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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:10,091
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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00:00:31,181 --> 00:00:33,343
DALE:
Eh? Eh?
4
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,282
Ooh!
Balloon!
5
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,254
Whose birthday
is it?
6
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,914
Joseph's?
Or Nancy's?
7
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:39,923
No, wait!
8
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,356
It's my birthday,
isn't it?
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00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:42,859
Bill, it's
a weather balloon.
10
00:00:42,893 --> 00:00:44,122
And your birthday's...
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00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:47,062
uh, was last week.
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00:00:47,097 --> 00:00:49,327
Uh, sorry, Bill.
13
00:00:49,366 --> 00:00:51,061
Happy belated birthday.
14
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:52,159
Thank you, Hank.
15
00:00:52,202 --> 00:00:53,966
I've got
18 more of these.
16
00:00:54,004 --> 00:00:55,301
A balloonist's dozen.
17
00:00:55,339 --> 00:00:58,172
Hey, man, how about that dang
old dude, man, true story man,
18
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:00,643
it got, got him, all them
balloons up in 'em lawn chair,
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00:01:00,677 --> 00:01:03,271
man, going around 16,000 feet,
man, that old Bruce Dern
20
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,281
played him in a,
in a dang old movie, man.
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00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,750
Boomhauer, that guy
almost died.
22
00:01:07,784 --> 00:01:10,082
You can't just strap
some weather balloons
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00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,090
to a lawn chair and fly
to the store for some candy.
24
00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:14,955
That's ridiculous.
25
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,187
( Sighs)
26
00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:17,284
I need to focus.
27
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,056
Our biggest propane sale
of the year starts tomorrow.
28
00:01:19,096 --> 00:01:23,556
I can't afford
to be thinking about helium.
29
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,538
Yeah, that's ridiculous,
Boomhauer.
30
00:01:32,442 --> 00:01:33,432
This is it.
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00:01:33,477 --> 00:01:35,468
The Grillstravaganza.
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00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,241
Okay, let's do it.
33
00:01:37,281 --> 00:01:38,373
On three.
34
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:40,281
One, two, three.
35
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:45,812
For the customer!
36
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,221
Enrique!
Nice clip-on.
37
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:48,224
Looking good.
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00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,226
Donna, thanks
for clearing your desk.
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00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:53,025
I know how much
you like your unicorns.
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00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:54,997
( Sighs)
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00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,966
Joe Jack,
what's with the hat?
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00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,967
Sorry, honey.
43
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,560
But this year,
I'm going to
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00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:01,594
be selling more grills than you.
45
00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:04,972
In fact, your winning streak's
about to go up in flames.
46
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:05,975
Abra-kazam!
47
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:10,207
Ah, good God, that's hot.
48
00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:12,443
Do you know why
I sell the most propane
49
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:14,814
every Grillstravaganza,
Joe Jack?
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00:02:14,851 --> 00:02:16,319
I educate the customer
51
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,583
so they can make
an informed decision.
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00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,021
That's my magic trick.
53
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,549
Oh-oh.
54
00:02:22,592 --> 00:02:24,560
Rabbit done peed on my head.
55
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:28,823
Boy, that Joe Jack.
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00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:31,562
He's never going to get
anywhere until he learns
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00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:33,763
that sales
is all about character.
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00:02:33,804 --> 00:02:36,705
Well, unfortunately,
that is the sort of lesson
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00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,038
he will only learn
on his deathbed.
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00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,340
And no one wants
to buy a grill from a dying man.
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00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,403
Hey, you know
who might get a kick
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00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,142
out of learning
some character?
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00:02:45,182 --> 00:02:46,013
Bobby.
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00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:47,574
Maybe I'll take him to work.
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00:02:47,617 --> 00:02:50,882
Show him how his old man
pays for his bath salts.
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00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:00,521
Cookies!
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00:03:00,564 --> 00:03:02,623
Bobby, that's not a cookie.
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00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,134
It's a sales cookie.
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00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,135
When you make a sale,
you get a cookie,
70
00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:07,136
and you get to ring the bell.
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00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:10,140
It's asinine, but it
works for some people.
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00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:11,140
( Rings bell)
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00:03:11,174 --> 00:03:13,973
The sales cookie's the sweetest
cookie you'll ever taste, honey.
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00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:18,743
Every time I hear a bell,
I starts to drooling.
75
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,750
And this is the sales board.
76
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,481
It's like the giant scoreboard
at the Masters.
77
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,353
Except instead of Tiger Woods,
you have me.
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00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:27,357
Wow.
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00:03:27,391 --> 00:03:29,291
Cookies,
my name in blue marker...
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00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:32,557
What do you want me
to sell first?
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00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,563
( Faughs )
82
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:36,498
You want to make a sale
on your first day?
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00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:37,830
( Faughs )
84
00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:39,632
Ah, God bless you, boy.
85
00:03:39,669 --> 00:03:45,631
Uh, I think you better
watch this first.
86
00:03:45,675 --> 00:03:46,665
Morning, sir.
87
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:49,008
I see you admiring
the Vogner line.
88
00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:51,309
Why don't you give these
brochures a read,
89
00:03:51,348 --> 00:03:52,645
talk them over
with your wife,
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00:03:52,682 --> 00:03:54,650
or a trusted
older family member,
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00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:57,085
and come back
if and when you're ready.
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00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,316
We'll be here.
93
00:03:59,356 --> 00:04:00,255
Okay.
94
00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,884
Well, thanks.
95
00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:03,950
Yes!
96
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,429
Gives me chills every time.
97
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,828
I don't get it.
98
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:09,161
You let him leave.
99
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:10,997
At the end of the month,
you'll get it,
100
00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:15,369
when my customers return,
educated and ready to buy.
101
00:04:15,405 --> 00:04:17,339
That leads us
to lesson number one.
102
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:18,967
So straighten up your tie,
103
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:22,775
'cause you're
going to meet a lady.
104
00:04:22,813 --> 00:04:24,941
This is Lucy
the tank wipe trainer.
105
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:28,007
What is exactly
does wiping a grimy tank
106
00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:31,021
have to do
with selling propane?
107
00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,021
Everything.
108
00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:35,218
When you talk tanks with the
customer, it won't just be talk.
109
00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:38,284
You'll have smelled, touched,
and tasted more tanks
110
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:39,352
than he'll have ever seen.
111
00:04:39,396 --> 00:04:42,093
But I want to sell grills.
112
00:04:42,132 --> 00:04:44,658
When you're ready,
you will.
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00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,862
All right,
now what you do
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00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:48,166
is wipe from her head
down to her feet.
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00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,641
No, no, Bobby,
remember...
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00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:53,905
"Head to feet,
you won't cause a leak."
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00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:58,245
"Feet to head,
everyone's dead."
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00:05:04,588 --> 00:05:08,616
Tether tethered.
119
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:09,716
BILL:
I'm going to be
120
00:05:09,759 --> 00:05:11,625
floating with the angels.
121
00:05:11,661 --> 00:05:13,459
What's that gun for?
122
00:05:13,497 --> 00:05:16,694
There is a small
to large chance
123
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,930
you will develop high
altitude pulmonary edema
124
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:23,600
which means your capillaries
will flood with fluid,
125
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:24,971
preventing adequate
oxygenation
126
00:05:25,008 --> 00:05:27,500
and a spiral
of worsening hypoxia,
127
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,535
leading to a slow
and painful death.
128
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,944
I don't think I want that.
129
00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:32,813
That's why I got the gun.
130
00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,783
If you start feeling
any shortness of breath,
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00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:35,944
rub your belly,
and I will give you
132
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:40,048
one of Dr. Dale's
.38 caliber pain pills.
133
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,023
What?
134
00:05:41,057 --> 00:05:42,354
Don't worry,
I'm a good shot.
135
00:05:42,392 --> 00:05:46,192
Remove the sandbags,
Boomhauer!
136
00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:48,857
It works,
it works!
137
00:05:48,899 --> 00:05:52,062
Oh, it's so beautiful up here.
138
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,969
Okay, when we released
the second tether,
139
00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:56,564
Bill should
gradually float
140
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,268
30 feet into the air
as planned,
141
00:05:59,309 --> 00:06:01,801
or he will soar
uncontrollably
142
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:04,610
into the stratosphere.
143
00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:05,376
Huh?
144
00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:07,907
Cut the cord, Boomhauer.
145
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:08,975
Wait!
146
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:13,149
He's giving the signal.
147
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,714
Stick out your chest
148
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:17,090
so I can get a clean
shot at your heart!
149
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:22,930
Oh, man, use that them
dang old escape rope, man!
150
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,368
( Grunting )
151
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:29,737
( Screaming )
152
00:06:29,773 --> 00:06:32,037
( Grunts)
153
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:35,477
I made it!
154
00:06:35,512 --> 00:06:38,914
I'm all right!
155
00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,041
Owl
156
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:46,921
You're not
doing it right!
157
00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:49,187
( Screaming )
158
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,489
Ow, ow!
159
00:06:51,528 --> 00:06:55,556
Help!
160
00:06:55,599 --> 00:06:56,430
Hey, man, that dang,
161
00:06:56,466 --> 00:07:00,266
better shoot that
dang old balloon, man!
162
00:07:08,712 --> 00:07:12,706
My eyes!
163
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:16,151
Man, ma dang, dang
old Bill's gone, man.
164
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,847
Huh.
165
00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:20,117
BOBBY:
Ow.
166
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:21,248
Ow.
167
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:23,020
Ow.
168
00:07:23,059 --> 00:07:24,458
Congratulations, Bobby.
169
00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:27,293
That's the pain you get
from not taking shortcuts.
170
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:28,229
( Sighs)
171
00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:32,223
Okay.
172
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:35,962
You know,
I think he may
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00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:38,941
really have what it takes
to be a great propane salesman.
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00:07:38,975 --> 00:07:40,306
Look, Peggy,
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00:07:40,343 --> 00:07:42,778
he can barely make it
to his room.
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00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:44,974
( Bobby coif apses )
177
00:07:45,015 --> 00:07:47,177
Aw, he can't.
178
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,447
Hey, Joe Jack.
179
00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:52,751
My dad's making me
calibrate all the flanges.
180
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:54,917
Does this flange
look calibrated to you?
181
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,892
Um, beats me.
182
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:58,621
Never learned that stuff.
183
00:07:58,662 --> 00:08:01,154
I just know about
moving product.
184
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:01,993
Wait a minute.
185
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:04,865
Then why am I stuck
back here doing this?
186
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,198
All that bunk about
learning the fundamentals.
187
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:13,734
It's just a way to get me
to do his grunt work.
188
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,148
Good afternoon,
sir... madam.
189
00:08:19,182 --> 00:08:22,277
May I help you with one
of our fine products?
190
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:24,377
Well, do you
actually work here?
191
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,356
Yes, I do.
192
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:37,129
Bobby!
No!
193
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:39,727
Buck, I apologize.
194
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,134
This won't happen again.
195
00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:42,570
Hell, I hope it does.
196
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,573
He just sold a Char-King!
197
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,598
He what?
198
00:08:46,643 --> 00:08:48,111
Hit it out of the park
199
00:08:48,144 --> 00:08:49,634
on his first at bat.
200
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,340
Bobby, I'm deputizing you...
201
00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:53,577
Sales boy!
202
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,710
But, sir, he doesn't know
the fundamentals.
203
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,846
He didn't sell
a grill.
204
00:08:57,887 --> 00:08:59,514
Someone bought it
from him.
205
00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:00,682
He's not ready.
206
00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:01,691
Hey, Dad.
207
00:09:01,725 --> 00:09:03,523
What's this sound like?
208
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,322
( Rings bell)
209
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,422
Sounds like I'm ready.
210
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,435
Beginner's luck
is a curse, Bobby.
211
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,872
If you don't learn
the basics,
212
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:20,001
you'll be just another
also-ran
213
00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,875
instead
of a still running.
214
00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:24,573
Well...
215
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:27,345
doing those basics
might be your way
216
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:28,873
but it's not my way.
217
00:09:28,918 --> 00:09:31,080
It's not my way;
it's the right way.
218
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:34,421
Hal If only there
were some easy way
219
00:09:34,457 --> 00:09:37,154
to figure out whose way
works better.
220
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:40,457
All right, mister,
you're on.
221
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,464
Fine!
222
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,991
I cook two-inch steaks.
223
00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:46,502
That's my predilection.
224
00:09:46,536 --> 00:09:48,334
Is 22,000 BTUs
enough for me?
225
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:50,339
BT... what's the what now?
226
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:51,340
BTUs.
227
00:09:51,374 --> 00:09:52,739
You know the heat index.
228
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:56,576
Uh... oh... well,
the thing with that is... uh...
229
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,980
Yeah, I'd be interested
to hear that too, Bobby.
230
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:02,007
The heat, huh?
231
00:10:02,051 --> 00:10:05,316
Well, it ain't going
to be as hot
232
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,619
as the Dallas Cowboys
this season.
233
00:10:07,657 --> 00:10:09,250
Now, they got a team.
234
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:10,384
Am I right?
235
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:11,393
What are you talking about?
236
00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:12,588
Dallas stinks this year.
237
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:13,960
Which is why you're going
238
00:10:13,997 --> 00:10:16,261
to spend Sunday afternoons
grilling
239
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:18,267
instead of watching TV.
240
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:19,268
Amen to that, brother.
241
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:25,572
BILL:
Hello, anyone?
242
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,702
Anybody?
243
00:10:27,744 --> 00:10:29,735
Santa?
244
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:31,873
No.
245
00:10:31,915 --> 00:10:33,974
Yes!
246
00:10:34,017 --> 00:10:36,281
Yes!
247
00:10:36,319 --> 00:10:38,845
If you get your parents,
I will give you a toy.
248
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:42,381
( Groaning )
249
00:10:42,425 --> 00:10:45,122
( Screaming )
250
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:47,858
Good-bye, Santa.
251
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:52,061
I love you.
252
00:10:52,101 --> 00:10:54,069
Plus with
a chrome reinforcement,
253
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:56,765
you don't have to worry
about her blowing up.
254
00:10:56,806 --> 00:10:58,035
Grills blow up?!
255
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,371
Oh, just the cheap ones.
256
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,070
Uh, that's not
true, sir.
257
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,841
Every grill we sell here
is absolutely safe
258
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,245
and of the finest quality.
259
00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:06,612
Oh, are they?
260
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:10,950
Joe Jack, what do you think
about the non-chrome grills?
261
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:12,182
What, the widow makers?
262
00:11:12,222 --> 00:11:15,055
No, no, I have all the safety
information.
263
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,526
Thanks, but I'd rather not
take any chances.
264
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,528
I'll go with
the chrome one.
265
00:11:27,971 --> 00:11:30,201
'You and you--
my truck, now.
266
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:36,077
You two are
selling propane
267
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,843
like it's a diseased pet
that needs a home.
268
00:11:38,882 --> 00:11:41,681
That stuff might fly
over at That her ton Fuels,
269
00:11:41,718 --> 00:11:43,311
but I'm putting a stop to it.
270
00:11:43,353 --> 00:11:46,220
Mr. Strickland's happy,
the customers are happy.
271
00:11:46,256 --> 00:11:48,691
The only one not happy is you.
272
00:11:48,725 --> 00:11:50,215
But that's not our fault.
273
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:52,558
It's 'cause you're
ina slump.
274
00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:54,586
How many times
do I have to tell you?
275
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,464
My sales come in
at the end of the month.
276
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,729
Okay.
277
00:11:58,768 --> 00:12:01,100
'You go the stink on you,
and everybody can smell it.
278
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,600
HANK: And then, this morning,
I heard Bobby and Joe Jack
279
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,137
refer to a customer as a mark.
280
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,147
( Sighs)
281
00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:14,548
Every single lesson
he's learning is wrong.
282
00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,245
Well, what do you expect?
283
00:12:16,286 --> 00:12:18,118
Joe Jack is racking up sales
284
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,622
and from what your son
tells me
285
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,556
you don't have squat.
286
00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:24,185
Children imitate success, Hank.
287
00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:26,753
I catch my students
imitating me all the time.
288
00:12:26,796 --> 00:12:28,389
Peggy, you know my system.
289
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:29,796
I'll have plenty of success
290
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:33,268
when all my sales come in
at the end of the month.
291
00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,964
We cannot afford to take
that chance, Hank.
292
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,234
According to Rob Reiner,
these years are critical
293
00:12:37,273 --> 00:12:39,503
for Bobby's core value
development.
294
00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:40,941
'You've got to dazzle him
with sales
295
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,378
or he may never
listen to you again.
296
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,472
Come on, pick up the pace!
297
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,711
But... But that's not my system.
298
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,617
Then get a new one.
299
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,990
Just pretend
you're one of those jerks
300
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,652
at the Sales-a-thon.
301
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,719
Okay, on three:
302
00:12:59,762 --> 00:13:02,561
one, two, three.
303
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,896
For Bobby!
304
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,233
Hello.
305
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:16,974
Uh, I would like to sell you
a grill now.
306
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,276
Well, we're just lookin'.
307
00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:21,716
Uh, look no further?
308
00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:23,378
Oh, great, here we go.
309
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:26,480
Yep, here we go
on an exciting journey
310
00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:28,752
that ends with you
buying a grill.
311
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,816
( Chuckling )
312
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:37,596
Uh, you want me to tell you
a joke?
313
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,897
So I pulled that tooth
I was telling you about.
314
00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:42,701
DALE ( on radio ).
Arlen?
315
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,605
Do you read me?
316
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,472
Come in, Dale, Boomhauer?
317
00:13:46,509 --> 00:13:48,375
Bill, is that you?
318
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,743
You didn't say over. Over.
319
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:52,145
Dale! Thank God!
320
00:13:52,181 --> 00:13:53,580
I need water!
321
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:55,448
I'm in a tree!
322
00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:57,817
Be more specific!
What town?
323
00:13:57,854 --> 00:14:00,653
What type of tree? Over.
324
00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:03,022
( Sobbing ):
I don't know!
325
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,458
I fell asleep!
326
00:14:04,494 --> 00:14:08,226
Oh, wait!
Here come a bunch of kids!
327
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,596
Oh, thank God somebody came.
328
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:13,193
Hey, you.
What you doing up there?
329
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:14,203
Did Eduardo send you?
330
00:14:14,237 --> 00:14:19,141
No, see, the wind changed,
and I'm just so dizzy...
331
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,143
How come you're hanging
from a tree?
332
00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:22,269
You a pifiata?
333
00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:25,178
Hey, pifiata,
its my birthday!
334
00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:26,648
( Snickering )
335
00:14:26,682 --> 00:14:29,151
Oh, no.
336
00:14:29,185 --> 00:14:33,622
( Boys laughing )
337
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:38,253
BILL:
No! No! Quit it! No!
338
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,194
( Boys laughing )
339
00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:42,823
Wow. Bill's hew ballooning
buddies sound like a hoot!
340
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:45,527
I should've gone first.
341
00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:52,131
Uh, Mr. Strickland,
I'm glad you're here.
342
00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,906
I know I'm usually kicking it
into gear this time of the month
343
00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:56,708
and I promise ...
344
00:14:56,746 --> 00:14:58,441
Aw, don't sweat it, Old Top!
345
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,074
So you're in a slump.
346
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:05,555
Now, come on, I still got plenty
of use for you yet.
347
00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:07,649
That her on.
348
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,556
Gentlemen, you all
know Hank Hill,
349
00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:11,082
my number-one salesman
12 years running.
350
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:14,757
Stop stalling, Buck.
Where's your bet?
351
00:15:14,797 --> 00:15:16,595
Right here.
I'm betting Hank!
352
00:15:16,632 --> 00:15:17,599
What?!
353
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:20,432
If you win, you get
him for the week.
354
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,995
All right. I call.
355
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:24,735
But, sir, you always
bet Joe Jack.
356
00:15:24,774 --> 00:15:27,573
Uh, I can't this time.
He's selling.
357
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:29,510
You're crapping
the big goose egg!
358
00:15:29,545 --> 00:15:31,809
All right, bet's on.
359
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,111
Show 'em!
360
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,675
Two pair, sevens high.
361
00:15:35,718 --> 00:15:36,981
Full house.
362
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:37,986
No!
363
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,988
That's where them
aces were hiding.
364
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:44,619
Hank, you stand there
and look like a poker chip.
365
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,823
I'll come get
you in a minute.
366
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,232
( Sighs)
367
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:55,226
Bobby, everything I told you
368
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:58,241
about sales being patience
and character
369
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,639
it's all still true.
370
00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:02,736
I didn't show much of either,
and now I'm paying the price.
371
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:05,270
Please promise me you'll
learn from my mistakes.
372
00:16:05,314 --> 00:16:11,276
Uh, okay.
373
00:16:16,025 --> 00:16:16,821
Come on, Bobby.
374
00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:21,353
There's some nuns out there who
don't Know diddly about markup.
375
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,329
When I open this handkerchief,
376
00:16:26,369 --> 00:16:30,533
you're credit card will
magically be back in one piece.
377
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,371
Alla-ka-sizzle.
378
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,341
Aw, geez.
379
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:35,367
( Uncomfortable laugh )
380
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:44,251
This here's our crown jewel.
381
00:16:44,287 --> 00:16:46,722
Our wet apron contest.
382
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:51,523
You do good by me,
I'll let you work the hose.
383
00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:56,263
You told me I could bang the dents
out of my canister with a hammer!
384
00:16:56,299 --> 00:16:58,461
Are you trying to kill me?!
385
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:02,335
I, uh... what I meant
to say was, uh...
386
00:17:02,371 --> 00:17:04,032
I'll get the manager.
387
00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:07,475
Uh, Bobby, I'm not good
with unhappy customers.
388
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,604
That's your old man's
specialty.
389
00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:13,013
If they ask for me,
I'm, uh... uh...
390
00:17:13,049 --> 00:17:15,143
Yeah. Good luck, Bob!
391
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:16,447
( Customers clamoring )
392
00:17:16,485 --> 00:17:18,579
...speak to the
manager, please!
393
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,282
Please be patient, ma'am.
394
00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:22,417
I can't find my pen.
395
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:27,555
Joe Jack, so help me God.
If you took my pen again.
396
00:17:27,597 --> 00:17:31,761
'You don't know anything
about the BTUs on this grill!
397
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:36,398
It took me four hours
to cook my two-inch steaks!
398
00:17:36,439 --> 00:17:38,874
I, uh, maybe--
Look, free cookies!
399
00:17:38,908 --> 00:17:40,706
Cookies?
I'm a diabetic.
400
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:42,074
Get back here!
401
00:17:42,111 --> 00:17:44,375
He's gettin' away!
Follow him!
402
00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:48,008
Uh, sure, this grill is perfect
for indoor grilling.
403
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:49,142
Or heating.
404
00:17:49,185 --> 00:17:52,712
And we at That her ton
guarantee that the gas
405
00:17:52,755 --> 00:17:55,281
will never ever run out.
406
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,725
( Quietly ).
He won me in a card game.
407
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,728
Get out of here
while you still can.
408
00:17:59,762 --> 00:18:04,723
Run! Run! Run!
409
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:08,294
That way!
410
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,863
I just saw a jet ski payment
run out the door.
411
00:18:10,906 --> 00:18:11,873
What happened?
412
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:13,875
Look, I can sell propane
upside-down and blindfolded,
413
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:19,143
but not with my integrity
tied behind my back.
414
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:24,620
There must be some sort of honest
work that needs to be done around here.
415
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,925
Hey, mister, have you seen
Hank Hill?
416
00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:39,094
Dad?
417
00:18:39,135 --> 00:18:41,103
What are you doing
wiping tanks?
418
00:18:41,137 --> 00:18:44,266
I thought that grunt work
was only for rookies.
419
00:18:44,307 --> 00:18:45,274
( Sighs)
420
00:18:45,308 --> 00:18:48,869
Bobby, did you listen to
anything I tried to tell you?
421
00:18:48,911 --> 00:18:50,936
The great ones
practice the basics.
422
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,883
So you thought I could be
a great one, too?
423
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:58,478
I trusted you with the
flanges on your second day.
424
00:18:58,521 --> 00:19:01,786
I think that says it all.
425
00:19:01,824 --> 00:19:02,791
Things are kind of
426
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:04,793
melting down
over at Strickland.
427
00:19:04,827 --> 00:19:06,317
We need you back.
428
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,456
Well, I still got
a debt to pay here.
429
00:19:08,497 --> 00:19:12,434
Uh, Mr. Strickland gave me
the 20 bucks to pay That her on.
430
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:16,302
Huh. That must just be
the first installment.
431
00:19:16,339 --> 00:19:18,967
Let's go satisfy
some customers.
432
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:28,073
( Dry croaking )
433
00:19:38,194 --> 00:19:39,286
Your turn.
434
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:46,692
( Crowd clamoring )
435
00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:52,341
All right, who can I help first?
436
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:53,706
What seems to be the problem?
437
00:19:53,743 --> 00:19:54,972
Well, my tank ran out.
438
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,569
It was supposed to be
a 50-gallon tank.
439
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,478
Ma'am, that's only
a ten-gallon tank.
440
00:19:58,514 --> 00:20:00,243
Must've been
a miscommunication.
441
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,614
I'll take care of it.
442
00:20:02,651 --> 00:20:09,523
I'm glad you are now
officially satisfied.
443
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,954
That was some day,
huh, Bobby?
444
00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:18,695
Actually,
it was pretty horrible.
445
00:20:18,734 --> 00:20:21,533
Tick... ticka-ticka.
Come on, baby.
446
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:24,699
I'm sorry you're not going to get
the sales award this year, Dad.
447
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:28,005
Maybe I should
get back to Lucy.
448
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:30,410
It's foot to head, right?
449
00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:33,211
No, then everyone's
dead, Bobby.
450
00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:36,184
Remember, it's head to feet,
but we'll work on that tomorrow.
451
00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:38,312
Why don't you go lock
the door for me?
452
00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:39,981
I Closin' timel I
453
00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:41,490
I Joe Jack is the winner
454
00:20:41,524 --> 00:20:43,583
I And Hank Hill is the loser. I
455
00:20:43,626 --> 00:20:46,857
Yeah, yeah, okay.
456
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:50,890
I'll take this
one, too, stumpy.
457
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,423
And what can I
do you for?
458
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,994
You're the guy
who gave me the brochures.
459
00:20:55,037 --> 00:20:56,095
Hmm.
460
00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:58,163
The first time I read them,
they made no sense.
461
00:20:58,207 --> 00:21:00,301
But then, it started
sinking in...
462
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,901
It usually does.
463
00:21:01,944 --> 00:21:03,571
BOBBY:
So the guy says,
464
00:21:03,612 --> 00:21:06,980
"I'm switching my trailer park
to propane.
465
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:10,350
I need 500 tanks."
466
00:21:10,386 --> 00:21:12,445
A minute before closing!
467
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,217
You should've seen Joe Jack!
468
00:21:14,256 --> 00:21:17,556
He pulled a flask out of his
desk and started drinking.
469
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:19,960
It was so funny!
470
00:21:19,995 --> 00:21:22,828
Yep, every Grillstravaganza
is different,
471
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:27,029
but they always end the same.
472
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,876
Captioned by Media Access
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473
00:21:36,926 --> 00:21:41,476
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