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1
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,636
[Theme song]
2
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,099
[Car honking]
3
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,229
That's my ride.
Uncle Hank, can I borrow $22.50?
4
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,808
I need $8 for the movie
and $2.50 for popcorn...
5
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:46,176
and $10 for dinner,
and I want to play the claw machine.
6
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,884
I would give up the popcorn
to play the claw machine.
7
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,508
You know, Luanne...
8
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:55,782
it would be a lot less irritating to give you
a round number every now and then...
9
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,052
than hearing about every little thing
you wanted to buy.
10
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,628
Can I have $300?
11
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,860
Look, here's $60.
12
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:07,764
Now, I lived for a month on $60 thanks to--
13
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,030
LUANNE: Hey, guys, I got $60!
14
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,298
[Luanne giggling]
15
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:15,774
By letting Luanne live like this
we send out the message that it's okay.
16
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,839
Maybe that's what's wrong with Bobby.
17
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:22,109
MAN ON TV: Now, / can bite an apple
with confidence.
18
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,210
My Betsy left her job
at the La Grunta Hotel.
19
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,219
She could put in a good word for Luanne.
20
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,346
HANK: What's the job?
MAN: Golf course drink girl.
21
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:34,460
I went to the La Grunta once.
It cost $8 just to park there.
22
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,364
You can get 200 washers for that.
23
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:41,058
-Four hundred at the Mega Lo Mart.
-What's that supposed to mean?
24
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:44,468
Calm down, guys. This is why I shop here.
25
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,097
It may cost more, but it's worth it.
26
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,006
Eight cents.
27
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,343
I've got a family.
28
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,278
That's my helmet phone.
29
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,680
I'm sorry...
30
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:02,585
but I can't just starve to death,
as convenient as that would be for you.
31
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,817
And you won't give me any more money...
32
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,326
because I spent everything
you gave me last night.
33
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,553
[Stammering]
34
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,488
You know what? It doesn't matter...
35
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,965
because I found
an exciting opportunity for you.
36
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:18,231
How would you like to be
a golf course drink girl?
37
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,164
You'd have your own money.
38
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,309
My own money.
39
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,711
Nobody making me beg
for every little penny like a dog.
40
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,818
You'd show me, all right.
41
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,011
A golf course drink girl.
42
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,917
-Hey, why not me?
-Thatta girl.
43
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,020
I'll be my own boss.
44
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,928
No, you'll have a boss,
but the tips are all under the table.
45
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,261
[Luanne laughing]
46
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,629
[Hank laughing nervously]
47
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:48,860
Okay.
48
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,003
The golfers are cheap.
49
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,168
They think 'cause I'm a woman...
50
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,438
I'm supposed to be Miss Mary Sunshine.
51
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,507
Well, the hell with that.
52
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:05,350
-I had no idea you were a woman.
-Just take these drinks out to seven.
53
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,681
As long as you can do basic math,
you'll be fine.
54
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,991
Excuse me. Did you order these drinks?
55
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,628
Yeah, but maybe I've had enough.
56
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,289
You look a lot better
than you did 15 minutes ago.
57
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,369
I had them check my math
so I know it's right.
58
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,903
GOLFER #1: Here you go.
59
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,841
Okay, I can do this.
60
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:33,770
It's all yours, as long as you don't
let the sea hag bring our drinks anymore.
61
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,177
We could eat the buffet leftovers...
62
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,685
and we get to use the kids' pool
until 7:00 a.m.
63
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,980
How do I get a job like that?
64
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,023
Aunt Peggy, I don't know.
65
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:47,958
The other drink girl is a woman your age
and the golfers don't like her.
66
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,553
I could be a golf course drink girl.
67
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,590
Is there anything else
I can get you gentlemen?
68
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,662
Bobby, don't let your father
see you do that, honey.
69
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,031
I have to thank Uncle Hank.
70
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:03,132
What is the best possible present
I could possibly get him?
71
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,474
I always get him pants.
I got him socks one year.
72
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,809
Never again.
73
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,609
No, that's no good.
74
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,444
I have to get him something
he really loves.
75
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:15,385
Something that'll
just make him go, "Wow!"
76
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,054
[Luanne laughing loudly]
77
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,587
I've noticed that Uncle Hank
doesn't wear any jewelry...
78
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,892
so I'm going to get him some jewelry.
79
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,523
That's not what he needs.
80
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,830
I know a man who can
remove Hank's fingerprints for him.
81
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:33,998
But, believe me,
pay the extra and get the $50 job.
82
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,907
I tell you what, man, that boy needs, man.
A dang old electronic assistant, man.
83
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,241
I never don't miss me, man. Check it out.
84
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,747
BOOMHAUER: Wake up
about 5:00, going to go have a beer...
85
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,909
then go hanging out at the auto store...
86
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,920
and come back and take a nap, maybe.
Do something like that.
87
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,621
Man, that dang old Wednesday, man.
88
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:55,593
Hank and me, we used to go bowling,
and I'd tell people we were brothers...
89
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,960
and he was better than me
but he'd let me win sometimes...
90
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:03,559
and we'd stay out way too late and maybe
if you bought him another bowling ball...
91
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,934
it'd be like before Peggy came.
92
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,246
What man doesn't like
a nice soap or candle?
93
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,914
That bottle of Vicks is really expensive.
94
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,343
Why don't you get him a gift certificate?
95
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,749
There are lots of things at the hotel
he can use.
96
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:25,189
I bought my husband a round of golf,
and our love life has never been better.
97
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,024
LUANNE: Of course, that's it.
98
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:33,189
...and she said I should buy him
a round of golf, and then it was easy.
99
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,530
Luanne, Hank loves golf.
100
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:38,502
A round of golf
makes my presents look like nothing.
101
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,165
-No, Aunt Peg--
-Of course it does.
102
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,638
No, you don't understand.
103
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,207
LUANNE: Surprise!
104
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,803
What's this?
105
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,914
I know it's not my birthday.
I didn't get my pants from Peggy.
106
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,292
Oh, my God!
107
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:03,458
Look at your face. You thought
it was a big box but it's a small box.
108
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,325
But you know what they say
about small packages.
109
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,902
It's a round of golf!
110
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:12,802
No, Bobby. The round of golf
gave me the idea, but it's not.
111
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,601
A dolphin encounter?
112
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,905
That's right.
There's a dolphin in a pool at the hotel...
113
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:21,072
and you can swim with it and touch it,
and it communes with you.
114
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,377
And you can feed it dead fish.
115
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:26,348
Luanne, this sure was
a thoughtful present...
116
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,946
and it looks like
you spent a lot of money on it.
117
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,389
If I wanted to exchange it
for that round of golf...
118
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,824
I could do that, right?
119
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,693
But you wouldn't want to replace it.
120
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,490
Why, it costs more than a round of golf.
121
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,035
[Stammering]
122
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,565
[Crying]
123
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,206
Excuse me.
124
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,580
Somebody should go talk to Luanne.
125
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,377
[Peggy humming]
126
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,709
[Hank sighing]
127
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,117
Al right.
128
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,157
[Luanne sobbing]
129
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,227
Luanne, you know what?
130
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,126
I've never climbed into a pool
with a big fish.
131
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:15,292
I guess it just never occurred to me,
so maybe this dolphin confrontation...
132
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:19,100
would be something I'd be glad I had done
after it was over.
133
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,468
-It's an encounter.
-Even better.
134
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,312
PEGGY: Come on, Hank!
135
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,745
Looks like you're going golfing.
136
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,050
Yeah, looks like.
137
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:40,422
Didn't know dolphins knew
how to play golf.
138
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:41,494
[Laughing]
139
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,227
Shut up, Dale.
140
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:51,700
PEGGY: They have a store that sells
Red Skelton paintings.
141
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:55,639
I am there
although I do not like his clowns.
142
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,309
Look at that brunch!
143
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,149
Prime rib for breakfast. It's true.
144
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,078
I guess I owe Bill an apology.
145
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,550
Uncle Hank.
146
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:10,051
It's time
for your dolphin-encounter orientation.
147
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,151
HANK: Boy, look at that beef!
148
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:16,589
I never get brunch.
149
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,733
To think of all the years I've wasted
without capers.
150
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,969
They work with the salmon,
they work with the little pickles...
151
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:28,701
and I think they might work with fruit pies.
152
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,305
Hello, what have we here?
153
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,410
[Dramatic instrumental music]
154
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,716
One man who was healed by dolphins
told me:
155
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,881
"Angels are dolphins
who haven't learned to swim."
156
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:47,824
People ask me how to approach
these wise cetaceans. And I can only say:
157
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:51,886
"Be honest with them and they will
share their secrets with you."�
158
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,862
I'm gonna lower the lights now
so we can watch our video:
159
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,697
A Dream of Dolphins.
160
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,504
NARRATOR: / dive into the gentle sea...
161
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,205
to free the dolphin inside of me.
162
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:16,952
I don't want any photos.
Go take pictures of the golf course.
163
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,584
They can feel negative energy. Relax.
164
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,031
[Whistling]
165
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,155
Go!
166
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,233
[Screaming]
167
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,230
[Tense instrumental music]
168
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,306
Wow.
169
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,605
That was a mighty fine catch.
170
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,104
He kind of feels like rubber.
171
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,878
Hold on to Duke's fin.
172
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,843
Let him take you.
173
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,084
Look at me.
174
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,451
[Tranquil instrumental music]
175
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,200
Hey, Luanne.
176
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,436
-This isn't as asinine as I thought.
-Thanks.
177
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:11,977
[Laughing]
178
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:18,341
Boy, I tell you what, this is one--
Just a second, Duke.
179
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,119
[Dolphin screaming]
180
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,518
Cut it out.
181
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,651
What's going on?
182
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,162
There's nothing's wrong, but you should
get out of the pool immediately.
183
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:32,665
[Hank yelling]
184
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,768
-What do I do?
-Have fun.
185
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,269
Get the manager out here.
186
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,006
BOBBY: How's this?
PEGGY: That is perfect.
187
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,405
[Camera clicking]
188
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,179
Wait, one with the flash, just to be safe.
189
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,223
Excuse me, is it safe to assume...
190
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,388
you won't be purchasing a videotape
of your dolphin encounter?
191
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,795
Get out of here.
You're in trouble, all of you.
192
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,301
That fish had better have had its shots.
193
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,497
I'm the food and recreation director
here at La Grunta...
194
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,303
That thing attacked me.
That's not what my niece paid for.
195
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,066
-Is it?
-No.
196
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,704
Is it?
197
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,211
You all used me for chum.
That stupid fish could've drowned me.
198
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,650
Mr. Hill, there's no way on earth
Duke would have let you drown.
199
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,949
That dolphin loves you. A lot.
200
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,989
That's a damn funny way to show it.
201
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:35,359
Mr. Hill, Duke has the same desires
we all do.
202
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:39,420
With all of your fondling,
Duke became aroused...
203
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,297
and was attempting to become...
204
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,897
physically intimate with you.
205
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,241
HANK: Oh, my God!
INSTRUCTOR: It's a compliment, really.
206
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,608
[Choking]
207
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,510
He's not going to get away with this.
Give me that tape!
208
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,843
I'm sending this in
to When Animals Attack...
209
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,850
and then they'll fly us out to Hollywood,
'cause it'll win.
210
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:02,388
Luanne, please!
No one is going to see that tape.
211
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,488
Now, Mr. Hill,
let's move on past the blame game.
212
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:09,153
I don't care who led who on.
Now, if you'll sign our waiver form...
213
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,095
-Uncle Hank?
-...your family's brunch is free.
214
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:16,560
That handsome bathrobe is yours
along with a beautiful gift basket...
215
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,402
and we'll throw in 25 La Grunta dollars.
216
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,667
HANK: Fine.
DIRECTOR: We'll go get the form.
217
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:27,646
Luanne, you and I have a secret
that we must take to our graves.
218
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,914
Are you threatening to kill me, Uncle Hank?
219
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,016
Of course not.
220
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,349
PEGGY: They're right,
La Grunta is La Greatest.
221
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,950
They even have extra-wide slippers
for the full-footed woman.
222
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,961
Luanne, honey,
how could you afford all these things?
223
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,389
How could I afford not to?
224
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,332
What really I meant was--
225
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,996
I don't know how she could be
so dang generous, either.
226
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,404
You didn't steal them, did you?
227
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,007
You didn't.
228
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,106
Honey, did you try the capers
with your fruit pies yet?
229
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:06,413
That was a real disappointment.
I'd rather not talk about it.
230
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,949
We're doing great.
They don't suspect a thing.
231
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:16,051
See that? It's like it never happened.
232
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:19,257
But you can't mention it to me even...
233
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,335
-or it's like it did happen, you see?
-Gotcha.
234
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,608
La Grunta Microbrewery.
235
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,842
-Shut up, Dale.
-You can't say, "Shut up.�
236
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,504
I haven't made fun of you
for going to the hotel yet.
237
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,742
How long will you
beat this into the ground?
238
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,716
The hotel is history.
I thought I could have a morning...
239
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,652
without hearing about the dolphin,
but I guess not.
240
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,156
So what's your damn dolphin joke?
241
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,019
-Now you've ruined it.
-Good.
242
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,218
Hank's got one.
243
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,325
I get hooksies.
244
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,869
HANK: Get it off.
245
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,735
It was an ugly fish. I got a little scared, too.
246
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:11,308
98.8 degrees.
You can have it your way, Mr. Egg.
247
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,216
We can wait just as long as you.
248
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:18,113
You're not dealing with a couple of
hormone-crazed teenagers here.
249
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,419
Come on!
250
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,222
[Knocking at door]
251
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,356
Okay, we're decent.
252
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,965
Turn-down service. Here's your hotel mints.
253
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,260
Bingo! It's time!
254
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,771
Oh, yeah.
255
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,944
[Dolphins squeaking]
256
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,382
[Yelling]
257
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,049
Hank, what's wrong with you?
258
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,378
[Knocking at door]
259
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,356
Are you guys going to eat those mints?
260
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,688
Good day for it, too.
261
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,620
All right, drink girl!
The drink girl gets to take my putt for me.
262
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:02,031
LUANNE: I don't know how.
GOLFER #1: It's easy. Here I'll show you.
263
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,627
Now, you relax the grip,
keep your arms straight.
264
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,968
Shoulders back. Now, flex those knees
and bend your waist.
265
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,272
[Golfer #1 laughing]
266
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,005
You have good form.
267
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,446
Sorry, I got to go.
268
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,611
Wait, the lesson's not over yet.
We didn't pay for our drinks.
269
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,085
That's okay.
270
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,221
-Coming through.
-Don't touch me.
271
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,887
-I'm sorry.
-That's okay.
272
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,298
-You didn't do anything.
-Is something wrong?
273
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,432
I shouldn't tell anyone.
274
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,529
You didn't tell me, I figured it out.
275
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,238
I guess.
276
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:47,842
Some of the men
on the golf course got fresh with me.
277
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,276
Did they use any swear words?
278
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,319
No, it was more physical.
279
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,888
HANK: Did you report them?
280
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:59,049
No. Then everyone would know.
281
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:03,061
I shouldn't have taken the putt
in the first place. That was unprofessional.
282
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,527
That's crazy.
283
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:08,225
-You didn't tell anyone when you were--
-Luanne. Please.
284
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,162
It's better to just
put these things behind you.
285
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,637
If you can make it work, so can I.
286
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:17,073
-Now, wait a minute, I didn't mean--
-Sorry. Can't talk about it.
287
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:21,941
Now I'm not so sure
I want to be a golf course drink girl.
288
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,518
-Dad, we're down to two jars of capers.
-We can't get any more.
289
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,457
What does that mean? How hard can it be?
290
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,325
HANK: You don't want to know.
PEGGY: What are you doing, Luanne?
291
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,263
Looking pretty in public
is just asking for trouble...
292
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,835
so I borrowed some of your clothes.
293
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,535
Okay, I'm just saying...
294
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,370
those two jars won't get me
through the weekend.
295
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:50,532
No!
296
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:57,806
All right, Hank, I'm nobody's fool.
So, what exactly is going on?
297
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,657
It was the dolphin. He attacked me.
298
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,253
I see.
299
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:09,725
No, it was more than that. He...
300
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,628
Remember the movie on Lifetime?
301
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,895
You know, what Gregory Harrison
did to Valerie Bertinelli?
302
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,937
My God! I have never...
303
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,801
Actually, I have had a dog hump my leg.
It doesn't feel good, does it?
304
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:23,899
No.
305
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:28,447
I thought ignoring it would make it better,
but it just made it worse for everyone.
306
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,351
You know, I've never said this
about anything before...
307
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:36,646
-but it feels good to talk about it.
-That's good. Come on, just let it all out.
308
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:41,023
It is so horrible. I mean, that creature
swimming at you with that hungry look...
309
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,789
waving his...
I mean, does he even have a...
310
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,059
-It's a mammal, Peggy.
-Then, of course, he would.
311
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,693
I'm sorry. He is a mammal
and would have mammalian organs...
312
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,238
roughly in proportion to body size,
I'm guessing...
313
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:57,139
-That's enough talking about it for now.
-Whatever feels best.
314
00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:00,708
This is all so disorienting. It's hard not to...
315
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,975
-I mean, did he know where to go?
-Peggy!
316
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:04,917
I don't know what I'll do...
317
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,850
but it starts with
not lying about what happened.
318
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,582
It's the dolphin
who ought to be ashamed of himself.
319
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:17,658
[Bill crying]
320
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,596
It happened to me.
321
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:29,233
The same thing happened to me
six years ago...
322
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,341
-and four years ago.
-What?
323
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,813
Yeah. I saved up the $150
and I was going to live it up.
324
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:41,376
I was going to live it up like the big boys,
swimming with the dolphins.
325
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:44,582
It was going to turn my life around.
326
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,225
Give me my confidence back.
327
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,117
And then...
328
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,753
What'd you do about it?
329
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,992
Those hotel guys bought me off...
330
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,197
with this T-shirt.
It made me feel cheap and used...
331
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,273
but it breathes nice.
332
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,433
All right, there's one thing I can do.
333
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:06,512
Quit drinking that hotel beer.
I'm going to take it back.
334
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:09,381
Hey!
335
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:16,120
Good for you, Hank Hill. You throw those
30 pieces of silver right back at them.
336
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,115
The slippers too, Peggy.
337
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:21,250
A pair of slippers
isn't going to give you your dignity back.
338
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,261
-You were humped by a dolphin.
-Come on, Peggy.
339
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,329
[Upbeat instrumental music]
340
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,135
[Squeaking]
341
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,130
Yes, that's so true. You're so wise.
342
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,040
There. Take it all back.
I don't want your payoff.
343
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,772
What do you want? Money? Publicity?
344
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:44,746
I want to see to it that no one has
to go through what I went through...
345
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,081
-except for a female dolphin.
-You signed the agreement.
346
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:51,656
Our lawyers will do what it takes
to protect the good name of La Grunta.
347
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,151
Why must you speak through
guys like him?
348
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,991
Why is it never me?
349
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,932
GOLFER #1: Here you go, darling.
350
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,897
[Tense instrumental music]
351
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,329
[Squeaking loudly]
352
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,208
What's this? Who are you?
The parking guy?
353
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,339
Okay, I'm not handicapped.
354
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,820
Go ahead. Run. Because I'm through
running away from you.
355
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,584
From now on,
I'm going to dress any way I want...
356
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,683
and you'll just have to deal with it.
357
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,657
HANK: You think you can touch anyone
you want, anywhere you want?
358
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,760
You think it's okay
because no one says it's not?
359
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:44,109
Okay. You threw me in the pool. Good job.
360
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,077
I don't care.
I was going for a swim anyway.
361
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,648
You know, people pay a lot of money
to swim in here.
362
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,086
You gave it to me for free. Thanks, pal.
363
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,486
I owe you one. Maybe I'll buy you a beer.
364
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:01,918
What are you...
365
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,793
[Golfer #1 yelling]
366
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,561
[Dolphin squeaking]
367
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:16,940
Let's all wish Duke good luck
as he begins his return to the ocean.
368
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,966
Goodbye, Duke.
369
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,078
So long, little buddy.
370
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:25,710
Goodbye, Duke. I love you.
371
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,011
Mom, can I have a T-shirt?
372
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,821
-Thank you, Uncle Hank.
-You're welcome, Luanne.
373
00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:38,422
Can I send in the video
to When Animals Attack now?
374
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:41,432
HANK: I don't think so.
LUANNE: We could split the money.
375
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,298
HANK: That's not necessary.
376
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:46,372
LUANNE: I can have it all?
HANK: Luanne, give me the tape.
377
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:49,199
LUANNE: I already sent it in.
I thought you'd say yes.
378
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,218
[Hank sighing]
379
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:50,333
[Hank sighing]
380
00:21:57,516 --> 00:21:59,450
[Theme song]
381
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,609
HANK: / never get brunch.
382
00:22:29,659 --> 00:22:34,209
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