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1
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How are we supposed
2
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,838
to introduce ourselves
to the neighbors
3
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,473
if they never leave the house?
4
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,408
Well, it's been three weeks.
5
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,843
If we don't do it soon,
6
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,511
we're going to be
forced into giving them
7
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,914
awkward waves and
avoiding eye contact
8
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,183
until someone dies
or moves away.
9
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,117
Oh, shoot --
10
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,218
look, they're leaving!
11
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,920
Oh! Hello!
12
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,321
Hi, neighbors!
I'm Peggy Hill!
13
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,589
I want to welcome you...
14
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,090
Oh.
15
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,327
I feel awful that
none of us have
16
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,462
welcomed them into
the neighborhood yet.
17
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:03,831
Heck, by this time,
18
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,866
we had already given Kahn
a housewarming gift
19
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,434
and started hating him.
20
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,337
Wait, you haven't
met Lila and Jim?
21
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,674
I just cleaned out all the pests
in their attic free of charge.
22
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:16,176
Nothing says,
"Welcome to the Neighborhood"
23
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,046
as well as a gunnysack
full of dead squirrels.
24
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,614
You've met them already?
25
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,749
And you've already killed stuff
for them?
26
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,218
You shouldn't be afraid of them.
27
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,419
They're really nice.
28
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,988
They let me use their bathroom --
no questions asked.
29
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,691
Ah, man, it don't take nothin'
but a got dang ol' second, man.
30
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,659
Just talkin' bout a ol' "Welcome
to the neighborhood," man.
31
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,594
You know, done.
32
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,496
I know how to welcome
new neighbors, Boomhauer.
33
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:37,865
[HORN HONKS]
34
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,034
Hey!
35
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,638
Who you waving at?
36
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,174
They're strangers to you.
37
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,575
Peggy!
38
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,846
Hank, do you want the last
of the cookies Bill made us?
39
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,381
- Mine!
- Caleb!
40
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,183
That was for our guests.
41
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,652
That boy sure has
a mind of his own.
42
00:01:58,752 --> 00:01:59,720
[CHUCKLES]
43
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,921
Hey, he's quick, too.
44
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,055
And he's only ten?
45
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,191
Wow, he's as big as Bobby.
46
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,225
Hey, Bobby?
47
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,094
Why don't you toss
the ball with Caleb?
48
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,329
Okay.
49
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,832
- [GRUNTS]
- [MOANS]
50
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,434
Uh...
51
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,703
Bobby didn't limber up.
52
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,010
[SHRIEKS]
53
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,945
What'd you forget at the market?
54
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,713
Dale, there are
dead squirrels sitting
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,582
on my cottage cheese.
56
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,917
DALE:
Don't blame me,
57
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,551
blame the city dump.
58
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:32,886
They raised their fees,
59
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,421
so I have to save up
the carcasses
60
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,189
in order to be economical.
61
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,825
Get them out, Dale.
62
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,168
I'm guessing you don't want
this guy camping out
63
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,770
in the freezer then, huh?
64
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,107
Huh?
65
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,044
"Taxidermy."
66
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,147
Hey, I have a lot
of dead animals.
67
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,082
I'll make a killing
stuffing them
68
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,351
after I've made a killing
killing them!
69
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,421
This better be leftovers, Dale.
70
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,122
Uh, let me take that.
71
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,996
Gentlemen, who wants to get
72
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,465
their Christmas shopping
out of the way?
73
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,402
Dang it, Dale,
74
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,571
get those filthy things
off our cooler.
75
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,673
We keep beer in there,
for God's sake.
76
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,108
Relax, Hank.
77
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,277
They've been boiled,
scrubbed, de-boned,
78
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,546
powdered and stuffed
with surgical cotton.
79
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,114
They're cleaner than Bill.
80
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,616
That one in the middle
is staring at me.
81
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,819
Dale, we're going to take
a two minute walk.
82
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,187
When we come back,
83
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:43,623
I want those things gone
and the cooler sanitized.
84
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,627
[GRUNTS]
85
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,631
Did you make this, Dale?
86
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,333
I already know -- it's horrible.
87
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,402
No. No, no,
I like it.
88
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:58,538
It just seems like
it needs more... oomph.
89
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,340
Who was this squirrel?
90
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,242
Was he a climber?
A jumper?
91
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,810
Did he take chances?
92
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,978
There you go.
93
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,613
Now there is a story being told
94
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:09,016
about how tasty
his little acorn is.
95
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:12,219
My God, that is
exactly how he looked
96
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,654
when I killed him
in the first place.
97
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,124
Hey, I've got
a crow defrosting --
98
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,959
like to take a crack at him?
99
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,794
Lead the way.
100
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,232
What are you building?!
101
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,666
Oh! Oh!
Oh, Caleb.
102
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,168
I didn't know you were there.
103
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,704
I'm building a shelf
for my paint cans.
104
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,005
Thanks for asking.
105
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,041
You know, Bobby never showed
much interest in...
106
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,410
Uh... Be careful there, Caleb.
107
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,944
That's a measuring instrument,
108
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,112
not a yo-yo.
109
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:40,714
You don't want to kink the tape,
110
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,083
or it won't retract
back into its housing.
111
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,785
Thunder!
112
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,389
Now, now, listen, son,
this is a work place,
113
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,224
not a playground, okay?
114
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,127
If you want me to teach you
how to use that saw properly,
115
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,296
I'd be more than happy
to show you.
116
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,265
Now, Caleb, when sawing wood...
117
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,633
[CAN CLATTERING]
118
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,034
Okay.
119
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,403
Okay, don't panic.
Accidents happen.
120
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,505
Let me grab my shop towels.
121
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,513
No, Caleb, you need to dab.
122
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,548
You're smearing.
123
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,883
You've got to lift the towel...
124
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,419
Uh...
125
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,921
Uh, you know what, Caleb?
126
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,155
Just forget it,
127
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,125
I-I'm going to tackle this mess
by myself, okay?
128
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,795
Okay then.
129
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,877
Uh, hello, Caleb.
130
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,479
What are you doing?
131
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,547
I'm watering the lawn.
132
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,917
Caleb, no, you don't ride
on a lawn --
133
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,285
especially when it's wet.
134
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,354
I like nicknames.
135
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,889
Call me "C-Unit."
136
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,358
Uh, okay, C-Unit.
137
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,793
[LAUGHING]
138
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,094
Yeah!
139
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,029
Now you need a nickname.
140
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,932
I got it -- "Dusty old bones!"
141
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,234
[LAUGHING]
Yeah! Yeah!
142
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,237
Uh. Yeah, I think "Mr. Hill"
143
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:11,838
is probably the best way to go.
144
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,206
[SING-SONG LIKE]
Dusty old bones,
145
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,474
full of green dust!
146
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:15,876
Dusty old bones,
147
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,944
full of green dust!
148
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,213
"Green dust?"
149
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,985
"Dusty old bones,
full of green dust"?
150
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,720
What kind of nickname is that?
151
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,989
Sounds like a pretty
crappy one to me,
152
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,224
considering how much
he's got to work with.
153
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,559
CALEB:
Hey, old man!
154
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,027
Dusty old bones,
155
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,495
full of green dust!
156
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,597
Does that seem funny
to any of you?
157
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,599
No, but it is rather catchy.
158
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:42,135
I don't get it,
why did he pick on me?
159
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,871
I mean, Dale has a dead possum
on his shoulder,
160
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,773
and Caleb completely ignored it.
161
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,308
- Got it!
- What in the...
162
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,010
Caleb, get back here!
163
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,778
[LAUGHING]
164
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:55,415
My God, you just
opened that beer!
165
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,585
You going to cry,
dusty old bones?
166
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,454
Wait, I recognize this.
167
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,057
They pick on you,
they mess with your stuff--
168
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,258
He's a bully!
169
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,527
- He's your bully, Hank!
- What?!
170
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,329
CALEB:
White shirt! White shirt!
171
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:10,931
How'd you get
your shirt so white,
172
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,065
white shirt?
173
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,668
Yep. And a weird bully at that.
174
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,610
So, this is your bully stain.
175
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,845
I do not have a bully.
176
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,080
I am an adult.
177
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,016
Adults can't be bullied
by ten-year-old kids.
178
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,587
Yeah, you sure talk a big game
when Caleb's not around.
179
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:34,888
[BOTH LAUGH]
180
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,389
Man, you gonna take
that from him, man?
181
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,092
Just grab a rag and shut up,
both of you.
182
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,594
Fair enough.
183
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,398
DALE:
It's beautiful.
184
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,034
Absolutely beautiful.
185
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,037
Peggy, you're the Hemingway
of the taxidermy diorama.
186
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,305
Oh, thanks.
187
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:55,008
And you, Dale, are the Mozart
of that suction thingy
188
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,743
that removes all the guts.
189
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,447
Do you really think it's good?
190
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,749
I think it's this good.
191
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,558
Excuse me.
192
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,694
Is this where we sign up for
the taxidermy competition?
193
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,263
Yes it is, ma'am.
194
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,398
Is, uh, that your entry?
195
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:20,800
You sir, are looking
at first place.
196
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,404
[MEN LAUGH]
197
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,841
So, that's gonna be
first place, huh?
198
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,743
Before you sign up,
why don't you two take a look
199
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,278
at last year's winner.
200
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:37,150
Man, there's more
than pipe cleaners
201
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,952
holding that sucker together.
202
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,054
We don't stand a chance.
203
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,689
Oh, yes we do.
204
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:45,725
Dale, you've got to find me
bigger game.
205
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,460
[GULPS]
206
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,663
You've got to be kidding me.
207
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,565
Who's gonna lick a stamp
that has Bill Clinton on it?
208
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,501
I'm only telling you
what I've heard.
209
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,840
Uh, Caleb,
this is not proper behavior
210
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,909
when two adults
are trying to speak.
211
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,911
Why don't you play with that
somewhere else?
212
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:11,985
So, anyway, yeah, why don't they
put Dale Earnhardt on a stamp?
213
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,554
I mean, he won
seven Winston Cup...
214
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,524
All right, Caleb, I'm gonna
count to three.
215
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,995
One, two...
216
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,229
Three!
217
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,698
Uh, three.
218
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,236
Ah, Hank, I better
be getting on my way.
219
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,272
I... See you later.
220
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,384
Hey, Hank.
221
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,252
We're really looking forward
to your barbecue.
222
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,590
So, uh, I want to talk to you
about, uh, Caleb.
223
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,459
He's been, kind of, uh...
224
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:53,860
teasing me.
225
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,462
Oh, teasing's just his way
226
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,097
of showing how much
he likes you.
227
00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,734
Yeah, uh, actually,
it's more than just teasing.
228
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,669
It's more like harassing.
229
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,571
That's just his way
of testing you.
230
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,039
You know how kids are.
231
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,741
He's just so smart.
232
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,410
The best thing to do when he
gets that way is to ignore him.
233
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,279
Uh, well,
he's kind of hard to ignore
234
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,716
when he's whacking a little red
ball right next to your head.
235
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,119
- [CHUCKLING]
- BOTH: Caleb.
236
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,127
DALE:
Hey, Peggy.
237
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,028
Oh, good, you're back.
238
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,431
What have you got?
239
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,168
Um, so you know how there's
never anything big and dead
240
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,604
around when you need it?
241
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,307
Three groundhogs and...
242
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,709
What the hell is that?
243
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,577
Half a groundhog.
244
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:55,255
Hey, Dad, can I flip my burger?
245
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,856
Uh, are you sure?
246
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,192
You remember what
happened to that pancake.
247
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,161
Oh, yeah.
248
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,097
Uh, uh, uh, Caleb.
249
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,065
You, uh, you want a burger?
250
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,502
Where are your parents anyway?
251
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:10,770
[GRUNTING]
252
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,372
Give me that hat, old man.
253
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:13,740
What are you...
254
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,309
Caleb, please stop
grabbing at my hat.
255
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,611
It's the property
of Strickland Propane.
256
00:11:18,925 --> 00:11:21,161
HANK:
Lila! Jim!
257
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,715
Got it!
[LAUGHS]
258
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,751
Dang it, Caleb.
Give me back my hat!
259
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:29,889
[[LAUGHS]
260
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:33,560
Too slow, dusty old bones.
261
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,429
I'm not playing, Caleb.
Give me my hat back.
262
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,567
Keep-a-way!
263
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,171
Can you believe that kid?
264
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,439
Keep-a-way!
265
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,809
What the hell
are you doing, Bill?
266
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,978
Sorry, Hank, I just
got all caught up.
267
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,781
CALEB: ? Dusty old bones
Full of green dust ?
268
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,117
Oh look, Lila, Caleb wrote
another one of his songs.
269
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,119
? Dusty old bones,
full of green dust ?
270
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,189
He is so creative.
271
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,107
[POPPING]
272
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,108
[LAUGHING]
273
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,676
Dance, old man! Dance!
274
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:24,677
[POPPING]
275
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,181
I made noise!
276
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,682
I'm a superhero!
277
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,284
I'm Pop-Pop Man!
278
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,019
[LAUGHING]
279
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,822
You are way out of line,
young man!
280
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,600
You need to learn some manners!
281
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,804
Caleb, get off the bike.
282
00:12:56,676 --> 00:13:00,713
Now, when you learn a little
respect you'll get this back.
283
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,258
Well, I took care
of the Caleb situation.
284
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,094
I admit, I almost lost it,
but then I realized
285
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:18,598
he was just a kid and just
needed a little firm guidance.
286
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,433
Well, at least
something's going right.
287
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,401
How'd you do it?
288
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,771
I just took his bike
and locked it in the garage.
289
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,007
Yep, Caleb's gonna
learn a big lesson
290
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,777
when he has to come back here
and ask for that bike back.
291
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,079
And he's gonna have to do it
with respect.
292
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,615
Hopefully, his parents will
come along so they can learn
293
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,350
a thing or two
about raising a kid.
294
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,451
[DOORBELL RINGS]
295
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,720
Oh, good,
that's probably them now.
296
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,124
I want my bike back.
297
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,894
Well, you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that, Caleb.
298
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,196
Oh, yeah?
299
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,076
HANK: There it is,
officers, not a scratch on it.
300
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,612
All I was trying to do
was make a point.
301
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,580
By stealing a
ten-year-old's bike?
302
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,048
What, are you a tough guy, huh?
303
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,284
You want to try and take
something away from me, big boy?
304
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,885
No. You've got it all wrong.
305
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,287
I'm the victim here.
306
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,922
That kid is out of control,
307
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,924
and his parents
won't do anything about it.
308
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,093
Officers, could we please
have our son's bike back?
309
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,961
We'd really just like
to get this behind us.
310
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,096
Yes, sir.
311
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,064
Give the boy back his bike.
312
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,499
[SIGHS]
313
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,843
Here you go, Caleb.
314
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,579
And he liked you so much.
315
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,626
[DOORBELL RINGS]
316
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,598
Hank, you can't hide
in here forever.
317
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,466
Come out and have
a beer with us.
318
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,735
[SIGHS]
I'm not hiding, Bill.
319
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,971
Hank, that's a lie,
and we both know it.
320
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,040
Now come on,
if Caleb comes at you,
321
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,641
we'll all run away together.
322
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,343
I'm not worried about Caleb.
323
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,912
I'm just...
I'm re-tacking the sofa.
324
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,414
[SIGHS]
Sure, Hank.
325
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,649
When you decide
you're done "re-tacking,"
326
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,551
you give a holler.
327
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,392
[SCREAMS]
328
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,601
Wet old man.
329
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,706
You know, it's a felony
330
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,109
to use a mail slot for
anything other than mail?
331
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:50,283
Dude. Dude,
I'm Kelly Slater, dude. Dude.
332
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,124
Uh, hey, uh,
333
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,759
how would you guys like to make
334
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,327
five bucks?
335
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,363
All you have to do is put
a little scare
336
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,199
into a pesky ten-year-old.
337
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,633
Yeah, we'll do that, sure.
338
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,769
If you can give us a
ride to the gas station,
339
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,270
we'll take care of the rest.
340
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,073
Just make sure his alarm system
at his house is turned off.
341
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,509
Uh...
342
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,651
Is that a deer?!
343
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,054
No, Dale, that is the picture
344
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,022
on the sign...
again.
345
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,591
I can't believe this.
346
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,559
Three deaf kids have
already crossed here,
347
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,428
and not a single deer.
348
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,396
I'm sorry, Peggy.
349
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,332
I blew it again.
350
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,001
I'm not worthy to work
beside your genius.
351
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,503
I'd say stuff me,
352
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:46,405
but that would get us
Honorable Mention at best.
353
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,740
Oh, now, Dale.
354
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,208
I'm sorry, Peggy.
355
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:50,676
I failed you.
356
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,780
I'm used to letting
Hank down, but not you.
357
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,615
Dale, this is not your fault.
358
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,118
I put you in a no-win situation.
359
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,654
We've been looking
in all the wrong places.
360
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,423
We shouldn't have been
looking out there.
361
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,793
We should have been
looking in here.
362
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,427
Come on, Dale.
363
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,129
We got a contest to enter.
364
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,201
HANK:
Yup.
365
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,702
BILL:
Yup.
366
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,504
Mm-hmm.
367
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,575
[SIGHS] I just don't know
what to do about Caleb.
368
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,143
I feel helpless.
369
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,912
I can't physically stop him.
370
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,446
His parents
would have me arrested,
371
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,981
and they'd have a point.
372
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,050
I mean, he's a kid,
and I'm an adult.
373
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,419
But someone needs
to put him in his place.
374
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,087
Too bad we're not little people.
375
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,123
Then it would be a fair fight.
376
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:40,993
Bobby!
377
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,496
You want me to do what?
378
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,499
Look, I hate to ask you
to fight my battles for me, son,
379
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,401
but I have no other choice.
380
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,602
Will you do it?
381
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:53,172
I can see that you really
need my help, Dad.
382
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,441
I just don't think I can do it.
383
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,443
It seems so wrong.
384
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,079
Look, I know it goes against
everything I've taught you,
385
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,014
Bobby, but I know you can do it.
386
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,749
[SIGHS]
387
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,226
There he is, Bobby.
388
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,932
Now go over there and do
exactly like I showed you.
389
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,868
I can do this.
390
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,636
I can do this.
391
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,412
[SNAP]
392
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,381
Holy smoke.
What's going on?!
393
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,350
Snap, crackle, Pop, Pops!
394
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,718
Bobby, what are you doing?
395
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:39,719
[POPPING]
396
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,154
Hey, hey, that's a good way
to hurt someone.
397
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,323
Please, stop doing that.
398
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,392
A tisket, a tasket,
399
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,427
There goes your basket.
400
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,795
Hey!
401
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,198
Cut that out, Bobby!
402
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:53,599
Keep-away!
403
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:56,102
[LAUGHING]
404
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,673
[KNOCKING ON GLASS DOOR]
405
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:07,847
Hello, Jim and Lila.
406
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,048
What brings you here?
407
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,783
Your son is out of control!
408
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,853
Yep, Bobby's got a lot
of spirit, all right.
409
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:14,887
Spirit?
410
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,455
He spread trash
all over our yard
411
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:17,924
and viciously attacked Jim.
412
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,159
Well, he must really
like you a lot.
413
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,894
He's got a funny way
of showing it.
414
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,796
[CHUCKLING]
Well, if I were you,
415
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,264
I'd just learn to ignore it,
416
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,700
because once Bobby
decides he likes you,
417
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,835
he's never gonna stop.
418
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,206
If you're trying to compare
Bobby to our Caleb,
419
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,042
you're way off base.
420
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,411
Bobby is...
is just a troublemaker.
421
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,280
Caleb has a precocious sense
of adventure.
422
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,782
He's expressive.
423
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,084
He goes to the gifted
magnet school.
424
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,485
Well, good for him.
425
00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,321
But I wouldn't sell Bobby short.
426
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,557
I think he's about to
"express himself" right now.
427
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,726
What you got in
the squirt gun, son?
428
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,430
That's for me to know
and Jim and Lila to find out.
429
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,969
You folks want to find out?
430
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,603
Or do you want to tell Caleb
431
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,906
to stop riding
his bike on my lawn?
432
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,008
[HUMMING]
433
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,916
Caleb, please don't ride
your bike on Mr. Hill's lawn.
434
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,018
[HUMMING CONTINUES]
435
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,120
You mean Dusty old bones?
436
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,156
? Dusty old bones
Full of green dust ?
437
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,424
? Dusty old bones ?
438
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:26,659
? Full of green dust! ?
439
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,728
I mean it, son.
Get off the grass!
440
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,849
Gentlemen,
prepare for greatness.
441
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,083
Voil�.
442
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:54,120
The signing of the
"Declaration of Independence."
443
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:57,056
DALE: We call it:
"No Tax-i-dermy-ation
444
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,258
without
Representation."
445
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,493
You're going to love this.
446
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,728
Watch what happens
when Ben Franklin's kite
447
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,530
gets hit by lightning.
448
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:07,433
[ELECTRICAL SIZZLING]
449
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,402
[GASPING]
450
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,204
For that I sincerely apologize.
451
00:21:15,388 --> 00:21:16,842
And that, too.
452
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:56,382
HANK:
Green dust?
453
00:21:56,432 --> 00:22:00,982
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