Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,603
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
2
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,061
[BOBBY GRUNTS]
3
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,162
[EXCLAIMS]
4
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,774
I'm cold.
5
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,673
Why don't we just buy the worms
at a bait shop?
6
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,677
Bait shop worms are
factory-farm worms.
7
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,342
They keep them in little cages
their whole lives.
8
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:53,717
They never get to run around free.
It's sad, really.
9
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,146
And the fish know the difference.
10
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,555
Why don't you just buy the fish?
11
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,850
You're missing the point.
12
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,555
We don't fish for the fish.
13
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,925
Ninety percent of what I like
about this sport, and it is a sport,
14
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,531
is sitting in the boat
for five hours doing nothing.
15
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:15,935
And the icing on the cake is when
God smiles on you and you hook one.
16
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:20,146
And then when you're reeling it in,
everything else falls away.
17
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,275
You don't think about taxes or traffic
18
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,748
or that pushy gal
that's trying to get into the Citadel
19
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,515
or who's going to take care of you
20
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,388
when your mother and I
are old and incapacitated.
21
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,392
All there is is a man,
a rod, a lake, and a fish.
22
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:39,121
And it all starts
with a hand-dug American worm.
23
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,428
Dad, who is gonna take care of me?
24
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,035
What the hell?
25
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,365
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
26
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,977
Somebody's trying to steal my truck.
Hey! Get out of there!
27
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,842
BILLY RAY:
Let me go, man!
28
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:56,315
HANK: You ain't going nowhere.
I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.
29
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,511
- You can't do that.
- The hell I can't!
30
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,054
- BOBBY: The hell he can't!
- HANK: Language, Bobby.
31
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,881
As an American citizen,
I have the authority
32
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,688
to detain you until an officer
of the peace arrives.
33
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,956
I also have the authority
to kick your ass,
34
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,896
which is something that your father
obviously forgot to do.
35
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,289
[GAVEL POUNDING]
36
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,699
Billy Ray Walters,
you've entered a plea of guilty.
37
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,703
Have your rights
been explained to you?
38
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:18,829
HANK:
Rights?
39
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:22,034
This had better not be one of them
Carter-appointee judges.
40
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,009
No, that's Judge Rowland McFarland.
41
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,546
He was in the paper
for his creative sentencing.
42
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:27,739
Oh, great!
43
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,140
Before I sentence you,
44
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:32,083
I want to express the court's
appreciation to Mr. Hank Hill...
45
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,244
Quiet, Peggy.
46
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,085
...who apprehended you
at great risk to his own person.
47
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,857
[SIGHS]
Hank's lucky he didn't get killed.
48
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,690
I hope they lock that thief up
and throw away the key.
49
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,856
That thief is my boyfriend.
50
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,231
- Boyfriend?
- Okay, Hot-wire.
51
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,836
Here's what we're gonna do.
You like trucks so much?
52
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,463
For the next 3 months,
I sentence you to live in a truck.
53
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,563
What the--
54
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,803
In prison, they'll just teach you
how to be a better truck thief.
55
00:02:56,943 --> 00:03:00,743
So you're gonna spend the next 90 days
in the cab of a pickup. An import.
56
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,005
[ALL GASP]
57
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:07,084
Finally, a judge with
some common sense.
58
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,449
- ATTENDANT: Hill?
- HANK: Yeah, Hank Hill.
59
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,652
You were holding
my truck for evidence.
60
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,093
Here's a picture of her, if it'll help.
61
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,290
Yes, here it is: space G-26.
62
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,731
What the... Oh, my God!
63
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,666
- What did you do to my truck?
- Let's see.
64
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,473
The thief was inside your vehicle.
65
00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:28,571
So under the law,
we checked it for drugs.
66
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,110
He was in my front seat.
67
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,805
He didn't hide any drugs
in my spark plugs.
68
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,573
We know that now.
69
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:38,507
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
70
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,747
HANK: [SIGHS]
If I don't get out on the lake,
71
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,619
my head is gonna pop a gasket.
72
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,418
Honey, please, calm down.
73
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,923
If you have a stroke,
who will help me take care of Bobby?
74
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,290
LUANNE: Uncle Hank,
I got the '92 Ford truck schematic
75
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,230
and I've lined up all the parts.
76
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,292
Dad, what are you looking for?
Are you looking for chicken?
77
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,854
It's right here. Chicken.
78
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,203
I'm looking for my
dang fishing shears.
79
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,569
PEGGY:
Relax.
80
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:05,440
Here. Nancy gave me some ginseng tea.
She got it from John Redcorn--
81
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,880
Ginseng? I don't need
to get all hopped up on dope.
82
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,782
LUANNE: I get stressed out
at the beauty school sometimes
83
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:15,811
with all the combing and politics,
and I just do yoga.
84
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,889
I can put my feet up behind my head.
Want me to show you?
85
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:19,949
No!
86
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,324
Keep your legs below your waist,
for God's sakes!
87
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,794
Look, all I need to do
is get out on the lake, and fish.
88
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,391
[HONKING]
89
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,293
[GRUNTS]
90
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,205
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
91
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,134
[BRAKES SQUEAKING]
92
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,974
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
93
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,511
[HANK SIGHS]
94
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,517
Listen to that silence.
95
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:49,279
- You ever hear anything so quiet?
- Hey, Boomhauer!
96
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:53,020
Trade you one of my garlic-scented lures
for one of your electric ones.
97
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:57,394
Why don't you guys call that stuff
by its real name: cheater bait.
98
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,792
DALE: You and your worms
are fishing in the past.
99
00:05:00,985 --> 00:05:03,433
In the days of
black-and-white televisions
100
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,802
and a democratically
elected Congress.
101
00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:13,695
Got one, man! It's a big ol'...
Man, look at them big ol' teeth on him!
102
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,011
It's like a big ol' taco grande, man,
with them dang ol'...
103
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,511
Dang, Boomhauer!
She's a beauty.
104
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,789
Say, "Cheese to meet you."
105
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,547
[DALE LAUGHS]
106
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,821
Okay, catch and release.
Time to throw her back.
107
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,454
All right, fella, there you go.
Tell your friends:
108
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,932
"Plenty more where that came from."
109
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,128
[DALE'S REEL WHIRRING]
110
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:42,335
Oh, yeah. Check it out.
111
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,377
"Hank calls it cheater bait.
112
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,740
But I call it scrumdiligarlicicious."
113
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:49,805
[EXCLAIMS IN PAIN]
114
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:50,940
Ingrate.
115
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,586
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
116
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,629
Hank, maybe
you should be taking the pictures.
117
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,324
Give you something to do.
118
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,560
You guys may be catching fish,
119
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,934
but I'm the only one fishing God's way,
with a worm.
120
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:15,297
You know what I just realized?
Hank hasn't caught a fish.
121
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,275
- You looking to go for a swim, Bill?
- No.
122
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,369
You know what else I just realized?
123
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:24,008
This is the first time any of us
has caught more fish than Hank.
124
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,146
Come on, Bill. Don't rub his nose in it.
Wingo, man!
125
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,652
I am the greatest.
126
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,849
[DALE CHUCKLES]
127
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,284
[SIGHS]
128
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:42,959
So, we're all meeting at the pharmacy
to get aloe vera for Bill's back.
129
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,564
[GROANING]
130
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,570
Maybe I'll meet you guys later.
131
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:51,339
I'm going down to the bait shop
to buy some new... hooks.
132
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,411
HANK:
Dang, Ray! What happened?
133
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:04,014
Did I miss one of your
"Ray's Gone Trout of His Mind" sales?
134
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:08,092
I'm going trout of business.
I can't compete with the Mega Lo Mart.
135
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,490
I hate Mega Lo Mart.
People go there just to save a nickel,
136
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,124
end up putting half of Arlen
out of business.
137
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,726
Anyway, what brings you in?
New rod, new reel, what?
138
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:21,568
Actually, I was thinking
of trying one of them scented lures.
139
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,465
Maybe vanilla.
140
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,178
You've given up the worm?
141
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,440
She let me down.
I reeled in empty today.
142
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,711
How about some
fluorescent salmon eggs,
143
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,812
or marshmallow bait,
or some blood-dough balls?
144
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,983
I tried those before.
They don't beat the worm.
145
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,749
Hey, I know.
146
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,959
You ever hear of a guy named Jack?
147
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,464
I went to high school
with a fella named--
148
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:48,399
RAY: This guy never went to school.
He grew up in the hills.
149
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,096
But he wrote the book
on homemade bait.
150
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,672
Course, it's just a bunch of scribbles,
'cause he never went to school.
151
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,836
- HANK: Where's his shop?
- RAY: He don't have a shop.
152
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,541
He sells his stuff out of his truck
at the corner of 6th and Woodmont.
153
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:02,775
Well, thanks.
154
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,847
I'll come by tomorrow
and pick up your propane tank.
155
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:06,909
[AGREEING]
156
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,011
Why don't you call first?
157
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,483
[ENGINE STARTS]
158
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,551
[TIRES SCREECHING]
159
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,634
[FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
160
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,407
Hey, G!
161
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,112
Whaddaya want, whaddaya need?
Looking to buy?
162
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,504
G...
163
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,472
I am looking to buy.
164
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,281
- Are you Jack?
- I got your jack right here, Jack.
165
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,583
HANK:
As I was telling Ray, Jack...
166
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,820
I've been thinking
about trying something new.
167
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:46,950
JACK:
Whatcha need?
168
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,223
I've always been a worm man,
169
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,696
but Ray was telling me
about your bait--
170
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:55,292
Bait? You call it "bait."
I like that. What you looking to spend?
171
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:57,968
Well, I got $20.
172
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,372
$20 will get you all the bait you need.
Rock on!
173
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:08,504
Freshness jars.
Sure don't get that at Mega Lo Mart.
174
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,689
DALE: Come on, Hank,
fish or get off the pot.
175
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,955
Just a second.
176
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,337
How the heck does Jack fish
with this stuff?
177
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,203
I like beer, Hank.
178
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,647
Don't you like beer? I love beer.
179
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:43,944
- BILL: Beer is--
- HANK: Got one! Yeah!
180
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,013
Sweet Gene Vincent! I'm back!
181
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,178
Dang, man! That's quick.
You done hooked.
182
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,190
Hank's the man.
Man, you're the fishing magician, man.
183
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,818
All right there, Red Head.
Back you go.
184
00:09:55,921 --> 00:09:59,619
Looks like they're hungry for worms today.
Pass me one, will you, Hank?
185
00:10:00,111 --> 00:10:01,484
What's the matter?
186
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,892
Batteries go dead on
your electric spinner?
187
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,638
Whoa, Hank! What you got there?
Blood-dough balls?
188
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:12,110
Dale, Hank only fishes with worms.
Why, anything else would be cheating.
189
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,039
Well, well, well.
190
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,478
Looks like our friend is a "hippiecrit."
191
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,883
Hold on there.
This is natural bait.
192
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,049
Homemade in the USA.
193
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:26,757
Hank, you can offer all the denials
and rationalizations you want,
194
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,885
but the bottom line is still the same.
195
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,124
- BILL: We want to try that bait.
- DALE: Yeah, man.
196
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,258
All right. Ease off.
A little chunk will do you.
197
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,701
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
198
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,079
Now that is the dangdest thing!
199
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,281
This is the same fish
I just threw back.
200
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,322
Come on, darling.
Time to get wet.
201
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,515
Come on now. Off my hook.
202
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,155
Go on now, get.
203
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,995
Vamonos.
204
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,194
[SCREAMS]
205
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,295
[GROANS]
206
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,174
Oh, man! Now I have to reapply
my sunscreen.
207
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,771
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
208
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,847
[HOEDOWN MUSIC PLAYING]
209
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,105
[LAUGHING]
210
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:36,652
I tell you what, I caught more fish today
than I did in the '80s.
211
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,557
And those were the Reagan years.
212
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:48,830
[SIGHING]
213
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,177
Somebody call Ripley.
214
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:03,189
'Cause he's the only one who'll believe
how many fish I caught this morning.
215
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,322
Is that where you've been?
216
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,417
- Oh, good Lord! The sun just came up.
- No, it didn't.
217
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,130
It rose at 4:57 a.m.,
218
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:15,225
exactly one hour after I landed
two 10-pound bucket mouths
219
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,462
on a single hook.
220
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:20,931
I tell you, it's like they were fighting
over that piece of Jack's miracle bait.
221
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,203
What are you buying bait for, Dad?
222
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:27,509
Remember, you said it all starts
with a hand-dug American worm?
223
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,883
No. I mean, yes, that's how it starts.
224
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,886
But a lot of things end up
different from where they start.
225
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,014
Like, remember that time
I started building you a clubhouse,
226
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,526
and I ended up with a new tool shed?
227
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:41,717
[CLEARS THROAT]
228
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,660
So, Luanne, how's my truck?
229
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:44,720
[LUANNE GROANS]
230
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:48,131
Bad news, Uncle Hank.
I had to order a new fuel pump.
231
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,631
I figured it was urgent,
so I asked them to UPS it.
232
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,502
Good thing I just got back from fishing,
or that would bother me.
233
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,774
It's kind of starting to bother me.
234
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,140
Yep, I'm bothered.
I had better get on the lake.
235
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:08,210
I'll tell you, I can't wait
to try some more of your new bait.
236
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,521
My bait? I wish I could help you,
but I only have a little bit left.
237
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:16,725
That's all right. It only takes a little bit
to catch the hogs with that stuff.
238
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,322
Yeah, it's too bad I'm all out.
239
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,225
You just said you had a little left.
240
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:26,032
- That's right, and then I used it up.
- Don't lie to us, friend.
241
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,735
'Cause when you lie,
you make an ass out of you and me.
242
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,369
Yeah, don't be bogarting
that dang ol' bait.
243
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:36,012
Anyway, I just remembered I promised
Bobby I'd take him fishing,
244
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,176
just the two of us. See you.
245
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,208
[DOOR CLOSES]
246
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,990
I'd take a stick of that gum.
247
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,456
[BOBBY GRUNTING]
248
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,003
I'm tired.
249
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:05,510
When's the part where we get to
sit around for five hours doing nothing?
250
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,568
[CHUCKLES]
251
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,442
That's a good one, son.
252
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:11,640
[RUSTLING]
253
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:12,742
[DOG BARKING]
254
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,049
Wake up, Hank.
We're being burgled.
255
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,679
[GROANING]
256
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,180
[GRUNTS]
257
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,285
You go check on Bobby.
I'll go see what's going on.
258
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,498
We'll just see how much
of that bait he has left.
259
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,661
You! Drop that tackle box!
260
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,200
[EXCLAIMS]
It's okay. It's me, Dale Gribble.
261
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,771
I said drop the box!
262
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,439
[ENGINE STARTING]
263
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,373
My termite inspection is concluded.
264
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,478
Congratulations, you passed!
265
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,120
BOBBY: Can I have some more butter
for my pancakes?
266
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,315
That's it! I'm going fishing.
267
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:00,956
[SIGHING]
268
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:08,903
Come on, take the bait.
You know you want it.
269
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,208
Where are you going? This ain't a worm.
This is the good stuff.
270
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,444
[TIRES SCREECHING]
271
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,554
Oh, man, the wonder bait!
For me?
272
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:25,453
- Wait a minute. What's wrong with it?
- It doesn't work anymore.
273
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,254
The fish won't touch the stuff.
274
00:15:27,322 --> 00:15:30,300
They spit it out like poison.
I don't get it.
275
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,160
I get it.
276
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:35,167
Take it from a graduate of the
Exterminators Academy at Humble.
277
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,329
You've introduced a new element
into their ecosystem.
278
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,902
Problem: They've gotten wise to it.
279
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,772
Solution: You need something stronger.
280
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,841
Cockroach 101.
281
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,202
[SIGHING]
282
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,182
HANK:
Now, don't get me wrong, Jack.
283
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,378
I'm not criticizing your product,
or by extension, you.
284
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,852
Yeah, I get it, Jack.
285
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,572
What you need is something stronger.
286
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,748
Exactly.
287
00:15:57,842 --> 00:16:00,818
You understand. What am I saying?
Of course you understand.
288
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,190
You're a fisherman.
289
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,813
DALE:
I'll have what he's having.
290
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,220
HANK: Dale?
What are you doing here?
291
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:09,266
I followed you.
Every twist and every turn.
292
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,392
[CLEARS THROAT]
293
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,495
By the way, I'm gonna need
to follow you home.
294
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,131
[SIRENS BLARING]
295
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,642
OFFICER: Freeze!
Hands where I can see them!
296
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,771
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
297
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,406
This is all my fault.
I got you started on that ginseng tea
298
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,385
and with your addictive personality,
of course that led to--
299
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,479
I swear, Peggy,
I thought I was buying fishing bait.
300
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,991
PEGGY: Don't lie to me, Hank.
I am not stupid.
301
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,620
I am a substitute teacher,
not one of your drug-smoking friends.
302
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:40,792
Mr. Hill, this bass-fishing defense
isn't going to cut it.
303
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,833
- Were you abused as a child?
- What? No!
304
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,066
Are you sure? Juries eat that up.
305
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:49,540
Maybe I ought to tie
that long hair on your head
306
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,408
to the short hair on your ass,
and kick you down the street.
307
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,606
I told you I am not a doper.
308
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,639
Come on, Mr. Hill.
We all use drugs. Even the president.
309
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,344
Not my president. I voted for Dole.
310
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:04,390
The only thing he's on is pain killers,
and he earned it.
311
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,623
Next case. Misters Gribble and Hill.
312
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,133
Nice to see you again, Mr. Hill.
I assume you are the arresting citizen.
313
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:19,570
No. It's the funniest kind of mix-up,
Your Honor--
314
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:20,800
Just one moment.
315
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,137
Mr. Gribble,
remove your hat in my courtroom.
316
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,975
I do not recognize the authority of a
court that hangs the gold-fringed flag.
317
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,107
A flag with gilded edges
is the flag of an Admiralty court.
318
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,981
An Admiralty court
signifies a Naval court-martial.
319
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,680
I cannot be court-martialed twice.
That is all.
320
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,156
- Furthermore--
- Bailiff, gag him.
321
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,282
[GROANS]
322
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:45,615
This must be a typo.
323
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,801
Mr. Hill, you're the last person
I expected to be a drug user.
324
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,734
BOBBY:
Objection, Your Honor.
325
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,667
My dad doesn't use drugs.
326
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,265
The only thing he needs
to be happy is fishing. Sustained.
327
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,737
That's right, Judge.
328
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,508
The strongest thing I use
is BC Headache Powder, I tell you what.
329
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:05,083
I may have accidentally purchased,
once or twice...
330
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:08,977
some illegal substances,
but I was using them...
331
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,189
quite successfully I might add,
as fish bait.
332
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:13,989
Fish bait?
333
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,559
- Guilty.
- I told you. I told him, Your Honor.
334
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:20,190
That's enough out of you.
You're fired.
335
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:24,632
Judge, I'm not lying to you here.
I'm no criminal. I'm just a fisherman.
336
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,795
I don't like your story,
337
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,203
but you've got the haircut
of an honest man.
338
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,108
I'm willing to give you a chance
to prove you're not a liar.
339
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,230
You say you were
using the stuff as bait?
340
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:35,332
Yes, sir.
341
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,610
I'm a bit of an angler myself.
342
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,948
Tomorrow, you, me, and your bald buddy
there are gonna go out to the lake.
343
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:45,388
You'll show me how to catch a
wide-mouthed bass with a rock of crack.
344
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,120
Well, hold on a second.
345
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:51,095
You see, the fish
won't take the bait anymore.
346
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:54,064
- The ecosystem is changed and--
- I've made my ruling.
347
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,534
Either you reel one in tomorrow,
or the two of you
348
00:18:56,602 --> 00:19:00,095
are gonna spend the next 24 months
making Texas State license plates.
349
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,196
[SHUDDERS]
350
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,770
CLERK: Next case:
Fidelity Mutual Insurance
351
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,279
v. Layaway Ray's bait shop.
352
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:16,818
JUDGE:
It's been six hours.
353
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,051
You ready to admit your crime
and do your time?
354
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,684
No, sir, Your Honor.
355
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,491
I'm making progress here.
I can feel it.
356
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,722
Wingo, man! I think I got one.
357
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,029
Hold on to her, Dale.
Don't let her go.
358
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,298
- Thank you, Lord.
- Well, I'll be!
359
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:35,363
Looks like you boys
were telling the truth after all.
360
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:40,270
- Gribble, this fish is frozen.
- I caught it. That's my position.
361
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,337
You obviously bought this
at a grocery store.
362
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,578
You try something like that again,
I'll double your sentence.
363
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,245
Dale, you giblet-head,
if you were gonna cheat,
364
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,482
why the hell did you
buy a frozen bass?
365
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,081
I had a coupon.
366
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,258
All right. Five more minutes
and that's it.
367
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,628
I got to be at a lethal
injection by midnight.
368
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,534
Get your butt off the cooler, Duke.
His Honor wants a pudding.
369
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,836
[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
370
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,707
Hank, don't do it.
371
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,716
We've already tried to cheat.
He'll double our sentence.
372
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,584
I'm not cheating now, Dale.
373
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:24,782
Using cheater bait was cheating.
374
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,489
I got greedy.
375
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:30,789
I'm no better than that lazy greaseball
who tried to steal my truck.
376
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:33,798
Let's face the facts.
We're going to prison.
377
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,994
And all we'll have to dream about
is the last time we went fishing.
378
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,971
I don't know about you,
but I want to remember casting off
379
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,236
with a hand-dug American worm.
380
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,072
[CHIRPING]
381
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:52,373
[CROAKING]
382
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,030
JUDGE: Well, time's up.
Start rowing, Duke.
383
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,396
Now, there's a man who loves to fish.
384
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,738
Almost makes me sorry
to send him to the farm.
385
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:19,901
[SPLASHING]
386
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,486
She ain't pretty,
but she's a bass all right!
387
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,745
You're free to go.
388
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,091
She's the most beautiful fish
I ever caught,
389
00:21:32,174 --> 00:21:33,517
I tell you what!
390
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:36,027
Hold her up, Hank.
She's a wall-hanger.
391
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,654
He.
392
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,509
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
393
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,177
HANK:
That's it! I'm going fishing.
394
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:29,777
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30947
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.