Thoby, he has a special clause in his contract
234
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where he never takes his pants off.
235
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It adds to his mystique.
236
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,890
Can I get that special clause?
237
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A newbie like you?
238
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With no clout?
239
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:13,704
Doubt it.
240
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,540
Now spin around and show me your asses.
241
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,520
Oh, excellent, excellent.
242
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You have spectacular glutes.
243
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,410
Andy?
244
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I don't know if I can do this.
245
00:12:32,654 --> 00:12:35,174
Chill out, Biff.
246
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,040
You'll get used to it.
247
00:12:37,042 --> 00:12:38,742
Turn around, boys.
248
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Now, we're shooting scene two of our new frat movie
249
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,010
this afternoon.
250
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We're in the need of a couple naked extras for atmosphere.
251
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If you guys are ready, Hank can square away your contracts,
252
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and you'll be getting paid in no time.
253
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I'm in.
254
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You too, Biff?
255
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Yeah, yes.
256
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Great.
257
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:03,560
Hank?
258
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:04,590
Yes, Ms. Debris?
259
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:08,350
Get these boys' information.
260
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They work for us now.
261
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Holy cannoli.
262
00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:13,593
Pick up your pants, boys.
263
00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:14,790
You're distracting Hank.
264
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So I think we can pan across here.
265
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I want sort of a Lawrence of Arabia feel here.
266
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As we see Jason's butt, considered as rolling hills.
267
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A landscape of the body, if you will.
268
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Oui oui, I will make a mountain out of these molehills.
269
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Hey new guys, what's up?
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I'm Jason, Jason Waterfalls.
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Hey, I'm Chad and this is Biff.
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00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:48,880
Hey.
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Clem.
274
00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:53,286
Thoby, what up?
275
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,270
It's a little awkward meeting new people
276
00:13:55,265 --> 00:13:57,425
when we're all nearly naked.
277
00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:58,650
You get used to it.
278
00:13:58,650 --> 00:14:00,050
It's always nice to meet some fresh meat
279
00:14:00,054 --> 00:14:01,904
and you're real cute.
280
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,890
Yeah, you guys got some nice asses.
281
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,010
We get to fuck you in a later scene?
282
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:07,620
No.
283
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:11,370
I mean no, we're basically tops.
284
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:12,750
Wow.
285
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,520
I hope you have the statistics to back that up.
286
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,750
Well, we're just voyeurs in the scene anyway.
287
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:18,790
Yeah.
288
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,130
Yeah, so let's talk this out.
289
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,686
Clem's gonna be fucking Jason here,
290
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:22,920
while he blows me.
291
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,910
You guys are just gonna watch?
292
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,750
Well yeah, that's all they told us to do.
293
00:14:27,747 --> 00:14:31,487
You know, the Nazis also did what they were told.
294
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,460
Those guys were gay as hell
295
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:35,190
and revved up on speed.
296
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:37,890
Okay we good, we good?
297
00:14:37,894 --> 00:14:39,404
Okay, and start with the fucking and roll.
298
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,410
Oh yeah.
299
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:50,220
Coach, so glad I joined the team.
300
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:54,440
All right, pay attention you two.
301
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,096
Yes sir.
302
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:58,322
You need to work together as a team
303
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,700
and I don't think you're learning your lesson well enough.
304
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,410
You, slap your teammates' ass.
305
00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:04,280
Yes sir.
306
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,870
Yeah, you want to get into it.
307
00:15:08,870 --> 00:15:10,930
It's all about teamwork.
308
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:11,760
Now you!
309
00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:12,603
Sir?
310
00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:14,146
Come over here and lick my nipples.
311
00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:15,910
My hands are kind of busy.
312
00:15:19,465 --> 00:15:20,845
Yes sir.
313
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,510
Hey coach, can I get in on this too?
314
00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:58,030
I want to be a real part of the team.
315
00:15:58,030 --> 00:15:59,510
I want to fuck too.
316
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:00,710
Help yourself.
317
00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:06,736
Oh, praise Jesus.
318
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:07,570
That good?
319
00:16:07,573 --> 00:16:09,303
I feel him in my belly.
320
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:18,400
I'm going to win all the awards for this.
321
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:27,546
What the hell was that, man?
322
00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:30,240
You just jump in there and start fucking a guy?
323
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,010
Kevin, these are the guys.
324
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,740
We've got to make them trust us.
325
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:36,370
We have to make them think we're gay, like they are.
326
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,080
It's just weird is all.
327
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,120
Dude, think about it.
328
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,340
If we're not going to join in,
329
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:43,080
then how are we going to get in their circle?
330
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,330
Oh, you got in that guy's circle all right.
331
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:47,890
How was it?
332
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:53,070
Honestly, it felt good.
333
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,630
I mean, I had anal sex before with chicks.
334
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:56,460
It's always good,
335
00:16:56,463 --> 00:16:58,803
but this time was with someone who wanted it.
336
00:16:59,901 --> 00:17:00,731
It's just--
337
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:01,574
Hey new guys!
338
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:02,727
Really great work today.
339
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,420
Yeah, you really plowed me to heck and back, Chad.
340
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,330
You got a real future in this business.
341
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,160
Thanks.
342
00:17:08,163 --> 00:17:10,443
Yeah, a real team player, I like that.
343
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,660
You too, squirt.
344
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,580
You really looked disgusted and ashamed
345
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,860
at what you had to do in that scene.
346
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,880
Thanks.
347
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,280
Hey, the boys and I,
348
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,240
we usually head down to Scudders for a few beers
349
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,680
after a shoot to wind down.
350
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:24,322
You wanna tag along?
351
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,070
We'd love that, wouldn't we Biff?
352
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,630
Yeah.
353
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:34,710
So how'd you get into porn?
354
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:36,260
You paying for your tuition at MIT?
355
00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:39,382
Nope, I just love the dick.
356
00:17:39,381 --> 00:17:40,781
You love this dick.
357
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:44,440
Ah, shots for everyone.
358
00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:45,303
Hey!
359
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,130
Holy shit!
360
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,753
Zooey, coming in with a hookup.
361
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,330
Hey, it's the least I can do.
362
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,490
So Jason told me you made some new buddies, huh?
363
00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:54,090
Yeah, so this is Biff, and Chad.
364
00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:55,987
And Zooey's a bartender here.
365
00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:57,590
Zooey's the best.
366
00:17:57,587 --> 00:17:59,257
You boys flatter me.
367
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:01,110
Thanks for the shots, sweetheart.
368
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,310
To filmmaking.
369
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:03,410
To filmmaking.
370
00:18:13,736 --> 00:18:18,736
Um so I--
371
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,800
Hey, relax Chad.
372
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,160
Listen, Clem and I like to bring cool new friends
373
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,510
into our fuck buddy relationship all the time.
374
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:28,720
Keeps it interesting.
375
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,030
Nothing serious.
376
00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:33,200
We're just gonna get high and mess around.
377
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,080
You're welcome to join us.
378
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:39,223
I'm sorry, you guys are being really really nice,
379
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,340
but I've got a boyfriend.
380
00:18:42,342 --> 00:18:44,722
No need to apologize.
381
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,770
We'll just have to have our fun onscreen.
382
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,810
Sometimes it's hotter that way.
383
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:53,020
In fact, I'm going to propose to him tonight.
384
00:18:53,024 --> 00:18:58,024
Oh my God, that's so sweet.
385
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,920
Hey Zooey, can we get more shots please?
386
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,790
What are you doing here with us?
387
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:05,000
You should go.
388
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,050
Romance should be cherished.
389
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:10,230
You go home and propose right after you show us the ring.
390
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:16,910
Oh, it's gorgeous.
391
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:20,270
It's a little girly for a dude.
392
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,490
He likes girly things.
393
00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:26,240
He's transgender.
394
00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:27,763
Cool cool.
395
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,160
Well, you do your boo boo.
396
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:36,010
So Kev, Biff?
397
00:19:37,190 --> 00:19:38,090
You good?
398
00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:39,930
Oh, don't worry about Biff.
399
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:43,740
We will take very good care of him.
400
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:45,654
Yeah I'm cool, man.
401
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,010
I'm just being gay.
402
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,320
Hanging out with my gay porn friends.
403
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,960
Oh, I'm not gay.
404
00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:53,250
Wait, what?
405
00:19:53,251 --> 00:19:55,441
Hey stud, I'm off in ten.
406
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,120
We hitting your place or mine tonight?
407
00:19:57,122 --> 00:19:58,632
Let's do yours.
408
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,990
Yeah, Zooey and Thoby are together.
409
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,490
Thoby is just gay for pay.
410
00:20:03,490 --> 00:20:08,160
Which is a fucking shame because that cock is insane.
411
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,440
Hey listen, you boys may get him when you're onscreen.
412
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,610
But at home, he's mine mine mine.
413
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:16,170
You're a firecracker, babe.
414
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:18,850
She's okay with all this?
415
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,230
Well yeah, I mean,
416
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,070
you know how straight guys like to watch two girls go at it?
417
00:20:23,073 --> 00:20:25,743
Some girls like to watch guys together.
418
00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,240
Oh, it's such a turn-on.
419
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,490
My Thoby is so virile when he's boning another guy.
420
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,260
Yeah, Thoby's straight.
421
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:34,320
But don't worry though, Biff.
422
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,320
Jason and I are both gay as the day is long.
423
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:43,195
Okay, I'll leave you single gay guys to it.
424
00:20:45,406 --> 00:20:46,656
Want to make out, stud?
425
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,180
I got to pee, excuse me.
426
00:20:51,486 --> 00:20:52,486
Excuse me?
427
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,044
Come here.
428
00:21:01,014 --> 00:21:03,794
I just don't think I can go through with this man.
429
00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:05,430
Look, you don't have to do anything
430
00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:06,287
you don't want to do,
431
00:21:06,290 --> 00:21:09,570
but it would be really helpful to this investigation
432
00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:12,230
if you just man up and get in with these guys.
433
00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:13,787
Easy for you to say.
434
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:16,300
You're engaged to a transgender man.
435
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:19,440
You don't have to go sleep with two dudes, okay?
436
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,760
I've never done anything gay before.
437
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,390
Kevin, I already fucked the shit out of Clem.
438
00:21:24,393 --> 00:21:26,353
Don't be a pussy about this.
439
00:21:26,347 --> 00:21:28,427
Did you just call me a pussy
440
00:21:28,427 --> 00:21:31,157
for not wanting to get fucked by two dudes?
441
00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:35,365
What if they want booty stuff?
442
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,300
I've never--
443
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,940
Dude, just let them know you're a top.
444
00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:39,770
If they start blowing you,
445
00:21:39,773 --> 00:21:43,733
just close your eyes and think of Christine Baranski,
446
00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:46,720
and take your emergency viagra if you need it.
447
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,530
Take one for the team.
448
00:21:48,530 --> 00:21:50,060
Or two.
449
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:52,180
Look, I got to go propose to Rebecca.
450
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,010
Good luck.
451
00:22:02,209 --> 00:22:03,599
I couldn't help but overhear,
452
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,430
what with my ear pressed flat against the door and all,
453
00:22:06,430 --> 00:22:08,160
these are poppers.
454
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,620
Amyl nitrate.
455
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:13,340
It dilates your blood vessels, speeds up your heart
456
00:22:13,336 --> 00:22:15,806
and loosens your sphincter.
457
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:19,720
So you'll enjoy your first anal sex a lot more.
458
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,560
Especially if you're doing two guys for the first time.
459
00:22:27,108 --> 00:22:28,768
You keep these, I've got more at home.
460
00:22:28,766 --> 00:22:29,596
Godspeed.
461
00:22:35,915 --> 00:22:37,365
Okay studs, let's do this.
462
00:22:37,370 --> 00:22:38,560
Oh, right on.
463
00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:52,540
This is so nice.
464
00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:54,890
We haven't spent enough time together.
465
00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:56,240
Our jobs keep us so busy.
466
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,470
You know, I spend as much time as I can with you.
467
00:22:58,470 --> 00:22:59,530
I know.
468
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:02,820
And I'm proud to be dating a big fancy detective.
469
00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:05,790
And I'm proud of you for working at the old folks home.
470
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:09,480
Oh, St. Agnes isn't an old folks home.
471
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,170
It's an assisted living facility for the elderly
472
00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:13,450
and terminally ill.
473
00:23:13,450 --> 00:23:16,040
Oh, sure, sorry.
474
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,080
So I--
I want--
475
00:23:18,790 --> 00:23:19,670
You go first.
476
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,460
Well, how did the big case turn out?
477
00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:24,040
What are you working on now?
478
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:24,870
How was your day?
479
00:23:24,873 --> 00:23:26,473
I love you so much, tell me everything.
480
00:23:26,470 --> 00:23:30,040
Bbefore we do that, I'm going to get dessert.
481
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:31,965
Oh, dessert?
482
00:23:31,970 --> 00:23:34,770
Yeah, I picked up some cupcakes on the way home.
483
00:23:34,766 --> 00:23:37,936
Well I can't, I'm on a diet.
484
00:23:37,944 --> 00:23:40,174
But it's a special night.
485
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:41,330
It's our anniversary.
486
00:23:41,330 --> 00:23:43,750
I know, and I want it to be about us.
487
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,630
Not stupid sugar.
488
00:23:45,630 --> 00:23:46,650
Tell me about your day.
489
00:23:46,650 --> 00:23:48,910
I want to really connect with you.
490
00:23:48,913 --> 00:23:51,273
Kevin and I tied up that last case
491
00:23:51,270 --> 00:23:52,720
and we got assigned a new one.
492
00:23:52,715 --> 00:23:55,685
We're investigating some blackmailers.
493
00:23:55,690 --> 00:23:58,310
Ooh, that's so hot.
494
00:23:58,310 --> 00:24:00,120
What are you doing?
495
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,530
We're going undercover, baby.
496
00:24:01,531 --> 00:24:03,691
Oh yeah, as what?
497
00:24:03,694 --> 00:24:06,034
We're joining a gang of thieves.
498
00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:08,100
They all work at the same place.
499
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:09,300
We're going to infiltrate them.
500
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,890
You're so sexy.
501
00:24:10,890 --> 00:24:12,620
What do they do?
502
00:24:12,620 --> 00:24:13,800
What?
503
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,630
Where do they work?
504
00:24:14,633 --> 00:24:15,893
What do they do?
505
00:24:15,890 --> 00:24:18,590
Um, movies, they make movies.
506
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,930
And they're very energetic too.
507
00:24:21,934 --> 00:24:26,404
Wow, movie stars.
508
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:31,400
And you and Kevin are what, gaffers, key grips?
509
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:33,654
Best boys?
510
00:24:33,650 --> 00:24:36,450
Best boys, kind of.
511
00:24:36,450 --> 00:24:37,740
We're extras.
512
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:42,564
That's amazing.
513
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,300
You're going to be in the movie.
514
00:24:46,304 --> 00:24:48,334
What's it about?
515
00:24:48,332 --> 00:24:50,822
Sports, sports.
516
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:51,694
It's a sports movie.
517
00:24:51,694 --> 00:24:53,664
It's a film about a rugby team,
518
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,850
inter-team relations and team building.
519
00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:58,950
Like "Rudy", except with more locker room stuff.
520
00:24:58,953 --> 00:25:00,583
Oh wow.
521
00:25:01,614 --> 00:25:04,644
My boyfriend's a movie star.
522
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:09,640
Just like Tom Hardy or Tom Cruise
523
00:25:10,370 --> 00:25:13,440
or Tom Hanks.
524
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,500
I am so turned on right now.
525
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,110
Take me to bed.
526
00:25:17,110 --> 00:25:19,050
We should have our cupcakes first.
527
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:19,960
Screw dessert.
528
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,850
I want you to fuck me, Tommy.
529
00:25:25,282 --> 00:25:26,162
I mean Andy.
530
00:25:46,443 --> 00:25:49,453
Oh yes yes yes.
531
00:25:49,450 --> 00:25:50,740
Give it to me.
532
00:26:02,390 --> 00:26:04,000
So dude, how did it go?
533
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,320
I don't want to talk about it.
534
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,970
Understood, and I thank you for your sacrifice.
535
00:26:10,972 --> 00:26:12,502
Was it worth it?
536
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,150
Did you get any good information?
537
00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:16,890
Only one thing.
538
00:26:16,890 --> 00:26:19,430
After, after it was all over,
539
00:26:20,510 --> 00:26:22,350
I heard Jason and Clem
540
00:26:22,354 --> 00:26:23,824
talking about their plans for tonight.
541
00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:25,910
It sounded like the three of them have a new sting
542
00:26:25,910 --> 00:26:29,010
planned for immediately after this afternoon's shoot.
543
00:26:29,010 --> 00:26:31,830
Fuck, we've got to get in them with them right away.
544
00:26:31,830 --> 00:26:32,940
What do we do though?
545
00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,630
The three of them are so tight.
546
00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:36,790
I know they are.
547
00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:40,350
Okay, everyone.
548
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:44,810
So for today's shoot, we're gonna go a little artsy.
549
00:26:44,811 --> 00:26:48,471
I was inspired to make something political,
550
00:26:48,470 --> 00:26:50,450
something edgy,
551
00:26:50,450 --> 00:26:52,730
something that speaks to the heart of the darkness
552
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:55,570
that is 21st century America.
553
00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:59,114
Guess what the title is?
554
00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:01,330
Naughty Frat Sluts, volume 20.
555
00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:03,380
She has a way with words.
556
00:27:07,010 --> 00:27:09,800
So everyone except for Clem and our special guest star,
557
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,340
Nat Silver, is free for a half hour or so.
558
00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:14,020
There are cupcakes in the craft table.
559
00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:15,890
Fuck yeah cupcakes.
560
00:27:15,894 --> 00:27:18,444
Don't overdo it, Jason.
561
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,900
We're not shooting the cozy chubby porn until the fall.
562
00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:25,250
Do not fucking fat shame me, Hank.
563
00:27:33,970 --> 00:27:36,680
Okay so Pierre, start in tight on Nat's cock.
564
00:27:37,810 --> 00:27:39,850
Nat, drop trou for me, doll.
565
00:27:39,850 --> 00:27:40,680
Right.
566
00:27:45,570 --> 00:27:48,450
Gorgeous, we're so glad you could guest star.
567
00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:52,100
Now take your socks off, Nat.
568
00:27:52,102 --> 00:27:53,982
The socks stay.
569
00:27:53,980 --> 00:27:55,400
No, the socks go.
570
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,820
The socks stay or I walk in the socks.
571
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,270
So this is how it's gonna be.
572
00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:10,540
Fine, you win this round, Nat Silver,
573
00:28:11,210 --> 00:28:12,600
but just so you know,
574
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,200
the house always wins in the end
575
00:28:15,199 --> 00:28:17,759
and I am that house.
576
00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:36,330
Dude, what are we gonna do?
577
00:28:36,330 --> 00:28:38,120
We have to get in their gang.
578
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,840
Surely they trust us by now.
579
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,020
It's not about trust, they're a team.
580
00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:45,160
That's it.
581
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:45,990
What's it?
582
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,670
If we incapacitate one of them,
583
00:28:48,670 --> 00:28:50,130
they'll need to pick someone else,
584
00:28:50,130 --> 00:28:51,660
and we've ingratiated ourselves enough,
585
00:28:51,660 --> 00:28:54,190
that we'll be the first ones they think of.
586
00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,240
Incapacitate like how?
587
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,540
We'll hurt them somehow.
588
00:28:57,540 --> 00:28:59,710
Spring a leg, drop a sandbag.
589
00:28:59,710 --> 00:29:01,310
I don't want to hurt them.
590
00:29:01,309 --> 00:29:03,609
We've got to do something.
591
00:29:07,447 --> 00:29:09,117
I've got it, cupcakes.
592
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:15,880
Keep them distracted.
593
00:29:19,780 --> 00:29:21,820
Hey, what's up guys?
594
00:29:21,818 --> 00:29:23,448
Some day, huh?
595
00:29:23,450 --> 00:29:25,320
Yeah, it's nice to have some downtime
596
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,810
on these epic shoot days.
597
00:29:26,810 --> 00:29:28,830
Plus, I have Nat standing in for my usual dom role
598
00:29:28,830 --> 00:29:31,370
in this piece, so it's less stress on me.
599
00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:32,820
Yeah, what's that all about?
600
00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:35,020
Are there like stunts or something in this one?
601
00:29:35,016 --> 00:29:37,606
No Pinata just needs some rimming in a later scene,
602
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,620
and I don't take my pants off, you know?
603
00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:41,020
It's in my contract.
604
00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:43,400
Just whip the dick out, that's all you got.
605
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,980
It adds to Thoby's mystery.
606
00:29:45,980 --> 00:29:47,110
Fascinating.
607
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:48,140
Hey, what's that all about man?
608
00:29:48,140 --> 00:29:49,830
You don't want to show your bod?
609
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:54,830
Oh no, it is too much for mortal eyes to behold.
610
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,260
No, it's just skinnier than I'd like.
611
00:29:57,260 --> 00:29:58,850
Nobody needs to see that.
612
00:29:58,850 --> 00:30:01,400
I'm gonna eat one of these cupcakes.
613
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,400
Oh, these are fancy.
614
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:05,520
You're up, Jason.
615
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,450
Pinata needs you to start rimming Nat in the next scene.
616
00:30:08,447 --> 00:30:10,537
Fine.
617
00:30:11,490 --> 00:30:12,790
I'll save you a cupcake.
618
00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:20,198
Ah fuck yeah!
619
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,070
There you go, there you go.
620
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:23,220
Take it, bitch.
621
00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:24,280
Yeah, ohh!
622
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,976
Ah yeah, fuck!
623
00:30:27,980 --> 00:30:29,220
Hey, hey.
624
00:30:30,310 --> 00:30:31,730
There's something wrong with Thoby,
625
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:32,560
Huh?
626
00:30:32,563 --> 00:30:33,933
What's going on?
627
00:30:33,930 --> 00:30:36,010
We're filming here.
628
00:30:36,010 --> 00:30:37,120
Thoby is really sick.
629
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,440
We have to get him to the hospital.
630
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,270
Oh no!
631
00:30:39,273 --> 00:30:40,933
Fuck, I was almost there.
632
00:30:40,930 --> 00:30:43,690
Cut, cut everyone.
633
00:30:43,687 --> 00:30:45,747
Well, where is he?
634
00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:47,640
Well, he's in the bathroom barfing.
635
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,830
I think it was the cupcakes, I threw them out.
636
00:30:49,830 --> 00:30:51,290
Oh sacre bleu!
637
00:30:51,290 --> 00:30:54,010
I always say no sugar on set.
638
00:30:54,010 --> 00:30:55,610
Why does no one listen?
639
00:30:55,607 --> 00:30:58,867
It's almost like you're purposefully ignoring me.
640
00:30:58,870 --> 00:31:01,190
Everyone, calm down.
641
00:31:01,190 --> 00:31:03,760
Hank, go call an ambulance.
642
00:31:05,180 --> 00:31:07,550
We'll just have to recast Thoby's part then.
643
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:10,800
Well Chad, you can do it, right?
644
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,230
Yes ma'am.
645
00:31:13,230 --> 00:31:15,150
Don't you want to put some clothes on, Nat?
646
00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:16,600
No, I'm good.
647
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,500
I figure I'm just gonna have to take them off again later.
648
00:31:18,497 --> 00:31:21,407
A little distracting, that's all.
649
00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:26,240
Whoa, whoa guys.
650
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,290
Can we stop discouraging Nat?
651
00:31:29,290 --> 00:31:34,290
Okay, he has his own actor's process.
652
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,640
Great, Hank?
653
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,170
Oh, he's calling the ambulance.
654
00:31:39,167 --> 00:31:41,367
I'll do it myself.
655
00:31:41,370 --> 00:31:44,940
Here are the pages.
656
00:31:44,938 --> 00:31:46,608
Yeah, there's not much dialogue.
657
00:31:46,610 --> 00:31:48,860
You'll just be fucking Nat in the orgy scene.
658
00:31:48,858 --> 00:31:51,798
Looking forward to it.
659
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,120
Okay, I called 9-1-1.
660
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,350
I think Thoby is going to be okay.
661
00:31:56,350 --> 00:31:58,760
He barfed up most of the cupcake.
662
00:31:58,756 --> 00:32:02,446
I think he should go to the hospital anyways to be safe.
663
00:32:02,450 --> 00:32:03,900
Great.
664
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:08,900
Okay, now let's all take a deep breath and hold hands.
665
00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:12,560
Gather round.
666
00:32:13,650 --> 00:32:16,720
Let's take a moment of silent prayer for Thoby.
667
00:32:21,210 --> 00:32:24,860
And then, after the ambulance comes,
668
00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:27,930
we can just get on with the rimming and sucking threesome.
669
00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:28,760
Right?
670
00:32:30,870 --> 00:32:35,870
Dear God, it's your favorite Jewish son, Nat Silver.
671
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,930
As is customary, I will first thank you
672
00:32:37,930 --> 00:32:39,790
for the slammin' penis.
673
00:32:39,790 --> 00:32:41,710
You're the tops in my book.
674
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:46,430
Next, please look after our friend, Thoby.
675
00:32:46,430 --> 00:32:49,750
He is hurting and needs your help
676
00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:51,160
and not the kind of help where you ask someone
677
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,630
to go up a mountain and kill their only child
678
00:32:52,630 --> 00:32:54,250
just to prove their love for you.
679
00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:56,550
Dude, no offense, but that's just fucked up.
680
00:32:56,550 --> 00:32:58,560
I won't even go into the whole pillar of salt thing.
681
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,090
You must've been tripping balls that day.
682
00:33:01,087 --> 00:33:05,277
Now I know you're probably sad
683
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:09,240
that we're shooting this porn on Shabbat,
684
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,100
but fuck it, Lord.
685
00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:12,260
We all have student loans to pay
686
00:33:12,260 --> 00:33:14,900
and those interest rates are breaking our balls, Lord.
687
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:17,940
Now I know Nelmet and Great Lakes
688
00:33:17,940 --> 00:33:20,960
and Discover Student Loan Servicing are tests, Lord.
689
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,470
They are your gauntlets, but damn it,
690
00:33:22,470 --> 00:33:23,740
we need that dumb son of a bitch alive
691
00:33:23,736 --> 00:33:25,836
and we need his tuchus,
692
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,740
his beautiful goyem tuchus,
693
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:31,570
full of hopes and promises,
694
00:33:31,568 --> 00:33:35,068
rage, rage against the dying of the light.
695
00:33:35,068 --> 00:33:37,078
Thank you, Lord.
696
00:33:37,079 --> 00:33:37,909
Thank you.
697
00:33:39,055 --> 00:33:40,485
Thank you.
698
00:33:40,490 --> 00:33:44,110
And please Lord, look after my mother.
699
00:33:44,110 --> 00:33:47,710
She is a beautiful yenta.
700
00:33:50,196 --> 00:33:51,546
I'm gonna make her proud.
701
00:33:54,335 --> 00:33:55,355
I'm gonna make her proud.
702
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,190
Amen.
703
00:33:58,070 --> 00:34:00,920
Okay everyone, seeing as how we have a little extra time,
704
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,010
I figured we'd shoot a sexy fun film parody.
705
00:34:04,010 --> 00:34:07,580
This movie will be a parody of "Aladdin".
706
00:34:07,580 --> 00:34:09,140
Oh no.
707
00:34:09,140 --> 00:34:10,520
What?
708
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,910
We'll get sued if we use the word Aladdin.
709
00:34:12,910 --> 00:34:13,750
No we won't.
710
00:34:13,750 --> 00:34:14,860
Yes, we will.
711
00:34:14,860 --> 00:34:17,780
Remember when you did that Game of Dongs parody?
712
00:34:17,780 --> 00:34:19,900
We almost lost everything.
713
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:22,440
Why are you arguing with me?
714
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,960
Is this about last night?
715
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,490
Oh, this is about last night, isn't it?
716
00:34:25,490 --> 00:34:26,890
I don't want to get into this with you
717
00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:28,160
in front of everyone.
718
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,840
Hold on, we can't say the word Aladdin
719
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,080
without getting sued?
720
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,000
There's an old show business saying.
721
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,220
Fuck with the mouse, lose your house.
722
00:34:37,220 --> 00:34:39,370
Could they say it en francais?
723
00:34:39,370 --> 00:34:42,690
Everything sounds so much sexier en francais.
724
00:34:42,690 --> 00:34:44,840
No, no, no.
725
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,540
I got it, we'll just call it "Arabian Nights".
726
00:34:47,540 --> 00:34:50,130
Nope, that's copyrighted as well.
727
00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:53,370
Okay look, I took a viagra for this scene, all right?
728
00:34:53,370 --> 00:34:55,730
Those things last for four hours.
729
00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:57,690
Not six, not five,
730
00:34:57,690 --> 00:34:59,600
four hours.
731
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,140
So can we please get with the fucking,
732
00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:04,540
while I still have my rage boner?
733
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:26,710
What the hell, man?
734
00:36:26,713 --> 00:36:28,133
You just got fucked by Jason.
735
00:36:28,130 --> 00:36:29,680
What, you think I don't know that?
736
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:30,940
I couldn't get it up.
737
00:36:30,940 --> 00:36:32,600
Damn Rebecca and her sensual appetites.
738
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,310
I'm not made of stone.
739
00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:35,850
Did it hurt?
740
00:36:35,852 --> 00:36:37,162
Yeah, a little.
741
00:36:37,155 --> 00:36:39,125
But I'm a man, I can take it.
742
00:36:39,130 --> 00:36:42,330
But after a while, it felt good.
743
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:45,150
I don't know, I guess Jason knows how to hit a prostrate.
744
00:36:45,150 --> 00:36:46,150
Prostate.
745
00:36:46,150 --> 00:36:47,100
Whatever.
746
00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:48,520
I wouldn't want to do it again,
747
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,990
but I certainly wouldn't want to take a dick in the mouth,
748
00:36:51,990 --> 00:36:54,340
but it didn't feel bad.
749
00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:57,660
Hey, nice work today, Chad,
750
00:36:57,660 --> 00:37:00,680
You can really take a dick and then keep on ticking.
751
00:37:00,675 --> 00:37:03,715
And nice work to you too, Biff.
752
00:37:03,723 --> 00:37:06,573
I really hope to work with you guys again sometime.
753
00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:12,225
Ah, that's my ride.
754
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,660
Well, catch you guys later.
755
00:37:18,260 --> 00:37:19,810
That guy's nuts.
756
00:37:19,810 --> 00:37:21,740
Yeah, and the rest of him.
757
00:37:23,070 --> 00:37:24,460
No, no I--
758
00:37:26,780 --> 00:37:28,860
So I spoke with the nurse at the hospital.
759
00:37:28,860 --> 00:37:30,510
They said Thoby is going to be fine,
760
00:37:30,510 --> 00:37:32,350
but not in time for the gig tonight.
761
00:37:32,350 --> 00:37:33,730
Damn it.
762
00:37:33,730 --> 00:37:34,710
What are we going to do?
763
00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:37,070
I don't know, we could cancel.
764
00:37:37,065 --> 00:37:39,725
Cancel, I've been stringing this guy along for weeks
765
00:37:39,730 --> 00:37:40,560
setting this up.
766
00:37:40,563 --> 00:37:42,433
It's got to be tonight.
767
00:37:42,430 --> 00:37:43,840
Who can we trust?
768
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,660
One of the new guys, Chad or Biff?
769
00:37:46,660 --> 00:37:48,240
They're good.
770
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,020
Biff's a little stiff sometimes.
771
00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:52,910
But Chad was going all the way with you today.
772
00:37:52,910 --> 00:37:55,600
He seems like he's up for anything.
773
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,320
Or down for anything.
774
00:37:58,315 --> 00:38:00,425
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
775
00:38:00,430 --> 00:38:01,840
I've been intimate enough with him
776
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,380
that I think we can trust him,
777
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:05,940
but we have to keep the stash location a secret.
778
00:38:05,940 --> 00:38:08,600
Sure, I mean it's tattooed on Thoby's butt anyway,
779
00:38:08,597 --> 00:38:09,757
and he's not coming with us.
780
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,600
All right, great.
781
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,360
I'll invite Chad along to us tonight.
782
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,450
But do you think--
783
00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:15,280
Pay days!
784
00:38:16,950 --> 00:38:17,930
Here you are.
785
00:38:19,814 --> 00:38:20,804
There you go, boys.
786
00:38:22,286 --> 00:38:23,116
Did you hear that?
787
00:38:23,119 --> 00:38:24,109
The location all the loot is at,
788
00:38:24,110 --> 00:38:25,970
is tattooed on Thoby's butt.
789
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:27,530
That's why he won't drop trou.
790
00:38:27,530 --> 00:38:28,840
Exactly.
791
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,850
Okay, you're gonna need to find Thoby
792
00:38:31,850 --> 00:38:34,270
and do some ass reconnaissance.
793
00:38:34,265 --> 00:38:35,775
How do I get his pants off?
794
00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:37,430
Dude, do what you have to.
795
00:38:37,430 --> 00:38:40,460
Pants him, strip him, seduce him.
796
00:38:40,460 --> 00:38:42,440
Seduce him, he's straight.
797
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,750
So are you.
798
00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:45,800
Look, if there's anything I've learned from this experience,
799
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:46,690
that it's hard to say no to anything
800
00:38:46,690 --> 00:38:48,450
when you got a hard dick.
801
00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:51,980
Slip on your emergency viagra and see what happens.
802
00:38:51,980 --> 00:38:55,340
It's not emergency viagra, if you keep using it, you know.
803
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,110
Sup, hey Chad, can we talk?
804
00:39:12,260 --> 00:39:14,660
So you just want me to video what goes down?
805
00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:15,520
Yeah.
806
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,020
You know, Clem and I will take care of the heavy lifting.
807
00:39:18,020 --> 00:39:20,970
I mean, if you want to join in, you're more than welcome to,
808
00:39:20,970 --> 00:39:24,690
but most of these guys are pretty ugly.
809
00:39:24,690 --> 00:39:26,740
This one's kind of a silver fox, I think.
810
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:29,720
Okay Clem honey, we do not have the need nor the time
811
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:31,300
to go over your daddy issues again.
812
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:32,220
What can I say?
813
00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:35,630
I'm attracted to powerful men who might want to spank me.
814
00:39:35,625 --> 00:39:37,665
Spank you?
815
00:39:37,670 --> 00:39:40,140
For my own good.
816
00:39:40,140 --> 00:39:42,170
Yeah well, I hear this one wants to get spanked
817
00:39:42,170 --> 00:39:43,300
his own self.
818
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:44,610
I have to spank him?
819
00:39:45,994 --> 00:39:50,994
Oh, I hate a waste of a perfectly good older man archetype.
820
00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:52,080
I just--
821
00:39:52,083 --> 00:39:53,203
Okay, all right.
822
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,750
Well anyway Chad, you'll be doing some sexy stripping
823
00:39:56,750 --> 00:39:58,930
while Clem and I do the real seducing.
824
00:39:58,930 --> 00:40:00,670
And then when I give you the signal,
825
00:40:00,670 --> 00:40:02,430
whip out the video camera.
826
00:40:02,430 --> 00:40:03,260
All right, hold on.
827
00:40:03,263 --> 00:40:04,263
We're actually here.
828
00:40:05,650 --> 00:40:06,480
What the?
829
00:40:06,483 --> 00:40:07,733
Oh yeah, we got to make a quick stop
830
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:09,010
before we hit the gig.
831
00:40:09,010 --> 00:40:10,360
Why here?
832
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:11,400
You know the place?
833
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,210
Yes, I saw it on the news or something I guess.
834
00:40:14,210 --> 00:40:15,800
Oh yeah, human interest.
835
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,280
This place is real heartwarming and shit.
836
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,730
Hey, watch your mouth.
837
00:40:19,733 --> 00:40:20,893
How's my hair?
838
00:40:20,894 --> 00:40:23,364
You look like an angel.
839
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:27,140
We do not have time for this.
840
00:40:33,170 --> 00:40:35,370
Hello, can I help?
841
00:40:35,370 --> 00:40:37,160
Oh Stanley.
842
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,760
This is unexpected.
843
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,270
Hello, Sister Dympnha.
844
00:40:40,270 --> 00:40:42,110
I was hoping to see Clarence if I could.
845
00:40:42,110 --> 00:40:46,470
Well, it's a little late, past visiting hours,
846
00:40:46,470 --> 00:40:49,970
but I know you work odd hours as a,
847
00:40:49,970 --> 00:40:51,720
what is it you do again?
848
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,690
Utility pole technician.
849
00:40:53,692 --> 00:40:56,562
Yes, of course.
850
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,790
I'll go get Clarence and see if we can get you
851
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:00,790
some private time.
852
00:41:01,770 --> 00:41:03,450
You and your friends can wait here.
853
00:41:13,441 --> 00:41:16,101
So who's Clarence?
854
00:41:16,101 --> 00:41:18,441
Jason's grandfather.
855
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,460
He's the only family he's got in this world.
856
00:41:21,462 --> 00:41:24,322
Jason's parents were killed in a car wreck
857
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,820
when he was just a kid.
858
00:41:25,820 --> 00:41:29,370
So Clarence raised him as if he were his own son.
859
00:41:30,210 --> 00:41:32,300
His wife had passed away years ago.
860
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:36,940
So it was a struggle, but he did it.
861
00:41:36,940 --> 00:41:38,440
He loves that boy to death.
862
00:41:41,422 --> 00:41:42,822
Gramps.
863
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,550
Then about a year ago,
864
00:41:48,550 --> 00:41:50,810
Clarence started to get really sick.
865
00:41:50,810 --> 00:41:53,710
Jason was giving all of his money to keep him here
866
00:41:53,710 --> 00:41:55,860
so he could be in good care.
867
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,260
He couldn't afford food, a haircut.
868
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:01,790
Hell, we nearly had to launch a gofundme
869
00:42:01,785 --> 00:42:04,155
just to get him deodorant.
870
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,060
That's why we started our side hustle.
871
00:42:08,254 --> 00:42:10,754
That's, that's really sweet.
872
00:42:12,595 --> 00:42:14,765
So is Jason.
873
00:42:14,774 --> 00:42:17,204
I've never met anyone like him.
874
00:42:18,230 --> 00:42:21,360
He's going to make someone a great husband someday.
875
00:42:22,885 --> 00:42:25,685
I thought you two were--
876
00:42:25,686 --> 00:42:30,686
No no, I may be a lot of things to a lot of people,
877
00:42:31,010 --> 00:42:33,840
but husband material, I am not.
878
00:42:48,390 --> 00:42:49,220
Hey!
879
00:42:54,946 --> 00:42:57,476
That's it, easy does it.
880
00:42:57,483 --> 00:42:58,493
Nice and slow.
881
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,740
Thanks for coming again, Zooey.
882
00:43:01,740 --> 00:43:02,800
I really appreciate it.
883
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:03,660
Don't worry about it, Boo.
884
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:05,840
I got Sarah to pick up my shift
885
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,410
and I had to come when I heard you were sick.
886
00:43:08,410 --> 00:43:09,240
Thanks bro.
887
00:43:15,375 --> 00:43:16,205
Ooh.
888
00:43:16,208 --> 00:43:17,038
You okay?
889
00:43:17,041 --> 00:43:18,211
You need to get back into bed.
890
00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:20,980
Maybe back in bed with you.
891
00:43:28,540 --> 00:43:31,280
Listen, I want to fuck you too if you're feeling better,
892
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,170
but I'm not doing it in a hospital.
893
00:43:33,170 --> 00:43:34,130
Once I saw this movie
894
00:43:34,130 --> 00:43:36,310
where this guy and girl were boning in a hospital room
895
00:43:36,310 --> 00:43:38,950
and then these ghosts started coming out of blood bags
896
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:39,780
and possessing them.
897
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:41,553
And then they died of too much fucking.
898
00:43:41,550 --> 00:43:43,260
That's just a movie, babe.
899
00:43:43,260 --> 00:43:45,490
So's "Jaws", but sharks are real too.
900
00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:46,939
What?
901
00:43:46,940 --> 00:43:50,440
Listen, you like these?
902
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:51,510
Yeah.
903
00:43:51,510 --> 00:43:54,720
They want you, they hunger for you to taste them.
904
00:43:54,717 --> 00:43:55,547
Oh yeah.
905
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:56,750
But you're not getting them
906
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:59,090
until we get out of this spooky ass hospital room.
907
00:43:59,090 --> 00:44:02,070
Uh fine.
908
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:05,240
But the good news is, you can have all you want
909
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,790
when we get back to your place.
910
00:44:08,140 --> 00:44:10,040
Can we do your place?
911
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,170
I had to fire the maid.
912
00:44:11,170 --> 00:44:12,820
She was drinking on the job again.
913
00:44:12,820 --> 00:44:16,390
I'll humor you because you've been sick.
914
00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:18,290
Fine, my place.
915
00:44:18,290 --> 00:44:19,820
Now get your clothes on and let's get out of here
916
00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:21,340
before the blood ghosts get us.
917
00:44:21,340 --> 00:44:22,170
Okay.
918
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,910
Oh hey look, it's one of the new guys.
919
00:44:36,910 --> 00:44:38,760
Hey Biff, what's up dude?
920
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:39,810
You came to check up on me?
921
00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:42,040
Thanks a lot, man, I really appreciate that.
922
00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:45,210
Yeah, all the other guys had a gig,
923
00:44:45,210 --> 00:44:47,710
so they sent me to check up on you.
924
00:44:47,710 --> 00:44:49,720
Well, we can't ignore the gigs.
925
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,690
It's our real bread and butter.
926
00:44:51,692 --> 00:44:54,702
So is everything okay?
927
00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:56,770
You got your pants on.
928
00:44:56,772 --> 00:44:59,452
Yeah, the doctor gave me a clean bill of health
929
00:44:59,450 --> 00:45:01,800
and I feel like there must have been something strange
930
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,470
in that cupcake I had though.
931
00:45:03,470 --> 00:45:05,070
Was I the only one that got sick?
932
00:45:05,070 --> 00:45:06,720
Yeah, only one.
933
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:09,490
Huh well, that's good to hear.
934
00:45:09,490 --> 00:45:10,640
Zooey and I are going to get out of here,
935
00:45:10,639 --> 00:45:12,149
head home and knock boots.
936
00:45:12,150 --> 00:45:13,770
But thanks again for coming, man.
937
00:45:13,770 --> 00:45:14,800
I really appreciate it.
938
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,420
It's the little things that mean a lot.
939
00:45:17,418 --> 00:45:19,268
I just, yeah.
940
00:45:21,030 --> 00:45:22,280
What is it, Biff?
941
00:45:23,710 --> 00:45:24,910
Yeah Biff, what is it?
942
00:45:26,370 --> 00:45:27,420
Come on, spit it out.
943
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,040
I love you.
944
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:35,150
I want to have sex with you.
945
00:45:35,148 --> 00:45:40,148
Ah, that is so sweet.
946
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:41,900
Sweet?
947
00:45:41,898 --> 00:45:45,288
My man is so hot, he turns everybody's head.
948
00:45:45,290 --> 00:45:46,560
Don't you, baby?
949
00:45:48,813 --> 00:45:51,563
I do get a lot of proposals.
950
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,510
He is what I like to call man pretty.
951
00:45:55,416 --> 00:45:56,746
I get it.
952
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:58,430
You know, I'm hard to resist.
953
00:45:58,430 --> 00:46:02,540
With the hair, the eyes, the beer can cock,
954
00:46:02,538 --> 00:46:04,478
but yeah, I got a lot going on
955
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,140
and it's easy to get distracted, yeah.
956
00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:08,320
I'm mostly straight.
957
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,710
Though I might fuck dudes on camera,
958
00:46:09,711 --> 00:46:11,931
I try to save my cock for the lady.
959
00:46:11,930 --> 00:46:13,390
And I love it.
960
00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:17,280
She does, but you've been so nice.
961
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,800
You know, and coming to visit me in the hospital,
962
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,200
I feel like we can throw you a bone.
963
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,200
Are you totally gay?
964
00:46:24,321 --> 00:46:26,011
What do you mean?
965
00:46:26,010 --> 00:46:28,250
What I mean is, if you want to come home
966
00:46:28,250 --> 00:46:30,430
and have a threesome with Zooey and I,
967
00:46:30,430 --> 00:46:31,800
I think we'd both be into it.
968
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:32,630
Right precious?
969
00:46:32,633 --> 00:46:35,753
Thoby, you're so good to me.
970
00:46:35,751 --> 00:46:38,021
You mean I get to have you both?
971
00:46:38,020 --> 00:46:41,290
If Biff's not too gay for it.
972
00:46:41,290 --> 00:46:42,390
What do you say, Biff?
973
00:46:43,252 --> 00:46:46,422
You come home, help me pleasure my girlfriend
974
00:46:46,420 --> 00:46:49,930
and in return, I'll let you suck my cock while she watches.
975
00:46:49,930 --> 00:46:50,760
Sound good?
976
00:46:54,750 --> 00:46:55,870
Yeah.
977
00:46:55,870 --> 00:46:57,410
Perfect, now let's get out of here
978
00:46:57,410 --> 00:46:59,730
before the blood ghosts show up.
979
00:46:59,732 --> 00:47:00,572
What?
980
00:47:12,090 --> 00:47:14,540
Dude, bored.
981
00:47:16,050 --> 00:47:18,250
I'm gonna go for a walk, I'll be right back.
982
00:47:23,550 --> 00:47:24,380
Andy?
983
00:47:25,339 --> 00:47:29,069
Andy, what are you doing here?
984
00:47:29,070 --> 00:47:31,190
Did you come to visit me at work?
985
00:47:31,190 --> 00:47:32,450
That's right, I missed you.
986
00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,300
And I wanted to see you.
987
00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:36,850
That is so sweet.
988
00:47:36,850 --> 00:47:39,480
What did I do to deserve a guy like you?
989
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,880
Ooh, just lucky I guess.
990
00:47:41,881 --> 00:47:46,791
Hey, let's say we go find a room and make out.
991
00:47:46,790 --> 00:47:48,190
I can't.
992
00:47:48,190 --> 00:47:50,020
But I want to tell you about the movie I'm in.
993
00:47:50,018 --> 00:47:52,468
Oh, that's right.
994
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:55,130
The, the movie.
995
00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:01,060
I forgot I'm dating an actor.
996
00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:03,640
Oh my God, that's so sexy.
997
00:48:04,650 --> 00:48:09,350
Look, let's go find a room.
998
00:48:10,810 --> 00:48:11,890
My office.
999
00:48:30,210 --> 00:48:32,010
Make yourselves comfortable, boys.
1000
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:36,760
I'm gonna grab a beer, babe.
1001
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:37,590
You want one?
1002
00:48:37,593 --> 00:48:38,433
You know it.
1003
00:48:38,426 --> 00:48:39,346
Beer, Biff?
1004
00:48:39,350 --> 00:48:40,180
Thanks.
1005
00:48:44,305 --> 00:48:47,945
Now Biff, don't be scared.
1006
00:48:47,950 --> 00:48:49,250
I'm not gonna hurt you.
1007
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,890
I'm not scared.
1008
00:48:51,890 --> 00:48:54,980
That's my brave little soldier.
1009
00:48:56,690 --> 00:48:59,260
You are very handsome.
1010
00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:01,340
Has a girl ever told you that before?
1011
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,850
Don't terrify the gay boy too much, babe.
1012
00:49:16,850 --> 00:49:19,330
Oh, I'm just having a little fun.
1013
00:49:19,330 --> 00:49:22,110
You're not really scared, are you Biff?
1014
00:49:22,110 --> 00:49:22,940
No.
1015
00:49:23,980 --> 00:49:26,830
It's sweet kissing girls, isn't it?
1016
00:49:26,830 --> 00:49:29,180
We have such soft lips.
1017
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:35,960
Yeah.
1018
00:49:36,900 --> 00:49:39,300
Oh, you're not jealous of him, are you Pookie?
1019
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,200
No, we both know why he's here.
1020
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,180
What he really wants,
1021
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,210
is this.
1022
00:49:49,210 --> 00:49:50,040
Yeah.
1023
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,630
Oh look, he's scared.
1024
00:49:52,630 --> 00:49:54,970
Can't even look at it in the eye.
1025
00:49:54,967 --> 00:49:57,907
Oh go on, Biff, give it a little taste.
1026
00:50:40,972 --> 00:50:43,392
Oh yes, yes, give it to me.
1027
00:50:44,340 --> 00:50:46,340
Marilyn Monroe.
1028
00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:47,840
Oh, I'm in a movie.
1029
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,550
A sexy, sexy movie.
1030
00:50:50,551 --> 00:50:52,231
The Seven Year--
1031
00:50:52,230 --> 00:50:54,100
Oh fuck.
1032
00:50:54,100 --> 00:50:58,540
Gentlemen prefer, oh God.
1033
00:50:58,540 --> 00:51:00,610
I'm on a movie set.
1034
00:51:00,610 --> 00:51:03,140
My skirt is blowing up.
1035
00:51:03,140 --> 00:51:05,940
We're doing it in front of everyone.
1036
00:51:05,940 --> 00:51:09,510
Everyone watching us, filming it.
1037
00:51:09,510 --> 00:51:12,870
Oh God, I have to play my part.
1038
00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:14,930
I have to be your slut.
1039
00:51:14,929 --> 00:51:17,099
Oh, give it to me, Brando.
1040
00:51:22,098 --> 00:51:24,918
Yes yes, I'm Meryl Streep,
1041
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,240
the greatest actress of our age.
1042
00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:31,990
Getting real, going deep inside the actors studio.
1043
00:51:33,028 --> 00:51:36,918
Oh God, I'm in "Postcards from the Edge".
1044
00:51:36,923 --> 00:51:38,443
I'm in "The Hours".
1045
00:51:38,439 --> 00:51:40,749
I'm an actress, no.
1046
00:51:40,746 --> 00:51:43,016
I'm a seagull, no.
1047
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:44,270
I'm an actress.
1048
00:51:46,908 --> 00:51:49,048
Ugh, are you okay?
1049
00:51:49,050 --> 00:51:51,480
Shut up and give it to me, Pierce Brosnan.
1050
00:51:51,479 --> 00:51:53,259
Oh, Mamma Mia.
1051
00:51:55,483 --> 00:51:58,853
Give us a little show, babe, a little booty dance.
1052
00:51:58,850 --> 00:52:02,150
Yeah, I want to see those cakes.
1053
00:52:02,147 --> 00:52:03,477
I don't know.
1054
00:52:03,479 --> 00:52:04,819
Dance, baby.
1055
00:52:04,820 --> 00:52:06,900
Shake what your daddy gave you.
1056
00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:08,660
All right, if you insist.
1057
00:52:12,748 --> 00:52:13,828
Ooh yeah.
1058
00:52:13,830 --> 00:52:15,440
Yes, stud.
1059
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,030
Give it to me.
1060
00:52:18,028 --> 00:52:21,258
You, get up there and dance with him.
1061
00:52:21,260 --> 00:52:22,130
Really?
1062
00:52:22,130 --> 00:52:24,760
Go on, get that man.
1063
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:26,710
Guy on guy is so hot.
1064
00:52:34,930 --> 00:52:37,950
Take your shirts off, beefcakes.
1065
00:52:50,060 --> 00:52:51,310
Oh fuck yeah.
1066
00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:55,280
I'm Sandra Bullock.
1067
00:52:56,347 --> 00:52:59,077
"The Blind Side", "Hope Floats",
1068
00:53:01,399 --> 00:53:02,399
Hope floats.
1069
00:53:04,449 --> 00:53:06,199
What is all the ruckus?
1070
00:53:06,199 --> 00:53:07,919
Sister Dympnha!
1071
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,320
Jesus, Mary and Joseph in Tinseltown.
1072
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,740
What in the name of Christ?
1073
00:53:14,687 --> 00:53:17,577
You know, I bet Zooey would enjoy this a lot more
1074
00:53:17,580 --> 00:53:20,180
if we took our pants off.
1075
00:53:20,180 --> 00:53:21,790
You're a smart man, Biff.
1076
00:53:21,790 --> 00:53:23,690
Oh fuck yes.
1077
00:53:23,690 --> 00:53:25,870
You guys are so hot.
1078
00:53:31,921 --> 00:53:32,751
Whoo!
1079
00:53:35,930 --> 00:53:39,000
Fuck yes, take him.
1080
00:54:11,570 --> 00:54:12,940
What happened to you in there?
1081
00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:14,700
Oh, I got laid.
1082
00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:16,160
Nice, wait.
1083
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:19,160
I thought you were monogamous with your transgender fiance.
1084
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,600
Oh yeah, they work here.
1085
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:22,780
Not one of the nuns.
1086
00:54:22,780 --> 00:54:24,060
No.
1087
00:54:24,060 --> 00:54:25,230
I don't know any guys who--
1088
00:54:25,230 --> 00:54:26,850
Come on.
1089
00:54:26,850 --> 00:54:28,470
Hey, I gotta take a piss first.
1090
00:54:28,470 --> 00:54:30,010
Whatever, just hurry up, man.
1091
00:54:30,010 --> 00:54:31,560
We've got a senator to scam.
1092
00:54:32,420 --> 00:54:33,900
Oh man!
1093
00:54:40,140 --> 00:54:40,970
Come on.
1094
00:54:45,161 --> 00:54:48,441
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
1095
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,840
Oh God, it's amazing.
1096
00:54:50,841 --> 00:54:53,291
Like that, bitch?
1097
00:54:53,289 --> 00:54:54,839
Oh yeah.
1098
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:56,670
Oh God, oh God.
1099
00:54:56,670 --> 00:54:57,660
I was talking to Zooey.
1100
00:54:57,659 --> 00:54:59,569
Yeah, of course you were.
1101
00:55:06,262 --> 00:55:07,902
Yeah, that's it.
1102
00:55:07,902 --> 00:55:09,752
Stop talking and kiss me some more.
1103
00:55:12,252 --> 00:55:15,322
Kevin look, if you get this,
1104
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,250
we're going to 129 Main.
1105
00:55:17,252 --> 00:55:19,942
I just found out some crazy shit about Jason.
1106
00:55:19,940 --> 00:55:21,950
He's like a noble guy and shit.
1107
00:55:21,950 --> 00:55:23,240
He's like Robin Hood.
1108
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:24,360
Works some kind of--
1109
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:25,800
Hurry up, Chad.
1110
00:55:25,801 --> 00:55:27,471
Look, I got to go.
1111
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,350
What's going on with Clem?
1112
00:55:44,353 --> 00:55:46,713
Clem likes to hype himself up
1113
00:55:46,710 --> 00:55:48,210
by listening to dramatic music
1114
00:55:48,210 --> 00:55:49,490
before each gig.
1115
00:55:49,492 --> 00:55:54,492
♪ Oh the Wells Fargo wagon is a comin' down ♪
1116
00:55:56,850 --> 00:55:58,380
Hey Chad, don't worry.
1117
00:55:58,380 --> 00:56:01,630
All right, we do this all the time.
1118
00:56:01,630 --> 00:56:03,140
It's like acting,
1119
00:56:03,140 --> 00:56:04,460
I'm not worried.
1120
00:56:04,460 --> 00:56:07,510
No, you seem tense.
1121
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,670
You know, it's just another way for us to use our bodies
1122
00:56:11,670 --> 00:56:13,500
to get what we want.
1123
00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:16,170
I know you're new to porn, but you'll learn.
1124
00:56:17,209 --> 00:56:18,799
I don't know if I want to learn.
1125
00:56:21,930 --> 00:56:26,420
Why, you've already gone so deep?
1126
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,160
It would be a shame to pull out now.
1127
00:56:30,430 --> 00:56:31,380
What do you mean?
1128
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:37,760
I just mean that working in porn is like
1129
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,470
being a coal miner.
1130
00:56:40,470 --> 00:56:44,840
You know, we torture our bodies
1131
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,360
in the service of a greater good,
1132
00:56:48,430 --> 00:56:53,200
like coal miners, but we sacrifice for what we want,
1133
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,410
what we need and a surprising amount of us
1134
00:56:56,410 --> 00:56:57,950
come from Pennsylvania.
1135
00:56:57,949 --> 00:56:59,649
Yeah, I understand.
1136
00:56:59,650 --> 00:57:00,500
Your grandfather.
1137
00:57:02,900 --> 00:57:04,250
Clem told you.
1138
00:57:04,249 --> 00:57:07,849
Yeah, he seems very important to you.
1139
00:57:07,849 --> 00:57:12,819
Yeah, you know he doesn't have a lot of time left.
1140
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,360
And neither one of us wants him wasting his life
1141
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:17,970
in that nursing home.
1142
00:57:17,970 --> 00:57:20,210
Staring out a window, just waiting.
1143
00:57:20,210 --> 00:57:21,610
You'd do anything for him.
1144
00:57:22,860 --> 00:57:24,500
He did everything for me.
1145
00:57:30,740 --> 00:57:32,250
You still seem nervous.
1146
00:57:33,340 --> 00:57:34,170
Nope.
1147
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:40,760
Maybe you're a little nervous because you're a cop
1148
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,270
and you don't want to go on this big adventure.
1149
00:57:44,609 --> 00:57:45,589
What, what are you talking about?
1150
00:57:45,590 --> 00:57:48,070
Hey it's okay, relax.
1151
00:57:48,070 --> 00:57:49,780
Clem doesn't know yet,
1152
00:57:50,728 --> 00:57:54,058
but I'm friends with Rebecca at the nursing home.
1153
00:57:54,060 --> 00:57:56,190
I saw the two of you go off together.
1154
00:57:56,190 --> 00:57:59,630
I remember her talking about her cop of a boyfriend.
1155
00:57:59,630 --> 00:58:02,220
Pieces just kind of fell into place.
1156
00:58:02,220 --> 00:58:04,030
Honestly, I'm just surprised to find out that she's
1157
00:58:04,029 --> 00:58:06,499
or he's transgender.
1158
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,070
She's not transgender.
1159
00:58:08,070 --> 00:58:09,900
More lies.
1160
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,970
Ah, CIS are at it again.
1161
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:16,410
You know, I met a straight wedding planner the other day.
1162
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,590
Can't we have anything?
1163
00:58:19,809 --> 00:58:21,489
Are you gonna expose me?
1164
00:58:21,490 --> 00:58:24,790
I'm pretty sure you've exposed yourself already.
1165
00:58:24,790 --> 00:58:26,000
Several times.
1166
00:58:27,020 --> 00:58:28,840
Honestly, that's how I was starting to think
1167
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:29,780
I could trust you.
1168
00:58:31,190 --> 00:58:32,020
You trust me.
1169
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,560
I'm starting to.
1170
00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:36,420
But look, Chad,
1171
00:58:36,418 --> 00:58:41,418
first off, Chad is not your real name, right?
1172
00:58:41,670 --> 00:58:45,620
I mean, nobody is actually called Chad, are they?
1173
00:58:45,620 --> 00:58:47,520
My uncle's named Chad.
1174
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,230
What is your name?
1175
00:58:49,228 --> 00:58:53,018
Andy, it's Andy.
1176
00:58:54,330 --> 00:58:55,160
Andy.
1177
00:58:56,950 --> 00:58:59,400
That is not nearly as sexy as I was hoping.
1178
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,390
Well excuse me, Stanley.
1179
00:59:01,390 --> 00:59:02,440
Oh, touche.
1180
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:08,760
So Andy, you're a cop and you're mostly straight.
1181
00:59:09,290 --> 00:59:11,670
I mean straight enough to have a cisgender girlfriend.
1182
00:59:11,670 --> 00:59:12,980
Fiance.
1183
00:59:12,980 --> 00:59:15,360
Okay, but you have been using your body
1184
00:59:15,356 --> 00:59:20,326
to get what you want for the greater good, right?
1185
00:59:21,550 --> 00:59:22,620
I guess so.
1186
00:59:23,490 --> 00:59:25,240
And I'm guessing that your big buddy, Biff,
1187
00:59:25,236 --> 00:59:27,456
is also an undercover cop.
1188
00:59:27,460 --> 00:59:29,740
Listen, I'm not gonna ask you to expose him.
1189
00:59:29,740 --> 00:59:31,930
Okay, actually gives you plausible deniability
1190
00:59:31,930 --> 00:59:33,680
if you come out on the gig tonight.
1191
00:59:34,580 --> 00:59:36,960
You still want me along?
1192
00:59:37,860 --> 00:59:40,680
Possibly, Clem and I still need a third.
1193
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:42,440
Thoby is out of commission.
1194
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,720
And you were planning on helping out tonight anyway, right?
1195
00:59:46,590 --> 00:59:48,210
Right.
1196
00:59:48,209 --> 00:59:53,149
And you kind of like this, don't you?
1197
00:59:53,150 --> 00:59:55,560
I mean, it is the most exciting part of your life
1198
00:59:55,558 --> 00:59:59,508
and you kind of want to be me, don't you?
1199
01:00:01,678 --> 01:00:02,668
Kinda.
1200
01:00:54,162 --> 01:00:55,002
Oh shit.
1201
01:00:56,070 --> 01:00:58,070
What the hell was that?
1202
01:00:58,072 --> 01:01:00,212
Ugh, so bright.
1203
01:01:05,830 --> 01:01:06,890
I don't know, guys.
1204
01:01:06,890 --> 01:01:08,090
Lightning I think.
1205
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:12,120
It looks like it's going to rain, I should go.
1206
01:01:12,123 --> 01:01:12,963
Okay.
1207
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:22,960
Shit, shit, shit.
1208
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:27,910
Shit.
1209
01:01:36,367 --> 01:01:39,257
129 Main Street, that's only a few blocks away.
1210
01:01:41,110 --> 01:01:42,720
Do I even have my wallet?
1211
01:01:45,839 --> 01:01:48,399
Never even used these.
1212
01:01:48,397 --> 01:01:50,957
Huh, guess I'll have to try them next time.
1213
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,450
Not that there will be a next time.
1214
01:02:08,270 --> 01:02:09,850
Thank you Senator Hansen.
1215
01:02:09,850 --> 01:02:13,020
Please, there's no need to stand on formalities.
1216
01:02:13,020 --> 01:02:14,820
And honestly, I'd rather you didn't.
1217
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:19,180
You may call me the Scarlet Pimpernel.
1218
01:02:19,176 --> 01:02:23,766
Well, it's a lovely place you have here.
1219
01:02:23,770 --> 01:02:25,830
Oh, foolish child.
1220
01:02:25,830 --> 01:02:29,540
I would never allow someone of your carnal profession
1221
01:02:29,540 --> 01:02:31,540
into my own estate.
1222
01:02:31,538 --> 01:02:33,688
Well then who lives here?
1223
01:02:33,690 --> 01:02:34,520
Mother.
1224
01:02:35,740 --> 01:02:37,540
She lets me have the run of the place
1225
01:02:37,540 --> 01:02:40,730
while she's out of town, helping build the wall.
1226
01:02:40,730 --> 01:02:43,730
83 years old and nobody lays brick like her.
1227
01:02:43,728 --> 01:02:48,348
Well, nobody lays pipe like me,
1228
01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:50,387
Oh ho ho, such wit.
1229
01:02:51,330 --> 01:02:52,160
Champagne?
1230
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:57,110
Oh, I'm sorry, are you boys old enough to drink?
1231
01:02:57,108 --> 01:02:58,898
I am.
1232
01:02:58,897 --> 01:03:00,337
We are.
1233
01:03:00,340 --> 01:03:02,780
Pity, help yourself.
1234
01:03:03,930 --> 01:03:05,530
I'm afraid we have very little time
1235
01:03:05,530 --> 01:03:07,500
for pre-party, Pimpernel.
1236
01:03:07,500 --> 01:03:09,220
I get no kick from champagne.
1237
01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:12,450
Oh, I love Cole Porter.
1238
01:03:12,449 --> 01:03:14,749
Cupcakes then?
1239
01:03:18,170 --> 01:03:20,110
No, thank you.
1240
01:03:21,060 --> 01:03:22,310
Very well.
1241
01:03:22,310 --> 01:03:26,390
Although I do think we ignore the romance of the situation
1242
01:03:26,390 --> 01:03:27,580
at our peril.
1243
01:03:27,580 --> 01:03:29,920
We may as well get down to brass tacks.
1244
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:32,500
Your $4,000 is on the table there.
1245
01:03:32,498 --> 01:03:36,218
You may begin disrobing my fine young gentlemen.
1246
01:03:37,100 --> 01:03:38,490
As you wish.
1247
01:03:38,488 --> 01:03:41,898
I got to go pee first.
1248
01:03:41,900 --> 01:03:44,120
Oh certainly my boy.
1249
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,410
Right down the hall on the left.
1250
01:03:55,510 --> 01:03:58,150
Well, about time you tracked these guys down.
1251
01:03:58,148 --> 01:04:01,288
Chief Zannini, what's going on?
1252
01:04:01,290 --> 01:04:05,800
Rick, T.J., what's going on here?
1253
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,480
This is a sting operation.
1254
01:04:07,479 --> 01:04:09,369
You and Kevin aren't the only ones we've had
1255
01:04:09,370 --> 01:04:10,670
working on this case.
1256
01:04:10,670 --> 01:04:14,140
We've had another informant on the inside the whole time.
1257
01:04:18,810 --> 01:04:21,060
Do you mean, that me and Kevin have been doing this
1258
01:04:21,060 --> 01:04:22,320
for nothing?
1259
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:23,430
Do you realize what we did?
1260
01:04:23,430 --> 01:04:26,020
What we had done to us?
1261
01:04:26,020 --> 01:04:27,250
Oh, we know.
1262
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:28,850
We saw the tapes.
1263
01:04:28,847 --> 01:04:31,087
Nice ass, bucko.
1264
01:04:35,277 --> 01:04:37,067
A sexpot is what he is.
1265
01:04:37,073 --> 01:04:39,533
A gay sexpot.
1266
01:04:39,530 --> 01:04:41,970
The most hilarious kind.
1267
01:04:41,970 --> 01:04:43,660
Now that I know you like anal,
1268
01:04:43,660 --> 01:04:46,090
you'll be more fun in the precinct showers.
1269
01:04:46,090 --> 01:04:47,420
Guys, I don't like it.
1270
01:04:47,420 --> 01:04:49,390
I'm just sacrificing my body for the job
1271
01:04:49,390 --> 01:04:51,470
for the greater good, like a coal miner.
1272
01:04:51,470 --> 01:04:54,630
You're being a thirsty cockslut is the greater good.
1273
01:04:55,730 --> 01:04:56,910
I think.
1274
01:04:56,910 --> 01:04:58,210
Kevin too.
1275
01:04:58,210 --> 01:05:01,470
He's got a fine little ass for a slutty gay dude.
1276
01:05:01,467 --> 01:05:03,817
Guys, I'm not at all--
1277
01:05:03,820 --> 01:05:04,820
Quiet boys.
1278
01:05:04,820 --> 01:05:06,380
And quit your whining.
1279
01:05:06,380 --> 01:05:08,930
Andy, while you and Kevin were busy dicking around,
1280
01:05:08,927 --> 01:05:10,397
Literally.
1281
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:12,820
Yes, that was the joke.
1282
01:05:12,820 --> 01:05:14,240
While you two were busy dicking around,
1283
01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:17,020
we had to close this case by any means necessary.
1284
01:05:17,020 --> 01:05:18,900
It's our job as police to protect
1285
01:05:18,900 --> 01:05:20,380
and support the government.
1286
01:05:20,380 --> 01:05:22,420
I don't believe it.
1287
01:05:22,420 --> 01:05:23,830
You'd better believe it.
1288
01:05:23,830 --> 01:05:25,930
Now you're gonna have to get one of those other guys
1289
01:05:25,930 --> 01:05:26,760
to film.
1290
01:05:26,763 --> 01:05:28,163
Otherwise we're only going to be able to bust them
1291
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:30,640
on prostitution, not blackmail.
1292
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:32,350
Okay.
1293
01:05:32,353 --> 01:05:33,193
You better get out there
1294
01:05:33,186 --> 01:05:35,226
before Jason and Clem get suspicious.
1295
01:05:35,229 --> 01:05:40,229
Yes, yes, this is perfect.
1296
01:05:41,330 --> 01:05:44,140
Do tell me, what are you thinking?
1297
01:05:44,140 --> 01:05:47,730
What's going on in your minds while you dance?
1298
01:05:47,730 --> 01:05:52,090
Well, "Godspell", "Cats" and "Hair"
1299
01:05:52,087 --> 01:05:55,147
all have the same basic structure.
1300
01:05:55,150 --> 01:05:57,770
They are all musical reviews on a theme.
1301
01:05:57,770 --> 01:06:00,450
Given the barest semblance of plot
1302
01:06:00,450 --> 01:06:02,580
by having someone die at the end.
1303
01:06:02,578 --> 01:06:05,698
And I am not thinking about anything.
1304
01:06:05,696 --> 01:06:09,306
And your little friend is back.
1305
01:06:09,310 --> 01:06:13,490
How nice we have the whole trio together again.
1306
01:06:14,620 --> 01:06:15,720
Take off your clothes.
1307
01:07:35,590 --> 01:07:38,440
You ready to get kinky, Scarlet?
1308
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,570
No, you know just what I like.
1309
01:07:41,570 --> 01:07:44,020
Please show no restraint in your restraints.
1310
01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:45,040
How do you want me, boys.
1311
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:46,050
Face down or up?
1312
01:07:46,050 --> 01:07:47,360
Down bitch.
1313
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:48,790
Yes, sir.
1314
01:07:58,130 --> 01:07:59,400
You start shooting.
1315
01:07:59,398 --> 01:08:01,798
You take the camera.
1316
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,230
I'll get his feet.
1317
01:08:03,230 --> 01:08:05,300
You are really into this, aren't you?
1318
01:08:05,298 --> 01:08:06,998
Well, what can I say?
1319
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,910
I know what this fucker voted against.
1320
01:08:09,949 --> 01:08:10,779
Oh.
1321
01:08:18,879 --> 01:08:20,349
Ooh, spankings.
1322
01:08:20,347 --> 01:08:21,177
Oh, such fun.
1323
01:08:21,180 --> 01:08:24,640
Ooh, reminds me of my time in skull and bones.
1324
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:26,090
Quiet, pig.
1325
01:08:26,090 --> 01:08:28,180
Smile for the camera, Senator Hansen.
1326
01:08:28,180 --> 01:08:29,430
Wait, what?
1327
01:08:29,430 --> 01:08:30,940
You have cameras?
1328
01:08:30,940 --> 01:08:33,210
This rendezvous was supposed to be entre nous.
1329
01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,890
Yeah, we've got cameras
1330
01:08:34,890 --> 01:08:36,920
and we'll be broadcasting your shame and humiliation
1331
01:08:36,918 --> 01:08:38,548
to the entire country.
1332
01:08:38,549 --> 01:08:41,279
Unless you comply with our demands.
1333
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:43,290
How do you think your conservative constituents will feel
1334
01:08:43,290 --> 01:08:44,480
when they see you like this?
1335
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:46,130
No, you can't.
1336
01:08:46,130 --> 01:08:48,590
You mustn't, you shouldn't.
1337
01:08:48,590 --> 01:08:50,350
What do you want, you monsters?
1338
01:08:50,350 --> 01:08:52,270
First, more spankings.
1339
01:08:53,707 --> 01:08:54,827
Yes, I mean, no.
1340
01:08:54,830 --> 01:08:56,290
I'll give you whatever you want.
1341
01:08:56,290 --> 01:08:57,790
No more spankings.
1342
01:08:57,789 --> 01:09:00,529
No, more spankings.
1343
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:02,750
What can you offer us, Senator?
1344
01:09:02,750 --> 01:09:03,580
Jewels.
1345
01:09:05,310 --> 01:09:07,470
Furs, what do you want?
1346
01:09:07,470 --> 01:09:10,020
Cold hard cash always does it for me.
1347
01:09:10,018 --> 01:09:12,308
You know, you'd think I'd learn.
1348
01:09:13,298 --> 01:09:16,978
Freeze, you blackmailing homos.
1349
01:09:16,978 --> 01:09:18,138
Whoo!
1350
01:09:18,138 --> 01:09:20,768
Holy shit, a bust.
1351
01:09:20,770 --> 01:09:22,710
Andy, you set us up?
1352
01:09:22,709 --> 01:09:25,289
Kind of, not really on purpose.
1353
01:09:25,290 --> 01:09:28,040
What the fuck is this, consorting with the enemy?
1354
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,440
Yeah, he's been consorting all right.
1355
01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:32,910
Get your over ass over here.
1356
01:09:32,908 --> 01:09:36,028
And keep your pants off, slut.
1357
01:09:36,027 --> 01:09:37,607
Who the fuck is Andy?
1358
01:09:37,610 --> 01:09:40,600
Our friend over here is actually an undercover cop.
1359
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,160
I thought we had an arrangement,
1360
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,610
but apparently he wants to sleep above the covers.
1361
01:09:44,610 --> 01:09:45,810
Metaphorically.
1362
01:09:45,810 --> 01:09:47,920
It's like you said, Jason, it's all acting.
1363
01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:50,170
I'm not as different as much as you pretend.
1364
01:09:50,170 --> 01:09:52,850
Could someone untie me please?
1365
01:09:53,678 --> 01:09:55,068
Shut up, Scarlet.
1366
01:09:55,070 --> 01:09:56,840
This isn't about you.
1367
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:58,990
But this is about you.
1368
01:09:58,990 --> 01:10:00,260
Get them, boys.
1369
01:10:03,690 --> 01:10:05,710
Not so fast, my little copper tops.
1370
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,030
You!
1371
01:10:10,870 --> 01:10:13,650
It's me, Piñata Debris.
1372
01:10:13,650 --> 01:10:15,630
And I sting like a bee.
1373
01:10:18,890 --> 01:10:21,610
Pierre, we have a score to settle.
1374
01:10:23,654 --> 01:10:28,314
I have nothing to declare, except my genius.
1375
01:10:28,308 --> 01:10:33,098
There was never any doubt, mon amour.
1376
01:10:33,100 --> 01:10:37,870
But this betrayal, why?
1377
01:10:40,329 --> 01:10:42,209
What did you expect?
1378
01:10:42,210 --> 01:10:45,490
Life is like the flame of a lamp.
1379
01:10:45,490 --> 01:10:48,060
When there is no more oil, it goes out.
1380
01:10:49,090 --> 01:10:50,760
And it is all finis.
1381
01:10:51,980 --> 01:10:54,840
Oh dear, I knew you were a genius.
1382
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:57,170
But I never suspected that you were a nihilist.
1383
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,630
But of course, I am French.
1384
01:11:00,580 --> 01:11:01,410
Oh oui.
1385
01:11:05,330 --> 01:11:08,000
Let me bind your wrists.
1386
01:11:12,541 --> 01:11:15,141
I don't understand what's going on.
1387
01:11:15,137 --> 01:11:16,517
Pinata has been in charge of
1388
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:19,430
all of our extracurricular gigs we've been doing.
1389
01:11:19,431 --> 01:11:21,861
That's right, Chad.
1390
01:11:21,860 --> 01:11:24,400
We got word about your sting operation tonight
1391
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:27,800
and Hank and I decided to jump in and sting back.
1392
01:11:28,700 --> 01:11:30,590
His name ain't Chad, it's Andy.
1393
01:11:30,589 --> 01:11:32,989
Well, who doesn't have a nom de scene?
1394
01:11:32,990 --> 01:11:35,380
No, it's not his poor name.
1395
01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,340
He's an undercover cop.
1396
01:11:37,340 --> 01:11:39,720
He's been working with these rancid pigs.
1397
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:40,920
Rancid!
1398
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:44,490
I will kill you, you pornographic slotbucket.
1399
01:11:44,490 --> 01:11:46,690
I don't think so.
1400
01:11:50,930 --> 01:11:53,160
I have you right where I want you.
1401
01:11:54,830 --> 01:11:57,280
Okay, tie everyone up and put them in bed
1402
01:11:57,280 --> 01:11:58,740
with Senator Hansen.
1403
01:11:58,740 --> 01:12:00,970
Meanwhile, we'll head out with the cash
1404
01:12:00,970 --> 01:12:03,060
and we can blackmail these twerps later.
1405
01:12:03,058 --> 01:12:05,648
Can we strip them first?
1406
01:12:05,650 --> 01:12:08,100
The cute ones, sure.
1407
01:12:08,100 --> 01:12:10,570
Don't you fucking try to strip me.
1408
01:12:10,570 --> 01:12:14,460
Girl please, I said the cute ones.
1409
01:12:14,461 --> 01:12:15,461
Ooh, burn.
1410
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:25,320
But Pierre, oh my sweet, sweet Pierre.
1411
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:31,000
I shall miss your cinematography skills.
1412
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,280
You really had a great eye.
1413
01:12:52,580 --> 01:12:55,110
Strip him, boys.
1414
01:13:00,220 --> 01:13:01,760
Everybody freeze, this is a bust.
1415
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:03,170
Triple sting.
1416
01:13:03,168 --> 01:13:08,168
Oh, I think I have the wrong house.
1417
01:13:09,740 --> 01:13:11,500
Don't mind me, I'll just be going.
1418
01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:14,580
I don't think so, Biff.
1419
01:13:14,581 --> 01:13:18,471
Okay, so if Chad is actually really Andy,
1420
01:13:18,470 --> 01:13:21,420
then what's your real name?
1421
01:13:24,060 --> 01:13:26,500
Kevin, Kevin.
1422
01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:28,050
And you work for this sour
1423
01:13:28,050 --> 01:13:30,950
milkface of a police chief as well?
1424
01:13:30,950 --> 01:13:32,210
Hey!
1425
01:13:32,210 --> 01:13:33,120
They were working without us.
1426
01:13:33,123 --> 01:13:34,833
Joanne and the other guys,
1427
01:13:34,830 --> 01:13:36,050
they set up this sting operation.
1428
01:13:36,050 --> 01:13:38,180
I had no idea it was happening until I got here.
1429
01:13:38,180 --> 01:13:41,750
Is that Rick and T.J. on the couch, being pantsed?
1430
01:13:42,650 --> 01:13:45,050
Yeah, and they're being total assholes.
1431
01:13:45,050 --> 01:13:46,940
They set us up just to have all kinds of gay sex
1432
01:13:46,938 --> 01:13:48,468
for their entertainment.
1433
01:13:48,470 --> 01:13:50,710
While they did the real police work.
1434
01:13:50,710 --> 01:13:52,240
That's awful.
1435
01:13:52,240 --> 01:13:53,450
Sons of bitches.
1436
01:13:55,050 --> 01:13:57,620
So Pinata, what should we do with these traitors?
1437
01:13:58,770 --> 01:14:01,400
Well, I think they've been tortured enough.
1438
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:03,660
Why don't we just go down to the bar
1439
01:14:03,660 --> 01:14:05,780
and we'll figure everything out?
1440
01:14:05,778 --> 01:14:07,408
You boys almost done?
1441
01:14:07,410 --> 01:14:12,370
I will find you and I will have my revenge.
1442
01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:16,570
Gag me with a spoon.
1443
01:14:16,570 --> 01:14:18,110
Ooh, that's a good idea.
1444
01:14:18,110 --> 01:14:18,940
Gag her.
1445
01:14:18,943 --> 01:14:19,903
With a spoon?
1446
01:14:19,900 --> 01:14:21,170
No.
1447
01:14:21,168 --> 01:14:22,248
Andy, look.
1448
01:14:24,637 --> 01:14:29,127
Yeah, that's a picture of an ass.
1449
01:14:29,130 --> 01:14:30,870
That's Thoby's ass.
1450
01:14:30,870 --> 01:14:32,470
I have a map to their stash.
1451
01:14:32,466 --> 01:14:33,816
Let me see.
1452
01:14:35,010 --> 01:14:38,940
Oh, that's St. Agnes of course.
1453
01:14:38,940 --> 01:14:40,580
Isn't that where your fiance works?
1454
01:14:40,580 --> 01:14:41,870
Yeah.
1455
01:14:41,870 --> 01:14:43,350
I've already been there with Jason
1456
01:14:43,347 --> 01:14:45,547
and I know where they've stashed everything.
1457
01:14:46,460 --> 01:14:49,800
Hey, hey that's great.
1458
01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:50,940
We can still pull this out.
1459
01:14:50,940 --> 01:14:52,650
We can still be heroes.
1460
01:14:52,650 --> 01:14:54,650
Yeah, of course.
1461
01:15:00,858 --> 01:15:02,328
Oh, you got my call.
1462
01:15:02,330 --> 01:15:04,030
Are these my new scene partners?
1463
01:15:05,950 --> 01:15:07,740
Absolutely.
1464
01:15:13,480 --> 01:15:14,700
Well that was the final amount of money
1465
01:15:14,700 --> 01:15:16,750
that I need to leave porn.
1466
01:15:16,750 --> 01:15:20,400
Jason Waterfalls is hanging up the jockstrap.
1467
01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:22,200
I'm gonna head over to St. Agnes right away
1468
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:23,800
and bust Gramps out.
1469
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:24,850
St. Agnes?
1470
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:27,430
I'm going to start a new life.
1471
01:15:27,430 --> 01:15:30,390
Don't go, Jason Waterfalls.
1472
01:15:30,390 --> 01:15:32,770
How long have you been waiting to say that?
1473
01:15:33,930 --> 01:15:37,400
Far far too long.
1474
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:40,720
Now all I need is to find a man to be my husband.
1475
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:43,590
Oh Jason, you'll find someone.
1476
01:15:43,590 --> 01:15:47,000
Oh, I know.
1477
01:15:49,810 --> 01:15:51,490
So I got to go.
1478
01:15:51,487 --> 01:15:54,057
Yeah yeah, me too.
1479
01:15:55,260 --> 01:16:00,260
Well, you boys have certainly caused us some trouble,
1480
01:16:00,410 --> 01:16:04,850
but I guess in the long run, there's no harm done.
1481
01:16:04,847 --> 01:16:08,377
Just don't breathe a word of what you know to anyone
1482
01:16:08,380 --> 01:16:11,230
and we won't have to kill you.
1483
01:16:11,230 --> 01:16:12,060
Kill us?
1484
01:16:18,290 --> 01:16:20,240
You think this is a fucking game.
1485
01:16:22,442 --> 01:16:23,942
I will kill you.
1486
01:16:24,860 --> 01:16:27,020
I will kill you dead.
1487
01:16:27,020 --> 01:16:30,610
I'll use pliers and bleach and sandpaper and shit.
1488
01:16:30,610 --> 01:16:33,210
And no one will even be able to identify your bodies
1489
01:16:33,210 --> 01:16:34,750
when I get through with you.
1490
01:16:34,750 --> 01:16:39,040
Don't fuck with Piñata Debris, boys.
1491
01:16:40,480 --> 01:16:43,330
You'll regret it.
1492
01:16:43,325 --> 01:16:44,155
Toodles.
1493
01:16:49,295 --> 01:16:53,205
Okay if I'm right, the rooms are just through there.
1494
01:16:53,210 --> 01:16:54,460
So you go around front,
1495
01:16:54,460 --> 01:16:56,730
introduce yourself as a friend of Stanley's
1496
01:16:56,730 --> 01:16:58,870
and keep the nuns in charge occupied.
1497
01:16:58,874 --> 01:17:00,334
Who's Stanley?
1498
01:17:00,330 --> 01:17:01,520
No one, it's a code.
1499
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:04,520
It's like a friend of Dorothy or a friend of Bill W.
1500
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:06,940
Just tell them that something's happened to Stanley
1501
01:17:06,935 --> 01:17:08,085
and you need to ask them some questions.
1502
01:17:08,090 --> 01:17:09,710
Show your badge.
1503
01:17:09,710 --> 01:17:11,680
How can something have happened to Stanley
1504
01:17:11,680 --> 01:17:13,490
if he's not even a real person?
1505
01:17:13,490 --> 01:17:16,670
He is a real person like Dorothy Parker or Bill Waterston.
1506
01:17:16,670 --> 01:17:17,720
He's just not here.
1507
01:17:18,740 --> 01:17:19,570
Never mind.
1508
01:17:20,986 --> 01:17:22,666
The point is just do the usual reconnaissance thing.
1509
01:17:22,670 --> 01:17:24,550
Like you're trying to track down a missing person
1510
01:17:24,546 --> 01:17:25,946
and it's Stanley.
1511
01:17:25,954 --> 01:17:28,694
So Stanley's not here because he's missing.
1512
01:17:29,930 --> 01:17:32,150
Yeah sure, go with that.
1513
01:17:33,310 --> 01:17:34,140
Okay.
1514
01:17:35,135 --> 01:17:36,715
Okay, and while the nuns are distracted,
1515
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:38,670
I'll sneak in, find Clarence's bed
1516
01:17:38,670 --> 01:17:40,830
and the stash of stuff hidden under it.
1517
01:17:40,830 --> 01:17:43,110
Dude, don't you think it'll be a little weird
1518
01:17:43,110 --> 01:17:44,710
going through some old dude's bed?
1519
01:17:44,714 --> 01:17:46,814
Look, don't make me think about it.
1520
01:17:46,810 --> 01:17:49,320
You insisted on this and we've got work to do.
1521
01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:50,660
Okay, now break.
1522
01:18:07,834 --> 01:18:10,174
Hello, can we help you?
1523
01:18:10,173 --> 01:18:12,473
Yes, I'm a friend of Stanley
1524
01:18:12,470 --> 01:18:14,480
and I'm here with the police.
1525
01:18:14,480 --> 01:18:15,680
The police?
1526
01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,410
Oh my, has something happened?
1527
01:18:17,410 --> 01:18:19,910
Yes, I'm afraid Zooey's gone missing.
1528
01:18:19,910 --> 01:18:23,030
Angels and ministers of grace defend us.
1529
01:18:23,030 --> 01:18:26,010
Hamlet, Act One Scene Four.
1530
01:18:26,005 --> 01:18:28,625
So I'll need to ask you some questions.
1531
01:18:28,630 --> 01:18:30,500
Yes, of course of course.
1532
01:18:30,500 --> 01:18:32,070
Please come in.
1533
01:18:32,070 --> 01:18:34,170
But first we'll do a strip search.
1534
01:18:34,165 --> 01:18:36,085
Strip search?
1535
01:18:36,090 --> 01:18:37,710
I'm afraid so.
1536
01:18:37,710 --> 01:18:40,400
We've really tightened up security these days.
1537
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:42,550
I'm sure you've read about it in the papers.
1538
01:18:42,550 --> 01:18:45,050
Well sure, that's really necessary?
1539
01:18:45,050 --> 01:18:48,140
Officer, if there's anyone you can trust,
1540
01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:50,410
it's nuns like us.
1541
01:18:50,410 --> 01:18:53,000
Sister Margaretta will take care of you.
1542
01:18:52,996 --> 01:18:54,536
Okay.
1543
01:19:16,700 --> 01:19:20,100
Speaking of cops and robbers,
1544
01:19:21,480 --> 01:19:23,230
what are you doing here, Andy?
1545
01:19:26,665 --> 01:19:28,655
Haven't you figured that out?
1546
01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:29,810
I want you to say it.
1547
01:19:32,030 --> 01:19:35,160
I'm here to collect evidence for my investigation.
1548
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:38,400
You are here to rob me.
1549
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:40,300
Cops and robbers.
1550
01:19:41,255 --> 01:19:42,615
I guess you could say that.
1551
01:19:42,620 --> 01:19:45,020
How could you do this, Andy?
1552
01:19:45,017 --> 01:19:46,927
Don't you know what I've worked for?
1553
01:19:46,930 --> 01:19:49,070
Everything I'm trying to achieve.
1554
01:19:50,025 --> 01:19:54,335
I loved my time in porn, but it's time to move on.
1555
01:19:54,338 --> 01:19:57,508
Be a grown-up, be a man.
1556
01:19:58,940 --> 01:20:00,970
I've been taking care of my responsibilities.
1557
01:20:00,970 --> 01:20:03,890
And now I can finally give my grandfather his dying wish.
1558
01:20:03,890 --> 01:20:06,730
And you want to ruin all that?
1559
01:20:06,733 --> 01:20:09,013
I don't want to, it's my job.
1560
01:20:09,010 --> 01:20:09,970
Is it?
1561
01:20:09,970 --> 01:20:11,630
My job is on the line here.
1562
01:20:11,630 --> 01:20:13,540
If I go back with nothing to show from all this,
1563
01:20:13,540 --> 01:20:15,960
but some crazy stories and a penchant for sodomy,
1564
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:17,300
I'm finished.
1565
01:20:17,300 --> 01:20:19,020
Then why go back?
1566
01:20:19,020 --> 01:20:19,850
What?
1567
01:20:20,906 --> 01:20:24,016
Why go back?
1568
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:28,170
I'm heading out to another city,
1569
01:20:28,170 --> 01:20:32,470
another town someplace where Gramps and I will be safe.
1570
01:20:32,466 --> 01:20:35,116
You can come with us.
1571
01:20:35,120 --> 01:20:37,290
With you, why?
1572
01:20:39,796 --> 01:20:43,256
Because I've been looking for a partner
1573
01:20:43,258 --> 01:20:47,598
and you, you're beautiful.
1574
01:20:49,540 --> 01:20:51,710
And maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think
1575
01:20:51,710 --> 01:20:53,730
you would hate being my boyfriend all that much.
1576
01:20:53,730 --> 01:20:56,940
Boyfriend, you really have to use that word.
1577
01:20:56,940 --> 01:20:58,620
We can stick with partner for a while.
1578
01:20:58,620 --> 01:21:00,700
If it makes you feel more butch.
1579
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:03,620
But I think you'd come around.
1580
01:21:04,703 --> 01:21:06,383
No, no, no, I can't.
1581
01:21:06,380 --> 01:21:08,430
I'm a cop, I have, I have to go.
1582
01:21:08,426 --> 01:21:10,446
Kiss me.
1583
01:21:10,453 --> 01:21:12,483
I have to tell them what's going on here.
1584
01:21:12,480 --> 01:21:14,290
Right here, kiss me.
1585
01:21:15,210 --> 01:21:16,330
I shouldn't.
1586
01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:18,240
Kiss me.
1587
01:21:20,670 --> 01:21:23,290
Andy, that is your name, isn't it?
1588
01:21:23,290 --> 01:21:24,120
Yes sir.
1589
01:21:24,123 --> 01:21:27,023
Well, it looks like you've got a possibly
1590
01:21:27,020 --> 01:21:29,310
life-changing decision to make.
1591
01:21:29,307 --> 01:21:30,767
And I get it.
1592
01:21:30,767 --> 01:21:34,697
You're scared you might make the wrong choice.
1593
01:21:34,698 --> 01:21:37,358
And so I'm here to help you make the right one.
1594
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:41,140
Now, be a good man and start with the smooching.
1595
01:22:03,716 --> 01:22:06,336
So what happens now?
1596
01:22:06,340 --> 01:22:07,170
I don't know.
1597
01:22:08,770 --> 01:22:11,880
We don't have to worry about money, for a bit at least.
1598
01:22:13,620 --> 01:22:15,180
Gramps does have a bucket list.
1599
01:22:44,786 --> 01:22:49,446
The nominees for the best LGBTQ Video of the Year are,
1600
01:22:51,407 --> 01:22:55,597
"The Prince and the Pauper", Bleeding Unicorn Productions.
1601
01:22:55,597 --> 01:22:59,977
"Who's Afraid of Vagina", Kettle of Fish Productions.
1602
01:22:59,980 --> 01:23:04,980
And finally, "The Triple Sting", Candy Reign Productions.
1603
01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:11,500
And the winner of the best LGBTQ Video of the Year goes to,
1604
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:16,950
goes to,
1605
01:23:19,810 --> 01:23:20,920
envelope, please.
1606
01:23:29,837 --> 01:23:33,477
"The Triple Sting", Candy Reign Productions.
1607
01:23:33,476 --> 01:23:35,316
I knew it, yes.
1608
01:23:35,316 --> 01:23:36,596
Oh come to mama.
1609
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:38,220
Candy Reign Productions has been nominated
1610
01:23:38,220 --> 01:23:39,390
three times previously,
1611
01:23:39,390 --> 01:23:42,270
for "Three Blowjobs Outside Cumming Mississippi",
1612
01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:46,437
"On Golden Dong" and "The Ass Menagerie".
1613
01:23:46,440 --> 01:23:48,920
This is their first win.
1614
01:24:00,700 --> 01:24:02,340
This is incredible.
1615
01:24:04,250 --> 01:24:09,250
I, I am honored and I am so touched
1616
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:13,280
that you love my work so much.
1617
01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:14,730
Sorry.
1618
01:24:14,730 --> 01:24:16,650
I promised myself I wouldn't fake cry,
1619
01:24:16,650 --> 01:24:18,100
but it's happening right now.
1620
01:24:19,410 --> 01:24:23,700
I want to dedicate this award to my colleagues,
1621
01:24:23,698 --> 01:24:26,728
our amazing cinematographer, Clem.
1622
01:24:30,101 --> 01:24:31,791
And of course our star.
1623
01:24:32,780 --> 01:24:35,140
For those of you who were watching earlier,
1624
01:24:35,140 --> 01:24:37,960
you saw him get the Best Newcomer Award
1625
01:24:37,960 --> 01:24:39,010
earlier this evening.
1626
01:24:40,358 --> 01:24:42,058
Biff Wellington.
1627
01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:51,645
Thank you, thank you so much.
1628
01:24:54,100 --> 01:24:57,750
I guess you could say that it was meant to Debris.
1629
01:25:00,255 --> 01:25:02,385
I don't get it.
1630
01:25:10,405 --> 01:25:12,475
I fucking love that woman.
1631
01:25:26,544 --> 01:25:30,174
♪ I wonder where you are ♪
1632
01:25:30,165 --> 01:25:34,095
♪ From the backseat of my car ♪
1633
01:25:34,103 --> 01:25:36,963
♪ I know she just wants to ♪
1634
01:25:36,955 --> 01:25:41,955
♪ I'm better now ♪
1635
01:25:42,024 --> 01:25:46,024
♪ I listen to your heart ♪
1636
01:25:46,024 --> 01:25:50,064
♪ And messes me apart ♪
1637
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:52,652
♪ I wish that I was too ♪
1638
01:25:52,652 --> 01:25:55,762
♪ I'm better now ♪
1639
01:25:55,755 --> 01:26:00,275
♪ I'm searching your body I want your lips back again ♪
1640
01:26:00,284 --> 01:26:03,734
♪ Right where we started but I realize ♪
1641
01:26:03,726 --> 01:26:08,476
♪ I still foresake you ♪
1642
01:26:08,484 --> 01:26:13,484
♪ And see you ♪
1643
01:26:17,755 --> 01:26:21,355
♪ I play these wistful games ♪
1644
01:26:21,364 --> 01:26:25,434
♪ I want you just the same ♪
1645
01:26:25,425 --> 01:26:28,155
♪ I know that things don't change ♪
1646
01:26:28,156 --> 01:26:33,156
♪ It's never now ♪
1647
01:26:33,345 --> 01:26:37,095
♪ When it's all fallen through ♪
1648
01:26:37,095 --> 01:26:41,135
♪ I still can't get round you ♪
1649
01:26:41,143 --> 01:26:44,033
♪ I've tried but don't want to ♪
1650
01:26:44,025 --> 01:26:46,915
♪ You're better now ♪
1651
01:26:46,916 --> 01:26:51,226
♪ I'm searching your body I want your lips back again ♪
1652
01:26:51,225 --> 01:26:54,655
♪ Right where we started but I realize ♪
1653
01:26:54,655 --> 01:26:59,655
♪ I still foresake you ♪
1654
01:26:59,676 --> 01:27:02,576
♪ And see you ♪
1655
01:27:02,583 --> 01:27:06,343
♪ I'd give all of the money to get your heart back ♪
1656
01:27:06,344 --> 01:27:10,654
♪ All the money to have your heart back ♪
1657
01:27:10,654 --> 01:27:15,474
♪ I still foresake you ♪
1658
01:27:15,465 --> 01:27:18,125
♪ Can't see you ♪
1659
01:27:36,135 --> 01:27:39,585
♪ Sleepless nights restless days ♪
1660
01:27:39,585 --> 01:27:43,955
♪ All my dreams end the same ♪
1661
01:27:43,962 --> 01:27:48,712
♪ I wake up watch you fade into the dark ♪
1662
01:27:57,617 --> 01:28:02,207
♪ Now I'm searching your body want your lips back again ♪
1663
01:28:02,207 --> 01:28:05,547
♪ Right where we started but I realize ♪
1664
01:28:05,545 --> 01:28:10,405
♪ I still forsake you ♪
1665
01:28:10,407 --> 01:28:13,567
♪ And see you ♪
1666
01:28:13,567 --> 01:28:18,057
♪ I'd give all of the money to have your heart back ♪
1667
01:28:18,057 --> 01:28:20,777
♪ All of the money to have your heart back ♪
115165
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