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1
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,993
I'm running behind
for my Booster Club meeting.
2
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:40,267
Now I'll probably have to sit
at the wobbly table.
3
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,402
Yello.
4
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,535
Well, Substitute Teacher
of the Year, Peggy Hill.
5
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,772
Go on.
6
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,381
The high school? Teaching? Me?
7
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,709
Wait, who is this really?
8
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,114
Really?
9
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,316
Today? Yes, of course. Oh, no. Thank you.
10
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:02,227
Guess who is subbing for high school
geometry teacher Tammy Charbonneau...
11
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:05,458
while she takes an eight-week,
doctor-ordered, bed-rest, maternity leave?
12
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,264
-Me. Peggy Hill.
-That was going to be my guess exactly.
13
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:13,931
This is the major leagues, Hank.
The bigs, the show.
14
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,669
Oh, my God! Eight weeks.
Do you know what this means?
15
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:20,236
It means that I have a pretty good chance
of actually learning their names.
16
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:23,009
Everything's happening so fast.
17
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,921
It's beautiful, isn't it?
18
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,493
Tammy Charbonneau.
19
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,235
Peggy Hill.
20
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,308
Excusa me? Seriora Miriam Caney?
21
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,239
Me llamo Peggy Hill.
22
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,974
I have followed your career
with such interest.
23
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,517
Seventeen years teaching
high school Espanol...
24
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,949
you have never once gotten sick...
25
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,521
or if you have gotten sick,
you have never called in sick.
26
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,647
Either way, I am subbing geometry.
27
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,727
Well, bienvenido a Arlen High.
28
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,319
My, what lovely spectacles.
29
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,731
The better to see
promising new talent with.
30
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,135
Here you go.
31
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:23,232
ANNOUNCER: Number 33,
David Kalaiki Alii, The Flying Hawaiian!
32
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,869
He says aloha to the end zone...
33
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,914
and aloha to the Temple Tigers.
34
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:32,077
It means both hello and goodbye.
35
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,347
My wife is Polynesian.
36
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,082
Arlen High is unstoppable!
37
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,382
[All cheering excitedly]
38
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,488
First order of Booster Club business.
39
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:48,034
How's the programs coming
for next week's game? Terrel.
40
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,064
As you all know,
the money from the programs...
41
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,539
help pay for the cheerleaders' shoes.
42
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,406
Every business owner here has taken out...
43
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,071
ad space in this week's program...
44
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,673
except Dale Gribble of Dale's Dead-Bug.
45
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:12,047
My secretary messed up again?
She is so fired.
46
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,926
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
47
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:24,002
And the man walked
around the world and said to the king:
48
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,896
"Sir, I come from France.
49
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,742
"Sir-come for-ance."
50
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,171
You see?
51
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,404
[Peggy chuckling]
52
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:39,517
-Hey, dude.
-And you must be David Kalaiki Alii.
53
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,450
Yup. I guess you might have heard of me.
54
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,285
Hey, how's it going?
55
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,016
Yes. You are the person
who did not answer present...
56
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,095
when I took roll 28 minutes ago.
57
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,555
Okay.
58
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,725
I see from Miss Charbonneau's notes
that you all have some homework due.
59
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,599
So, I'll start with you, David.
60
00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:02,464
I didn't do it.
I'll take a C or a B or whatever.
61
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,546
I am not going to tell you
how to do your job.
62
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,614
Peggy!
63
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,154
Hurry up and sit down
before the PE coaches get here.
64
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,021
It gets in your clothes.
65
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,793
-So, how's your day going?
-Glorious.
66
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,929
Although, can I ask you if you know
a student named David Kalaiki Alii?
67
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,400
The Flying Hawaiian. He runs the 40 in 4.5.
68
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,902
Yes. Anyway...
69
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,599
I checked David's records
and he has a B-plus average overall.
70
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:38,870
But he seems to have trouble
applying himself in geometry.
71
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,044
Marlin At water,
Assistant Driver's Ed/Health.
72
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,584
Peggy, David is our star fullback.
73
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:47,949
He doesn't have a lot of time to study,
so we cut him some slack.
74
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,989
At Tom Landry Middle School,
we would never think of extending...
75
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,991
special privileges to the athletes.
76
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,858
Peggy, this isn't middle school,
this is real life.
77
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,431
We've got college football scouts
at our games...
78
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,934
and they're not coming to watch David
draw a triangle.
79
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:06,963
Don't worry, Peggy.
David Kalaiki Alii is un-teachable anyway.
80
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,369
Un-teachable?
81
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:12,105
I spent six weeks in Health
trying to get him to brush up and down.
82
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,805
He's like a wall.
83
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:20,584
And he continued to sleep peacefully.
It was pure chaos.
84
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,280
Well, how about that?
85
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:26,485
Your first day on campus
and you already met David Kalaiki Alii.
86
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,425
He's The Flying Hawaiian!
87
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,928
If I were two years younger...
88
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,661
Well, first, he is your age. And second...
89
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:40,504
David is considered a special case.
They call him "un-teachable.�
90
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,234
Well, he can't be good at everything.
91
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,105
You'd be surprised, Bobby.
92
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:49,115
He plays offense, defense,
and returns punts.
93
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,684
It looks like Luanne isn't the only one
with a crush on David.
94
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,721
But you know what?
He's just another student to me.
95
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,450
No different from the nerds
or the suck-ups.
96
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:03,052
And I have decided to give that boy
the high-school education he deserves.
97
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,599
So, it may only be a theory...
98
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,667
[School bell ringing]
99
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,236
But it will, in fact,
be on next week's midterm.
100
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:16,532
Oh, wait. David.
Honey, can you spare a moment?
101
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,607
I wanted to talk to you
about your class work.
102
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,705
I have noticed that you have a zero grade.
103
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:26,309
You have no homework points
and no participation points.
104
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,880
[Grunts in assent]
105
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,618
I would like to tutor you after class.
106
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:35,157
I have football practice after class.
107
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,060
How about geometry practice after that...
108
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,100
with a play book by Coach Peggy Hill?
109
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,795
Okay.
110
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,436
And, David, I'm glad we got to rap.
111
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,894
-There you are!
-David.
112
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,026
David.
113
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,359
David!
114
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:15,593
[Pop music playing on car stereo]
115
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,371
David!
116
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,101
David!
117
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,305
David, you forgot your notes.
118
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,410
Hey, you know, you run fast.
119
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,190
PEGGY: Stop!
120
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,285
Okay. Please hand in your midterm.
121
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,625
[School bell ringing]
122
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:48,998
David, I just want to say that
it has been a pleasure educating you.
123
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:53,096
I think I have learned just as much
from you as you have from me.
124
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,467
-Well.
-Okay.
125
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,976
[Tense instrumental music]
126
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:12,553
Okay. Quarter inch to the left,
and eighth inch back to the right.
127
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:16,520
-No, an eighth.
-Hank! We just lost our star fullback.
128
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,755
-What? What happened?
-Peggy Hill happened.
129
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,494
"No pass, no play!" She flunked David.
130
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,900
Now he's out for three weeks
academic suspension.
131
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,996
Do you know what happens
in those three weeks?
132
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:31,271
San Marcos, Belton, McMaynerbury.
McMaynerbury, Hank!
133
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:34,439
Now, hold on.
I'm sure it was just an accident.
134
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,346
No, Hank. This is an accident.
135
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,922
Now you got two messes to clean up.
136
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,831
How could you flunk The Flying Hawaiian?
137
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,468
Haven't you ever heard
of "no pass, no play"?
138
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:09,811
Do not try to pin all of this on me.
I only did the "no pass.�
139
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,642
What happens after that
is none of my business.
140
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,982
I want you to change his grade.
141
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:19,525
If I were to give David a passing grade,
that would be a failure on my part.
142
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:24,154
And I am not failing. I am doing A work.
143
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:28,059
This is crunch time.
We're going up against San Marcos...
144
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,035
Belton, and McMaynerbury.
McMaynerbury!
145
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,662
We need him to go to state.
146
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:37,209
I am sorry, Hank. But teaching high school
is my "going to state."�
147
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:42,942
No offense, Peggy, but I don't see anybody
renting buses to go to your state.
148
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:54,021
Hey, guys. You know,
the strangest thing happened today.
149
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,927
A giant rat crawled into my in box
and died.
150
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:06,601
-What happened to your frames?
-They suddenly went out of style.
151
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,003
This is about David, isn't it?
152
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:13,674
David did failing work.
He got a failing grade.
153
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,512
Of all people, I would expect
my fellow educators to support me.
154
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,450
You want to change the world,
go back to middle school.
155
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,248
It's too late here.
156
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,362
ANNOUNCER: And a third fumble
from senior Charlie Macken...
157
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,659
who was named Arlen's
Scholar Athlete of the Year!
158
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,790
He's all yours, Princeton!
159
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,635
PRESIDENT: All right.
We can absorb this loss.
160
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,868
And it wasn't a conference game.
161
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,138
And we'll probably squeak by next week...
162
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:48,010
because Belton's still reeling
from the drug bust!
163
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,139
And then it's McMaynerbury!
164
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,811
And there's not a single addict
on that mother-loving team!
165
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:57,816
Dickie, there's got to be something
in those law books of yours.
166
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,551
Look under "loophole.�
167
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,323
What if we got him a work-study
like I had at the print shop my junior year?
168
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:08,367
Yeah. David drops Mrs. Hill's class,
takes a work-study at Terrell's print shop.
169
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:11,494
Hey, look, I got Billy
breathing down my neck as it is.
170
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,301
I don't need another punk in there
making me look bad.
171
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,707
I volunteer Strickland Propane
to jump through this little loophole.
172
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:22,213
Now, David can work for me till
the swallows get back from Capastrami.
173
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,315
Hank, can you slap together
a make-up mid-term?
174
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,854
I'll do it quickly,
but it won't be slapped together.
175
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,115
And the vaporization rate
of a 100-pound propane cylinder...
176
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:38,323
at 70 degrees Fahrenheit,
is how many BTU's per hour?
177
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,595
Can I have a chair?
178
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,469
-Propane 101?
-Yeah.
179
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:50,476
It's a work-study thing
approved by the Board of Education.
180
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:54,480
So, you and your waffle boys
did an end run around Peggy Hill.
181
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:58,779
Peggy. years from now
no one will remember what a hexagon is...
182
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:03,314
but you win state
and that goes up on the water tower.
183
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,451
-And how is David doing?
-David is doing great.
184
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,894
He knows more about propane
than any Hawaiian I've ever met.
185
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:19,233
He does? Oh, what was I thinking?
186
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,200
I am in over my head.
187
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:25,437
What made me think
that I could teach high school?
188
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,411
I so wanted to be like
Welcome Back, Kotter.
189
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:32,542
Now I'm like the real Gabe Kaplan.
I am a loser.
190
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:38,783
Okay. The test is gonna be
one essay question...
191
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,689
open serviceman's manual.
192
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,491
Just tell me what you love most
about propane.
193
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,135
Nice hand-off.
194
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:04,483
Just like the one you did
three weeks ago in the game.
195
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,882
All right. Let's see what we got here.
196
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,381
Okay.
197
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,892
"Strickland Propene...
198
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:17,219
"does not have a vending machine.
199
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:22,130
"It smells, and I thank God every day
I get home...
200
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:26,232
"that I didn't get exploded. The end."�
201
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,823
May God have mercy on me.
202
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,899
David passed, didn't he?
203
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,037
Oh, yeah. I guess he did pass.
204
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,774
I gave him an A.
205
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,850
So coupled with my F...
206
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,115
your A brings him
to a respectable passing C.
207
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,382
Well, good for you. Good for David.
208
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:23,421
Good for Arlen football.
Everybody's a winner.
209
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:28,165
Yeah. Though the principal
kind of threw out your F.
210
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,299
So right now he's on honor roll.
211
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:37,004
I just wanted you to hear that from me.
212
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:41,445
All I'm saying is
you have the tendencies of a Capricorn.
213
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,316
-There's Hank!
-Hey!
214
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:47,785
[Singing] For Hank's a jolly good fellow
For Hank's a jolly good fellow
215
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,549
For Hank's a jolly good fellow
216
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:52,590
Because we're going to state
217
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:56,185
Because he gave David Kalaiki Alii an A.
218
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,195
-Because he gave--
-All right.
219
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:03,000
I will not have a respected educator
bend over for his own beer.
220
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,968
Make Peggy do it.
She's got to be good for something.
221
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,736
Now, that is not fair, Dale.
Peggy did the best she could.
222
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,640
Which was crappy.
223
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,216
So, I'm afraid I will have to take
an emergency medical leave.
224
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,344
Well, I have diagnosed myself
as having the early stages...
225
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,821
of single-digit carpal tunnel syndrome.
226
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,153
Or as I call it, "chalk finger."
227
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:27,916
[Hank sighs]
228
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:32,225
David failed that test.
His essay made me want to vomit.
229
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,497
Which I did. But I gave him that A
to get us to state.
230
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:42,936
Hank Hill, I am speechless.
I literally have nothing to say.
231
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,639
Not one word.
232
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,136
Nada.
233
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,672
Zilch.
234
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:49,973
Zero.
235
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,408
I don't know what you're waiting for.
236
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:57,319
[Men cheering loudly]
237
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,754
All right!
238
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,759
Get this beautiful human being
some waffles.
239
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,989
MAN 1: Yeah! Way to go, Hank!
240
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,086
[Men booing]
241
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,962
MAN 2: Get her out of here.
242
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:11,937
David Kalaiki Alii received an A...
243
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,938
on his propane exam.
244
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,306
All right!
245
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,003
But he deserved an F.
246
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,871
[All cheering excitedly]
247
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,043
Long live, Hank!
248
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,983
Now, my wife Peggy...
249
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,779
[Crowd booing]
250
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,183
Now, hold on.
251
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,587
Sure, a week ago
I would have been booing my wife...
252
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,686
HANK: right along with you guys.
DALE: You were, Hank.
253
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,123
Yeah.
254
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:44,192
But what I realized
is that she was right all along.
255
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:49,140
It's time to ground The Flying Hawaiian.
I'm giving him an F.
256
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:52,837
Too late. I already turned in
the sign-off sheet and the grade.
257
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,379
David is in!
258
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,539
Sir, did you read that essay?
259
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,717
It's a classic.
260
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:02,618
"I thank God every day
I didn't get exploded.�
261
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,152
Gets to you.
262
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,750
Excuse me. But I cannot let you
ruin that boy's life.
263
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,894
I think that there might be people...
264
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:13,955
who would be interested in the fact that
David is being deprived of an education...
265
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:17,525
such as his mother, and the school board...
266
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,503
and the secretary of education.
267
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,835
Whoa right there! Wait a minute.
268
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,933
Look. We don't want to go dragging
the boy's mother into this.
269
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,604
I'm sure we could work something out.
270
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:35,410
You may keep your creamy bribe.
We are going to his mother.
271
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,184
And we are gonna tell on you.
272
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:43,657
The Booster Club is cheating David
out of an education.
273
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,922
And what is worse,
David is cheating himself.
274
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,497
I'd like to show you something.
275
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,238
David is learning disabled.
276
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,407
He studies every day
as soon as he gets home from practice...
277
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,910
until he falls asleep every night.
278
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:02,913
I usually come in and find him
slumped over his desk...
279
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:06,417
using that play book you made him
as a pillow.
280
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,412
He's a good boy.
He just has trouble retaining anything.
281
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,885
He deserves an A for effort, though.
282
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,154
No wonder even I couldn't teach him.
283
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,523
Sports is all God gave David.
284
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:20,565
And it's the only way he'll get to college.
285
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,902
Well, then...
286
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:27,605
we're sorry to have disturbed you,
Mrs. Kalaiki Alii.
287
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:37,449
And the Oscar goes to me!
288
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,709
Come on out, fellows.
289
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:43,651
We smoked them good.
Bought it hook, line, and sinker.
290
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,747
Thanks to you, Mrs. K.A.
291
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,787
Hey, what's all this crap?
292
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,022
Where's all my Swanks?
293
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,655
We kept you in the game, stud.
294
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,257
Hey, what's going on?
295
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,766
I know all my ABC's.
296
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,464
The Hills were gonna turn you in
for flunking.
297
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:04,203
-We told them you were a slowpoke.
-I'm not stupid.
298
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,011
I can't believe you did this.
299
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,444
It's so...
300
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:10,744
stupid.
301
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,648
David, stupid is going
to get you to college.
302
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,881
I'll tell you what's stupid.
303
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:19,947
Me giving you that Trans Am
if you ain't gonna drive us to state!
304
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,566
Hey, Miss Hill.
305
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,868
Oh, no, David.
The pep rally is down the hallway, honey.
306
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,070
Wait. Did you poop yourself?
307
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,800
I deserve that.
308
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,777
I guess if I'd worked harder...
309
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:45,181
you guys wouldn't be so willing
to believe I was learning-disabled.
310
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:48,914
You're not? But that explained everything.
311
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,648
It was all a sham.
312
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,225
My mom and the Booster Club
cooked it up.
313
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,325
Wait. "Sham," that's the right word, right?
314
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,865
Yes. But I would have said "scheme."
It conveys more sneakiness.
315
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:04,698
Yeah. Well, I've been thinking about this
"no pass, no play" stuff.
316
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,096
And if I don't pass, then I should "no play."�
317
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,699
Really?
318
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,369
I probably should have something
to fall back on, anyway.
319
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:15,846
I mean, the odds of me
not making pro are what, 50-50?
320
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,948
So, what do you say
you teach me geometry before the game?
321
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,110
I am so proud of you, David.
322
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,656
But I could not even teach Albert Einstein
all of geometry...
323
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,952
in an afternoon.
324
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,153
Even if it meant
that Einstein's team could go to state.
325
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,464
Wait.
326
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,867
Maybe there is something
you can learn in an afternoon.
327
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:41,170
HANK: So, you see, propane is a liquid.
328
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:44,272
But it comes out as a gas.
329
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:50,239
What you need, David,
is a way of associating the lesson...
330
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,374
with something that's familiar to you.
331
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:56,046
For instance, okay, Gatorade is a liquid...
332
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:59,955
but when you dump it on the coach,
it's a gas. Get it?
333
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,424
- I get that.
-Great!
334
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:02,961
Hey, but that's not right.
335
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:07,192
And if you want to remember
the chemical formula for propane C3H8...
336
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,159
maybe you could remember it
like an audible.
337
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:14,297
C! Three! H! Eight! Propane!
338
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:15,874
Propane! Hike!
339
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,782
You guys need a ride?
340
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,977
I'm gonna be smoking on that field!
341
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:30,880
But not near a propane tank
because propane is flammable.
342
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:37,395
ANNOUNCER: And here he is,
back after a short educational hiatus...
343
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:41,899
The Flying Hawaiian, David Kalaiki Alii!
344
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,199
Who's stupid now, huh? Not David.
345
00:21:46,338 --> 00:21:49,740
Yup. Not David, Hank. Not David at all.
346
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,382
PEGGY: / don't know
what you're waiting for.
347
00:22:31,432 --> 00:22:35,982
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