Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:34,768
Boy, I never thought
I'd do this again.
2
00:00:34,893 --> 00:00:36,854
Each time you buy a wheelbarrow,
3
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,897
you tell yourself it's
the last time.
4
00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:40,732
Is it 5:00 already?!
5
00:00:40,899 --> 00:00:44,153
I should be getting home.
I have plans.
6
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,657
Evening plans.
For tonight.
7
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:49,908
We all do, Bill.
8
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:52,077
We're watching Hank
use his wheelbarrow.
9
00:00:52,244 --> 00:00:54,580
Yep, I gotta shower up
before dinner.
10
00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:56,748
The dinner I'm having
with a guest.
11
00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:58,375
A female guest.
12
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,753
Should I order oysters,
13
00:01:01,837 --> 00:01:03,797
or is that too forward?
14
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,134
Somebody ask me about my plans!
I have a date!
15
00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:09,720
A date? Well all right,
that's something.
16
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,929
Where'd you two meet?
17
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:13,682
Oh, I haven't met her yet,
but Sergeant Dawson,
18
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:17,311
who set us up, said she's
absolutely perfect for me.
19
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,147
A woman who is perfect for Bill?
20
00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:21,648
[SHUDDERS]
21
00:01:21,773 --> 00:01:23,233
That's a disturbing image.
22
00:01:26,445 --> 00:01:28,864
Huh. John Redcorn
doesn't work here.
23
00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:32,743
DALE:
Oh, he works here, all right.
24
00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:36,413
If by "work here," you mean
having casual sex.
25
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,559
WOMAN:
Excuse me, Bill?
26
00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:59,353
Bill Dauterive?
27
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,605
Wow.
28
00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:06,485
So, Charlene, I understand
you're new to town?
29
00:02:06,652 --> 00:02:09,238
Actually, I lived in Arlen
during my 20s,
30
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,199
but I moved around a lot
and haven't been back until now.
31
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,701
I don't know what
we did without you.
32
00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:16,620
I'm thrilled to be back,
33
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,122
and I think my kids
should be happy here.
34
00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,333
You have kids?
35
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,836
Wow.
36
00:02:27,673 --> 00:02:31,635
Charlene's smart,
beautiful, and she has kids!
37
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,512
How did I get so lucky?
38
00:02:33,679 --> 00:02:36,139
You got lucky because
she has kids.
39
00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:37,683
You can get quite a bargain
40
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,268
if you're willing to
date a single mom.
41
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,144
Yeah, man, talkin'
'bout dang ol'
42
00:02:41,270 --> 00:02:43,480
like slightly used
merchandise, man.
43
00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:46,775
I'll paint their rooms
like different fairy tales.
44
00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:49,403
And every night at bedtime,
I'll wander in
45
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,863
like a different creature
from the forest.
46
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,080
I have 85 channels at home,
47
00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:04,001
and none of them beats watching
Hank use a crescent wrench.
48
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,383
Hi. I'm looking
for 122 Milton Street.
49
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,468
Why? That's Bill's house.
50
00:03:13,677 --> 00:03:16,138
Uh, Bill's place is
just across the alley.
51
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,973
So, you must be Charlene.
52
00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:20,726
Yes, and these are
my kids, Kate and Drew.
53
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,228
Wow, what a beautiful lawn.
54
00:03:23,312 --> 00:03:25,272
It looks just like
a golf course.
55
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,898
Well, thank you, Kate.
56
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,484
Hey, man. How ya doin',
lil' ol', lil' ol' shaver?
57
00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:31,028
Talkin' bout got your nose.
58
00:03:31,153 --> 00:03:33,238
Pardon me, sir, I'm ten.
59
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:42,956
Um, hi.
60
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,376
Afternoon...
61
00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:50,339
Kate!
62
00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,342
Boy, what nice kids.
63
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,302
And that Charlene's
a real beauty.
64
00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:56,803
I don't like her.
65
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,431
How could you not like her?
Charlene seems great.
66
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,642
I'm talking about
the weird one -- Kate.
67
00:04:01,725 --> 00:04:03,685
- Didn't you see it?
- See what?
68
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,520
The contours of her face,
69
00:04:05,604 --> 00:04:07,731
the hazel deadness in her eyes.
70
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,609
Something is severely un-right
with that child.
71
00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:12,361
Potential pod-person.
72
00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:13,862
Probable robot.
73
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:15,072
Possible pod-bot.
74
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,824
Dale, those kids were
perfectly fine. They...
75
00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:20,952
Hank, you'd cozy up to
Mussolini if he liked your lawn.
76
00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:24,539
That girl is not one of us,
and I intend to prove it.
77
00:04:24,623 --> 00:04:26,166
Dangit, no you won't.
78
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:28,251
Bill was lucky enough
to meet a nice girl,
79
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,753
and you're not gonna mess it up.
80
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,254
My gut says...
81
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,631
Ignore your gut.
82
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,592
Just let it go and be
happy for Bill.
83
00:04:41,056 --> 00:04:43,058
DALE:
My weird hunches are wrong.
84
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:46,019
I will ignore my gut
and be happy for Bill.
85
00:04:46,228 --> 00:04:48,772
I will ignore my gut and...
86
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,650
I don't trust you.
87
00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:54,861
Hey, who wants to play a game?
88
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:56,738
We're already playing a game.
89
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,156
This one's better.
90
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,909
It's called "Who Can Pluck the
Longest Hair From Their Head?"
91
00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:02,411
Kate, you first.
92
00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:03,954
Uh, I don't think...
93
00:05:04,079 --> 00:05:05,414
You don't have to!
94
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,374
Ow! Hey!
95
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,251
You're the winner!
96
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,460
[THUMP, DALE GROANS]
97
00:05:11,086 --> 00:05:13,213
I didn't get a turn.
98
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,804
This is so great.
99
00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:23,807
It's like I got married at 30
and my wife never left me!
100
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,893
Yep, heh-heh.
A lazy afternoon.
101
00:05:27,018 --> 00:05:30,439
Just the Hill family
and the Dauterive clan.
102
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:32,190
And Joseph.
103
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:35,610
Wow, Kate, you sure are good
with a grenade launcher.
104
00:05:35,694 --> 00:05:37,028
I like hand grenades
105
00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:38,989
because you can shove them
in people's mouths
106
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,742
and watch their
intestines blow out.
107
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,369
[VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE]
108
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:55,505
So... Bill Dauterive.
109
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,427
How shall I say this?
110
00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:02,679
Peggy, in my younger days,
a set of muscular arms
111
00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:05,098
and a bad attitude were
all I needed in a man.
112
00:06:05,223 --> 00:06:07,267
But as I've matured,
I've realized
113
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:10,979
a sweet, stable guy
is a far better catch.
114
00:06:11,188 --> 00:06:12,355
I see.
115
00:06:12,481 --> 00:06:16,693
So you're attracted to the
muscular arms inside Bill?
116
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:18,570
Something like that.
117
00:06:20,155 --> 00:06:22,073
And the fifth best
thing about kids
118
00:06:22,199 --> 00:06:23,950
is the sound of their laughter.
119
00:06:24,075 --> 00:06:26,620
[JOSEPH LAUGHS WEIRDLY]
120
00:06:35,212 --> 00:06:36,838
I was right!
121
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:39,007
I knew there was something weird
about Kate.
122
00:06:39,174 --> 00:06:42,135
Kate? Dangit, Dale, you said
you were gonna drop this.
123
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:44,679
And I would have,
had her DNA test
124
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:47,140
not yielded such amazing
results.
125
00:06:47,349 --> 00:06:48,725
DNA test?!
126
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:51,853
The printout of her genetic
markers was oddly familiar,
127
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:54,731
so I compared her results with
another set in my collection
128
00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:58,026
and found a point-by-point
match to precisely one-half
129
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:02,030
the DNA sequence of the second
individual: Joseph.
130
00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:02,948
What are you...?
131
00:07:03,114 --> 00:07:05,617
Joseph and Kate
share paternal DNA.
132
00:07:05,742 --> 00:07:07,953
They have the same father.
133
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,831
Oh, God.
Dale...
134
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:12,249
So this means...
135
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:13,542
Precisely.
136
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:16,294
Kate is my daughter.
137
00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:18,004
Huh?
138
00:07:23,385 --> 00:07:25,136
How could Kate be your daughter?
139
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,889
As you may recall,
I learned some time ago
140
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,934
that Joseph was conceived while
I was away from Nancy,
141
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:34,437
an anomaly that can only be
explained by alien gene traders
142
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:38,024
covertly planting my DNA
into my sleeping wife.
143
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,151
Uh... right...
144
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,947
After impregnating Nancy, the
aliens must have then left
145
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,950
my genetic material with
Charlene in the hopes
146
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:50,120
of engineering a master race,
with me as the foundation.
147
00:07:50,245 --> 00:07:52,080
The "how" is simple enough.
148
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:54,374
It's the "why" that troubles me.
149
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:58,169
Uh, well, Dale, aliens
are an unpredictable bunch,
150
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:02,048
so, uh, I think your best bet
is to do nothing.
151
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,926
Yep. Nothing.
152
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,642
So all the while that Nancy was
cheating on Dale with John Redcorn,
153
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:16,229
John Redcorn was cheating
on Nancy with Charlene?
154
00:08:16,354 --> 00:08:18,315
And he's the father
of Joseph and Kate,
155
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,859
while Dale thinks
Joseph and Kate are his?
156
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,277
Pretty much.
157
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,905
Oh, my God.
158
00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:28,992
This is like sitting poolside
at freakin' Melrose Place!
159
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,369
The only question is
who to call first!
160
00:08:31,536 --> 00:08:34,039
Now hold on, Peggy,
let's not rock the boat.
161
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,916
Bill has a girlfriend.
162
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,585
Hank, I cannot
keep this to myself!
163
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:40,337
I have to tell...
164
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,673
Oh, I can't tell Nancy.
Or Charlene.
165
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,843
And you probably shouldn't
tell Bill. Or Dale.
166
00:08:47,052 --> 00:08:50,138
And God knows Boomhauer
can't keep a secret.
167
00:08:50,722 --> 00:08:52,724
We can't tell anyone.
168
00:08:52,891 --> 00:08:56,436
Yep. There's not a
thing we can do.
169
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,066
[JOSEPH AND KATE
LAUGHING RAUCOUSLY]
170
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,597
[GASPS]
171
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:12,035
Bobby, why are you not outside
with Kate and Joseph!?
172
00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,245
They're getting way too chummy.
173
00:09:14,329 --> 00:09:16,915
It's like they only want
to hang out with each other.
174
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,167
Are you gonna let yourself
get squeezed out?
175
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,877
No friend?
No girlfriend?
176
00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:22,170
Is that what you want?
177
00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:23,296
No.
178
00:09:23,505 --> 00:09:25,882
Then get out there
and fight for your spot!
179
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:28,969
Third musketeer!
Go, go, go!
180
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,972
This is how you throw a spiral.
181
00:09:32,097 --> 00:09:34,891
Hey, throw to me!
I'm open!
182
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,442
DALE:
Aliens!
183
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:48,238
I know your rubbery, glowing
hands are in this, but why?!
184
00:09:48,363 --> 00:09:50,198
I need to take
this investigation
185
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,200
to the front lines.
186
00:09:58,039 --> 00:09:59,541
Look who it is!
187
00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:01,668
What brings you
to my favorite restaurant
188
00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:03,086
that I never talk about?
189
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,379
Oh, hey, Dale.
190
00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:06,381
We're just sitting down
for a family meal.
191
00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,799
Why don't you join us?
192
00:10:07,966 --> 00:10:11,261
Well... well,
maybe for just a minute.
193
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:15,890
[CLICKING]
194
00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:17,308
[BEEPS]
195
00:10:17,392 --> 00:10:19,978
Good choice on the
mashed potatoes, Kate.
196
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:23,732
Tasty, and a fun place to sculpt
your subconscious thoughts.
197
00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:26,109
Mm-hmm...
198
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,319
Eh... hmm...
199
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,739
Don't know what to do with that.
200
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:37,287
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
201
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:42,208
Nancy, quick question about the
night Joseph was conceived:
202
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:46,046
When the aliens teleported here
to impregnate you with my DNA,
203
00:10:46,171 --> 00:10:49,424
do you remember
anything unusual?
204
00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:50,592
Excuse me?
205
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,635
It seems I have another child.
206
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,096
I ran a DNA test on the
daughter of Bill's girlfriend
207
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:58,558
and found out she and Joseph
have the same father.
208
00:10:58,767 --> 00:10:59,768
I'm sorry.
209
00:10:59,851 --> 00:11:02,520
Did you say Joseph and this girl
have the same father?
210
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,565
Not only that, but they were
born just a few days apart.
211
00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:09,194
Yep, I guess you and Charlene
were visited by the same aliens.
212
00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:10,945
In the same week.
213
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,114
Maybe the same day.
214
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,535
I need to make a call.
215
00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,373
But I never even met a Charlene!
216
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,417
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
217
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:25,752
Oh, hey, sug'.
218
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,170
You're home early.
219
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,005
John Redcorn.
Good to see you.
220
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:31,132
Did Nancy tell you
about Joseph's sister,
221
00:11:31,216 --> 00:11:32,592
i.e., my daughter?
222
00:11:32,801 --> 00:11:34,803
Yes. But there must be
some mistake.
223
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,638
That's not what the DNA says!
224
00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:37,806
Well, it's wrong!
225
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,600
I never-- I mean, Dale
never cheated on you.
226
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:42,602
Of course not.
The aliens--
227
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,354
Never, John Redcorn?
228
00:11:44,562 --> 00:11:47,857
You're saying Dale didn't
cheat on me even once?!
229
00:11:47,982 --> 00:11:50,985
I'm not sure why John Redcorn
would have that information,
230
00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:52,070
but, no, I--
231
00:11:52,237 --> 00:11:54,239
Okay, maybe there were
isolated incidents!
232
00:11:54,364 --> 00:11:56,282
But Dale always
took precautions!
233
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,284
So now it's "incidents"?
234
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,702
Nancy, please!
235
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,621
It's... It's very complex.
236
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:02,539
Huh!
237
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:08,795
John Redcorn is right, the alien
plan is far too complex!
238
00:12:08,878 --> 00:12:11,756
I guess we should follow
Hank's advice and do nothing.
239
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:13,174
[DEEP SIGH]
240
00:12:13,258 --> 00:12:15,218
I feel better already.
241
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,470
[DALE HUMMING]
242
00:12:18,596 --> 00:12:21,391
Uh, Hank, you were right.
243
00:12:21,558 --> 00:12:22,976
It feels good not trying
244
00:12:23,101 --> 00:12:25,311
to figure out this
whole alien thing.
245
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,231
Yep, and it's better if you
don't even talk about it.
246
00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:32,360
Yep. It's back to a mundane life
of drinking beer
247
00:12:32,443 --> 00:12:35,488
and helping my jackass friends
shop for wheelbarrows.
248
00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:36,823
Guys!
249
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,241
I have great news!
250
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,785
I asked Charlene and the kids
to move in with me...
251
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,370
and they said yes!
252
00:12:42,537 --> 00:12:44,706
- What?
- Wow, way to go, Bill.
253
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:47,709
Mmm. I'm having a big party
tomorrow to welcome them.
254
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:49,043
See you then!
255
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:51,713
No, nu-uh, no way!
256
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,673
Alien masterplans are one thing,
257
00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:55,675
but this I cannot accept!
258
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:59,179
Bill Dauterive will not
raise my daughter.
259
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:06,769
If you have some idea of what we
should be doing, I'm listening.
260
00:13:08,813 --> 00:13:10,523
All right, then.
261
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:16,362
Kahn, Minh, so glad you could
be here to share our joy.
262
00:13:16,446 --> 00:13:18,948
We wouldn't miss
it for the world!
263
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,367
We so happy for you!
264
00:13:22,744 --> 00:13:25,872
Now where that bastard child
Peggy Hill tell you about?
265
00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:27,373
JOSEPH:
You do it.
266
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,125
No, I want you to do it.
267
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,169
Let's do it together.
268
00:13:31,294 --> 00:13:32,503
- [GRUNTING]
- [GRUNTING]
269
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,507
Smashin' ant hills, huh?
270
00:13:36,591 --> 00:13:40,220
Gosh, we all have
so much fun together.
271
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,642
So Charlene's moving in, huh?
272
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,269
Have you told her all
about your idiosyncrasies,
273
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,896
like your fear of floss,
274
00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:53,107
or how you use your loofah
for non-loofah purposes?
275
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:58,655
Charlene loves me for who I am.
276
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,782
She told me so last night.
277
00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:02,951
[GRUNTS]
278
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:05,912
Charlene, congratulations.
279
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,540
Say, have you seen the 1987 film
The Stepfather,
280
00:14:09,624 --> 00:14:12,502
where a seemingly loving man
cozies up to a single mother
281
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,712
only to go nuts
and kill everyone?
282
00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:16,589
It stars the bald guy from Lost.
283
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,726
John Redcorn?
Is that you?
284
00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:29,769
Dale.
285
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,397
You must be wondering why
I'm hiding behind this bush.
286
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,441
No, I just figured there was
a cool Indian reason.
287
00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:37,235
Is there a cool Indian reason?
288
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,820
Yes.
289
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:41,197
But I also wanted to see
Joseph's sister.
290
00:14:41,406 --> 00:14:42,740
And her mother.
291
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,492
That's Charlene.
292
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,536
[GASPS]
Candi?
293
00:14:46,703 --> 00:14:48,329
Sorry, I don't have any.
294
00:14:48,413 --> 00:14:51,499
You know, the mothers of
my children are pretty hot.
295
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:55,253
The aliens seem partial to
pouty lips and an ample bosom.
296
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,005
Yes. Yes, they do.
297
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,423
Well, I'm leaving.
298
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:01,384
Couldn't even turn a woman off
Bill -- how's that for sad?
299
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,512
I wish I had a debonair
ladies' man to seduce her.
300
00:15:04,595 --> 00:15:07,432
Too bad Boomhauer finds
motherhood disgusting.
301
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,434
Well, see ya later, John...
302
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,686
Redcorn! Of course!
303
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:12,645
I'm sorry?
304
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,273
John Redcorn, I bet you
could romance a woman
305
00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,900
out of a relationship
with a giant doofus!
306
00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:21,487
Dale, are you asking me to steal
your friend's companion?
307
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,240
I don't want my child
raised by an idiot!
308
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,910
Yes. It's very difficult to
watch an idiot raise your child.
309
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,413
Then join me, and together,
we can strike down
310
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,749
this perverse and unholy union!
311
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,834
There's some sex in it for ya.
312
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,130
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
313
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,592
Very well. I will help.
314
00:15:42,717 --> 00:15:44,260
Wingo!
315
00:15:44,385 --> 00:15:45,970
The sex will be with Charlene.
316
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,847
You got that part, right?
317
00:15:54,645 --> 00:15:57,148
Bill, the kids already like you.
318
00:15:57,273 --> 00:15:59,525
You don't need to buy all this
junk food to win them over.
319
00:15:59,609 --> 00:16:02,487
Ye... Yeah, yes. Kids.
320
00:16:02,612 --> 00:16:04,614
Hmm, that's just
what I was doing.
321
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,949
Bill! What a relief.
322
00:16:07,075 --> 00:16:09,243
I dropped my keys in the
back of the meat freezer
323
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,953
and I need someone
well insulated
324
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,455
to fish them out for me.
325
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,999
I'm kinda the go-to guy
for stuff like this.
326
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,876
I'll be right back.
327
00:16:17,794 --> 00:16:19,170
[GASPS]
328
00:16:20,671 --> 00:16:21,923
John Redcorn.
329
00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,842
Hello, Candi.
It's been a long time.
330
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,386
Yes, it has.
331
00:16:26,511 --> 00:16:28,471
I haven't gone by my stage name
in years.
332
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,722
Its Charlene now.
333
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:32,934
Your name may have changed,
but your incredible beauty
334
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:34,644
has not.
335
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:40,441
So, Bill, how's life as a
not-entirely legal guardian?
336
00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:42,902
O-Oh, great.
Just-- Just great.
337
00:16:43,027 --> 00:16:45,321
A little tiring,
but so worth it.
338
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,573
I've had a lot of quality
time with the kids
339
00:16:47,657 --> 00:16:49,909
since Charlene hooked up
with her old girlfriends.
340
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:50,952
[SNICKERS]
341
00:16:51,119 --> 00:16:53,329
Oh, yeah?
Nice bunch a gals, are they?
342
00:16:53,521 --> 00:16:55,773
I haven't met them,
but they seem fun --
343
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,376
they've kept Charlene out
late every night this week.
344
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,336
[SNICKERS]
345
00:17:00,461 --> 00:17:01,546
[CLEARS THROAT]
346
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,214
Just remembered a funny sniglet.
347
00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,340
CHARLENE:
Bill, honey!
348
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:05,883
I'm meeting the girls for lunch.
349
00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:07,301
Can you come back to the house?
350
00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:10,680
Well, gotta go watch the kids.
351
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:12,306
Good times.
352
00:17:21,524 --> 00:17:23,443
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
353
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:24,986
[TIRES SCREETCH]
354
00:17:25,069 --> 00:17:26,362
Hey, partner!
355
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,240
Just wanted to get
a status report.
356
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:31,075
Phase one, infiltration,
357
00:17:31,159 --> 00:17:33,578
seems to have been
accomplished. Repeatedly.
358
00:17:33,703 --> 00:17:36,956
When do we get to phase two,
Charlene breaking up with Bill?
359
00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:39,876
Dale, romancing a woman
out of a relationship
360
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,878
requires much energy.
361
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:43,713
Okay, but let's not drag it out.
362
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,298
I'd like to shatter
Bill's happiness
363
00:17:45,423 --> 00:17:47,884
in a way that doesn't
leave him all mopey.
364
00:17:49,177 --> 00:17:52,221
So, going out to meet
the girls, huh? Again?
365
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:53,598
I'm sorry.
366
00:17:53,723 --> 00:17:56,267
It's just that seeing the
girls after all this time
367
00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:58,603
has brought back
some fond memories.
368
00:17:58,728 --> 00:18:00,813
Do you want me to cancel
so I can watch the kids?
369
00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:04,358
No, no, ha-have a good time
with your girlfriends.
370
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:07,653
I was gonna take the kids
to Captain Bear's Pizza.
371
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:10,656
Let 'em crawl all over someone
else's furniture for a change.
372
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,534
Oh, Bill, you're so good
with Kate and Drew.
373
00:18:13,618 --> 00:18:15,328
They have so much fun with you.
374
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,413
Yeah, I do with them, too.
They're...
375
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,457
- They're just a big bundle of--
- [CLATTERING]
376
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,792
[GASPS]
I'll get the fire extinguisher!
377
00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:23,252
[FLAMES CRACKLE,
SMOKE DETECTOR BEEPS]
378
00:18:31,385 --> 00:18:33,638
Was that... John Redcorn?
379
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:34,805
I know!
380
00:18:34,889 --> 00:18:37,934
How long does it take to
steal a woman from Bill?
381
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,729
Perhaps I should explain.
382
00:18:41,812 --> 00:18:45,775
Um, you see, I've recruited
John Redcorn to seduce Charlene.
383
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:49,111
Soon my daughter will be out
of that screw-up Bill's house
384
00:18:49,237 --> 00:18:52,782
and back in the healthy embrace
of a single-parent family.
385
00:18:52,949 --> 00:18:56,577
You asked John Redcorn
to break up Bill and Charlene?
386
00:18:56,661 --> 00:19:00,456
Ah, dangit, I tried not to get
involved, but this tears it.
387
00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,916
Let's go.
388
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,002
Bill, Dale's got
something to tell you.
389
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:07,922
Hey, Bill. What's going on?
390
00:19:08,089 --> 00:19:09,924
Oh, just hanging laundry.
391
00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:12,093
Kids sure do like
playing with mustard.
392
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:13,594
Mustard. Heh.
393
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,013
That's kids for ya.
394
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,059
Bill... I have a confession.
395
00:19:20,184 --> 00:19:22,436
Charlene hasn't been out
with her girlfriends
396
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,980
the past two weeks.
397
00:19:24,105 --> 00:19:26,065
She's been with John Redcorn.
398
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:29,068
J-J-John Redcorn?
How do you...
399
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,319
I set it up.
400
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,614
Charlene and John Redcorn...
are having an affair.
401
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,074
Not in the face!
402
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,244
You did hear him, right, Bill?
403
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:39,495
Yeah.
404
00:19:39,662 --> 00:19:40,705
I'm sorry.
405
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,373
I-I just went a little nuts
406
00:19:42,456 --> 00:19:44,125
when I found out
you'd be raising my daughter.
407
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:45,501
What's that now?
408
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:48,921
Uh, Dale tested
Kate's DNA and, uh,
409
00:19:49,005 --> 00:19:51,465
she and Joseph have
the same father.
410
00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:54,719
[MUTTERS]
411
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:58,139
Joseph and Kate
have the same father.
412
00:19:58,222 --> 00:19:59,348
You.
413
00:20:07,398 --> 00:20:09,442
Charlene and John Redcorn, huh?
414
00:20:09,525 --> 00:20:11,110
They seem like a good couple.
415
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,945
So you're not filled with rage?
416
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,157
Actually, I feel... okay.
417
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,159
I don't think
I'm cut out for parenthood.
418
00:20:18,242 --> 00:20:19,619
Actually, I hate kids!
419
00:20:19,702 --> 00:20:21,037
I mean, not all kids,
420
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,497
but just, just the ones
that are around all the time..
421
00:20:23,581 --> 00:20:26,334
Dangit, Bill Cosby made it
look fun, and I fell for it.
422
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,044
We all fell for it.
423
00:20:28,252 --> 00:20:30,880
Plus, I had a woman
stolen by John Redcorn.
424
00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:32,423
That's kind of an honor.
425
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:34,550
We should all be so lucky.
426
00:20:37,928 --> 00:20:41,223
So Charlene and the kids are
moving in with John Redcorn.
427
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,892
Sure was nice of Redcorn
428
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,061
to agree to raise
my child for me.
429
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,979
Can't say I'd do the same.
430
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:48,230
[TRUCK DRIVES AWAY]
431
00:20:54,111 --> 00:20:57,323
She was like...
the other half of my soul.
432
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:59,075
And now she's gone.
433
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:00,826
This must be what those songs
434
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:02,953
by the chick with the
boobs were about.
435
00:21:03,037 --> 00:21:04,580
I know it hurts, buddy.
436
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:07,875
But on the bright side,
you still got me!
437
00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:10,211
Yeah. Thanks.
438
00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:14,924
JOSEPH: She had a lot of
eyebrows for a chick, anyway.
439
00:21:53,337 --> 00:21:55,756
[JOSEPH LAUGHS WEIRDLY]
440
00:21:55,806 --> 00:22:00,356
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31817
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
