All language subtitles for King of the Hill s04e22 Flush with Power.eng

[THEME SONG]

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[ALL SIGHING DEJECTEDLY]

Dale, your wife's a weather personality.

Does she have any idea
when this drought's gonna end?

No relief in sight.

And that's straight from the AP news wire
to Nancy to me to you.

Stage One water rationing wasn't too bad.
I just cut out Peggy's Crystal Light.

When we hit Stage Two,
I took away Bobby's baths.

But Stage Three is killing my lawn,
and that affects everyone.

[BEER SLOSHING]

Bobby! Have you lost your mind?

I've got a girlfriend now.
She expects me to smell a certain way.

Then suck it up and take a shower.

I don't like to stand that long.

[MELANCHOLIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hey...

HANK:
JJ, how'd we do?

JJ: You're just at
your weekly allotment.

Dang it!
I scrimped and saved all week.

Why don't you get
a couple of those new low-flow toilets?

They use about half as much water,

and the water company is
giving them out for free.

I don't know. My toilets have given me
15 years of dependable service.

I'm not one of those guys who turns 40

and runs out and
buys fancy new toilets.

Check it out, Hank Hill.
Who got the green thumb now, hayseed?

What? How, in Stage Three, could you--

- I use secret Asian watering technique.
- Come on. That's crazy.

Don't let my genius in mathematics
blind you to my mystical side.

I could spit in a thimble
and water Central Park.

[KAHN GUFFAWING]

[MELANCHOLIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Goodbye, toilets. Thanks for everything.

New low-flow toilets.
Boy, this is exciting.

But I guess you guys
are probably used to it by now.

Yeah, I'm used to it.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[HANK HUMMING]

[TOILET STOPS FLUSHING]

What the...

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[FLUSHING STOPS]

Dang it.

[FLUSHING STOPS]

Still?

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[PEOPLE CHEERING ON TV]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[CLEARING THROAT]

Heck of a game.

[STUTTERING HESITANTLY]

So, Peggy, I'm just curious.
How many flushes was that?

A lady does not discuss such matters.

It was six.

I'm averaging four myself,
but I'm just a kid.

[SIGHS]

This is crazy.
If you have to flush twice,

you're already using as much water
as our old toilets.

But we're flushing three,
four, six times.

We're not saving any water.

If anything, we are wasting water.

I'm gonna call the water company,
see about getting the high-flows back.

I already called.

They take the old toilets,
they smash them up,

then dump them in the Gulf of Mexico
to make an artificial coral reef.

- BOBBY: Mom, you needed seven.
- HANK: That's it.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

BOBBY: Thanks for the help
with the algebra homework.

Now, if you ever need help
with your homework,

Sanjay owes me a favor.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[BOBBY GRUNTING]

[BOBBY YELLS]

KAHN: So, was I 20 gallons over my limit,
or was it a cool 40?

Look, I already told you, it's $100.
It's a bribe, not a tip.

Okay. Best $100 I ever spent.

KAHN: So, this dirty money
going for more steroids or hair plugs?

[GUFFAWING]

Just kidding.
You all right, Jack LaLanne.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[VAN ENGINE RUNNING]

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[KAHN EXCLAIMS]

- Hey, what you doing?
- I'm here to take a bath.

Are you crazy? Get out!
Legally I can shoot you now.

With what? A water pistol?

You seem to have plenty of the
wet stuff these days, don't you, sir?

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]

I don't know what you're talking about.

I use secret Asian
watering technique.

Best $100 you ever spent.

[EXCLAIMS IN DISBELIEF]

- What you want?
- Baths and lots of them.

And I'm tired of climbing
in and out of Connie's window.

From now on,
I'll be using the front door.

Excuse me.
Where do you keep your good toilets?

Sorry. We don't stock the good toilets
anymore. Just the low-flows.

And even if I did
have the high-flows,

it would be illegal
to install them in Heimlich County.

Which idiot made it illegal

to install a working toilet
in your own bathroom?

The Board of Zoning and Resources,
Ordinance 621-A.

The Board of Zoning and Resources
did this?

I love their setback requirements.

NATE: The motion to postpone Item 25
until next week carries.

Any other business?

Hank Hill here.
Assistant manager, Strickland Propane.

May I first say what an honor it is
to be addressing this distinguished board.

Now, I recently installed

low-flow fixtures in my home.

Mr. Hill, in order
to even discuss this issue,

it would have to be on the agenda.

Okay. Then let's put it on the agenda.

Sir, only a member
of the Board of Zoning and Resources

can place items on the agenda.

But my toilets--

Mr. Hill, your time is up.
We appreciate your comments.

Mr. Chairman, I'd like to remind
the members of the board

that it is Earl's birthday.

I move we wish Earl happy birthday.

ED:
I second the motion.

- NATE: All in favor?
- BOARD MEMBERS: Aye.

The motion carries.
Happy birthday, Earl.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

HANK: Then before I knew it
my time was up.

I never even got to mention
the sorry state of my lawn.

Did you move to extend time for
consideration of the pending question?

What? How'd you do that?

Hank, I am a veteran of PTA meetings,
both as a "P" and a "T."

And I have read
the bible of parliamentary procedure

known as Robert's Rules of Order.

BOBBY: Sounds like someone
should run for mayor.

I mean, you are
the smartest man in town, Dad.

[HANK CHUCKLES]

Well...

You know, there's nothing saying

I couldn't run for a spot
on the Board of Zoning and Resources.

Well, you can count on my vote,
assuming I agree with your platform.

HANK: I, Hank Hill,
do hereby submit this application

to be on the ballot for election
to the Board of Zoning and Resources.

I will build my platform
on thick, healthy lawns,

made possible by efficient toilets
that don't waste water.

Okay, you're in.

You hear that, Bobby?
Your old man's on the ballot.

There is no ballot.

There's been an empty seat on the board
for the past four years.

Congratulations.
You're a board member.

We won!

No, Bobby. Arlen won.

[SOLEMN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

It's gone from "Evergreen"
to "Amber Mist."

Ashes to ashes.

We'd have so much more water
for our lawns

if we didn't have that stupid toilet law.

I'm gonna use
all the power of my position

to get our old toilets back.

They say power
is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Hank, can you introduce me
to Madeleine Albright?

People, there are limits to
our newly empowered friend's power.

He deals in simple
county-level matters,

like the permit I need
to build my new fence.

Now, Dale, first you need
to write up your proposal.

Then you need
to present it to the board for a vote.

And then democracy happens.

I get a new fence!

[SINGING]
? Give me fence, lots of fence ?

? Please fence me in, yeah! ?

? Give me fence, lots of fence ?

DALE [SINGING]:
? Please fence me in ?

NATE:
Motion to approve Item 39,

the resolution to include
in the City Fee Ordinance,

the smart-growth incentives.

- BOARD MEMBER: Second.
- NATE: All in favor?

- ED: Aye.
- BOARD MEMBERS: Aye.

HANK:
Aye!

Motion passes.
Next order of business:

Mr. Dale Gribble's request
for a zoning variance.

In the interest of impartiality,
I would like to put on the record

that Dale Gribble is a close friend
and neighbor.

And I will add that I know him to be
a good father

- and a responsible citizen of Arlen.
- Well put.

Mr. Chairman, board members,
basically what I am envisioning

is a 12-foot, 10,000-volt, electrified
protective fence with guard tower.

Thank you.

- Dale, that is the single, dumbest--
- All in favor?

You're making me look like a jackass.

[SIGHING] All in favor
of Mr. Gribble's variance?

- HANK: Nay.
- BOARD MEMBERS: Nay.

Request denied.

You're dead to me.

Final order of business, Item 41, has also
been put on the agenda by Mr. Hill.

- Chairman yields the floor.
- Thank you, Chairman Hashaway.

[HANK CLEARS THROAT]

1.6 gallons per flush
per low-flow toilet.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

But, unfortunately, in the real world,

where things don't flush
like they do in the movies,

it can take three, four,

or in the case of my wife, Peggy Hill,
six flushes

to completely remove solid waste.

The fact is, these toilets
are squandering more water

than they are saving. Thank you.

Mr. Hill, I want to assure you
that the board fully considered

all viewpoints,
before approving Ordinance 621-A.

See you all Wednesday.
Oh, what am I saying?

- I'll see you Sunday at Earl's party.
- There's a party?

[MELANCHOLIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hey, I know you.
Chair recognizes Hank Hill.

[NATE CHUCKLES]

Seriously, Hank,
I want you to see something.

Because of the worsening drought,

we thought we'd swap these high-flows
for a couple of water-savers.

So, why don't you take the old toilets,
be happy,

and we'll move on to the important
business of zoning and resources?

Well, that's mighty nice of you, Nate,
but that would be breaking the law.

So, until I get that law revoked,
I'm gonna have to say:

"Not yet."

You're a real boy scout,
aren't you, Hank?

Made it to Eagle. Good night.

[SIGHS PENSIVELY]

NATE:
Mr. Gribble.

[SCREAMS IN FEAR]

Don't sneak up... I almost...

I'm sorry.
I hear you're Hank Hill's neighbor.

I just want to talk to you
about a little piece of business.

Go on.

NATE: Mr. Gribble,
we're both adults here...

HANK:
Oh, no.

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

What are you doing?

I was listening to your mother
tell me about her day,

and then it hit me.

Freezer shavings.
They're made of water.

[BLOWS]

Look at all the frost
inside this box of Fletcher's Corny Dogs.

HANK:
Thank you, Jesus.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[ALARM BEEPING]

[GROANING]

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[TAP SQUEAKS]

[GRUNTING]

Hey, McNugget!
What the hell you doing?

Shh! My dad will hear us.

You're breaking our agreement.
My bribe not big enough

to cover your bath, my Slip 'N Slide,
and your father's lawn.

Something gotta give,
and it not gonna be my Slip 'N Slide.

And it's not gonna be my dad's lawn.

Forget the baths.

Done. And you can forget
your front-door privileges.

- All right.
- All right.

[SPEAKS LAOTIAN]

HANK: Come on, Bobby.
You slept through the bus.

Sweet Saint Augustine!

[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[BOBBY GASPS]

- It worked that fast?
- Yeah. How about that?

I was hoping
those freezer shavings would work,

but between you and me,
I had my doubts.

[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[CAR DOOR SHUTS]

[NATE EXCLAIMS APPRECIATIVELY]

That's a handsome lawn.

Well, your Raleigh Saint Augustine
is a real deep-rooted sod.

And it takes a pretty picture, too.

NATE: These were taken over the last
several nights by a private investigator.

If I'm not mistaken, that's your boy

violating the water-rationing laws
with your neighbor's hose.

Bobby?

Don't worry. I'll keep your secret,
unless, of course,

you want to keep
pushing that toilet issue.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I idolized you!

HANK:
Bobby, you stole water.

You violated both the letter and
the spirit of the water-rationing rules.

Dad, I didn't steal the water.
Mr. Souphanousinphone let me have it.

Don't lie to me, son.
Kahn hates my lawn.

No, it's true.
I mean, I had to blackmail him.

Blackmail?

[SIGHS DEJECTEDLY]

Mr. Souphanousinphone started it.

I caught him bribing
the meter reader guy.

Oh, God! JJ, too?

But, Dad, I saved your lawn.

I don't have a lawn,
I have a crime scene.

And that grass
is getting the death penalty.

No more water.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

BOBBY: Dad, guess what!
I just took a 30-second shower.

And I'm gonna dry
myself off on the lawn.

[GRUNTING]

The lawn's dead, Bobby.
You're just making mud.

[MELANCHOLIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

DALE:
Here, kitty.

DALE:
Here, kitty.

Dale, you can't build that fence.
You need a variance.

Variance-schmariance,
pudding and pie.

Signed by Nate Hashaway?
Where'd you get that?

Stop interrogating me.
I'll never crack.

- What are you talking about?
- All right! I did it!

I took the photos of the illegal
lawn hydration for Hashaway.

What? You sold me out
for a stupid fence?

You bet I did. I'm so ashamed.

Here. Tear it up if that empty gesture
will make you feel better.

[PAPER RIPS]

[EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK]

DALE:
Hank, you're alive to me.

Call me.

[BOBBY PANTING]

[BOBBY GRUNTS]

[VIOLIN PLAYING]

Connie?

[BOBBY GASPS FEARFULLY]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hashaway.

Dad, I found out
something about Hashaway

that you could use against him.

Bobby, you keep your dirt.

I've got enough where
my lawn used to be.

Dad, listen. I was climbing
through Connie's window, and then I--

The window? Your mother said
Kahn was letting you use the front door.

He was. But I gave that
up to water your lawn.

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[GAVEL BANGS]

NATE:
This meeting is called to order.

Sorry I took so long.

I went to powder my nose.
It took eight flushes.

This has got to stop.

NATE:
First item of business.

Well, it's our old friend's proposal
to repeal Ordinance 621-A.

I believe Mr. Hill
now wants to rescind his proposal.

No, sir, I do not.

You see, the envelope
in front of Mr. Hashaway there

contains photographs of my son
watering my lawn with stolen water.

I accept full responsibility,

and after tonight's meeting,
I will resign my position.

But why is Nate Hashaway fighting
so hard to keep low-flow toilets?

Because his company,
Hashaway Fixtures,

is the exclusive supplier
of low-flow toilets to the water company.

HANK: That's right.
He makes money off 621-A.

And that's why I move
that we vote to overturn it.

I second the motion.

All right. Call for a vote.

- VIOLET: Nay.
- BOARD MEMBERS: Nay.

What? But these toilets he's selling,
they don't work.

Well, I don't own one personally.
Never even used one.

But I've known Nate for 18 years.

And if he says these low-flows
are good for Arlen,

I'm inclined to believe him.

It's 5-to-0 against you, Mr. Hill.
How do you vote?

[SIGHS SADLY]

- HANK: I vote--
- PEGGY: Hank, wait.

Okay. Until you say "aye" or "nay,"

this vote is not final.

And any member who leaves
before it's final, forfeits their vote.

It's all right here
in Robert's Rules of Order.

So they can't leave. So what?

So, eventually,
they will have to go to the bathroom.

The low-flows.

I have two years' worth
of my musings columns in my purse.

Start reading. Do not let up.

- Mr. Hill, do you have the floor?
- Yes, I do. But before I vote,

I think it's important
to read these things to you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

"You know it's autumn
when the leaves are leaving

and the pine needles
are sticking around."

[PEGGY CHUCKLING]

Sorry. Go on.

Oh, God dang it! It's a filibuster.

[ALL MURMURING IN EXASPERATION]

"I'm tired of reading negative stories
about today's youth.

You might say
I'm on an all-pro-teen diet."

[STUTTERING]

I'm not leaving.
I'm just going to the john.

Be my guest.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

"The people who say you can't
make an omelet without cracking eggs

are always pretty hard-boiled."

[EXCLAIMS BEMUSEDLY]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Mr. Hill.

[FLUSHING STOPS]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

"They say time flies.

But with the way
the airlines are going these days,

maybe time should take the bus."

[TOILET FLUSHES]

That's right. The bus.

"They say an apple a day
keeps the doctor away,

but if you don't go to the doctor
for regular check-ups, you're bananas."

"Both people and rivers make deposits..."

- This is just sadistic.
- I wouldn't go in the john.

I'll use the ladies'.

Too late. Somebody already broke it.

[BOARD MEMBER SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

Nate, those low-flow toilets are junk.
I'm voting with Hank.

Me, too. I'm not sure
I can even make it home.

You're a bunch of babies.

- I'm changing my vote.
- Same here.

Fine. Have it your way,
you do-gooding phonies.

I hope you all rot in hell.

See you next Tuesday.

It looks like Nate forfeits his vote.
I vote yes.

The repeal of Ordinance 621-A passes,
and I quit.

[ALL SIGHING IN RELIEF]

Way to go, Dad! You did it!

From now on
no one will flush a toilet in this town

without thanking Hank Hill.

Yeah. Well, it was still worth it.

[MELLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[THEME SONG]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

HANK:
Still?

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