All language subtitles for King of the Hill s06e04 The Father, the Son, and JC.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,964 ""Russian hand-cranked flashlight""? 2 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,770 Nancy Drew books? What kind of hardware store is this? 3 00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,705 Dad! The world's best hammer! 4 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,982 Sears already sold me the world's best hammer... 5 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,778 so someone's lying. 6 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,276 [Cash register beeping] 7 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,049 I say we just get him a gift certificate. 8 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,647 That's a great idea, Bobby. 9 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,091 We will give your father, who worked so hard to conceive you... 10 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:05,631 the same thing we give the paperboy, who did nothing. 11 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,462 I'm lucky. Cotton is so easy to shop for. 12 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,901 Either he likes what I get him and he's happy... 13 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:15,031 or he hates it and he shoots it and he's happy. 14 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,870 It's the first Christmas dinner in my new apartment... 15 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:22,106 so you better bring a Christmas gift, a housewarming gift... 16 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,080 and a chair if you want to sit. 17 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,448 No problem. I've got some that fold. 18 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,316 Now, how about I buy you an ornament? 19 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:32,287 A ""Peace""? You would like that, you draft dodger! 20 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:35,054 Sure you can't find one with a flag burning on it? 21 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,686 It's Jesus peace, not hippie peace. 22 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:40,357 Either way, we've always been a ""Joy"" family. 23 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,798 -But-- -Joy! 24 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,197 [Beeping] 25 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,161 I gotta go, Dad. 26 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:50,003 There's a propane emergency at the police station. 27 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,078 Oh, everyone out of the way. 28 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,544 The assistant lackey's on the move. 29 00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:56,046 Never been promoted. 30 00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,709 I'm proud to serve as assistant manager... 31 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,582 and Buck will promote me when I'm good and ready. 32 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:08,188 Hank Hill, Strickland Propane, responding to the propane emergency. 33 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,861 There's your emergency. 34 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,954 HANK: Mr. Strickland? 35 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,028 How did you get locked in there? 36 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,898 DWl, Hank. 37 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,561 Blew a 0.2. 38 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,333 It was just a couple of.... Three, three eggnogs. 39 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:24,672 Hell, that shouldn't count, seeing as how it's Christmas and all. 40 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:27,905 But why would you call in a false propane emergency? 41 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:31,450 We're looking at a $50 fine once I report us. 42 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,349 Well, I needed a sober ride, Hank. 43 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,580 They took away my license. 44 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:41,757 Who wants to buy propane from some no-license castrato? 45 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,353 Tell you what, sir. Why don't you let me drive you around? 46 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:48,593 I like to drive, you like to sit. Everybody wins. 47 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:54,163 You drive nice, Hank. 48 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,640 I pretend the gas pedal's an egg. 49 00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:58,432 Pull over. 50 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,309 Now I remember where I was going last night. 51 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:07,180 Yep. Douglas makes a good fir. 52 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,089 -This is your tree. -She's a beaut, Hank. 53 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,996 How are you fixed for ornaments? 54 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,468 ""Peace,"" huh? 55 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:29,068 Thanks again for the tree, Mr. Strickland. 56 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,803 Of course, in a way, every year you buy me a tree. 57 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:32,878 [Laughing] 58 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,473 You know, the paychecks. 59 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,743 No, it's the least I can do. 60 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,444 You may be driving me all over creation. 61 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,521 The judge says I ain't getting my license back... 62 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,556 till I do my community service. 63 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,955 Gotta build some house for Jimmy Carter. 64 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:50,290 You get to build a Habitat for Humanity house... 65 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,693 for driving drunk? 66 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,733 I've been on the waiting list for two years. 67 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,500 I tell you what, Old Top. 68 00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:02,303 How would you like it if I made you assistant manager of building this house? 69 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:03,773 You mean it? 70 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,311 -Well, thank you, sir. -[Laughing] No, I thank you. 71 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:13,214 And, long story short, Mr. Strickland tells me I can build the house. 72 00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:14,843 He did not! 73 00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:17,388 He did, Bill. Why would I make it up? 74 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:20,916 I don't know. Sometimes I lie to get attention. 75 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,619 -You want to help me or not? -Yeah, man. 76 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,527 -Yeah! -Wingo! 77 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,863 I'd like to volunteer to be in charge of booby traps. 78 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,199 -There will be no booby traps, Dale. -What? 79 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,505 Oh, right. Got you, Hank. 80 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,607 No booby traps. 81 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,947 Groundbreaking's day after tomorrow. 82 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:45,074 I wish I could go to bed right now and wake up in two days... 83 00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:46,708 with a shovel in my hand. 84 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,787 -Mom! -Shovel for Christmas. 85 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,913 You know what? I'm too excited to eat. 86 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:54,824 I think I'll grab one of my shovels and practice on Bill's yard. 87 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,155 [Doorbell ringing] 88 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,695 Come on, Hank. Let's go shoot us a Christmas tree. 89 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,601 Well, Dad, you know how much I love to yell, ""Ready, aim, timber""... 90 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:08,731 but this year Mr. Strickland bought me a tree. 91 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,402 But we always.... 92 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:17,506 Only a man with a narrow urethra would think that skinny stick was a tree. 93 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:23,019 Too bad we can't get Dad a new dad for Christmas. 94 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,419 Or can we? 95 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:28,717 Bobby, I have turned your terrible idea into a brilliant one. 96 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,826 The best present for your father... 97 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:33,364 would be a healthy relationship with his father... 98 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:36,367 one where they can express their real feelings for each other. 99 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,905 And, conveniently, I can get the same thing for Cotton. 100 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:43,167 Didi gets her bath gel like always, and I'm done. 101 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,975 -Can I put my name on it? -I'll put your name on it. 102 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:48,809 [Grunting] 103 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,379 Hank, why don't you invite your father to the groundbreaking? 104 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,716 Because I already know his answer. 105 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,847 No, followed by an insult. 106 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,891 Oh, so now you're a psychic. 107 00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:02,893 Oh, Cotton, Hank has something to tell you. 108 00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,197 Did you see that coming? 109 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,258 Dad, if you're not doing anything Thursday... 110 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,667 well, we're having this groundbreaking ceremony... 111 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:17,004 -for this house I'm building for charity. -Charity? 112 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,045 Only Charity I care about dances in a G-string. 113 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,943 And I'm spending the day with her. 114 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,449 Well, it's just, you know, you spent my birthday with her. 115 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,109 I thought maybe.... 116 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,915 But.... Okay. 117 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,459 Okay, I'll go. You win. 118 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,056 If I wanted to see a big baby cry... 119 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,598 I'd go home to my baby, crybaby. 120 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,199 [Drilling] 121 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,267 HANK: Okay, I've put together a schedule... 122 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,208 which gives us four days to finish this house. 123 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:55,041 The frame's a prefab, so we could build it in two... 124 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:58,117 but let's take four and really enjoy it. 125 00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:00,276 Since we're starting from scratch... 126 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:04,823 why don't we make it a dream house and put the toilet in the living room? 127 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,956 Oh, Cotton, I am so glad you're here. 128 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,086 If Hank asked me one more time... 129 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,722 ""Where's Cotton? Where's Cotton? Where's...."" 130 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,596 Well, here's Cotton! 131 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,293 Brought my bayonet. 132 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,871 Figured if it was good enough to kill 50 men... 133 00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:22,031 it's good enough to slice some dry wall. 134 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:23,403 Well, gosh, Dad. 135 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,342 I know you were saving that for when they unfroze Hitler. 136 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,970 -Yeah, well, l-- -Hey, Buck. 137 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,640 I saved the best nail pouch for you. 138 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,509 So, this is gonna be Arlen Pines. 139 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,350 Didn't recognize the place without all the tombstones. 140 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,087 [Grunting] 141 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,025 Hey, hey! Hey! Them people are stealing your tools! 142 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,759 Oh, that's Alla and Niefko Lubecki. 143 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,160 You're building this house for them. I know they'd love to meet you. 144 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,870 And don't worry, sir. You'll be back behind the wheel... 145 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,139 as soon as I finish repaying your debt to society. 146 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:03,941 Thanks, Hank. You really pulled my eggs out the frying pan. 147 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:07,508 All right, listen, people. I got a announcement to make. 148 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,145 I'm not one to give credit where credit is due... 149 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,157 but doggone it, this time I just can't help myself. 150 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:17,593 Hank Hill has been my assistant manager for 20 years. 151 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:22,263 In all that time I've had two wives, dozens of mistresses... 152 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,996 five heart valves, three plastic, two pig... 153 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,436 but I only needed one Hank. 154 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,937 Merry Christmas, Hank. 155 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:32,806 I'm promoting you to manager. 156 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,945 Manager? 157 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,008 Mr. Strickland, l.... 158 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,852 I love you. 159 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,883 [All gasping] 160 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,385 [Grunting] 161 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:56,124 Why did Dad have to act like a woman in front of Grandpa? 162 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,964 Grandpa hates women. 163 00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:01,130 Your father is going out of his way to ruin his Christmas present... 164 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,368 so we will have to go out of our way to save it. 165 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,539 We will make a photo calendar... 166 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:11,913 each and every month a reminder of their special father-son bond. 167 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,149 Not happy. 168 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,084 Not happy. 169 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,856 Can't even find one picture where they're both happy. 170 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:24,725 Wait. If you splice Grandpa's head over yours in the wedding photo... 171 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:28,161 it'll look like Dad and Grandpa are shaking hands. 172 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,665 And we'll put it on a mug. 173 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,338 [All laughing] 174 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,438 Hey, Hank. We started without you. 175 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,577 -Dang old Hank and Buck, man, that old-- -Now you've gone too far. 176 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,114 Cement is permanent. 177 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,149 As permanent as your love? 178 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,377 Shut up, Dale! 179 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,782 -ls okay? -No. 180 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,720 Is not okay, Niefko. 181 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,519 My boss demoted me. 182 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,920 I was a manager for 10 seconds... 183 00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:59,725 and all I managed to do was blurt my guts out like a mental patient. 184 00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,429 I don't know where this stuff comes from. 185 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,400 Something must be wrong with me. 186 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,837 Niefko see. 187 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,840 Bad to say those things one man to other man. 188 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,610 But still, you much to be lucky for. 189 00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:15,579 Texas, USA, police no break down doors... 190 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,411 say, ""Come to Army now! Now you shot! "" 191 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,179 Here, kids walk to school. Is good school. 192 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,687 God bless you, builders of house and driveway. 193 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,188 God bless America. 194 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,552 [All cheering] 195 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,006 Harley Davidson. 196 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,275 I think so, too, Niefko. 197 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,551 Who would like a hot cup of love? 198 00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:57,344 [Phone ringing] 199 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:59,424 HANK: Peggy, telephone. 200 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,087 I got it. 201 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,182 Hello? 202 00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:04,489 Well, hello, Mrs, Stricklaid, 203 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,365 [Sighing] Hi, Dad. 204 00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:09,730 I'm just calling to say you ain't welcome to Christmas dinner. 205 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,063 Good day. 206 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,670 My dad uninvited me for Christmas. 207 00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:16,764 Oh, Hank. 208 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:20,039 Honey, why don't you call him back and tell him how that makes you feel? 209 00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,670 Absolutely not. 210 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,646 You saw what happened when l... 211 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,581 emoted all over Buck. 212 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,084 No, no. It'll be okay. 213 00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:33,055 We'll just have Christmas dinner with the Niefkos over at their new house. 214 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,288 Yep. It'll be a great new tradition. 215 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,926 Christmas with the Niefkos. 216 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,365 Didi, we are the wives of stubborn, stubborn men. 217 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:48,838 They are lucky to have us, aren't they? 218 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,875 What do you want, Peggy? 219 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:54,912 I want Cotton to re-invite Hank to Christmas dinner. 220 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,313 Oh, Cotton will not do that because Hank is too cruel. 221 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:03,415 No, Didi, Cotton is the cruel one. Hank is the one who sells propane. 222 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:07,583 But Hank is cruel. He said he loved Buck. He should say he loves Cotton. 223 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:11,220 And that's not just what I think, it's what Cotton told me to think. 224 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,991 Cotton is jealous? 225 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,895 But that is a human emotion. 226 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,035 That little four-foot mushball. 227 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,076 Now, I'm not sure if it's the guest or the man of the house that says grace... 228 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,937 but I got the English, so I'll take the wheel. 229 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,408 [Pounding on door] 230 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,087 -Dad? -Looking for this? 231 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,722 Well, you told me you left GH sleeping in a bag of hammers. 232 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:44,990 How could you trick me like that? You ain't bright. 233 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,564 Peggy told me how. 234 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,860 Why did you invite my dad here? 235 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,459 You are ruining our new holiday tradition... 236 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,797 Christmas with the Niefkos. 237 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:58,069 Cotton, how would you like to stay here and join us for Christmas dinner? 238 00:12:58,177 --> 00:12:59,371 [Sniffing] 239 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,343 Well, something smells good. 240 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,541 Could be turkey. Probably fresh particle board. 241 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:11,219 Well, that is a beautiful story, Colonel, but not as beautiful as this house. 242 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,917 Don't you think this house is beautiful, Cotton? 243 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,492 It's okay. 244 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:20,062 -I like the job you did on the dry wall. -Well, thanks, Dad. 245 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,033 I took a risk and went with the National Gypsum... 246 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,433 instead of the Georgia-Pacific. 247 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,130 I hope Buck doesn't mind. 248 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,331 Buck? 249 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,305 Buck! Buck, Buck, Buck! 250 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:34,141 Of course he's gonna mind. Look at this rat box. 251 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,941 It ain't got no doorstop. 252 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,141 Someone opens the door too hard... 253 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,610 hole in the wall. 254 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,949 Dad, stop. It's not finished yet. 255 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:45,319 I don't see no chair rail. You know what that means. 256 00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:47,790 Man stands up from his chair too fast.... 257 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,890 Oh, come on, Hank. Tell your father what you told your boss... 258 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,465 and what you tell your stupid dog every day. 259 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,627 Give that miserable old man the gift of love for Christmas. 260 00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,569 This hanging lamp don't look like it can hold a man's weight. 261 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,467 Grandpa, be careful! 262 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,735 [Glass shattering] 263 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,834 Come on, please, Dad. Stop! 264 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,914 If you want him to stop, just tell him how you feel. 265 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,278 That window looks awful flimsy. 266 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,082 -Dad, l-- -You can do it, Hank. 267 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:16,511 Dad... 268 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,286 I hate you. 269 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,357 [Gasping] 270 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,056 Is okay? 271 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,021 You hate me, do you? 272 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:31,000 After all the love I allowed your mother to give you. 273 00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:34,334 Well, Merry Christmas and stay out. 274 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,135 Tell Santy Claus to hurry. 275 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,403 This place ain't gonna have a chimney for long. 276 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,371 [Cotton yelling] 277 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,281 [Glass shattering] 278 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,980 Hank, you don't really hate your father. 279 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:52,489 These are just bigger emotions than you're used to expressing. 280 00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:53,922 You got confused. 281 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,790 Why don't you go inside and apologize? 282 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,488 I also left my purse in there. 283 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,532 I am not apologizing. I meant what I said. 284 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,727 You can't really hate your dad. 285 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,098 He's your dad. 286 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,831 Yeah, well, there's nothing anywhere... 287 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:09,430 that says a father and son have to like each other... 288 00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:11,406 Iet alone love each other. 289 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:24,623 [Grunting] 290 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,959 CARTER: You can just leave the won tons out there. 291 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,550 [Carter speaking Chinese] 292 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,857 Oh, you're not from the Noodle House. 293 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,991 No, but I wish I was. 294 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:39,662 -Chinese people don't have Christmas. -What's wrong, little boy? 295 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,172 My dad and my grandpa are fighting. 296 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:45,505 Even if I get the Beiiy Hilltapes I asked for... 297 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,205 it'd still be the worst Christmas ever. 298 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:51,147 Land sakes! A family fighting at Christmas? 299 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,911 That's not right. Why don't I try talking to them? 300 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,213 No offense, sir... 301 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:59,155 but you couldn't even talk your way out of working on Christmas Eve. 302 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,748 I may just be a carpenter... 303 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:03,089 but I'm often called upon to resolve disputes. 304 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,560 ""He took my drill""... 305 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,096 ""That guy swiped my chalk""... 306 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,165 and so on. 307 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:10,394 Well, you do have a very soothing accent. 308 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,060 We'll take my car. 309 00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:15,402 Wow! You must be some carpenter. 310 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,941 [Cotton yelling] 311 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,305 Bobby? 312 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,644 I think we might be able to get Dad his present after all... 313 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,446 thanks to this nice old guy. 314 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:34,292 I'm gonna get back in the limo. I got Joseph on hold. 315 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,158 Oh, my God! Jimmy Carter. 316 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,830 I am Bobby's mother, Peggy Hill. 317 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,363 I teach a short unit on your presidency. 318 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,596 Teaching is one of our most noble professions. 319 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,366 Well, thank you for your honesty. 320 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,832 They could not take that away from you. 321 00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,378 You must be Hank. 322 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,309 You ran our country... 323 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,910 America. 324 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,378 Hank, I understand you told your father you hate him. 325 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:05,253 Hate's a strong word, Mr. President. That's why I used it. 326 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,082 Yep, hate my dad. 327 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,989 You may say you hate your daddy... 328 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,426 but I seem to recall the Egyptians once said... 329 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,090 they would never accept lsrael's right to exist. 330 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,464 Now, I think we all know how that turned out. 331 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:21,038 Now, why don't we go inside and talk things over? 332 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,938 I'm not going in there. I hate the man. 333 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,712 Feels good every time I say it. 334 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,243 Mr. Hill? 335 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,048 -Jimmy Carter? -Yes, this is Jimmy. 336 00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,051 Now, how about I come inside... 337 00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,089 and visit with you about what your son said? 338 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,658 I'd love to meet a war hero face to face. 339 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,600 Assume the position, Mr. President! 340 00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:53,068 [Stuttering] There's no need for that. 341 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,902 I've been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. 342 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,869 Look, the Secret Service didn't want me to come in here at all. 343 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,811 This was a compromise. 344 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,984 I'd have done the same if I was in your shoes. 345 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,277 Same idea, bigger gun. 346 00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,953 Good. Something we can agree on. 347 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,683 Let's build on that. 348 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,817 Why do you think your son said he hates you? 349 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,361 He's a hateful crybaby. 350 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:20,489 He was crying the second he popped his head out of his mama. 351 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,465 Like I told your father, in these highly-charged situations... 352 00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:27,767 I find it's helpful to say something positive about the other side. 353 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:30,671 Sadat, for example, thought Begin had excellent posture. 354 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,438 Yeah? What'd my dad say about me? 355 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,345 Why don't you go first? 356 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,344 Come on. 357 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,751 Deep down, just between you and me. I won't tell anyone. 358 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,915 -You don't really hate your son. -Yes, I do. 359 00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,286 -But you don't-- -Head to toe. 360 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:48,689 -No, really-- -And his wife. 361 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,921 Look, he was a baby once. 362 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,088 Everyone hated that baby. 363 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:54,665 Hated a baby? 364 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,331 Okay, how about this? 365 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,901 Say there was a magic button you could push... 366 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,337 that would make Hank disappear forever. 367 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,001 Everything else in the world would stay the same... 368 00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:07,840 but Hank, your son, would never have existed. 369 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,710 Now, I'm serious here, mister. Would you push that button? 370 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,252 I ain't gots to answer no hypothetical situation. 371 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,911 Would you push that button? 372 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,113 [Growling] 373 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:20,986 Not yes. 374 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,693 My father said he wouldn't obliterate me? 375 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,127 His words? 376 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,665 Now do you recognize his right to exist? 377 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:34,769 Wonderful. 378 00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:37,598 You both seem to prefer a universe... 379 00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,701 in which the other party hasn't magically disappeared. 380 00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,939 I think we have a framework for peace. 381 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,982 Now, how do you feel about going outside? 382 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,451 I still got some nails left. 383 00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:54,624 If you come outside, I'll let you shoot at my bulletproof limo. 384 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:13,172 Hank, Cotton, I see a new era of trust and understanding between you. 385 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,777 Not so fast, Chompers. We had a deal. 386 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:21,051 I gets to shoot me a bulletproof motorcade. 387 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:24,849 I think you got more important things to do right now than shoot up my car. 388 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,517 -No, I don't. -Look, you're not shooting up my car. 389 00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:31,824 Hold on. Now, Dad, did he really tell you, you could shoot up his car? 390 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,454 With my nail gun. 391 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,964 Is this true, sir? 392 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,558 Well, I think I may have put it on the table... 393 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:39,330 but it seems to me the important thing is-- 394 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,030 I'm sorry. You gave your word. 395 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,213 COTTON: Oops. 396 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,438 They told me it was bulletproof. 397 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,380 Let's get the heck out of here! 398 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,978 That nail gun's pretty accurate for.... 399 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,817 What's it running at? 175 psi? 400 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,653 -180. -Sounds about right. 401 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,057 Boy, I love shooting a nail gun. 402 00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:05,423 I love shooting a nail gun, too. 403 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,190 That was amazing. 404 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,928 Dad and Grandpa don't hate each other... 405 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,937 the Lubeckis got most of their house back... 406 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:16,597 all because Jesus showed up. 407 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,842 Bobby, what are you talking about? 408 00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:22,504 That guy. A carpenter, worked a miracle... 409 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,978 his name was JC, rode in a limo.... 410 00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,348 -Him? -You thought that was.... 411 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,191 Well, he's nobody but a one-terming peanut farmer. 412 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,761 Man wore a sweater. 413 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,961 Henpecked by the OPEC. 414 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,761 And, Bobby, that is how I saved Christmas. 415 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,375 BUCK: No, I thaik you, 416 00:22:31,375 --> 00:22:41,375 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 417 00:22:41,425 --> 00:22:45,975 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31938

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.