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1
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:32,766
Yep.
2
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,143
Mm... yep.
3
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,602
Mm-hmm.
4
00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:37,312
Yep, I'm happy.
5
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:40,441
I just found out
the Texas Propane Commission
6
00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:43,402
is giving me
another Blue Flame of Valor.
7
00:00:43,569 --> 00:00:44,862
- Top drawer!
- Hey, all right!
8
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,155
Way to dang ol' go, man.
9
00:00:46,321 --> 00:00:47,656
I wish I worked for someone
10
00:00:47,739 --> 00:00:49,867
who'd hand out an award
every now and then.
11
00:00:49,992 --> 00:00:52,244
But, no, I work for the army.
12
00:00:52,411 --> 00:00:54,913
Yes, this is indeed
a banner day.
13
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:57,541
I've just come up with a new
get rich quick scheme.
14
00:00:57,708 --> 00:01:00,377
I going to apply
to be a waiter at Bazooms!
15
00:01:00,544 --> 00:01:03,338
But all the waiters
at Bazooms! are waitresses.
16
00:01:03,505 --> 00:01:06,467
Yes, they are ladies,
whereas I am a man.
17
00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,677
And a flat-chested one at that.
18
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,721
So Bazooms! won't hire me.
19
00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,974
And when they don't,
I'll sue for sex discrimination.
20
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,726
It's a brilliant idea.
21
00:01:15,893 --> 00:01:16,977
Dang it, Dale.
22
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,854
Did you ever get
the brilliant idea
23
00:01:18,937 --> 00:01:21,857
to make money through
dedication and hard work?
24
00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:23,984
Yep. Dismissed it.
25
00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:26,612
[BELL RINGING]
26
00:01:29,448 --> 00:01:34,286
I can't wait until I'm
doing this with beer cans.
27
00:01:38,457 --> 00:01:41,335
Why do we need
a policeman at school?
28
00:01:41,543 --> 00:01:44,254
Yeah, it's like they took
something sucky
29
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,882
and made it even suckier.
30
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,678
- Oh!
- [CAN CLATTERS]
31
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,271
Um, I know this looks bad,
32
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,607
but I didn't throw that can.
33
00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:05,192
Principal Moss,
34
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:06,985
this young man
threw a can at me.
35
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,987
Aw, shoot.
36
00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:11,532
But I didn't.
Clark Peters threw the can.
37
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:13,700
He and Dooley set me up.
38
00:02:13,784 --> 00:02:15,869
Bobby, there's
no excuse for this.
39
00:02:15,994 --> 00:02:18,205
Sure, Officer Brown
may be a disgraced cop
40
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,623
who tampered with evidence,
41
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,208
got pulled off
his beat and assigned
42
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,584
this nothing position,
43
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,253
but this here used to be a man.
44
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,713
Yes, I was.
45
00:02:26,922 --> 00:02:29,174
All right, your
punishment's going to be
46
00:02:29,258 --> 00:02:30,842
to work alongside Officer Brown
47
00:02:30,937 --> 00:02:32,188
for the rest of the week.
48
00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:33,746
- Okay.
- Okay.
49
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,307
It's not fair.
50
00:02:37,432 --> 00:02:40,102
I'm being punished
for something I didn't do.
51
00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:43,188
Well, you hang out with a bad
crowd, that's what happens.
52
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,899
[SIGHS]
Maybe it won't be so bad.
53
00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:48,735
I'll finally get to pull rank
on the crossing guards.
54
00:02:48,819 --> 00:02:52,281
Watch out, Emily,
I'm coming for you.
55
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,286
Well, Peggy, thanks
for a delicious breakfast.
56
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,997
If that's how the Belgians
make their waffles,
57
00:03:00,122 --> 00:03:02,291
then I haven't given them
a fair shake.
58
00:03:02,457 --> 00:03:03,625
You are welcome.
59
00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,252
I wanted to do something special
60
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,296
in honor of your
Blue Flame of Valor.
61
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:11,133
And guess what?
I got you a present.
62
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,096
The '77 Cowboys!
63
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,639
Peggy, it's beautiful!
64
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,349
And it's signed
by the whole team.
65
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,560
Even the team doctor,
or trainer.
66
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,145
Lars Olsen!
67
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,730
Roger Staubach,
68
00:03:24,855 --> 00:03:26,106
Golden Richards,
69
00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:27,524
Tony Dorsett,
70
00:03:27,649 --> 00:03:30,485
Pat Donov-- What the heck?
71
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,155
This isn't how Pat Donovan
signs his name.
72
00:03:33,322 --> 00:03:34,948
Who's Pat Donovan?
73
00:03:35,157 --> 00:03:36,533
He was our left tackle.
74
00:03:36,658 --> 00:03:38,368
Master of the pancake block
75
00:03:38,493 --> 00:03:40,412
and the long, flowing signature.
76
00:03:40,579 --> 00:03:42,623
This is tight,
little chicken scratch.
77
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,666
- It's a fake!
- Are you sure?
78
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:45,917
Peggy.
79
00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:47,878
We need to return this forgery!
80
00:03:48,086 --> 00:03:50,297
Damn straight.
Where did you get it?
81
00:03:50,505 --> 00:03:51,673
At Metro walk.
82
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,675
Ugh, I hate that place.
83
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:55,552
It's like a magnet for bums
84
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,096
and hooligans and young people.
85
00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,473
Come on, we're going to go there
86
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,808
and demand our money back.
87
00:04:03,352 --> 00:04:06,271
Oh, Hank, honey,
you forgot your wallet.
88
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,152
So you've never
waited tables before?
89
00:04:12,361 --> 00:04:13,320
Nope.
90
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,529
And you have
91
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,573
no restaurant experience
of any kind?
92
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:17,699
Nuh-uh.
93
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,660
And you're a man?
94
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:23,288
Well, I don't know
why that should matter, but yes.
95
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,046
Congratulations,
you got the job.
96
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,674
Do what now?
97
00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:38,095
[SIGHS]
Look at this place.
98
00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:39,805
It's like hell.
99
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,348
Or Dallas.
100
00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:42,557
What the...?
101
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:45,227
It appears we are
standing on a fountain.
102
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:49,064
- Got a dollar?
- Spare change?
103
00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,316
Look, I didn't mind
when you gave me diet,
104
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,443
and I was okay that
you put cheese on this
105
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,529
even though
I'm lactose intolerant.
106
00:04:55,654 --> 00:04:57,864
It's just...
I know I gave you a 20.
107
00:04:57,989 --> 00:04:59,908
Can I at least
have the right change?
108
00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:02,494
[SIGHS]
Someone's getting ripped off.
109
00:05:02,577 --> 00:05:04,663
How long have we been
here, three minutes?
110
00:05:04,746 --> 00:05:06,665
They ought to burn
this place down.
111
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,375
Oh, Hank, here we are.
112
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:09,751
Now, let's get our money back
113
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:11,211
and get the heck out of here...
114
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,546
by way of Sephora.
115
00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:15,048
It's the only place
that still carries Charlie.
116
00:05:17,843 --> 00:05:19,261
Hey, buddy.
117
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:20,595
What can I interest you in?
118
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,514
We've got an autographed
Pete Rose jersey,
119
00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:24,641
an autographed
Pete Rose rookie card,
120
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:27,060
an autographed Pete Rose
autograph.
121
00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:30,731
That's right, it's his signature
within his signature.
122
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,149
I don't want to buy anything.
123
00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:33,734
I'm here to make a return.
124
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,737
That is not
Pat Donovan's signature.
125
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:37,904
Sure it is.
126
00:05:37,988 --> 00:05:40,365
Hey, Leo, isn't this how
Pat Donovan signs his name?
127
00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:41,658
- Yep.
- Told ya.
128
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:42,993
And here,
129
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,162
I've got a certificate
of authenticity.
130
00:05:45,287 --> 00:05:47,539
It's signed by Paul Johnson.
131
00:05:47,706 --> 00:05:49,958
I don't care who the heck
it's signed by.
132
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:53,086
This is a fake and I want
my got-dang money back.
133
00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:54,755
Sorry, all sales are final.
134
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,590
Well, that just tears it.
135
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,716
Come on, Peggy.
136
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,551
Let's get out of here
before I leave
137
00:05:59,634 --> 00:06:03,346
Thom McCann's autograph
on this guy's ass.
138
00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:09,811
Bobby Hill, reporting for duty.
139
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,230
Fine. Have a seat.
140
00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:19,863
So, when do we get
to round up some perps?
141
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,156
We don't.
142
00:06:21,323 --> 00:06:24,785
Sure, I used to shoot people
and see dead bodies and stuff,
143
00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:26,870
but those were happier times.
144
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:29,539
[GASPS]
Wait a second!
145
00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,917
Truancy is a school issue.
146
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,545
And I know for a fact
that Dooley and Clark Peters
147
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,964
skipped class to hang out
at Whattaburger.
148
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,674
They're there right now.
149
00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:42,511
Come on, let's go catch us
some truants!
150
00:06:42,761 --> 00:06:44,554
Whatever.
151
00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:46,973
I'm fed up with it.
152
00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,266
Everywhere you turn,
153
00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:49,976
someone's trying to rip you off.
154
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,355
And it's not just the guys
with the tattoos anymore.
155
00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:55,482
It's a disgrace.
156
00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,484
[BARKING]
157
00:06:57,692 --> 00:07:00,362
Oh, that little puppy
wind-up toy is so cute!
158
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,030
You see-- Oh, it just jumped!
159
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,366
I gotta--
I'll be back in just a minute.
160
00:07:12,374 --> 00:07:13,208
HANK:
Hey!
161
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:14,709
Hey, you!
Get back here!
162
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,461
Give me that wallet!
163
00:07:16,753 --> 00:07:18,421
Okay, okay.
164
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:20,507
I ought to tear your head off.
165
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,092
Yeah, you better run.
166
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:23,510
What happened?
167
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:26,221
A thief just tried to walk
off with my wallet.
168
00:07:26,388 --> 00:07:27,472
Really?
169
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:29,766
But wait, I have your wallet
in my purse.
170
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,476
- What?
- You left the house
171
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,520
in such a hurry,
you forgot to take it.
172
00:07:36,731 --> 00:07:38,483
Oh, my God, Peggy.
173
00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:40,235
I'm a mugger!
174
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,285
PEGGY:
They cannot pin this on you.
175
00:07:48,451 --> 00:07:49,494
It's not your fault
176
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,280
that all men's wallets
look the same.
177
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,040
Now maybe we can reopen
the fanny pack discussion?
178
00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:55,000
No.
179
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:57,002
Fine. Why don't we just go back
180
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:59,212
and turn the wallet in
to mall security?
181
00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:01,673
Peggy, security guards
aren't real cops.
182
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,676
They don't have
the same high ethical standards.
183
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,262
They'd have kept all the money,
and I'd take the heat.
184
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,931
Well, then you need
to return it yourself.
185
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:13,059
Just open up the wallet
and find some identification.
186
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,603
It just seems wrong.
187
00:08:14,686 --> 00:08:17,230
A man's wallet is
a very personal thing.
188
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,733
It's like money filled
underwear.
189
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,568
You have no choice, Hank.
190
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,529
[SIGHS]
191
00:08:26,865 --> 00:08:29,034
Okay, here's the guy's ID.
192
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,493
"Barry Rollins,
193
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:33,371
2015 Ridge Street,
McMaynerbury."
194
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:35,248
Hmm, he's not an organ donor.
195
00:08:35,373 --> 00:08:37,083
Probably a drinker.
196
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,045
He was a white man,
197
00:08:40,211 --> 00:08:41,129
about 40.
198
00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:42,672
Uh, what's his name?
199
00:08:42,881 --> 00:08:45,091
What? I don't know.
Huh...
200
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,551
Did you get a picture of him?
201
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,553
A confession, something?
202
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:49,638
No!
203
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:50,805
Huh...
204
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,807
Okay, be safe now.
205
00:08:52,974 --> 00:08:54,059
Wha... Please!
206
00:08:54,184 --> 00:08:55,852
I'm tired of being a victim!
207
00:09:06,477 --> 00:09:08,813
HANK [ON ANSWERING MACHINE]:
Uh, hi, this is Hank.
208
00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,993
Just Hank.
Let's-- Let's leave it at that.
209
00:09:12,202 --> 00:09:13,703
I have your wallet,
210
00:09:13,828 --> 00:09:16,247
and I've-- I've got your address.
211
00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:17,666
Don't go to the police.
212
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,876
Let's just you and me
settle this.
213
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:21,503
I'll be seeing you.
214
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:22,629
[PHONE CLICKS]
215
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,464
You messed with the wrong guy.
216
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,758
In fact,
you made me the wrong guy.
217
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,678
42 years of being picked on
ends today.
218
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,598
Well, we're almost
at Whattaburger.
219
00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,934
Boy, will Dooley
and Clark Peters
220
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,311
ever be surprised to see us!
221
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,980
Yeah. You know, Bobby,
222
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,607
it's been a while since
I've driven to a crime scene.
223
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:46,319
And sure, truancy is no homicide
or armed robbery
224
00:09:46,444 --> 00:09:49,489
or public urination,
but it still feels good
225
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,907
to hit the streets.
226
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,955
So, can we use this?
227
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,207
Yeah, what the hell.
228
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,918
[SIREN BLARING]
229
00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,256
Here we go!
230
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,553
You got 'em, Officer Brown!
231
00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:14,889
You set up the wrong guy, boyos!
232
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:19,352
I tell ya, Bobby, it's just nice
to nab some suspects.
233
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:22,063
I'm a suspect.
234
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,733
That dang Barry Rollins.
235
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,277
I know if someone
inadvertently robbed me,
236
00:10:27,402 --> 00:10:28,987
I'd at least give 'em
the courtesy
237
00:10:29,112 --> 00:10:30,780
of a return phone call.
238
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:33,908
Hank, why don't you just admit
you meant to steal the wallet?
239
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:36,703
It's okay --
sometimes I take things.
240
00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:39,706
[DALE HUMMING]
241
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,499
Uh, where's the light beer?
242
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,960
I've got to fit into
a uniform, people.
243
00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:46,171
I can't believe
you took the job.
244
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,673
I had to --
they only offered me the job
245
00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:50,425
'cause they thought
I wouldn't take it.
246
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:54,888
They were calling my bluff --
now I'm calling their bluff.
247
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,474
It's a classic
double-bluff-reverseo.
248
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,934
Wow, there's even a name for it.
249
00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:03,063
When they see I'm not quitting,
they'll have to fire me.
250
00:11:03,188 --> 00:11:08,068
And when they do -- sha-sha --
I sue for sex discrimination.
251
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,736
You're an evil genius.
252
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,613
Yep, the only downside is,
253
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,740
the other waitresses
really resent me.
254
00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:16,576
See, I'm a lousy waiter who,
unlike them,
255
00:11:16,659 --> 00:11:19,204
is not constantly
sexually harassed
256
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:20,538
by the customers.
257
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:22,791
You're talking nonsense,
Barry, I...
258
00:11:22,874 --> 00:11:24,375
Did I just call you Barry?
259
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:26,503
I can't get him out of my head.
260
00:11:26,669 --> 00:11:28,588
I gotta go call him again.
261
00:11:30,548 --> 00:11:35,011
[PHONE RINGING]
262
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:37,680
- Pushed too far.
- [PHONE RINGING]
263
00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:40,934
Pushed too far.
264
00:11:41,059 --> 00:11:43,353
HANK [OVER ANSWERING MACHINE]:
Uh, hi, it's Hank.
265
00:11:43,478 --> 00:11:44,646
Remember me?
266
00:11:44,813 --> 00:11:47,941
Look, since you keep dodging me,
you've left me no choice.
267
00:11:48,149 --> 00:11:52,153
I'm coming over, and we'll
settle this face-to-face.
268
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:55,240
Yeah, face-to-face with these!
269
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,497
Order 59 is up!
270
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,166
Thank you, Pedro.
271
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,335
I can't believe
you got this job.
272
00:12:07,418 --> 00:12:09,587
My girlfriend wasn't hired
because of you.
273
00:12:09,671 --> 00:12:13,216
And she's a great waitress
with a very expensive body.
274
00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:16,052
Are you suggesting
that I shouldn't work here
275
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,929
because of my gender?
276
00:12:18,012 --> 00:12:20,515
I like the way you think,
girlfriend!
277
00:12:20,598 --> 00:12:22,433
Would you be willing
to put that in writing?
278
00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:24,018
In the manager's writing?
279
00:12:24,269 --> 00:12:26,688
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
280
00:12:35,071 --> 00:12:36,948
[LOUD WHISTLE]
281
00:12:37,866 --> 00:12:39,576
Hold on, honey.
282
00:12:39,742 --> 00:12:42,495
Let me clear off a place
for you to sit.
283
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:44,539
[GIGGLING]
284
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:46,416
[LAUGHING AND WHISTLING]
285
00:12:48,793 --> 00:12:50,837
There you are, my man.
286
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:53,214
Hey, who do you like
in the Mavericks game tonight?
287
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,717
I like the Mavs --
they're good in the post,
288
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,969
and their perimeter game
has really been clicking.
289
00:12:58,136 --> 00:12:59,888
Well, amen to that, brother!
290
00:13:00,138 --> 00:13:02,599
Here's your tip from table four.
291
00:13:03,808 --> 00:13:06,311
Wow, I'm getting bigger tips
than the attractive,
292
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,063
competent women
just because I'm a man.
293
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,191
Amen to that, brother!
294
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,901
Whoo! Oh, yeah!
295
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,280
So this is where
Barry Rollins lives.
296
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,741
Mm. I hate showing up
empty-handed.
297
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:21,534
We really should've
brought wine.
298
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:23,828
Let's just get this over with.
299
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,539
MAN [OVER TV]:
A man can only bend so far.
300
00:13:26,664 --> 00:13:28,750
Sooner or later, he breaks.
301
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,127
Do you know the sound
of a man breaking?
302
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,921
Do you? Do you?!
303
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,297
[GUNSHOT]
304
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,673
That's the sound.
305
00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,091
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
306
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,426
[TURNS OFF TV]
307
00:13:42,263 --> 00:13:43,473
You fool.
308
00:13:43,598 --> 00:13:47,518
The fat guy and the fairly good
looking guy can't save you.
309
00:13:53,483 --> 00:13:55,735
I'd swear I heard
someone in there.
310
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,699
Well, I guess nobody's home.
311
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:04,035
Dang it, I just want
to leave the wallet for him.
312
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,578
Maybe his door is unlocked.
313
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,247
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
314
00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:13,461
Huh, I wonder if it'll fit
in the mail slot?
315
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:15,755
What the...?
316
00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:20,969
Want to come in... for a beer?!
317
00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:23,137
[YELLS]
318
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,435
Hey, buddy, I'm just trying
to give your wallet back.
319
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:34,190
My name is Barry Rollins,
and I demand respect!
320
00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:37,110
[BILL SHRIEKING]
321
00:14:40,154 --> 00:14:42,073
- [ENGINE STARTS]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
322
00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:45,660
- [ENGINE STARTS]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
323
00:14:48,871 --> 00:14:50,498
[HYPERVENTILATING]
324
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,877
Talkin' bout ol', dang ol'
freakin' out like that, man.
325
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,212
[SIGHS]
What do we do?
326
00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:57,922
I don't want him
to follow me home.
327
00:14:58,047 --> 00:14:59,007
Bazooms!
328
00:14:59,173 --> 00:15:01,134
Dale will believe us.
He can help us.
329
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,886
Well, Bazooms! is a public place.
330
00:15:04,012 --> 00:15:06,431
We can go there and figure
out what we should do next.
331
00:15:09,559 --> 00:15:13,187
I'm glad you talked me into
taking out the ol' squad car.
332
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,231
Those truants are gonna
soil themselves
333
00:15:15,356 --> 00:15:16,983
when they see this baby coming.
334
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:17,900
Yeah.
335
00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:20,695
Hey, that's my dad's truck.
336
00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:22,113
He ran a red light.
337
00:15:22,196 --> 00:15:24,615
Something's wrong.
He's speeding!
338
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,867
[GASPS]
339
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,785
Somebody's after my dad.
340
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:31,039
Oh, my God, it's
a high-speed chase.
341
00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:33,374
We've got to pursue.
342
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:35,793
[SIREN WAILING]
343
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,213
He's gaining on us, Hank.
344
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,510
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
345
00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:46,596
There's Bazooms!
346
00:16:09,911 --> 00:16:11,204
DALE:
Hey, guys.
347
00:16:11,412 --> 00:16:12,705
Sit in my section.
348
00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:15,249
How about some hot wings,
on the house?
349
00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:18,002
I find if I bring people things
and don't ring them up,
350
00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:19,629
the tips are incredible.
351
00:16:19,796 --> 00:16:21,464
No, Dale, we...
352
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,341
Oh, God. Oh, no!
353
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:36,771
We're gonna be all right.
354
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:38,356
We're gonna be all right.
355
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,193
[QUIETLY]
Dale, he's here?
356
00:16:42,318 --> 00:16:43,653
What? Who's here?
357
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,904
The wallet guy.
358
00:16:45,113 --> 00:16:46,447
I don't know what happened.
359
00:16:46,531 --> 00:16:49,158
We tried to give him his wallet
back, and he went crazy.
360
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,870
[MOUTHING]
361
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:53,830
[YELLS]
362
00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:54,789
What do we do?
363
00:16:54,956 --> 00:16:56,457
I'll figure this out.
364
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:59,544
Okay. Do you have darts
tipped with poison?
365
00:17:00,962 --> 00:17:02,380
Darts tipped with anything?
366
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,923
No.
367
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,800
Well, you're not giving me
much to work with,
368
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,094
but I'll come up with something.
369
00:17:09,971 --> 00:17:11,722
Wait. You missed
the entrance.
370
00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:13,307
That's where they went in.
371
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:15,977
Sorry, Bobby,
it's been a long time.
372
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,062
I didn't want the chase to end.
373
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,857
And now I get to do
an abrupt U-turn
374
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,483
across four lanes of traffic.
375
00:17:23,693 --> 00:17:25,611
BROWN:
Yahoo!
376
00:17:28,573 --> 00:17:31,117
[MOUTHING]
377
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:32,577
Who's he gonna get?
378
00:17:32,702 --> 00:17:33,911
The kids were in the way.
379
00:17:34,078 --> 00:17:35,371
I don't know, I couldn't see it.
380
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:36,914
Well, let's ask him
to do it again.
381
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,791
We're not gonna ask him
to do it again.
382
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,168
DALE:
I've got a plan.
383
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:43,171
Okay, I'm letting you know now,
Bill, it involves running.
384
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,008
Oh, and you might want
to leave your tip now.
385
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:52,054
Okay, ladies,
there's a birthday at table six.
386
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:53,931
Wow. I didn't think
it was possible,
387
00:17:54,015 --> 00:17:56,017
but you just got me
to like you even less.
388
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,311
But, um, you don't understand.
389
00:17:58,436 --> 00:18:00,396
This guy's really rich.
390
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:02,690
He'll be throwing money
everywhere.
391
00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:04,942
He's gonna make it rain.
392
00:18:05,193 --> 00:18:07,528
Well, it is the man's birthday.
393
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,113
He deserves a song.
394
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,616
Okay, let's do this.
395
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,035
Uh, well, no, Bobby.
396
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,912
I'm gonna go in by myself.
397
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,330
What? Why?
398
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,165
You're only 13.
399
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,083
If something were to happen
to you,
400
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:25,004
I'd never forgive myself
for the damage to my reputation.
401
00:18:35,223 --> 00:18:37,225
Hey, we've got a birthday!
402
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,768
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
403
00:18:38,935 --> 00:18:40,895
? It's your birthday,
Yes, it is ?
404
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:43,064
? Happy birthday ?
405
00:18:43,231 --> 00:18:45,274
? It's your birthday,
Yes, it is ?
406
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,443
? Happy birthday, you ?
407
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:49,320
Get out of my way.
408
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,544
- [ALL GASPING]
- Oh, my God.
409
00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:06,170
I'm so embarrassed.
410
00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:10,716
Hey, you can't do that.
411
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,385
Do you know how tired we are
412
00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:14,554
of pervs like you
always touching us.
413
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,556
Yeah, keep your sick
hands off of him.
414
00:19:16,639 --> 00:19:17,932
He's one of us.
415
00:19:18,099 --> 00:19:20,059
I'm one of you?
416
00:19:20,268 --> 00:19:22,478
You don't know how much
that means to me.
417
00:19:22,645 --> 00:19:24,772
You make me sick.
418
00:19:24,981 --> 00:19:26,691
I'm not trying to harass anyone.
419
00:19:26,857 --> 00:19:28,693
I just want to kill those guys.
420
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,823
[YELLING]
421
00:19:37,201 --> 00:19:38,869
Drop your weapon!
422
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,163
Thank God.
423
00:19:41,289 --> 00:19:42,832
See, I don't have my gun.
424
00:19:45,626 --> 00:19:47,753
You're under arrest for...
425
00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:48,796
I don't know.
426
00:19:48,963 --> 00:19:50,798
I'm sure there's something
that covers this.
427
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,383
No, no, no.
428
00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:54,176
I'm the victim here.
429
00:19:54,302 --> 00:19:55,595
Officer, wait.
430
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,179
This belongs to him.
431
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,931
Uh, everything's in there.
432
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,642
You know, I never meant
to take your wallet.
433
00:20:01,726 --> 00:20:03,644
It was just a misunderstanding.
434
00:20:03,728 --> 00:20:07,273
I hope some day you'll be able
to look back on this and laugh.
435
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,235
Anyway, uh, I'm sorry.
436
00:20:12,903 --> 00:20:14,280
Are you pressing charges?
437
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,531
Hell, yeah.
438
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:19,076
I got him, Bobby!
I got him!
439
00:20:19,243 --> 00:20:20,536
BOBBY:
All right!
440
00:20:20,745 --> 00:20:22,496
[OVER PA]
Hi, Dad.
441
00:20:23,581 --> 00:20:26,167
So, I think you know
why I'm here.
442
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:28,336
I've been assaulted
in the line of duty.
443
00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:30,630
As a result,
I plan to sue Bazooms!
444
00:20:30,755 --> 00:20:33,591
for creating a hostile
and unsafe work environment
445
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:36,427
for myself
and my fellow waitresses.
446
00:20:39,096 --> 00:20:40,473
What do you want?
447
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,604
It just says "money."
448
00:20:46,771 --> 00:20:48,314
We'll accept nothing less.
449
00:20:48,522 --> 00:20:50,024
That's gonna work
for all the ladies,
450
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,151
but you will get nothing.
451
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,152
What?
452
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:55,071
You've been giving out
appetizers and desserts
453
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,530
without ringing them up.
454
00:20:56,614 --> 00:20:59,784
Bazooms looks down
on employee theft.
455
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:03,496
Well, while you were looking
down on employee theft,
456
00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:05,956
you were also looking down
my shirt.
457
00:21:06,082 --> 00:21:07,667
Shall we just call it even?
458
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,629
Get him, girls!
459
00:21:54,463 --> 00:21:56,382
PEGGY: Maybe we could reopen
the fanny pack discussion?
460
00:21:56,465 --> 00:21:57,091
HANK:
No.
461
00:21:57,141 --> 00:22:01,691
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