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1
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PEGGY: Okay, I just voted.
2
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,267
Could you see anything?
3
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,804
Nope. Nothing.
4
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,201
You could develop film in that booth.
5
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,802
That's right.
Peggy Hill's garage of democracy...
6
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,209
is gonna make those saps
in Precinct 9 wish...
7
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,941
they'd never voted
in that stinking firehouse.
8
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,040
Hey, Dad. Can you give me and Luanne...
9
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:54,086
a ride to where Route 15 meets the 42?
10
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,054
Why? There's nothing there
but a huge empty lot.
11
00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,650
Nuh-uh, Uncle Hank.
This week it's 20 acres of fun...
12
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,695
and one acre of craft.
13
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,493
At the Heimlich County Fair.
14
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,924
Well, Luanne,
I wish you'd get this excited...
15
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,868
about voting
in your first presidential election.
16
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:14,134
Now, did you send in
those registration forms I gave you...
17
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,640
for your eighteenth birthday?
18
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,335
No. But that's okay.
19
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:20,106
I'll just vote for president next year.
20
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:21,681
[Sigh]
21
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,383
Come on, Mom.
22
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,315
I am not leaving
until this booth has proven to me...
23
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,946
that it is 100% confidential.
24
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,525
Okay. How many fingers am I holding up?
25
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,323
Peggy. there is absolutely
no way you can see through that--
26
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,555
Three?
27
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,623
I was just guessing.
28
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,508
Mom, can I have five tickets for fair food?
29
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,307
I don't want them guessing
my weight on an empty stomach.
30
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,951
I'm hungry, too.
31
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,853
Luanne, you should be hungry
for democracy.
32
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,755
Um, no.
33
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,294
Yeah, I think I wanted the corn on a stick.
34
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:11,558
Luanne, in a few years that corn'll be gone.
35
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,430
But the thrill of voting lasts and lasts.
36
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,060
I still get goose pimples
thinking about pulling the lever...
37
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,037
for Councilman Fred Everett.
38
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,173
Of course, then he betrayed me.
39
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,243
Now, go on and register.
40
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:28,105
The polls and the media
have been ignoring my campaign.
41
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:31,276
But they're gonna have a little surprise
come election day...
42
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,184
when long-shot candidate
Ted T. Ganaway...
43
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:37,484
moves out of his parents' house
and into the White House!
44
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,719
Hey, look. A fringe candidate.
45
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,657
Poor confused bastard.
46
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,992
Well, you have to admire his dedication.
47
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:48,625
I mean, he's right here in the heart
of what I like to call "Bush Country."
48
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:53,564
Hello, friends.
49
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,367
You made eye contact.
50
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,773
Nice job, Hank. You talk to him.
51
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,940
My name is Ted T. Ganaway
and I'm running for president.
52
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,481
Yeah. Well...
53
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,620
my wife and I are pretty committed
to George W. Bush, you know.
54
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,380
And even if we weren't, well...
55
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,152
there's four or five candidates
ahead of you.
56
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,558
Well, good luck with the campaign.
57
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,359
Governor George W. Bush
and Vice President Al Gore...
58
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,866
want you to focus
on my hit-and-run conviction...
59
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,698
and not my sixteen-point plan for America.
60
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,968
Dad, I know it's not up your alley,
but there's this pig named Mitch--
61
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,304
Let's go.
62
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,008
Welcome, folks.
63
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,740
Y'all ready
for some world-class pig-diving?
64
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:40,345
Now, before we meet our star,
let's give a county-fair howdy...
65
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,320
to Mitch's Fishes.
66
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:55,028
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you the main event...
67
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,332
the real deal,
the finest diver with four legs...
68
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:02,807
the Pork Louganis,
Mitch the Amazing Diving Pig.
69
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,910
For his first dive,
Mitch will perform the tula-hula...
70
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,709
a death-defying plunge through not one,
not three...
71
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,345
but two hula hoops.
72
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,084
Yes!
73
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,792
That was pretty good for a pig.
74
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,961
And now for our finale.
75
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,730
Mitch will dive
through three rings of burning fire.
76
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,870
It is the most difficult dive
known to man or pig:
77
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,999
The Johnny Cash!
78
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,945
You can do it, Mitch.
79
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,355
I love this pig!
80
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,298
Nothing to worry about, folks.
81
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,993
Mitch is just hamming it up.
82
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,363
Where is he?
83
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,236
Where is he?
84
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,874
Somebody do something!
85
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,004
Oh, God! Mitch!
86
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,774
Bobby, no! That's pig water!
87
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,413
Mitch is dead!
88
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,280
Not this pig, not today.
89
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,288
Thank you, son. You saved my boy's life.
90
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,619
-What's your name?
-Bobby Hill.
91
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,721
Let's give a big hand to Bobby Hill...
92
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,164
the amazing pig-saving boy!
93
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,107
Oh, God!
94
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,082
How much money
is it gonna take to get that film?
95
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,449
Don't worry. I'm not with the press.
96
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,455
I'm with the Bush-Cheney campaign.
And you must be...
97
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,117
the amazing pig-saving boy's father.
98
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,795
-Well. I don't--
-This is just the kind of heroism...
99
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,559
the Governor loves to attach himself to.
100
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,600
Why don't you all come
to his Get Out The Vote rally next week...
101
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,330
-as our guests?
-Great.
102
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,702
Now, if you do a background check...
103
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,505
I'm Hank R. Hill, not that Hank P. Hill...
104
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,602
who doesn't pay his Discover Card bill.
105
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,412
Uncle Hank, I registered to vote.
106
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:07,083
Oh, terrific. George W.'s gonna need
every vote he can get...
107
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,218
or they won't call it a landslide.
108
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:13,197
George W.? He's not a communist, is he?
109
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,629
No, he's not.
110
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,131
Wait. Here it is.
111
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,330
See, our candidate is Robert Parigi.
112
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,671
What? Communist? No!
113
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,844
I guess I cancel your vote out.
114
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,115
My first election
and your vote means nothing.
115
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,549
Long live the People's Revolution!
116
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,826
HANK: What were you thinking?
117
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:47,059
The Russians don't even believe
in communism anymore.
118
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,261
You said you wanted me to vote.
119
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,495
You sure did, Hank.
120
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,595
Maybe Luanne has a good reason
for throwing her vote away.
121
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,141
I've got several.
122
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:58,176
First, the line at his booth
was the shortest.
123
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,838
I like his tie. It's red.
124
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,443
And his shirt is white.
And his jacket is blue.
125
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:08,278
And that stands for America. Communism!
126
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,792
So I see you finally got
Luanne involved in politics.
127
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,118
That's good...
128
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,285
ass.
129
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,296
The people united...
130
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:23,230
-Boo!
-Commie, go home!
131
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,062
Okay.
132
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,665
I just think
if you don't read the newspaper...
133
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,438
and the only TV you watch is the MTV...
134
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,309
you shouldn't be allowed to vote.
135
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,280
Stop fighting the last war, Hank.
136
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,250
Women got the vote
and there's nothing we can do about it.
137
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,616
Unless...
138
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:43,781
Unless what?
139
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,791
I don't know. You're a smart guy.
You'll figure something out.
140
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:47,860
[Doorbell ringing]
141
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,326
I'll get it.
142
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,488
LUANNE: [In English accent]
Good evening, mate.
143
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,292
May I trouble you for a word?
144
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,496
HANK: Oh, Lord.
PEGGY: Who is it, Hank?
145
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,001
The Manger Babies. I'll get rid of them.
146
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,370
Cheerio. I just wanted to tell you...
147
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,241
you should vote for Robert Parigi
of the Communist Party USA...
148
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,905
for President, what-what.
149
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,312
You don't know
the first thing about communism.
150
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:11,816
What's to know?
151
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:16,014
Robert Parigi's got the cutest little ears
and prettiest eyebrows.
152
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,988
So, can I tell Robert
he can count on your vote?
153
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,426
No, you cannot. I hate communists.
154
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,825
All they do is boss people around.
155
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,899
Sounds like you, Uncle Hank.
156
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,832
Luanne, please go home before I tell you...
157
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,530
you're acting like an idiot
and make you cry.
158
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,100
Hee-haw! You're a communist! Hee-haw!
159
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,802
-No, I'm not!
-Welcome to the party, mate.
160
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,039
Get that penguin back here. I'm not done.
161
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,877
Hee-haw! Power to the people, comrade!
162
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:46,748
Why, I say! You look good in red,
Comrade Hill, what-what.
163
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,345
All right. I gave you fair warning.
164
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,982
Luanne, you're acting like an idiot.
165
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,554
Oh, no!
166
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,319
Uncle Hank, no.
167
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,966
Hank, I'm making cookies
to serve on election day.
168
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:09,042
Which do you think tastes better?
The Chips Ahoy heated up...
169
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,769
or the E.L. Fudge heated up?
170
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:11,935
I don't know.
171
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,570
Well, where is Luanne?
172
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,913
Well, I told her she was being an idiot
and she ran off crying.
173
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,712
Oh, Hank. Again?
174
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,948
Well, she called me a communist
in my own home.
175
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,684
She doesn't know what the heck
she's talking about.
176
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,625
All right, Hank. Luanne is Cinderella.
177
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,229
And she fell for the wrong prince.
178
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,800
You have to be her fairy godmother...
179
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,130
and introduce her to George W. Bush.
180
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,866
Take her to the Bush rally,
or as I like to call it, "the ball"...
181
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,067
and let George W. put his issues...
182
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:45,634
or as I like to call them,
"the glass slippers,� on her feet.
183
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,840
I can't bring a communist to see
the next president of the United States.
184
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,281
Hank, if Luanne is still a communist...
185
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:55,446
after hearing
the greatest orator of our day...
186
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:59,651
then she really is a communist
and then we really have a problem.
187
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,624
Hey, y'all. How're y'all doing?
188
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,794
He's even more handsome than his dad.
189
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,403
Well, Barbara's a handsome woman.
190
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:16,198
But, you know, it's his ideas
that you'll find the most attractive.
191
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,574
I don't know. He's really handsome.
192
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,107
Now, I don't want any of y'all to think...
193
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,115
Dick Cheney and I
have this thing in the bag.
194
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,743
So, don't forget to vote on November 7.
195
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,813
I really like his smile.
196
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,688
And his tie. Which is red.
197
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,527
I like red ties.
198
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,762
Luanne, stop looking at him.
199
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,265
Close your eyes and listen to the issues.
200
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:44,803
Wait till you hear him call for lower taxes
and a stronger national defense.
201
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,236
I just gave away the end of his speech.
202
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,532
...and a strong national defense.
203
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:54,038
God bless you and God bless
the United States of America.
204
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,222
You know, you were right, Uncle Hank.
205
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,813
He's gonna cut my taxes...
206
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,359
and let me pray in junior college.
207
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,519
I think I will vote for him.
208
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,063
There you go.
209
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,559
Pig boy.
210
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,367
Pig heart-transplant boy
or pig-saving boy?
211
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,766
-I can't remember.
-I'll wing it.
212
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:26,343
Hey, there's Heimlich County's
newest hero.
213
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:31,111
I was just in the right place
at the right time, like any hero.
214
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,388
-Yeah. And I'm the boy's dad.
-And I need your vote, partner.
215
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,957
Well, you've got it, Governor Bush.
216
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,895
[Quizzical instrumental music]
217
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,933
-What's wrong, Hank?
-Oh, my God!
218
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,428
His handshake...
219
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,102
it's limp.
220
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:02,973
Did Bush's hand feel like a flounder?
Or something softer, like a jellyfish?
221
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,180
I don't want to talk about it.
222
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,616
Was it mushy and wet
like a handful of egg salad?
223
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,156
It was soft and damp.
Let's just leave it at that.
224
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,855
Was it a wriggler?
225
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,865
Stop it. All of you, stop it.
Stop it right now!
226
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,928
This is dead serious.
I don't know what to do.
227
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,437
I thought I knew the man.
228
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,565
But the man I knew
had a strong, firm grip.
229
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,268
I thought you only cared
about the issues, Hank.
230
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,846
Well, yeah.
231
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,514
But a man's handshake is an issue.
232
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,717
It's... Well, it's the character issue.
233
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,982
No. Character is about having principles...
234
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:47,253
and not sleeping with the help and such.
But a wimpy handshake...
235
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,853
-now, that's just trivial, Hank.
-It's not trivial.
236
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,830
This man could be the next leader
of the free world.
237
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:57,369
We're gonna have nut-job third-world
dictators walking all over us...
238
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,801
when they find out our president...
239
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,966
doesn't have a strong enough finger
to push the button.
240
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,974
That makes a lot of sense...
241
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:06,705
a lot of nonsense.
242
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,617
Why don't we choose the president
by lottery like they choose the pope?
243
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,020
Don't be ridiculous.
That's how Luanne would pick a president.
244
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,182
No dumber than a handshake.
245
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,790
Yup. You and Luanne, two peas in a pod.
246
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,520
All voters are the same:
247
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,089
simpleminded fools
who think their vote makes a difference.
248
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:32,729
The system's broke, Hank. The
election baby has peed in the bathwater.
249
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,933
You gotta throw them both out.
250
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,568
It was a horrible, horrible,
horrible handshake.
251
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,844
But, I don't know.
252
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,939
Come on, Hank.
Spend tomorrow not voting with me.
253
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,576
Every election day
I go Christmas shopping.
254
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:50,020
All the suckers are at the polls.
The outlet malls are empty.
255
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,724
The parking lots are full,
which I never understood.
256
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:57,262
I got a theory,
but it involves the largest mirror in Texas.
257
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,161
No, no. I've got to vote.
258
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,394
-So, you're voting for the other fellow?
-I don't know.
259
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:06,871
All I know is if I don't vote,
I won't get called for jury duty anymore.
260
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,703
Hank, honey, if you have to go into
the garage, please walk on the stripes.
261
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:18,444
-The stars will not be dry until morning.
-Look, look. Right there.
262
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:22,249
See that guy's reaction
when Bush shakes his hand? Surprise...
263
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,257
then disappointment.
264
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,917
Sure. But when I want to watch
Scent of a Woman...
265
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,051
you don't even know
how to work the VCR.
266
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,427
See, the guy's smiling, happy,
on top of the world.
267
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,131
Then Bush shakes,
there goes the man's face.
268
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,431
See? Surprise, then disappointment.
See that?
269
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,974
Surprise, then disappointment.
270
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,976
Surprise, then disappointment.
271
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,714
Surprise, then disappointment.
272
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:52,508
Hank, honey, thanks for making
your side of the bed this morning.
273
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,380
It saved me lots of time. Hank?
274
00:15:57,423 --> 00:16:00,017
You know, with voter turnout
at all-time lows...
275
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,322
not voting makes me more American.
276
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,829
The only thing more American
than not voting...
277
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:09,061
is Egyptian cotton/linen irregulars
at 40% off.
278
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,569
DALE: First stop, Wamsutta sheets.
279
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,309
Mrs. Fedder, what time do you have?
280
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,940
-A little before 7:00.
- I have 7:00.
281
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,604
It's still a little before 7:00.
282
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,885
On three, two, one, now.
283
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:30,856
Now!
284
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,722
Hi, Peggy.
285
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,191
First to vote, last to leave.
286
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:46,599
And the pockets are big enough
for an umbrella.
287
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,870
Joseph will love it.
288
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,538
I look like a jackass.
289
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,819
Look at that.
290
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,988
Well, I'm ready to vote.
Where's Uncle Hank?
291
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,688
I wanted us to vote at the same time.
292
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,288
He and Dale went down
to that outlet mall.
293
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,364
You know, the one next door to Mexico.
294
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,060
Well, he'll be back before the polls close,
won't he?
295
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,393
Oh, no, no, no.
296
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,398
But that's okay. Hank says he's not voting.
297
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:29,111
Smell this, Hank.
Does it smell like Boomhauer?
298
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:33,046
Yeah, it smells like Boomhauer.
He's gonna love it.
299
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,551
[Pager beeping]
300
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,019
This could be a propane emergency.
301
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,285
No. Just Luanne...
302
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,416
or one of her Manger Babies.
303
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,824
So, where to, Dale?
304
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:46,194
Well, Nancy's been wanting
an onyx chessboard...
305
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,994
and I know just the place.
306
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,296
I think Uncle Hank is dead!
He didn't return my page.
307
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,396
Well, I am sure he's not dead, Luanne.
308
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,272
That number is for
propane emergencies only.
309
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,443
Dale, this bridge goes into Mexico.
310
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:07,679
Did I make a wrong turn?
All right. Let me try to spin around.
311
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,848
Nope. Not yet.
312
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,150
Now? Nope.
313
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,418
Oh, well, we're in Mexico.
What are you gonna do?
314
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,429
Dang it, Dale. Turn around up here.
315
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,796
No. There is to be no deviation
from the plan.
316
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,429
-What plan?
-Oh, I'm sorry.
317
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,131
We're gonna spend
the rest of the day in Mexico...
318
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,968
see how the election turns out.
319
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:32,477
If there's any problem,
civil unrest, military coup...
320
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,975
we will remain in Mexico
under assumed identities.
321
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,483
You are Fritz Krueger:
wealthy Ecuadorian rancher.
322
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:44,247
And I am Central American
singing sensation Lamotil.
323
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:48,653
You know I'm not Ecuadorian.
So why would I need Ecuadorian papers?
324
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,522
You're already not voting.
325
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,065
You might as well give up
your citizenship.
326
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,793
Believe me, Hank,
if things go sour up north...
327
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,098
you'll be happy you're
a non-naturalized resident alien in Mexico.
328
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,172
[Pager beeping]
329
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:04,805
It's Rudy at Goobersmooches.
Now, believe me, this is serious.
330
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,902
He doesn't just call to chat.
We have nothing in common.
331
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,553
-Goobersmooches.
-Rudy?
332
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,955
No, it's Luanne Platter.
333
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,794
And it's not a propane emergency.
334
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,498
It's a "Why aren't you voting emergency?"
335
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,157
Why aren't you voting?
336
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,763
Because my candidate's handshake
had no character.
337
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,799
But Hank's character is to vote anyways...
338
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,841
even if it's rainy, or your face is splotchy...
339
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,344
or your uncle made you cry,
or your candidate's a dud.
340
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,811
It doesn't take any character to give up.
341
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,077
What do you know?
You've never even voted.
342
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,417
Well, maybe I won't vote after all,
since apparently it's not that important.
343
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,554
I think I'll go shopping,
just like you did, Uncle Hank.
344
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:56,617
Because I don't need to vote, but I
can always use a good pair of pants.
345
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,763
Luanne, I want you to meet me
at our polling place.
346
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,835
And I'll give you the pants
I just bought you for Christmas.
347
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,706
Dale, can I see your keys for a second?
348
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:12,403
-Why?
-It was supposed to be a surprise.
349
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:16,846
But I bought you
a leather key chain at the Coach outlet...
350
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,179
and I wanted to make sure it fits.
351
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:23,483
When did you do that?
When I was trying on underwear?
352
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:28,517
Wait a minute.
You know I don't like key chains.
353
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:32,723
-What did you get me? A money clip?
-Keep guessing.
354
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,699
DALE: Kenneth Cole shoes?
355
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,425
A new spaghetti pot?
356
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,296
A leather backpack?
357
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,201
Something with leather?
358
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,470
Come on.
359
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,709
Sir, do you know
how fast you were going?
360
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:55,481
Yeah. Eighty-six miles per hour.
Now, would you mind writing this up fast?
361
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,558
I've got to get home
before the polls close. I've got to vote.
362
00:20:58,657 --> 00:20:59,988
You haven't voted?
363
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,856
DALE: A Namby ice bucket?
364
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,529
Cap snaffler? Total Gym?
365
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,268
You made it!
366
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:15,303
-How much time do we have?
-One minute.
367
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:18,342
-I have two minutes.
-One minute.
368
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,127
-So, who'd you vote for, Hank?
-No.
369
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:44,562
If he tells you, it won't come true.
370
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,147
[Patriotic instrumental music]
371
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,979
Hello. I'm Hank Hill
from TV's King of the Hill.
372
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:02,418
And I'm Bobby Hill
from TV's King of the Hill.
373
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,920
Welcome to what used to be my garage.
374
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:08,153
That's where I usually park my bike.
375
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:11,230
We're here to remind you
to register to vote.
376
00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:14,196
So go ahead,
fill out your registration card...
377
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,634
and you'll be eligible to win
these valuable prizes.
378
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,331
Freedom...
379
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:20,801
civic pride...
380
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,931
and a brand-new president.
381
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,937
DALE: Was it a wriggler?
382
00:22:25,987 --> 00:22:30,537
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