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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,865
I
I
2
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,163
Now I'm not going
to mention any names,
3
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:37,670
but due to last year's
unfortunate kissing incident,
4
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,706
mistletoe is banned from
this year's Christmas party.
5
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,867
Peppermint Schnapps
makes me sloppy.
6
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,773
Enough with your party, Hank.
7
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:48,678
Help me figure out what
to get Nancy for Christmas.
8
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,347
I'll never top that oil painting
I commissioned last year:
9
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,544
"Nude Dale In Repose."
10
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,053
Tasteful,
yet you can see everything.
11
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,621
MAN:
Here we are, lady.
12
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,492
123 Rainey Street.
13
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,372
Well, thank you, young man.
14
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:16,874
This is it.
15
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,534
That's her,
all right.
16
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,680
HANK: Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
17
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,579
My name is Hank Hill
and I own this house.
18
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,274
Is there something
I can help you with?
19
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:27,252
I'm Ruby Wakefield
and I used to live here
20
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,789
many years ago
with my twin sister.
21
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:31,987
My word,
22
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,183
look how big that
tree has grown.
23
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,093
I planted that thing
when it was a sapling.
24
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:40,394
I give that tree a deep
root feeding twice a year.
25
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,501
Hank,
I got your antlers!
26
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,162
Well, that's my family.
27
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,135
We're going to go
harvest a Christmas tree.
28
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,105
They look lovely.
29
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,906
I appreciate your taking such
good care of this house.
30
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,479
It means a lot to me.
31
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,274
Hey, Ms. Wakefield,
32
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,378
if you're in town tomorrow, why
don't you come back for dinner?
33
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,684
I'll give you the indoor tour.
34
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,726
The kitchen sink now has
a garbage disposal.
35
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,126
I'd like that,
Mr. Hill.
36
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,128
80, she's a twin?
37
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,472
I still cannot
believe you invited
38
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,563
that old woman over
for dinner, Hank.
39
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,266
That's like putting
out a saucer of milk
40
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,866
for a stray cat.
41
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,002
One lap, you'll never
get rid of her.
42
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,343
All she wants to do is take
a walk down memory lane.
43
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:33,181
Besides, most seniors
are lactose intolerant.
44
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,084
( Grunting )
45
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,156
Keep going, Bobby,
you're almost there.
46
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,452
I like old people as
much as anybody should,
47
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,357
but you've got
to be careful.
48
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,758
Good work,
Bobby.
49
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,460
( Disposal grinding loudly )
50
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,503
Listen to that baby hum.
51
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:53,396
I remember dropping
52
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,770
a friendship ring
down this drain.
53
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,209
Practically broke off my
finger nail getting it back.
54
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,781
I know how that
feels, Ms. Wakefield.
55
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,110
One time
56
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,685
the front door bent
my pinkie toe backwards.
57
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,255
The nail grew back really gross.
58
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,187
Leave your
shoe on, Bobby.
59
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,052
Believe it or not,
60
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:15,459
but that is a memory that
you'll cherish someday, Bobby.
61
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,688
So save up as
many as you can
62
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,264
because when you're
old like me,
63
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,493
you'll have riches
64
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,467
beyond all the gold
in the world.
65
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,268
Oh, darn.
66
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,206
I cannot believe
we're out of coffee.
67
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:32,107
Oh, well, it's getting close
to bed time anyway, huh?
68
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,203
( Yawns)
69
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,372
Oh, you have such
wonderful memories.
70
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,945
Now I can't wait
to get old and wrinkly,
71
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,712
and grow a little hump
on my back.
72
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,722
You're so sweet, dear.
73
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,919
Mrs. Hill, it amazes me
how much you
74
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:52,158
remind me of my sister,
so smart and pretty.
75
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,694
Well, thank you.
76
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,799
Oh, lookie here--
a new can of coffee.
77
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,530
I'll just brew some up.
78
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:03,108
Oh, coffee
sounds nice, dear.
79
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,503
I got it!
80
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,339
What if I seal myself in a crate
81
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:10,417
and have me delivered
on Christmas day to Nancy.
82
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,348
Wait, do they have mail
on Christmas?
83
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,681
It wouldn't be very merry
84
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,256
if I died in some
distribution center.
85
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,790
Why don't you just take Nancy
86
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,688
to a countryside
bed and breakfast
87
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,386
for a lovely nice
romantic weekend?
88
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,054
Nah, I'm not the kind of person
who pays someone 100 bucks
89
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,996
to sleep in their dirty sheets.
90
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,928
I'm the kind of person who
charges other people
91
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,070
to sleep in my dirty sheets.
92
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,400
That's it!
93
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,870
I'll turn our house
into a bed and breakfast.
94
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,304
All you need
is some potpourri
95
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,672
and a few boxes of waffles
and you're in business!
96
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,113
Don't you nay-say me, Boomhauer.
97
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,945
Once I find the right hook,
98
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,122
this is going to be the gift
that keeps on giving.
99
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:53,292
Say nay now naysayer.
100
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,356
What a handsome
family you are.
101
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,090
How very observant of you.
102
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,327
This is my room.
103
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,664
It's chock full
of memories for me.
104
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,866
Like the time I dressed
our dog, Ladybird,
105
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,770
in my underwear
and pretended
106
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,504
that we were
Calvin Klein models.
107
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:17,581
This is also where I read
my Bible every night before bed.
108
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:21,520
Yes, this room certainly brings
back many memories.
109
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,088
This is where my sister died.
110
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,522
- Ew! Gross.
- Good Lord.
111
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,093
Your sister died
in my room?
112
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:32,257
Well, actually, she just had
a massive heart attack in here.
113
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,426
Somehow she managed to crawl|
down the hallway
114
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,936
to about right
over there...
115
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,972
I don't know how she
dragged herself
116
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,938
with her arthritic
fingers.
117
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,807
She couldn't even open
a jar of apple butter.
118
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,936
Oh, you have
to forgive me,
119
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,811
but I think I need to sit
for a moment and rest.
120
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,513
She's been asleep
for over an hour.
121
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,350
I guess I'd better
wake her up
122
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,855
and send her
on her way.
123
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,055
Ms. Wakefield...
Ms. Wakefield.
124
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,391
Ms. Wake...
Hey!
125
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,498
What's going on?
126
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,234
Oh, I'm still here.
127
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,336
Yeah, you dozed off for a bit,
and it's getting kinda late.
128
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:13,497
I'm sure you're ready
to head on home.
129
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,642
Yes, I am.
I am ready.
130
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,011
Ms. Wakefield,
are you okay?
131
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,274
Huh?
132
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,147
Oh, oh, uh...
133
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,151
( sighs)
134
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,723
The happiest times of my life
were spent here in this house.
135
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:34,158
That's why there is no place
else in the world
136
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:37,059
that I would rather end my days.
137
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,324
End your days?
138
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,091
Yes.
I want to die here.
139
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,066
I promise not to be
a nuisance.
140
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,551
I
I
141
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,474
I
I
142
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:54,009
Ms. Wakefield,
you can't die in my house.
143
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,205
You're really not being
a good guest...
144
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,817
ma'am.
145
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:58,850
I called you a taxi.
146
00:06:58,952 --> 00:06:59,942
It's the least we can do,
147
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,485
but all we're going to do.
148
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,523
But it's important to me to die
where I was happiest.
149
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,886
Don't you want me to be happy?
150
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,322
Not that way!
151
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,231
Okay, I guess it's your house.
152
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,900
I'll just get my shawl.
153
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270
Oh, great, she went
behind the tree.
154
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,466
We don't decorate back there.
155
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:22,939
Ms. Wakefield, please...
156
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,875
I promise not
to drag this out.
157
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,104
I bet it won't take me
158
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,213
more than two days.
159
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,610
At most, three.
160
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,079
You keep her busy.
161
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,242
I'll sneak up from behind
and poke her with this driver.
162
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,319
You got me that
driver I wanted?
163
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,555
She's headed
for the bathroom.
164
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,690
Dang it.
165
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,451
BOBBY:
Hey, I'm in here!
166
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,927
Ms. Wakefield,
you need to leave.
167
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,326
Hank, the taxi's here!
168
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,065
I cannot believe
it's this hard
169
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,894
to think of a bed and breakfast
theme.
170
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,369
How about an Evening
at the Improv?
171
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:53,937
Great idea!
172
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,808
I know... crap idea.
173
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,709
Dang it, Boomhauer,
aren't you ever wrong?
174
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,111
MS. WAKEFIELD:
Please, don't make me leave!
175
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,584
I promise I won't be
any trouble!
176
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:11,050
Stop pinching me, Ms. Wakefield.
177
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,751
Ah, finally.
Hank come to his senses and...
178
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,018
Wait a minute,
that not Peggy.
179
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,526
Why you picking on
that old lady, Sug?
180
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:18,822
I'm not picking on her.
181
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,625
She wants to die in my house.
182
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,826
Please, show
some compassion!
183
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,737
I, uh... She...
184
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:42,312
We ate, we laughed,
we had some coffee...
185
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,392
then she told us she wanted
to die in my house
186
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,994
and ruined the whole
got-dang evening.
187
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,755
So, basically,
this woman told you
188
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,888
that she wanted to die in your
house, no strings attached?
189
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:53,864
Yep.
190
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,161
I've got it--
191
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,827
Tthe theme is a haunted
bed and breakfast!
192
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,996
Hauntings are all the rage now.
193
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,666
Haunted hotel rooms,
haunted cruises.
194
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,743
If I can get that crone
to agree to die in my house
195
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,710
and haunt the place,
we'd be booked year round.
196
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:11,612
What do you say
now, Boomhauer?
197
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,755
What in the heck
are you talking about, Dale?
198
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,448
Nancy's Christmas present.
199
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,686
Please, Hank, let Ms. Wakefield
die in my house.
200
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,592
Please, please, please...
201
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,356
Has everyone gone crazy?
202
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,054
It's Christmas for God's sake.
203
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:29,861
No one is dying in my house
or your house, Dale.
204
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,363
I'll probably die
in my house.
205
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,201
Wedged behind
the bathroom door.
206
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,968
Inaccessible to the paramedics.
207
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,868
Well, what can you do.
208
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,548
I can't believe
that I'm feeling guilty
209
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,517
about denying
Ms. Wakefield's...
210
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,179
request.
211
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,790
Well, what does
she expect us to do?
212
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,188
Bobby, I don't know
how a giraffe
213
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,125
got in the nativity scene,
but I like it.
214
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,754
Let's go find a zebra.
215
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,889
( Doorbell ringing )
216
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,435
Ms. Wakefield, what
are you doing here?
217
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,368
I just wanted to apologize
218
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,405
for causing such a scene
the other night.
219
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,599
I hope you're not angry with me.
220
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,172
Merry Christmas, Mr. Hill.
221
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:20,184
Oh, well, Merry Christmas
to you, too, Ms. Wakefield.
222
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,721
I drank a lot
of iced tea earlier.
223
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,617
Could I use your bathroom?
224
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,418
Oh, sure thing. It's right
down the hall on the...
225
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,958
Wait a minute.
226
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,596
I know what you're
trying to do.
227
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,095
You don't need to use
the bathroom.
228
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,893
You just want to die in
there, don't you?
229
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,664
I promise I won't take long.
230
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,133
If I hold my breath
231
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,976
for ten seconds I bet I'll slip
away just like that.
232
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,757
I have a proposition for you.
233
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,128
And a plate of pitted prunes.
234
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,966
Why die here,
you ask?
235
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,263
Well, you'd be getting in
on the ground floor
236
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,029
of a wonderful
investment opportunity,
237
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,105
and all you really have to do is
make two appearances a day
238
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:19,109
from the afterlife,
via this old antique mirror.
239
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,610
It's not hard work,
but I do expect quality.
240
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,011
Are there any questions?
241
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,343
Can I go now?
242
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,886
What, so you can go die
over at Hank's house?
243
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,685
I could get you a dead little
lapdog to keep you company.
244
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,095
That shuffle alone
would pack the place.
245
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,061
I still don't see why I can't
come to the mall with you guys.
246
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,263
Because we're
shopping for you.
247
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,272
And you peek.
248
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,431
Your mother's right.
249
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,404
Besides, somebody should
stay here.
250
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,773
You know, in case an old lady
tries to...
251
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,576
Bobby, just keep
the doors locked.
252
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,982
Dooley's going to pants Santa?
253
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:03,316
Dang, I can't go.
254
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:06,587
Make sure the elves take
plenty of pictures.
255
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,093
(gasps)
256
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,526
Let me in, Bobby.
257
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,359
I have a peppermint.
258
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,897
( Screams )
259
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,861
It's reasonable not
to want someone
260
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,438
to die in
your house, right?
261
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:22,472
Mm-hmm.
262
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,303
We cannot open that door.
I mean, if Bill gets wind...
263
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,503
Hank, I understand an elder
wishes to use your home
264
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,183
as an entrance
to the spirit world.
265
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,341
My people teach that a person
must be happy at death
266
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,316
or they are destined
267
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,251
to walk
throughout eternity
268
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:38,552
on their hands so their frown
appears to be a smile.
269
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,882
Food for thought.
270
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,487
( Phone ringing )
271
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,722
Hank Hill.
272
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,458
BOBBY:
She's on the roof!
273
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,875
Ms. Wakefield shoved her arm
through the mail slot
274
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,672
and tried to unlock the door.
275
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,907
She's been scratching
at all the windows.
276
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,611
Ms. Wakefield, show yourself!
277
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,186
Ms. Wakefield!
278
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:14,257
Dang it, Ms. Wakefield,
I have had it with you.
279
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,556
You've got my boy hiding
under the tree.
280
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,721
You've got all my friends
mad at me.
281
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,493
I'm sorry, you've left
me no choice.
282
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,203
Thank you for being so prompt,
officers.
283
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,398
There's the trespasser
I called about.
284
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,172
OFFICER:
Her?
285
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,812
You want us to arrest
that poor old woman?
286
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,781
Hank had to call
Johnny Law
287
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,352
on big, bad, old lady
with walker.
288
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,113
I don't want them
to arrest her,
289
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,087
I just want them
to take her away
290
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,284
so I can get on
with Christmas and whatnot.
291
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,383
Well, maybe you could compromise
with her.
292
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,552
Compromise?!
293
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,323
How do I do that?
294
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,956
Let her die on my sidewalk?
295
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:53,964
I'm just saying.
296
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,761
You're not saying anything!
297
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,233
Still.
298
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,567
If she were trying to break
into your homes and die,
299
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,504
you'd do the same thing,
I tell you what.
300
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,008
( Meekly ):
What have I done wrong?
301
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,735
Absolutely nothing.
302
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,851
Peggy's making
her special Christmas fudge
303
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,518
for the party tomorrow.
304
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,661
Yep, it sure is going
to be a good time.
305
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,131
Yeah, until you call
the cops on us.
306
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,661
That poor old woman.
307
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:35,002
She committed the crime of
loving Hank's house too much.
308
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,200
Are we not all guilty?
309
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,905
Hank, I do not want you
to blame yourself,
310
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,481
but Ms. Wakefield died
at a bus station
311
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,175
the very night you had her
arrested and dragged away.
312
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,182
What?!
313
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:48,944
Good Lord,
314
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,352
she was a retired
Sunday school teacher.
315
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,788
Now, Hank,
I don't want you
316
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,324
to dwell
on the awful things
317
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,191
you said to her
out of anger.
318
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,533
( Sighs)
319
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,007
BOBBY: I can't believe
she's really gone.
320
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,705
It just seems
like yesterday
321
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,749
she was trying to get her walker
through the doggie door.
322
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,716
I wish she were here
323
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,720
so I could give her little hump
a big hug.
324
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,881
Are we still going
to have our party tonight?
325
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,891
It just doesn't
feel right.
326
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,688
Oh, don't be silly, Bobby.
327
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,227
Ms. Wakefield would have
wanted it that way.
328
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,860
She probably loved parties.
329
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:36,628
Now come on, let's get back
in the Christmas spirit.
330
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,534
Why don't we pick
up a little green vest
331
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,400
for Ladybird to wear
at the party?
332
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,199
Thatll cheer everyone up.
333
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,934
I hope this fits.
334
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:49,071
Pet Town doesn't have
a very generous return policy.
335
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,674
I still don't understand
why a vest is cool
336
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,320
yet a Santa hat
would be demeaning.
337
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:55,949
If I have
to explain it...
338
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,213
(gasping )
339
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,653
Ms. Wakefield.
340
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,074
I
I
341
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:06,257
I
I
342
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,897
So, Ms. Wakefield
isn't dead?
343
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,629
Oh, my God,
she's somewhere in the house.
344
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,199
Oh, Lord, I hope she isn't dead.
345
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,400
Run!
346
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:18,738
No, we've got
to find her!
347
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,109
Bobby, you and Luanne
check the den.
348
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,306
Peggy, you check the garage,
349
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,780
and I'll check the back
of the house.
350
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,782
If any of you find
her, holler out.
351
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,798
( Panting )
352
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:43,735
( Barking )
353
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,768
Oh, God!
354
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:45,961
Oh, Ladybird!
355
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,539
Dumb dog, dumb!
356
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,802
You almost got your bell rung.
357
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,909
Wait a minute...
358
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:56,373
There you go, girl. Come on.
359
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,008
Get Ms. Wakefield's scent
and track down that old coot.
360
00:16:59,118 --> 00:16:59,983
Good girl!
361
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,484
Come on, for Mama!
362
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:02,884
No, no, Ladybird.
363
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,286
No.
No fetch.
364
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,323
Find old lady.
365
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,051
Sniff and fi... Oh!
366
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,059
Dumb dog.
367
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:12,096
Ms. Wakefield,
if you're under here,
368
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,758
please don't grab me
by the throat
369
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,766
and drag me
into the gates of hell.
370
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:18,329
( Girlish scream )
371
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,734
(gasps)
372
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,102
Don't tell Dad.
373
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,204
Ms. Wakefield, are you in here?
374
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:29,337
I know we haven't been
on the same page
375
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,109
about your dying and all,
376
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,152
but I hope we can work out
our differences.
377
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,186
( Crackling )
378
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,119
Peppermint.
379
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,906
Oh, Ms. Wakefield, why?
380
00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:59,407
(gasps)
381
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:00,341
Give me peace!
382
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,780
Why can't you just let me be?
383
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,509
Ms. Wakefield,
we thought you were dead.
384
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,086
We read your obituary.
385
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:10,156
I was desperate,
so I submitted a fake obituary
386
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,552
to get your guard down.
387
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,681
You lied!
388
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,453
( Doorbell rings )
389
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,584
Good Lord,
the party.
390
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:16,752
Peggy, Bobby,
Luanne,
391
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,090
you take care
of the guests
392
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,598
while I escort Ms. Wakefield
out the back door.
393
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:21,894
I'll join you
in a minute.
394
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,699
Our Christmas
has been disrupted
395
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,170
by you for the last time,
Ms. Wakefield.
396
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,934
Well, if you would just let me
concentrate,
397
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,977
I'd be out of your hair forever.
398
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,912
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way...
399
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,988
Merry Christmas,
John Redcorn.
400
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,058
I made you some special
reindeer-shaped cookies
401
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,992
with toothpicks sticking in them
like little arrows.
402
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,119
Quite honestly, Peggy,
403
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,130
I was going to boycott
your party
404
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,326
to protest Hank's harsh
treatment towards our elders,
405
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,732
but I found out that Bill
is my secret Santa,
406
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,701
and he always gives
cool gifts.
407
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,569
Yeah, Bill
really go all out.
408
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,266
( Wakefield grunting )
409
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:04,775
Put me down!
410
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:08,107
My God, Hank is wrestling
with Ms. Wakefield's ghost!
411
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,273
What a waste.
412
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,282
She's not dead.
413
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,318
She's very much alive.
414
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,911
She falsified her obituary
and broke in here.
415
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,047
Please just continue
with the party.
416
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,125
I'll call her a taxi
and join you in a minute.
417
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,352
But I don't want to go.
418
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,962
Let her be, Hank.
419
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,792
Yeah, man.
Not gonna help Christmas, man.
420
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,460
All right, fine.
421
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,403
If that's how
everyone feels.
422
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,342
Ms. Wakefield, if you want to
die in my house,
423
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,005
then go ahead.
424
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:46,079
Really?
425
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,950
Merry Christmas.
426
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,783
Why... why thank you.
427
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,551
Wait, you're not just teasing me,
are you?
428
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,786
No, ma'am.
429
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:02,528
Come on, everybody,
it's a party.
430
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:03,534
Let's have some fun.
431
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:06,138
( laughs, mumbles)
432
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,317
Uh, Mr. Hill?
433
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,078
You know, maybe it is
434
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,914
a little inappropriate
right now.
435
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,684
I mean, it is
a Christmas party.
436
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,725
Yeah, I see what you mean.
437
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,693
Maybe I could die another time.
438
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,661
When you're not entertaining.
439
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:32,663
Sure.
440
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,096
But you know,
Ms. Wakefield,
441
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,690
you don't have
to come back to die.
442
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,291
You could come back
just to visit.
443
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,337
Maybe join us
for a cookout
444
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,301
or sit under the tree
you planted.
445
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,540
That would be nice.
446
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,606
Well, I've been enough
of a bother.
447
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,307
I'll get out of your hair.
448
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,577
Don't rush off.
449
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,310
Why don't you stay
for secret Santa?
450
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,978
I always get
an extra gift
451
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,782
in case my boss
stops by.
452
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,488
( �The First Noel" plays )
453
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,325
Okay, here's one
for Bill.
454
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:08,128
Could this be that ear-and-nose
trimmer he's been needing?
455
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,668
I hope it's hungry.
456
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,033
All right, here's one
for Peggy.
457
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,179
Peppermint schnapps makes me sloppy.
458
00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:00,716
I
I
459
00:22:00,766 --> 00:22:05,316
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