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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,538
[THEME SONG]
2
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[GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
3
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,801
Morning, Dale.
4
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,948
- DALE: Hi, John Redcorn.
- JOHN: Dale.
5
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,682
Morning, John Redcorn.
6
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,784
Peggy. Just dropping off
a new healing herb for Nancy,
7
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,296
to help with her migraines.
Ginkgo biloba.
8
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,492
Yeah, sure, I've heard of that.
9
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,864
[ROCK-AND-ROLL
PLAYING ON STEREO]
10
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:18,311
[CHUCKLING]
11
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,440
Well, you must be
reading Doyle Harcavy.
12
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,380
What's he got for us this morning?
13
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,535
"When it comes
to starting the day,
14
00:01:25,659 --> 00:01:27,784
nothing wakes me up
faster than coffee."
15
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,687
Boy, he's got that right.
16
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:36,059
"They say children are a blessing,
but mine are holy terrors."
17
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,234
Doyle Harcavy knows children.
18
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,804
Of course, his daughter
jumped out a window.
19
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,000
[SIGHING]
20
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:55,479
I don't believe it. Doyle Harcavy
is retiring from the musings column.
21
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:56,572
No.
22
00:01:56,683 --> 00:02:00,176
He's going to write product descriptions
for Bradley Air and Heat.
23
00:02:00,278 --> 00:02:02,439
I don't know how
they'll ever replace him.
24
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:03,655
I know how.
25
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,783
You can write that column, Aunt Peggy.
You're a natural.
26
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,954
Now, Luanne, Peggy has a musing
now and then,
27
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,657
but Doyle Harcavy
is a musing machine.
28
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,326
I think I could do it
as well as anyone else could.
29
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,961
I play Boggle,
and that takes verbal ability.
30
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,733
And I'm always making observations
all day long.
31
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:24,004
- Really? Go ahead. Come up with one.
- You mean right now?
32
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,047
Okay. All right. Well, let's see.
33
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,575
[MUTTERING]
34
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:33,046
I like milk.
35
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,813
Hey, that's the best so far.
36
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,448
Do one about cookies.
37
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,037
[SIGHING]
38
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:57,677
No.
39
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,876
Stupid.
40
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,014
Too obvious.
41
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,880
Why don't you try some out on me?
Give me your five best.
42
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,924
I cannot work with you coming in here
every two hours and yelling at me.
43
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,092
[EXHALING]
44
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,159
I'm going to Nancy's.
45
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,765
[ROCK-AND-ROLL
PLAYING ON STEREO]
46
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,199
Nancy.
47
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:26,903
[MOANING]
48
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,576
Nancy!
49
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,172
PEGGY:
Hello.
50
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,013
Where are you?
51
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,377
[MUSIC STOPS]
52
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,449
Nancy.
53
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,184
Nancy.
54
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,712
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
55
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,292
There you are.
Hello, John Redcorn.
56
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,157
Yes, we were just back here.
57
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,228
I just had to get out of that house.
58
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:54,266
I am trying to do some creative work,
and Hank seems to think
59
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:57,234
that he's helping by making me
more and more stressed-out.
60
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,396
It is giving me a
whopping headache.
61
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,941
Yes. Headaches can often
be caused by stress.
62
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,774
Of course, John Redcorn.
You're a licensed New Age healer.
63
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,678
Why don't I try a
healing session with you?
64
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,874
[HESITATING]
65
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,849
I guess that would be all right.
It is my job.
66
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,218
That would be great.
Okay, I'll call you for an appointment.
67
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:24,295
That was awkward.
What kind of game is she playing?
68
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,729
Sug', I don't think
she knows about us.
69
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,625
Peggy's got such
a trusting nature.
70
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,895
She always believes
the best in people.
71
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,167
You know, all of a sudden,
I feel dirty.
72
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,934
- NANCY: I'm gonna take a shower.
- JOHN: I'll join you.
73
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,143
[CAR ALARM BEEPING]
74
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,630
PEGGY:
Isn't this lovely.
75
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:02,028
I wasn't expecting carpet.
I was expecting...
76
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,096
I don't know what I was expecting.
Not carpet.
77
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,830
Peggy, relax.
78
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,766
PEGGY:
What an interesting chair.
79
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:14,279
When I'm sitting in a chair, I never know
quite what to do with my head.
80
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,780
So this is wonderful.
81
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,044
Thank you. It's from Brookstone.
82
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,520
[MOANING]
83
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,022
[CAR ALARM BEEPING]
84
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,988
[WHALES SQUEALING ON STEREO]
85
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:30,254
The whales sing of joy and sorrow,
of gain and loss...
86
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,824
like LeAnn Rimes.
87
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,767
[MOANING]
88
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,063
Now, there.
89
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,402
Now lie quietly for
as long as you want
90
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,170
while I copy both sides
of your insurance card.
91
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,081
[SNORING]
92
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:55,119
Peggy's gonna have a hard time
replacing Doyle Harcavy.
93
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,451
That guy's amazing.
94
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,651
You look at his picture in the paper,
he never gets a day older.
95
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,820
She has to mail in a
sample column this week.
96
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,656
But she'll muse circles around him
if she can just get past her headaches.
97
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,825
Those headaches are good as gone.
98
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,597
Peggy went to John Redcorn
for a healing.
99
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,695
What?
100
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:16,436
Don't worry, old John R will fix her up
just like he does for Nancy,
101
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,272
three times a week.
102
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:19,606
BILL:
Oh, Hank,
103
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:24,616
I'm sure Peggy's headache
is nowhere near as serious as Nancy's.
104
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,579
I tell you what, man.
You don't want to know.
105
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,917
I can't even know
what it is with you.
106
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,821
Don't worry about Peggy.
107
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,155
She does not have
the same kind of...
108
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:38,261
medical condition
that's causing Dale's wife
109
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,426
to suffer unduly.
Where is she?
110
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,203
[EXHALING]
111
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,671
[SINGING] ? Everything is beautiful
In its own way ?
112
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,144
Hi, Hank.
113
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,983
Peggy. I guess dinner's gonna be
a little late tonight.
114
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,312
[PEGGY SIGHING]
115
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,556
I just had a headache session
with John Redcorn.
116
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,093
He lit some sweetgrass
and then I drifted off.
117
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,322
The next thing I knew
I felt fan-freaking-tastic.
118
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,090
Good. Your headache's gone.
119
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,292
Then I guess you're all done
with John-freaking-Redcorn.
120
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,098
No, this is just the beginning.
121
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,174
I have already scheduled
another treatment for next week.
122
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,574
Peggy. I don't know how some guy
rubbing your neck helps your head.
123
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,578
I mean, what's the connection?
124
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,775
My reporter's instincts tell me
125
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,408
someone's a little grumpy
without his dinner.
126
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,645
I just got my first musing:
127
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,189
"My husband calls me
his better half,
128
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,590
because I better half dinner
on the table when he gets home."
129
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,593
I'm gonna go write that up
while it's still fresh.
130
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,293
- What's wrong, Uncle Hank?
- Nothing's wrong.
131
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,930
It's good news. Peggy had her
headache cured by John Redcorn.
132
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,007
[GASPS]
133
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:59,305
Stop that. Put your face back the
way it was before somebody sees you.
134
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:02,109
- What's wrong, Luanne?
- Nothing's wrong, Bobby.
135
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:05,241
Now go play outside.
Dinner's gonna be a little late.
136
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,319
[GASPS]
137
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,682
Hank, would you like a beer?
138
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,524
This is not a social call,
John Redcorn.
139
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,463
I think I know why you're here.
Your wife came to me with a headache.
140
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,092
A real headache.
141
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,294
Her head actually hurt.
142
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:27,402
I know that. But as I recall,
that's how it started with Nancy Gribble.
143
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,168
Hank, you are my friend.
144
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,504
I promise I would never heal your wife
the way I heal the wives of others.
145
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:37,106
You better not. Because if you lay
one unprofessional hand on Peggy,
146
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,049
I'm gonna kick your ass.
147
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,853
[WIND BLOWING]
148
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,716
I will.
149
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,923
[PEGGY AND NANCY LAUGHING]
150
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,562
Oh, my Lord. Hank, I got it.
151
00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,347
They are giving me the musings column.
152
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,927
Thank God.
153
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,461
You got the job. The pressure's off.
No more headaches, right?
154
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,129
Are you kidding?
I have weekly deadlines now.
155
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:01,825
I'll have to schedule
a regular night with John Redcorn.
156
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:03,325
What? No.
157
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:06,242
You don't need John Redcorn
to get rid of a headache.
158
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,607
Here. I'll give you a massage.
159
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,545
[PEGGY WINCING]
160
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,008
Just let me know
where you really need it.
161
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,280
That's my kidneys.
162
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,550
Breathe. Picture a wide-open field.
163
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,992
Throw some birds
in there if you want.
164
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:23,028
Hank, stop it. You're just pinching,
slapping, and poking me.
165
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,393
What is it that you have
against John Redcorn?
166
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:29,180
Don't make me say it.
You know what he does to his clients.
167
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:31,025
You think he's overcharging me?
168
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:33,100
For your information,
I checked around.
169
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:36,972
He is less expensive
than both VIP and Oriental Massage.
170
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,571
For God sakes, Peggy, come on.
171
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:43,215
It's taken him 13 years
to cure Nancy's headache.
172
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,647
So you're saying...
173
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,516
What are you...
You're calling him a quack?
174
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,782
You're saying his methods
aren't effective?
175
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,324
HANK: No. I'm saying
they're very effective.
176
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,655
Come on, you know
what I'm talking about.
177
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,890
Nancy. John Redcorn. Joseph.
178
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,942
Good God!
179
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,517
I just cannot believe
that I could be so stupid.
180
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,144
How could you not tell me what
was going on in my own side yard?
181
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,814
I thought you knew.
How could you not know?
182
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,756
Look at Joseph.
Where do you think he came from?
183
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,562
Nancy told me Dale had
a Jamaican grandmother.
184
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:30,956
I believed her.
185
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,257
Oh, my God. Dale.
Does Dale know?
186
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,837
No, he's as slow as you.
187
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,535
In a sweet, trusting sort of way.
188
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,467
PEGGY:
Shameless tramp.
189
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,376
How can she?
I just cannot believe.
190
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,148
[GRUNTING]
191
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,249
Ow.
192
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,781
- You dirty bird.
- What's wrong, sug'?
193
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,881
Joseph is not Jamaican.
And neither is Dale.
194
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,485
And I am beginning to suspect
that his grandmother isn't either.
195
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,864
So you know. Who told you?
196
00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:07,524
No one had to tell me.
How stupid do you think I am?
197
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,763
You've been cheating for 12 years.
Nancy, how could you?
198
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,031
I have my reasons.
199
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:15,904
Yes, and I've seen those reasons
packed into his Sergio Valente jeans.
200
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,934
I bet you don't even
have headaches anymore.
201
00:11:22,109 --> 00:11:23,770
PEGGY:
And you!
202
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,535
Dale Gribble is your friend.
203
00:11:25,702 --> 00:11:27,749
How could you be a
look-the-other-wayer?
204
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:32,087
Now, Peggy, you're sort of freaked out
because it's still fresh for you.
205
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,423
Live with it awhile.
You'll see, you'll get used to it.
206
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,465
The only thing I ever want to get used to
is a cold glass of lemonade.
207
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,467
I am still a journalist, darn it.
208
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,540
[SNIFFING]
209
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,232
Did anyone else
sniff today's garbage?
210
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,313
And I thought
yesterday's garbage smelled good.
211
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,643
Morning, Dale.
212
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,381
You poor man.
213
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,421
- DALE: Hi, John Redcorn.
- JOHN: Dale.
214
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,257
Well, well, well.
215
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,996
- PEGGY: John Redcorn.
- JOHN: Peggy.
216
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,961
Nancy's headache's
very severe this morning.
217
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,873
Must be the pollen.
218
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,136
- Well, well, well.
- Well.
219
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,075
[OVER-PRONOUNCING]
John Redcorn.
220
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,109
[OVER-PRONOUNCING]
Peggy Hill.
221
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,382
MINH: Peggy Hill, what's so important
I have to jump off treadmill?
222
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,580
I am so sorry, Minh,
but I had to talk to someone.
223
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,588
It's about Nancy.
224
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,293
- She's having an affair.
- Oh, my God.
225
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:44,489
- She's cheating on John Redcorn?
- You know about them?
226
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,064
Not at first.
It took me about an hour.
227
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,533
But I am naive
and trusting person.
228
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,038
- Peggy Hill, you not know?
- I knew.
229
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,868
Peggy Hill not know. That is so funny.
Okay, who I tell?
230
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,466
I e-mail Kahn.
231
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,911
Why are we drinking beer
in front of my house?
232
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,279
We always drink beer
in the back of my house.
233
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,715
This feels wrong.
234
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,182
But I like it.
235
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,915
Dale will never find us here.
And we need to talk alone.
236
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,953
Does it bother anyone
that we've known for years
237
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,531
what's going on with Nancy,
and Dale doesn't?
238
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,726
[OVERACTING] Nancy's having an affair
with John Redcorn?
239
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,734
This is the first I've heard of it.
240
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:28,364
I am shocked, I mean, I am shocked.
That's what I mean, I am appalled.
241
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,136
You don't want to be prying
into them family secrets.
242
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,906
You don't want get
any old skeletons in no closet, man.
243
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,311
Just like that little turd
Orville Redenbacher, man.
244
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,407
Turns out he was just
a dang old actor, man.
245
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:41,488
Look, can't we just discuss it
for five seconds?
246
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,852
I don't believe it. I've known
Dale and Nancy for years,
247
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,119
and they have a fairy-book marriage.
248
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:49,027
Shut up, Bill.
249
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,231
[DOORBELL RINGING]
250
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,996
Why, Dale, how nice to see you.
251
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,829
I can't find Hank, Bill,
or Boomhauer.
252
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:00,996
[CLEARS THROAT]
253
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:05,408
If they're hiding behind the door,
just nod slowly.
254
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,673
You sweet man.
255
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,179
You know, I have been thinking
a lot about you.
256
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,150
We never get to talk, you and I.
Why is that?
257
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,182
Anyway, Nancy should count herself lucky
to have a man like you.
258
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:23,189
Just look at you.
The way that hat accents your head.
259
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:27,161
Plenty of women would be happy
to have you. Good women.
260
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,625
Would you like to come in
for some pie?
261
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:31,737
[CLEARS THROAT]
262
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,336
I should go.
263
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,141
Hey, Dale. What's going on?
264
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:40,372
Not much. Peggy Hill wants to leave Hank
and run away with me.
265
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:44,006
[OVERACTING] I don't believe it.
They have a fairy-book marriage.
266
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,614
"Let's face it.
Angie Dickinson has lost her looks."
267
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:54,325
"Mix pineapple juice with club soda,
you've got yourself a big bucket of crap."
268
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,987
Well, go ahead, say it.
They're terrible.
269
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,891
How can I appreciate
the little things in life
270
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,470
when so many big things
are wrong and evil?
271
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:06,803
Don't worry, Aunt Peggy.
272
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:11,636
I'm sure that even Doyle Harcavy
had trouble sometimes.
273
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,575
Doyle Harcavy. If you ask me,
Doyle Harcavy wasn't that good.
274
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:16,648
[GASPS]
275
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,549
Thank you, Mom.
It's about time somebody said it.
276
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,519
Of course coffee wakes you up
in the morning.
277
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,183
I mean, that's how they advertise it.
278
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,758
HANK:
You'll see.
279
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:32,195
Being with the Gribbles when you know
about Nancy is weird at first,
280
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,323
but it goes away
after a few years.
281
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,835
It helps if you think
of something else.
282
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,872
I use sports.
You can use Boggle.
283
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:42,073
All right. You guys are just in time.
284
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,338
Boomhauer's on second
and Nancy's healer's at bat.
285
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:52,146
Man, look at that John Redcorn.
He sure can swing.
286
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,318
[DALE HOOTING]
287
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,780
[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
288
00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,718
- Good eye.
- Are you kidding?
289
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:03,194
This guy never strikes out.
Ain't that right, Nancy?
290
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,597
Boggle. Think Boggle.
291
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,025
All right, wingo, man.
292
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,104
Redcorn's gonna score again.
293
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:16,237
"Score." "Scores." "Core." "Cores."
294
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,968
"Sore." "Sores."
295
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,377
All right, come on, John. Come on.
He's going all the way.
296
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,880
I have to get out of here.
297
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,610
Ball park nachos.
298
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,816
You don't buy them.
You only rent them.
299
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,786
I'm done, Hank.
My rose-colored glasses are off,
300
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,690
and the world looks
flesh-colored and unappealing.
301
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,762
I cannot live the lie anymore.
302
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,524
It takes two to talk about it,
303
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,566
and everyone else already knows
and isn't interested.
304
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,096
No, not everybody knows, Hank.
305
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:48,299
I can think of one person who doesn't.
The one person who really should.
306
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,169
[DALE CHEERING]
307
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:54,179
All right.
Way to go, Big Bad John.
308
00:16:58,384 --> 00:16:59,681
Hold up, Peggy.
309
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:03,722
You can't just walk back over there
and tell Dale his wife's cheating on him.
310
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,985
Just let sleeping dogs lie.
311
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:09,551
Interesting choice of words,
Mr. Hill. "Lie!"
312
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,323
I meant lie down.
313
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:15,424
I know that, Hank.
Dogs don't tell lies. Only people lie.
314
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,767
They lie like dogs.
315
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,375
[SANDER WHIRRING]
316
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,843
Hank, there's something I just figured out
and you need to know.
317
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,349
Sorry, I can't hear you.
318
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:36,251
Probably none of my
business anyway. Sander.
319
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,192
[GRUNTING]
320
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,119
Hank, it's important.
321
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,569
Your wife loves me
and wants us to run off together.
322
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,172
I've not yet been able
to ascertain where.
323
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:56,333
- Dale--
- No problemo on this end.
324
00:17:56,426 --> 00:17:58,520
I don't even find her attractive.
325
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:01,006
Of course you do,
and I appreciate the lie.
326
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,172
But Peggy's just being nice to you.
327
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,081
But you're a good friend
for wanting to tell me.
328
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:11,116
If the shoe were on the other foot,
would you want to know?
329
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,952
Don't flatter yourself, Hank.
330
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,994
Nancy likes her men thin
and pale of face.
331
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,663
I thank God every day
for sending me an angel
332
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,756
with the hots for my
track team physique.
333
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,367
PEGGY: "You hear the expression,
'Lie like a dog,'
334
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,810
often enough that
it is almost a clich�.
335
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,842
But more often than not,
336
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,611
if someone is lying to you,
they are a person.
337
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,914
We all know a certain person
who is lying to her husband.
338
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:46,617
Every time we look the other way,
we add a lie to a lie.
339
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,858
Well, this reporter
is not gonna lie anymore.
340
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,491
And you can print that."
341
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,407
- Excuse me.
- Sug', listen.
342
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,375
I love Dale,
but in a lights-on sort of way.
343
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,377
I feel for you, I really do.
344
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,144
But you married for better or worse,
and worse includes Dale.
345
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,784
- Now, either you tell him or I will.
- Peggy, please.
346
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,920
- I'm not going to--
- Well, then get out of my way.
347
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,958
[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
348
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,334
[SIGHING]
349
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,160
Hey, Dale.
350
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:34,634
I thought I'd like to take
a little of my own advice this morning.
351
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:38,176
- Having some waffles, are you?
- No, I meant the longer one.
352
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,745
About sleeping dogs.
353
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,475
Dale, I have to tell you
something very important.
354
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,813
HANK:
Oh, no.
355
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:47,986
Dale...
356
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,488
Nancy is not the wife
you think she is.
357
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:53,354
And John Redcorn,
358
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,928
he is not the friend
that you think he is.
359
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,360
Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
360
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:02,866
Nancy and John Redcorn
did something to your dog?
361
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,369
No, damn it, Dale.
Nancy and John Redcorn are--
362
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:08,702
- Hey, Dad!
- Just a sec, Peggy. Yes, son?
363
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:12,611
Me and Bobby are bored.
What do we do?
364
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,610
How about renting a videotape?
365
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:18,082
Yeah, we want to see Encino Man,
but we don't have any money.
366
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:22,209
Pauly Shore, 1992 classic.
367
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,348
I got two fives, one for you,
one for me.
368
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,957
Thanks, Dad.
369
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,396
Wait. I found some more.
370
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,494
Can't watch Encino Man
without milk balls, huh?
371
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,637
Thanks, Dad!
372
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,307
Sorry about that, Peggy.
373
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,138
Now, what is it that I don't know?
374
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:48,313
Dale...
375
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,479
I just found out...
376
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:55,580
that Vikings were the first visitors
to the moon.
377
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,283
I knew that.
378
00:20:57,389 --> 00:21:00,324
Why do you think we named
our spacecraft after them?
379
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:04,194
- Poor naive Peggy.
- That makes sense.
380
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,298
I'm so glad
you and I could have this little talk.
381
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,958
I feel so much better.
382
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,230
Okay, I guess.
383
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,069
Peggy?
384
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,670
You got a good husband there.
385
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,303
He doesn't have the best body
on the alley,
386
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:23,182
but he's got a good head
on his shoulders.
387
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,347
Yeah, I know.
388
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,782
Well, how'd he take it?
389
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:36,960
I couldn't tell him.
390
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,793
I guess some things
are best left unsaid.
391
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:40,966
Yep.
392
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,301
- You know, Hank, I really--
- I know.
393
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,426
- And, Peggy--
- I got you.
394
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,027
All right, then.
395
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,436
Great, pepperoni it is.
396
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,751
[THEME SONG]
397
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,346
JOHN [OVER-PRONOUNCING]:
Peggy Hill.
398
00:22:30,396 --> 00:22:34,946
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