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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:11,310
and 20th CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,133
Looking sharp, Mom.
4
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,797
Hey, are you subbing today?
5
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,068
Bobby, you know I am.
6
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,906
You left me that message that
they want me to sub for Italian.
7
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,570
Uh, no...
8
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:49,549
I wanted an Italian sub
for lunch.
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00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,608
Well, I'm all dressed up.
10
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,984
I guess I could just shelve
books at the library
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00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,546
till they throw me out.
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00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,216
HANK:
Oh, dang it.
13
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,624
Says here because
of high produce prices
14
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,958
schools are yanking vegetables
from their menu.
15
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:06,091
Man, first they get rid of the
organic garden, and now this.
16
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:09,501
What is it with this school
and vegetables?
17
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:10,799
PEGGY:
Organic garden?
18
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,134
What organic garden?
19
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,197
The coaches try to keep it
under wraps.
20
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,710
You see, the kids who want
to get out of gym class
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00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,438
can work in the garden instead.
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00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,502
I just wish
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00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,173
I'd found out about it sooner.
24
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,650
Then I wouldn't have take
the Presidential Fitness Test.
25
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,416
You'd rather work
in an organic garden
26
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:30,719
than participate in
the Presidential Fitness Test?
27
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,247
Where's your patriotism, boy?
28
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:35,956
I hate doing the flexed-arm hang
in front of everyone.
29
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:39,227
They call me T-Rex because
my arms can't support my weight.
30
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,927
Bobby, the flexed-arm hang...
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00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,561
I know, I know...
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00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,870
Could mean the difference
between life and death.
33
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,965
Doesn't matter anyway.
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00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:51,410
Mr. Tomich is retiring
and the garden is closing.
35
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,606
End of story.
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00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:57,607
So, as you can see
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00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,618
and smell,
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00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,678
I am a very gifted gardener.
39
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:06,888
Sorry, Peggy, but we're not
looking to replace Mr. Tomich.
40
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,658
See, nobody really needs
an organic garden.
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00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,664
The football team,
on the other hand,
42
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,666
could use more storage space
for their blocking sleds
43
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,225
and old, broken helmets.
44
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,758
Nice punt.
45
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,067
I tell you,
this team's got something.
46
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,596
Not like last year.
47
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,609
Runts almost got me fired.
48
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,172
What if the garden was working
for the football team?
49
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,207
Football? I'm listening.
50
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,219
My husband read in the paper
this morning
51
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,778
about the veggie shortage.
52
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,755
This team
needs their vitamins.
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00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,225
How do you expect them
to make it to State
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00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,557
without iceberg
on their hamburgers?
55
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,029
If you put me in charge
56
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,087
I will provide the team
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00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:47,726
with the freshest vegetables
in Heimlich County.
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00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,065
MOSS:
Tell you what, Peggy,
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00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,399
I'll give you a shot.
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00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,405
'You do okay, we'll
talk permanent.
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00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,702
And make sure
you grow kale.
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00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,868
That new quarterback
we got loves kale.
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00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,072
Hey, Dad, want to see me?
No.
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00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:02,207
But you don't know what I...
No.
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00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,310
Say hello
to Tom Landry Middle School's
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00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,320
newest organic
gardening teacher.
67
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,879
'You saved the garden?
68
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,686
Way to go, Mom!
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00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:14,683
Mm-hmm. And now it will be
supplying fresh vegetables
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00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,457
to the football team.
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00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:17,463
Organic garden?
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00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,363
That's what hippies eat.
73
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,493
When was the last time
you saw a hippie
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00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,731
that could take on
an offensive tackle?
75
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:24,737
Oh, who cares?
76
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:28,105
Hank, organic gardening
is terribly inefficient.
77
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,973
It's a full-time job.
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00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,910
It could be my full-time job.
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00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,414
Good morning, class.
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00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:40,251
I am your new gardening teacher,
Mrs. Hill.
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00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,721
So, this is all of you?
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00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:42,722
Uh-huh.
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00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,724
Okay.
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00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,589
Oh, this looks ripe.
85
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,322
Let's get to work.
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00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,329
BOBBY:
Work?
87
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,764
Mom, you're embarrassing me.
88
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,767
Mr. Tomich did
everything himself.
89
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,768
Sometimes we picked stuff.
90
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,770
Mostly we just sat around
and whatever.
91
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,829
Well, there will be
no "whatevering"
92
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,968
in Mrs. Hill's garden.
93
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:21,058
Mmm. So that's why
people eat fruit.
94
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,061
Mmm...
95
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,190
Boy, look at those
jumping jacks.
96
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:29,863
This is the year,
I tell you what.
97
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,965
Hey, Mom, why are we bringing
all of this up to the field?
98
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,999
80 the cafeteria cooks
can't steal our glory.
99
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,875
Coming through.
100
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,006
Make room for tomatoes so juicy
101
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,414
you'll want to eat them
with a lifeguard.
102
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,849
Organic goodness.
103
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,910
Straight from
Mother Nature's womb.
104
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,853
Uh, h-hey,
look over there.
105
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,414
Who's got a stopwatch?
106
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,916
Let's check out the
hang time on that punter.
107
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,395
Hey, Hank, that's some
fine-looking produce
108
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:57,863
your boy's got there.
109
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,866
Yeah, maybe it'll
give them enough juice
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00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,164
to get off their
butts and hustle!
111
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:05,763
Huh, I guess this stuff
does look pretty good.
112
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,639
Looks a lot better than
that got-dang special teams!
113
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:12,407
Can't catch a punt
to save their lives!
114
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,243
Good work, kid.
115
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,249
You know, I got
to admit, Peggy,
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00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,250
this stuff looks so good
117
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:20,276
I might have to became
a vegetarian.
118
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,719
( Chuckles )
119
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,154
Not really.
120
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:26,649
Look sharp, Bobby,
it's the coach.
121
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,627
That's a heck of a
good-looking berry.
122
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,630
Keep up the good work, son.
123
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,095
"Keep up
the good work, son."
124
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:41,472
Yep, that's what the coach said
to Bobby.
125
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,000
And then when Bobby set out
those organic onions
126
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,342
it was like he caught
a 32-yard pass.
127
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:47,346
DALE:
What exactly
128
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,506
are you trying to do, Hank?
129
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,516
Turn our school
into some sort of
130
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,985
bohemian Montessori
love-fest?
131
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,043
No, it's not like that.
132
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:57,455
It's not like the organic
gardening they did at Jonestown.
133
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,889
It's more like farming.
134
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,893
And you should have seen
the size of the crops.
135
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,986
I tell you,
for a bunch of gym-dodgers,
136
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,522
these kids
did a pretty decent job.
137
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,534
Well, I guess
I'm going to head on in
138
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,764
and watch some of
the Home and Garden network.
139
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,568
It's Compost Week.
140
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,576
Bobby and I are thinking of
making a batch for the team.
141
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:22,146
( Sighs)
142
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,674
Dang it,
now |I've got compost fever.
143
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,708
Me, too.
144
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,311
Maybe we could pitch in.
145
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:28,879
Great idea.
146
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,584
Now we need to find
some leftover food,
147
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,560
lawn clippings,
dead leaves and coffee grounds
148
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,461
that have been left to rot
for along, long time.
149
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,102
Just for the record, there is a
garbage can in there somewhere.
150
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:48,301
You know what would make
this baby sing?
151
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,572
Bat guano. Nature's Miracle-Gro.
152
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,080
Where do you buy bat guano?
Sears?
153
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,843
Yes. But it lacks
154
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,977
the potency of straight-
out-of-the-bat feces.
155
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,783
Nope, we have to go
right to the source.
156
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,414
Mano-a-guano.
157
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,785
"Gold Bar summer squash."
158
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,092
Mmm.
159
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:15,227
Ah! Mom, come here!
160
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,429
Look at all these bugs.
161
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,868
Oh.
162
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,872
Mrs. Hill, Spencer
told me to tell you
163
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,874
there's some weird
fungus on the turnips
164
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,876
and I saw some snails
near the lettuce.
165
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:24,877
I already
stepped on one.
166
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:25,878
It was pretty cool.
167
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,813
Oh, God. We have to feed these
to the football team today.
168
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,815
Why did I promise them
169
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:30,907
a field of greens?
170
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:37,618
Die! Die! Die!
171
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,648
Hey, everybody,
the cavalry's here.
172
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,854
Bobby, show the coach
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00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:41,861
what kind of ammo
174
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,863
you've got for
our troops today.
175
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:50,860
Oh, you know,
just more of the same.
176
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,373
What the hell happened
to this carrot, son?
177
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:57,036
I wouldn't feed it
to sixth grade J.V.
178
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:01,378
Oh, this is terrible.
179
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,678
Got anything else
for the team to eat?
180
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:04,684
An old hubcap?
181
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:05,810
Aw added-up newspaper?
182
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,651
Peggy, I got to tell you,
183
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,157
my job would be a lot easier
if you weren't feeding worms
184
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,625
to the football team.
185
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,627
I got to call
this garden thing off.
186
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,789
No, you can't do that.
187
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,956
Oh, man.
188
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:22,094
I was practically
on the football team.
189
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,261
Now, hold on, Carl.
190
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,270
Can I remind you
191
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,705
of the time the school board
wanted to fire
192
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,710
a certain principal
for growing a ponytail?
193
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,711
Well, Hank,
that was a long time ago.
194
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,373
A lot of us said, "Yeah,
he looks like a jackass,
195
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,382
but he deserves
another chance,"
196
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,441
and that's all
we're asking for.
197
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,611
( Sighs)
198
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:40,619
You got two weeks.
199
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:44,089
BOY: Hey, Coach,
I don't feel so...
200
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:44,920
( vomits )
201
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:48,258
One week.
202
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,192
HANK:
Don't worry, Peggy,
203
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,668
we'll turn that garden around.
204
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,639
I have never seen a problem
teamwork couldn't fix.
205
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,868
"Aphids. Worms."
206
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:02,875
( Disgusted sigh )
207
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,503
Why does every book about
organic gardens
208
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,876
have naked people in it?
209
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:09,507
Well, this one has
three chapters on Nixon
210
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,484
and nothing about bugs.
211
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,078
So when they say
"Mother Earth"
212
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,679
they mean dirt, right?
213
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,690
I'm not sure, but wait,
listen to this:
214
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,022
"Snails are attracted
to the smell of beer.
215
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,826
They will follow the scent,
fall into the beer and drown."
216
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,228
Just like Judy Garland.
217
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,701
HANK:
Okay, here we are.
218
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,829
What a... uh...
219
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,998
great-looking group of kids
this is.
220
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,235
This isn't all of them,
is it?
221
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:41,738
Uh, so how many of you have
ever tried out for a team?
222
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,148
And how many of you have ever
been picked for a team?
223
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,118
Uh... okay then.
224
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,520
Well, I'm forming a team.
225
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:50,523
The Garden Team.
226
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,424
And you're all
my first-round draft picks.
227
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,157
All right!
I'm playing for my dad.
228
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,722
With your permission,
I'd like to lead us in a cheer.
229
00:09:58,765 --> 00:09:59,926
Give me a...
230
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,092
Permission denied.
231
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,297
Now, if we're going to be
a team,
232
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:08,740
we got to play together
and give it all we got.
233
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:14,009
So let's get in there and show
these bugs we mean business.
234
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,208
( All cheer)
235
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,445
Last call for beer,
you little garden munchers.
236
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:22,888
'You don't have to go home,
but you cannot stay here.
237
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,890
Now, supposedly
these milk cartons
238
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:29,259
will help protect the base of
the plants from crawling bugs,
239
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,492
"which are all beautiful
in their own way."
240
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,499
Queen Amidala,
241
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,935
I will save you
from the Dark Side.
242
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,937
( Sighs)
243
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,167
If there were more than
one garden team,
244
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,640
we'd be in last place.
245
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,665
BOBBY:
Quit screwing around, guys.
246
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:47,112
And forget about Queen
Amidala and the Dark Side.
247
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,707
Who's saving these cucumbers
from aphids?
248
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:55,153
DALE: Boy, it's true what they
say about the Denton Flea Market.
249
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,156
You really can get
anything there.
250
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,750
So how much guano
have you collected so far?
251
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,921
None. But I've been feeding it
bugs and prunes
252
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,454
and massaging its colon
for the past two days,
253
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,830
so the flood gates
are about to open.
254
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:12,031
Build an ark, boys.
255
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,409
We're going to need more bats.
256
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,151
Andrew,
257
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,153
how many times
do I have to tell you,
258
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,621
the weed puller
is for...
259
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,622
pulling weeds.
260
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,090
Oh, good job.
261
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,862
Dang it, Rain, I don't
think your extract of hippie
262
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,332
is going to help
our garden.
263
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,562
Actually, these are ashes
from our wood stove at home.
264
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,662
They discourage slugs
and cut worms.
265
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,937
Rain, you have just
earned yourself
266
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,134
a high five.
267
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,471
Come on, don't
leave me hanging.
268
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,882
Hank, why isn't
this working?
269
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:05,152
Damn it, these bugs
are eating my career.
270
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:08,320
Peggy, I had my doubts about
this whole organic thing, too,
271
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,329
but if the old
gardening teacher
272
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,558
pulled it off,
then so can we.
273
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:12,724
Look at these kids.
274
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:15,632
They're actually
working as a team.
275
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:16,635
Slow down, Tommy.
276
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,636
Save some water
277
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,637
for the plants.
278
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,639
PEGGY:
Mr. Tomich
279
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,607
I don't know how
you did it.
280
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,270
I tried every organic trick
in the book.
281
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:28,941
Soapy water, pepper spray,
tobacco, cotton balls,
282
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,609
pecan shells, ladybugs...
283
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,641
and I got jack.
284
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:36,622
How about Methyl isothiocyanate?
285
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,852
That wasn't in my organic
gardening book.
286
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:39,858
What is it?
287
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,690
A very powerful pesticide.
288
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,696
Just be sure not to get
any on your hands.
289
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,528
But... but the
whole point
290
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,227
is to teach kids
about organic gardening.
291
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,566
That's why you don't
tell anybody.
292
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,971
Oh, my God,
you grew a garden of lies.
293
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,567
Yes, and tomatoes the size
of your cranium.
294
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,772
Look, if you want to keep
your garden and your job,
295
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,143
you got to use pesticides.
296
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:04,013
What do you think is keeping
termites from eating this deck?
297
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,745
Love?
298
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,407
Dad, look at the size
of this one!
299
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,677
If Gallagher smashed it,
300
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,413
it would reach all the way
to the back of the room.
301
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:44,390
'You see, Peggy, you didn't have
faith, but look at his place.
302
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,391
( Sighs)
303
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,393
Is there anything
beer can't do?
304
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,485
Uh... uh-huh, you're right.
305
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,895
I know this stuff is
for the football team,
306
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,489
but it just looks so good,
307
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,500
I'm going to have
to try a sample.
308
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,660
Hank, no! No!
309
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,693
It... it's for
the football team.
310
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,603
And don't touch
your eyes.
311
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,971
DALE:
According to the nice lady
312
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,601
at the Flying Mammal Society,
313
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,735
this bridge is home
314
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,871
to more than 30,000 bats.
315
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,972
Even if half of them
are constipated,
316
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,007
it's still a gold mine.
317
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:16,181
Oh, man, got dang ol'
P and ol' U, man.
318
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,020
Oh, God, it's awful.
319
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,549
( Deep breaths )
320
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,493
( Bill screeching )
321
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,657
DALE:
The floor is slippery.
322
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,258
That's a good sign.
323
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,268
Boomhauer, get ready.
324
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,770
I think I hear something.
325
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,032
(plop)
326
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,266
Yes!
327
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,501
( Plopping )
328
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,372
Picking up...
329
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,241
( rapid plopping )
330
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:39,506
Uh-oh.
331
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,740
( Squeaking )
332
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:46,344
Oh, God, we've awakened
a sleeping, pooping giant!
333
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,581
( Screaming )
334
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:52,558
I've got a bat
in my mouth!
335
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,821
( Screaming )
336
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,557
HANK:
Listen up, team.
337
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,030
I just wanted to tell you all
338
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,589
how proud I am.
339
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,260
You've overcome the elements,
the bugs
340
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,633
and God knows,
your own limitations.
341
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,297
I got
heat stroke.
342
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,534
Look at this.
343
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,972
I thought it was a tumor,
344
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:13,309
but Mom said it was
a call us.
345
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,314
And since you guys
are working like a team,
346
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:19,478
I figured it's about time
you looked like one.
347
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,486
( All gasping )
348
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,148
Yep, team jerseys.
349
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,157
Bobby, you keep up
the good work
350
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,216
and I might have to sew
a "C" on the jersey
351
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,025
for Captain.
352
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:34,260
( Yawns )
353
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,669
( Coughing )
354
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,800
Oh...
355
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:47,541
All right, team.
356
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,605
Early bird
kills the worm.
357
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:50,775
Peggy?
358
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:54,185
What?! What?!
359
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:04,560
( All gasping )
360
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,190
Peggy, what are you doing?
361
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,167
Well, ...
I was just vacuuming?
362
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,170
That's a skull
and crossbones sticker.
363
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,171
It says, "Warning: poison."
364
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:16,164
All right, I've been
spraying pesticides.
365
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,906
But, Peggy, this is
an organic garden.
366
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,880
Using chemicals is the only
thing you're not allowed to do.
367
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,313
Oh, come on, Hank.
368
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,875
How else do you think
it was able to grow so well?
369
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,181
'You mean it wasn't us?
370
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,416
The team?
371
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:33,050
And I already thanked God
for a bountiful harvest.
372
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:36,187
He must think I'm an idiot.
373
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,492
Well, I had no choice.
374
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,828
'You can't get anything
good without chemicals.
375
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:44,064
Chemicals are what keep
my hair so high and brown.
376
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,664
Hank? Hank!
377
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,698
Screw helping
the football team.
378
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,073
If they want guano,
379
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:54,136
they can crawl through hell
getting it like we did.
380
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,875
I had to burn my favorite Levis
381
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,646
and a hat that was perfectly
molded to my head.
382
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,651
Step right up, man.
383
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,746
Get a little ol' guano just like
them dang ol Egyptians, man.
384
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:04,654
Gonna change your life, man.
385
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,091
Jus-just guaranteed
to be fresh too, man.
386
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,093
You, sir,
387
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:11,188
why are you afraid
to take the guano challenge?
388
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:14,097
Are you afraid it might
rock your world?
389
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,191
Coward!
390
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:21,196
So Principal Moss pulled
the plug on the garden.
391
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,569
The football team is moving
their blocking sleds
392
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,206
over there next week.
393
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,842
Good. I'm on a gotdang
mailing list
394
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,478
for an organic food store now.
395
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,013
To think I shopped
at a place called Passages.
396
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:41,550
I guess the garden team has
one more game left, huh, Dad.
397
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,858
Harvesting the last crop.
398
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,864
There never was any garden team.
399
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,798
This was just
your mother,
400
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,029
the cheater, spraying
her cheater juice
401
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,036
all over the place.
402
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,538
No, it wasn't.
403
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,563
We worked hard
on that garden.
404
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,075
Who knows what we really did.
405
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,134
It's like we all got caught
using steroids.
406
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:01,146
The only honorable thing
left to do
407
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:05,674
is forfeit
and get off the field.
408
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,654
What are you
doing, Bobby?
409
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,785
The garden team's dead.
410
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,795
We should just set fire
to the whole thing
411
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,853
and watch it burn.
412
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,092
We planted this garden,
413
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,099
and we worked hard
to make it grow.
414
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,101
Now, there's one more
harvest left,
415
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:26,469
and the snails are going to have
to go through me to get it.
416
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,468
He's open.
417
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:57,867
He's open!
418
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,530
He... Gotdangit!
419
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,906
Oh, look who it is--
Hippie Hill.
420
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,242
Hey, Granola, what's your boy
doing in the garden over there?
421
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,303
Dang it, Bobby.
422
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,315
All right, I'll go
make sure they're gone
423
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:11,407
before the football team
424
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:13,418
brings over
their blocking sleds.
425
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,944
Keep it up, team.
426
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,753
It's the fifth quarter
427
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,782
and time's
running out.
428
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,692
I know you're tired and sore,
429
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:26,460
but if we don't bring these
vegetables in, no one will.
430
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,298
So keep picking till
you can't pick anymore,
431
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,269
and then pick one more.
432
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,601
Try planting this.
433
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,903
It's raining pain.
434
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:36,908
Incoming.
435
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,910
They're coming.
They always come.
436
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:39,911
My glasses.
437
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:40,912
Move it!
Move it!
438
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,471
If there's something
439
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,075
in your way, run over it.
440
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,211
Get out of the way,
garden dorks.
441
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:53,215
Why, Dad? Why?
442
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,328
I don't think so.
443
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,957
These kids have worked hard,
444
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,967
and this is what's
going to happen.
445
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,969
They're going to harvest
their vegetables,
446
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:04,970
you guys are going
to eat 'em,
447
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,405
and then you're
going to say thank you.
448
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,430
Move 'em, Hank.
449
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:11,068
These cupcakes don't
belong on the football field.
450
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,078
'You guys know I can
play running back,
451
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,945
but I can block, too.
452
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,746
As I recall, Rick, you were
a tennis player, right?
453
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,887
All right, come on,
let's get back to practice.
454
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,603
We have been working on
this garden for a week,
455
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,839
and I tried to resist, but...
456
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:49,871
Dad, give me
a wheelbarrow ride!
457
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:53,408
Okay, quick, get in.
458
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:57,218
PEGGY:
Can I help?
459
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,985
I've gone straight. I swear.
460
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:00,583
I'm done with chemicals.
461
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,287
I didn't even use
any shampoo
462
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,422
or soap or deodorant
this morning.
463
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:12,063
Smell me.
464
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,004
'You can help step on beetles.
465
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,404
But I got to warn you,
466
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,409
the ones that
survive the poisons
467
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,410
are really tough.
468
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:24,406
Captioned by Media Access
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469
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,825
Is there anything Beer can't do?
470
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:12,425
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