All language subtitles for King of the Hill s11e10 Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.eng

Yup.

Yup.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, hillbillies,

my delinquent nephew
coming to town.

Don't buy him beer!

I know rednecks like
to buy beer for kids.

He'll ask. He like to party.

Don't buy him beer!

Hey, you guys want
to come

to my vernal equinox party
tomorrow?

No.

Before you answer,
remember,

the vernal equinox is
when the stars align

in the configuration of an
arrow pointing to earth,

as if to say, "Come visit here."

I'll read a thoughtful essay.

We'll shriek ceremoniously
and eat tapas!

God, no.

BILL:
Hey, guys!

Ow!

My knee!

Bill, you got
to promise me

you won't do that
in front of the aliens.

They hate
slapstick.

DALE:
Nancy,

have you begun
making the tapas?

This will be the visitors'
first experience

with food
on this planet.

I want them
to have a little taste

of everything.

Is this going to shrink down?

This is huge!

What-What will I
tell the aliens?

"I hope you like this,
because if you don't,

there's
nothing else?!"

Dale, I'm doing
the best I can.

I'm sorry I don't know
alien protocol.

BOBBY:
Come on, seven!

(Joseph grunts
strangely)

(laughter)

Seven!

That's the third seven in a row
you've blown out of your nose.

You're amazing!

It's either lucky dice
or a lucky nose.

There's only one way
to find out.

(grunting)

NANCY:
Boys, please stop that!

I don't have time to take anyone
to the emergency room!

(strange grunt)

CELL PHONE:
? She's my cherry pie ?

Oh, that must be, uh, Minh.

? Cool drink of water ?

? Such a sweet surprise ?

? Taste so good,
make a grown man cry ?

? Sweet cherry pie,
oh, yeah ?

Dinner is served.
? She's my cherry pie ?

? Put a smile on your face
ten miles wide... ?

Now, be sure you've
got your phone off

when the aliens
get here.

It could startle
them, which could result in our death.

Not to mention,
it's pretty rude.

Hey, Nancy,
did you know

that John Redcorn, the
children's musician,

has been trying
to reach you here at the station?

Well, I-I have no idea why.

I barely know that guy.

Well, he seems
to know you.

I want you to do
a feature on him.

What?! But I do news.

We're moving you off
the news desk to features.

It seems, people aren't
interested in hard news anymore.

They say it's boring
and makes them sad.

That is not my fault.

I always said
we shouldn't do the sad stuff.

No, people love you.

Look at this mail.

"We love the
blonde woman."

And, "Nancy real good."

And, "I want to
lay with blondie."

Really? Oh, that's
flattering!

But, um, shouldn't I start

with a better get
than John Redcorn?

No, Redcorn's hot.

He's burning up
the pre-tween market.

And can you see if he'll
play my stepkid's birthday?

Of course, I get stuck
organizing the party

because my stepkid's
real dad's too busy.

Too busy? Too drunk!

And... it's equinox!

(high-pitched silly shrieking)

(loud breathy sounds)

(strange musical vocalizing)

(grunts)

(tires screeching,
engine revving)

(engine revving,
tires squeak)

Gih!

(speaking Laotian):

Alien?

Aa-len.

Alien.

Oh, my God, it worked!

Your language-- it's beautiful!

You want me to
get in there?

Okay, okay, I'll get in.

Good-bye, Earth!

2048.

Hey, your clock's
on military time.

Why would you
have milita...?

Oh, my God!

That's not the time.

That's the year!

You're not an alien.
You're a time traveler!

Let me out of this thing! Eject!

(engine revving)

? What do you do
with a drunken bear? ?

? Early in the morning! ?

Oh, I'm so glad

that your regular makeup
lady got meningitis

so I can do
your makeups.

That's great, sug.

Did you
get a cat?

A blonde cat?

Um, no.

I don't have a cat.

Nancy.

John Redcorn.

Go, Nancy.

I'm Nancy Hicks-Gribble,

reporting live from
Captain Bear's Pizza.

John Redcorn,

you enchant Arlen's children
and tweens.

Tell me
about your personal style.

I wore this vest
especially for you.

This is the Native American
symbol for forbidden love.

(giggles)
Oh.

Well, that's a fun fact.

Um, speaking
of fun,

what's your favorite
local hot spot?

REDCORN:
Remember when we found your hot spot?

Bobby, room.

But he's getting out his guitar.

Now!

(grunts)

You better call me
if he sings "The Oatmeal Blues."

I hope for Dale's sake
this isn't what it looks like.

The... rekindling and whatnot.

Nancy swore to me
she would never whatnot

with that man again.

REDCORN:
Guitar playing is about strumming the instrument

in many intimate ways.

I caress the strings
gently with a feather.

? Hi yai hay,
and so it rings true ?

? Calling people back
is the right thing to do! ?

For Channel 84, I'm
Nancy Hicks-Gribble.

Good night!

And... clear.

Luanne, would
you help me

with this earpiece?
REDCORN: Here.

Let me help you.

(gasps)

Is that my hair?

You always did
make me feel strong.

(bird screeches)

(panting)

I've done it!

I've traveled to 2048!

Al Gore was right.

I wonder what ocean
this used to be.

And man has devolved
back to crawling.

No, wait, that's just me.

It's times like this I wish

I had a friend
named The Professor.

Note to self: don't make
too many notes to self.

Probably can't
get more cassettes.

So, they changed the name
of Arlen to Fartland.

Oh, cold, hilarious fate.

What happened here that would
make them do such a thing?

What can I do
for you today?

Your lips are looking
a bit thin.

You want me to plump them up
with some more of your butt fat?

Well, sure, but first,
could you look at my hair?

I think it's been
falling out lately.

Hmm. Hair's tough.

Let me try something.

Well, that should have hurt.

What's happening to me?

Well, it's difficult
to determine the cause

of female hair loss, and

then it's hard to cure.

So, what should I do?

Well, there are some
shampoos on the market

with outrageous claims.

You could try those,

but if they don't
work, you should be prepared for this.

See, right now, you're... here.

In six months, you'll be...

here.

Oh, my God!

Oh, I tried
it again.

You're definitely
losing your hair.

(knocking)

What are you doing
here, John Redcorn?

I wrote a song for you.

It's about a beautiful tree
named Fancy.

Ignore the end.

The tree becomes a home
for a squirrel

with body image issues.

(strumming guitar)

I'm sorry, John Redcorn,
but you've got to go.

We broke up already.

It was hard,
but it's done.

REDCORN:
Please, Nancy. Don't we owe it

to ourselves
to be happy?

What's John Redcorn
doing here?

Don't be obvious,
but look over

at my 1:00, your 6:30.

Dang it, Boomhauer.
I said don't be obvious!

I thought that whole business
was over with.

Of course I still
have that arrowhead.

Huh.

I thought in the future,
there'd be more things hovering.

You must be
Hank's grandson.

I knew your grandfather.

He was, hmm... okay.

A little jowlier
than you.

Cut that out.

BILL:
Hey, guys.

Ow!

My knee!

Oh, my God.

Bill's about to say, "I'm okay!"

I'm okay.

Wait.

I wasn't transported
to the future.

I've been transported
to the past.

Yesterday!

(Nancy giggling)

Oh, God, that's
under the vest.

Oh, no!

(sighs)
We can't let this happen.

If Nancy sees him
spouting all this nonsense,

it's just going
to drive her back to John Redcorn.

Yeah, well, man, she
ain't got too got-dang ol' far to go, man.

DALE:
Oh, my God!

If this is yesterday,
then I could...

run into myself.

If that happens,

the space/time continuum
will be compromised,

and the world will explode!

You know, Dale,
we should probably keep this time travel stuff between us,

because if the government
finds out, they'll, uh...

They'll do what, uh,
you know, the government does.

Those bastards!
You're right.

I think the other me
is close by.

I hear the sound of my voice.

If I ask, I was never here.

DR. SCHIFF:
Nancy,

your test results show
there's no medical reason

for your hair loss.

Your iron level is normal;

your glands all secrete
perfectly;

and your heart is
in excellent condition.

I don't care about my heart.

My heart isn't admired
on television!

My heart wasn't voted "prettiest
heart" in high school!

My heart isn't so high and thick

it once had a low-flying bird
get stuck in it!

Nancy, female hair loss
is not uncommon.

It's usually caused
by stress or heredity.

Well, it must
be stress.

The hair in my family gets
bigger every generation.

Well, in that case,

I've got some great
anti-anxiety medications

I can prescribe.

Let's go
to Dr. Schiffie's cabinet,

see what we
can do.

Oh, you're really
going to like these.

Alakazam!

Alprazolam!

This scarf is so pretty.

Do you think
it thinks I'm pretty?

Man, these pills are great.

(glass breaking)
So doctor say hair loss caused

by something stressing you out?

I say it toss up

between idiot husband
and idiot son.

Who you love and
don't want to hurt.

I should wait in the car.

I don't want my baby
to catch your stress

I am not giving birth
to a bald baby.

You think I'd be stressed out,
but I'm not.

I feel freaking fantastic.

(laughing)

You know, I'm addicted
to these pills.

(deep breath)

Well, if it's not stress,
it must be heredity.

I know what I have to do.

What the heck are you wearing?

I'm going spelunking.

I've got an extra headlamp
and backpack thingy

with your name
on it...

in masking tape.

You interested?

No.

Neither am I.

That's why I know I won't
run into myself there.

And after this...

ice dancing.

And then, flossing!

Sorry to just drop in
on you like this, Mom.

I lost my cell phone.

I've had the worst week.

You've had a hard week.

My foot bath died.

Then I had another one
of my recipes stolen.

Mother, please.
Just listen to me.

Oh, all right.

But Mommy needs her Xanax first.

You want one?

No. No.

Well...

no.

Look, I've lost...
some hair recently,

and I was wondering

if female hair loss runs
in our family at all.

Bless me for being so honest
and such a good mother.

Sugarbear, truth is:
my hair fell out long ago.

This is a wig.

Oh, my God!

Don't tell your father.

So, it is hereditary.

Not exactly.

We're not so dissimilar,
you and I.

Did I ever tell you
about Frank Torres?

Your life-drawing teacher?

I remember every day of the ten
years we shared our secret love.

Our affair was like floating
on a cloud made of a rainbow;

our lovemaking, exciting,
but virtually motionless.

I-I can't believe
what I'm hearing!

Frank. How he loved
to dance wildly to no music at all,

just the sound
of the pounding

of his fist
on his leg.

All right,

you've made your dramatic speech
for the night.

Can we get back
to my problem now?

Sugarbear,

I mention all this

because the stress
of ending my affair with Frank

is what brought on my hair loss.

What?

By the time
my shrink discovered

my subconscious yearning
was to blame,

it was too late
to get him back:

he died.

Just like my old foot bath.

So, what you're
telling me is...

if I want my hair back,

I have to get back together
with John Redcorn?

Or you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.

Hey, Hank Hill,

my nephew missing.

If you see 17-year-old

in tricked-out hot rod,
call the police.

I always do.

Hey, Nancy!

I'm off
to lifeguard school

and I needed
my Speedos.

What?
No chance

of seeing
myself there.

What is going on
with you?

Hank! Dale!

(sighs)
Nancy,

there's something I
think you should know.

Okay,
it's a long story.

It begins

when I got
into a time machine.

Dale!

Oh, right, I've got to be quick.

Damn my love
of flowery storytelling.

Nancy...

tomorrow's not
guaranteed!

You should live for now!

Meaning, if you're thinking
about doing something,

but are hesitant
for some reason,

you should go
ahead and do it!

Like wearing
that crazy hat.

You, too, John Redcorn.

If there's something
you're thinking about doing,

you might as well do it!

Do it now!

You heard him, Nancy.

Now, let me get this straight.

John Redcorn have to...

love the hair
back onto you?

PEGGY:
Uh-uh.

That story cannot
be true.

Oh, I bet Bunny's writing
a fake memoir.

I'll warn Oprah.

No, it's true.

And if I don't get
back together with him,

I'll go bald.

Just like his broad, smooth
Native American chest.

I know that giving yourself
to Redcorn

would be both exhilarating
and wonderful,

but you are a married woman!

But my hair is my job, and my
job is my family's livelihood.

So I'd be sleeping
with John Redcorn

as if our lives depended on it.

I know what Jesus would do:

he would resist the temptation,
even if he had to go bald.

And he had great hair.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

I'm just a swirling tempest
of emotions, sugs.

Frustration.

Humiliation.

Fear.

Desire.

Guilt.

Oh, just do it,

but don't do it too much
or you end up with moustache.

Wow.

This is gonna be
a great party!

(beep)

(bell rings)

(engine revving)

So, I'll meet you there?

Did he tell you
where the party is?

(xylophone playing)

(singing):
? Then the squirrel loved herself exactly as she was ?

? Thanks to the beautiful... ?

? Fancy ?

Excuse me, ma'am.

Oh, I'm a friend
of John Redcorn.

Lady, all these women are
"friends of John Redcorn."

Nancy!

Hey!

I assume you didn't
come here

to get your caricature done
with a monkey.

But, if you want one,
I can get it at half price.

I changed my mind, sug.

Let's start
what we finished.

(knocking on glass)

Fatal flaw!

The end is approaching
quicker than anticipated.

Okay, I don't know
if you knew this,

but I can't use any
toilet but my own,

I can only hold
my bodily fluids

for six days
and 52 minutes.

Yes, Dale, I'm well aware.

So I have to go potty!

I'm destined to
run into myself

in my bathroom.

Listen to me.

You have to stop talking
about this.

But I feel bad
about not warning Nancy.

You haven't told Peggy?

No, because I don't want
to scare her.

And you shouldn't want
to scare Nancy.

I don't!

Then just be cool.

Everything is okay.

Now, I'd like to get back
to my family

and my chili taco.

So you're telling me
the end of the world is near,

and you're
just gonna...

hang out with
your loved ones?

And eat tacos?

Yep.

Huh.

This train stops
at the hotel.

We can go back
and order room service,

watch a movie.

Or we could just get
right to the sex,

whichever.

Nancy!

(train blows whistle)

Dale?

What are you doing here?

Hello,
John Redcorn.

Dale.

Nancy, I don't want us

to spend one more
minute apart.

I want to be with
you for the rest of my life.

So what if that's only...

35 minutes away.

Now, I'm not saying the world
is going to end in 35 minutes,

but if it did,

I know exactly
where I want to be:

in the arms of my trusty wife.

You are as beautiful
as you are trusty.

Now, let's go home.

I want you in the bathroom
with me when it happens.

What?

Nancy...

my lover, my teacher,
my friend--

I don't want to see me
without you.

Come on.
Let's go!

Hold that
train, sir.

I hope I made the right choice.

Well, this is the only
wig shop in Arlen,

so, you don't really
have much choice.

You're right, sug.

DALE:
Oh, cold, hilarious fate.

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