All language subtitles for King of the Hill s07e22 Maid in Arlen.eng

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Hey, you think
I'd meet more women

if I changed
my name to Tango?

Don't change your name
again, Bill.

( Engine rumbles )

Kohng Koy Kahn!

Mamal

Huh, Kahn has a mother?

Somehow I always pictured
a pod situation.

Minh, you are
very lucky

to have a man like
Kahn to care for you.

'You must be
sure always

to show your
appreciation.

Oh, what helpful suggestion.

I do that right away.

Minh, your stew looks nice,
but I would add

just a bit more oyster sauce
for a richer flavor.

If I may.

If I may just
demonstrate.

Hey, Grandma, I just...

Uh-oh. Already?

( Grunting ). If I may
just demonstrate...

I hate to leave two
such beautiful women,

but| must go and
bring home the bacon

for you both.

I will miss you, Kohng Koy Kahn.

I will go sit in
the dining room for a while.

Yeah, knock
yourself out.

( Spray can hissing )

What are you doing?

Oh, just some cleaning.

No, Laoma, it's
not necessary.

I clean house
yesterday just fine.

If I may just
demonstrate.

( Minh shouting in Laotian )

( Clears throat )

Well, hello.
I am Peggy Hill.

Laoma
So up ha no us in phone.

Mrs. Hill, I must
respectfully say

that you are missing
an opportunity

for the greatest
cleanliness of your windows.

I beg your pardon?

'You use improper
wiping motion.

If you would allow me
to demonstrate.

I was a homemaker

for 40 years,

and I found that
I truly enjoyed cleaning.

( Glass squeaking )

Well, my favorite part of
cleaning is being done, huh?

( Faughing )

Well, I see you don't
relax by laughing.

If you find no joy in housework,

perhaps you would do better
with a housekeeper.

Oh, well, I've had fantasies
about it, believe me.

We just don't have
that kind of money.

Please, Mrs. Hill,

I would not
charge much.

You know my
daughter-in-law:

I really need to
get out of the house.

Deal.

You can call me
Miss Peggy.

And this, as you can
see, is the kitchen.

There's the sink,
the oven, the floor, the...

Yes. It is like
many kitchens I have seen.

I will find my way.

( Humming )

What is she doing?

( Whispering ). She's cleaning
our house, for practically nothing.

That washcloth cost
more than her.

Now get out before
she changes her mind.

J Bev-Bev, Beverly Hills Cop, I

J Bev-Bev, Beverly Hills Cop, I

J Axel Foley gonna find
those drugs

( faughs )

Mama going to throw garbage
all over Hill lawn.

How I love her.

No...

...hot there.

Well, how that spiteful?

What's she...?

PEGGY:
Laoma?

Coming, Miss Peggy!

( Screaming )

This crazy--

You survive brutal
dictatorship

in Communist state,

only to become slave
in America?

( Groans ): Oh,
don't be silly, Kahn.

Now, does this
"Hank" name tag

look clean
enough to you?

( Sighs ). I just don't like
the idea of having a maid.

I don't
even feel right

having a waiter
clear my plate.

So, why don't
you fire her?

Because that would
be even more wrong

than it was
to hire her.

( Sighs ). Nope, I'm
afraid we'll have to

keep her on with us now
till she dies.

KAHN:
Weill

That very clever prank
you play, Hank Hill.

'You take advantage
of poor, old,

defenseless woman
to spite neighbor.

Wait till your mother come
here on rocking chair

tied to roof of car-- I
make her dance for nickel!

( Screaming in Laotian )

( Faughter)

Dang ol' Kahn, man!

I've never seen this woman clean
anything, but I enjoy her work.

( Television plays )

Hello, Mr. Hill.

Oh, hi, Laoma.

Please continue
to watch your sports game.

I will not disturb you.

Oh, I know, I know.

I'm just stretching
my legs.

( Quietly ).
Uh-oh. Sticky stain.

( Grunting )

No, Mr. Hill.
It is okay.

'You stay and watch.
I insist.

( Grunting )

Oh, God.

Time for afternoon snack.

You... You brought me a shack?

You are the male child
of the family.

Your responsibility is great,
and so must be your nourishment.

Melted cheese, roast beef,
sauerkraut...

this is a Reuben sandwich!

( Choked up ).
I wasn't expecting this.

I-I...

( clears throat )

I gotta sit down.

Oh, Minh. My heart is breaking.

With every speck of dirt Mama
clean from hillbilly's toilet,

it one more speck
of dirt on my face.

Your mother must not be treated
like a caged bird.

We must let her fly.

Even if it's just across the
street for a few hours a day.

Tomorrow
Mama's day off.

I must find her
new way to occupy time.

Something she can do
here in house,

instead of in cracker
shack next door.

Day off?

80 she be here tomorrow...
with me?

Howdy, fellows!

I see you are all relaxing
after a hard day of work.

( All agreeing )

Yeah, just having a beer.

I bet you wish you had
super-clean homes to go to

like your buddy Hank.

Uh, well, yeah.

Well, there's
good hews.

My mother-in-law has remaining
shifts available

at unbeatable prices.

Who sign up first?

Heck, I'll take a day.

I could use some Asian
fingerprints in there.

Why not you, Bill?

Have you become
emotionally attached

to your many rats
and cockroaches?

No. They can leave any time
they want-- I wouldn't care.

80 hire Laoma. She
practically free.

Well... maybe I should.

I just always figured I'd have
to be rich to be clean.

This will take me
months.

Thank you, Bill.

KAHN:
Huh?

( Screaming )

( Car crashing )

BILL: Oh, Laoma, I
can't thank you enough.

My house is clean, my
clothes are clean-- I'm clean.

And I can't believe how
many forks you found.

It has been my pleasure.

It is a curious thing.

I moved here only to be closer
to my son.

It has been a lovely surprise

that I have also found
something to do.

Yes... lovely.

Oh, something's
on your mind.

As a barber, I've seen
that look on my own face

in the mirror
many a time.

Well, there
is still a void

that neither family
nor work can fulfill.

Yeah, there's a void
in my life, too.

It's nice to talk to someone
who has the same void.

Laoma...

forgive me if I'm
out of line, but...

would you ever consider
spending time with me,

you know, outside
of my house?

LAOMA: A heart attack took my
husband away from me to the next life.

But I believe he returned

as the gentle wind

that blows through
this meadow, even now.

My God, that's the most
beautiful description

of a haunted meadow
I've ever heard.

My heart-- it's been
broken so many times!

I will be gentle.

If I may demonstrate...

Oh, Laoma.

Oh...

( kissing )

Oh!

So, you guys
go to things--

Anybody know where
I can get two tickets

to "Love Letters"
at the Arlen Little Theater?

Good Lord, has your ass gotten
so fat you need two seats?

No. I have a friend.

'You can't take a pigeon
to the theater, Bill.

For your information,
she happens to be a lady,

and we really
like each other.

I got to tell you, things got
pretty hot and heavy last night.

Ooh, good one,
man, Dang 'ol... Oh...

Way to go, Bill.
Anyone we know?

Yep. It's Kahn's mom.

( Spitting )

By God dang, man!

Bill, she's 20 years
older than you.

She's literally an old maid.

My God, she's perfect for you.

Congratulations, Bill!

Aw, thanks.

So, how does Kahn
feel about all this?

Oh, we haven't told him yet.

It'll probably take him
some getting used to,

and we don't want
to upset him

until the relationship
is on a surer footing.

Dang ol' 9:00, man.

Dauterive!

My mother get home
two hours late last night.

'You work her
overtime?

( Stiffing laughter )

I'm sorry, Kahn.

We lost track
of the hour.

Well, that
unacceptable.

Every time my mother
come back from your house,

she sweaty and
exhausted.

( Stiffing laughter )

Come on, guys,
cool it.

From now on, you stop
riding her so hard.

( All guffawing )

You need to use bathroom,
Mr. Hill?

Uh, no, no. I just, uh...

It's okay.

I come back when you done.

No, no, really,
I'll just do it later.

I insist. You go
to the bathroom immediately.

I will wait outside
until you have finished.

( Sighs)

Uh, are you still
out there?

Yes.

Do you require
assistance, Mr. Hill?

No!

For three years now,
I've had show turtles,

and I've never once
put them in a show.

I'm a freakin' hypocrite.

Any of you
seen my mother?

Well,
that depends.

How are you at receiving
unspeakably awful news?

Dale!

KAHN:
Oh,

there she is.

Wait a minute.

That not
her housecleaning outfit.

(giggling )

Whee!

Ha. What'd he do that for?

( Moaning )

Anybody want to watch the game?

Why, Mama?

Why not instead
become bag lady?

Or actress
in pornographic film?

Why must you humiliate me
in worst way imaginable?

Kahn, I do not mean
to shame you.

I am an old, lonely woman.

Bill such a big, strong man.

When [ in his arms,

I feel like delicate
little hummingbird, and he my...

Aah! Too vivid. No.

Don't you love me?

Of course I do.

'You're my mama.

Kahn, if you
love me,

you will try
to love Bill.

Oh, we just...

Say it.

I... I...

I will try to...

love...

Bill.

BILL: Oh, I swear Laoma
and I must have been

the handsomest
couple

in that noodle
house last night.

( Weak chuckle ) BILL: Yeah.

You should've seen the
way people's heads turned

when we walked
in together.

( Kahn mutters )

I guess there's just
something about a couple

that's deeply,
deeply in love.

( Groans )

( Forced chuckle ).
Yeah.

BILL: 'Course you
should have seen

the way Laoma flirted
with the maitre d'

to get us a table.

( Faughing )

Oh, Bill, stop.

Stop, yeah.

Oh, I thought I was going
to lose her

for a minute there, folks.

Bill, you know
I flirt only with you.

{ groans ):
Oh!

BILL: Ah, that
one is true. It's true.

She's like a teenager.

She nearly caused me

to hit the guardrail
driving home.

( Groans ):
Oh. Oh.

I feeling dizzy
and short of breath.

I think
I'm having a stroke.

No, don't get up.

And call me a crazy dreamer
if you want,

but are we the only intelligent
life in the universe?

I don't think so.

Mm. Yes, Miss Peggy.

Explain the pyramids.

You can't.

KAHN:
No, no, no!

For love of all things holy.

Now my mother swill beer
in alley

like full-blown redneck.

Relax, Kahn.

She happy out there.

And your mother's happiness is
the only thing

that matters to me.

But what if people
at office find out?

Aah!

Used to be

I could go to work and
brag about my family.

I tell them,
"My daughter a genius.

"She build perfect replica

"of lunar module for
advanced placement

science class."

They have no retort.

Now anything I say,
they counter with,

"Oh, how's that six-toed
possum baby

your mother have with redneck?"

What do you think, Dad?

Does this look like a convincing
replica of Harrison Schmitt?

Ha.

Astronaut turned senator.

Now this is the kind of man
who should be dating my mother.

Man who conquer Moon,

not man who conquer moon pie.

BILL:
Kahn,

I'm so delighted

that you've finally
come to see me.

Yeah. Oh.

Well, I wish I could come here
under happier circumstances.

Well, any problem of yours
is a problem of mine.

Yeah, actually,
this one all yours.

See, here the thing.

My mama has fallen in love
with another man.

(gasps )

An astronaut.

Which one?

Harrison Schmitt.

( Sighs)

Listen, can you fly spaceship?

No.

Oh.

Then this could be problem.

But... but...

we're in love.

Oh, come on, Bill.

You know it was only
a matter of time

before she leave you.

Like your wife did.

Yeah.

I suppose you're right.

But why didn't she
tell me herself?

Because she pity you.

Yeah, Mama way too nice
to hurt you

just so she could find
true happiness.

So I guess
she just live out her days

in miserable, unsatisfying
relationship with you.

The important thing is
that Bill gets what Bill wants.

Well, it really
none of my business.

I show myself out.

Yeah.

Okay.

( Sighs)

Bill... are you not well?

I... I'm okay.

No.

Something is wrong.

Usually you're licking
bottom of bowl by now.

( Sighs)

'You are breaking up with me.

Sometimes you have to move on
to find true happiness.

New people show up
into other people's lives,

sometimes wearing space helmets,
I guess.

This... this is what you want?

Well, I think
in the long run

it's better
for both of us.

Don't you think?

Oh.

Yes.

Of course.
Good.

Then we're broken up.

There's a full moon
tomorrow night.

Now I guess you
can enjoy it

with someone
who's been there.

(cries)

(crying)

KAHN:
What a rush!

Maybe next
I break up Hank and Peggy.

( Groans ):
Oh.

I'm not going to pretend
that I really got you two,

but you seemed happy.

Why did you break up
with her?

Well, she was
clean, I was dirty.

Something had to give.

You'll get a new
woman soon, Bill.

Remember, you scored
with an older chick.

You're the man now.

Oh, no wait.

I was thinking
of high school.

Sorry.

Mama, time to trim my ear hair.

Oh, you doing laundry. Good.

Minh refuses
to iron my socks.

No, Kahn.

I am leaving,

though I will try to
get a few loads done

before I go.

Pinebrook Acres?

It is a combination
retirement home and cemetery.

It's really quite
convenient.

But everything perfect now.

Everybody happy!

I am sorry,

but it is too hard
to have Bill so close.

And the home will be fun.

I am sure there
will be parties

where they make us
wear little paper hats.

Oh! Still undercooked.

Un-be-freakin'-lievable.

Damn that Laoma.

She just waltzes
into my life,

teases me with labor
at slave wages,

and then runs off
to a nursing home.

No soup?

Where's the fish course?

This isn't right.

I'm the firstborn male.

Look, I should be
in the warm tub right now

contemplating.

( Yawns )

Baal

What the hell are you doing,
Bill?

Ugh! Sorry.

It's just that this is

where Laoma
and I first made love.

Ugh.

I don't get it, Bill.

You broke up with Laoma,
and now you're pining over her?

I only broke up with her
'cause I found out

she was involved
with an astronaut.

What?
Uh-uh.

Harrison Schmitt.

And I didn't want
to stand in the way

of her being
with such a great guy.

Look, I don't know about any...

Harrison Schmitt?

Really?

Well, look,

whoever it is,
you just have to go to Laoma-

somewhere far away
from my front stoop--

And make sure you tell her
how you feel about her

and that nobody can
take care of her

better than you can.

Yeah, but Kahn said...

Don't worry about what
Kahn or anybody else says.

You've got to take
your best shot.

And then if she chooses
someone else,

well, at least
you tried.

Look out, Spaceman.

Bill Dauterive
is coming through!

I hate

to see you so
unhappy because of...

Bill Dauterive.

But, uh...

But who knows why
he does what he does.

BILL ( shouting ):
Laomal

Okay, time's a-wastin'.

Laomal

Bill?

Laoma, wait.

Don't go.

I am sorry.

I must.

Where is he taking you?
Houston?

Cape Canaveral?

Okay, Dauterive finally snap.

Come on, we go inside,

call 911.

Look, I don't care
about your rocket boy,

and I don't care what kind

of gifts he makes you.

You want to know

what I think of Aim?

( Grunts)

Hey!

I never stopped
loving you, Laoma.

I just wanted to let you
find happiness

with Astronaut Schmitt.

But I know

you'll only find
true happiness with me.

Oh, Bill.
Oh.

Wait.

Astronaut who?

Yes, Harrison Schmitt.

Kahn told me everything.

Kahn?

Mama,

it not what it look like.

I only did it
because the thought

of you two together make me sick
to the very pit of my stomach.

Oh, come on.

Like you all wouldn't
have done the same thing

if Dauterive was
after your mother?

( Groans ):
Oh.

You know, this not so bad.

It kind of like those dogs
that so ugly, they almost cute.

Yeah.

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UH OH, sticky stain...

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